#the clown makeup kit is all ready for this evening

[cryingatships]

I was rewatching Dangerous Romance for Reasons, and there's sooo many stuff happening in the background, but this dinnertime conversation between Kanghan and his father made me think a little deeper.

Kanghan first brings up the topic of him running for the school president. His grandmother encourages him, saying how proud she'll be to have her son and grandsons be successful in their own areas.

"I could tell the whole neighborhood about it."

Very typical Asian elder talk. C'mon Asian ppl of ql tumblr, we've all heard about how the kid next door is the student representative/won an essay competition/ranked first in the exam/plays a sport in the state level/is good at singing etc etc etc right

Maybe a little very annoying (if you're not running for the school president, that is) but matches up with reality. Elders being proud of their kids' or grandkids' achievements, and more often than not pushing them to do better, to excel. You gotta do better than the other kids in academics/grades/sports/socialablity/arts etc etc

Then Kanghan's father speaks up and his words not only contrasts Kang's grandmother's (can I just call her granny from now? grandmother is too long a word) but with much of the usual way ('usual' cause I can't say every single parent/grandparent in Asia is the same) elders in Asia perceive the childrens' school life. Instead of telling Kanghan to work hard and do well, he actively *discourages* Kanghan to steer away from it.

"This kind of work is not easy, you know?"

"You don't want to do it. Trust me"

Now, I'm all for not stressing out kids. Personal experiences ahaha But this is actively restricting Kanghan from exploring and developing his interpersonal and leadership skills, which, I don't think any parent would want to do? Especially someone from the higher economic background, who would prefer their kids to be all shiny and nice. And this is also cutting off someone's chances of developing themselves, opening their wings to the world.... not the best thing a parent should do, certainly.

But it doesn't stop there. Mr. Father I forgot his name is not merely advising, or cautioning Kang. Instead, he is not leaving Kanghan with any decision to choose whether he actually wants to run or not. He's the one making Kanghan's choices, he's taking away Kanghan's agency.

His words appear to be full of care, concerned for Kang's safety. He just wants his son to enjoy his schools years fully.

"At your age, don't stress yourself out unnecessarily. Just have fun at school and hang out with your friends. Then come home to enjoy a good meal of food. Have a good night's sleep."

But, it just hits me as wrong. Idk why, maybe I'm picking too much, looking at all the wrong things and making the worst assumptions. But still, telling their children to only enjoy themselves and do nothing else... I don't feel like that's the best for their future life, not matter how much generational wealth they'll inherit. The need to show off kids is proportional to economic affluence, in my experience?? But ofc very variable

"These kind of thing suits you better. Trust me"

This line, especially. It makes it seem that Kanghan never had a choice. His father had made all the choices for his present and future based on the image of Kanghan he has created on his mind. Is his image actually true to reality? We don't know yet (it's only the 1st ep and I'm def digging too deep and pulling wild theories out of slowly-thickening-but-still-too-this air.)

Kanghan will be what his father wants him to be, what his father believes would suit him. Not so much of a caring father then, eh?

Another interesting thing is Kanghan's posture. He's tense, hunched, not meeting his father's eyes except for in quick, shifty glances. Completely different from his father's confident, smiley way of presenting himself. He's not smiling, he just listens and agrees quickly without saying a word of opposition, or bringing up his own views on the topic.

And in moments like these I wish I knew gifmaking because when these conversation is happening, Kanghan is fidgeting with the cutlery in his hand. He's nervous, stressed.

And his father, who doesn't want his son to be stressed, should atleast be able to tell how the atmosphere has turned heavy, right? but he doesn't seem t care much about stress on his son if he's the one behind the stress.

Now I'm no body language expert but these are some tell tale signs (though the context of Kang's nervousness can be due to some other history he has with his father, rather than emotional manipulation?)

"Have this, son."

And the obedient son is rewarded with a gift of affection. A show of care. Positive reinforcement. Whatever you wanna call it.

Kang tries to smile but of course he can not.

There's another thing, Grandmother, the oldest one at the table, who ought to have enough authority in the household to counter Mr Father, if not more (cause seniority, filial piety and all that), does not oppose him. Though she is not happy with the decision, and she also wants to see her grandson shine and smile.

Then we cut to the scene of Pimfah hope I'm not mistaking names again and Kanghan in the garden. Here, Kanghan seems fine, he's smiling, but he seems to have a dangerous (sadistic?but not in the fun way. also half title drop yay!) streak to him.

The whole dog discussion shivering and hugging my cats protectively.

"My father told me, if you want to tame a dog, don't be afraid to punish it to let it learn."

At first I thought he's just being his privileged rich oppress the poor talk that he's socialised into for being born into wealth.

But after thinking this way, could it be that the one getting punished and tamed, is actually Kanghan himself? With the way his father treats him, denial followed by care, and the way Kanghan does not even try to disobey his father's words... hmmm....

"They say if you hit a dog too much, it can become aggressive."

Being abused as a child lead to higher chances of the child turning abusive, a bully themselves in later life.

That said, whatever one faces in childhood or any other walks of life is NO excuse for further harming another person. Lots of abuse victims become activists, volunteers, or research into abuse prevention and participate in policy making, too.

But anyway, *if* abuse of truly happening in the father-son relationship, can we hope that Kanghan directs any resultant aggressiveness towards his father at the end of the show? Cause idk if a man of such power and wealth can be held accountable to the law... We didn't get this with Vegas but can I hope?

That said, the following dialogues has weakened my line of thought.

But then again media is always perceived differently by different people based on their socialisation and experiences so...

SO anyway, that's some of the scattered thoughts I had! This is probably not a correct observation (my guesses are never right, I'm not lucky at cards ueueue), and ep 2 will prove it wrong in a few hours. Can't say I'm not looking forward to that ehehe~ What consequences will Sailom face for his daring? Will the teacher get punched? Will Kanghan get beaten? (hopefully by Sailom or his friends and not by his father) Will Nawa get slapped? (Guy looks like he packs a mean slap, and Marc Pahun looks pretty af when he's miffed u.u) Will Pimfah have cute girlie? (I CAN HOPE), will we get to see Sailom's elder brother?

ALSO, since we have yet another politician and his rich, spoilt on the exterior son airing on Saturdays, my views have certainly been influenced, too. There are too many similarities (except Kanghan actually still has a mother figure?), so high chances I'm unconsciously projecting Senator Thattep and Tanthai's relationship on Kanghan and his father's. Maybe all they have is some coldness, or historym or issues regarding Kanghan's mother? The possibilities are not endless, but there's a lot u.u

[muttsupreme]

LIPSTICK ON ROMAAAAANNNNNNNNN

him w this hair in s1……ROMAAAANNNN!!!!! bring back ur s1 hair and my life is yours..

I’ve written so many drafts previously (um obviously not here but privately) about Roman using your lipstick/lipgloss and most frequently, your chapstick.

It starts with him wanting to smell like you; vanilla lip masks that look way too sticky but he tries a little on his fingertip and rubs it on very lightly after you leave your desk. Shiv’s face scrunches up when she sees him with a glossy lip for the first time since she let him borrow her Polly Pocket makeup kit when they were kids (her mom got it for her before it was even released, and assumed she’d be so excited; she was not).

Shiv will make some snide quip, privately for once.

“Uhh, did you…just come back from Sephora, or…?”

“What?” He immediately goes on high-alert, higher defense, and realizes that it must be glossy, the fucking lip mask bullshit that smells like warm vanilla and cookies and tastes like pure sugar when he stupidly licks his lips without thinking (or maybe to hope, y’know, that your spit is in it, so it’s indirect kissing). “Oh - fuck you, do you want chapped, dry, disgusting lips? Because some of us don’t want to look like ogres, Fiona.”

“Hey, I was just asking,” she says in a higher pitch with a dismissive chuckle. She doesn’t mention it again; she recognized the smell, who that smell usually follows. Roman’s wary of her from then on, for weeks.

Next time, he’s going through your bag that you refuse to unpack, because it’s only a weekend trip and then you’re going somewhere else immediately after. Why unpack when you’re gonna repack the next day?

He sees stuff, tons of stuff. Sniffs sweaters when you turn around. He’s got your blanket pulled out already, draped across the bed and him, laying on his side looking at you as you get ready for bed in the ensuite bathroom, door open so he can continue making fun of your regiment and the things you’ve packed.

From your purse nearby, or your makeup bag, he picks up a lipstick (I imagine Diorelita). It opens with a quiet ‘pop’ that you recognize and turn around to see him looking attentively at the color.

“Think it suits me?”

“Mmh, maybe. Wanna see?” You reply with a grin, watching him get a little shy on you.

“C’mere,” you encourage him, sitting on his lap as he leans against the headboard, your lipstick in hand. “Lemme make you pretty.”

He lets you, and you’re shocked he’s staying so still. When you’re done, you snarkily - but entirely jokingly - say, “Now what do we say?”

“Fuck you? Thank you, for…making me pretty,” and he does, he’s very, very pretty with that color on, and you did very well gliding it on evenly. He leans up to kiss you just as you lean down to kiss him; the lipstick smears onto your lips.

“Roro - your lipstick’s getting on me,” you try to rub it off, unsexily. You don’t really have to be sexy around him, it’s one of your favorite things.

“Um, it’s your lipstick, I’m just…temporarily borrowing it,” he huffs defensively. His heart literally does fucking cartwheels when you call him that stupid, almost maternal nickname. “Just come here - shut the fuck up, stop complaining. I’d lick the lipstick off you if you’d just get a little - closer.”

“Aw, romantic boy,” you coo, kissing him sweetly and feeling his tongue stick out, lapping at your lips, making good on his promise like a little puppy. When you’re almost positive he must be done, you pull away, but he’s not having it.

“Whoa - slow your fucking roll, you’re not going anywhere, you look…you look like a clown, lipstick’s still all over everywhere,” he says, trying to get you to come back instead of going back to the bathroom. You’re pretty sure, not positive but willing to bet, that he’s lying and you have no lipstick left anywhere on your face.

“I’ll come back,” you reassure with a whisper; you hate to leave him alone when he’s being so sweet, with such pretty makeup on. “Aww, pretty baby,” you can’t stop yourself from cooing at the unintentionally pouty look on his face, one he’d be humiliated by if he saw. You give him a chaste peck.

“Jesus, give me a second to brush my teeth and pee and I’ll be back. Promise.”

“Yeah, but then you won’t taste like you, you’ll taste like…mint and tap water,” he complains. There’s no pleasing him, other than you being beside him at all times.

Okay whatever that’s just two of my many one billion ideas of Romulus and his obsession with…….indirectly kissing you, being pretty for you, being close to you, and um, your lips in general. I could and might write another little thought-post about his obsession with your lips and stuff, who knows. I’m feeling romantical (‘roman’ being the main part of the word).

[rd0265667]

Gaeul x M!Reader: Only Us

Tags: Insecurity, Online Harassment, Angst if you squint

Word Count: 3.2k words

"You sure you want to do this?" The barber looked apprehensively at you. You nodded with a small smile, this was your first official date with her and this had to be perfect. "Alright then, you're paying." He said, as he whipped out his comb. Slowly, you watched as your messy and slightly long hair came to be a nice crew cut. "Thanks man." You said, looking in the mirror with pride. You looked a lot better now. Taking out a small piece of paper from your pocket, you smiled as you checked off the first task

TDL: Cut Hair Pick up Suit and bouquet Confirm restaurant booking Notes: Talk to her about things she likes Ask about her life Don't be too noisy and weird with her Act more respectable

You walked out of the barbershop, optimism in your eyes, only to have it extinguished by the headlines of the news "IVE's GAEUL SPOTTED WITH MYSTERY MAN, SOURCES CLAIM THEY'RE DATING, AS FANS OUTRAGE, MANY THINKING SHE DESERVES BETTER!"

dIVEr: LMAO, look at him, he looks like a clown with those scraps of clothing and that clown wig he calls a hairstyle. Gaeul deserves so much better sumchangolovedive: Eww, look at him, how can he date our queen

You let out a soft grumble, unhappy that the Netizens would already find out about the two of you. Not only that though, you were unhappy that you agreed. 

You didn't want to lie to yourself. You were two worlds apart. She was a member of one of the most popular 4th generation girl groups, and you're...a nobody. The two of you were well aware of the disparity in your status, and anyone else would give up. But you loved her too much to just call it quits like that. No. So you tried your best to make yourself better for her. 

You planned your first official date tonight. It was a step up from the previous dates you had with Gaeul. Where the previous dates were mostly impromptu, with the two of you just hanging out in parks or malls, casually hanging out, Today's date was going to be perfect. Planned down to the second. You booked a nice restaurant with a good view of the city, and preordered some of the fancy food you had heard wonders about. You got a nice haircut, rented a suit and you ordered a bouquet of roses, albeit a little cheesy but many told you to go with it. Looking at your reflection in the mirror, you smiled. You looked distinguished, like someone worthy of Gaeul. You then took your phone out, seeing a message

Adopted Daughter

You can come over now.

You smiled at Leeseo's message, checking yourself to make sure you have everything for the date, before driving to IVE's dorm, excited for the date you had spent so long to plan, and to finally see Gaeul again.

Knocking at the door, you were greeted by Yujin, who only slightly opened the door. "Last adjustments." She said with a smile, as you nodded, not knowing why Gaeul needed makeup. She was the most beautiful woman you have ever seen, even without makeup.

"She's ready for you now." Yujin said, as she opened the door, as you saw Rei, Wonyoung, Liz and Leeseo all standing near the front of the door, all with various makeup kits on them, and in the middle of all of them, stood her. The one and only. Kim Gaeul

You smiled at her, but to your chagrin, you saw her frown for a split second. Did you do something wrong? You quickly shook your head. Maybe you just saw wrongly

"You look great Gaeul." You said, smiling at her, and she gave you a small smile back.

"You cut your hair." She said, as you frowned a little, did she not like it?

Just as you were about to ask, Leeseo piped up, "Are those flowers for Gaeul-Unnie?"

" Ah yes, these are for you Gaeul, I hope you like them." You said, handing the bouquet of roses over with a shy smile. Gaeul smiled back, taking them gently into her hands, smelling it, smiling as she looked at you, "They smile amazing. Thank you." She said with a smile. "Don't stay out too late alright?" Yujin said teasingly at the two of you "We won't" You said as you blushed, not missing the tease thrown at you

"So, where are we going today? Olympic Park? I was surprised you asked me to dress so nicely considering that we usually go to parks or malls." Gaeul asked, as the two of you stepped out of their dorm. You smiled in excitement, "That's the best part! I got us a table at Pierre Gagnaire near Lotte World." Gaeul's head immediately whipped toward you, saying incredulously, "Why did you do that? That place is deathly expensive!" Your smile immediately went lopsided. She doesn't like it? But you spent so much effort just to get that booking, that place is a Michelin Star Restaurant, maybe it was her company that she wasn't a fan of... Seeing your frown, Gaeul immediately waved her hands, saying, "I like it, I like it, I just think it's too expensive for me." "Only the best for you Gaeul." You said, immediately internally cringing after hearing yourself say that. She smiled, as you headed to your car, opening the door for her, of course, before driving to the restaurant. Once you got on the road, you set the radio to play her group's most recent comeback, After Like. You wanted to play more to her interests, make her more comfortable, but once again, like your other efforts today, it seemed to not be going your way. Gaeul didn't really react to the song, but her face seemed a little unhappy, as she leaned on the window and began to sleep. 'Get your shit together man.' You thought to yourself. This date has not been going well.  Along the drive, you couldn't help yourself from stealing glances at the Beautiful Girl sleeping next to you 'I have to make this work.' You leaned over, gently nudging Gaeul "We're here Gaeul. Wake up." You said, as you watched her slowly get up, stretching as she yawned, while you looked at her with adoration in your eyes "Is there something on my face? Or are you just excited to see me?" Gaeul said, looking teasingly at you, but as she looked up at the restaurant, she frowned once again. "Let's go Y/N." Gaeul said, sounding less than happy as you followed behind her.

"So, how's practice been? I heard from Leeseo that you girls have been training for a new comeback." You said just as you both sat at the restaurant table, seeing Gaeul's face morph into shock. "Oh, umm, well, yeh, it's been tough, our manager has been pushing us pretty hard but Yujin has being making sure we still get some rest." She replied, pretty dryly as she seemed just exhausted at the mention of it. "Ah, wel-" You tried to talk, before being interrupted by Gaeul "Can we not? I don't really want to talk about work right now." She said sharply, seemingly annoyed at you. "Oh, I'm sorry..." You said, looking down in embarrassment.  Our food was then promptly delivered, but to your chagrin, Gaeul still didn't look too happy, but you saw her force out a little smile as she looked at you, "So, what's been going on in your life so far? Any annoying customers recently?" She said, wriggling her eyebrow as if to prompt you to start ranting and talking about your job, and you were going to, but, the last two lines of your notes rang out to you. "Oh, not much, they were all pretty nice, I don't want to gossip or talk about any of them." Gaeul's face remained unchanged. She quickly went back to quietly eating her dinner, as you frowned.  'Guess this is the last date huh? It's for the best I guess. She was too good for me anyways..." You thought to yourself,  as you too slowly ate your dinner. The next half an hour was painful to say the least, the two of you trying your best to start a conversation, but it seemed like nothing was working. You sighed internally as the both of you walked out of the restaurant, before you gently held Gaeul's hand, saying, "Hey, Gaeul, could we talk?" She nodded, as you took her hand, sitting down at a nearby bench. " I'm sorry Gaeul. I know this night hasn't been the greatest for the both of us, but I promise, I'll improve myself and make sure the ne-" Gaeul suddenly interrupted you "Wait, we can still make it. Let's go." She said, grabbing you by the hand, running to your car. She took your GPS, keying in the directions to a small park near IVE's dorm. "Oh, umm, alright." You could only stutter out, as you were still in confusion For the ride, Gaeul began pestering you into talking about life again, as she insisted on just shooting the wind with you, as you felt yourself get more comfortable with her again. "Did you see D-Mitch and Brooks today?" Gaeul asked, talking about the fight that had occured awhile ago. "YEH! Brooks is such a dirty player, if you hit someone under the belt, don't be surprised when they try to hit back, such a dishonourable play."  You went on a mini rant, before stopping and blushing, realising you had broken the two lower rules, looking apologetically at Gaeul. "Sorry about that, I got a little caught up." Gaeul simply smiled, saying, "You're back" Before I could ask what she meant, Gaeul shouted out in excitement, "Let's go! Let's go!" The two of you quickly ran to an open field, seeing a big screen showing a movie, as things began clicking. It was a movie screening of a movie Gaeul had mentioned she loved before, "Dear Evan Hansen" Gaeul ran over to a girl, hugging her, before grabbing a ground sheet from her, running back to you and hurriedly setting down the ground sheet. "Hurry, it's about to begin." She said as she patted the ground beside her You sat down, suddenly feeling Gaeul lean into you, exclaiming in shock, "What're you doing?" "Shh, the scene's starting." Gaeul hurriedly whispered

You looked up to the screen as you saw two teens starting to sing

I like you because, you.

♫ I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you. ♫

♫ I don't need you to search, for the proof that I should. ♫

♫ You don't have to convince me, you don't have to be scared you're not enough, cos what we've got going, is good. ♫

You looked down at Gaeul in shock. Did she know?  You looked down, putting your hand on her shoulder, before she quickly grabbed your hand, looping it around her neck to put you two in a backhug and leaning more into you, as you smiled. The question could wait.

♫ Try to quiet the noises in your head. ♫

♫ We can't compete with all that. ♫

♫ So, what if it's us? ♫

♫ What if it's us, and only us? ♫

♫ And what came before, won't count anymore, or matter? ♫

♫ Can we try that? ♫

♫ What if it's you? ♫

♫ And what if it's me? ♫

♫ And what if that's all that we need it to be? ♫

♫ And the rest of the world falls away, what do you say? ♫

'She knows' You silently thought to yourself. It was all starting to make sense now.

♫ I never thought there'd be someone like you would want me ♫

♫ Well... ♫

♫ So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go ♫

♫ but if you really see me ♫

♫ if you like me for me and nothing else ♫

♫ well, that's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know ♫

♫ so it can be us, it can be us, and only us ♫

♫ and what came before, won't count anymore, or matter ♫

♫ we can try that ♫

♫ it's not so impossible ♫

♫ nobody else, but the two of us here ♫

♫ cos you're saying it's possible ♫

♫ we can just watch the whole world disappear ♫

♫ till you're the only one I still know how to see ♫

♫ it's just you and me ♫

♫ it'll be us, it'll be us, and only us and what came before won't count anymore ♫

♫ we can try that ♫

♫ you and me, that's all that we need it to be ♫

♫ and the rest of the world falls away ♫

♫ and the rest of the world falls away ♫

♫ the world falls away ♫

♫ the world falls away ♫

♫ and it's only us ♫

Gaeul looked up at you, as you smiled, you knew what Gaeul was trying to tell you. She gently took your hand in hers, lightly kissing it. "Let's go Y/N." She said, as she pulled you by the hand, running to the roof of IVE's dorm.

"So you knew?" You asked, as Gaeul sat next to you on the rooftop. "Of course I knew, I saw the comments on the posts online too, I knew you'd be affected by it, but I didn't think you'd be affected so much by them. I'm sorry." Gaeul said, looking down as you frantically waved your hands "There's nothing to apologise about Gaeul. You're more than worth enduring some trolls online. Besides, they are kinda right, I don't deserve you, that's why I tried so hard to be better for you." You said, only to be met with Gaeul's withering glare. "Y/N, if you say that again, I will spray you with the hose." She said through gritted teeth "They are though...." You said, chuckling as you saw Gaeul start waving the hose in your face "My bad my bad, but you know what I mean..." You muttered out, as Gaeul's shoulder's lowered a little, walking over to you, as she tenderly put her hands on your face, massaging your cheek as she looked at you. " Well, today was our date, and you 'improved yourself' to impress me. You booked a nice suit, booked a fancy restaurant for our date. Didn't go so well did it?" Gaeul commented, as you both chuckled. "But you're a celebrity Gaeul...and I'm just a nobody." You said, as you uncomfortably fidgeted, legs shaking and hands trembling. "You're the great Kim Gaeul, and I'm someone the history books will never remember. Just a nobody, so how could I be worthy of being with you if I'm just...me." You looked down, your whole body shaking as you tried to keep from crying. Gaeul quickly shuffled over to you, putting one hand on your knee to calm you down, the other hand around your shoulder as she slowly patted your back, trying her best to comfort you " I had to try to become better, try to be more formal and Upper-Class like your, but like always, I fuck things up. I don't deserve you Gaeul..."

"No, the date didn't work out because this formal and 'Upper-Class' man wasn't the one who stole my heart. The man who stole my heart was the one who would take me out on dates where we would just mess around in parks or malls. The one who would just talk shit with me and talk like he didn't have a care in the world, just sharing our lives together. The one who would make me feel so normal yet so special to him, and the one who I can let my troubles disappear with, at least for a little while. I didn't go out with him tonight." Gaeul said, looking dead into your eyes, as you struggled to comprehend what she had just said "I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you, nor do I need you to search for reasons for me to want you. Fuck the media and the toxic fans, this is our relationship. You and me, Y/N, that's all that we need it to be. Let the world fade away, I just want to be with you. Not some changed version of you, or some version of you that you think is better. I love you for who you are, Y/N." Gaeul smiled, but bit her lip, trying to contain her smile as she tried to let her words sink in to you. "You really mean it?" You whispered, desperately hoping that you weren't hallucinating. "Every word." Gaeul said as she gently pat your back "What if I'm dreaming?" You asked, as Gaeul laughed out "Don't worry Y/N, I can solve that. Stand up and close your eyes."  You followed suit, closing your eyes as you anticipated a slap or some attack, before having a strong stream of water shot into your face. You looked up in shock, seeing Gaeul smirking at you as she shouted out, "Is it a dream???" before guffawing at you. "It's not funny..." You said, pouting a little as Gaeul cooed "Aigoo, a little baby, come here" Gaeul said in a baby voice, as you tried to look sad, but to no avail Gaeul quickly ran up to you, asking you to lean down before messing up your hair. "There, just the way I like it." She said, beaming with pride as you looked more like you normally did. "So, will we be having a second date?" You cheekily asked "No." Gaeul said, looking you square in the eyes, as she slowly backed from you "Wha-" You tried to ask, before getting blasted in the face by a jet of water again "It's not a second date, this one didn't count. I expect to see the real you for our first date alright?" She asked, giggling at you as she looked at you soaked. "You wanna see the real me? Come here!" You shouted jokingly, running at Gaeul, trying to catch and hug her to get her wet too(Not like that you pervs), as she laughed, as the two of you began chasing each other around the roof, shouting and laughing like two little kids at a playground "YAH!" You both whipped your heads toward the door to the roof, seeing a very grumpy and disheveled Yujin. "I get that the two of you are in love, but like, I want to sleep? So, keep it down before I come up here with Leeseo." She threatened, as you and Gaeul chuckled, remembering the time Leeseo kept you two up through the night playing Monopoly. "Alright alright, sorry Yujin." You chuckled as she grunted, walking back down to the dorm, turning to Gaeul only to get tackled to the ground, the both of you chuckling as she laid by your side, laying her head on your chest as you both just gazed at the stars. "Y'know, so many beautiful stars are out tonight, it's just my luck that the most beautiful one is lying beside me." You joked, as Gaeul's head whipped up to you. "If you say something that cheesy again, I will hose you again."  "Okay Ms 'I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you'" You chuckled, as she glared at you You quickly pulled her closer to you, as you felt her melt into you.

