#I must work on school stuff but 👀 I am still Thinking

[netherfeildren]

I've noticed you're also from the Reylo fandom 👀 and I know this question doesn't have anything to do with Pedro or Joel but, do you have any Reylo fic recommendations?

hell yeah I do. something u all must know about me and that which may come as a surprise given how much of a Joel girl I am is that ben solo is my character of all time! OF. ALL .TIME. like I love Joel that's my old man but I AM ben solo if ben solo were a teenage girl in her 20s ok ok ok

fic recs below !!!!! (there's a lot sorry)

starting off easy with like the most famous reylo author of all time diasterisms now our very own published author everything she's ever written but especially and specifically sword of the Jedi duology like young gods and to kingdom come like actually forreal some of the greatest Star Wars canonverse ever written but also of course landscape with a blur of conquerors which has now been taken down but which you can NOW BUY AS A NOVEL the hurricane wars !!!! but if you ever read the fic you know it was one of the greatest to ever live truly. I also love the heart break prince which is her Harry Potter star wars mashup like truly just some great stuff

go I know not whither and fetch I know not what by voicedimplosives like also another uber famous one bc if you're a reylo then you undoubtedly know the significance of the red Adidas track suit and THE YEAR IS 1994 THE IRON CURTAIN HAS COME DOWN

a manner of virtue by neonheartbeat one of my most favorite a/b/o's and like a Tarzan mashup but also this author is wonderful and spectacular and has such immense range I'd check everything of theirs out

kohelet 3:16 (call me a cab) by LinearA indescribably beautiful and real and remarkable. it has a stairwell sex scene that still years later I thin of often

the island effect by anonymous - dark fic mind the tags. unfinished. one of the greatest things I've ever read just like idk the exploration of desire/ gender politics/ dystopia, a must read even though the last two chapters were never posted

can't turn off what turns me on by audreyii_fic another very fun very steamy a/b/o if that's your thing. rey and ben lend themselves so well to the whole a/b/o trope in a way that I've not found many other ships do as well

literally everything by somethingdifferent but most especially (won't you let me) walk you home from school also sugar pill goddamn 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 it's been years since I read it and I still think of it often - mind the tags

secretreylotrash has a truly impressive body of work, so many of their pieces are so so good - I've not read everything but definitely one to check out

vuas another very impressive body of work - dark fic abounds, mind the tags but truly very gorgeous gorgeous writing

my heart belongs by tendereye and also everything else they've ever written - mind the tags !

ElegyGoldsmith writes some pretty dark stuff but fucking phenomenal work too, mind the tags

cream by animal. like ok it sounds crazy but genuinely one of the most gorgeous fics ever written and I'm saying that with my whole chest

kalx58 gorgeous body of work again, everything of theirs is phenomenal

ohwise1ne everything everything all of it spectacular

PoetHrotsvitha there are no words actually read all of it

mzladybird do yourself a favor and read the lot of it even the non reylo fandoms it's all art

ok that's it for now and sorry I took so long to respond and also that this is so long but now you all can bear witness to the fact that I am indeed an avid fic reader!

and posting this on the perfect day bc hbd to kylo ren himself THE BIG 4-0 DADDY

[theflyingfeeling]

☀️ "it's always sunny in Stockholm" ☀️

aka a concert report from Fryshuset Klubben, Stockholm, 1.3.2023

Travelling to our final destination (Stockholm city centre) did not go without hassle (wrong gate at the airport, delays with the commuter train to the city centre, trouble figuring out the venue etc., BC would've been proud!) but everything did work out eventually and we were in good spirits! 🥰

Speaking of the venue, I think none of us would've foreseen that listening to that one song in 2021 would lead us to hang out in the backyard of some random school in Stockholm, but that's where we were, and had good laughs there too :') <3

The venue was small intimate and not full, which to us in the audience was great (it wasn't cramped nor too hot), although for BC's sake I would've hoped there would've been a little bigger turn-up (especially considering at least half of the audience were Finnish fans 😂). They didn't seem to mind though; the show was as 🔥����🔥🔥🔥🔥 as their shows always are

But before I talk about the show, I must once more advertise the support act! Not gonna lie, I had a minor heart attack when hours before the gig, BC posted an IG story starting with the words "due to an illness...", because them cancelling the gig would've been just the cherry on the top of the day we had had already, but it thankfully was Eyes Wide Open that had had to cancel at last minute. A band called Those Without was asked to fill in and boy am I thankful for the universe for this!! 😭🙏 They were so damn good!! I remember listening to their first song and going "huh! this ain't that bad actually" and wondering if it's just that one song, but no, all the other ones they played were great as well, which made me so happy 💖 It was a little funny when the band came on though; they just walked to the stage very unceremoniously and we weren't quite sure whether they were still doing the preperations until they started playing 😂 The singer was cute af, the bassist sang a bit, they were so chill and SO GRATEFUL to be there and just kept thanking BC for this opportunity and us the audience for being so nice to them, and all I wanted to scream was "no, thank YOU!!" because they really made my little punk pop/rock heart burst with love 🥺 If you're into early Mayday Parade / The Maine / Yellowcard -esque stuff, definitely check them out!

