#I needed a new desktop background so I went and cleaned up some scans I found on the internet because theyre absolutely gorgeous

[marquisecubey]

Revolutionary Girl Utena (1997) - 10th Anniversary Remastered DVD Cover Artwork

[blvirz]

Living Life Through a Lense: Chapter Twenty-Four(B)

Word Count: 11.4K

Warnings: swearing? (idk does that count??)

[2:30 AM KST, five days before the new premiere]

In every single pamphlet you were given at the hospital just before leaving, experts in them listed independence and control to be two of the most important things that you would lose after a brain injury. And it was true. No longer could you be alone for extended periods of time, nor could you be in charge of simple things such as taking your medication or walking to go get the mail downstairs. Now it wasn’t that you didn’t agree with the statement, but what these pamphlets seemed to have left out was the rare, but still likely to occur memory loss. So if somehow you were to reword them, you surely would have given memory loss an honourable mention among the things that were hardest to lose.

As a result of the accident, physically you were left suffering from a broken wrist, extensive bruising all throughout your body, and a deep gash near one the temples of your forehead. However mentally or to be more specific, cognitively, you suffered with concentration, mood swings, and memory loss.

Immediately after the accident you were thrust into what seemed like an endless schedule of testing and consults with your doctors to determine the extent of your cognitive impairments. At the end of all that, it was determined that you had forgotten everything in the past few months; from people to events and even certain habits, all of it was gone.

So far on your list of forgotten people included your supposed girlfriend Jennie, the rest of her members: Jisoo, Lisa and Rosé, and the various other staff you had become friends with at YG. You knew their names, but anything you learned or experienced with them after that first initial meeting at YG was gone. You couldn’t recall anything about their personalities, or even the moments you shared with them before the accident.

In the last month following the accident, your company had slammed the brakes on the release of your documentary. And with its release delayed a month, it gave you time to focus on your recovery. Which for you, meant weeks of physical therapy for your wrist, the occasional doctor's visit, sessions with an occupational therapist, and then back home to continue wallowing in both self-pity and despair. However, the newest development in your routine was sitting at your desk for hours at a time watching all of the footage captured in light of your latest documentary.

Nothing in your routine had seemed to do anything positive in terms of your recovery. Your therapist only made you more confused and agitated, while the videos made you feel cold-hearted and guilty. But at the end of each day, you still went to therapy and you still stubbornly stayed up into the early mornings watching as many videos as your brain would allow. In hopes that just maybe, by some miracle, something might trigger your memories.

Currently, it was almost three in the morning and having decided that you did enough sulking for the day, you sat up in your chair in search of a new video to watch. Though, somehow you always found yourself gravitating to the video labelled Jennie on your very cluttered desktop. Jadedly, you clicked on the video and pressed on the spacebar, and for what had to be the one-hundredth time, you sat back in your chair and let it play.

The video started off hectically, but once the camera was brought to a steady and able to focus, it showed a clear shot of a woman sitting on a picnic blanket eating chips. In the background behind her, you could see the very evenly cut grass, and if you focused hard enough, you could also make out the pristinely cut hedges. All things considered, from a videographer’s perspective it was an awful shot, though there was no denying the fact that the video had a certain charm to it, you just couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Okay go it’s recording,” you heard through the speakers of your headset; it was your voice, but because you spent years having to both hear and edit it, you were able to ignore it out of habit.

It was a few seconds of silence, so quiet that you were able to hear the wind when suddenly there was a loud crunching noise immediately followed by laughter.

“What! There’s no way you heard it that time!” the woman in the video exclaimed; her eyes noticeably widened.

“Jennie… I’m pretty sure all of Korea heard you. Now say it! You lost!”

“Wait give me one more shot! Just one more. Please Y/N,” the other girl pleaded.

There was a prominent sigh that was picked up by the camera followed by the words, “fine. One last shot. But! The second I hear something, you have to say it.”

She nodded and with ease plopped another chip into her mouth. And just like the first time, it took a couple of seconds, but there was another clear-cut crunching noise that could be heard.

She sat there silently with her eyebrows furrowed, her nose scrunched up and lips formed in a pout, but as soon as her features softened up from behind the camera you could hear, “no! Don’t give me that look. I’ve already given you enough chances. Now pony up, I wanna hear it.”

She sat there silently unwilling to give in to your commands, and if you hadn't watched this video a hundred times before, you would have assumed that the video was going to end. But instead, there was some shuffling and eventually, it showed your face as you leaned against the girl’s shoulder. “Nice and clear. Say it Jennie,” you said as you laughed and looked at yourself in the camera's viewfinder.

She then pretended to roll her eyes in annoyance, and you would have believed it if it weren’t for the smile that she was desperately failing to hide from the camera. Shortly after, in a clear and soft voice, you heard and watched as the girl in the video stared at you and told you that she loved you. Just before the abrupt ending you had come to learn the video had, you could faintly hear yourself say, “I love you too.”

Watching the video over and over again you realized three things. For one, this probably wasn’t supposed to be a part of the documentary considering how it was shot. Two, because it was the only video on your desktop, it must have meant a great deal to you. And three, although it was a short clip, it showed you all that you needed to know; that you were in love with the girl in the video, and that she loved you too.

Before you could let your frustrations get the best of you, you closed your laptop and headed to bed.

…

Your doctor sat in a chair across from you at a desk behind several computer screens. After getting one final look at what you assumed were the results of your latest tests, she wheeled herself out from behind the desk so that you two could talk face to face. “Everything so far looks good on my end, and after going over the results of your latest cognitive test and brain scan, it looks like our weekly visits are no longer necessary. However– there is a catch. Any kind of intense physical activity, alcohol, and medication other than the ones prescribed are strictly prohibited for the next month. Taking part in any of these can have serious adverse effects. That being said, did you have any questions?”

Wasting no time you asked, “have the chances of my memories coming back changed since the last checkup?”

You watched as your doctor tried to maintain the neutral expression she was probably trained to have in medical school, but seeing the way she pursed her lips and the movement in her shoulders as she exhaled, told you that the answer was not the one you were hoping to hear.

“Considering the injuries you sustained, along with the twenty-plus years of experience I’ve had researching the brain... the answer is still that it’s highly unlikely, but again, as I’ve said in our previous checkups, the brain is still something we don’t have fully figured out. One day you could wake up and start to recall the things you thought were long gone. Don’t give up Y/N.”

This was how your doctor's appointments always ended. Each time you went in, you hoped to hear something new, but in the end, she always told you the same things in some other variation of words. The truth was, you weren’t exactly sure what answer would satisfy you, but sometimes you wished she would just say the word ‘no’ to answer your question; that way you could begin to move on. But the fact that there was the tiniest bit of hope in her long and drawn out speeches kept you from letting go completely.

…

[1:30 PM KST, four days before the new premiere]

Glancing at the clock on the stove, you hurriedly poured your coffee into a to-go cup. Because of your injured wrist, it rendered your whole left arm useless. And so, everyday tasks like getting the toothpaste on your toothbrush, tying your shoelaces, or making coffee like you were doing right now, ate away at both your time and patience.

Just when you were about to put the lid on, you accidentally knocked the cup with your freshly poured coffee over, causing it to spill all over the counter and produce a steaming pool of liquid on the ground near your feet. Frustratedly, you picked up the cup and threw it in the sink, and a loud bang rang throughout the apartment.

Like clockwork, Lex came bolting into the kitchen to see what you had managed to fail at this time. “What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” she asked while she panicked and checked your body.

Pushing her hands away, and in a voice that lacked emotion, you said, “I’m fine. I just spilled some coffee. I can clean it up.”

She didn’t listen and began to clean up the dark brown puddle by your feet. “Lex please just stop,” you said firmly, while she continued wiping the ground.

“Lex! Enough!” you yelled causing her to flinch, but by then she was already finished with cleaning up your mess.

As she stood up to face you, she said, “I’m just trying to help Y/N.”

“Yeah I know, but the problem is that you are always helping. Please just let me do things on my own.”

For a few minutes she didn’t say anything and instead looked down at the ground; immediately making you feel bad for losing your temper. You knew that her heart was in the right place, but you just needed some semblance of control, even if it was something as little as cleaning up some spilled coffee.

To avoid any unnecessary argument, you said that you would just ask the driver to pick up some coffee on the way, and walked out of the kitchen without another word.

…

Framed diplomas and other accolades covered the walls, and neutral colours made up the room: ivory, beige, taupe, black, white etc. The walls were painted ivory with white crown mouldings, the carpet was taupe, the furniture you both sat in, black. The only source of vibrant colour came from the view outside the window, and the lonely looking green plant in the corner of the room; to you, it looked like a low-budget sitcom set.

“Y/N? Are you ready to begin today’s session?”

The calming yet disruptive voice of your therapist rang through your ears pulling you back from the endless stream of thoughts and observations that swirled in your head. You spaced out normally, but after the accident you found yourself doing it more often to make sense of the things you were feeling.

Are the things I’m currently feeling real? Or is this just another mood swing? Were the questions you asked yourself almost hourly.

“Uh. Yes,” you said as you nervously tapped away on the armrest of the couch you were seated on.

“Like always, let’s start off easy today. I would just like to remind you, like in all of the eight times we have met previously, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, and if you ever feel yourself starting to get worked up we can move on. Now we have done this exercise twice before…” your therapist continued on while reading the things on her tablet.

It drove you nuts how she would always remind you of things like how many times you’ve met or how many times you’ve done a certain exercise. Of course, you didn’t doubt her or her ability to do her job, after all, she was a trained and licensed professional. But you couldn't the sheer amount of redundancy in these meetings couldn’t have been helping anybody.

“Y/N?” your therapist asked while waving her hand in your general direction.

Sitting up straighter, you quickly reverted your attention back to your therapist. “Sorry, I spaced out again. Can you repeat the question?”

“Has there been anything significant in the last few days? Anything new?”

You didn’t have to think twice, you couldn’t do much and your routine was always the same. “No, not really. Since I’m not allowed to do a lot of things, I mostly stay at home and watch TV, while Lex works. And then when she’s done we go out to eat, go out for a walk, come home, sleep, and do it all over again. Occasionally Jennie and the members come by, and it’s fun… but it never fails to get awkward when one of us is reminded of the accident.”