You're one lucky guy

[hexx-bunny]

if you keep moving, you will come to a better place

zukka, abo, omega!Zuko, alpha!Sokka, slow burn When Zuko presented as an Omega, he knew Ozai would find the worst possible way to get rid of him. He is to be married off to anyone who wins a stupid tournament. Zuko has other plans though, which include escaping and living his life however he wants. But it proves harder than expected. Cue Sokka enters his life, a non-bending Alpha unlike any he ever met. A marriage that may or not happen. And a long, weird roadtrip that shows Zuko the rest of the world is not as cruel as his Father made him believe.

AO3

Chapter 1:

Zuko was ten when he presented. Earlier than expected, and worse than anyone could predict. He still remembered those days vividly. After a visit to the doctor, he was scolted back to his rooms, which he was forbidden to leave. Nobody would look at him. The guards, usually gentle sometimes, avoided him. He could hear his mom and dad screaming at each other from the other side of the Royal Wing. Was he sick? Was he going to die? He didn’t feel like he was dying. He just felt alone, and scared.

When the door finally opened he almost jumped from the bed, waiting to see Uncle Iroh. His uncle never lied to him. But Azula waltzed in with a smile that never brought anything good.

“Guess what I just found out, Zuzu~”

“Go away, Azula. I’m not in the mood.”

Since their last presentation of Firebending progress to their grandfather, she’d been more smug than usual. Azula ignored him, tapping a finger to her lips as she studied him. She knew how to press his buttons.

“What?!” Zuko snapped.

“Hm… nothing. Just, I thought Omegas were prettier. But you still look the same.”

The boy’s heart froze.

Omega. Omega?

“You think it’ll make it harder to marry you off?” she continued, “Since, you know, that’s all you are good for now. Maybe they’ll give you to some old, gross man. Actually, I’m kinda sad. I really wanted to keep seeing you embarrass yourself in front of grandfather, but Omegas aren’t allowed to Firebend and all,” Azula chuckled, “At least it explains why you are so bad at it. Omegas are just… not made for that stu- Hey! I’m not done, come back!”

But Zuko wasn’t listening anymore, he was running before he noticed. Omega. He was an omega. Dad may not like him very much but he wouldn’t… he couldn’t right? Ursa and Ozai’s screams were too close, and before the guards could stop him, Zuko was opening their door.

“Dad!” he cried. He was an Omega. He was crying. He felt like the smallest thing in the world, yet he gathered all his courage for that moment. Zuko’s tiny fingers grabbed the red robes of his dad, his mom was trying to pull him away but he refused to budge, Dad, please! I- I don’t care that I’m just an omega, I promise I’ll try harder. I’ll get better! I’ll… I’ll train more, and master Bending, please, please don’t give me to an old man. Please, I pro-”

That part he remembered in flashes: Ozai’s pure look of disgust. His hand moving. Zuko braced for a slap. The heat, the unforgiving heat, he didn’t expect. It burned. It burned. It burned. Something smelled bad. The bright light died, and as everything went black, he heard his mom crying.

“Look at what you’ve done,” was the first thing Ozai spat when he woke up. The pain almost made it hard to hear. Actually it…  was kinda hard to hear. Why was his face covered up? What had happened? “Do you know how hard it’ll be to find you a mate now? Nobody wants a weak, scarred Omega.”

Ozai didn’t visit him again. Neither did Azula. Those days were spent in silence, in pain, Ursa cradling his body. Zuko wondered which of them was shaking.

He had ten years, still Zuko never got fully used to the scar. The way people turned their faces when they saw it was maybe part of the problem. He knew what they whispered about him, about how ugly it was, nobody would want a mate like that. Any partner he managed to find would certainly be just after his position. Correction: any partner his Father managed to find.

Zuko guessed he would find out in a few hours.

He stared at his reflection. Maids and servants only prepared married Omegas, Prince or not he was supposed to get ready by himself. It didn’t look so bad. His long dark hair half secured on a high ponytail with the Fire Nation symbol. The red robes also fitted him well, even though they were a pain in the ass to walk in. Zuko would gladly kill whoever had decided Omegas needed to wear so many layers of clothing. The most important part, the makeup, was missing. He didn’t exactly despise that part, but he despised how the paint would only bring more attention to his scar. He had angrily scrubbed it all off, better to endure his Father’s anger for one more day than to be mocked for walking around like a half-painted clown.

Mothers were allowed to help their unmarried Omega kids. Ursa probably would’ve managed to paint him well, she would’ve looked over his shoulder to their reflection and said Zuko looked beautiful. But she was gone.

Zuko let his fingers touch the golden earrings. They used to belong to her. That was when the door finally opened.

Uncle Iroh gave him a half-hearted smile.

“Are you ready?”

He had been the only person Zuko could count on for a decade. When he was banished from learning Firebending for being an Omega, Uncle Iroh would sneak him out of the palace late at night and teach him. When Zuko was prohibited from fighting, Uncle Iroh gave him double swords as a secret birthday gift and taught him how to master them. And when Zuko told him he was going to run away after today’s celebrations, it was Uncle Iroh who hugged him tightly and promised to help. Even though it would break his heart, Uncle Iroh always helped.

Zuko often thought his Uncle was probably the only decent Alpha in the world.

“Yes.”

Here is how an ideal life for an Omega would take place in the Palace: they would learn just enough to manage a household and attract a mate. After sixteen, Betas and Alphas would start courting them. By eighteen, it was normal to be married off to a mate that could bring status to the Omega’s family.

Here is what Ozai decided: Zuko would learn enough to manage a household. Nobody wanted to court him, he was too damaged, too much of a black sheep. Instead of marrying him to some foreign Prince or Princess, he decided to host a mating tournment. He invited nobles from all the world to fight for Zuko. Dogs fighting over a scrap of meat.

The marriage wasn’t even going to be officiated in the Fire Nation if a foreigner won. Zuko was theirs, and therefore no longer Ozai’s problem. Azula, who to nobody’s surprise presented as an Alpha at twelve, was his heir and all he cared about. Soon there would be high status Betas and Omegas begging for her hand and Zuko would only be on the way.

As always. Always on the way. A blemish on his plans, reflected by the one on his face.

Ozai didn't even spare him a glance when Zuko arrived at the podium, sitting on the smallest throne right next to Azula. The Palace courtyard was bursting with excitement. It was impossible to figure out which of those people came to fight or to watch. The complete lack of respect for the noble participants was unlike the Fire Lord, who would plan even the tiniest detail, showing there was a hierarchy and his place was at the top. It was just another sign of his disinterest, that tournament was not for him, it was to humiliate Zuko. And now, surely with any high ranking nobles leaving for what they would consider an insult to their status, he was left with…

“The rabble is very interested in your hand, Zuzu.”

He had an escape plan. It was not a question of if, but when. He had it all ready. He could firebend, he could fight, he had the money and supplies Iroh smuggled to him. Still, seeing how many old, terrible Alphas and Betas were in line to mate him was terrifying. Zuko’s biggest fear for years stared back as dozens of eyes: being forcefully mated off, raped and diminished to a baby-making machine until his death.

Happened with his mom, why wouldn’t he have the same fate?

A warm hand gripped his shoulder. Uncle Iroh sat on the last throne.

The drums begin playing, a mimeckry of his heartbeat.

No. No panicking. Zuko was gonna get out. A few hours, and he was out.

“By the way,” Azula whispered by his ear, looking as bored as ever, “Your runaway kit is ridiculous.”

Her hand grabbing his arm was all that stopped him from jumping away. The pit on his stomach grew, it felt about to swallow him whole.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” he croaked.

“C’mon. You are not that dense,” she relaxed her grip, “Father doesn’t know about it. Yet.”

“What do you want, Azula?”

The first nobles stepped on the makeshift arena. Zuko couldn’t care less.

“A deal. Father just wants to get rid of you, but General Zhao has other plans. He thinks if he wins, you’ll give him some political leverage. He’ll probably try something stupid like killing me and putting one of your… spawn on the throne. I know, a complete idiot. I’ll kill him by the end of the year, I swear he is so boring…”

“What are you talking about,” his throat felt dry. Zhao was never part of any of his plans. Azula clearly knew that.

“Well. He set some of his agents on you," she shrugged, as if those were old news, "Here is what’s gonna happen: If he wins, you are on the heart of the Fire Nation, surrounded by his men and legally mated. There is no way you could escape.”

“Yes, I can,” Zuko gritted his teeth.

One of the contestans was knocked out. People cheered. The second round began.

“Be realistic, Zuzu. Now, if he doesn’t win one of the two things will happen: either some low-level Fire Noble wins. You are still stuck here. And his agents will probably try to make a widow out of you and he'll sweep in, oferring to take you. Daddy will agree, of course, you know it. Or, some Earth Kingdom nobody wins. Zhao is too much of an idiot to know how to infiltrate the Earth Kingdom, but he is set on making his agents follow you to the borders. Maybe he’ll try to make it look like an accident on the road. Who cares. The thing is, you will be out, then you can run. Unless… someone tells daddy dearest of your little plan.”

Zuko’s scar throbbed. He thought he was being so smart. But at every corner, Azula seemed to take pleasure in proving him wrong. He looked angrily at her with his good eye.

“What do you want ? Spit it out.”

If he weren't so immersed in his own desperation, Zuko would’ve been shocked at the way her face changed. Few people could see when her mask of cruelty slipped, and then, for a moment, Azula looked heartbroken. It was gone as soon as it appeared. He briefly wondered if he had imagined it.

“I won’t tell on you if you find Ty Lee for me. She is on Kyoshi Island. Tell her,” she forced the next words out, low and too sincere, and making sure Ozai wasn’t listening, “I wish there was another way.”

Zuko was taken aback.

“But- how would you even know I did it?”

“I know all about your stupid concept or honor. You would do it. And you wouldn’t use it to blackmail me,” Azula faked a yawn “Deal?”

Not like you are giving me a fucking chance here, Zuko thought. Yet, he muttered:

“Deal.”

He stared at the sea of green and red uniforms that made the crowd. Air Nomads would never participate in such a ritual. And the Water Tribes never seemed to care much about their business. The arena was already marked by Earth and Fire bending, each disgusting Alpha trying to out-Alpha the other. For a moment he spotted General Zhao and Zuko forced himself to take a deep breath. He thought he saw a flash of blue clothing, but it was probably a trick of the light.

Those few hours suddenly felt too long to endure. The third round was about to start.

[artificialqueens]

Don't Need a Flight to Get to Paradise (Crystal x Gigi) - A-tresia

Gigi methodically slices the tape open and digs inside. Her eyes widen and her face is suddenly hot and red. And even though there’s an obvious look of embarrassment seen on her face, she’s still thankful that the camera is focused on her and not on the contents of the package.

A/N: Some non-AU smut because (don’t deny it!) we want this and we absolutely deserve this. This is probably the filthiest thing I will ever attempt to put into words. Enjoy!

Gigi sets her phone on the table and presses the button to start her Live. She fixes her hair while she waits. “Hey, everyone!” she says still combing her fingers through her freshly curled hair. “It’s been a while since I’ve gone Live and I thought,” she emphasizes the last syllable with a nod, “since I have a little bit of free time that I could go do an unboxing for you guys.” She squints and reads through the comments as she waits for more people to join.

She picks up her phone and flips the camera to pan across the pile in front of her. “Okay, so, I’ve got quite a  bit to open. There’s a couple of PR boxes and some merch from my season 12 sisters,” she explains, pointing to the boxes.

Struggling to open boxes with one hand, she decides to prop her phone against the wall and sit in front of it as she goes through the rest of the boxes. She’s already opened two make up PR boxes when she sees a familiar name on one of them, deciding this is what she’s opening next.

“Look, you guys! I have a package from my girlfriend,” she says playing up the Crygi clout. No one has to know the real tea, they can guess all they want.

Gigi holds up the box to the camera to point to the Crystal Methyd sticker plastered on the top. The comments are suddenly wild. “I wonder what’s inside,” she says, shaking the box. It sounds solid but it might just be packaging. “It’s probably new merch. Thanks, Crystal!”

Gigi methodically slices the tape open and digs inside. Her eyes widen and her face is suddenly hot and red. And even though there’s an obvious look of embarrassment seen on her face, she’s still thankful that the camera is focused on her and not on the contents of the package.

Fuck.

Fuuuuuuck.

She smiles slyly at the camera and quickly grabs a new box to open, trying to cover up the internal panic she’s currently experiencing. “Sorry, you guys. It looks like it’s unreleased merch. Let’s wait for Crystal to release it before I share. Okay?”

The comments are even crazier than before. Asking what’s inside the box. And why she’s suddenly so red in the face. She knows her socials will be flooded with this.

Gigi ignores the comments and even though she only planned to be on Live to open maybe two boxes, she proceeds to open three more make up boxes and merch packages from Jan and Nicky. She’s hoping people will forget. But who is she kidding? Stans never forget.

“Thanks for keeping me company for the last, uh,” she looks over at her clock, “for the last hour and a half. I’ll catch you guys again soon!” Gigi winks and ends the Live.

Not even five minutes after she ends the Live, she gets a FaceTime call and Crystal’s fully-painted face floods her screen. “Gigi Goode, why are people tagging me in screenshots of your Live and asking me what I sent you?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know what you sent me,” Gigi glares.

Crystal raises a brow at her. “You don’t like it?”

“I mean, I haven’t gotten the chance to fully look at it yet.” She reaches into the box to pull out the contents — a bottle of lubricant, and… Gigi holds it up to the camera. “You got me a dildo.” Like it isn’t obvious what’s in her hand.

Crystal leans in closer to the camera. “Not just any dildo,” she smirks like she’s so proud of herself. “It’s a clone-a-willy.”

“A what?”

“A clone-a-willy,” Crystal repeats slowly.

Gigi’s eyes widen in realization. She takes a good look at the dildo in her hand. The length. The girth. The slight curve. The vein underneath. They all feel right. And real. But it’s cold and made of silicone and the person it’s supposed to be attached to is 1,600 miles away. She looks back at Crystal. “So you mean this is —”

“Mmhmm, balls included!” She definitely looks like she’s proud of herself, like she did the most groundbreaking thing on earth. “It’s even really close to my skin tone.”

Gigi laughs. “Were there other options?”

“Oh, I definitely thought of making it in an obnoxious glow-in-the-dark hot pink. I could make you one in pink if you want that, I still have the mold.” Crystal snorts as Gigi proceeds to inspect her new toy. “There’s a suction cup so you could use it on any flat surface,” she says this so very seriously you’d think she’s selling the product.

Gigi finds a button at the bottom. “Oh my god, Crystal. It’s a vibrator too?”

“Only the best for Gigi Goode.” They both snort. But clearly, Crystal is more amused. “Also, Geege, unreleased merch? Should we make a profit out of my dick? Am I a genius or am I a genius?”

“Hey, your dick is awesome. But I’m not sharing. I barely get any of it.” Crystal hasn’t stopped laughing since she suggested making multiple models to sell. Gigi thinks back to the last time they saw each other and realizes how long ago it’s been. With all the touring they’ve been doing, there just hasn’t been time to see each other in between. “Long-distance sucks,” she pouts.

“I know, baby,” Crystal sighs. Underneath her full clown makeup, Gigi knows she’s pouting too. “But we’re seeing each other in like two weeks so that’s something to look forward to, right?”

Gigi whines like a child. “But the last time I saw you was six weeks ago!”

“That’s why I cloned my dick for you. So you can fuck yourself with it and I can watch over FaceTime and you don’t have to miss me as much.”

“That does sound hot,” she considers. Gigi cocks her head to the side and bites her lower lip and looks up at Crystal from underneath her lashes. “Can we use it now?”

Crystal wiggles her brows at Gigi. “Do you want to?”

“I do,” she nods. She takes in Crystal’s face that’s taking up her screen and scrunches her nose. “But your mug really isn’t doing it for me.”

“Later, then?”

“For sure,” Gigi winks. “No, but seriously. I appreciate the sentiment. I just miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“Should I send you a replica of my dick too?”

Crystal perks up at the suggestion, deciding then and there that she’ll send Gigi a kit — in maybe neon purple. “But it’s messy to make. It was like a science experiment!”

“Crystal. Elizabeth. Methyd,” she says, feigning shock. “Did you stick your dingaling in any of the science experiments you did in school?” Gigi can’t stop laughing at the mental image of Crystal sticking her erect penis into a model volcano.

“Shut up! It was hard to stay hard.”

—

Gigi couldn’t get anything else done for the rest of the day with the anticipation of what’s to come. Besides, she’s maintained a semi since they hung up and it didn’t really help with her already short attention span. She considered rubbing one out just for a little relief but decided to wait it out. It’s going to be better this way.

She’s already in bed, still semi-hard and freshly showered, with Crystal’s penis replica and a bottle of lube within arms reach when her phone buzzes in her hand.

Crystal: 2 mins. Get your laptop set up.

She doesn’t even bother to reply. She arranges her laptop, puts on her earphones (which, for a bit, she thinks of forgoing since her roommates are sure to hear her anyway), and positions herself on the bed checking to make sure that Crystal will be able to see everything.

In exactly two minutes, Crystal’s smiling face (void of makeup, thank god) fills her laptop screen. “Hey,” they both say at the same time. Gigi feels herself harden further at the look on Crystal’s face as she stares back at her.

“Geege, you shouldn’t have bothered with clothes. I didn’t!” Crystal moves back against her pillows as she pushes her laptop a little bit further from her to give Gigi the full view of her already hard penis. “Come on, I couldn’t be the only one naked here!”

“Sorry.” Gigi shakes herself out of her stupor at seeing Crystal naked, thumbing around the tip of her dick and quickly pulls her tank top over her head. She grips herself through the fabric of her underwear with a groan.

“Gigi,” Crystal breathes.

She slowly pulls her underwear down her legs, watching Crystals breath hitch. It makes her feel flushed and hot all over. “Happy?”

“Very.” She looks straight into Gigi’s eyes and wraps her hand around her cock, slowly stroking herself for Gigi to watch. “You look so good.” There isn’t a need for long introductions, they both know they’re on this call for one thing.

Gigi’s mouth feels dry. So instead of answering, she starts stroking, matching her pace with Crystal. They stroke in tandem for a while, eyes not leaving each other,  before Crystal tells Gigi to get the lube. She watches Gigi squeeze a generous amount onto her fingers. “Ready?”

“Can’t wait,” she says as she shifts to spread her legs wider so Crystal has a better view. “Can’t wait to stretch myself out so I can take your cock.” Gigi fucking hates dirty talk but she just misses Crystal so much she doesn’t even have the energy to cringe at herself; instead, she reaches down to rub her fingers over her hole with warmed up lube.

Crystal stops touching herself. Instead she focuses on Gigi’s movements. She watches Gigi slowly slip a finger in, whimpering quietly at the sensation of a single digit sliding in and out of her.

“Go on,” Crystal urges.

Gigi adds another finger and feels herself stretch and clench around her fingers. “Feels so good,” she breathes out. It’s been three days since she’s masturbated and fucked herself and six weeks since she’s had Crystal’s actual dick. She pulls one knee up for more space and moves her fingers in and out, gradually increasing her pace, going deeper each time. Her other hand wraps around her cock and strokes in time with her fingers.

A third finger slips alongside the first two and Gigi feels fuller. “Crystal,” she moans.

Crystal’s cock jumps at the sound. She’s so painfully hard she firmly wraps her hand around the base of her cock, delaying getting even more worked up until Gigi has her Crystal dildo up in her ass. “You’re doing so well, Geege,” she encourages. “Get yourself nice and stretched.”

Gigi can’t wait to get Crystal’s fake cock inside her. She shudders in anticipation. “C-can — Crys, I need —“ She sounds wrecked. Gigi is easy to work up; so easy to get all wet and open and desperate.

“Fuck, Gigi. You have no idea what you fucking look like.” She watches Gigi’s hips jerk. “Are you ready for my cock, baby?” Gigi couldn’t even form a sentence. Her jaw is slack and she just nods in agreement. “Look at yourself, so slick and open, I could just slide right in.”

“I want you to.”

“Do your fingers feel good?”

“I-I, y-yes, yeah. I like yours better, though.”

Gigi removes her hand from her throbbing cock and pulls her fingers out. She reaches out for her dildo, licks up one side of it and winks at Crystal.

“Torture,” Crystal groans.

“I would much prefer if this were actually you.”

Gigi pulls her laptop closer and rolls over on her stomach, finding a little relief by rubbing herself against her sheets. She tilts her screen down and positions her new toy and herself so Crystal has full view of her mouth.

“You’re gonna want to start touching yourself,” she says before licking the tip of the dildo slowly. Crystal’s mouth hangs open, practically drooling at the sight, and just nods as she tries her best to mimic the movement of Gigi’s mouth and hands with her own hands.

Gigi maintains eye contact with Crystal while she wraps her lips around the toy and starts giving it a very enthusiastic blow job, easing her mouth down and coating it with saliva. She strokes her hand up and down the way she knows Crystal likes as she moves her lips up and down, stopping every so often to lick the shaft and head. At the back of her head, she knows how ridiculous she might look giving a cold silicone toy a blowjob but it feels so much like Crystal she doesn’t even give it another thought.

Crystal is stroking herself with her right hand in a regular fluid motion, matching Gigi’s pace. The fingers on her left hand pinches at her nipple piercing.

“So hot,” Gigi comments.

“Feels good,” Crystal whispers as she watches Gigi take all of it into her mouth, closing her eyes as she relaxes her throat and swallows around it. It’s obscene but Crystal can’t look away. “Fuck, need to be inside you.”

Gigi draws off the dildo with a smirk, pressing a kiss to the tip of the toy. She quickly gets up from the bed, taking the laptop, the bottle of lube, and the very wet toy with her.

“Where are you going?” Crystal asks.

She sets her laptop down. “This will be easier on the floor,” she explains.

Gigi reaches for the dildo and squirts extra lube onto the already saliva-slick surface. She gets on her knees and sticks the suction of the dildo directly on the floor underneath her.

“Wanna ride you,” she says positioning herself. Crystal not able to take her eyes away from Gigi’s hard dick pointing straight at her.

“Yeah, okay.” Crystal leans forward to get a better look at Gigi rising up a little bit on her knees, grabbing the shaft,  and slowly lowering herself down on the silicone cock. “This is so hot, fuck.”

She doesn’t realize that she has her eyes closed until she feels the base of the toy pressed up against her and she slightly stumbles forward at the fullness. Gigi moans at the realization that she’s got it all in; so lewd that Crystal thinks Gigi just came right then.

“You okay, babe?”

“Fucking awesome,” Gigi breathes out. “Feels exactly like you. Not that the dildo is as good as the original, but still.“

Crystal laughs and this sets Gigi’s laughter off too. How very fitting for them to be laughing while doing this.

She waits for Gigi to calm down and adjust to the intrusion and only starts to touch herself again when Gigi starts moving.

Gigi begins to rock herself up and down on the shaft, encouraging Crystal to touch herself. She thinks she could come just like this — not touching herself, just fucking herself on the perfect replica of Crystal’s cock. She lets her own dick bounce against her body as she rides the toy in little short motions.

Gigi moans and whimpers as she watches Crystal languidly work a generously lubed hand over herself.

“I feel like I’m watching a porno,” Crystal comments as her hand starts to work faster on her own cock. Gigi tries to laugh but it quickly turns into an obscene moan. “Touch yourself, Gee,” Crystal encourages.

"Oh, fuck! Baby, I love your dick so much.” Gigi grips her own dick and pumps along with Crystal. She sets a steady pace bouncing on the dildo making her thighs burn. But that’s the least of her concerns. The burn just intensifies everything.

"Yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” she answers, biting her lower lip.