Blind Channel was Blind Channel, meaning they were wonderful amazing brilliant and it was great seeing them again 💞 We were ~4th row, there were a few tall people directly in front of us but at least I ended up having a great view to the stage in the end. The stage was high enough and close enough to the audience for me to be able to see their tattoos in detail and I remember admiring Joel's heart tattoo and Olli's three swords (god bless the inventor of sleeveless shirts eh? 🥵)

Random moments I remember include Olli falling asleep/zoning out during Autopsy (he didn't look up at the "HEY!!" part, or maybe he just forgot 😂 (I have video proof lol)) and Joel doing the tiniest snake dance during Snake (it looked like he wasn't going to do it, but then he couldn't help himself, I hope someone captured this 🥺🙏) + the moments in the videos I've posted

They're all so gorgeous but Olli 😩😩😩😩😩 he's so fucking beautiful I have a scheduled meltdown about it on a normal day, but during the show it's just 💦💦💦💦💦💦 all the time 💀 he trousers he was wearing were so tight cool and the sleeveless shirt had me by the pussy swooning 🫠

Flatline is awesome live, including the silly dance, even if in the audience you can't do it as "big" as you're supposed to. No bruise on my left tiddy though, I guess it takes more than one concert for one to appear, so BC should maybe consider wearing some padding on their chests for that 😆👀

After the gig we had an "after party" in a rock bar somewhere in Stockholm (not sure which district). I think here it's relevant to mention that in the queue there was this nice Swedish metal dude standing behind us and probably unwillingly listening to us as we were speaking a merry mix of English and Finnish, and eventually he started chatting with us and ended up joining us inside the venue and even showing us the way to one of his favourite bars when we asked for recs and he also came in for a few drinks with us despite having work the next day (he had also been at the venue the day before to see Sleeping With Sirens and was still wearing the same makeup from that gig 😂👌)

At the same bar there was also Henrik from Amaranthe (who none of us would've recognized if the Swedish metal dude hadn't started fangirling about him 😂)

All in all I had such a fun time on this 24-hour trip and I'm so happy I decided to go. Some of you know how stressed out I was about it; I'm so thankful to anyone who had to listen to me rant my heart out about it. I'm happy to tell you that the experience I had was totally worth it <3

Thank you so incerdibly much to all you guys who were with me at any point of this trip, it wouldn't have been the same without you (you all know who you are <3). Sorry if I was obnoxious or laughed too loudly, but I had such a shit weekend behind me and I was just so happy to get to see my favourite band and to hang out with all of you lovely people that I couldn't contain my excitement. Being there really meant so much to me, because this band and the community we have built around it truly is one of the few lights at the end of the never-ending tunnel I often get lost in. I know this sounds silly and I'm probably being selfish but it made me so sad when BC said they won't be doing that many shows in Finland this summer. Yes, I completely understand that they're aiming for an international career and I'm fully supporting their plans to take over the world (I'm not one of those Finnish fans), and yes, I am aware that as a Finnish fan I'm immensely priviledged as it is and that I've had many more opportunities to see them than most fans living elsewhere have had. This may sound pathetic (or at least I feel pathetic about it), but I really don't have much else going on for me other than BC and everything related to it (nothing that gives me as much serotonin, that is), and if I don't get to see them next summer... I don't know what I'll do. Summers are a bit difficult for me for a variety of reasons, and last summer with all the BC shows was such a blessing, a wonderful distraction from my sad life and the fact that I'm nowhere near where I want to be, and I'm not sure if I can handle another lonely, grey summer and feeling like a failure every waking moment after having experienced all the fun last summer 💔

...so I guess I'm going on a road-trip around Europe next summer 🤔 Who's with me? 😌

[monkeybell]

The opening is ok. Sounds more like something Disney would have as an opening ngl but it’s also not as bad as people make it out to be. Seriously guys, you can just… skip the opening if you don’t like it? It’s not like they be strapping you down to a chair and forcing you to watch it on repeat 🫥

There’s crystal turtle

Ok this falling off buildings/jumping is getting old. I’m sorry but I have to say it. Please tell me this doesn’t happen often after the first few episodes

Liko really likes the moon. Wouldn’t she work better as a SM protagonist since one of the legends is literally a moon Pokémon thing? /j. But hey, maybe that means we get Lunala content 👀

Ok I like Murdock’s voice

“Who are you people?” “Why, we are the people who have been stalking your school and fellow classmates!”

Fuecoco! Fuecoco! It’s the little guy! I guess Fuecoco will have to substitute for Oshawott’s absence

Aw little cuties pooties <3. If there’s one thing this new series has kept, it’s keeping the Pokémon adorable as fuck. I want one! 😭

ARE WE SERIOUSLY ALMOST HALFWAY THROUGH THIS EPISODE TOO?! Why are these rushing through the hell

Can’t tell if Snorunt is shaking because that’s it natural thing to do or if it’s scared but either way I will protect you!

YOO CAP! Let’s go!