“What do you mean it gets awkward?”

“Well because I don’t remember, you could imagine I miss out on a lot of the inside jokes. It’s just– there’s no flow in our conversations when they are constantly having to stop and explain. Or there are times where I make a mistake and they all chalk it up to the accident–” You cut yourself off to avoid getting frustrated. Your heart began to beat harder in your chest, you could feel your whole body flare-up in heat, there was a lump in your throat, and tears already welled up in your eyes.

“It’s okay Y/N, take your time. I would still like you to continue. That is if you’re willing.”

After taking in a few deep breaths and agitatedly shifting in your seat once more, you continued. “I feel like I'm suffocating. Physically I’m recovering. However, mentally… I’ve gotten nowhere. It’s almost as if I’m living a life that isn’t mine.”

“And your main goal… is to remember again, correct?”

The word ‘yes,’ was all you could muster.

“Why?”

You looked at her in disbelief, and yet she looked right back at you not realizing the stupidity in her question. Did she really just ask me why I wanted to remember? Has she not been listening these last few weeks? What kind of therapist are you? Surely she’s joking, right?

…

“Why? Pfft. She really asked me why I wanted to remember,” you mumbled to yourself as you walked along a gravel pathway. After leaving your therapist’s office, you went straight to a nearby park to blow off some steam before heading home for the day. Much to the dismay of your security, they took you to the park as you requested and maintained a safe walking distance from you. You wished that they would have stayed in the van, but you were nevertheless thankful that they gave you some breathing room. With everything that happened, you weren’t allowed much.

It was your third lap around the park when you decided that you had enough time to yourself and that you should head back home, but before you could, you paused at the odd sight before you. In the distance, you saw an elderly lady sitting on the ground, and you wouldn’t have thought twice about it if it weren’t for the empty park bench just a few meters away from her. So without further question, you made you way over to see if she needed any help.

When you got closer, you could see what looked like a walking cane on the ground next to her, and after a quick scan, you could deduce that she had fallen. Her hands were visibly scraped and bleeding, one of her ankles swollen, and if not for the dark coloured pants she was wearing, you could see the dust and gravel on the side of her legs. While bending down you asked if she was okay, to which she mumbled something that you couldn’t make out all the while she had a puzzled look on her face. Which right away told you that she didn’t speak or understand a word of English. Looking back at your security you saw that he was already on the phone with who you assumed was emergency services when your attention was quickly brought back to the older woman as you felt her put her hands on your arms.

It took a while but you sat there and kept her company until the paramedics arrived. Although you couldn’t exactly communicate with her, from the look on her face alone as she was being wheeled away, you could tell that she was thankful for your help.

On the way through the park and back to the van, you looked at your bloodstained sleeves. You couldn’t explain it, but there was something eerily familiar about it.

…

Entering your apartment like you had done at least a hundred times before, you locked the door, hung up your coat, kicked off your shoes and headed further inside. Having walked “alone” in the park for nearly two hours, your thoughts were a bit more organized and you felt a little more at peace with yourself. However, that was all quickly cut short when you walked into the kitchen.

At the kitchen table, you saw Lex with her phone held right up against her ear with the help of her shoulder while she frantically scribbled down something on her notepad. With her other hand, she was furiously typing away on her laptop. Though when she looked up and saw you the frantic demeanour she had quickly gone away and was replaced by one that told you she was anything but glad to see you. After saying a few words into her phone, she hung up and slammed it onto the table.

“Where the hell were you?” her tone was noticeably hostile.

Okay. She’s mad. You thought to yourself. You wanted to carefully choose the next words to come out of your mouth, but the death glare she was giving you made you choose impulsively.

“At the park,” was all you said.

“So that’s it? No explanation as to where you were for the last two hours? No call? No text? Are things that easy for you? You know Y/N, I have tolerated a lot these past few days because of the accident and all of the pain that you’ve been experiencing. But if you are going to continue down this path of being stupidly selfish then–”

The way that she was firing questions at you made your head hurt but still, that wasn’t enough to draw you away from her last question. You let out a frustrated laugh at her choice of words. No one really was listening to you after all. Easy? Is that what she said?

“Are you laughing? Do you have any idea how worried I was for you? How many people I’ve called to see if you were with them? How many hours I’ve spent calling every hospital within a 15-kilometre radius? I will never get that time back Y/N! Don’t you understand?”

Just when you were about to say something she held her hand up in a way that told you to shut up, “I’m not done. You’re going to stand there and listen to what I have to say because you don’t seem to give two shits about how much work other people have been putting in these last few weeks. Ethan is doing his best to ensure the investors are happy. I’m doing my job as well as yours. Jennie doesn’t get to come home. Everyone on the team has been busting their ass off for you. Bending over backwards just so that you feel comfortable. And here you are acting like a rebellious teenager, running off alone without telling anybody! Y/N you really need to start growing up.”

“One. I wasn’t alone. If you had simply called my security, you would have been able to find out where I was. And two, do you really think that this is easy for me? I know that it’s been hard for everyone! You don’t think I see it on your faces every time you look at me? You think I wanted to put you through this? I am trying my best, but I just needed some time alone.”

“You. Can’t. Be. Alone!” she enunciated.

“I know!”

“Then why–”

“–I just needed to get away. I’m so tired Lex. Tired of disappointing you, and everyone else when I don’t recall certain things. Tired of having to have everything be explained to me. Tired of feeling like I’m being suffocated. So while I understand that going off without saying anything was dangerous… that time alone did more for me than what the last two weeks of therapy has done.”

It was the first time in a long time where you really had to dive deep and explain all the things you were feeling. Of course, your therapist expected you to do this with her; though that was easier said than done. With Lex, however, it all came out easily; all the pent up frustration and all the things you were afraid to say to a stranger.

“Y/N I understand that, but therapy is good for yo–”

You interrupted once again. “No you don’t Lex! How can you honestly say that you understand? Did you suffer the brain injury? Did you have everything in the past year ripped away from you? Do you have a girlfriend that you look at and don’t remember? The therapy has been helping everyone but me. You and everyone else get to feel reassured knowing I go there to get worked on when in reality it only makes me feel worse.”

The last few words were hard to get out. No matter how many times you swallowed, there was still that persistent lump in your throat. And every time you exhaled, you could feel your chest tighten up and the ache in your ribs intensify. Trying your best to not let it get the best of you, you sat on the floor and slumped against the kitchen counter. At the same time, Lex came around from behind the island, knelt on the ground next to you and rubbed your back.

“I am just trying to help you Y/N. I don’t know of another way to do that. I’m doing all that I’ve been told by the doctors.”

“I know. It’s just frustrating to feel like nothing’s changed. To me, I’m still where I was a year ago. Heartbroken and confused. And it certainly doesn’t help with everyone telling me that I was happy and had all these great things– I just want to remember.”

Lex didn’t say anything after that and neither did you. For the rest of the night, you two sat there on the ground in your kitchen, while she hugged you and let you cry it out on her shoulder.

[9:30 AM KST, three days before the new premiere]

In your dressing room with a towel wrapped around your body, you stood there looking at all the shirts and sweaters that were either folded on the shelves or hung on the racks. There were so many options, yet none of them stood out to you. Turning around you decided to look for a pair of pants in hopes that maybe it would help you decide on a shirt, but instead, your eyes landed on the clothes on the other side of the closet. T-shirts, sweaters, dresses and things like all sorted by colour were neatly stored on the other side.

Your first night home after the accident you stayed up all night looking at all the things that you knew didn’t belong to you. And every morning since then there was always a brief moment where you were confused to find things that weren’t yours. Whether it was her assortment of perfumes and makeup in the bathroom or the very clothes that you found yourself staring at.

After deciding what to wear, you walked out and headed into the kitchen. Not surprisingly, Lex was already seated at the table eating her breakfast. However, what was surprising and in fact made you smile was the fact that she didn’t have your breakfast already laid out for you in the spot next to her. It was baby steps but still progress in letting you have some control.

So you were listening yesterday... thank you. The voice in your head said.

When you finished with the breakfast that you had made for yourself, you got up, put your dirty dishes in the sink and headed to the front door to go to your physical therapy appointment. On your heels, Lex walked with you to the front door.

Babysteps Y/N. She’s trying. Let her say goodbye.

Once you were able to get your shoes on, you stood up and both of you laughed at how out of breath you were just trying to get up. As a habit, you stood there and waited for her to open the door for you.

With a puzzled look on your face you looked at the door and then back at Lex, with a smile on her face she said, “what? You said you wanted independence, so here it is.”

You laughed and shook your head. “By letting me open the door by myself?”

“Precisely.”

“Okay… here I go,” you said as you put your hand on the handle.

But before you could turn it, Lex pulled you in for a hug, rested her head on your shoulder and said, “will you just promise to call or text me if you aren’t coming home right away?”

Pulling away and with a smile, you said, “okay. I will.”

…

Walking down the hallway toward the door of your apartment, you held your once broken wrist in your other hand. Truth be told ever since the doctor took the cast off, you had a hard time letting your wrist be free; guarding it just in case you accidentally bumped into something. You knew that your fear was irrational, after all, he assured you that there was no need to keep wearing a cast or much less a wrist guard. It was healed all the way through, but still, out of habit you couldn’t help but guard your wrist like it was still broken.

Once you got to the door, you practiced what you had done at least a thousand times in physical therapy. In the weeks leading up to this moment, you went over the motions that you did in your everyday life before the accident. Motions that you didn’t have to think twice about. Such as twisting locks, tying shoelaces, pouring liquid into various other cups without spilling, and even opening doors like you were doing now. Each of them you did at least a hundred times a day, which you figured was probably why you were so frustrated when you had to come home and do them all again.

Very slowly and carefully, you clasped your fingers around the metal handle, and to your surprise, it twisted on its own. As a reflex, you pulled your whole hand back. Before you could question why the door handle had turned on its own, the door opened and revealed Jennie? Why are you here?

For some reason, the sight of her caused a sudden hitch in your breathing. Both of you stood there staring at each other, frozen on opposite sides of the doorframe. When you looked her up and down, you saw that she was holding onto a pair of white shoes. Immediately taking notice of what you were looking at, she held them up and said, “I needed these for the dance practice video we’re going to film today. I forgot that I had left them here.”