Crystal strokes her cock slowly, trying to make the sensation last, but the sight and sounds of Gigi pleasuring herself was just too much.

“G-Gigi,” Crystal stutters, struggling to find words. “I c-can’t —“

“Go on, baby. I want to see you come.” Crystal gasps out a breath and instinctively closes her eyes. “Eyes on me, babe,” Gigi croons, syncing her movement on the toy to Crystal’s hands.

She watches Crystal work herself over the edge, listening to her shaky breaths and pitchy moans. She didn’t know she could feel pleasure just by listening to Crystal moan like this, listening to her cry, and try to hold in her whines.

“Oohhh, fu-fuuuuck me,” Crystal moans. Suddenly her hand is moving so fast, Gigi doesn’t know where to focus her eyes — her face contorting with pleasure, her hand pinching her pierced nipple, her hips jerking upward, or the cum shooting over her spasming abdomen.

“Fuck, that was hot,” Crystal says as she pushes back hair that’s stuck to the sweat on her forehead, still panting. She looks back at Gigi who’s waiting for her to recover, still moving her hands over her still hard and throbbing dick with long strokes. “Your turn.”

Gigi leans back against her calves and bottoms out on the dildo. She wraps her hand firmly around her cock and thrusts up into her fist. “Fuck, it’s really — ah — i-it’s really too much. I’m really so — I can’t —” She’s no longer stroking but thrusting uncontrollably up into her hand. “S-so close,” she moans. “Gonna come. Fuck, I’m gonna —” Gigi cries out, eyes rolling back, as thick ropes of cum splatter all the way up her torso, some reaching all the way up to her chin.

Her orgasm is so intense, there’s a deep sense of calm that spreads throughout her body. She slowly lifts herself from the dildo and collapses on the floor, panting and jerking and not even bothering to clean up. She’ll deal with the sticky mess later.

She opens her eyes to see Crystal staring back at her in a daze. Gigi’s never felt the distance between them as sharply as she does now. All she wants is to hold Crystal and be held.

“Wow,” Crystal whispers. Gigi just nods, still too overwhelmed to speak.

For a moment they just stay there, a moment frozen in time, watching each other and drinking it all in.

“Crystal, I —“

“I know. I feel bad that I’m not there to do anything about it.”

“Two weeks.” Crystal nods in agreement. “I’m sticky,” Gigi points out.

“We should probably both clean up.”

“I’ll call you again in 15, yes?”

“Take your time.” Gigi nods.

They wave and blow kisses at each other before Crystal ends the call with a love you lingering in the air. Gigi sighs, equally satiated and sad. Two weeks.

[kaioken16]

Unspoken Affection

Mallek Week 2021 - Day 3

Day 3: AU day (Bloodswap AU) Word count: 2544 Rating: Teens and Up Character(s): Mallek Adalov, Original Character, Diemen Xicali

AO3 link

A/N: This is a sequel to a entry I wrote for last year’s Mallek Week titled ‘Friend or Foe’ for a purple blood!Mallek and my OC, you can read it here.  CW: mentions of blood, injury, violence, and death.  (side note, the bold text are flashbacks scenes.)

Summary: Mallek smiles as he watches him, lost in his thoughts as he comes to a conclusion regarding the human that had been under his care for the last year...

You sit there on your couch, you feel a sense of content as you were always relaxed around these two. After all, you knew you didn’t have to put a front or a shield around them as opposed to the rest of your crew.

You can’t help but stare at them from the corner of your eyes. Zack was cleaning a nasty cut that Diemen got earlier after a fall, your friend was always durable but he wasn’t invincible. And of course, the human’s medical care always overtook everything and he insisted that he clean and wrap up the wound.

He was applying some kind of ointment that he made from a plant that grew far off in the outglut. As you know at least 68% of Alternia’s plantlife was lethal in one way or another from poisonous to literal troll-eating traps. But this plant secreted a fluid that had something Zack called ‘antiseptic’ properties and so he used one of his strange alien tools to combine the fluid with some sopor slime to make this special formula which was perfect for cuts and wounds.

It was great. But it stings like the acid rain that falls over Alternia or getting attacked by wasp lusii.

“Ah!” Diemen flinches when the other presses the cloth dipped in the solution against Diemen’s cut.

“Stop squirming, or I’ll have to start all over again.” He tells Diemen, as Zack carefully cleans the wound, the piece of cotton fabric was soaking up the dark crimson.

“You don’t gotta worry about it-!” He let out another yelp in pain. You can’t help but smile. Not that you were smiling at the sounds of Diemen’s pain but rather just happy…

You’re happy to be around them.

Things had been crazy since you met Zack last sweep.

That chance encounter where you saved him from those rival subjugglators. From that point on you were inseparable, what was supposed to be a few days turned to weeks, then months. He was something different, obviously being an alien had that glamour to it. All trolls were different too, but also similar at the same time, but Zack wasn’t a troll…

Everything about him was foreign, his appearance, his nature. There probably wasn’t another like him anywhere else on Alternia. He was a curious being to you, yeah he bled a candy red blood, but aside from that, he had many interesting qualities.

He was strong but fragile.

You knew that it would take little effort from someone of your build to crush him with their bare hands, and he knew that too, and yet… How many times did he throw himself into harm’s way to protect you or Diemen and a complete stranger? Even when the odds were stacked against him.

But you knew that his strength was beyond just the physical sense, he had the strength of heart. He was so compassionate, kind, fierce, brave. Even when he was scared, like genuinely terrified he was honest about it.

Sometimes when you look at him, you would honestly see like some fragile lost purrbeast. Those big yellow eyes filled with such pure innocence, he’s the kind of guy that would be an enemy even after they tried to kill him. Someone like him would never have lasted this long on Alternia without you. So you took some precautions when he had to venture outside…

Zack was sitting on the couch, and Mallek was knelt in front of him, on the ground beside him was a small makeup kit that he and many other subjugglators used for their face paint.  

He had carefully painted the unique pattern worn by him and members of his crew. Mallek had gotten some of the old clothes that he simply outgrew, a hoodie that originally has his sign but he graffitied it with various art and tags used by his gang, some purple jeans, and plain white trainers.

It wasn’t too big or Zack too tight, but it kinda hung off him in a cute way. He had also given him some purple gloves, and finally, a bandana that was gonna wrap around Zack’s face.

“Alright, just one last final detail…” Mallek says as he grabs a set of fake detailed horns, curved shaped and wielded to a band, that only had a strap on the end to tighten. He then carefully puts around Zack’s head and clicks the lock-in.

He pulls the hood over Zack’s head and voila!

“There... all done. Now, all we gotta do is get something to hide your face, and then you’re good to go.” Mallek smiles, admiring his handiwork, he grabs a mirror to let Zack see.

“Cool, I could definitely pass for a troll dressed as a clown.” Zack was impressed, it was perfect, between only being able to go outside at night, and most purplebloods always wearing this paint, he could pass as one of them.

“Yeah. But still the same rule. You stay right beside me, don’t leave my sight, or don’t go out alone.” Mallek was very clear as it was still risky for Zack to go out by himself at least with this clothing he’s covered up completely and if he should somehow bleed the red will be hidden.

“Okay. Makes sense, I won’t leave your side.” Zack nods as Mallek blushes faintly.

“R-right, let's cover your face up.” He looks around until his eyes land on the fresh purple fabric that was a custom order from a friend, it was worn by a few crew members and would wear it sometimes. He wraps it around the human’s face, tying a knot at the back.

That was a clever idea on your part, and so far now has caught on, you were careful when taking Zack outdoors. It was a pain and sometimes you thought it could be frustrating for him, but it was for his own good and he understood that too.

Because let’s be honest you know that on his own he would last about an hour or so. And that’s if he laid low and avoided others. You really don’t know what possessed you to keep him, after saving him and giving him a place to crash for a couple of days you could’ve easily let him go on his way. But no.

You told him he could stay for as long as he needed. Obviously, he was intimidated by you, but you couldn’t really blame him. Look at you, you stood a glorious 8ft tall, between your aggressive clothing, intimidating face paint, and the fact that you were armed to literal teeth. It was no wonder he was initially wary of you.

But he wasn’t afraid of you. More like he stared at you with awe and it was due to the fact that your appearance didn’t match your personality after all. You had been affectionately referred to by many who got to know you on a personal level as the most calm-headed, least murderous purpleblood.

You had always had control of the raging seas that inside of you, in fact, that’s what made you more dangerous. Controlled rage was more effective and wild, you know exactly how to inflict the right amount of pain and how to swiftly deal with your opponent.

Taking a life wasn’t something that you were familiar with.

But Zack… He wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Not to say that he couldn’t fight and that he couldn’t kill someone, especially with those freaky powers of his. It’s that he wouldn’t kill or even like to fight for that matter.

Those hands of his… They were made to help, to care for, loving hands that always soothed you and anyone else they touched.

Your hands… You’ve inflicted pain, they’ve been stained with blood, bruised from throwing punches You were no stranger to violence after all.

Zack was worried, it had been so long since Mallek left to deal with “business” as he called it. Of course, Zack knew that was code for his gang’s activity or dealing with a dispute with another gang. Normally when Mallek left he would come back in a couple of hours, with a few cuts and a hoodie stained with blood that wasn’t his own.

But it had been at least 6 hours since he left and he hadn't messaged in that time and he always checked in with Zack. He was so tempted to go out and look for him, but where would he look? Besides, it was dangerous to go out without his disguise but Zack wasn’t ready to waste time getting that all together.

He’s standing in front of the door, the only thing between him and the outside. His hand reached for the handle, it was a very foolish, dangerous move he was about to make, but he was gonna do it anyway. He couldn’t stand around and just do nothing. Suddenly he grips the handle and pulls it open, and waiting for him on the other side was Mallek!

He stood there, his clothing torn apart, stained by blood, his face was bloody and fresh with bruises and cuts, purple trickling down his lip. He looks like hell as Zack just stands there staring at him, the purpleblood just looks at him but then starts to sway his body, taking a single step as he then collapses onto Zack who manages to catch him. “Mallek! H-hey! Mallek?!” Zack cries out to him but it’s no use as he’s already passed out.

Zack somehow managed to get Mallek to the couch, thankfully he was still breathing, just unconscious. Thankfully he didn’t have any serious wounds, and he knows that he’ll be okay, he could heal from this. And yet, that didn’t ease his heart, he feels so helpless as Mallek lays there, so all you can do is just sit there, holding his hand tightly until he wakes up.

...

“I don’t like fighting, or hurting someone… But I get it. Here is your world, it’s kill or be killed, death and violence are the norms here.” Zack sighs, before looking over to Mallek.

“And you, every day you have to face death, from the drones to other trolls, the climate!” Mallek knows this all, of course, it wasn’t news to him after all, it was just the way of things.

“Yeah, this place is designed to make monsters… Not enough good people, or people living in fear of accepting it. Survival of the fittest and all that nonsense. But you don’t gotta worry about it… We’re all used to it, we were born in it.”

The human’s expression dampens, it bothers him how much Mallek was just okay with all this. “I’m sorry. But I can’t accept it. I wish I could do more… If there was more I could for you, and the others.”

Mallek just stares at him, he doesn’t say anything at first. He chuckles. “You don’t have to apologize. This has nothing to do with you, it wasn’t your fault our world is like this.”

“It’s very cute…” He smiles at Zack, gently touching his forehead. His action causes a reaction from Zack making his cheeks heat up, darkening with a shade of blush.

Maybe human beings as a whole were cute, but truthfully it was more so your own biased feelings towards him. But after that incident and then the conversation between you two all those months ago, you came to the decision to ensure that the ugliness of violence, bloodshed, and death would never reflect through his eyes. Though that was easier said than done, being the leader of a gang, and constantly fighting after subjugglators for territory and drone attacks.

You know that there were those who couldn’t be reasoned with, if they learned of Zack’s existence, he would be hunted for his blood color by various trolls for many gruesome purposes. And he was precious to you, important and you would protect him, along with all those who you cherished. No matter what.

“There, all done.” Zack finishes wrapping the bandages around Diemen’s arm, the shortest of the three examines with his arm before smiling at the human.

“Gee thanks.” Diemen spreads his fingers around, shaking his arm slightly.

“Try to be more careful in the future.” Zack instructs Diemen who is just rubbing his bandages a little, Zack then holds out his fist and Diemen responds appropriately as they bump fists.

Another grin spreads across your face. Diemen then runs off, something about getting some food and that he would be right back. And you know by the food he meant nothing but hot dogs. Now it’s just the two of you, and Zack then glances over to you and notices you smiling, and returns the expression. He then approaches you, and sits beside you on the couch, instinctively you pull him close, throwing your arm around him.

He closes his eyes, a warm smile. Since you were sure that Diemen was gone, and it was just the two of you, you then pull Zack up onto your lap, his arms wrap around your neck, his head against your chest. You enjoyed having him close to you, it was mutually comforting to the both of you, he had told you that he always felt safe like this, from that first meeting when you literally picked off the ground and carried him home with him.

“Are you okay? You’ve been really quiet.” He asks you, his voice was a little slow, peaceful even.

“I’m okay. Just thinking about stuff, no need to worry.” You reply back to him, speaking in a soft, hush tone.

“If you say so.” Zack responds, he was probably trying not to pry you think, but you know that he tends to worry.

“You know… The chances are that Diemen will probably get another random injury within the next few days right?” You make a joke at the expense of Diemen’s usual careless nature when it came to him getting minor injuries or just getting into trouble.

“Ha. Yeah… I figured as much.” Zack chuckles.

You look at him, giving him a little squeeze. “Yeah, but still I know it’s pointless to tell you not to, you always treat mine, Diemen, and some of the guys when we get injured whether from an accident or fighting some assholes. And that’s who you are.”

That was one of the many things that you loved about Zack. His kind nature, the way he cared for everyone, it was such a warm feeling, a light that welcomed everyone he interacted with. Maybe that was the reason you were so set on protecting him, driven by this need to keep him safe and ensure that while remains with you that no harm would come to him.

You got lost in your thoughts again, and you look down to see that Zack has fallen asleep on you. You can feel your face warm up with blush when he nuzzles against your chest. Seriously, this was adding more to your theory on the cuteness of humans, but honestly, it was more that you found him so cute. You smile, gently stroking his hair with your claws, laying back on the couch to get more comfortable.

[wasebasket]

Modelling Luka Shenanigans (OT4‚ Snippets & Fluff)

Adrien heard some jingle of keys. The boutique had been closed for a while and four of them were the only ones who had keys. He walked over to the door after putting his mug on the coffee table.

He smiled upon seeing the familiar black hair and blue eyes.

"Hi Luka." He said.

He welcomed him with a hug, putting his head on his chest. He was glad that no one here minded his touchiness. They even liked it to some extent.

"Let me have a shower first." Luka chuckled, one of his hands on his back. "I smell gross."

"You do, but not that much. Still, that was a lame excuse."

"Never getting enough of hugs, aren't we?" He answered back just as sweetly, messing his hair a little.

"Why ask when you know it?"

Unbeknownst to the boys, Marinette was exchanging looks with Kagami at the back.

"Welcome back. You know where the shower is." Kagami said, letting her smile be shown.

With that, Adrien and Luka parted. Adrien went back to take his mug with soup, drinking it up quickly. Drama could be unveiled anytime now. Must be prepared.

"What's with this atmosphere?" He asked, taking his instrument off his back and placing it on the ground gently. Something felt off.

"Remember Wednesday?"

He opened his mouth‚ but didn't say anything.

"I hope you didn't think we'd let you get away with that." f.ck context rights

He chuckled‚ shaking his head. "Never."

"The way to forgiveness is either pampering others or being a clown." she said amusedly. "And for tonight, we chose the latter. But I have mercy, you'll be a fashionable and aesthetic clown."

He blinked. "Will I be an actual clown?"

"No, no." She shook her head and waved her hands. "It's just... something unusual. Things you'd never really wear."

"Do I have the right to know what exactly I'll wear?"

Kagami was still pressing her lips together‚ trying to hold her laughter. She was the only one aside of Marinette who knew what he'll wear. Looking at her‚ Adrien felt like laughing too even if he didn't really get what was happening.

"Some good stuff." she gave him a face.

Oh no. Luka knew that devilish look. Her intentions weren't as cute as the way she looked.

"It's a punishment for you‚ Luka." she laughed. "But I'll benefit from that. I can't always be the one to give inspiration‚ hm?"

His eyes scanned the room nervously while scratching the back of his neck. His eyes caught Adrien‚ who was also looking at him. One smug kitten with his leg over a leg.

"He's the model." He asked in a questioning tone. "Why me?"

Adrien proceeded to protest but Marinette walked up to him‚ "It's YOUR punishment." she emphasized. She'd expect Luka to groan and try his best to avoid doing that or say that he had to practice or make new melodies.

"I hope you don't regret it."

Guess he'll be playing tough. She'd have her fun either way.

Marinette gripped a side of the hoodie and pulled him closer. "I'll enjoy each and every minute of it, Heartstring. Hope you'll do as well."

"Wait, we're all actually here to watch Luka model for your clothes?"

Marinette shrugged, "Obviously."

"Good luck, man." Adrien told him, sounding enthusiastic. "I'll be looking forward to it."

• • •

"I'll take photos of him." Marinette said‚ angling her camera. "They’ll be going straight into a locked folder on my desktop."

Kagami looked over at her. "I thought you'd keep it on ready for blackmailing him."

Adrien felt sorry for him. "That'd be too much."

"He's right. But I think we’d get our way just by mentioning the date of this day." Her grin widened.

"Are the clothes supposed to be a surprise for me too?" Adrien asked‚ looking at both of them with curious eyes. "Or can I see them?"

"Are you sure you can handle it?" Kagami replied to him with a question‚ sounding interested.

He stood there with a playful grin on his face. "Ladies‚ you have no idea how many awkward things I've worn throughout my entire modelling career. I don't like to be underestimated."

With that‚ Adrien walked into one of the rooms‚ following Marinette. His eyes widened at a few different designs standing there. They looked great... it was great that they’d be the only ones seeing him in these.

"Which one of them is going first?"

"Probably the goth one. He can have an easy start."

"Marinette‚ they all look great." Adrien admitted. "But here's the thing‚ I'm way more excited to see them on him."

"Couldn't relate more."

"The official Luka Appreciation Hours‚ I think." Kagami said‚ leading them all to grin even wider.

• • •

“Okay so... I guess I’ll be going to a room to get these on.”

"Relax‚ it's nothing we haven't seen before." Adrien said mischieviously.

"No‚ thanks." He mumbled as he held onto the clothes‚ a grin on his lips because he can’t help it. "But like... how bad could it be? I've gotten used to wear weird stuff for album concepts."

Marinette gave him a sassy face. "Not comparable to MDC's designs‚ hopefully?"

"Doubt it."

Adrien lifted his fist midway in the air in an attempt to lift his spirits up. “It doesn’t take too much to seduce us‚ so don’t tense up!” adrien is a very good boyfriend

• • •

"I didn't really know you made so many designs in your free time." Luka said while putting the white belt on. "Or are these for an official show? Don't get me wrong‚ I'd feel lucky to wear them either way."

"Gabriel brand doesn't really let me display designs like these. But it doesn't stop me from making them‚ since I have my own place." Marinette clicked a makeup kit open. "Gender neutral fashion is underrated. And you'll be my illegal model tonight here." she added with a shameless smirk on her face.

"How did you find the time to make them?" Luka asked. He knew that she had time management skills that only God knew the secret to, but it was confusing to not only him, but to Adrien and Kagami as well.

"Couldn't help with the increase in coffee intake and staying awake due to inspiration." she giggled.

She then told him to close his eyes. Then‚ to keep his mouth slightly open while she painted his lips. He complied to her orders.

After he was completely dressed up in Marinette’s imagined attire‚ he was finally looking at himself in the mirror. Wow. It was mainly Juleka who rocked this aesthetic. He only realized it now that he should wear more goth stuff. The design looked better on him than he thought it would.

On his face‚ there was a dark eye makeup and his lips were a dark shade of red. Not to forget that thick eyeliner. I think my inner narcissist is out‚ he thought to himself.

"Pardon me. If you're done eyef*cking yourself..." Marinette said‚ prompting him to get out of the room.

Luka was finally back and to the front of the camera. So it felt different‚ even with only them around.

"This is a good start." Adrien commented. "And a warm-up."

"Am I really going to pose?" He looked over at Marinette.

"Of course you will. You didn't dress up for nothing."

"God‚" Adrien said‚ his eyes inspecting Luka’s makeup up close. "eyeliner must've been invented for you."

They looked at each other for a bit until Marinette chimed in. "Don't ruin his lipstick‚ Adrien."

“Excuse me- where’s the fun in this?” 

• • •

“Why does he look like an anime character with this theme?” Kagami voiced her opinion outloud‚ looking away from Luka’s orange-heavy attire.

“He could be part-timing in an anime universe and in this one.” Adrien commented. “Marinette says he keeps disappearing and reappearing out of blue ever since they first met.”

“Wonder which universe is he in.”

Marinette joined their discussion. “And he’s probably an outrageous shota in that universe. I hope he’s also short as hell.” 

“I regret starting this conversation.” she laughed‚ covering her face.

“No wonder why I was a weeb‚ huh?”

• • •

"Marinette- Is... Is this transparent?"

"Just thin fabric." She said. "I told you we're going to have our fun."

“I’m sorry man‚” Adrien looked at Luka‚ not even bothering to hide his grin. “It looked like it had a white undershirt or something on the mannequin..!”

• • •

"And here goes my asian drama cover shooting trial." Marinette said. “Dragon prince and the girl with the dragon themed pillow.”

It helped that Kagami was already wearing a red sweater‚ complimenting the colors of the one-sided makeup on Luka’s left eye.

“Luka‚ a cocky grin would rock. Gami‚ I’ll have you looking at him like you just learnt that Jagged Stone is his dad.”

Yes‚ that’s still a good joke between them.

“Imagine uploading this on YouTube like an episode cut with an atrocious title.” Adrien said while looking at them posing as Marinette told them to.

“The dragon prince in my girlfriend’s imagination came alive” Kagami changed her tone‚ imitating a narrator.

Luka shut his eyes‚ laughing. “I have to babysit this thousand years old dragon prince!?”

• • •

"I really want to wear some of these when I'm going out. The jeans and the accessories." Luka exclaimed‚ chugging the water in his glass down. He then counted to three in his mind.

"NO." The other three said in unison.

He wasn't the least bit of surprised with their reaction. "Jealous much?" He raised his eyebrows playfully.

They weren't happy to be exposed at all. Marinette stopped. "Wait. You don't even like to wear jeans..?" she said‚ sounding amused.

"I guess change is good once in a while."

"I'm taking that the ‘punishment’” Adrien made quotation marks with his fingers‚ “taught you nothing?" He looked at him in disbelief. "Did you feel too clothed?"

"Don't give me ideas." Marinette warned him.

"Please tell us what happened on Wednesday won't ever happen again‚ honest." Kagami said‚ trying to sound hopeful.

"It won't."

That night was a tragicomedy. So it relieved them to know that Luka will do his best for a repetition to not follow. But Adrien's and the girls' faces dropped a few seconds later.

"I'll do something even worse." 

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Off Day: Eleven

Bucky leaned on the bathroom door watching you apply makeup to your face, pulling seemingly endless pallets, brushes, and bottles from your bag. “Why’s your foundation not match your face?” he asked.

“Because I’m not gonna go out and kill the Batman later.”

“Huh?”

“If your makeup stops at your neck, you look like a party clown.”

Bucky smiles a little and watched you work for a second and nodded, “You never used to wear makeup,” he mused.

“I never used to have money,” you say shrugging, pouting at him in the mirror. Bucky nods, “How does that work?”

“Does what work?” you ask, starting to blend things in properly.

“Do you get a check from the store?”

You shrug and smile a little, “Theoretically. But. Jack and Judy are paying for the groceries in the house. Kaity won’t let me pay rent. So, like... I just take enough to buy gas and cat food. Everything else I take out of my savings.”

Bucky shook his head, “Baby,” he scolded.

“What?” you ask, quirking an eyebrow.

“When’s the last time you bought yourself something fun?”

“I buy art supplies and makeup all the time. Online shopping is nice. I can buy pretty things in my underwear.”

Bucky tutted and made a mental note to buy you a little something. Still. He couldn’t be upset. You had his hoodie on and your panties, nothing else. It was a nice view. It was why he’d come to lean on the doorframe. He stayed because he was a little fascinated. Like watching you draw on his arm with sharpies, it was a miracle of artistic skill watching you play with contrasts and colors. If he hadn’t watched you do it, he wouldn’t believe it. You look like an almost totally different person.