Oh yes, we must head into the fucking thunderstorm. Bro I would rather go back to school than stick with these adrenaline junkies 😭

Fuecoco “helping” out Charizard 🥹

Does Murdock have Corsola branches on his shirt? Or are they supposed to be flames? Either way I like his overall love. Congratulations Murdock, you may be my next favorite character! 🥳👏🏻

Cute eye catchers. I’m not ready to say goodbye to Liko’s school uniform. It’s an underrated look and I honestly think I like it better than her casual look

The poor Pokémon! I want to comfort them! 😭 Am I really about to cry over them? Maybe…

Classic main character doing the main character thing and giving themselves up. Please writers, don’t let Liko become a mary sue

Friede sounds like a dad. And I don’t mean because of his personality I mean because he sounds like he’s peaking mid 40s

Yay badass ceruledge is back! Man I sure hope he doesn’t become a constant punching bag alongside his trainer 🙃

Trainers: *recklessly battling*

Move: *misses and hits something that could have serious consequences*

Trainers: *shocked cap pikachu*

Damn Sprig is pissed at Liko. Wait.. Liko has been lying to herself? About what? I’m so confused and this is only episode two dear lord

Am I the only one who would save the Pokémon instead of the person? .-.

Ok and that’s the end of episode two! So my overall thoughts on the show atm is that it’s ok. It has a lot of potential but it’s also rushing a lot and I’m still salty with how they tossed aside Ann and also the school. It wouldn’t have killed them to give it more screen time and have Liko learn stuff there but that’s just me. Also feel I need to say this but these are just my opinions on the show and stuff. Please don’t kill me. See you guys next time for episodes 3 and 4!

[skippydiesposting]

Cam u give us some recs of Weird And Good Stuff? 👀

absolutely I can! I've been sitting on this ask for a few days because I wanted to give it the attention that it deserves and it's got me thinking a lot about the things that I personally consider "Good" and/or "Weird" stuff.

this is especially interesting to think about as someone who has Very Specific media tastes and did not exactly grow up exposed to the most mainstream stuff: I was raised by 90s hipsters, homeschooled, then went to an alternative school, and have only lived in one city/only worked at one institution my whole life--all of these were/have been great experiences for me, however I understand that this means I do not exactly have the best idea of what constitutes mainstream or popular media. I definitely have the tendency to lean towards pretentiousness/snobbery (as I have been told), in part because it seems to me that, by definition, the things that are part of the mainstream have less depth and heart to them than the obscure things; the things I have fallen in love with, by and large, are the obscure things. I have been confounded my whole life by the experience of coming across beautiful, meaningful works of art and then being baffled when nobody else is talking about them, as well as the mirrored experience of being exposed to the mainstream and being completely unable to understand what people are getting out of it. (are obscure and weird the same thing? something else to think about.)

that being said, I don't think any of these things are the Weirdest it gets. but they are certainly things beyond the general public "mainstream" consciousness, and they are defintely things that I think deserve more recognition as great works of art. just keep in mind I am aware that it does get a lot weirder and more obscure than this.

also, of course it's easiest to give recommendations if I already know the taste of the person I am recommending things to, so all of this will depend on your own personal taste, especially where music and books are concerned. but regardless, here are a bunch of my favorite Weird/Good things:

books:

-if you know me or have been following me at all, you already know about this but I'm gonna have to plug Skippy Dies. most perfectly constructed/researched/executed/painful book of all time. I will recommend it until my dying breath. this is one of those things that seems so exemplary of the genre that I absolutely cannot believe is not more well-known. however, I did also just read Paul Murray's third novel, the Mark and the Void, and that's something I can absolutely recommend as well. I think it's weirder than Skippy Dies, at least in that it heavily revolves around the metafictional and recursive idea that the author, Paul, has created a fictionalized version of himself as a character in the story who is himself trying to write the book that eventually will become the book itself. it's incredibly funny and smart and bizarre. also you will learn a lot about investment banking.

-I also must recommend the book that I was obsessed with before Skippy Dies, and though it wasn't to the same extent, it's still a wonderful novel that more people should read: Everything Matters! by Ron Currie Jr. it's similar in theme/message to Skippy Dies but much shorter and less complex. (the cover illustration was my first tattoo. I still love it, I just love Skippy Dies more. this book feels like my amicably divorced spouse.)

-Daniel Handler is well-known under his pen name Lemony Snicket as the author of the Series of Unfortunate Events, but his adult novels under his real name are fantastic, especially The Basic Eight. it's a kind of a satire of 90s true-crime tell-alls: think Heathers but self-referential and about snobby teenagers who are obsessed with poetry and theater. fantastic book. one of the best plot twists of all time. I also liked his book Watch Your Mouth: super weird story about incest and Jewish mysticism kind of told through the narrative of an opera.

-Steve Erickson is one of my favorite authors overall, and surprisingly few people know about him. his novels often have an element of surreal realism/magical realism, but it doesn't play too much into the plot; weird things are mentioned offhand and then not really treated as weird. there's a fair amount of historical fiction, and it's also common for his plot threads/characters to show up in multiple novels; he even does the metafictional thing of sometimes having himself appear as a character. my favorites of his are probably These Dreams of You and the Sea Came in at Midnight. But they're all lovely and most are interconnected in some way.

-Nancy Huston is another one of my favorite authors who people don't know about, though she seems to have more traction in Canada. I love her writing style and her stories are very character-focused, often about darkly intimate relationships and tensions between parents and children. these might be harder to find, but my favories are Instruments of Darkness and Slow Emergencies.

-Tom Robbins is fairly well-known, but if you haven't read him I highly recommend it. there's no one in the world writing like Tom Robbins; he's an excellent satirist without leaning into the cynical, and his novels are bizarre and hilarious while also seemingly to impart some kind of deep truths about humanity. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues is a classic, but they're all wonderful. I particularly liked Still Life With Woodpecker.