Still, for some reason, you couldn’t say anything and instead nodded all the while giving an awkward smile. Smooth Y/N. Just smooth.

“You got your cast off?” Jennie asked while also grabbing a hold of your arm.

Tenderly she ran her fingers over your wrist in the same motion you were doing just a few minutes earlier. And for a moment you allowed yourself to remain still with her hands wrapped around your arm and her fingertips making small circular motions over your skin. Her touch was soft and gentle, almost enough to make you forget just how long you two were standing there. Impulsively and like a child with a toy, you pulled your hand out of hers and held it with your other hand.

Nice job Y/N. Why are you so nervous? Relax! The voice in your head screamed.

“Uh– yeah. The doctor said I didn’t need it anymore. I’m all healed,” you said as you smiled, trying to distract her from what you had just done. During the last few words to come out of your mouth, a look of sadness flashed across her face. It was fleeting, but you caught it anyway.

She didn’t smile or seem the least bit happy like she was a few seconds ago, which made you question whether you had done something wrong. There was yet another awkward silence and before you could ask her about it, she said, “well… I should get going, the members are waiting for me in the van downstairs. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

She must have seen the look of confusion all over your face, which prompted her to clarify what she meant. “At the party?”

“Right.” And with that held the door open while the both you traded places.

“Jennie?” you asked, immediately causing her to stop in her tracks. She looked back at you expectantly.

“Good luck with your recording today. I hope you guys can knock it out on your first tr–” as the words were coming out, you didn’t notice but she had moved closer and threw her arms around you in a hug. Automatically as a force of habit, you stiffened up in order to shield your wrist, which probably gave Jennie the wrong idea that you were uncomfortable with her hugging you. But that couldn’t have been further from the truth. The hug was tight and made you feel secure. “You don’t have to say anything back, but I just wanted to say that I missed you,” she whispered.

Before you knew it the hug was over, and she was already making her way back to the elevators, not giving you the time to reply. Either that or you really did take too long; with Jennie, it was difficult to discern whether seconds or minutes had gone by. The way in which you two locked eyes just before she got on the elevator left you frozen just outside your apartment door, even long after she left.

…

[6:30 PM KST, two days before the new premiere]

As the van you were riding in came to a stop, you opened your eyes and sat up straighter in your chair. Through a quick glance out of the window next to you, you could see that you were stopped in front of the gates at YG. There was a loud buzzing sound, and after a few seconds, the van lurched forward causing you to grab onto the armrests of your chair, but it wasn’t long before you yet again came to another stop.

Looking around you could see that there were several other vans identical to yours waiting outside in a line just before the front door. Too many in fact if each van was responsible for dropping off one person, there would surely be too many people still. YG told you to expect a big party for the release of your documentary, but there was no way you could have expected this.

Soon your van came to a stop at the front of the building, and once the door of the van was fully open, you waited for Lex to exit first and then did the same. On the way out one of the security guards standing outside extended his hand out for you to grab and steady yourself, which you gladly took and thanked him for.

Finally sheltered by the walls of YG, it was an odd sight to see the place so empty in light of all the commotion going on outside. In your head you questioned where all the people dropped off ahead you were when suddenly there were muffled sounds of music that could be heard from above, immediately answering your question. Shortly after stepping inside, you were being ushered to the elevators by some staff.

On the way up you nervously toyed with the bracelet around your wrist, so much that Lex took notice and grabbed your hand to give it a reassuring squeeze. It had been a while since you were last in a room with more than ten people at a time, so for a party of this size to be your first time in a long time, you were rightfully nervous. Before you knew it, the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened up to a crowd of people; none of which you could recognize.

Just as Lex was being pulled away by some of the other staff, you told her to go off and enjoy herself. “Go and have fun. I’ll come find you if I get uncomfortable.”

The truth was that you were already uncomfortable, but after your argument the other day you felt bad for what you had put Lex through, and so if feeling the slightest bit uncomfortable was the price you had to pay for her to have a good time, you were more than willing to suffer it. You looked around to find someone you knew, but instead, your eyes landed on the bar across the room.

On your way to the bar, you looked at all the monitors and screens that were scattered around the room. It made sense, technically this was a viewing party, but no one ever actually watched the film at these kinds of things. Taking the time to look at the screens you noticed some of them were playing parts of your documentary, while others had the pictures of you and the members playing like a slideshow. God, I really need a drink.

“I’ll one have of these please,” you shouted to the bartender as you pointed to one of the drinks on the menu. The music was so loud that you were forced to.

After he had heard you and got around to making your drink, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning around you saw that it was a woman who you didn’t recognize, but then again how could you, when the vast majority of the people you had become friends with here had been wiped from your memory.

“I’m sorry, di–do I know you?” you asked politely. You hated that you had to start off every conversation with that these days, but it was necessary.

Before telling the bartender that she wanted whatever you were having too, she leaned in closer and said, “no I don’t think we’ve met before. You just looked like the only friendly and sober one here. Should I know you?”

You laughed and hesitated on whether you should tell her this party was, in a way, for you. Ultimately, you decided against it and let the conversation naturally flow.

While she sipped on her drink she looked around the room rarely ever looking at you, and whenever she had to say something, she would lean in closer to your ear in order to speak over the loud music. Through your conversation, you two talked over topics like working for YG, your jobs and moving to South Korea. Since you had forgotten, you told her honestly that you couldn’t offer her much. But what you could do was recommend all the things you had done in the last few weeks. Which even then was very few, but still included some restaurants you and Lex frequented and even the park that you walked through the other day.

For once your conversation didn’t revolve around your accident, and it was nice. On top of all that, she didn’t give you that same look of pity you had become so used to getting these past few weeks. You were having such a good time that it was probably a good half hour into your conversation when you had noticed she had gotten too close for comfort. Part of you wanted to think nothing of it and brush it off as friendliness, but the other part of you felt guilty that you hadn’t noticed. After all, you were still dating Jennie. Right?

You two were just about to exchange numbers when you felt a pull on the arm that was furthest from her. When you turned to see who it was, you saw that it was Lex and after offering the woman an apology for the interruption, you leaned in closer toward Lex to hear what was so important. “Y/N I love you. You know that. But sometimes you make me want to just strangle you. Wrap up this conversation. You’re hurting Jennie.”

Lex pulled away and gave the both of you a polite smile, and if it weren’t for the things she had just said, you would have thought everything was fine. You knew it wasn’t Lex’s intention to hurt you, but the last words to come out of her mouth stung and immediately made you feel bad. Forgetting the woman next to you, you looked around the room to look for Jennie, but she was nowhere to be found. As if she could tell what you were doing, she pulled you in once again and said, “she’s no longer in the room. Wrap this up and I will take you to her.”

Turning around swiftly, you were just about to tell the woman that you had something to take care of and that it was nice talking to her, but somehow she understood and let you go. While walking away you heard her shout, “wait,” which prompted you and Lex both to stop in your tracks. Turning around one last time, you watched as she confusedly looked at one of the screens and then back to you, “you’re Y/– this party is for you?”

“It is,” you managed to say before turning around and being forcefully pulled away.

After getting off the elevator, you were able to recognize where Lex had planned to bring you with the help of the familiar artwork that hung on the walls. If your guess was correct, you would end up at your office. Since the documentary was finished, there was no reason for you to use it, but after the accident, Lex took you to see it once.

Both of you stood in front of the door and looking through the frosted glass you saw that the lights were turned off. In a serious tone and just before leaving, Lex said, “I’m going to go meet up with the rest of her members, but you two should talk. You owe her that much Y/N.”

Lex was gone and you were standing alone in the hallway, you twisted the door handle and walked in. It was dark in the room, but after blinking a few times to adjust to the lack of light, you could see that Jennie was leaning against the couch. In her hands, you could see what looked like a framed photo. Once inside the room, she placed the photo down next to her, wiped her face with the back of her hands and looked up at you for the first time.

Shit. You were crying. Good job Y/N. Good job.

“Jennie I’m sorry,” you said, not wanting to move any closer. She didn’t say anything and so you continued, “it was never my intention to hurt you. I’m just– I’m not sure what it is that you want from me.”

“I want you to stop flirting with people that aren’t me! I want you to remember Y/N!”

“You don't think I want that too? Do you really think that I enjoy putting you and everyone else through all this pain? And as for speaking to that girl, I’m sorry if you mistook that for flirting. I really am. But I refuse to apologize for simply having a good time. For once it was nice to have someone treat me normally, and not as if I’m some sort of project. Something that needs to be worked on, or fixed.”

Your tone was more condescending than what you had wanted, but you couldn’t help it. Enough was enough, and you were done with being reminded of the injury and what it had taken from you.

“Is there something else that I can do for you? What can I do? What do you want from me?”

“I want you to tell me you love me again. I want our mornings where we go back and forth over who gets ready first. I want the rushed lunch dates we used to sneak out on in the middle of practice. I want our routine dinners with the rest of the members and Lex. I want– I want us, Y/N. Where we used to be.”

For a moment you stood there to take in and internalize everything about what she had just said. Every aspect: from the words she used, the tone, down to the pauses she took. The desperation and sadness in her voice are what got you to soften up, though as much as you wanted to give in to what she wanted, how could you?

How do you tell a girl that you don’t remember loving, much less remember, that you love her? How do you look at the girl that everyone says you were madly in love with... and tell her that you don’t remember a single thing that happened between you two? How do you avoid crushing the heart of someone who was very clearly in love with you? The answers to all these questions were different, but among them was a common theme; all of which would end up hurting Jennie.

Enough time had passed to the point where Jennie mistook your silence for not wanting to continue with this conversation and headed for the door.

“We should get back to the party. I’m sure everyone is looking for us,” she said just before leaving the room.

It didn’t sit well with you to let her walk away from your conversation because it was far from over, but it simply wasn’t the right time. What also didn’t help was that you didn’t have the answers, and what she wanted, you couldn’t give her. In theory, you could have, but your heart wouldn’t have been in it and deep down you knew that was unfair to the both of you.

The rest of the night was impossible to enjoy, and so after finding YG you thanked him for the party and told him that you had to go home because you were feeling unwell. He understood and signalled for one of his staff to take you home. Not being in the right headspace as well as not having the energy to explain what happened, you told Lex that you would be heading home early, and convinced her to stay.