When you finished your makeup, he smirked, “How mad would you be if I dragged you back to bed and ruined all that?” he asked.

“Pretty mad. I’d be keeping Kaity waiting,” you answer, smiling just a little as you put things back in your bag.

Bucky winces internally, feeling guilty. For just a minute, he’d forgotten. You were his and didn’t have responsibilities. It wasn’t Christmas and Kaity wasn’t dying. You weren’t putting makeup on like you were getting ready for battle. Armor to protect you from the reality that nothing was ever going to feel right again. 

“Are you ready to go home?” he asked.

“No,” you answer, “But. I need to. I just... I don’t know if I can handle this.”

“Do you want me to stay?” he asked.

You shake your head, “No. I just... I just need to suck it up. It’s not. There’s not anything I can do.”

He nods and wraps his arms around you slowly, “I’ll come by tonight,” he murmurs, “Put something warm in your belly and put you to sleep.” He kisses your neck and shoves his hand in your hoodie pocket.

“Okay,” you murmur, focusing on putting things away to give you time to breathe. 

“Maybe make you come two or three times,” he teased, kissing the spot on your neck that he learned made you shiver, chuckling when you did. “That never gets old,” he rumbled tightening his arms around you.

“Bucky-” you protest weakly

He grins at you in the mirror, “What is it, doll?” he teased, taking his hands out of your pocket to rest them on your hips.

You whimper and he stops moving, not letting you go but not pressing any further. “Baby girl,” he said gently, “Talk to me. What do you need?”

“I need to go home. I’m sorry I-” you take a breath and let it out slowly, “They’re waiting and if it’s another bad day, they’re gonna need me.” You can’t meet his eyes expecting him to be mad and Bucky feels like an asshole. “Let me put on some decent clothes and I’ll take ya home,” he said softly, “And then tonight I’ll come keep ya company... can’t promise to behave. But I’ll be there.”

You half turn to look up at him, all big sweet eyes and a soft smile and he kisses the tip of your nose. “Promise?” you ask.

“Promise,” he answers softly, cuddling you for a second before going to get some jeans and a clean hoodie to replace the one you’d stolen.

He’d never had a girl that asked so little of him. All you wanted was his time. Some attention. A little TLC from time to time. And he felt, strange. It felt like he wasn’t doing enough by not buying you gifts and making extravagant (for him) gestures. Char had been like a magpie. She liked her shiny shit. She liked to be fawned over. Treated like a princess. He desperately wanted to treat you that way. You deserved it. But as far as he could tell, you didn’t wear much jewelry and you worked in a whole store full of books if you wanted books. He didn’t know dick about art supplies of jewelry. And he felt silly buying cat toys. What did you get somebody who’d learned to get by on as little as possible? For Christmas, well. He didn’t know if you’d like it but. It was the only thing her could think of. 

He pulled it out of the closet and set it on the bed, thankful the girls had done the wrapping for him. It looked pretty. All green paper and silver ribbon. Glitter. “Fucking glitter” he groused, brushing it off his sleeve. The inside of his closet looked like a titty bar exploded. 

You pause in the doorway, pulling leggings on, “What’s that?” you ask, cocking your head. “Santa must have figured out where you were,” he said grinning.

“Bucky,” you protest, “I told you not to.”

“And I didn’t listen,” he said simply. “Come on, open it,” he encouraged, “I looked everywhere for it.”

You look up at him and smile, kissing his jaw before sitting next to the box, starting to open it carefully.

“C’mon, we’re not gonna save the paper!” he teased.

“I’m trying not to get glitter on your bed!”

“Doll, there’s been stripper dust on my sheet before. It’s fine.”

You snort and tear the paper off, opening the box carefully, “Bucky,” you gasp softly, “This is too much!”

“No it’s not,” he said grinning as you carefully inspected the new tattoo kit. “I figured if you wanted you could start doing them again. I got bored the other day and looked through the Instagram you post your art on... It was a few years ago and you were learning sure, but you did pretty good tattoos.”

“I dunno, Bucky,” you say hesitating, “It’s really nice but-”

“No buts,” he said, kissing you softly, “I just wanted you to have it if you wanted it.”

“Thank you,” you murmur, blushing as you kiss his cheek.

“Anything for you, doll,” he murmurs, “Honestly I didn’t know what to get for you at all but, then you kept doing a bunch of pretty artwork on my arms and so I thought I’d do this.”

“Even though I told you not to,” you pout.

“Sorry doll,” he chuckled, “I took enough orders in the army. Unless you’re naked I’m probably not gonna let you boss me around.”

“I don’t wanna boss you around,” you protest, “I just knew I wouldn’t have time to go get you what I wanted to get you.”

“Whatever that was, darlin’,” he drawled, kissing you slowly, “It wouldn’t have compared to last night.” Your cheeks burn and he smiles, “That was a dream come true. Literally. Thinking about you was the only thing that got me through basic. And both deployments.” He tugs you into his lap and kisses your head, “I always had a picture in my head of what it’d be like if I saw you again. I’d know exactly what to say. I’d sweep you off your feet and do the whole nine yards... Instead I didn’t even recognize you.”

“I mean, Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton look a like competition to a drag queen, so I can’t really blame you. A new nose, some new hair, and sometimes probably made it a little difficult,” you tell him.

“A new nose?” Bucky asked.

You shrug, “Got my shit busted enough times it needed done,” you tell him.

“I couldn’t even tell,” he said.

“Well, no,” you answer, standing up to get your things around, “That was the point. I just had them get as close to the original as possible.”

“Who busted up your face?” he asked following you.

“Parents a couple times. The last time, it was a guy I’d just started dating,” you don’t look at him, pretending to be preoccupied with your coat. Bucky does his best to breathe. To stay calm. He’s very, very aware of how fragile your emotional state is and how likely you are to jump to the worst conclusion if he looks angry but inside, he wants to reach through time and beat the living shit out of your dad for it. And find the guy that hurt you and snap is legs off. 

“Y/N,” he said gently, tilting your chin up, “I love you.” It’s all he can think of to say. The best way to remind you that you’re safe. 

“I love you too,” you tell him, turning your head slightly to kiss the palm that’s cupping your cheek.

_________

Bucky walks you into the house. It’s quiet but for A Christmas Story playing on the TV and Jack and Judy quietly eating breakfast. You sigh and let Bucky help you out of your coat before padding into the kitchen. This is going to be a long day. It feels like a wake. A really fucking lame wake. The kind of thing Kaity hates.

Bucky accepts hugs and Merry Christmases after you get yours and watches helplessly as you pad into the bedroom to say hello to Kaity.

Judy hands him a mug of coffee, “How was your party?” she asked. “Fine,” he said, “We had a drink and I took her home with me. Watched some movies.”

“No mistletoe?” she teases, handing him a plate to go with his mug.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” he said blushing.

“You’re a good boy, Bucky.”

“Shh,” he hisses, “Don’t say that too loud. You’ll ruin my rep as a drug king pin.”

Jack chuckles, “Son,” he said, “Anyone who believes that is an idiot. Your truck is real nice but it ain’t that nice.”

_________

“Hey, Kaitykat,” you murmur, leaning over to kiss her head, “Merry Christmas.”

She opened her eyes a little and smiled, “You smell like boy.”

“Well I mean. I slept with one and stole his hoodie so, that’d probably do it.” you tell her, smiling a little and curling up on the bed next to her to watch Muppets.

“Slut,” she teased, tugging a hoodie string, “Did he at least go down on you.”

“Kaity-” you start blushing.

“So no,” she chuckled, tucking hair behind your ear. “But did he take good care of you?” she pressed, looking anxious.

You nod, “Yeah,” you tell her, “He did.”

“You used a condom right? I mean. If he knocks you up I’m not going to have any fun making fun of you while you panic taking the test.”

“You’re such an asshole,” you giggle.

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“You know I do, Cat-cat.”

She smiled a little and laced her fingers through yours, “Do you love him,” she asked, laying her head on your shoulder.

“Yeah.”

“Good,” she murmured. For a long moment, Kaity’s quiet, watching Michael Cain find redemption. Trying to gather the strength to go sit out in the living room. “Promise me something?” she asked seriously.

“What?” you answer.

“When he does knock you up, name it after me.” She grins at you and you groan.

“Goddamnit Kaity.”

“What,” she pouts, “You’ll make cute babies.”

“He probably doesn’t even want kids, Kaity. And I don’t think I do either honestly.”

“Why?” she asked, letting you help her into her chair.

“Because,” you answer, kissing her head, “I don’t want to turn into my mother.”

Kaity winces but lets the matter drop. For now. Letting you wheel her out to the kitchen for something to eat. She’s thankful for the pain medicine that makes this possible. Thankful you’re here. That she can watch Bucky fuss over you fire hand. Coffee. Pastry. Anything he can coax into you. She meets her mother’s eye across the table and they nod. Thankful Bucky realizes that you’re losing weight and shouldn’t be. 

Bucky lets you walk him to the door and steals a kiss goodbye. A lingering kiss that makes you sigh, “Be a good girl?” he murmurs, kissing the tip of your nose.

“Yes, sir,” you answer, rolling your eyes. Bucky chuckles and raises an eyebrow, “Careful with that, darlin’. Especially with those pretty red lips.” You blush and he kisses your nose again, “I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you answer, kissing his jaw before he slips out the door into the cold.

Tags: @lancsnerd @stevieang @thorfanficwriter @blameitonthecauseway @etherealwaifgoddess @wellfucksorrymum

[kweebtrash]

Love is (Not) Easy

Messy Chapter 11

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Smut, 

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: alcohol, a smidge of ptsd, mentions of anxiety attacks/panicking

Features: daddy/mommy kink, rope bondage, heavy teasing, some hair pulling, a little bit of deep throating, panty gag, sex toys, a little bit of masturbation/watching someone masturbate, rough sex, thigh high kink, thigh fucking, cumshot, protected and unprotected sex, car sex,

Word Count: 14k

A/N: Johnny and Eri get into a bunch of positions in this one sooo....i hope it comes out clear enough where they’re situated. Try not to send asks with spoilers guys! I want to give people the chance to catch up! also this one is shorter than usual so let me know if you have some feedback.

Messy Masterlist   Buy me a Ko-Fi    Other Stories

Johnnys POV

It was the same bar and club that I performed at surprisingly enough. I knew this place like the back of my hand and it was packed as all hell. I wondered if it was because Eri's band was drawing the crowd or if it was because of the holiday. Either way I was excited to see them perform but for whatever reason I couldn't seem to find them anywhere. I even had Quinn and Jae look with no luck. We had been here for two hours, suffering through terrible bands and trying to be a little less sober. It was nearing the allowed time that Eri was set to play and I should have seen them on stage by now. They were still nowhere to be found. All I saw were some roadies switching out equipment and a dude with dreads do a mic check. That was it.

I finished my watered down drink and nudged Jae, telling him that we should start moving to the front. The crowd was starting to file against the stage and i didnt want to be stuck in the back. I adjusted my snapback and pulled up my sleeves. "You guys ready?" Neither of them had been to a metal show before and I was stuck being in charge. Quinn held onto Jae for dear life, looking around like a deer in headlights. I especially didn't want them getting lost in the crowd given how small they were and the potential level of rowdiness that was to come. "Alright, hold onto me and just shove through. Use your elbows, got it?"

"Are we fucking going to war?" Jae asked.

I sighed. "Not until you get into the pit."

"Like the mosh pit?!" Quinn squeaked.

"Don't worry. I won't let you get tossed in. Cmon, follow me."

Quinn held onto the back of my shirt, staying safely between Jae and I as I started shoving my way through the crowd. There were still some gaps in between the crowd and I was able to get through to the front, not exactly against the stage but it was good enough to see things clearly. I saw a drummer start positioning himself behind the kit. The show seemed like it was about to start and I couldn't help but feel ecstatic. A bassist and the guy with the dreads came next, holding their guitars. Then I finally saw them. They looked incredibly badass even though their outfit was simple. It was a black mini skirt and an oversized white button up with a black tie. That was paired with delicious black thigh highs and scruffed up combat boots that looked like they had seen better days. Their hair was still a gorgeous mane of curls and one side was partially braided to give it a faux undercut look. Their makeup was a smokey purple with dark lipstick that accentuated how full their lips were. I swallowed hard and shifted a bit. I couldn't help it, they just looked so damn hot.

I covered my mouth so no one could see how badly I was biting my lip as I watched their every move. Their hands delicately wrapped around a shot glass that had been placed on their amp and tossed back the brown liquid. It was second nature to Eri and I had seen them do it dozens of times but in this moment it was utterly sensual. The tuned their guitar, caressing the strings and tuning keys. They had a natural born stage presence that was so powerful and commanding that it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I thought about getting their attention but I didn't want to seem too desperate. I sat back and decided to watch instead. Eri had the talent to carry their band so I knew it wouldn't be as bad as the others. As dreads guy introduced their band, Eri went to work checking their amp and cords. As they bent over to make sure the settings of the amp were where they wanted them to be, I could see the tops of their thigh highs. My stomach lurched and i felt like a teenager with how pathetically horny i was acting. I tried to shake it out of my body and take some deep breaths to calm myself. I felt like an idiot and was ready to kick myself. The beginnings of "I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance started, taking me back to my middle school days. All the tension in my body dissolved and I actually chuckled a bit. This really was emo night. I expected the guy with the dreads to start singing since he was in front of the center mic but Eri was the one that opened their mouth. 

Jae, Quinn, and I exchanged looks as we were shocked to hear a slightly husky and gritty voice instead of something more feminine. Quinn had a bright smile on their face, cheering loudly and being so proud of Eri. Even though I was usually irritated by Quinn and we were always fighting, I appreciated that they loved Eri as much as I did. Eri's fingers smoothly flowed over the guitar strings and though they had let me hear them play before, nothing compared to the live show. The song ended and Eri smiled, looking above the crowd and towards the back wall. It was most likely to ease some sort of stage fright or anxiety.

"Who's ready to tell this year to fuck off?!" They said, getting a large response of cheers and claps. "I know for goddamn sure I am. I've been through so much shit it's not even funny. So why doesn't everyone get a shot, toss it back, and give me a big fuck you!" There was a round of 'fuck yous' and people downing their drinks. Eri looked towards the bar and held up three fingers to signal an order while the other guitarist took over getting the hype up. In the meantime, Eri set their guitar on its stand and took off their tie and shirt, tossing it to the side and revealing a tight leather vest that definitely accentuated their full chest. I was almost back to being a drooling mess until I heard a few dozen whistles from the men in the crowd. My irritation skyrocketed as i didnt want other men ogling them but I had to remind myself that this was just for the show and nothing more.

A scantily clad bartender made her way onto the stage holding a tray of three shots. Eri tossed two back and with some incentive from the crowd, set the last glass between the bartenders tits. The bartender camped it up, shimmying just a bit as Eri wrapped their mouth around the rim and pulled it out, swallowing the liquor. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and furrowed my brows as I was starting to get pissed off now. They're just showing off, Johnny. It's just for the show. I sighed deeply, trying to get my feelings in check. The next song started with an eccentric  intro about Pennywise the Clown which I'd never heard before. Their voice started softly before switching to a guttural scream that made me do a complete 180. "Holy shit." I whispered.

Quinn had a look of utter terror on their face while Jae leaned over to me, getting closer to my ear. "Good job dating the spawn of Satan!"

"They're not the spawn of satan." I glared at him. "I think it's cool."

"It's a little weird to hear girls doing it. I know usually guys do this type of music."

"Yeah, well they're on pitch and sound great so shut up." Just then a gap appeared in the front of the stage as someone made their way back through the crowd and I took the opportunity to drag Quinn and Jae to fill the space. I wanted to get Eri's attention then and gave them a small wave. Their eyes widened so big I almost thought they were going to pop out of their head. I gave them a smile, trying to reassure them but they only seemed to get more scared which made their voice waver. Just as the song ended they grabbed the other lead singer and ran off to the side of the stage. I wondered what was wrong and leaned forward, trying to see if I could spot them. They seemed to be speaking frantically but I couldn't hear anything over the roar of the crowd. Hopefully it wasn't anything too bad

--

Eri's POV

"André, André, André, i'm freaking the fuck out! What am I supposed to do?!"

"What's wrong?! You were doing great out there! You sounded awesome. Have you been practicing your screams?"

"Screw that! The guy I've been fucking for months is here along with my best friend and their boyfriend. I'm going to fucking choke!!" My anxiety was taking over big time and I couldn't grasp the fact that people I knew and loved were actually watching me perform. I never invited people to see me for this reason. I would tense up, my throat would close, and the pressure of impressing them would be the only thing I could think about. It gave me one hell of an anxiety attack.

"Ok, so? Be happy that they came to see you! That means they're proud of you and excited to see your talent!" He tried to reassure me.

"Nonono, you don't understand. I can't do this. I'm gonna freak out. I'm like way too nervous. I can't breathe!"

André grabbed onto my shoulders tightly. "Eri, look at me. You are a bad bitch. A bad slutty bitch with talent that blows people's minds. You have performed in front of small crowds and big crowds. You put your heart and soul into it. You're in music journalism because you wanted to prove to every man that you interview that you know exactly what you were talking about and break through that glass ceiling. I want you to go out there and fucking shred like your life depended on it. Make that dude want to rip off your clothes and fuck you senseless. Make everyone see how much of a bad ass you are. You. Can. Do. This. Repeat after me, I'm a slutty bad bitch."

I swallowed hard and shook out my hands, trying to get rid of my nerves. "I-i-i'm a slutty bad bitch."

"And i'm going to go out there and make every man, woman, and everyone in between want me."

"A-and I'm gonna make every m-m-man, woman, and everyone in between w-wa-want me."

"And that dude you've been fucking is going to go insane when he sees what you can really do."

"And that dude-"

"No, hun-" He interrupted. "Don't repeat that part. Look, how about we switch the line up a bit? Then we can pick a song that you feel more confident in."

"Ok, w-what song do you think we should do?" I said, still unsure.

"How about Closer? Your voice sounds sexy and you can let me handle the guitar. What do you think?"

I nodded and whimpered, still feeling queasy. We stepped back onto the stage and André told the other band members about the song change. A regular at the club was against the stage, holding a drink out to me and I took it graciously, downing it in seconds. I needed all the help I could get right now. I had to fake my comfort so i could make it until the end of the set, when the time would wind down and I could scream 'Happy New Year' and let the music fade away. I tried my best not to look down at Johnny, Quinn, or Jae. I needed to keep the alcohol in my stomach instead of all over the crowd. 

The synthy bass thrummed beneath my feet as I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Closer was the epitome of the classic "let's fuck right now" song and with harder female vocals it made me feel like the worlds greatest sex symbol. André was right. I was a bad slutty bitch. My friends were in the crowd and though I was anxious that I would disappoint them I was also putting forth more effort to impress them. I had to believe that I was as talented and great as André said, no matter how difficult or low my self confidence was. It was time to continue one hell of a show and feel alive.

I caressed myself, threw my hair back, wiggled my hips, and spun around as I sung about fucking like an animal. A smile was slapped across my face and I felt my entire body ignite with excitement. I even got a bit of courage to get on my knees in front of Johnny and sing to him. He gripped my neck and crashed our lips together during the rhythmic break and it felt like I never wanted to come up for air. I had to bow out when my next verse was going to start but he kept me close for a second more to growl "Mine" in my ear.

I shoved him away and stuck out my tongue, giving him sass in return. It was hot the way he wanted to take control but this was my fucking night. When the song finished I heard a male voice in the back yell, "What else can you do with that tongue?!"

I squinted my eyes against the spotlight and looked out to find the voice but all I could do was smirk. "What else can I do with my tongue?" I panted as I was a bit out of breath. "Make your girl cum better than you ever could."

The crowd whooped and hollered at my diss and André signaled for my attention. It was almost time for the countdown. There was one more song we had to play and then we could say goodbye to this year. I set the microphone back on the stand and picked up my guitar again. It was time to party hard. I gave it my last bit of energy as André and I sung together, getting the crowd to start a mosh pit and make the floor vibrate. The last few moments of the song I abandoned my responsibilities and jumped down from the stage joining everyone in the riot like crashing and pushing until it was announced that there was 30 seconds left of the year. I made my way over to Johnny, Jae, and Quinn, giving my best friend a tight squeeze and an awkward high five to Jae.

Johnny wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed me flush against him though I was a sweaty mess that smelled of liquor. I set my arms on his shoulders as ten faded into nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two-

My drummer crashed the symbols and made a big drumroll as everyone screamed in delight. I couldn't scream though. I was lost in the moment of Johnny dipping me, like an old school love story, and covering me in the best kiss he had ever given me. It felt like time had slowed, people had frozen, and all that was left was me and him, facing the world together like we had been; through death, abuse, violence, emotional pain, mental anguish, and longing feelings to be loved. It was what had brought us together, this pain. And while we were trying desperately to be better people it was harder to say than to do. But we were right here. I couldn't hear any words that were said. This moment was right where I wanted to be and I would have given my soul to remain here, frozen in time.

Johnny pulled away and lifted me up, my mind still a little foggy. He kept his body lowered to stay close to me and held my hand in his, positioning us like we were dancing. "You're the most amazing woman I've ever met, Eri. Er….person, sorry."

I shook my head. "I don't care, it's fine. Just stay with me. Come home with me and stay in my bed. I want to have fun tonight. We need to kick off this year with a bang….literally." I giggled.

"You need to sober up and shower. You smell terrible, just so you know." He laughed.

"I know! I know! 30 minutes up there in the spotlight and I sweat like a whore in church! I gotta help the guys load the van up though so it may take me awhile to finish up. I'll text you when I'm done, yeah?"

He nodded and slowly turned us like we were slow dancing, making me smile at his goofy antics. Metal songs were playing over the speakers and he wanted to dance with me like I was Cinderella. I tapped his shoulder and smiled. "Let me go, prince charming. I gotta get moving ok?"

He gave me a final kiss before sadly letting me go. "Hurry back, Eri!"

--

Johnny's POV

I felt so many things when we kissed at the bar and I had no idea why. Maybe it was my body's way of telling me that I needed to finally confess to them. I was still so damn scared to do so. A real relationship. One without getting hit everyday or not consenting to things I didn't want to do. One where I was genuinely happy. The last time I felt happy was a month ago when I visited my mom but I had never been happy with someone who wasn’t family. Eri made me happy. Eri made my heart do unimaginable and completely questionable things. Eri was...I think Eri is the love of my life. I didn't need any deep realizations right now. I just wanted to have fun. We were going to let go. But maybe...maybe I was closer to revealing my true feelings than I thought.

I took and deep breath and knocked on Eri's bedroom door and they opened it, looking much more comfy in their sweats rather than their on stage get up. They stood on their tiptoes to kiss me which always made me smile. "You chilled out a bit?"

"Yeah when you sweat your ass off loading up a truck full of gear in a winter coat and boots it makes the alcohol fade real fast. Come on in. I've got a surprise for you."

"A surprise? What the hell for?" I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me. Eri guided me to their desk chair and sat me down.

"I want to do something a little different tonight."

"You mean...fucking wise?" Eri thinking of things to try in bed always meant trouble for me.

They bit their lip and nodded. "Yeah, do you want to try it out?"

"Depends on what the hell you're scheming." I said skeptically.

"I promise you'll like it! I won't steer you wrong." They went over to their bed and pulled something out from under their pillow. When I saw what it was my whole body tensed.

"Eri, what the hell are you doing?"

"You tied me up last time. It's only fair that I get to do the same to you." They stepped closer with the bit of cotton rope in their hands which made me scoot the chair back.

"Ye-yeah but that was different. Completely different. I don't know if I'd like that!" I said nervously. Being tied up meant I wouldn't be in control which meant I was instantly nervous and unprepared. My body was already beginning to sweat as my heart raced. Eri crept closer and set their finger under my chin to tilt my head up.

"Cmon Johnny. New year, new kinks. We should see if you like something new." They smirked.

"No way! I'm good. Nothing new. I'm perfectly fine the way I am!"

They slipped behind me and rubbed their hands all over my chest and down to my stomach, planting kisses wherever they wanted to on my neck. "Pleaseeeeee," they whined. "I just wanna have some fun. I have so much planned for us."

"Then why do I have to be tied up?!"

"Because you wouldn't be a good boy if you weren't. You're not very patient when I tease you."

"Well maybe you shouldn't tease me then." I grunted.

"Just play along and I promise you'll love every minute of it." They landed a particularly sharp nip to my neck, making me flinch away. I still didn't want to be tied up but I knew they wouldn't stop whining if I did.