-George Saunders is also fairly well-known these days, but he's an excellent excellent writer. Weird funny true sometimes-satire. I recommend his short story collection Tenth of December.

-very well known but Geek Love (Katherine Dunn) is a masterpiece of the weird and disturbing. everything that AHS:Freakshow could have been.

-I really enjoyed Ben Lerner's recent book the Topeka School; like many things on this list, it's metafiction/autofiction, very strongly based on his life but through a fictionalized lens. it's a beautifully structured book, and you'll learn a lot about debate club and poetry.

-Jenny Offill's books Department of Speculation and Weather are both delicious little nuggets of insightful and concise observations. super short and super beautiful. they'll make you want to write more.

-Jamie Iredell wrote a small press book in the past couple years called The Fat Kid. I adored it. disturbing and surreal look into the ways that men destroy each other; an exploration of toxic masculinity without misogyny. highly reccomend.

-another gorgeous small press book: memoir called What About the Rest of Your Life by Sung Yim

-Amelia Gray writes wonderfully strange short stories. I love her collections Gutshot and AM/PM.

-Nell Zink is another recent author who I always jump at the chance to read. similar to Steve Erickson, her books always feel like a strange mix of surreal and realistic. I really liked Mislaid and Doxology.

-Maggie Nelson wrote a book called Bluets that I love, a meditation on being in love with the color blue. she also wrote the somewhat-more-well-known book the Argonauts, which is part memoir part queer theory. very good.

-Leni Zumas is one of the best weird authors around. her stories are always very visceral and surreal. all her stuff is good: her short story collection is Farewell Navigator, and her novels are The Listeners and Red Clocks

-Carmen Maria Machado has also gained some traction in the last couple years, and deserves it. she's an excellent horror writer; an expert at making normal things feel unsettling and threatening. she has a short story collection, Her Body and Other Parties, as well as a memoir, In the Dream House, which is about her experience being trapped in an abusive queer relationship. it's so fucking good.

(pro tip: get an epub reader on your phone. libgen.is your friend.)

music:

-They Might Be Giants have been good and weird since the 80s, and continue to be just as good and just as weird. they have a massive discography, so if you're unfamiliar with them, start with the album Flood. or just start from the beginning. it's literally all good.

-most of these fall into post-punk/indie rock; some of my favorite lesser known bands in this category include Mighty, Weatherbox, Krill, Hop Along, and Shoe

https://youtu.be/S1ZBkmA-kS4

https://youtu.be/iH7WqUBVRDs

https://youtu.be/iX3dItyNnyA

-Pile is a post-punk/post-hardcore band that never gets enough love. genius writing, beautiful riffs, some of the best screaming around. another one of my tattoos.

https://youtu.be/XSJ6xdhClVU

-Fat History Month is delightful and lo-fi, if that's your thing: https://youtu.be/RtsAP0fdOXE

-not particularly weird per se, but not enough people know about Sir Chloe. their new album is flawless. it's just good music.

https://youtu.be/3x554vRA9Ic

-Man Man is delightfully catchy and weird:

-the co-creator of one of my favorite shows (Venture Bros) is now the guitarist in a band called Pageant Girls, and their first album is great. minor-key 80s synth ballad rock.

https://youtu.be/Zd9H_9BXsYA

-WHY? is hard to describe--experimental indie alternative hip hop?--but it's definitely weird. start with the album Alopecia.

https://youtu.be/acJ3hiRxWUk

-mewithoutYou is another of my favorites; strange tempos and spoken-word vocals and excellent screaming. probably the best band ever to see live. every album is good, but probably start with Ten Stories

movies and tv:

-most of my favorite movies are indie slice-of-life dramas about someone slowly having a mental breakdown. Magnolia is the epitome of this. also: most surprising twist in a movie you will ever see.

-all of Charlie Kaufman's movies are fucking weird. Synecdoche New York, Being John Malkovich, and Adaptation are among the weirdest.

-well-known, but stil weird and good: Donnie Darko

-my favorite lesser-known filmmaker is Mike Mills. his movies are Thumbsucker, Beginners, and 20th Century Women (i think he has a newer one as well) and all are excellent if you like slow, poignant indie dramas as much as I do

-a pair of Amazon shows that I don't think get enough attention: I Love Dick and Patriot.

-Venture Bros is the best animated television show of all time, and not enough people know about it. you gotta stick through the first couple seasons but I promise it's worth it.

-Fargo (the show, not the movie) isn't really obscure but it is really good. every season is a different set of characters and set in a different time period, but they're all interconnected. mostly centered on organized crime and the interpersonal shenanigans that come with that. it really seems like tumblr would be more into this show. season 2 and season 4 are the best ones, but you can watch any of them in any order.

podcasts:

I could recommend podcasts literally all day but here are some of the weirdest ones:

-Love + Radio: interviews with some of the most interesting, strange and controversial subjects. the editing is also wonderfully bizarre. I recommend the episode

-Appearances is another one of those things which is a semi-fictionalized retelling. it's about a woman trying to find the right partner to have a baby with while also dredging through the family drama of her past. beautiful and emotional.

-the Memory Palace: short vignettes about history. will make you feel serene and deeply connected to your fellow humans

-the Ballad of Billy Balls: part memoir, part mystery(that actually has a satisfying conclusion!) iO Tillet Wright tries to find the body of his mom's first love who was murdered by the police. incredibly touching and wonderfully produced.