When you got back home and were settled in bed, you ran over countless scenarios in your head until you fell asleep. In the end, it all boiled down to two options: working with what you had, or letting her go.

Wouldn’t you be better off without me? I wouldn’t be there to cause you any more pain, and you could move on. If I were half the amazing girlfriend you claim I was, I would do this for you, right? Set you free so that you could be happy?

[11:30 AM KST, the day before the new premiere date]

Your phone buzzed loudly on your bedside table instantly waking you up. Blindly smacking the surface of the table, your hand finally landed on it. With your eyes still closed, you unplugged it and brought it closer to your face. Pressing the side button on the side and with one eye open, you saw a text from Jennie. Shooting up in your bed, you unlocked your phone and read the message.

Jennie: are you up? can you meet me at this park?

*Jennie has dropped a pin*

You: yes. right now?

Jennie: in 10? I only have an hour lunch.

You: okay.

…

“Damn that’s spicy,” you said as you put your food down on the bench next to you and tugged at the collar of your shirt. Not only did you feel the spice spread like wildfire in your mouth, but it eventually began to spread down through your neck and into your chest giving you instant heartburn.

“Did you also manage to forget that you don’t like spicy food too?” Jennie laughed as she handed you a water bottle she had just finished opening.

While taking the bottle and chugging the cold water that was inside of it, you looked over and through the tears in your eyes, you watched as she laughed in your suffering. The spice only seemed to get worse and it hurt like hell, but all you could think of was how good it felt in the moment to have made her laugh instead of cry.

When you had arrived at the park, you were surprised to see Jennie with no security. She sat there all alone on one of the park benches with the food that you were now devouring in her lap. And with the way that everything had gone the night before, the last thing you thought you two would be doing was having a picnic in the park. So far you were genuinely having a good time, but inevitably when you thought about what you two still had left to discuss, it loomed over like a dark cloud. Keeping you from being able to bask in the sunlight and happiness that seemed to radiate off of your current company.

Whether it was one of the side effects of your injury or your surmounting impatience, you impulsively asked Jennie why she had asked you to come to a park out of all places. Desperately, you searched for an answer in one of her many facial expressions. When what looked like some sort of satisfaction covered her face, you were surprised to say the least.

“Right. You wouldn’t remember it. This is your move Y/N. I’m pulling a you, on you…”

A move?

You gave her a questioning look to which she replied with, “the last time we argued… we had a screaming match in your hotel room, which resulted in you having to sleep in Lex’s room. And literally, the next day you brought me to a park– an amusement park of all places to work things out. What did you say to me again?”

It took a few minutes but you could tell the exact moment when she remembered because she sat up straighter and smiled, “you told me you picked that place so that we would be forced to have a mature conversation, and if not, then we would be forced to look like ‘two idiots screaming at each other at an amusement park.’”

“And did we argue?” you asked.

“We did not.”

You believed her, not because she had no reason to lie, but because it certainly sounded like something you would do. I wish I could remember Jennie. I really do.

“Jennie, I don’t want to argue anymore.”

“Neither do I.”

“I thought about it yesterday, and seeing you that upset… I never want to be the cause of that. So it is because of that reason that I’ve decided to let you go.”

You had more to say, but because she was so silent and hadn’t moved in the slightest, you paused to see if she was even listening.

“Just be happy Jennie. Enjoy the rest of your tour being carefree. I don’t want us–or me, to hold you back. I don’t remember anything so don’t feel bad for getting to walk away. It’s a free pass,” you joked to make light of the situation.

You were relieved to hear her laugh, but listening closer, you quickly gathered that it wasn’t because things were funny, and instead were out of frustration. “Out of all the things your brain allowed you to forget. Events, people, certain habits… you didn’t lose the one thing I hate the most.”

“And what’s that?” you asked, wanting to indulge her.

“Your tendency to run when things get difficult. You did it with Irene and now you’re doing it with me. How do you do that? Go off and just decide?”

While she moved to dab the corner of her eye with the sleeve of her sweater, she mumbled something else, but it was just enough for you to hear it. “Why did you have to make me love you?” she asked.

It broke your heart to hear it in the way she said it. It would have broken anyone’s, but it only reiterated the reason why you decided to end things. There was no reason to fall deeper and suffer the consequences. No reason to keep hurting her this way.

“I just– I don’t want to keep going around in this cycle. Every night when I go to bed, I replay the movie that is us. I break up with my girlfriend back home, I come to Korea to work with you, I meet you, and then it ends. There is no plot. There is no love story. There is no happy ending. Just unnecessary pain at the end.”

In the last sentence, you could feel the tightness in your chest return, and so you stood up. Jennie remained seated on the bench.

“Y/N but no one is hurting! You are doing that all on your own by pushing us away. You’re just confused, it’s the injury.”

There was no getting through to her either. Everyone was either dismissive of the things you felt or made excuses on your behalf. Somehow and someway it was always because of the injury. It was frustrating enough to feel like people were constantly trying to piece you back together, but what was even more frustrating was the invalidation you had to face every time you made a decision. Once again, making you feel as if your life was no longer yours.

“I’m hurting!” you yelled causing Jennie to flinch. You tried your best to not let it get to you, but it was too late. You slipped. You dropped the ball. You lost it.

Frustratedly, you closed your eyes and ran your hands through your hair, all the while you paced in the spot in front of the bench. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to–it’s just so frustrating when no one understands... Out of all the questions I get asked in a day it’s never the right ones. When the doctor asks where it hurts, I hesitate and point to my ribs when in reality it hurts everywhere. I must be the only patient in the world that can’t tell the doctor exactly where it hurts. I mean how do you point to something that doesn’t quite exist, an intangible injury? I wake up, take my meds, go to therapy, come back home to watch videos, and do it all over again the next day. Nothing is coming back and it is killing me trying to get back to where I was.”

Amid your long and drawn out speech, Jennie got up and stood directly in front of you. She put her hands on your face and tried her best to lock eyes with you. While she held your face steady in her hands, she pleaded, “just try for a little bit longer Y/N. If nothing is helping then let me take you to all the places we’ve been to. We can do it all over again. Please.”

She was grasping at straws if you could even call it that. After all, there was nothing there. No relationship holding you together.

Taking her hands in yours, you removed them from your face and stepped back. It was already hard to breathe, and her holding onto you in this way only made it more difficult.

“But don’t you get it? I can’t give you what you want. You look at me and see this person that you fell in love with, but when I look at you I see a stranger. Realistically, how is this going to work if I don’t remember loving you? If you have an answer to that then I’ll do whatever it is you ask.”

It was only a few seconds later when she had something to say.

“Then don’t remember. Forget about what I asked for. Let’s just– start fresh. Give me a month to make you fall for me again. We can go back and do all the things we did in the past, or if that’s not what you want then we can do something else. Just give me a month, and if at the end of it you still don’t want this– then I’ll let you let me go. Even if that’s not what I want. One month Y/N.”

At every possible turn, she had an answer for you, almost as if she knew exactly what you would say. To be honest, you weren’t expecting her to have an answer right away, and that alone told you that she had thought about this from every possible angle. Which was something you thought you yourself could say until now. Turning around to look at her, you stood there completely dumbfounded; she gave you a solution that never once crossed your mind.

Could we really work things out? Would it be so bad to try one last time?

Her phone rang just then, and you couldn’t have been more thankful that it did. There was a lot to think about and you didn’t have an answer for her. Before you knew it, both a van and security escort showed up to take her back to YG. Even when you told her you needed more time to think about it, she was still reluctant to get inside the van. You two needed to figure things out quickly, at least before she left for tour again.

…

[12:30 PM KST, day of the premiere]

“Y/N! The van is outside, we have to go now or we’re going to be late!” Lex shouted as she came into your room, pausing at your door.

You sat still at the foot of your bed just staring at the ground. For the past hour, you looked down at the ground and contemplated. It was release day, and you should have been happier but the thought of what questions you might be asked by the press caused you great stress.

When you saw something move in your peripheral, you looked up and saw Lex standing there. She looked stressed out of her mind, and you could understand why. The last time you sat on a panel, the press had asked you a question that was a little too close to home. At least that’s what Lex told you the night before when she coached you the night before. When you got home from the park, Lex took you through some of the questions she thought they might ask. After all, how could you answer questions about something you didn’t remember filming? And so, a lot more preparation was necessary this time around.

…

[1:30 PM KST, day of the premiere]

If everyone could take their seats, the press event will begin soon. Please have your questions and other equipment ready as to not cause any delay.

For ten minutes, that same message repeated over and over again in both Korean and English. In the area before the stairs leading onto the stage, you and the members were surrounded by a dozen other people while they frantically checked each of your earpieces. Since the event was held for both Korean and international media outlets, translations would be made through an earpiece.

When the message stopped playing, you saw one of the stage manager's gesture for you all to begin walking on stage. In order, it was Jisoo, Jennie, you, Rosé and then Lisa. The moment Jisoo stepped on stage in full view of the media was when you heard the camera shutters begin to go off, and saw the bright white flashes of the cameras flood your current view.

For a few moments, you and the members stood in front of the enlarged version of the official documentary poster, occasionally turning to smile at a different section of the media. The constant flashing kept you from being able to see their faces and even hurt your eyes, but it eventually all came to a halt and you were all seated in the chairs placed in front of you.

Luckily the person leading the event gave you all a few seconds to gather yourselves just before answering questions. Once again, she reiterated the rules and even added a little bit about making sure that their questions were strictly related to the documentary and not of personal nature. When she was done reading the rules, the event began.

“This question is for Y/N. Is there a particular point in the documentary that you want the audience to pay close attention to? Or really just a general takeaway that you want to make clear?”

“I don’t want to give too much away, but there is a beach scene in Jennie’s episode that really captures the main idea or purpose behind this whole project. Which was to show you that as much as the life of a “celebrity” is idealized, there are also a lot of harsh realities and downsides that a lot of people don’t notice. You will see that they [Blackpink] all work incredibly hard, sometimes to the point of it being unhealthy. But at the end of it, if you [audience] were paying attention… you would see that as a result of going through the good and the bad, that they are in a way, like sisters.”