"Fine! But what's that thingy I say to make you stop if I don't want it anymore?"

They giggled and pulled my hands behind the back of the chair, beginning to tie them. "A safe word. And you can say guitar for me to stop."

Guitar? That sounded so stupid. But whatever. I would just play along for now. I tried to get out of the ties but they held firm. I swallowed hard and instantly started to panic. I looked up at Eri as they stepped in front of me. "W-wait Eri, I don't- Gui-"

I watched as they pulled their sweats off and suddenly I couldn't remember what I was even worried about. I feasted my eyes on a deep blue lingerie set, complete with a garter belt and see through thigh highs. My mouth went completely dry as the blood in my brain rushed south.

"Do you like it? I got it in blue since it's your favorite color and it was on clearance." They said, happy at their financial victory. "You're not saying anything…"

"U-uh…" How could I when they looked like that? Incredible, tantalizing, and unbelievably sexy. I tried to lurch myself forward to feel every inch of their warm skin but snapped back into the chair as my tied hands kept me immobile. So that's why they did it...sneaky little shit.

Eri set their hands on top of my thighs and leaned forward. "Johnny, do you like it or not?"

"U-um...y-yes. Yeah. Good." I managed to say in my lust filled haze. They straddled my hips and  sunk down onto my lap.

"I'm glad. Do you want to touch my thighs?"

"Absolutely. Please, Eri." I had no shame in begging for that. I wanted their thighs, hips, and ass in my hands and against my lips.

"Nope. Nooootttt yet. You have to prove you'll be good boy " I tossed my head back with a frustrated groan. Why couldn't they just let me touch them?!

"What the fuck do you mean I have to prove I'm good?! You want me to call you mommy or something?!"

They lowered their gaze and gave me a predatory smirk. "That could work."

My eyes widened and I tried to release my hands again. "Eri I'm serious!

"So am I." They pressed their lips against mine, wrapping their arms around my neck, making our chests flush together. Why the hell were they such a good kisser? I was whipped for them and hated every bit of it.

"Hmm, let me-" I tried to say in between moments of our tongues clashing. "Go-"

"Tsk tsk tsk Johnny," They wrapped their tiny hand around my neck and pressed gently against my Adam's apple. "We really have to work on your impatience." They started grinding their hips against my lap creating that friction that drove me wild. I swallowed hard, feeling the pressure of their hand still against me, and squeezed my eyes shut. I had to think of a plan to get free but the mesh rubbing against the roughness of my jeans was terribly distracting. I bucked my hips upwards, wanting to gain more traction and feel their wetness through the fabric but they forced their weight down onto my thighs so I couldn't use them as leverage. "You're such a cute little prince when your frustrated."

"I'm not a goddamn prince." I tried to say steadily but their thumb pressed harder into my throat. I was already starting to feel my cock stir and hated being trapped in my pants.

"Oh yes you are." Eri laid a tender kiss on my lips. "Just like I'm your princess, you're my prince. And I could be your mommy just as well as you can be my daddy."

"Cut it out." I growled. "It's weird." I ground my teeth together as they forced their weight down again and rubbed against me. Jesus, this was driving me crazy.

"It's the same principle, Johnathan. Don't be so sexist." They chuckled and finally removed themselves off me. "You'll learn soon enough." They disappeared behind me and I was still uneasy about what the hell they were going to do. Whips and chains were definitely out of the question.

"Eri! What are you doing?!" I tried to wiggle the chair around to see what they were up to but they returned shortly after. They were silent this time as they sunk down to their knees between my legs and unzipped my pants. They pulled them down and I lifted my hips up to help them, grateful that I was going to get more attention. They pulled off my sneakers and the rest of my pants and boxers, letting me free.

"Don't make a sound ok?" My eyes were glued to their lips as they set my cock in their mouth, slowly sucking on the head and rubbing their thumb against the underside. I sighed contently and relaxed against the chair. The rope didn't bother me so much now as I was much more intrigued by the tingling pleasure. They looked up at me, brown eyes full of mock innocence and wanting of praise. They looked so damn cute with their mouth full.

"Keep going...it's so good." I exhaled in a choppy breath. I was getting harder by the second and wanted them to take more of me in but I knew I hurt them pretty bad last time I used so much force. But nothing was better than having that warm wet heat of a tongue and tightness of a throat wrapped around me. My stomach was tightening a little as all the attention to the head of my cock was starting to make me too sensitive. "B-babe um, b-back off for a- hhoooollly fuck!!"

I felt it then, my cock completely disappearing down their throat in one fell suck. What the hell? They had never done that before! They popped off me and smiled. "Didn't I tell you to be quiet?"

"How can I be quiet when you just did...that!!" I yelled. "How? What? When?" I was so confused but turned on beyond belief.

They giggled and set their head on my thigh as a single finger danced around my slit. "I forgot numbing spray was a thing."

"Numb what??"

"Numbing spray. You spray it and it numbs your throat and helps your gag reflex so I can take down more of you."

"God bless America. Fucking do it again Eri."

"Ask Mommy nicely."

"Ugh! Fine!" I grit my teeth and glared at them. "Do it again...please." They looked at me, waiting. "Mommy."

That seemed to satisfy them enough and the next moment I was plunging my cock down their throat. It took my breath away and I tried to be absolutely quiet for fear of them stopping. I wanted to keep their head in place, wanted to fuck their face senseless, but these goddamn ties were stopping me. I hated them and wanted them off now. 

My toes gripped against the legs of the chair and I sunk my hips a little lower, trying to angle myself to get a few thrusts in. "Baby," I cooed. Wait, fuck, they would probably want me to say that stupid word. I sighed internally and cleared my throat. "Mommy?"

Their eyes shot up to meet mine again and their sucking stopped. "Hm?" They hummed around me.

"Could you please untie me? Please? I need to touch you."

"No, you want to face fuck me." They said as they released themself from me again. Goddammit. "You're not allowed to." They kissed my tip and licked down my shaft. "But I promise if you behave you can be daddy a bit later."

That peaked my interest. "Really?"

They nodded as they kissed my balls before taking one into their mouth and their hand became busy with giving me firm strokes. I let all of the tension in my body ease once I knew I would be in control soon enough. If I had done that before I would've took notice to how eager Eri was to suck me. Usually it was a little fast and decently pleasurable but I could always tell they weren't 100% into it. It wasn't their favorite thing in the world but they did it because I liked it. But now everything was heightened and steering me closer towards an orgasm. Fuck, I didn't want to cum this soon. Though I didn't want to I had to stop them. "H-hey, not yet, ok?"

They pulled away from me and wiped the corner of their mouth. "Fair enough." They rose to their feet and took a step back before dropping their panties to the floor. I licked my lips and watched intensely as they crawled into the bed face down and ass up. They opened their knees and dipped their stomach towards the bed before sliding their fingers through their folds. They were really going to touch themselves in front of me. I growled in frustration. I was gonna spank them so hard when I got out of these ties!

"Eri!" I snapped. "You need to let me…" My voice trailed off as they dipped two fingers into their fuckable little hole, scissoring themselves open and showing me exactly where I wanted to dive into. "Let me go!"

They sighed and turned back towards me. "What part of stay quiet don't you understand?" They grabbed their panties from the floor and balled them up before grabbing my chin. I turned my head away but they managed to get my mouth open and stuffed them in. I had had it with their fucking antics but the fire in their eyes matched mine. I couldn't believe they had been hiding this side from me for so long. They were supposed to be my submissive princess and instead they were a hellfire succubus damning me to a hell of irritation, greed, and lust. I growled and tried wrapping my legs around their thighs to pull them closer but they landed a harsh slap to my leg. I was taken aback and raised an eyebrow at them. They turned away from me without another word and went over to their desk drawer, pulling out what looked like a vibrator.

They sat on the edge of the bed this time, propping their feet up and leaning onto their elbows slightly. I heard the strong whir of the vibrations and stared as they dragged it up and down their lips, occasionally dipping it into their entrance. Soft sweet little whimpers rang in my ears as their hands moved the vibrator at a slow pace. Eri started moaning my name, just a bit exaggerated to entice me further. They were driving me insane and if i didn’t touch them soon I was going to explode. My cock was already throbbing intensely almost to the point of pain. My breaths were getting heavier as Eri’s thrusting of the toy increased speed. They were squirming and rocking their hips as their hands caressed their thighs. I watched as their fingers teased the lace band of their thigh highs and traveled to rub across their inner thigh. Their fingers kept going until they covered their clit and added passionate circles to the sensitive area. 

I scooted the chair closer to the bed, leaning as far as I could to hover over them. They had a sly smirk on their lips as they turned off the vibrator and popped it into their mouth to lick it clean. “You’re irritated aren’t you?” They said cockily. I nodded slowly and they sat up to kiss my mouth that was forced to stay shut. “I would say that i’m sorry but it’s fun pushing your buttons, especially because you’ve been so into punishing mine lately. I wanted to have a little fun of my own this time.”

I stood quiet trying to make it inconspicuous that I was working my tongue against the panties in order to spit them out. They looked down at my cock and licked their lips. “I guess I could think about letting you go. Or I could have some more fun by myself.”

I finally got the panties against my teeth and spit them out. “I’m not fucking playing anymore. Let. Me. Go.” I growled.

Eri looked down at the discarded thong and sighed. Their foot hit the edge of the chair, pushing it back on its wheels and taking me with it. The whir of the vibrator started up again and I was forced to continue to watch how good a some stupid plastic toy was making them feel. They were thrusting it in faster this time, trying to increase their amount of pleasure and my pain. Their hand caressed their torso, stopping just a bit to cup their breast and tweak their nipple. Their lips parted into a soft sigh that morphed into a mewl as their back arched from the bed. With every pull of the vibrator i could see Eri's body shudder weakly, the toy glistening with a thin coating of their cum. They slipped it out and pressed the tip against their clit which almost made their thighs snap shut.

"J-Johnny…" They whispered. Their hand was tangled in their hair now, trying to steady themselves from giving in too soon.

They made no attempt to move and free me and instead kept plunging the vibrator deeper to perfect the way the curve of the toy hit them. I bounced my leg impatiently, deciding that maybe I could do a little reverse psychology. If I ignored them and didn't say anything perhaps they would get frustrated and more likely to let me go. It was hard but I silenced myself and averted my gaze from the show they were putting on. It didn't take long for them to catch on as they were tempting me with calling my name out louder. I swiveled the chair around, blocking my view entirely and giving them my middle finger in exchange for their torture. 

The bed creaked then and I felt their hand on my neck, tilting my head back. "You're ignoring me on purpose."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said, smugly.

They pressed the vibrator to my lips and worked it into my mouth so I could suck off their taste. It made me crave them even more but I continued my facade. "You do. You're playing games with me and I hate that." They grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head back. I bit down on my bottom lip and swallowed back the deep lustful groan that built up in my throat. Just stay focused Johnny. Stay focused.

Suddenly their bra was in my lap which meant they were only in the garter belt and thigh highs. Fucking hell. Thankfully, I finally felt the sweet release from the ropes. I stood up quickly and tossed off my shirt before rubbing my wrists. Eri backed up onto the bed and laid back with a teasing look on their face. They were waiting for my next move, wanting me to pounce on them. I decided to take my time, continuing to give them a taste of their own medicine. I casually grabbed a condom from their usual spot on their dresser and rolled it on, yawning in the process. 

Eri scoffed. "Don't give me that shit, boy. Get over here now."

"Maybe I don't want to." I said flatly.

"Yeah, tell that to your dick thats swollen and literally dripping cum everywhere, slut."

That I definitely couldn't hide but I shrugged and sauntered over to them. "I can take it. After all you've made me wait all this time. Can't you be patient now?"

They yanked me onto the bed and forced me onto my back before straddling my waist. "No. What I say goes. Fuck me."

"You're wrong princess. What I say goes."

"Princess is gone tonight. Deal with it, prince." They grabbed onto my wrists and pinned them down which made me jerk uncomfortably and feel panicked. "S-sorry…" They whispered softly, breaking character for just a moment to instead hold my hands. I relaxed back and exhaled deeply, closing my eyes and trying to focus on our tense banter instead of my past. They gave me a soft kiss. "You ok?"

I nodded and pressed my forehead to theirs, giving their fingers a squeeze. "Keep going."

"Rough?"

"Rough." I agreed.

"You can tell me when to stop still. Was the rope too much?"

"A little. It made me jumpy but I can't say I wasn't distracted." I chuckled and nuzzled their face. "Cmon, mommy. Show daddy what cha got." It was completely cheesy and made us both laugh but it dissipated as soon as I felt them sink down on me. I arched up instantly, sucking in a breath as their tightness overcame me. "Fuck, Eri. I need you."

"I know you do. You always will. You're addicted to me." They bounced their hips fast, wasting no time in denying our satisfaction any longer. They were right about being addicted to them but it wasn't a habit I wanted to break. They were the only person ive ever really loved romantically and I still couldn't even tell them that. I was frustrated and disappointed at myself but what else could I do until I got the balls enough to confess?

I forwent my inner turmoil and looked up at Eri who was grinding harder into me. Their lips were pouted in a silent moan that turned into a tiny squeak once I was able to wrap my lips around their nipple. I sucked deeply, hungry, and yearning for them to cum. Their hold on my hands was weakening a bit and I used my strength to roll them over onto their back. My lips never detached from them but I gained tons of leverage to plow into them hard and hip breakingly fast. Their legs squeezed around my waist and I clamped my hands around their thighs. The feeling of the thin mesh sent chills down my spine as did the lace when my fingers ran over it. I had no idea why but I want to cum all over the stockings and soak them with thick heavy ropes.

I blushed a bit, embarrassed at my own sudden desire. That seemed way too weird...but would they let me do it? I swallowed nervously and looked down at them. "Im gonna cum the way I want, got it?" I said, putting on my stern voice.

"What makes you think I'm gonna let you cum at all?"

I sat back, stilling my thrusts for a moment. "You really think you have that power over me?"

"I know I do." They took the opportunity to capture my vulnerability and sat on my lap , wrapping their arms around me tight. "Keep going. Break me."

Christ, break them? They were going to break me. The fast pace of our shifting positions and newfound desires was leaving me in a whirlwind haze of deadly sins. I gripped onto their hips and slammed them down onto me. Heavy breaths were exchanged between us as we tried to entertain ourselves with harsh kisses, licks, and bites. It was a sloppy mess that made me dig my nails into their ass and growl deeply. "Do that again," they whispered in my ear. "Growl for me."

How did I make it not sound forced and stupid? I rarely noticed when I did it as it was all unintentional. While I was fussing with my thoughts, Eri clamped down around me tight and drew out the sound they wanted easily enough. They let out a whimper and squeezed me tighter to their chest. They sunk their teeth into my shoulder as their small body caved in and I could feel them dripping down my shaft. I kept my arm around their waist as they dug their fingers into my hair squeezing tightly but not pulling. "You ok, babe?"

They nodded quickly and finally released my shoulder from pain. "S-so good." I turned their head up towards mine and captured them in a slower kiss, letting out tongues work over one another gently. With a few small pecks they parted from me for a moment. "How do you want to cum? Don't say inside me because that's not happening again."

I shook my head. "Just...don't laugh, ok?"

They raised an eyebrow in confusion as I set them back down on the bed. I rolled off the condom and tossed it on the floor, not really giving a damn about it in this moment. I lifted their legs a bit, pressing their thighs together with just enough space for my cock to flow through them. The softness of their thighs coupled with the fabric was enough to make me go crazy. I thrusted faster, even feeling the lace caress my shaft. I clutched at their calves tightly as I felt that oh so familiar bliss creep within, this time heightened more than I could ever imagine. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, my breath weakening, and when I felt that heated tension I set their legs down and splattered my cum across the fabric.

I braced myself by placing my arms beside them and tried to catch my breath. They hadn't said a word or even made a sound since I became obsessed with getting off that way. I was almost afraid to look at them but when I opened my eyes I saw that their face was completely flushed. "I-i-i'm um...I'm sorry that was weird, I know." I said, ashamed.

"No. No. I'm...it wasn't weird. I just...I've never done that before."

"Yeah I...uh…" I pushed my hair back and flopped down on the bed beside them, preferring to just shrink away. "Sorry." I apologized again.

"Johnny…" they suddenly giggled. "I think you just leveled up your thigh high kink."

Now it was my turn to blush even more. "S-shut up! I have not!"

"Mhm, this mess says otherwise. Will you take them off for me? You can touch me as long as you want."

That offer seemed amazing but I was dead tired and I knew if I even so much as started to touch their thighs I would be rushing to cum again. Nonetheless, I did at least remove their soiled stockings and garter belt and tossed it beside the rest of our clothes on the floor. I managed to reach for my jeans and pulled out my crushed pack of cigs and lighter. Finally relaxing, I lit one up and rested beside them, realizing that maybe this new year was made for new kinks.

--

Eri's pov

We laid together for awhile, suffering through trying to catch our breath in the coldness of my room and sharing a cigarette or two as an end note to our ridiculous fucking. I was drifting into sleep thanks to the usual comforting smells of his musk and barely lingering cologne when Johnny decided to open his mouth and talk. I sighed a bit and looked up at him with my sleepy eyes, hoping he'd take the hint. "So like...me and Jae's birthdays are in a month and we're gonna have like this party so obvi you're invited but I wanted to let you know."

"Your birthday?" Fuck i still actually didnt know his birthday was. Why were we like this? "When is it?"

"Mine is on the 9th and Jae's is on the 14th. So we're doing it on the weekend. We always celebrate together."

"An aquarius…" I scoffed. "God that explains so much." I flopped onto my back and went off thinking about our actual astrological compatibility while he continued to talk about the party.

"Eri! Are you listening?!"

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him. "Yes! The party I got it!"

"Yeah, I know that. I asked you when your birthday is."

"Oh...um, it's October 29."

He sat up a bit and looked at me. "As in, it passed and you didn't tell me?"

"I don't really celebrate my birthday. Id much rather celebrate Halloween. Besides...October was a weird month for us…"

"Still you could've said something...how is it that we still don't know the most basic info about each other?"

I shrugged. "We thrive on shared trauma which, ya know, isn't really that great but here we are.".

"I mean we had that talk in the hotel room but I guess even that was a bit heavy with you telling me about your gay stuff…"

"The gay stuff™️." I giggled. "But yeah, I guess so. If you ask me though, knowing each other on a deeper level is better than us knowing our fave colors and birthdays."

"I can see that to some extent. I would still like to know that superficial stuff about you."

I sat up a bit, letting my hair drift over my shoulder and onto his chest. "Ok, Johnathan. I know that you're from Chicago, you're a Mama's boy, your fave color is blue, you like photography and live off of iced americanos from Starbucks. You can sing and play the piano and you're in photojournalism. And now I know you're an aquarius. So if there's any more superficial stuff you'd like me to know then have at it."

"Gee, thanks. Now you just sound like an asshole." He rolled his eyes and tried to shift away from me but I managed to wriggle my weight onto him.

"I'm serious. Go ahead and tell me. Or you can ask me a bunch of shit. 20 questions, you softie."

He sighed and set his hands behind his head. "Alright question one, what made you such a pain in my ass?"

"That's not a 'superficial' lovey question, Johnathan." I teased. "And i'm not a pain in the ass, you just like me. Admit it. I'm the majestic goddess of your dreams!" 

"Oh definitely. Nothing less than a majestic goddess." He smiled as I leaned in for a kiss. "Question two, how old even are you?"

"I just turned 21."

He sat up quickly, almost knocking our heads together. "Whoa, wait, really?? You're younger than Jae! He's turning 22!"

"Well how old are you gonna be?!"

"24!"

"Oh my god, you act like it's such a big deal. Don't scare me like that. Almost everyone I fuck is older than me, except Lucas. Who cares?" I pressed him back down onto the bed and resumed my position of comfort on top of him.

"I mean like...I normally go for older chicks so it's just a bit weird…"

"Well, what they say about older people being wiser isn't always true. Especially since my young self made you have two orgasms in a row, deep throated you, made you realize that eating pussy isn't so bad, and taught you that being a daddy never felt so good."

"You're so annoying, I swear." He scoffed.

"You only say I'm annoying when I'm right, which is like all the time, so next question please."

"What's your last name?"

"Hah, funny. I have like 4, all of which you probably cant pronounce so we'll skip all those. What's your last name?"

"Suh."

"Suh?" I questioned. "Like suh' bro?"

"Like Johnny Suh." He booped my nose.

"Eri Suh wouldn't sound too bad…better than what I have now." It came out faster than I wanted to and I thought he was going to freak out but instead he pulled me to his chest and kissed my forehead.

"Yeah...maybe."

I wasn't really sure how to react to his gentleness. It felt strange but oh so comforting. Marriage wasn't my gig at all but...the name did sound cute. I pulled the covers up to my chin and settled against his warmth. "A-anyway, I'll go to your party."

"Don't sound so enthusiastic, damn." He joked.

At least he wasn't hung up on my embarrassing revelation of how our names sounded together. "But don't worry, Suh. Mommy will remember to give you 24 spankings like you deserve."

"Eri, dont you dare! You're not gonna be spanking me anytime soon!"

"You'd be surprised! Maybe you'd like being a sub!"

"Maybe I should use the panty to gag you next, hmm? I don't wanna hear your big mouth. I'm tired!"

"Oh you ass!" I giggled and playfully hit his shoulder, barely inflicting pain. He tried to slap my hands away and curl up on his side, laughing with me. When I had enough I grabbed onto him like a koala, finally becoming the big spoon I always wanted to be.

He didn't move away from me. In fact, he held onto my hand that was around his waist and sighed softly. His shoulders released their tension and I could tell that he was actually falling asleep. A giddy smile was on my lips as I nuzzled his spine happy to be the one providing him with protection for once.

--

It was hard getting closer to him without actually being a couple. We had become so close it was almost impossible to separate us. There was always a little voice in the back of my mind that screamed 'just tell him! What's the worse that could happen?!'. Heartache. Heartache was what could happen. Love is not easy. It was one of the hardest things I had to face since I broke up with Jungwoo. That was another reason I stopped myself. It was like a gut reaction that sent me into a panic when I thought about someone being in love with me.

I regret what happened. We were a cute couple. I was full of naivety and thinking my world was so sweet when I was around him, which it was. He was polite, kind, a true gentleman, and always put me first. He was literally a perfect boyfriend. He was also the first boyfriend I ever had. That threw my sexuality for a dizzying loop since I had been with my ex girlfriend for most of high school until the beginning of college. I realized that men weren't so bad (pfft, yeah right), especially my Jungwoo.

It was almost 9 months that we were together, inseparable and presenting as the white picket fence pristine couple. Waiting also came with Jungwoo as he was extremely shy when it regarded romance. We had barely kissed within those nine months but held hands like it was our job. It makes me laugh now how reserved I was back then. I was almost virginal (well technically a virgin with a real dick. Definitely not a virgin with a girl (or a fake dick)) and Jungwoo for sure was a virgin which seemed to make that moment more special when the time came. Our kisses were clumsy and awkward, our hands unsure of where to explore, and our bodies fumbled until we were connected. We nervously laughed and stared at each other and I had no idea what to make him do. We could only think of to thrust but still weren’t really sure how to make it pleasurable. I didn't know what I wanted from sex with a man and I laid there thinking most of the time instead of trying to enjoy it all. And then it happened.

Like a doomsday bomb the three little words were mumbled from his lips and I froze. See, the layers of trauma were just beginning to pile on. My girlfriend had told me she never even loved me after out five year (childlike) relationship, and now that Jungwoo had said that I feared that he was lying. He was just going to stab my heart again and laugh at my misery. No matter how nice he presented to be. That was what she did after all; was nice and then turned her back on me and destroyed what I thought was real and most important. And so I ran. I physically ran. I pushed him away, tossed on my clothes, and sped from his dorm room as fast as possible. He was confused and I didn't talk to him after. No explanation or anything. I ignored his texts, ignored when he came to my dorm, avoided him at all costs. The kicker was that he did actually love me and now I was the person that caused pain and suffering.

Thus my caution with Johnny and being terrified to say anything. I wanted to, god I really really wanted to, but the trauma and fears and of course him outright saying we wouldn't be together we're speed bumps in my recovery to love like a normal person. I still thought about confessing for the hell of it and throw myself down the rabbit hole of self hatred but I was still too scared. This was also the first time love had hit me so hard. With Jungwoo I wasn't really sure of my feelings but with Johnny it was almost like I knew right away. I had never fallen in love that fast with someone ever. He made my heart race, my body ascend of planes of absolute bliss I could never imagine myself being on. He made me laugh, feel safe, listened to me, and was there through my personal disasters and didn't budge. He didn't care about what had happened to me. It was almost as if he found it normal since we had similar stories. I wanted him so bad. I needed him. 