-all of Jamie Loftus' podcasts: My Year in Mensa, Aack Cast, Lolita Podcast, Ghost Church. (she also had a book come out recently, Raw Dog, which I haven't read yet but looks amazing)

video essay(ists):

-along with the more well-known video essayists like Contrapoints and Defunctland, I also gotta shout out CJ the X, who makes excellently researched and chaotic videos about a variety of topics. one of my favorites: https://youtu.be/JuKbDpPAooE

unfortunately I'm not a huge video gamer--I mostly just play pokemon ROM hacks on my phone, which I guess is weird--so I don't have many recommendations on that front. (but also everyone should play Wingspan.)

however, Twine is a wonderful (free!) program you can use to make html games and I know that itch.io hosts a lot of them. so if you're interesting in making games, definitely play around with that.

well. this is way long and maybe I should have made it into a few separate posts. let me know if you have trouble accessing any of this stuff. and tell me if you check any of it out! I want to talk about all of it! and thanks for sending this ask, I love to write about all the weird brilliant things that I like :)

[irritablepoe]

WAIT IM ALSO CURIOUS is there any poetry or maybe a poetry collection you really like??? IT JUST ENTERED MY MIND WHILE I WAS USING MY LIT BLOG PLS FEEL FREE TO IGNORE HSUWHSUWHS

THANK YOU FOR ASKING TOBI AND I'M SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG! i was thinking which i would pick as favs and then i went to reread them all and then i forgot about this and then i reread them again💀 anyways, i made a short list and wrote a lil bit of why i like it ig?

sooooo, i only have 5 collections:

rachel oates: reflections on healing

the poems of nakahara chuuya

kurt tucholsky: zwischen gestern und morgen (verbatim translation: between yesterday and tomorrow)

berklie novak-stolz: lazarus rises (amongst other things) (idk if you know her from tt maybe, she's really cool and does fandom stuff!)

the poems of edgar allan poe

i have other online books as well but these are like collected works from multiple mostly german poets yk :3

ok i'm probably forgetting so many poems but i'll try to list as many as i can that i really like (a few will be german tho and idk how to translate them really but i'll try if i use direct quotes)

Herr von Ribbeck auf Ribbeck im Havelland - Fontane: someone will hit me for this bc it's such a silly poem about a dude that has a pear tree and on his death bed he says to lay a pear into his grave and ofc a pear tree grows out of it and continues his tradition of giving away pears. and idk it's such a nice thing to think about like your good actions can be carried on after death? it's very nice

The Haunted palace - Poe: reminds me so much of that one short story i wrote in which i personify the house, otherwise i just love poe's flowiness in his poems so so much

continuing with Poe - The city in the sea: oof such feeling of doom, it cannot be compared

A dream within a dream -Poe: there's a reason this is my header, idk why it scratches my brain so much

The Raven - Poe: i don't think i have to explain that one it's just a classic

just like Annabel Lee -Poe, god i'm in love with this poem

Zum Lazarus - Heine: reminds me of Ivan Karamazov, i don't think i can explain it well but it's kind of a criticism of guessing and hypothesizing in regards to god when we don't know what he's up to?

Sonnet 112 - Shakespeare: i'm sorry, but i might as well be frothing at the mouth at "you are so strongly in my purpose bred, that all the world besides methinks are dead"

same with sonnet 139 - Shakespeare

shakespeare in general ig?

(in the collection:) XXIII - Berklie novak-stolz: i mean "hope is a feathered thing i thought to be lost" COME ON!!

III - Berklie novak-stolz: "these words must be pried from my teeth" again. i have no words.

shame - nakahara chuuya: "why, oh why, this shame?" sfskdfhksdhk at this point i can't be coherent anymore i suppose; i've not read many of his works yet but i'm excited to read them

Loreley - Heine: captain is so mesmerized by a woman he sends his ship into the ocean; a classic, very nice, very enjoyable read

der spinnerin nachtlied - brentano (translation: the spinners (?) lullaby)

goethe and schiller are ofc very good poets but idk i haven't been hit in the face by them yk (at least not yet? or maybe school has made me immune to their writings idk, i did like faust a lot tho)

die brück' am tay - fontane

fontane in general has made some nice poems but i'm a bit traumatized by john maynard, like yeah good hero man and stuff but i can't take this serious anymore when i still hear my classmates and me singing that poem

elizabeth barrett browning!! probably especially "my heart and i", i've not read much of hers tho

okay that's like a good overview of what i like :3 again, sorry it took so long and this isn't nearly as long as i'd hoped it to be, but maybe i remember a poem or two later on that i've forgot to mention?

now i wanna know what yours are tho, if you have any👀

[insomnaticwilmon]

you said you had some stories about your ex you really wanted to tell? (if you’re comfortable with that, ofc- feel free to ignore this)

Edit: THIS IS LONG AS FUCK IM SO SORRY- don’t read unless you want trauma(?) dumping about my ex :) this was a straight up therapy session, I broke all the “don’t trauma dump on the internet” rule. I apologize. Still posting it tho. Good luck :)

👀 which ex- the one I was talking about was my most recent, our relationship lasted a year and a half, we met online and met about 8 months or so in our relationship maybe less, I saw her twice in a matter of a year and a half, both for a week at a time I stayed at her house on whatever break I had available at the time, I think it was fall break and winter. SO NOW THAT BACKGROUND IS OVER.