Satisfied with your answer, the reporter sat down and another one was picked.

“This question is for the members of Blackpink. Since the beginning, it has been said that you each have an individual episode that focuses on you as individuals followed by a final episode that focuses on you as a group. That being said, did you guys have a personal favourite among all the episodes? Is it your own possibly?”

Jisoo: I like the episode where it focuses on all of us. Well it might be true that there is a lot of content centred around us as a group, Y/N was able to capture us in a whole different light.

Jennie: I would have to agree with Jisoo. There have been plenty of things that have been released, but this documentary is nothing like we have done before.

Rosé: I would have to agree with Jisoo and Jennie. My favourite episode is the last one. It is best when we can all stay together.

Lisa: I like the one about me. No, I’m kidding, I like the last one as well. Y/N did a great job of showing our dynamic as a group.

The media laughed at Lisa’s joke and seeing how she was normally, it probably wouldn’t be the last one either.

The next reporter to be chosen was a woman. With her notes and pen in hand, she asked, “This question is for Y/N. What is one thing you are most proud of now having finished with this documentary?”

“I would say that I am most proud of how well the whole thing turned out, considering the nature of this industry as well as it being my first time taking on a project of this size. If you look back at all my previous work, they’re documentaries that are no longer than three-hours long. Whereas this one is just short of five hours. So obviously you could imagine there were concerns about keeping the audience engaged throughout the whole thing. But I will say, having watched it over and over again, I couldn’t have been more wrong, and I hope that you all enjoy watching it.”

No more than a few minutes after answering, yet another reporter was chosen. They had a badge around their neck that had ET written on it in big letters. While adjusting your mic, in the corner of your eye you saw Jennie fiddling with her hands underneath the table and her leg bouncing up and down. She seemed oddly nervous.

“Are you okay?” you whispered away from the mic.

But she didn’t get to answer as the reporter began to read their question. You didn’t take your eyes off of Jennie until the reporter mentioned that the question was for you. Hearing your name over the loudspeakers that hung above you reverted your attention back to the reporter in the crowd. Since you were unable to console her, without looking over at her, you blindly placed your right hand over hers. Instantly, her fingers clasped around your hand, and her leg stopped bouncing up and down.

“A month ago in a vague statement released by Universal, they cited that an accident involving one of their directors, which was assumed to be you, was the cause for the delay of the documentary. There were very few news reports and even some speculation on the legitimacy of that statement. Some even went as far as to report that the delay was actually due to the project not being finished on time. Can you clear all that up today by speaking on all that happened? Can you talk about the accident?”

This was the exact reason why Lex wanted to prepare you the night before. No matter how many rules were set in place, the media could easily just ignore those and ask whatever they wanted. It was messed up, but you quickly found out the hard way that that was the nature of this industry. The media, a bunch of piranhas, while you were the bait.

You sucked in a deep breath and tried to recall the statement that Lex drilled into your head. And for the most part, you stuck to it, but with the blatant disrespect for your privacy, you added just a little bit more to your answer.

“For logistical reasons as well as the fact that my recovery depends so much on not rehashing those details, I refuse to speak about the accident. What I will make clear though, is that the release was most definitely not due to falling behind on schedule. In fact, I will say that those rumours are actually quite insulting to the people who have worked hard on this project alongside myself. It’s very easy to make judgements, but what you guys certainly don’t see on the outside looking in, were the countless hours and immense amount of stress that was put on the employees that work either for me or for Universal when we were forced to delay. So if there is anyone to blame, I would ask that you blame me and not the people I work with. If it weren’t for them, we would not be here at all.”

After the last few words left your mouth, the reporter that initially asked the question, sat down in their seat clearly defeated in their intent to throw you off. 1-0, Y/N. The next few questions that were asked were for the members which you were thankful for as it gave you the time to rest and drink some water. Being nervous, combined with being under all the bright lights not only caused you to sweat but also made your throat feel like it was made of sandpaper.

When it came to the last question, every reporter in the stands before you threw their hands up in a rush to be picked. However, a young-looking reporter who remained seated at the very front was chosen. His question was for you, and by the tremor in his hand as well as the stuttering in his voice, you could tell that he was nervous.

“What do you plan to do now that this documentary is over? Did you have another project lined up? If so, could you offer us some details or any hints in advance? Thank you.”

You smiled at his ‘thank you.’ Out of everyone that asked a question today, none of them said those words, and so you appreciated it. To repay his small, yet still kind and meaningful gesture, you thought about repaying him with an answer that would surely be worthy of a few clicks on whatever article he would later be in charge of writing. Unsure of what you were going to say, you pushed back on your mic and sat back in your chair, taking a few minutes to look all around the room.

Before you were the eager and hungry-looking press. Off to the side was Lex, who had a mix of both a worrisome and a questioning look on her face. Beside you to your left was Rosé and Lisa, who gave you reassuring smiles to which you gave back. And then to your right, both Jennie and Jisoo.

When your eyes locked with Jennie’s, she smiled back at you, and you knew then exactly how to answer the question.

With your head turned away from the media and your hand shielding your lips, you asked Jennie, “a month you said?”

“What?” she asked, looking unsure if you were asking her.

You smiled and let out a small laugh, “last I checked it was me with the memory issue... Yesterday you said that you only needed a month to make me fall for you again. Is that all you need?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Just watch.”

After clearing your throat, you smiled and pulled the mic back closer toward your body. “Over these last few years, I have been so fortunate to have landed a career doing the one thing that I only ever saw as a hobby, and in a field that I could have only dreamt of being a part of. For the last eight years in a row I have filmed the lives of others, and greatly enjoyed the things I’ve been able to experience as well as the people I have met along the way. But somewhere in those last few years I found myself starting to dislike– and even resent the idea of having to film. That being said, I have decided to take a break. I do not have any other projects lined up, and even if I did I would decline the offer. As for your question on what I plan to do next, for the next month I have decided to stay alongside this one right here and follow through with whatever she has planned for us. For now, consider me retired. I am done with living my life through a lens.”

Just as you were done with answering, the media in the room went crazy. They were shouting for further clarification, but the event was over and you were already being escorted off the stage along with the rest of the members. For the first time in a long time, you felt the pressure on your chest begin to subside and the heavy weight you carried on your shoulders lifted off.

[hitsuackerman]

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.3

a/n: I just saw a post with Overhaul without his jacket... BRUH. the infinite possibilities of--- yeah I’ll save that for the next parts XD enjoy the 3rd part :)

warnings: this cannot be read solo, cursing(?), subtle flirting

Links: part 1, part 2, part 4

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased​ @infinite-universe-love​

“Okay.” Tsukauchi said as he took the seat across from you. His outstretched hand returning the envelope he had cross-checked. “There really will be a gala at the said area at the said date.”

“Who are the possible plus ones I can bring?” You asked. Your eyes glued to your desktop. As of the moment, you were digging up some articles about one of the minor cases you were working on. Of course, you could skim through articles and talk to your workmate. It was as easy as breathing by now.

“There’s only 3 possible candidates.” He began to enumerate. “Me. Shinezu. Namase.”

“Shinezu?” You stopped reading and stared at him. “You’re kidding me right?”

“Perhaps~” He joked. “I mean it would be nice to bring him along and expose him to the outside world. The kid needs a social life. All locked up in his office. Only going out when absolutely necessary. The exposure would do him good.”

Your focus glided to Shinezu’s office. It wasn’t for you to judge but it was clear as day he was happy as a loner and would dread any sort of unwanted communication. The fact that he was even part of this small select group of people was a miracle itself. Though, you had to admire his intellect. Nothing went past him.

“I was actually planning on taking the man himself.” You broke the news. Somehow that sentence caused your heart to pick up its speed by a little. The sound of Tsukauchi’s chair rolling towards you caused a bit of discomfort. “Think about it. He has more ties than I will ever have and his quirk would surely intimidate the boss. It’s a gamble on my part as to how he would carry himself but he’s level-headed. So far.”

“You sure about that?” His voice was much nearer now.

“Nope.” There was no use in lying to this person. “I’m just pulling threads here. But, his title might draw me closer to the main goal here. Besides, I’d like to see him without that horrendous jacket.”

“You’re not being affected by his charm now, are you?” Tsukauchi pried as he slowly went back to his work space. “We all know just how manipulative he can get.”

Gathering a few folders and envelopes, you placed them onto your bag. Fixing your hair, you stood up and went towards his area. Leaning onto the partition, you fixed the strap of your bag and crossed your arms.

“I don’t like being interrogated, Nao.” You said. “But if it gives peace to your running mind, here is my answer. I’m being as cautious as I can be. There’s nothing more to it.”

You waited for a response but by the looks of it he was either using his quirk on you or he was satisfied with your answer. The latter, hopefully. Excusing yourself, you exited the precinct and looked for the nearest coffee shop. If there was one thing the office needed, it was better coffee.

Your nearest bet was a 5 minute walk from where you stood. Looking at your watch, you had a couple of minutes to spare before interviewing a few civilians. Beginning your short walk, your mind drifted back to the plus one. Tsukauchi didn’t give you the go signal for it. Was this now all on you or would you have to consult him one more time?

Your hand was now fiddling with your phone in your pocket. Trying to single out the possibilities were rather tricky. The neon sign for the shop was now above you. You had been so lost in thought that you failed to realize you had arrived at your destination. Leaning on the door, you dragged yourself in and waited in line.

With the events going on, this called for a sweet drink. Something with chocolate in it. A sugar rush was something you needed.

You were currently the 3rd person in line. Pulling your phone out, you checked for any notifications. There was one. Clicking it open, it stated that the meeting you scheduled to have for next week had been pushed to today. Picturing your schedule, you had some free time later in the afternoon. Nodding, you sent out a reply and moved a step forward.

The day had just begun and things were starting to become busy. Thank gods the coffee shop smelled amazing. The exposed beans generously spread out its aroma around the cafe. Soft jazz music played in the background, enough to blend in with the buzzing chit chats of customers. A hint of mayoram and geranium gifted your sense of smell.

‘Wait..’ Your eyes began to scan the area. There was only one person whose wallet could afford such a scent.

“For an officer,” Overhaul said from behind you. “You’re quite slow.”