I sighed as my tornado of thoughts about love hit me all at once in the parking lot of Johnny's apartment complex. It was the night of his party and I wasn't going to ruin it by being a crying mess as soon as he rejected me after my confession. I stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut, squaring my shoulders and taking a deep breath to put on my brave face and stuff my feelings away. I mean how could I be Eri if I actually talked about my feelings.

I shuffled my feet against the ice, trying not to fall as I made my way to the door of the building. I fucking hated winter. I was an island baby, what the hell was I supposed to do with a giant pile of frozen hatred? I made it safely and went to Johnny's apartment. The door was open and I let myself in, looking around at the people already dancing and mingling. I tried to find him but couldn't really see him anywhere, which was weird since the apartment wasn't that big. I went to his room, pushing past a few people to look for him there. The room was empty though and I simply unzipped my coat and tossed it on his mattress.

"Hey."

I turned and expected to see my birthday boy but it was Lucas. My heart immediately felt like it was a piece of paper that got crunched into a ball to throw in the trash can. "Hey…"

"Can we...talk? Please?"

"About what?"

"What happened between us."

"Lucas, I came here to have a good time not be bombarded with sadness."

"I know but you're ignoring me every other way so I need to do this. Please."

Great. Exactly what I needed. "Go on."

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. We both sat down on the bed and I waited for him to start. "Eri, I am so sorry for what I made you feel. Like incredibly, totally, irreparably, sorry for what I did. I didn't think it was a big deal but I was being selfish and only thinking about my fun. It never even crossed my mind that it would hurt you so much, which of course was a problem. Then you stopped talking to me and I realized I could actually lose you. I don't want to lose you. That's the very last thing I want Eri. You mean so much to me and Quinn definitely beat it into my brain that I was an asshole. I just hope you can forgive me. Maybe not today but somewhere down the road. I miss hanging out with you. I miss laughing with you and cuddling you and all that stuff. I know you're in love with Johnny so we can't be friends with benefits anymore but I don't care about that. I want you. The three of us, back together again. Me, you, and Quinn."

He took a deep breath and rubbed his palms against his jeans, seemingly to wipe the sweat off. I didn't know what to say. I set my elbows on my knees and leaned forward to cup my face in my hands. I wanted to scream. Of fucking course this would be the first thing that hits me. I did love my Lucas puppy. I love him too much. I hated not talking to him or tagging him in stupid memes. I would go to the ends of the Earth for him. I could hear the remorse in his voice and see the pained look in his eyes and it made me want to scream. He did the least amount of damage compared to Yuta and Ten, and he was the only one who apologized. It was a lot to think about but I caved in.

"I forgive you Lucas." His eyes lit up in that excited puppy way which made me crack a small smile. "It's hard but I do forgive you. I miss you."

"Fuck! Eri!" He tackled me back onto the bed and gave me a strong hug, crushing me in his long arms.

"Lucas! Argh- Jesus! Are you gonna let me breathe?!"

"Oh sorry!" He pulled away from me and I sat back up again. "I'm just so happy to be with you again. I love you."

"I love you too " It was so nice and easy to say that to him, why couldn't it be the same with Johnny. Lucas laid his head on my shoulder and I pet his hair back. It may be weird to try and go back to being normal but I felt confident enough that we could make it work. It was years of investment into our relationship and admittedly tons of nights of passion and intense love that would go down in the history of my little black book. It was hard to let him go and I couldn't do that just yet.

"Can we hang out soon?" He asked.

"Yeah, maybe. I have a lot on my mind right now…"

"With Johnny?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I don't know what to do anymore. I love him but I don't know if I can tell him yet."

"You have to Eri. It just seems like it's killing you."

"It is but what if it hurts? What if it backfires? What if I just become an irreparable mess?"

"If he fucks you up I'll beat his ass. Quinn will beat his ass. You don't have to worry about that."

"Violence is not going to solve my heartache, Lucas. It's not going to make me feel better if he rejects me."

"Look," Lucas sat up and held onto my shoulders. "You're a risk taker. You're always doing new and cool shit. Johnny would be stupid to pass up the chance to be with you. Besides I know someone who would jump on the opportunity to be with you."

"God Lucas don't tell me it's you. Please, I don't need that "

"I mean yes but also no." He laughed. "It's not me exactly but you just let me know what Johnny says, ok? I make sure you won't go through that alone." He kissed my forehead and gave me a death grip hug. "Text me, whenever you do it. I'll have my bat ready just in case."

"When did you become such an adult? What happened to my goofy baby boy?" I half joked. He had grown up a lot in the past year and I was proud of him, especially for making the decision to talk it out with me.

He shrugged. "I can't stay a kid forever. I like having fun but I know when things are important and need to be fixed. I know when I'm wrong." He kissed me gently and pressed his forehead to mine. "One last one before you're with him forever." I shouldn't have. It felt like I was betraying Johnny but then again we weren't together. I cupped Lucas' face in my hands and kissed him slowly, feeling that familiar comfort we had in being with one another. I sighed softly into his mouth before falling into his chest. He kissed the top of my head then patted my shoulder. "Let's get back out there. We can at least celebrate his birthday which by the way you owe me for mine!"

"I know, I missed yours. I will make it up to you when we hang out. I'll cook for you."

He gave me a great big smile. He loved food and that was the key to his heart. "Hell yeah! You're a great cook! I'll hold you to it."

We both got up from the bed and made our way towards the door. When he exited the room he gave me one last kiss on the cheek before we parted. I exhaled deeply, trying to pretend I was okay but all of that hit me in the first part of the night and it was a mess. I attracted messes. Messy messes that just came with suffering. But now it was time to look for Johnny and hopefully he could make me feel a little better. I maneuvered through people as I searched but instead caught sight of Yuta. My heart stopped when he looked at me and just across from his was Taeyong. Why were they here? Johnny couldn't have possibly invited them. I was falling into panic mode already and wanted to run.

I felt strong arms wrap around me and a kiss on my cheek. “There you are! I was looking for you. When did you get here?” I turned and held onto Johnny happily. I was glad to be in his arms again.

"I got here not too long ago but Im gonna go. I don't think I can be here." I said with a shaky voice.

Johnny looked me, concerned. "Why? What's going on?"

"I saw Yuta and Taeyong and I just talked to Lucas and it's just a lot right now."

"I can kick them out if you want. Im not even sure how they got here. Must've tagged along with someone else."

"No, no. It's fine. I don't want to cause drama at another party. It's your birthday. I want you to have fun."

"Yeah, but I wanna have fun with you. If you don't wanna stay we can go somewhere else." He said as he set his arms around me.

"This is your party, Johnny. You should stay."

"Fuck it. Come on. We'll just do our own thing. I don't care as long as I'm with you." He took my hand before I could even protest and headed towards the front door. I managed to snag my coat at the last second and got dragged along until we arrived at his car. I had no idea where he was taking me but I trusted him enough to let him lead the way. Our pinkies remained linked as he drove one handed and slowly my anxiety evaporated into the winter air. Eventually we came across an abandoned building where Johnny parked.

"Oh great, you're gonna kill me. You know, I was supposed to be the serial killer in this relationship." I said as I stared at the dilapidated structure.

"Shut up." He joked and sucked his teeth. "I think this place is really cool and I thought you would like it because its all spooky and shit."

"Well you got me there. It does look cool." He got out the car and I pulled my coat tighter, finding my beanie and gloves in the pocket. I put those on too and got out, hearing the untouched snow crunch beneath my boots. The quietness of the night was magical and a breath of fresh air. Small snowflakes fluttered down from the sky and it made me feel like a kid again. I stuck my tongue out and tried to catch the flakes, spinning around and holding out my arms. I normally didn't like winter but there were times where snow was so scenic and pristine that it made me utterly happy.

In the midst of the quietness I heard clicking and turned around to see Johnny's professional camera in his hands. "What are you doing?" I asked.

He simply shrugged. "Nothing."

"Where did you get that camera from? Why are you taking pictures of me?"

"I had it in my car after I went through the park a couple days ago. And because I like taking pictures of beautiful things."

My face flushed deeply and my eyes went wide. He...he just called me beautiful. The shutter went off again and I rushed to his side. "Why'd you take it then?!"

He chuckled and squeezed me to his chest. "Your reaction. It was natural and I wanted to capture that." He sniffled against the cold.

I buried my face in his chest and clutched onto him. "You're a big dumb dummy head…" 

"Oh yeah? I hear you like big dumb dummy heads." He bent down to playfully kiss at my neck and cheek, making me giggle.

"Maybe I do. But only certain ones. Certain cheesy dorky ones."

"Im not dorky! Im cool."

"Only dorks say that they're cool." I kissed his frozen nose, making him wrinkle it. "You're freezing. You didn't even bring a jacket. All you have are your sweats."

He pulled his hoodie over his head and shrugged. "I'm alright. Are you warm enough?"

"No, not really. You wanna take cute pictures of me freezing my ass off!" I playfully hit his chest then wrapped my arms around his neck. "Should we head back? Maybe we can go to my apartment and chill there instead?"

"Mhm yeah and you can give me my birthday sex."

I rolled my eyes. "Who said you're getting any birthday sex?"

"Daddy did." He nuzzled my neck, just beneath my jaw and nipped ever so slightly.

I returned my blushing face to his chest to hide my embarrassment. "S-shut up and let's get back."

He laughed and opened the door for me first before heading over to the driver's side. I shut the door and settled into the seat while he tried to turn over the engine, except it kept stalling. "FUCKFUCKFUCK. Not now!" He hit the steering wheel and let out an exasperated sigh.

"What's wrong? Why won't it start?"

"Sometimes when it's too cold my engine freezes up and won't start. Normally I can get some hot water and pour it on but we're shit out of luck now."

"Oh my god. You and your piece of shit car! I do not want to be stuck here in this cold!" I pulled out my phone quickly and checked my battery. I had forgotten to charge the damn thing and it was barely at 10 percent. "Wonderful. What's your phone at?"

Johnny dug into the pocket of his sweatpants and checked it. It was nothing but a black screen. "Welp, that's great. It's dead."

"UGHHH!" I quickly typed out a text to Quinn, hoping that I had enough battery to tell them to come get us. "If Jae jump starts your car will that work?"

"Yeah, it will. Did you get through to them?"

"It sent but hopefully they see it soon and aren't in the middle of giving Jae his birthday sex." I rolled my eyes and sat back in the seat. "My phone might not make it until they reply."

"Let's hope for the fucking best. I have no idea what else to do."

"I guess we fucking suffer." I said bitterly. I crossed my arms over my chest and pulled my hood up to try and burrow myself away. It didn't work as well and I was still shivering. Johnny was too and he kept rubbing his hands together to try and generate warmth.

"You wanna u-uh...get in the back seat and try and like cuddle to warm up?” He said as his teeth chattered.

It was better than nothing. I nodded and worked my way into the backseat the hard way instead of just getting out of the car and jumping back in. I always had to do things the hard way. Johnny joined me (the smart way) and instantly stuck to my side. I opened my coat and tried to get him in. He laid his head on my chest and wrapped his arms around me, shivering every so often. I leaned back against the door giving him more room to lay down on the seat. His hair was still damp from the snowfall and chilled my lips as I kissed the top of his head. His hands roamed south to rub my thighs, sliding over my leggings and beneath the black sweater dress I wore. “You better behave.” I said sternly, knowing that he would get too eager to be between them again.

“It'll help us keep warm. I swear.”

“Uh-huh. You’re just obsessed with them.”

“I’m obsessed with everything about your body. It’s amazing.”

“Shut it. Why are you giving me so many compliments today? You’re making me feel all...like my stomach is doing weird things.”

He looked up at me and nibbled his lip for a moment. “It’s doing weird things to my stomach too.”

“Then stop.” I whined. I didn’t want him to play games with my emotions. Not while I was freezing in his damn car, stuck in the middle of an unknown part of town, ready to die at any second. Okay, that last part was a bit far fetched but it felt like it.

“I don’t think I want to.” His voice was much softer then and he sat up to look me in the eyes. I wanted to avoid him at all cost but something in his eyes held me in place. Everything seemed different for some unknown reason. Nothing was special about being stuck in a car but the air around us started feeling a bit tense; a little sexual, a little nervous, and a little awkward. “Can I kiss you?”

“W-what? I mean yeah, you’re always okay to kiss me.” That was a strange question. The first time we kissed he took it from me without so much as a single word. Now after six months he was asking me as if we had just started seeing each other. I tried to clear my head as I felt his lips against mine. It was still a perfect Johnny kiss even with the strange feeling before it. Bit by bit I relaxed into him, settling onto the seat as he crawled onto me. His cold hands slid up my dress making me gasp as it touched my much warmer skin.

He buried himself in my neck and whispered an apology between kisses. He adjusted me as much as he could to settle between my legs. It was much easier to feel him grind into me in sweatpants than it was in his usual tight jeans and it instantly made my body react. I was a sweet symphony of soft whimpers as he ground his hips into me deeper. I grabbed onto his ass and worked him forward to greedily add more friction between us. Occasionally he would free my skin from his lips to moan when I hit a particularly sweet spot.

"Can I, um, eat y-you out again?" He asked suddenly.

I pulled away from him and gave him a surprised look. He hadn't done it since Christmas and I assumed once was enough even though he said he enjoyed it. I wasn't expecting this out of him. "O-oh...well sure. Make sure to keep my thighs warm though, ok?"

He nodded like an excited puppy and stared at me. I stared back wondering why the hell he was stalling.

"Uh you gonna take off your pants or what?" Johnny asked.

"Oh shit! Sorry. Hold on." Duh, of course that's what he was waiting for. It took me forever to unlace my boots and kick them off given the minimal space we had especially since the driver's seat was pushed all the way back to accommodate his stupid long legs and I was directly behind it. Once my feet were finally free I wriggled out of my leggings, having a moment where I jammed my foot into the back of the seat. Who even thought car sex was a good idea ever?

"You good?" 

I nodded and resumed my spot laying down on the seat with one leg hanging off it. Johnny worked himself between my legs again and thankfully moved his heated tongue through my slit. He caressed his slightly rough hands over my thighs and dug his face deeper into me. "That's good, baby…" I mewled. He seemed to have taken the criticism from last time seriously, putting it into full effect. He was slower this time but keeping a good pace, sucking on my clit before flicking his tongue against it. I grabbed onto his hand that rested on my thigh and folded our fingers together. I gave him a gentle squeeze and edged my hips up slightly.

"That good?"

I nodded and begged him to keep going. He pushed his tongue into me then, circling around my entrance and thrusting against the beginnings of my walls. His thumb brushed against the left side of my hip, rubbing the sensitive erogenous zone. My legs were beginning to quiver and I wanted to grind into his face but was unsure how he'd feel about that just yet. I figured it might overstimulate him and didn't want him to have a panic attack. So I left him at his own pace unsure if I should ask for more. "Can I…" He cleared his throat and didn't look me in the eye. "Can I use my fingers now?"

"Y-yessss." I hissed in a shallow breath. "Put them in my mouth first?"

He nodded and slipped them in while he shoved his sweatpants down a little lower to rest beneath his cock. As I sucked deeply I creept my legs towards my chest to press my thighs together. Johnny took the hint and I was sure he used a bit of my cum and his saliva to wet himself enough to pass through my thighs. I knew it was needed but hated thinking about the process and tried to occupy my mind with the way his fingers just barely tickled the back of my throat. Johnny rocked himself upward this time, brushing against my clit before bursting through the barrier my thighs made. I gasped around his fingers and gripped his wrist tighter, moaning eagerly.

He continued those electrifying thrusts that made my toes curl and calves tense. He was nothing but a string of soft curses, tossing his head back in utter bliss. He moved faster as his desire grew and made my clit throb with all the attention it was getting, making it almost too sensitive. If he kept this up, and I knew he would want to do this for hours, he would cum too fast. I parted from his hand and set my own on his shoulder. "W-wait. You're getting too excited."

He groaned and pouted. "I am not. I'm not gonna bust a nut that quick."

"One, don't ever say that again. Two, just relax for a bit. You always get so worked up."

"I just want you so fucking bad. It's cold, you're hot. Just let me be inside you."

I went to say something but shut my mouth quickly. Well damn. I opened my legs once more and grabbed a hold of his cock to guide him towards me. I was able to see him stretch me apart until he was fully seated inside, both of us sighing in contentment. He lowered himself to rest flush against my body, making sure his warmth covered every inch of me. He pressed our lips together and I wrapped my arms around his back, falling deeply into his passionate kiss.

He began his descent into a perfect rhythm of push and pull, filling me until he couldn't go any further. That stretch that made my stomach ache always brought fluttering wings inside me, even more so when he paired it with sucking my bottom lip between his. His hand set itself over my covered breast and squeezed, rubbing his thumb over my nipple. I still felt the motion and grabbed onto his sweatshirt tighter as I whimpered softly. Suddenly I heard a thud and Johnny stopped moving.

"Ow! Fuck!" He pulled away and held the top of his head as he had hit it on the door, wincing slightly.

I tried to stifle my laugh and pulled him closer so I could kiss the top of his head. "Aww, baby, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Stupid car isn't made for tall people."

"We could switch positions if you want." I offered which he quickly shut down.

"No, I like this one. It's fine." He grabbed onto the door instead, bracing himself to prevent any further incidents. He resumed his thrusting and I hid my giggling smile. I lifted myself onto my elbows to make it easier for him and to try and prevent any more accidents. I hooked my legs over the back of his thighs and from this position I was closer to his face and could plant kisses all over his lips, cheek, and neck, to soothe his damaged klutzy ego. He was avoiding looking at me, though I loved watching the way his body worked against mine.

His eyes remained squeezed shut and I convinced myself it was because of his embarrassment or that he was concentrating on his motions. I reminded myself that I should do the same and not worry so much about what he was thinking or if he was truly hurt. By the way he was slowly penetrating me I figured he was all for us staying connected. That was when I actually took notice of his speed. It was slow; more gentle than usual, almost as if he was trying to make love to me. My heart started racing then. This was way more intimate than I ever thought and not because of the close quarters of the car. What the hell was happening?

"J-johnny?"

"Do y-you like it this w-way?" He stuttered.

"Well...um...yeah it's nice. You can move faster if you want." I tried to break that too close for comfort feeling but he only shook his head and buried his face in the crook of my neck.

"No. This feels too damn good. I can feel everything inside you." He breathed out. My whole body seemed to flush with fever and I had no idea what to do now. My eyes drifted to the frost covered window as if it was a magic mirror that could tell me my true desires. This was even different than the times we had sleepy sex. My head was starting to get hazy with overthinking and I could barely concentrate on how he was making my body feel.

 "Johnny are you ok?" Maybe something was wrong with how he was feeling. After all this was for the sake of warming up in the winter stampede. Going faster would speed up our body's adaptation to comfort.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and ignored my question which made me press my hand to his chest to stop him. "Johnny." I said sternly.

"What?"

"Answer my question."

"Don't ask it. I'm ok."

"Yeah but you just seem a bit strange."

"How am I strange?" He asked. I could tell that there was slight irritation in his voice. "We fuck all the time."

"But this isn't fucking…"

"What do you mean it's not fucking? My dick is inside you. Were fucking."

"No, no…" I said softly. "It's like...you're making love to me…"

"W-what? No! Absolutely not! Im just...it's just…"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything, Eri. Just focus. Am I making you feel good or not?"

"Yeah…too good."

Our eyes met then though he avoided them quickly. It was futile to try and get through to him. I sighed and started rocking my hips again, diverting both of our attentions to trying to get off. He pressed his hand against the small of my back, edging me as close as possible as he sat back on his knees. "That's good." I sighed into his shoulder. "Keep going."

He groaned deeply before he continued. "Where do you want me to cum?"

"Wait, you're close already?"

"No! I just wanted to know ahead of time." 

"Oh...uh...I guess I could just swallow?"

"You hate doing that."

I pouted a bit. "Yeah well where the hell else you gonna do it?! It'll be a mess if it's anywhere else."

"Ok, cool."

I threw up my hands and huffed. "What the hell is wrong with you?! This is driving me crazy! Just fuck me! Please!" Don't make me think about all the fucking feelings I have for you, you goddamn bastard. Just don't.

"I don't want to fuck right now! Can't I go slower?!"

"Since when do you want to go slower?! The last few times we've fucked it's been hard and fast. What's the change of attitude?"

"Jesus Christ! I just want to- I mean like it doesn't always have to be like that!" He exclaimed.

"Johnny, seriously, what's wrong?!" 

"Nothing!! I just love you, ok?!"

[jokerfic]

“Hold still.”

“It hurts.”

“Well, yeah, genius,” Harley snorted. “That’s how this shit works. But statistically speaking, you’ve got a higher pain threshold than like ninety-nine percent of the other people who work here, at least the ones that aren’t blitzed out of their minds on speed, so woman up and stop complaining.”

“I don’t work here,” Emma objected, but fighting Harley was a losing battle and they both knew it, so she slumped moodily back against the overstuffed old couch and let Harley continue to pick little shards of glass out of her arm. To distract herself from the little shooting pains she felt at every prod of Harley’s tweezers, Emma watched her, studying her face as she worked.

Harley didn’t seem to mind, didn’t seem to take the staring personally, the way the Joker often did. In truth, she seemed to brighten slightly at the attention. She hadn’t escaped the skirmish unscathed, either; there was soot darkening her white-blonde hair and streaked across one cheek, and the pads of her palms had been washed and were now wrapped in bandages to keep her road rash from getting infected, but overall she seemed… fine. Better than fine. Harley had a way of making the chaos of her lifestyle look fun and exciting—even the way her makeup was running, black liner gathering in the hollows beneath her eyes and dark lipstick smeared at the corner, looked more dashing and artful than sloppy. Emma, on the other hand, after two days running around with the clowns, was sure she looked like a banged-up ghost. She wasn’t sure how Harley managed.

Then she thought fuck it. Harley was far less thorny than her worse half, and thus far had proved plenty eager to explain things to Emma, if she sensed they needed explaining. (Emma suspected that Harley was lonelier than she let on, if she realized it at all.) Thus far, that had been limited to aspects of the job and living situation that an outsider might find baffling—Emma still wasn’t sure how Harley lived like this full-time—but she didn’t think she’d object to answering a slightly more personal question.

“How do you make it look so easy?”

Harley looked up briefly from her work. She seemed equal parts flattered and confused by the question, but before she could reply, a henchman ducked into the room and approached Harley with the un-self-consciousness of familiarity, holding out a slim white joint in silent offer. Harley’s eyes brightened, but she kept her grip on the tweezers and Emma’s elbow, just tilting her head invitingly: “Here, real quick, behind the ear.”

The henchman snorted, but dutifully lifted Harley’s hair away from her ear so he could tuck the joint securely behind it. Once he was finished, Harley beamed at him and said, “Thank you, Ty.”

Ty didn’t acknowledge her gratitude, turning instead to look at Emma, who stiffened up under his scrutiny—it wasn’t malevolent, exactly, but there was something challenging in his expression, something that looked half-playful, which, after the past month or two, she didn’t trust. “So, what,” he said, putting his hands on his skinny hips, “you part of the crew now? Just gonna run around with us all the time, or—?”

Harley was already rolling her eyes and standing to bully him out of the room, but Emma, too tired and sore to try and figure out what his game was or whether she wanted to play it, figured that he wasn’t law enforcement and the truth couldn’t hurt. “No,” she sighed, “I’m just fucking your bosses.”

Ty crowed with laughter, and Emma spotted Harley’s mouth ticking up at the corner before she shoved him by the shoulders, not hard but certainly insistently, and jabbed a bloodied finger towards the door. “Out,” she said.

“Y’all nasty,” Ty said, grinning as he backed away, and when Harley shoved him again, he threw his hands up in self-defense and said loudly “All right, all right, I’m going!”

Harley chased him out of the room, then turned back, the affectionate little smile creeping over her face belying her put-on exasperation. She returned to her perch, cleaned her hands on an alcohol wipe from the first aid kit, and said, “Bear with me, sweetie. Almost done.”

Emma groaned, but let Harley take her elbow once again. Once Harley had resumed plucking little glass pieces from her skin, Emma prompted her: “So?”

“Tell you the truth, I didn’t know I was making it look easy,” Harley replied in an easy little murmur, not bothering to play coy, to tease Emma the way the Joker did when she was trying to get any information whatsoever from him. “You saw how it was out there. Hangin’ on by the skin of our teeth. Lucky to make it out alive most nights. Not easy by a long stretch.”