She had a HUGE issue with me going to school- like any time I talked about it she was mad, any time I talked about wanting to go to college she would try and convince me not to go saying it was useless and it would be idiotic to go because education doesn’t matter because you die either way. We didn’t have many issues (at least ones that were brought up at the time we dated) but this was one of them. Just… me going to school. When I would try talking about it she said VERBATIM “don’t talk about school it makes me sad.” Because she dropped out.

Another was me working. I started worked at 16 and I’m 18 now. 17 when we broke up. I started working and applying to jobs when we were dating, this was when we started to have issues. I’d text her at work, I’d call at school but it never seemed to be enough, she needed to have all of my time or it wasn’t enough. It was getting to the point when I would literally count the minutes of the day I had alone. I still remember. 10 in the morning, 7 when I walked to work, if she didn’t call, and maybe 15 minutes before she called when I got home. This wouldn’t of been an issue but whenever I wanted to go to a school event or work an extra hour or just go out with friends it became a fight and I isolated myself so bad that my friends legitimately held a literal intervention. Sat me down and told me something had to change because I wasn’t my self anymore.

The next thing was therapy. She had.. issues which I won’t share on the internet but they were major and she needed help, something I couldn’t provide her, that I was probably too young to handle at the time, honestly anyone would be too young to handle, including her. Anyway 💅🏻 there were always two sides, I didn’t have it bad enough to need therapy and I shouldn’t go and that she needed it for years and never got it and I just got it when I asked for it OR that I was bipolar and impulsive,m and “crazy” when I did stuff like dye my hair or hang out with friends.

Lol this is long as fuck I’m sorry-

When I tried to tell her that I was gender whatever the fuck I am. Basically tried telling her I wanted to buy a binder and she told me as soon as the words left my mouth that she just couldn’t handle that and it was too much for her.

There was other things like this, like I was expected to handle everything she threw at me and basically got into trouble when I couldn’t handle her breakdowns or mental issues and tried my best but didn’t know what to do, but she always told me my depression or anxiety was nothing and there was no reason for me to have them. And when she told me I didn’t have enough trauma, and then I told her more, she said it was too upsetting to hear.

Also I’m 99% sure she cheated on me. She definitely emotionally cheated on me but I think she also slept with someone else.

WHICH IS JUST A WHOLE OTHER STORY, should I tell it? Hmmmm? Ask me if you want me to share it idc I will. No filter. Not one.

She slept with someone else 12 hours after we broke up and then called me crying about how this other girl didn’t like her and how bipolar she must be because “how can you sleep with someone but not like them.” And how much she liked her and then I asked why the hell she was talking to me about this when we had JUST broken up. We broke up, I went to bed, got to work and she called me doing this- it was weird. She also stayed at her house for two or three days before this happened 🫠

Some other stuff that didn’t bother me as much is that she smoked and did drugs, she’s actually the one who introduced me to weed. But she did it in excess, like every 30 minutes she would get high, every few hours she would smoke a cigarette, every other night she would drink. Her and her friends would get smashed. She was 16-18 when I knew her.

ALSO WE WATCHED YOUNG ROYALS TOGETHER AFTER WE BROKE UP, I WATCHED IT LIKE FIVE TIMES BEFORE THAT BUT WE LIKED IT TOGETHER AND I HATE THAT.

she also texted me 6 months after we broke up saying I was a dumb bitch.

The funny part is my first girlfriend, my other ex, WAY WORSE 🥴

I have some wild ass hookup stories too. I’m bored and willing to share everything on the internet so WHY NOT-

I feel as if you were probably looking for fun light hearted stories- sorry anon! I think I have some if I look hard enough in my file cabinet brain!

[blazingstarship]

1, 4, and 11 for the questions that make you think? 👀

— @dark-magical-ships 💙

HEEYYYY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING IN DEAR @dark-magical-ships!!!💙💙💙

1. How does your F/O respond to seeing you hurt or upset? Do they act caring, immediately go into “who do I have to beat up” mode, or both?

Yusei tries to make contact with me and offers comfort first with words. He doesnt like it when Im upset and mostly when I am upset its easily been helped by just saying sweet things to me or an affectionate hug or snuggle time. Yusei cares and want to get whatever makes me upset or hurt me go away. He sure is also the type when he sees a bruise on my body he immediately asks “What happen, who did this?”

Im just like “Honest I have no idea. One day there is nothing and the other day well tada a blue spot. Tho it matches with my eyes dont ya think?”

Joke aside, when someone dares to lay a finger on me, Yus would go “touch her and I knock you out.” And he will.

4. Does your F/O prefer sunny days or rainy days? What about you? Do your preferences match? How do you both handle these days? What do you do together on either of these days?

Yusei doesnt prefer sunny or rainy, specially with duels like no matter the weather its always time for a duel.

Uhmmm tho sunny days (with a normal temperature) is very nice to do stuff outside like driving (I prefer sunny day driving) and walking and outside dates. But with rainy days I like to be mostly inside and just relax. Yusei just works inside and on his runner or repair works he does once in a while and Im just doing my own thing in the same area, and we end up doing something together inside like baking cookies, watch a movie and play the game old fashion way (no disks, no runners…just old school). It kinda became our thing during rainy days.