Pivoting, you were face to face with him. A new and very identical jacket replacing the old one. However, there was something off about his look today. His golden orbs simply stared back at you. Taking in your puzzled features. Then it hit you. A gasp escaped your mouth.

“Did the bird fly away or is this a new look?” He was without the bird beak. Instead, a simple black mask covered the lower half of his face. What was he hiding underneath that mask? Did he have a scar on his lip? A burn? If his eyes were breathtaking, what could possibly even out such a marvel? Subtly, you shook your head. What in the world were you thinking?

“I choose whether or not to wear the mask.” He replied. His latex wrapped hands motioning you to move forward. “This is one of the cleanest cafes that live up to my standards. It may not look like it but the smell of coffee beans are rather attractive.”

“It’s been a while, (Y/N)!” The employee greeted you. She giggled at how she broke your train of thought. It was something she barely got to see after all. “Will you have the usual?”

“Uh, N-no. For today, I’d like a choco chip supreme with less ice.” Your cheeks began to burn up as you had stuttered. Reaching for your wallet, you felt a foot gently kicking you. Looking up at the source, you stepped aside and waited for his move.

“2 Americano’s.” Overhaul ordered. In the corner of his eyes, he saw how your cheeks were beginning to turn a faint shade of red. As expected, this was interesting for him. “I’ll pay for her order as well.”

“You don’t have to.” You put up your palms and were only met with silence as he handed the payment.

“Put it under her name.” He instructed the employee to which she agreed. When both of you were given the line to wait for your orders, Overhaul signed for you to follow him to a vacant table near the window. Pulling the seat, he waited for you to sit down. To which you did.

“What do you want, Overhaul?”

“Can I not spend time with the person I’m assisting?” His hands remained on his lap. Sure, the table was clean but he wasn’t taking chances. Glancing at the window, his stare glued to the black car parked across the street. He could imagine Chrono inside slowly losing his patience. “I merely wanted an update for your plus one.”

“I’m still thinking about it.”

“Bring the first person that pops in your mind.” He tilted his head once more. “Isn’t that how you people think?”

“So you’re not a person?”

“I’m clean compared to you.”

“I’ll have you know I’m a clean person.” You pouted and pointed your index at him. The way his eyes widened with fear at the possible contamination was rather amusing. “You just wouldn’t know because you're afraid of dust. I bet your immune system is low.”

“Hmph. On the contrary, my health is pristine and well taken care of. I simply choose not to touch filthy people like you. I do make exceptions every now and then.”

“They must be blessed.” You rolled your eyes and the sound of your name broke through the jazz and chatter. “Well, make yourself useful and get our orders.”

“Of course.”

That had to make you wonder. He did not flinch, show any signs of annoyance, or even scoff at your command. Instead, Overhaul silently lifted his chair and made his way towards the counter. Seeing him bow as he received the beverages was weird. For someone who murders people, he sure is polite when it comes to mannerisms. Perhaps, those traits of his were already present. Even before becoming a villain.

When he sat back down, he took a tissue and wrapped it around your cold drink. Placing it in front of you along with the straw.

“Be my plus one.” You blurted out. Your view focused on him.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” He stood up and lowered his head. “I shall pick you up at 6. Is that fine?”

“Yeah.”

“If nothing else, I shall leave you be. Chronostasis must be fuming by now.” Before turning to leave, he had the audacity to add. “If you’ll excuse me.”

Following his body, you stared as he crossed the street and entered the same car he had been eyeing at.

Inside the car. Overhaul closed his eyes and listened to the small complaints his companion had. The visit to the shop was never intended but when he saw your figure walking down the street and entering the quaint shop, the decision to stop the car only caused Chrono to wonder.

Handing him the bird mask, he watched as his boss wore the contraption.

“Send the RSVP later.” He instructed. His voice muffled once again. “Use the alias we usually hand out for events like this. And call in the tailor. I’ll be needing a new suit.”

“That woman has taken your interests.” He commented.

“No.”

“Then why bother following her?”

“I did not follow her, Kurono.” He corrected his assistant. “It was merely chance running into her at this time of day. Besides, it’s amusing how she does not seem to hold such fear when I am around.”

Curling the sleeves of his jacket, he observed his skin. Not a sign of breakouts. In his subtle attempts to place himself close to you, he had come to the conclusion that you were relatively pure. Save for your quirk of course.

Speaking of quirk, there were still no updates regarding that information. Imagining the sum of money the Abegawa Tenchu Kai had to pay to keep that hidden was something he had to praise. The same could be said for his real name. Did you even know what his name was? Or were you left with redacted articles regarding that?

Closing his eyes once more, his thoughts went to the headquarters where his experiments were now running a bit late. Still, a few minutes delay was something he could live by.

Meanwhile, you were now preparing what explanation to give Tsukauchi. You had already given him a reasonable explanation as to why you would want to go with Overhaul. It also wouldn’t be the first time you would inform him of such unconventional choices you made. Ruffling your hair, you clicked your tongue and took a deep sip. “Uhm, (Y/N)?”

From the window, your view shifted to the employee. In her hand was a tray with a blueberry cheesecake. A shy smile resting on her feminine features. Scratching her nape, she let out an awkward giggle.

“The man told me to give you this after he left.” She said as she placed the dessert on the shiny brown surface.

“Oh, uh, thank you.” You stared at the cheesecake and immediately took your phone. Looking for the unknown number, you were only hoping that this was his personal number and not one that would alert the whole Shie Hassaikai. Sending the message with a rapidly beating heart, you cursed yourself for feeling this way.

To calm you down, you scrolled a little further and finally dialed your partner.

“Nao. I’m taking Bird boy with me.”

A long sigh was heard on the other side of the call. If you could bet money, you were sure he was massaging the bridge of his nose and leaning onto his chair.

“As much as I do not trust him, that would have to be the best decision for now,”

That went… smoother than you had initially thought.

“What’d you just gather?” Curiosity lacing your voice.

“A lot of big names are invited but we noticed that a handful of them are villains. Notably Akuji, Nokusu, and if our records are right, Tamisura.”

“Shit.”

----

are yall enjoying the story so far? :’) comment or message me if you want to be a part of Overhaul’s waiting list or any questions about the story :)

[95liners3rdmember]

Worth It

Chapter Two: Saying Thank You 

Word Count: 9632

Chapter One: First Meeting 

Tucking my phone into my back pocket, I have to do a double take of the group standing in front of me. I try to fight my facial expression but I can’t help but squint my eyes and the raising of my brow. The last thing I expected was an impromptu pajama party. 

“Ummm...you all didn’t have to come.” My voice croaks out as I lead the way into the apartment. Even though I know the apartment is as clean as it ever will be before I unpack, I nervously scan for a mess. I can’t help the boxes that litter the building for now though. 

“We figured eight is better than one, but we have to be quick or Jungkookie over here will be lost to video games.” Namjoon jokes as they make themselves at home, the bag Hoseok carried now is being emptied on the island. Soda and snacks. So I guess we really are having a party. 

“Thank you, again.” Now I feel guilty because I know they are all tired. But they are willingly coming to help me, a still somewhat stranger. 

“So where do you want to start?” Seokjin asks as he rolls up the sleeves of his RJ pajamas. 

I haven’t even gotten that far, I guess the easiest for them to do is the living room. It’s mainly gaming consoles, movies and pictures. That way they can entertain themselves while I unpack my office. 

“How about in here? All I have are games, movies and electronics. Could you do that while I went in my office? There’s a lot more to tackle in there.” My sisters would smack me for asking. I want to smack myself too but they seem more than happy to help. 

“No problem!” 

I walk down the small hallway to the box filled office and a heavy sigh leaves my lips. There’s so much to do here. My mind gets too lost in where and how to arrange everything that I didn’t notice Namjoon, Jimin and Yoongi walk in with me. 

“Whoa. There’s more boxes in here than the rest of the apartment.” Jimin’s eyes widen as he tries to find a place to start. 

“Reminds me of when we move offices.” Yoongi comments as he opens the box closest to him. Thankfully it’s only dvds from previous jobs or performances. 

“Then we know how to handle it.” Namjoon confidently pats my shoulder as I tugged up the sleeves of the sweater. Time to get some work done…

My eyes start to hurt as I try to figure out why my speakers are working with my desktop. We’ve been at it for almost two hours, I’ve lost Namjoon to the gaming party in the living room. Jimin has gotten lost in the pile of Naruto manga that is proudly displayed on a bookcase. Thankfully Yoongi has stayed with me. 

“Let me see, it may be a bad wire. It happened once in Genius Lab.” I wiggle from behind the desk and plop into the chair. My somewhat good mood has faded as the night goes on. This is really the last thing I need done before my office is fully unpacked. 

“Fixed. You had them switched.” Yoongi smiles lightly as he adjusts the desk and it sits flush against the wall. Thank god, now I need to get them all something for helping me so much.

“Thank you Yoongi. Why don’t you go join the others? I’m just going to break all the boxes down and pick up the trash.” 

He hesitates for a moment before nodding slowly, leaving a reading Jimin and a worn out me in the finished room. Honestly I couldn’t be happier. There’s just enough room where I can dance if I need to work out a move. Namjoon and I set up my camera so it can record if I get ideas, we mounted it above my desk so there aren’t any cords to trip over. I may be a dancer but I’m as clumsy as a person with two left feet. 

“Are you okay Y/n?” Turning on my heels I meet Jimin’s gaze. He’s putting the book back in its spot as he moves closer to me. I shake me head yes but I see a small box sitting on the ground. My legs wobble slightly as I move over to it and try to open the tape with my bare hands. Thankfully Jimin is thanking clearer than I am and grabs the scissors. 

“Thank you.” Slicing the tape, I see a few picture frames and my heart feels heavy. It’s a picture of me and my two sisters right before I left. They threw me surprise going away party with just us and a few family members. Tears start to prick at the corner of my eyes as I move to place it on my desk. 

“Are these your sisters?” Jimin asks as he shuffles through the box, turning I see him holding a picture frame. A weird mix of smile and smirk grace his lips. What picture could he have? 

Oh no. 

Fire lights in my cheeks as I try to take the photo away from him. Crap. That’s the last thing I wanted him to see. My sister and I are standing in age order with our backs turned to the camera, but our faces turned so you can see who is who, a thumb pointing to the back of our shirts as we stand in front of a large arena. It’s from our first time going to see BTS all together. Each of us wearing a different jersey style shirt. Of course they would pack this one in with my others even after I told them not to. 