She pried one last little glass shard from Emma’s arm, tossed it and the tweezers in the little bowl she’d been using as a depository, and braced her hands against her thighs, frowning thoughtfully. Emma waited in silence, sensing that Harley was pulling her thoughts together, and it paid off when finally, she announced, “I guess it’s just that the life agrees with me,” then pulled the joint out from behind her ear, placed it between her lips, and lit it up with a clinking metal Zippo she produced from somewhere on her person.

The bittersweet smell reached Emma immediately, even before little curls of smoke began visibly trailing from the glowing tip, and Harley took a slow hit, leaning back and tilting her head up and holding it for a solid five seconds before exhaling. As the little cloud left her mouth, she asked, “You ever read Matilda?”

Emma frowned. “The kids’ book?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure.”

Harley grinned. “Oh, a woman of culture.” She made as if to pass the joint, checking herself and jerking back slightly when Emma reached for it. “You don’t get all paranoid, do you?”

Holding her gaze steadily, Emma said, “It’s not paranoia if they’re really after you.”

Harley chuckled, a throaty, dirty little sound, and seemed satisfied with the response, handing it over. “You remember at the end of Matilda,” she continued, “remember how it turned out her powers came from being under-challenged? Too much extra brain-energy not being burned off, or whatever, and how once she’d settled into much more advanced classes they disappeared?”

“Mm-hmm,” Emma hummed thickly, focused mostly on making sure she didn’t cough all the caustic smoke out just a second after breathing it in.

Harley’s stare grew distant, reflective. “That was how life was, before,” she said, her voice soft. “Except instead of powers, I got frustration. Constant feelings of fear, shame, inadequacy. Like no matter how much I did, how hard I tried, it wouldn’t be enough for the people in my life. I wouldn’t fit.”

Emma exhaled the cloying smoke with a couple of coughs to clear her lungs, then handed the joint back to Harley. Harley rolled it slowly between her index finger and thumb, lost in thought, but Emma settled back against the couch, already feeling the effects of the smoke, the way it relaxed the knot of stress at the base of her neck, made her forget about the sting of her hurt arm. She was content to wait as long as Harley needed to collect her thoughts.

A figure passing the doorway drew her eye. She couldn’t be certain before he disappeared from sight, but she thought it was the Joker, tossing something from hand to hand.

Harley spoke again, meditative, calling Emma’s attention back. “I had gifts I didn’t even know I had. Gifts I never would’ve been allowed to use. He showed them to me, brought me here. This life’s not easy, but if I make it look that way?” She took another drag, shrugging carelessly, and on the exhale, she concluded, “It’s just ‘cause I’m happy.”

Emma frowned even as she took the joint back. In her experience (admittedly far more limited than Harley’s), being around the Joker didn’t exactly dispel feelings of shame, fear, or inadequacy. If anything, she felt a constant push to work harder, be tougher, do better when she was around him—a push she actively fought against, but exhausting all the same, and she didn’t think for a second that he was unaware of the effect he had. If anything, he found it amusing, useful, played it up.

If Harley noticed Emma’s troubled expression, she didn’t pay much attention to it, turning to rummage through the first aid kit, and Emma wasn’t about to mention her qualms. Harley was sweeter by nature than the Joker, but she could turn poisonous in a second, and a surefire way to goad her into it was to talk shit about her boyfriend in front of her—not even Emma could speak honestly safely, not even now. (From what she’d seen, Harley’s friend Pam was the only one who consistently got away with it.) Emma had no intentions of letting the Joker ruin a perfectly good high, so she just relaxed and took another hit as Harley turned back to her with alcohol wipes and bandages.

Ty’s weed was good, enough that Emma didn’t bother to protest when Harley wiped down the wounded area with stinging alcohol. “All right, there,” she said, carefully taping a thick white bandage over the injury and giving it a light slap for luck, pulling a hiss out of Emma. “Look at you, huh? Didn’t need stitches or anything.” She plucked the remainder of the joint out of Emma’s loose fingers, took one last almighty pull, then stubbed it out in the bowl with the bloodied glass pieces that had been lodged in Emma’s arm.

Emma scooted forward to the edge of the couch, ready to move now that she was all patched up, but Harley surprised her, stooping in front of her and delicately laying her hands on Emma’s knees. She looked up, eyes faintly glassy but intense, and she said, “You could be happy, too.”

Emma shook her head, faintly confused. “I am happy,” she said.

Harley shook her head. “Happy people don’t challenge notorious criminals who’ve broken into their house to kill them. That’s death wish sorta stuff. Happy people don’t leave their lives behind to run off and join the aforementioned criminals and their gang.”

“Excuse me—I have not left my life behind,” Emma said, an incredulous little laugh bubbling up from her throat. “I haven’t joined you, or whatever. This is just like… spring break.”

She nearly flinched, thinking better of the words after they’d already left her mouth—they sounded dismissive, almost scornful to her ears, but it was Harley’s turn to laugh. “Spring break with the meanest sons-a-bitches in Gotham, huh? How’s that treating you?”

“Ups and downs,” Emma answered noncommittally.

Harley wasn’t about to let her get away with being glib—her smile faded, leaving her looking almost painfully earnest, and, tilting her fair head a little to one side, she asked plaintively, “Don’t you think we could see how bored you were?”

Emma hesitated, taken off-guard by the question, especially with the touch of marijuana making it difficult to articulate the defense she knew she had, resting just beneath the surface. At length, she just said, carefully, “Bored doesn’t mean unhappy.”

“Yes,” Harley said, her hands tightening emphatically on Emma’s knees, “it does.”

Without meaning to, Emma lifted her hand, resting her fingertips on the soft skin of Harley’s cheek, dropping her eyes to the smear of soot there and rubbing at it with her thumb to avoid meeting Harley’s unrelenting gaze. Harley, she had learned over time, didn’t really believe in casual. No sooner did Emma start to go with the flow, to stop worrying about whether her choices would damn her, than Harley in turn started applying some form of surgical pressure, pushing for… what? Awareness? Commitment? Emma wasn’t sure, and moreover, she wasn’t sure what motivated Harley, whether it was true concern, the real belief that Emma would be better off with them instead of working her dead-end job on the right side of the law, or whether she was just twisting the knife.

She didn’t want to talk about this, didn’t want to think about it. She had no intentions of making any difficult decisions until they were forced on her (and going by her experience thus far, those decisions were coming up fast—no need to rush them).

Kissing Harley to distract her and keep from having this conversation might have counted as cheating, but the clowns cheated all the time, and besides, Emma really wanted to.

Despite her tendency to challenge Emma, Harley tended to kiss gently, like she was scared she was going to scare her away if she handled her too roughly. It irked Emma sometimes, given that the woman had shown up with a fucking knife intending to kill her the first night they’d met—but they had time, and right now Emma was just enjoying the details, the soft slide of Harley’s mouth against hers, the brush of her hair against her cheek, the sweet, smoky taste of cannabis on her tongue. She felt Harley smiling, and couldn’t tell if she was being a smug asshole about it or if she was just—as she claimed—happy.

A small noise from the doorway had her drawing away from Harley suddenly, conscious of the fact that they were in a busy hideout, and she wouldn’t put it past several of the henchmen to be stupid enough to treat two women kissing like a show put on specifically for them, a delusion she wasn’t keen to perpetuate—but it was just the Joker, leaning against the door jamb, watching them with his brow set in a deep furrow. The frown didn’t seem to stem from displeasure, nor did he put off even a hint of lechery: he just regarded them like he was slowly pulling himself from deep thought.

Emma felt the spike of anxiety that always accompanied his presence (Harley could be mercurial, but she had nothing on him), somewhat dulled by the THC in her system that made it hard to get too worked up over much. Harley leaned forward to rest her head in Emma’s lap and smiled at him with an easy affection that Emma mistrusted and envied in turn, though she would never admit it to either of them.

“Which one of you has the smallest hands?” the Joker asked abruptly.

Emma didn’t bother to reply (and nor did she resist as Harley lifted her hand and placed their palms together to compare), her attention drawn by what he held in his hand. Her jaw clicked open in something close to horror, though she was laughing before she knew it, and she demanded, “Is that C4?!”

The Joker rolled his eyes downward and hefted the item he held, staring at it like he’d forgotten he had it. “Um,” he said, forehead furrowing deeper, then he glanced briefly back at her. “Semtex.”

“You can tell ‘cause Semtex is like a dark orange,” Harley clarified for her in a little aside. “C4 is dirty white.” Then, lifting her voice, she announced, “She’s got littler hands by a hair, Mr. J.”

The Joker popped his tongue in the corner of his mouth and straightened up, tilting his head in summons. “C’mon, Em. I need ya,” he said, and moved to leave.

“What, are you gonna blow my fingers off?”

He paused mid-turn, rolling his head on his neck until it was facing her again. He squinted at her, mouth pursed thoughtfully, said, “Hmm,” then disappeared from sight.

“That wasn’t an answer,” Emma told Harley, who gave her a sympathetic little smile and a hum and then slapped her palms bracingly against Emma’s knees.

“Go on,” she said. “He’s not gonna hurt you.” She paused, half-shrugged, and added, “Much. Probably.”

“You’re an asshole,” Emma groaned as Harley bounced to her feet, grabbing her by the hands to pull her up as well.

“I know! But hey, spring break, right?” Emma pulled a distinctly unimpressed face, and Harley laughed, pressed a kiss to her cheek, then swatted her on the ass. “Get movin’. Boss needs you.”

“Remind me to talk to you about hazard pay,” Emma remarked wearily, getting a giggle in response, then, slowly, she left the room and Harley’s warm presence, trailing after the Joker into the dark.

[floating-with-penny-blog]

The Demon Became An Angel (Pennywise x Reader)

For weeks he had been like this. Three weeks and two days. He has not been the same. He had changed.

When it started? Easy, exactly on April 15th around 2 in the morning. The all mighty eater of worlds and of children couldn’t predict it’s prey to fight back with such force. Pennywise attacked a bodybuilder by mistake, he was supposed to snatch the child from the other side of the sidewalk. Pennywise miscalculated every possible aspect of the situation, the clown got slammed hard against the brick wall behind him. Luckily for him you were watching him hunt. You stepped in pretending to be part of some prank. The bodybuilder quickly left in anger, leaving you alone with Pennywise.

Pennywise’s eyes were closed as he had gone completely limp. Some blood floated upwards from behind his head, he did hit his head badly. You desperately tried to find any sing of life. You placed your ear against his chest and let out a sigh of relief as the familiar pounding was heard in his chest.

You were right around the corner of Neibolt, his home. It wouldn’t be a long way to carry or drag him into the old house. You tried picking him up, but it was no use. He was way too tall for you to carry him. Sighing deeply you went behind him and placed your hands under his armpits and begun dragging him. Once you got him inside, you panted hard and took of your hoodie and used it as a pillow for the clown. You looked around for awhile, until you managed to find the first aid kit you bought not so long ago. You lifted his torso, so you could see the back of his head. He was still bleeding, but nothing seemed to be broken. You quickly wrapped a bandage around his large head, only him to suddenly change into his Robert Gray from. It happened in a blink of and eye and you were taken a back by it. You carefully laid him down and stroked his brown hair softly.

After that Pennywise was completely different. He wasn’t being the predator he used to be, he had amnesia. He had no memory what he truly was. He thought he was a human like the rest of us.

You woke up in the morning to find Robert still spooning you from the night before. Robert loved and cared for you unlike Pennywise. Yes he loved you, but never showed it unlike Robert. Was this the person who Pennywise tried to hide or… Was the murderous clown completely gone from his system?

“Morning~” Robert mumbled into your ear sleepily as he kisses your cheek softly, interrupting your thoughts. “How’s my baby doing~?” He yawned softly and ran his fingers on your arm.

“Good.. Just.. Thinking.” You said turning to this handsome man and meeting his beautiful blue eyes and soft smile.

“You think too much, you know that right?” He playfully said as he pulled you closer. “I’m going to into the shower, feel free to join me anytime” he got up from your bed and headed towards the shower.

You sat up on your bed and tried to think of a way to get Pennywise back. This ‘Robert’ person thought you two were dating, but that wasn’t the case. Yes you had some feelings for the clown, but this wasn’t him. You still had to look after him, who knows when he remembers who he truly is. You tried to think of anyways to make him remember. You got up and s reached your table for your blood red lipstick you got from your mom. 'Maybe I need to just pain his face.. Then he realizes..’ You thought to yourself as you heard Robert enter your room.

“What are you doing?” He asked with a chuckle escaping his lips.

“We are going to.. Cosplay today!” You tried to come up with a believable lie.

“Cosplay? What’s that (y/n)?” He tilted his head slightly. That’s something Pennywise would do if he didn’t understand something you told him. He was still in there!

“Costume play. We dress up as some fictional characters and go around! We have to do this at night since.. Our cosplay will be extraordinary!” You fake smiled at him.

“Sounds fun” He smiled and got dressed. “If we are going to do that during the night, what shall we do during the day?”

You tapped your chin. “Well it’s Saturday so.. Oh! I know you could go and pick up us some food while I.. Set everything up! There is a good Chinese restaurant at the other end of the town. Could you please go and get us the biggest portions they have?” You smiled innocently.

“If that’s what you’ll want, then yes” he smiled back. “But I don’t have any money-”

You handed him a 50$ bill and kept the smiled bon your lips as you looked at him. “Now you have!”

“Chinese food it is then” He chuckled and kissed your lips before he walked out, fully dressed.

You stood there dumbfounded. He just kissed your lips, believing your lie. You wiped your lips and got dressed and headed to the nearby Halloween themed store. Luckily they were open around the year. You bought red balloons, clown white make up and managed to find a clown suit close enough to his Victorian era one. You also got an orange wig and a bald cap. If he wasn’t going to remember without these, then you’d be screwed.

You ran home and begun to prepare your plan to restore Pennywise’s memory.

Many hours later Robert came home. He had walked all the way to the restaurant you mentioned and back. “I’m home! The food should be still warm.. But we can microwave it!”

You came from your room and took the bag he was carrying. “Thank you so much! Let’s eat, yeah?”

“I’m hungry like a wolf.” He joked.

'Great. Now I’ll see will he eat this’ you thought. “I set the table already” you walked in front him to the kitchen and begun to put the food on the plates. Pennywise sat on his chair and stared at his food. He didn’t say a word as he watched you sit down. You begun to eat happily.

“My god this is so delicious.” You smiled and kept eating.

Robert hesitantly took the fork to his hand and took one piece of meat and put it in his mouth. He chewed few times and spat it out. “Disgusting!” He growled until he realised what had just happened. “Wh-what was that…” He looked at himself in fear.

'Yes!’ You thought to yourself. “What was what?” You pretended like nothing happened.

“I.. I am not hungry. Sorry..” Robert apologized as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“Oh it’s okay, more for me then.” You giggled and ate your meal. “So you ready to cosplay?” You asked him as you stood up and put your dishes in the dishwasher and the leftovers in the fridge.

“Of course. I cannot wait.” Robert said with a smile on his face.

“Follow me~” you lead him to your room and sat him on your bed. “So, I’ll be doing the make up. You can get dressed in this while I gather my things and go get you a towel.” You handed him the clown suit.

“A clown?” He looked slightly confused but shrugged. “Alright then” he opened the package and begun to take off his jacket and scarf.

You turned away from him, begging that he would remember something. You took a towel from your closet and turned to Robert. He had the costume in his hands as he stared at the orange colored pompoms. He ran his hand on one of them.

“Robert?” You asked cautiously.

He turned his head to you fast. “Y-Yeah?”

“You should put it on. You can admire it later” You walked over and placed the towel next to him as you went to get the makeup, bald cap, wig, some cotton balls and liquid latex. Once you turned back to him, he was standing up and looking at himself from your full body mirror.

“How did you know my size? This is a perfect fit.” Robert asked as he sat back on your bed.

“I have my ways” you smirked and sat on the chair in front of the bed. “Right so.. I’m going to fill this bald cap with cotton first the apply it on top of your head-”

“Wait wait wait. Why exactly? Can’t I just put on a red wig and be done with it?” Robert questioned you.

“… I have a vision I want to fulfill” you quickly lied.

“Alright. Just asking” he smiled. “Please, do continue.”

“As I was saying.. I will put the cotton filled bald cap on your head and make it stick with liquid latex. Then I’ll block your eye brows with some cheap glue and put your wig on. Then I’ll paint your face and boom. Your cosplay will be done!” You smiled.

“Go at it, I trust you and you have my permission” he smiled.

You then started to transform Robert into the Pennywise you knew. With the towel protecting the suit from any drop of liquid latex or paint you slowly but surely begun to do the steps you previously explained to him.

It took you much longer than you expected, but Robert was in no hurry. He did ask you to get him a glass of water and you had one bathroom break during the process. You begun to add the red paint on his lips, all the white areas and shading were done.

“If you need to drink, you need to use a straw so you don’t accidentally ruin this.” You said as you kept painting the red lines.

“I’m really excited to see where you are going with this..” He smiled and closed his eyes as you painted the lines over his eyelids.

“I’m almost done, just don’t speak so I can paint properly..” You were really focused on the lines. Pennywise was really picky with them, if they were incorrect he would throw a temper tantrum.

After 10 more minutes you were finally done and sat up from your chair, taking steps back. He looked just like Pennywise, with a wrong outfit.

“How do I look?” Robert asked putting the white gloves on his hands.

“Perfect.” You said in amazement.

Robert carefully took the towel away from his neck and set it aside as he stood up and walked in front of your mirror. He stopped dead in his tracks as he stared himself in the mirror. He didn’t even blink as he watched himself.

You squeezed your hands nervously. Was he going to remember? “Pennywise?” You carefully asked.

“…. The… Dancing…. Clown….” He muttered as he turned to you.

You smiled brightly and grabbed your hand. “Come, let’s go-”

“No.” He squeezed your hand tightly, earning a whimper from you as he held you still. “You tell me what the hell is going on. Right now.” Robert seemed angry.

You looked scared as you tried to pull away from him. “L-Let go.. Y-You are hurting me..!”

“Tell me!” He ordered as he pulled you close to him. “Tell me.”

“Y-You are not Robert Gray. You are Pennywise The Dancing Clown, e-eater of worlds.. And… And of children!” He finally let go and you backed off from him.

Robert continued to stare at himself in the mirror. His green eyes scanned every single detail of the face paint. You carefully handed him a red balloon with a white string attached to it. He took it and held it like he always would, with his thumb and index finger.

“Deadlights.” You said as his eyes slowly but surely went from green to blue. “The Macroverse..” You whispered to his left ear. His eyes begun turning yellow as he seemed more and more angry. You moved behind him and leaned close to his right ear. “Maturin.” You then yanked the bald cap and the wig away from his head as his eyes were now yellow with red rims around the edges. He snarled as he slowly shapeshifted back to normal. He ripped the suit away as his own suit appeared on him. You threw the bald cap with the wig and cotton in the trash.

Pennywise turned to you, snarling and looking at you.

You looked back at him and took steps closer to him. You quickly wrapped your arms around the monster of a clown.

“I don’t do hugs-”

“You shut the fuck up, stop being such an ignorant asshole and fucking hug me back. You have no idea how fucking worried I was about you!” You commanded him with a pissed of tone. He stood still for a few seconds until you slowly felt his arms wrap around you, pulling you close.

@dick-me-down-sewer-clown @myfloatingdream @syynnaah @stefaniebanks99 @clown-in-the-well @itaddict @claddypenny @gleamed @smileysam13579 @unholyghost13 @pennyskitten

[negansblessedbbyg]

We All Gotta Float Sometime.

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Your weary legs wobbled throughout the abandoned forest, with a jolt of intense fear suddenly emerging from with in your oddly fatigued body. You were terrified; froze in your footsteps. You felt as if you haven’t slept in weeks. You slightly gripped your stomach as you felt nausea creep upon your digestive system.

“Oh, God, help me..” You whimpered sickly in a tone that was barely audible as you fell to your knees in agony. You began to plead to God to take this strange pain away from you. It was like the feel of death rematerializing deep within your system.

“Want a balloon, pretty girl?” A squeaky voice, as if it were imitating a child’s, yet in a man’s booming voice, inquired.

Your knees were still pressed against the green grass that caused your white skinny jeans to be stained with the plant. You slowly glanced up to meet the stranger’s eyes, instead your colored orbs bounced across a silhouette of a tall man in a clown’s suit that held a strand of a dozen red balloons. Your gut wrenched even more as he spoke causing you to groan in pain.

“Come here, to me..” He requested calmly as he began to breathe heavily; his chest heaving up and down. A mischievous grin swept across his face as he released the balloons from his grip. Your mouth came agape as you analyzed the man’s face; sandy brown hair, light colored eyes and structured facial features that complimented it. The pain abruptly washed away as he revealed his face. You felt as if you were healed, instantly lifting yourself up from the cold hard ground and walking towards the unique stranger. He grinned happily, aggressively pulling your figure onto his slender body.

You gasped softly as his red lips came in contact with your earlobe. "Ready to float, doll?” His voice immediately changed causing you to furrow your eyebrows in confusion. Before you had a chance to respond, the dozens of balloons popped in your face which left behind crimson red blood that splattered on you. You screamed loudly causing him to giggle in amusement at your manor. His sandy brown hair switched to a burnt orange color, his eyes glowed and appeared darker, and he was much more taller with clown make up matching it all. You struggled to get away in terror as his grip appeared tighter along your petite body.

Moments later, you found yourself wrapped in your blankets on your twin sized bed.

You sighed in relief. “It was only a dream.”

You switched to the right side of the bed, quickly screaming loudly in fright as the clown from your dream laid beside you in bed, giggling.

🎈                                                       🎈                                                              🎈

Sweat droplets covered your forehead as you sprang up from the bed, throwing the blankets off your body. Loud breaths escaped from your full lips as you held your chest, shutting your eyes in final relief. The dream was finally over. More like nightmare, you corrected yourself.

You recognized that clown.

If you last recalled, his name was ‘Penny’ something. He was a vicious, murderous clown that ate children. He was known in Derry for killing a child named Georgie. The Loser’s Club became known for battling him. The whole town knew of him after their interaction. He was suppose to be hibernating for another seventy five years so no one really has batted an eye over the monster anymore.

But why the hell were you dreaming of him? You weren’t a child. You were in your early twenties. Plus, how did he even get into your dreams? You haven’t thought of the notorious ‘Ronald McDonald’ killer since you heard of the murders and that was more than ten years ago.

Maybe because it was Halloween night?

Yeah, that’s why, you convinced yourself. You were watching horror movies all evening long and that must have plagued with your innocent mind.  

It just felt so real, so vivid.

You could almost taste the salty blood from the balloons that popped along your lips.

You lightly slapped your face to wake yourself up. “Shit, (Y/N), you’re really losing it this time.”

You jolted in fear as your phone beeped, signaling you received a text message.

“Wanna come to a Halloween party?” From: Isabella.

You groaned tiredly as your fingers typed along the keyboard.

“I feel weird as hell, Bella. I don’t know. I’m sorta tired.” Sent.

“PLEASE. I need you. Jeffrey will be there and I need your help on how to attract him.”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance at her comment.

“I’m not much of a partier, Isabella. You know that.” Sent.

Numerous crying emoji's appeared from her next text causing you to groan loudly.

“FINE. Be at the party in 20. Sent me the details.” Sent.

“YES! THANK YOU!”  She then sent you the address and the details of the costume party.

“Damn Isabella.” You cursed, throwing your phone onto your bed.

You didn’t have a costume this year because you thought you were too old for this Halloween thing.

You chewed along your bottom lip as you pondered of ideas, searching thought out your tiny apartment.

You gulped nervously as you opened your dresser drawer to find a clown kit make up package. Your younger brother gifted it to you Halloween to use and it needed to be used.

Your hand began to shake as you grabbed the red lipstick. You felt sick to your stomach as you applied the makeup identical to Pennywise’s.

He isn’t in Derry anymore, you reminded yourself. It was only a dream.

You jumped as you startled yourself by looking into the mirror. You looked just like him. Only a female version.

“Be there in 5.” Sent.

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You shut your car door, hearing your high heels click against the pavement as you walked to the front door of the house party. You were rather nervous tonight. You weren’t your old self and you could tell. The dream really spooked you out.

Several guys whistled and made explicit comments as you walked past them.

“Hey Pennywise, I wouldn’t mind you taking a bite of me.” One suggested with a smirk plastered across his face as he chugged his beer.

You made a disgusted face as you opened the door. “Fuck off.”

Isabella squealed happily as her eyes met yours. “(Y/N), you made it!” She hugged you before studying your attire and makeup.

“If you’re going for looking hot yet scary as hell, you’re doing a good job.” Your best friend complimented causing you to roll your eyes playfully and giggle.