11. Does your F/O have any creative hobbies? If so, what are they? If you have similar hobbies, do you and your F/O encourage each other or work together at all?

Yusei really likes to create things from scarps and I must say I am impressed how he can make out from all those junk stuff something awesome and functional. While he is great with working with metal and computers, I think he would like to know how to do woodcraft. Im sure he would make wonderful things… We once made something together from scraps and it has a place in our forever home…well our forever garage.

Im more of the type that likes to draw, traditional and digital. I have asked Yus to draw something since he can design whole runners and concepts of engineering. Surprising he isnt such a bad artist, a hidden talent tho! I have asked him to draw me or us together but thats still on hold but not off the table. Tho I have an idea he made a sketch of me but hes just too shy to show or think its not perfect yet.

[jeyramarie]

Rewrite the stars- Jonathan Daviss x reader

Summary: After escaping a very traumatic childhood, y/n finds solace in someone she never thought would take a second glance at her...

wc: 1,337

Note: This will be dealing with triggering things such as abuse, childhood trauma, and other of the sort. If you feel uncomfortable by any of these please do not put yourself through that.

a/n: NEW FIC ALERT PEOPLE!! this is written with my good friend @ilovefandoms102 and we’re really excited to see the feedback 👀 we really hope you guys like it. happy reading everyone 🦋

=========================================

(gif credit: @jos-march )

Running, that’s all I could focus on at this current moment…

I could still hear the screams from my parents behind me as I willed my feet to keep moving. I felt the air searing through my lungs as I could feel the blood trickling down my hairline, my punishment for not getting my father a beer fast enough. I could see my breath as I exhaled, this night being particularly chilly. All I had with me were the clothes on my back along with my beat up converse that seemed to be the only constant in my life.

I promised myself that I would do anything and everything to make it out of this town. Away from my parents, away from everyone in this godforsaken place. No matter what I had to do, no matter the sacrifices, the pain (not like I hadn’t endured enough already), I was getting out of this hellhole.

My name is Y/N and this is my story...

I threw myself into my school work, determined to make the best possible grades to make it to the top of my class. I constantly stayed after school to make sure my homework, essays, you name it, were at their best.

The one thing I kept for myself was my art, it was something that was completely mine. There were days I would sneak into the school hours before anyone got here to draw. It let me escape the shitty reality that is my life. The haze of colors really let my sights flow through the page in front of me, the darkness of shadings providing the comfort of a warm hug. I’m not sure what I did in my past life to piss someone off, but it must have been bad to be where I am now. A 17 year old high schooler with an alcoholic father and a drugatic for a mother. I couldn’t remember a time that my parents were ever sober, astonished from an outside perspective that they even kept me when I was born. My parents sure liked to let me know however, that I was the biggest mistake in their life. My lovely mother has even said that she had wished she would have gotten an abortion, not letting me live the amazing life they have provided me with (note the sarcasm).

A year later, I graduated the top of my class with the highest marks my school had ever seen. I managed to get a full ride to an Ivy league school for art and design, something I had always dreamed of. I moved out to LA, worlds away from the place I used to call home. Now that I think about it though...was it ever really my home?

=========================================

After I graduated college, Netflix had reached out to me to join their costume designing team. I had a masters in Arts with a focus on Costumes and Theatre design. One of my professors I had grown close to sent in some of my work, and they were taken away with my talent.

What sucked is that I had no one to share the good news with. Since I came out to LA, I threw myself into my studies, and I never bothered to make any new friends. I simply packed my stuff, and made my way to LAX to take the next plane to Charleston, SC. They were filming a new show called Outer Banks. They told me it was focused on a group of teenagers out to solve a mystery after finding a sunken boat.

I was one of the youngest costume designers that Netflix had ever hired, while it was a boost to my ego, I was just happy to be able to show my art on television. Jonas was one of the first people I had met on the team, and I was immediately drawn to his natural sense of humor. I got to meet the rest of the cast, they were amazing. My thoughts lingered to the boy who would be playing Pope, Johnathan.

“Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Johnathan, but everyone calls me JD.” he smiled, reaching out his hand to shake mine. I couldn’t deny the spark that shot through my fingers, up my arm, and sent a shiver down my spine.

“Y/N, great to meet you.” I spoke, my hand nervously grasping on to his rather large one.

As we began filming, I grew close friendships with each of the cast members. I kept to myself most of the time, only talking to other crew members if I had to. I spent a lot of time with JD and Rudy since they seemed to have the most wardrobe malfunctions.

“Y/n…” an all too familiar voice called. I turned to see JD with an adorable pout on his face, holding up the pair of shorts that I had just sewed not even two days ago.

“I think at this point you’re just making excuses to come see me.” I teased, the man looking

down at his feet as if he’d been caught in the act.

“I also ripped my shorts, again.” Rudy yelled, his aviators sitting low on his nose.

“I hope whoever y’all marry knows how to sew.” I sighed, taking a seat at my sewing machine.

“Rudy doesn’t even have the courage to talk to the girl he likes!” JD teased, Rudy’s face flushing as he grumbled something under his breath.

“Oh yeah? Someone I know?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“It’s the girl we met at the club a few weeks ago, had brown curlyish hair, and really short.” JD recalled, my memory spiking of the cute southerner we met who was here on vacation.