“I guess Nikole thought it would be funny to pack this. It’s really embarrassing.”

“How? You all look excited.” 

“It was the first time the- we got to see you perform. One of the best shows I’ve ever seen.” I had to catch myself before I gave it away that I had been to others. 

“Here’s another one.” Jimin grabs the last frame out and I want to die. 

It’s a picture of me, wide smile with my army bomb staring up at the stage in awe. The lights in the background almost made it look like something from a fairy tail at how I was glowing. It was during the performance of ‘Fire’ that she took this because I was so proud to see my hard work come to life. 

Namjoon had sent us tickets for right by the stage that way we could somewhat see each other during sound check and the concert. I hadn’t kept up with the set list and when I say them running through ‘Fire’ I almost cried. So leave it to my youngest sister to take a picture of the actual concert performance. I swear I’m going to hide this picture in the deepest, darkest drawer I have here. 

Jimin mumbles something under his breath, it’s so soft and quick that I can’t make out what’s said. But there’s a strange tension in the room now. I clear my throat and take the second picture from him. 

“Ah I knew you had a favorite!” My whole body jumps and I almost drop the frames. Namjoon has been peering over my shoulder long enough to make out who’s is wearing each shirt. 

“Jesus Namjoon, you scared the life out of me.” As an instinct the words come out in English. The filter in my brain stopped working from being scared. Jimin can’t help but look at me as if I had a second head when the words came out in an accent he hadn’t heard much before. 

“I figured out Nikole and Nat’s that night but not yours. Seems you’ve been hiding something from me.” The grin on his face is full of playfulness and I can’t help but laugh. 

“I’m just messing with you, come on Jimin, Y/n. Kookie and Jin are the last two players in the contest. Let’s see who’s going to win.” Glancing over at Jimin another giggle slips through my lips as I notice his cheeks are painted a light shade of pink. The boys lead the way out but I quickly drop off the frames on my bed before joining them. 

All of the members have spread out across the couch and the floor. Empty boxes are stacked by the balcony door and everything seems to have found a home. They are quicker than I am, that’s for sure. Yoongi points over to the countertop and I see a pair of pajamas waiting for me. 

“Jungkookies clothes would be too big for you, I had an extra pair anyways.” 

“Thank you again. I’ll change after watching the last round though. I feel bad for leaving you all out here.” I scratch the back of my head and frown a little. Honestly I would’ve liked to spend more time out here but there was a lot to do. 

“Don’t worry about it! Also, I unpacked the kitchen and you need to go shopping.” Hoseok calls from his spot on the couch. He did the kitchen?! I really owe them, maybe I can take them to dinner tomorrow. 

“I should probably do that tomorrow after my luggage gets here.” Namjoon pats the couch and I happily oblige as my legs start to feel like a thousand pounds. I squeeze in between Namjoon and Taehyung. 

“You can go with me. I’ll come by and get you in the morning.” Hoseok is willing to volunteer himself for something I can handle on my own makes my heart jump. They really are the most welcoming and accepting group of people I’ve ever met. And I’ve met a lot of people in the entertainment industry. 

“I’d like that a lot.” Smiling, I lean back into the couch and shimmy out my phone. There’s not much going on except a few notifications from my email. I’m too tired to check them now but I will in the morning. Taehyung reaches over as my guard is down and goes to my secure app that I was told to download. BigHit is all about security, so they told me that they only message within secure and private app accounts. Smart by all means but it’s going to take some getting used to. 

A few minutes pass by as I watch him through heavy eyes and finally see that there are seven new contacts and a new group chat. Quietly I thank him but it’s drowned out by the cheering and hollering around us. Once again Jungkook proves he’s superior at most things. I fight against my body screaming for sleep as I clap along. 

Namjoon gently nudges me and I look at him with a weak smile. He knows, well they all know too well what exhaustion can do to a person's body. 

“Alright everyone, time to go. Some of us have work to do tomorrow.” Being the ever vigilant leader, he manages to wrangle the members. A few protests come from the younger three and I told them we could all get together another time. 

I wave goodbye and tell them how thankful I am for them helping me as they single file out of the apartment. Shutting the door, I lock it slowly and trudge back to the bedroom turning off the lights as I go. My hands grab at the clothes on the counter and I stumble into my room. 

A few ideas pop into my mind at how to decorate but that can wait, for now I need to sleep. Gently I peel off Namjoon’s sweater and fold it nicely. I’ll make sure to have it cleaned for him before giving it back. 

Like a zombie I change into the comfy clothing and cleanup before bed. My head feels so much better as the buns come tumbling down. I can’t even look at the mirror knowing that I look as bad as I feel. 

Crawling into the bed, my mind can’t seem to turn off as my body aches for sleep. I guess I’m missing home just a little. On instinct I reach for my phone that’s plugged up and rest it where I can lay in bed and video chat. Clicking on Nat’s name I patiently wait. 

“Why are you still awake?”  I look around in the background and I can tell she’s back at home already. Her exam must be finished already. 

“I can’t sleep.” My voice feels foreign to my ears. I wonder if this is how Namjoon feels. 

“Then tell me about your day. I haven’t really gotten to talk to you since you left.” It’s no secret that Nat hates being separated from Nikole and I. That’s why it was difficult for her to accept that I was leaving. There were tons of late nights spent packing and just talking. 

“There’s not much to tell. Dinner was interesting though.” My eyes start to close, they feel like a thousand pounds. 

“I would hope so. I mean after all you got to hangout with seven of the coolest people ever.” I huff out a laugh at my sister’s comment. Nuzzling my head into the pillows as I struggle to pull the covers up, Nat lets out a small huff.

“Get some sleep sis.” 

Buzz ...Buzz...Buzz….

My eyes screw close tighter as I blindly reach for my phone on the nightstand. Groaning out in frustration I finally grab the cold device and shiver slightly as I lift it to my ear, the cord snagging as I struggle with it. 

“Hello…” My voice cracks towards the end as I roll over to see sunlight pouring in from the window beside me. What time is it?

“Good morning y/n! It’s Hoseok, I thought you wanted help going shopping this morning?” There’s a slight teasing tone in his voice, pulling my phone away I check the time. 1:30 p.m. Crap!

There’s a knock on my door and I instantly take off sprinting. I must look crazy because as I fling the door open Hoseok jumps back with a look of pure shock. His phone slowly drops from his ear and he quickly ends the call. In front of him sit my three suitcases that went missing yesterday. Thank god they are here. 

“I’m so sorry. I overslept, please tell me you weren’t waiting too long.” I bow slightly but I snap back up when a breeze hits my skin. How could I forget that I’m not wearing my own clothes?! Idiot.

“When Namjoon couldn’t get ahold of you I went ahead and did a few other errands.” My eyes dart back to the phone in my hands and notice the dozens of missed calls and texts. One being an email from BigHit…..fantastic. 

“I guess you aren’t too used to jet lag like the rest of us. Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll take you to get some coffee.” Hoseok smiles widely and I feel a new bubble of energy burst in my body. Grabbing two of the suitcases, I roll them into the apartment before grabbing the third one. 

“Give me like...5 minutes. I’ll try to be quick.” Bowing apologetically, I snatch my pink suitcase and take off for my bedroom. My feet barely miss the empty boxes that litter the living room from last night. I’ll have to figure out where to take these later this afternoon. 

Slamming my door shut louder than I intended I make myself jump. Skimming through my notifications I get the gist of what all I missed; my sisters being nosey and overprotective, Namjoon trying to wake the sleeping beast, a few texts from Hoseok trying to figure out if I’m awake and lastly an email reminding me of the meeting at 8am on Monday which has a dress code of business casual. So I’ll have to take a bag of my dance clothes to change into. I might as well leave some in my office if this is a regular thing. 

Tossing my phone to the side, I unzip the large suitcase and pull out my favorite Saturday outfit. Stripping out of Yoongi’s shorts I jump around as I tug up the black ripped skinny jeans, almost tripping over my carry on. Lord today might be my last day on earth with how clumsy I’ve been today. Cheering quietly in victory I gently take off Jungkook’s huge shirt and dress myself in my version of the white T-shirt, top it all off with a black and red flannel, finishing it off with white converse. Perfect. Now time to take the mane. 

“Hey y/n are these videos the ones you made before moving?” Hoseok yells out from the office as I shove my toothbrush into my mouth. Closing my lips around the brush, I throw my hair up into a messy bun and emerge from my room. 

“Yes….I can...show you...later.” I manage to say through foamed toothpaste without looking like a crazy person. It must be an entertaining look because Hoseok tried hard to hide his laughter. Running back, I spit out the foam and grab the face mask Jimin gave me last night just in case. 

Grabbing everything I need, phone-check, purse-check, mask-check, keys...in the purse. 

“Ready?” Tilting my head to the side, a child like smile spreads on my face. I’ve never been this excited to go grocery shopping before. Must be the sunshine effect of the famous J-Hope. It feels weird to call him by his stage name so I’ll just wait until he tells me to. 

“Let’s get going! But first coffee. There’s a little shop down the road and they know to be discreet.” 

Discretion. Something I’ve never really been used to but now it’s a huge factor in my job. Being around one of the fastest growing bands in the world comes with more media attention. Their stylist and trainers don’t really get much exposure but I saw their old choreographer a lot more in photos and videos. The fans didn’t say much because it was another guy. I can just imagine what the fans will think with a woman around all the time. 

I knew the risks, I’m very well aware that one wrong step could lead to me being back home. Is this even acceptable? Going shopping with one of the members and their manager doesn’t sound like a situation that’s allowed. But if it was a big deal Namjoon would’ve stopped me. 

There’s a black van pulled up to the front and a large man standing outside of vehicle. Security. Better safe than sorry. 

“Sorry. Normally our managers drive us around.” 

“It’s fine. I know your safety is more important. If it’s too much of a hassle I can always go on my own.”

“No way! You’re not going to get rid of me that easily. After yesterday I can’t wait to see what you’ve come up with.” 