“Thanks.” You responded blankly as you took a sip of a drink from a plastic red solo cup.

Her expression softened, “What’s wrong, girl? You’re acting weird.”

You instantly shook your head, denying her comment. “No, I’m fine. Just a bit tired, that’s all.”

She nodded her head, understanding. “Oh yeah, can you find Jeffrey for me? I think he might be upstairs.” She responded as she batted her false eyelashes.

You sighed softly, “Sure thing.”

You were pissed at your so called best friend for caring more about a guy rather than worrying why you were acting different. You were losing your mind and no one seemed to bat a eye about it.

Your stiletto heels clicked loudly as you walked up the stairs.

“Jeffrey? Where are you?” You called out to him, your eyes skimming the room.

“In here!” You heard a voice call out. 

You walked towards the other room to find Pennywise and all his height stand fearlessly in front of you with a murderous smirk along his red lips.

“Ah, ah, ah.. Nice look, doll. Are you making fun of me?” He puckered out his bottom lip to act as if he were upset.

Your eyes widened as your body backed up against the closet door. “How are you fucking here?”

He giggled loudly, “I woke. Now, do you want to float, little girl?”  He mocked you by looking down on you.

You began to sob as he gripped your jaw, mumbling things you couldn’t make out.

“Aw, pretty thing, don’t cry. We all gotta float sometime.” He stated with a chuckle as he ran his gloved fingers through your hair.

Suddenly, you felt his crimson red lips smash onto yours roughly. You stood still in shock, feeling him continue to kiss your lips until you whimpered, feeling him draw blood from your lip as he bit it.

His tongue licked the blood from your lips. “Delicious.”

With that, he disappeared.

🎈                                                       🎈                                                              🎈

Never really thought of writing something Pennywise but Bill did an amazing job and since it’s almost October, I felt like writing this. I only write Negan but I’ll let this slide this time.

[headmycanon]

MC Who is Really Bad at Makeup

Jumin

You and Jumin had been married for a couple of months. He made sure to hire the best fashion designers and makeup artists to make you look unbelievable for your wedding. When you first started living at Jumin’s studio, he assumed that you couldn’t bring your makeup from Rika’s apartment, so you didn’t bother. Shortly after the RFA party, he realised that you never wore makeup, even when he offered to purchase you high quality products. He was confused- all girls wear makeup, don’t they? He began taking a closer look at his female colleagues, leading to some angry outbursts from Jaehee- apparently women didn’t like to be stared at. The fact that you didn’t wear makeup didn’t bother him, he just found it odd. Whenever you had outings, he would always just hire someone to do your hair and makeup and the media never really paid mind to your face. It wasn’t until you were meeting Jumin’s father at a fancy restaurant and your makeup artist had to cancel last minute that you had done your makeup by yourself. You never went through the acne stage of puberty, so you never bothered wearing it. The last time you did it yourself was as a little kid when playing with makeup at a sleepover party.  

Now, you were stuck, standing in front of the mirror, surrounded by beauty supplies. “What’s that?” You thought to yourself, picking up what looked like an eyeshadow pallet. “Highlighter? And this isn’t a brand name… I guess I’m not using this.” You skipped a lot of steps a woman of your age would typically go through to do her makeup as you simply didn’t understand the purpose. You gave up on the eyeliner because it was crooked no matter how many times you’ve done it and you almost poked your eye out on several occasions; you gave up on concealer because what the fuck is a concealer?

When you were finally done, you sighed. “Good enough.” You fixed your hair that the hairstylist had completed about an hour ago and smacked your lips together after one last coat of lipstick.

You walked out of the bathroom, into your bedroom to show your husband. Upon seeing your face, he turned pale as a ghost. “Um… it’s nice, kitten… what a unique choice of colours for your eyes. Are you sure this is practical?” You assumed that purple eyeshadow would be a good asset to your purple dress. Unfortunately, the purple from the eyeshadow kit Jumin gave you was very subtle when placed on the face so you needed to apply multiple layers. “I believe you have applied too much foundation, as well… you look like Elizabeth III.” Elizabeth meowed from between his dress shoes.

“Um…” you didn’t know what to say. You weren’t angry at him. Your husband was always incredibly blunt, which either made arguments extremely easy to be sorted out or even easier to begin.

“I will need to reschedule…” Jumin looked down at his phone and sent a text, probably to Jaehee to cancel. 

Jumin felt bad that you didn’t know how to apply makeup as he felt all girls should be able to. When he had handed you the makeup, he assumed you knew what you were doing and left it at that. He decided he would sign you up for basic makeup classes just in case one of his stylists cancelled again.  

Seven

Being married to Saeyoung meant a lot of commitments. While this required emotional support, for not only your husband but also his brother, there were tons of fun commitments. One of Saeyoung’s favourite things to do was cosplay…or should I say crossplay? Whether it was for the hell of it, or to mess with the RFA on the messenger, or for...um…intimate times, he was intent on dressing up. This never bothered you. You’d often go along with it and help him dress up, occasionally dressing up yourself. It was fine until the day Saeyoung broke his arm. You don’t know what he did and questioned if you even wanted to know. According to Saeran, he was paying too much attention to his phone and ended up jamming his arm hard with his car door… you figured there was more to the story. Since he was left without his dominant arm, Saeyoung relied on you and Saeran to complete a lot of his everyday tasks. You were fine doing all of these chores- you did most of the chores anyways, but trouble came when he asked you to do his makeup. Whenever you cosplayed, Saeyoung always offered to do the makeup. You didn’t bother telling him that you don’t know how to put it on properly, but never considered he would break his arm.

“Baaaaaabeeeeee” he whined, more to annoy you than anything else.

“Whaaaaat? You whined back.

“I’m gonna dress up as a magical girl! Can you do my makeup?”

“I guess...” you hesitated.

So there you were, standing in front of his never ending pile of makeup supplies- surprisingly even larger than his load of Honey Buddha Chips. You sifted through his supplies until you could find some items you recognized and went to work. Unlike his normal hyper self, Saeyoung was very calm when applying makeup, to be as precise as possible. You hoped he didn’t notice your shaking hand when you applied his eyeliner because he definitely would when you were finished. He noticed there was an issue when you spread way too much setting powder on his face, causing him to cough and sneeze. He quickly felt around beside him to find his glasses and picked up the mirror in a hurry. The smirk on his face was not satisfaction but of amusement. You couldn’t get him to stop laughing and you couldn’t reach his phone in time for him to post a bunch of selfies on the RFA chat, showing off your “makeup wonders”. 

Yoosung

You and Yoosung had been dating for a couple of years. He had finished his degree and was opening his veterinarian office very soon. The boy never noticed that you didn’t wear makeup. He didn’t notice a lot of things, but that’s because it’s difficult to get him to think. Due to the grand opening of his veterinarian office, you decided that you would dress up and put more effort into your appearance. You knew Yoosung would find you beautiful no matter how you looked, you just wanted to try a bit harder and maybe give him more of a reason to show you off to his friends. After all, he was the first of his friends to get a girlfriend.

You got up around the same time as Yoosung did that day, something Yoosung found a bit odd as it was your day off. Nonetheless, he made you a quick breakfast before heading out to the office. When you heard the door shut, you got all excited and had to find a way to control yourself before you started your makeup. It took a couple of hours, but you were ready to see your boyfriend.

Upon walking into the clinic, you received a few stares from the visitors to the party. You shrugged it off, assuming they were confused how Yoosung could land such a pretty girl. It was not until you reached him, that you realised something was off.

“Hey, MC!” Yoosung exclaimed, trying to hold a smile and bite back his laughter.

“Yoosung! I’m so proud of you!” You ran up and hugged your boyfriend.

“Thanks! A-and you look… um… different? Did you do something with your face?” he asked hesitantly.

“Um, yeah. Is there something wrong?”

“Oh, aha, no. You look lovely, but I think you have something on your cheek…you should check it out in the bathroom…” You realised all of the stares you had been receiving- it was the makeup! How did you mess up? Wasn’t it in a girl’s genes to make the perfect eyeliner wing? Your face turned bright red as you looked down in embarrassment. “Oh, um. Can everyone excuse me?”

Yoosung took you to the side and lifted up your face to look eye to eye. “Uh, you wore makeup!” he tried so hard to sound enthusiastic.

“Yeah… I guess it didn’t turn out how I wanted it to…” you giggled.

He giggled, too. “You know you don’t have to do that for me. You look beautiful just as your natural self!”

You nodded but looked down again. “I wanted to impress you and make you happy…”

“How can I not be happy? My girlfriend tried to put on makeup just for me! I bet all of my friends are jealous!”

“Should I take it off?” you asked, meekly.  

“Let’s go to the bathroom.”

The rest of the afternoon went by smoothly. Nobody brought up the makeup fiasco and Yoosung was extremely happy with how many potential clients turned up. You were given several compliments from Yoosung’s friends, including some hitting on you to Yoosung’s demise. You decided you would never attempt to wear makeup before making sure you didn’t look like a clown.

Zen

Dating Hyun had its ups and its downs. He was a semi-famous theatre actor and constantly had girls flocking to him, whether you were present or not. You knew Hyun was faithful and loved you dearly, but you couldn’t help but feel intimidated by some of his gorgeous fangirls. They were lovely, while you were plain. You often visited Hyun directly after your long day at work, so you never exactly looked your best. He seemed happy to see you regardless, but you felt that you should put in a little more effort in the case that he was having second thoughts about you. On a day when you were allowed to leave work earlier, you decided to stop by your shared apartment and “doll yourself up”. You were never one to put too much effort into your appearance. You would wear light makeup to make yourself look presentable in an office environment, but never felt the need to do anything extravagant. This time was going to be different. You pulled out the eyeshadow kit your sister had given you for Christmas years ago, unopened but ready to be used.

You breathed in, ready to open the doors to Hyun’s studio. You were a bit nervous about showing up earlier than expected, but figured the surprise would make him happy. However, this was not exactly the case…

Hyun screamed higher than you knew was possible, almost high enough to be a dog whistle, when you walked into the theatre. “O-oh! MC! That’s you! I thought you were- um…. Is it October already?”

That was the moment you realised you fucked up. “U-uh…I gotta go!” You quickly ran out to the streets, ready to walk home, ready to try and convince Hyun it was an allusion…but you were stopped.

“Jagiya! What’s the rush? Didn’t you want to see me?”

“Oh, um… I realised that something sudden came up-” You went to leave, but were stopped by Hyun’s tight arms.

“Jagiya, you don’t need to hide. I was just surprised. I feel so bad for reacting like that! Please forgive me! Turn around, please! I want to see you!”

You gave your panicking boyfriend a break and turned to face him, with a sigh. “Yeah, I look stupid, I know… I just figured I needed to look pretty to be-”

“You’re too perfect for me!” he interrupted you. “Don’t you ever think that you’re not pretty or smart or charismatic or anything! I don’t deserve such an angelic soul! You were the one who loved me from what was inside and not for my face! Jagiya-why are you crying?” He grabbed hold of your head and pressed it to his chest. Hyun ran his fingers through your hair until you calmed down.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled. “I wanted to be like the girls you are surrounded by, Lovely Zen…but I’m not like them at all.”

“You not being like them at all is why I’m with you and not them! Do you think they’re able to make me smile as much as you do?”

In the end, Hyun decided that he would teach you how to do makeup properly in the case that you wanted to try it again. This fiasco was a thing in the past that you both learned to laugh about. You knew that Zen loved you no matter what and you loved him.

[clintasha-week]

(Make)Up and Down(Cast)

Just a few months after Natasha has been cleared for active duty at SHIELD, she comes face-to-face with a challenge. The solution surprisingly comes from her partner. 

“’Tasha, c’mon, we’ve got to go!” Clint hollered for the third time. He’d put on his stupid, fancy-pants suit and had moved on to the shinny shoes and fussy cufflinks. Yet Natasha hadn’t so much as poked her head out of the bathroom with an update. She still needed to put on the deep emerald gown hanging in the hotel’s provided closet.

Now Clint knew it took time for a woman to get ready – a previous marriage to Bobbi Morse had taught him that particular lesson. But they had a strict timetable to stick to and it was quickly closing.

“Nat!” he tried again, knocking on the bathroom door. It remained closed and silent. He didn’t want to think that maybe she’d bolted, but this was only their third mission together and it was a possibility to consider. Never mind the fact that they were seventeen stories up and there was no fire escape – he knew she could find a way out just as, if not easier, than he could.

“Nat, I’m coming in,” he announce, picking the lock on the door and creaking it open, prepared to see an empty bathroom and an open window. What he found instead was Natasha in front of the vanity mirror, hands covered in cosmetics and face a mess.

Her eye shadow was too green; her lipstick was smeared around the edges; her eyeliner was uneven. Too much too-pink blush dominated her cheeks, and a tube of mascara lay on the ground with the brush broken off.

“You okay?” Clint asked hesitantly.

“I…” but she didn’t finish. She looked at him, eyes too wide to be on the face of the famous Black Widow.

“Do you need help?” Clint tried, shutting the door behind him and taking a step further into the room.

She shook her head fiercely, gaze turning angry. But her shoulders soon sagged and she replied quietly, “I tried to learn. I watched the other women in the locker room after workouts, looked at videos online, but…”

Clint approached her carefully and reached around her to grab a washcloth. He wet it with warm water and handed it to her. “How about we start over?”

She nodded and took the cloth, scrubbing at her face while Clint laid out the needed supplies from SHIELD’s arsenal of makeup. He didn’t even know what some of it was, let alone what it was for or where to put it on one’s face. But this wasn’t his first rodeo with a makeup kit.

Natasha watched him as he set up shop, a question seeming to be lingering on the tip of her tongue.

“Ready?” he asked.

Nat raised a brow.

“Don’t give me that look. What? A guy can’t know how to do makeup?” He dabbed concealer onto the dark circles under her eyes, gentle around the delicate skin there. “Circus, by the way, before you ask. And no, it won’t be clown makeup. I promise.”

She cracked a tiny smile, tilting her face upon his instruction so he could blend foundation from her face to her neck with a sponge.

It was a while before she confessed, “They never taught us.”

Clint’s hand stayed from where it was deftly applying a gold eye shadow to her lids.

“They thought we’d use it to disguise ourselves and escape.” She pulled in a breath. “Or something like that.”

Clint had learned long ago the Red Room wasn’t big on sharing details, especially about their reasoning. “Who did your makeup for missions?” he inquired, blending the two shades of gold with a brush.

“They’d hire someone. I think. That’s what I did when I was on the run anyway. I’d make an appointment with a professional, go to a salon or studio.”

Clint hummed before asking her to close her eyes as he shook a tube of liquid eyeliner. He’d been the best at it in the circus, steady hand and all that.

Blush, lipstick, finishing touches. “There.”

Nat followed his guiding hands to turn around and look at herself in the mirror. She was stunning: eyes glittering and lined with perfect wings, lips a deep red, blush accentuating her cheekbones. 

“Thank you,” she muttered.

“No problem. Now, get dressed.”

She dashed out to the main room, slipped on her gown, and adorned the transceiver earrings and camera necklace she’d picked up from SHIELD’s tech division.

“I could teach you, you know,” Clint offered.

Natasha slipped on a killer heel before looking up at him. “I’d like that.” She smiled then, something real and rare that had Clint feeling privileged to be on the receiving end.

“Ready?” he asked, extending his arm for her to take.

“You tell me,” she answered a bit coyly, slipping her arm through his.

He made a show of looking her over. “Yeah. I’d say you’re picture perfect.” 

[gulgbtqplus]

Meet the Committee

We have 15 committee members who work together to run the society;

1. President: Chris, He/Him, president@gulgbtqplus.com

Hey! I’m Chris and I’m your president this year! I’m a second year student studying English Lit & Sociology, and I’m really excited to do some wonderful things with the society this year, it’s definitely one of my favourite things about university. I’ll be your first port of call if you have any general enquiries, ideas or requests for the society, but feel free to email me if you want some advice or to chat or meet up before an event too! We try to make our society as accessible and welcoming as possible, but I know that attending an event for the first time can be scary, so it is always good to know a friendly face.

Outside of the society you can mainly find me watching terrible romcoms, looking after my plants and tweeting bad jokes. I’m pretty noticeable out and about on campus as i’m always wearing dungarees and eternally glittery so don’t be afraid to say hi! (I’m nice I promise)

2. VP Secretary: Kit, They/Them, vpsecretary@gulgbtqplus.com

Howdy, I’m Nadia and I’m the Secretary VP! I’m a second year Scottish Literature student but I’ve changed my degree so many times that I may be studying something completely different by the time you’re reading this (basically I’m mainly at university for GULGBTQ+). In my free time I’m usually crafting, watching movies, and maintaining meticulous power points on the pets of US presidents. If you have any queries about anything to do with the society or you just want a chat feel free to email or drop me a message on facebook.

3. VP Treasurer: Finn, They/Them, vptreasurer@gultgbt.co.uk

Hey I’m Finn, I use they/them pronouns and I’m vp treasurer! The society is the only reason I ever leave the house, but I do supposedly study English Lit & History of Art. I’m very excited to be back on committee this year and hope I can do my best to keep the society from being as broke as I am xx

4. Events: Rachel, She/Her, events@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi everyone! I'm Rachel and I'm overly excited to be your Events Officer for this year. I study Theatre and Sociology and will be in my 4th year and writing my dissertation this coming year so please be kind to me. I have been a member of the Committee since my first year and I am overall just a huge gay. When I'm not being a queer activist you can find me at gigs, in charity shops, on the polo dance floor or drinking £3 wine. Let's be friends, feel free to add me on Facebook "Rachel Aitken" or drop me an email, I'm more than happy to meet up before an event if you're feeling nervous or want a gay clubbing partner in crime, I'm just back from studying abroad for a year in Australia so want to meet all the new faces I can! Also if you have any event suggestions pls hit me up xxx

5. Campaigns: Carlie, She/Her, campaigns@gulgbtqplus.com

Hello! I’m Carlie and I’m a second year student studying history and sociology. I can usually be found on the tenth floor of the library despairing about Tocqueville, but other than that I cross-stitch and try to keep all my house plants alive. Feel free to email me, or DM me on Twitter (@carliejas) about any campaigns you think we should support or just to give me gardening tips.

6. Welfare: Maddy, She/Her, welfare@gulgbtqplus.com

Maddy, pronouns she/her I’m a second year med student and I’m 24 I like playing rugby and meeting people’s pets, and I am very excited to be welfare officer this year I’m very open to questions and suggestions so feel free to drop me an email or come find me crying in the library

7. Publicity: Sera, She/Her, publicity@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi, my name is Sera, I’m 20, I’m very trans, and I’m the publicity officer. I am in 2nd year of a computer science degree and I am extremely online. My main interests are in tech and managing systems, as well as automation, and I do most of the behind-the-scenes work for the society that involves an internet connection

I run in a lot of hobby as well as LGBT circles and you’ll rarely find me off of social media, I have a twitter @seraxis and a discord Sera ♪#0573 where you can bother me as much as you’d like. I take ideas for social media campaigns and how to spread further awareness about LGBT issues around campus and through the society.

But most importantly: I never stop posting.

8. Women’s: Jemma, She/Her, womens@gulgbtqplus.com

Hey I'm Jemma, I'm a fourth year Virology student and I am really excited to be your women's officer for this year.  I love going to gigs, baking, creating memes that only about 4 people find funny and tweeting them, and most of all: the Boyd Orr. You be able find me at most main events as well as during Lesbian Coffee and Knit the Rainbow, the GULGBTQ+ crafting group that I’ll be running this year. This society has been very important to my time at university and I want others to have as good an experience as I did so if you want to chat or want to meet up before an event contact me via email. Hope we all have a gay old time this year!

9. Men’s: Quinn, He/Him, mens@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi, I’m Quinn and I’m your mens officer. I am going into my third year studying economic & social history and have been going to society events since I started uni although this is my first time on committee. I am here for all men, male-aligned and questioning members of the society. I spend most of my time trying to work, watching films and Netflix and I love spending time with new people – and dogs, dogs are great. If you have any queries, questions, ideas or concerns please feel free to contact me via email. I look forward to this being the best year yet!

10. Non-Binary: Niamh, They/Them, nonbinary@gulgbtqplus.com

hi, I'm Niamh and I'm the nonbinary officer! I'm 19 and in second year studying psychology & neuroscience. I've been in the society for a year now and hope to help make next year even better. As nonbinary officer I want to make sure everyone feels welcomed, so feel free to drop me a message if you want to meet up before an event or just have a chat! Outside of being gay my hobbies include art, clown makeup, new wave, and kendo. I look forward to spending time with you all next year, let's make it a good'n!

11. Trans & Intersex: Noah, He/Him, trans@gulgbtqplus.com

What's up, I'm Noah, I'm your trans and intersex officer! I'm currently studying maths (rip me) and I’m in second year. My job as trans and intersex officer is to represent all things gender related! My hobbies include playing the drums & guitar, and doing my signature dance moves in polo. I am open and friendly so if you want a chat or need anything feel free to contact me. I look forward to working on committee and meeting lots of new cool people!!

12. Bi/Pan: Michael, They/Them, bi@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi, I'm Michael your bi/pan officer for the year. I'm 21 and a biochemistry student in third year. I know - queer people in science! I'm shocked too! I look forward to meeting everyone at

bi/pan coffee (the coolest coffees, as voted by me).

My hobbies include a love of musical theatre, sci-fi, drinking and making a fool of myself for my friends. If you'd like to talk to me about literally anything you can use email, Facebook or twitter or pretty much any other social media cause that's where is spend most of my life anyway.

13. International Students: Bianca, She/Her, international@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi! I’m Bianca, and I’m the new international students’ officer! I’m a small, almost 19-year-old Italian who studies English Language and Linguistics & Theatre Studies. When I’m not crying about English phonetics, I’m probably binge-watching some (gay) show on Netflix, or getting more emotionally invested than I should in some (gay) book, while listening to the soundtrack of some (gay – but do I even need to say it?) musical. I’m a Gryffindor, I like horse riding, theatre and ice skating, and my one life aspiration is to one day ride a dragon. Or turn into a dragon and destroy my enemies. Either one works. I promise, I’m actually a nice and approachable person and I understand that moving to a new country can be overwhelming, so I’m ready to help you with whatever you need if you feel like you need advice on how to adapt to the terrible Scottish weather or you just want to chat about how un-comprehensible the Glaswegian accent is (trust me, we’ve all been there). Just send me an email! I’m also Italian, so I will probably gesture excitedly at you while we all get coffee together for the International Coffee that I’ll be running. I’m looking forward to meeting you all, and I hope you have a great (and gay) time in Glasgow!

14. Postgraduate & Mature Students: Prachi, She/Her, postmat@gulgbtqplus.com

Hello everyone! I’m Prachi and I am the Postgraduate and Mature students officer this year. I represent the slightly older members of the society. I will mainly be running the postgrad and mature student coffees this year, which is a great way to meet new people in the LGBTQ+ community! I am currently doing a Masters in Cancer Sciences. Other than spending time on school and the society, I also enjoy videogames, movies (huge Disney junkie!), music and just generally chilling with people. If you’d like to contact me, you can find me on Facebook or just shoot me an email anytime. Looking forward to meeting everyone!

15. First Year Ordinary Member: Emily, She/Her, firstyearom@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi! I'm your friendly local First Year Ordinary Member. My name is Emily and I'm a first year (surprise, surprise) Psychology student trying to work out my way around this strange Uni system. I enjoy drawing and painting, musical theatre, playing tabletop or video games, being a 'Mum friend', and making socially awkward jokes to hide when I'm nervous. I'll be spending this year joining all the societies that I've been told I HAVE to join in first year, trying to get on with the nine strangers I now live with, attempting to cook, clean and shop for myself, and also somehow keeping up with the work from three subjects which grade me in a way I've never seen before...

No pressure, right?

I hope you will join me in solidarity at First Year Coffee every other Tuesday and we can help each other navigate this strange new world of Glasgow University.

16. Asexual and Aromantic Officer: Summer, They/Them, asexual@gulgbt.co.uk

Hi, I’m Summer and I’m your aro/ace officer for the year! I’m a 21 year old computer science student so you’ll frequently find me programming and going on about Linux. When I’m not doing that I’ll probably be knitting, playing video games, running/planning tabletop rpgs, or watching martial arts movies (or talking incessantly about any of the above)! As aro/ace officer I’m here for everyone who identifies as any variety of asexual and/or aromantic (a/grey/demi/etc), as well as anyone questioning anything at all related. Drop me a message if you want to chat, and I look forwards to a great year with you all!

[halloweenfor]

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