“Oh Caity? Yeah she’s adorable, love her accent. We have actually been talking a lot, we’re basically besties now.” I grinned.

“Rudy has a crush on her and won’t shoot his shot.” JD rolled his eyes.

“It’s not that I just...I’m afraid she doesn’t feel the same, and I live in LA. She lives hours away from here.” the blonde sighed.

“Take some advice from a girl Ru, don’t let this get in the way if you really like her. Y’all can work out the long distance if you really want to make things work. Don’t let this opportunity slip, for all you know, she could be the one. I can put a word in if you’d like.” I shrugged, pushing up my glasses that fell down my nose.

“I think JD should take his own advice.” Rudy quipped, looking between the two of us.

It wasn’t a secret that JD and I were closer than most, our personalities seemed to click more than the others. I felt my cheeks heat up as I went back to work, throwing Rudy’s shorts at him when I was finished with his. JD sat closer to me as I got to work on his shorts, his gaze scorching my skin. I squirmed under its intensity, feeling my breathing pick up the harder he stared.

“Staring is rude Johnathan,” I mumbled, smirking when JD snapped out of whatever daze he was in.

“Sorry, I just…” he trailed off.

“No worries, here.” I smiled, tossing his repaired shorts.

“If you come back here with those same shorts again Johnathan Daviss-” I warned.

“You’ll go on a date with me?” he winked, my next words caught in my throat.

“I-” I stuttered, unsure of what to say.

“Cool I’ll pick you up at 8?” he asked, my head nodding of its own accord.

What am I getting myself into?

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[hwanwooyoung]

(hope school works out well for ya!!)

ooh... observing the gifs 👁👁 deadly indeed... why is he so .. !!! :|

don't worry about not knowing something about mx... i am not an active fan or like.. proper part of the fandom either anymore and it's actually far more fun this way! unfortunately, i got into mx really fast and was surrounded my less-than-ideal stans who just... affected my perception and emotional involvement into all of this. which of course later on fucked me up greatly lmao (aka wonho leaving and pretty much the year after that). and then like weird stans all around... oof. ignorance is bliss. i think when it's cb time even as a casual listener you will know about it so like what else do you need to be aware of? jksadhasjkdk and just to make sure i was just joking i just think this jp album was so great idk why people missing out on it when it's right here :p

excuse my little Tragic Rant kjahajkshjksdahkj anyways idk what to watch and where to watch it either. i just see that they post stuff every now and then. good for them lmao

i see ya ulting (?) some powerful men huh... understandable eheheh

unfortunately, i know pretty much nothing about these groups.. but maybe one day, i am kinda curious about seventeen but idk what songs i should check out... mayhaps u could give me recs ??👀👀

for my own ult favs.. besides mx it's dreamcatcher, wjsn and kard!💘

i like a bunch of other kpop artists but it's more of.. casual fan territory? like i listen to their songs but have no idea what are the names of the members ahdjkshdjksa

and if we are talking about specific people: in kard i cherish all 4 folks, but currently very hyped for j.seph coming back from war. wjsn: eunseo and yeonjung got me bad; dc: siyeon and jiu could walk over me and i'd thank them heh 🥰

and u can tell both jh and hw that im simping for gorgeous women as if they could argue something like that 🙄🙄🙄🙄

also omg lmao yes the shoot out versions situation is such a gamble. there is no way to predict it... unlike alligator. jp version sounds slightly different right at the start! a fun fact i guess... or perhaps it's just me being insane because i listened to alligator so many times i can hear the difference lol - your monbebe valentine

thank you!! i hope it works out too

hyungwon is just naturally :| also this is such a cute emoticon i love it

i totally understand >< sometimes it's a lot better to just be a casual stan! that's also part of the reason i started this blog! i don't have to spend every waking minute of my day waiting for a new video from one specific group to drop; i can make whatever i want and make myself happy! but i'm also really sorry those fans made you feel that way :( they're not true fans if they're gonna be like that >< i never understood why some people feel the need to send hate when something happens that they don't agree with; it's like "if i can't control this thing happening, then i'm gonna ruin everyone who agrees with it"

the jpn album was good!! you right you right :)

it was not tragic!! it's all good hehe :) i totally understand!! although i must ask, have you watched X-Ray yet? :o

yes i do like powerful men 👀 but also powerful women. i think powerful people are just so cool. i could never be like them </3

OOH SEVENTEEN SONG RECS (sorry i got excited) T~T welp i can start you off with some title tracks first!! In no particular order...

1. Rock with you 2. Clap 3. HOME;RUN 4. Don't Wanna Cry 5. Fear

but also SVT and MX had a MAMA collab stage when they first debuted which i thought was so cool 🥺 another monteen collab when T~T

OOOOH such top tier taste you have!! who are your biases in each of those groups? :3 now my turn to ask you for song recs hehe

oh yes i feel you there! im gonna disappoint you by telling you i still don't know the names of all the WJSN girls 😭😭😭 i'm learning i promise

oop you already answered the bias question >< don't mind me~ such good taste you have <3 and i'm sure jh and hw would approve of your choices 💖

it's true tho the jpn versions have a sliiiiight difference but it's so subtle that you can't tell if you're not focused T~T it's a wonderful guessing game heheh i love it actually

anyways! do you have a favourite mx variety show? mine is X-Ray but specifically season 3 hehe