A sincere sunshine smile radiates from Hoseok as he slides the van door open for us. Fumbling with my mask I hop into my seat. The door slams loudly and my nerves start to go haywire. It’s justifiable though considering I’ve never been alone with any other member beside Namjoon for more than a few minutes. This adventure could hours…

Snatching my phone out of my purse I send a quick text to Namjoon letting him know that I’m internally freaking out. 

Y/N:‘Why did I agree to this? I feel like Hoseok will get bored of me.’

RM: ‘Just be yourself. See you later, working on something.’

“Is it nice having a Saturday off Hoseok? I remember Namjoon telling me once that getting a full weekend off feels like a vacation.” It’s no secret that each member works themselves to the bone. Namjoon has told me countless times that Yoongi would stay for days on end in the studio.  

“It’s strange but I’m glad. There was a lot of things I needed to get done today and this is the last errand.” His fingers are typing quickly on the screen. Looking away so I don’t invade his privacy, my eyes take in the scenery. Small shops and large crowds fill the streets. 

“I’m so sorry for making you wait. I feel bad. You all were more than willing to help me last night.” Looking down at the phone, I lock it and slide it into my purse. I still need to figure out how to repay them for their help. Last night I thought I could make dinner but it may just be easier if I take everyone out. 

The car comes to a stop in front of a small coffee shop. Shuffling through my purse, I bring up the white mask and cautiously wrap around my ears. Last night was almost a disaster when I felt the straps tug at my earrings. Pulling the door, Hoseok jumps out and holds the door open long enough for me to exit as well. The manager leads the way as we enter the small shop. 

It’s adorable. Small tables line the walls and there’s a large bookcase beside the register. Maybe on my next day off I can come in and read a book. Smiling I stand behind Hoseok and stare at the menu. Bouncing on the balls of my feet as I order an iced coffee, my eyes wander around the shop. I can’t help but notice a few curious customers staring at the two of us. For some reason my heart starts to hammer in my chest. The last thing I want is to get Hoseok in trouble.

“Don’t worry too much. I come here a lot, with and without security.” His words calm my heart a little, but I still want to leave. I guess it’s the gitters of being so close to a member of BTS. Or maybe because I haven’t even gotten to work a real first day yet. 

Hoseok pats my shoulder lightly as our names are called. Taking my cup with a quiet ‘thank you’ I follow the man in front of me back into the safety of the van. Tugging the mask down to take a sip I feel a sigh of relief escape my body. 

“I didn’t realize last night that you have so many piercings. They look really cool.” Raising a hand up I trace the line of piercings. The studs feel rough under my finger as I twist the one on the bottom.

“It’s something my sisters and I did growing up. It was almost a competition, if one of us would get another the other two would. Nikole has more though, I stopped with the three on top and bottom.” The last time I got a piercing was after the BTS concert. Adrenaline was pumping through me and it was all I could think of. 

“Jungkookie will be jealous that you have more than him.” His giggle makes my body vibrate with energy. Being around Hoseok is like being around a ball of pure, fun energy. It makes me want to run a mile, clean my entire house and dance for hours. None of which I’ll get done today but it’s a nice thought. 

Pulling into a large parking lot, there’s a lot more people than I thought would be. That’s what I get for sleeping in so late. Definitely not going to bed at a decent time tonight. 

“Ms. y/l/n, Hoseok you will have to be quick. Traffic is starting to pick up and it will just be safer.” Nodding slowly, all four of us exit the van and make our way to the store. Hoseok bumps my shoulder as we both grab a cart. Laughing lightly, I bump against him as I walk beside him. 

As we walk through the store, both of our carts start to fill up. His more than mine though since he’s getting enough for seven compared to my one. The more that we’re inside, the more my face starts to feel warmer and warmer from the mask. I should’ve worn one back home to adjust. 

“What else do you need Hoseok?” Clearing my throat, I tug at the mask to let a small breeze of cool air in. I don’t want to seem like I’m rushing him because he was nice enough to wait for me. 

“Um...I think I need to get some milk and then I’m done. Are you feeling okay? I noticed you messing with the mask.” 

“I’m fine. Just getting a little toasty, don’t worry about it.” Adding some cheer into my voice, I pick up the pace beside him. A few people look at us as we pass them, a few younger girls have their phones out giggling in groups. I really hope no one notices Hoseok right now. 

“Um, do you think everyone would like to go to dinner tonight? My treat.” Those words make him stop in his tracks. A goofy laugh erupts from his chest as he almost doubles over. 

“After last night I think everyone would like that, but are you sure about paying? Jungkook and Jin could out eat anyone you’ve met.” 

“I’m completely sure. I need to make sure you all eat well before I put you to work on Monday.” Winking at him, we make our way to the checkout counter and start to pay for everything. The process of checking out is so much quicker than our almost hour long shopping trip. I can’t believe we’ve been here that long. 

Patiently waiting for Hoseok, I hold tightly to the handles I look around at the rest of the store. There’s definitely more people, I can’t help but swallow nervously. The voice in the back of my mind telling me it was a bad idea. 

“All done! Let’s get back.” His singsong voice calms me as all four of us make our way back to the van. Being careful to divide our things into two different piles, we jump right back in and sink into the plush seats. Hoseok quickly pulls out his phone and types at the speed of lightning. Pulling my mask down, I take in a deep breath. 

“Everyone but Namjoon and Yoongi will help us carry all of this stuff up.” A strange wave of guilt hits me. 

“Hoseok don’t worry about me. I can carry all of mine up.” 

“Call me J-Hope, everyone does. And don't worry about it. It’s no big deal.” 

Of course I could only get away with being so formal for so long. And there’s no point in arguing with him either. 

“Good. And the quicker we get these groceries put away the faster I can watch the videos.” Even through the mask I see a smirk. 

I can’t help but smirk too. Of course there’s a hidden meaning behind the kind actions. Two can sort of play that game too. 

“Very true. But don’t tell the others. Take it as a thank you for going shopping with me.” I elbow him gently as I winked at him. Earning me a genuine Hoseok laugh. 

The drive back is quicker and before I know it the four other members are waiting somewhat calmly down at the front door. It’s strange to see them so ...domestic. 

Hoseok jumps out of the van as soon as it’s parked, which gets him a slight scolding from his manager. I can’t help but giggle. Not even worrying about the mask, I follow suit and jump out. All of the boys are dressed in joggers and long sleeve shirts. Their hair disarray from laying around and enjoying their day off. Taehyung greets me with a large boxy smile and an enthusiastic wave. 

“Hobi hyung I think you got too much.” Jimin slightly complains as he grabs the bags Hoseok passes. Wiggling my way through I manage to grab all of my bags but some get taken from my hands. I teeter for a second at the sudden weight shift as I stare at a grinning Taehyung.

“Oh, thank you Taehyung.” 

“No problem!” 

He leads the way with a bounce in his step and I can’t help to put a little more pep in my step. As we enter the building I can’t help but feel like someone is staring at me. Glancing over my shoulder I catch the quick turn of Jimin’s head as he busies himself by grabbing bags. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. 

The ride up to the apartment is quiet but in a relaxing way. I don’t feel pressured to start or continue a conversation or ask questions. It’s nice. 

As the elevator dings, I step out and Taehyung is right behind me. Unlocking my door, I move flat against the door so he can enter before me. 

“Do you need help getting rid of those boxes y/n?” His head nods towards the large pile of broken down boxes and a bag full of paper. That’s something else I need to take care of today before Hoseok comes over. But then again there’s no point in rushing myself to completely move in after only being here a full day. 

“I was going to take care of them later Taehyung, thank you though.” His smile never fades as he bounces to the door again after dropping the bags on the kitchen counter. With a quick wave, the door shuts loudly and I’m left in a silent apartment. A sigh wrecks through my body as I trudge into the kitchen. Setting down the bags, I fish out my phone and open up the group chat Taehyung created. 

Y/N:‘To say thank you for everything, why don’t we all go out to dinner tonight? My treat :)’

Leaving my phone sit unlocked, I start to figure out how I want to arrange everything. Humming along to a random tune, my phone vibrates nonstop for a solid minute before I finally get to check it. 

Kookie:’Be ready at 6 noona! I’ll come get you!’

J-Hope:’I told you this might be a bad idea, Jin hyung and Kookie are already getting a reservation.’

Jin:’Eating is never a bad idea, see you at 6 y/n!’

RM:’I go to work in the studio for a few hours...see you soon everyone.’

A few more texts come in from Taehyung and Yoongi but Jimin stays silent. Letting out a huff, I throw all the bags into the trash can and before I can shuffle off into my room a loud knock echoes from the front door. Hoseok.

“Come in!” I yell from the living room and he’s practically jumping as he takes a seat on the couch. Giggling I load the dvd into the player and take a seat beside him.

“I’m going to have to tweak it a little once I see everyone grouped together. But it’s basically the finished product.” 

“Lets see it. I haven’t been this excited to have practice in a long time.” 

My heart flutters at his words as I press play. A wave of nervousness washes over me as I try to gauge his reaction. For the first time he’s completely expressionless around me. Biting the inside of my cheek I curl up into a ball and pick at my nails. He probably hates it. Or he probably wishes that I didn’t replace their previous coach. As the song comes to an end, the screen fades to black. I can’t bring myself to look at him as the next song plays. 

An excruciating twenty minutes later, the DVD stops playing and silence hangs around us. I almost want to run into a studio and start over on everything without even hearing his opinions. 

“That ...are you sure we can’t start today?!”

Huh….

Glancing over at him, my stomach settles and I can’t help but burst out laughing. Here I was thinking that he hated it. Hoseok’s brows furrow together as I laugh even harder at his reaction.

“Sorry...ha..I thought you hated it. I was ready to run to the company and remake everything.”

“Ah, sorry…But honestly this is pretty incredible. It’s intricate and eye catching. We’ve got our work cut out for us this time for sure.” Hoseok searches for his phone and lets out a deep sigh. His expression went from carefree to annoyed in the blink of an eye, I wonder what’s going on.

“I have to go, but I’ll see you for dinner.” He’s off the couch instantly as he forces a smile saying goodbye. 

I can’t wrap my mind around what just happened as I stare at the closed door. Maybe something came up with the members? It’s none of my business though, whatever happens in their personal life is completely private and I shouldn’t pry into it.

Tossing the remote onto the coffee table, I fall back into the couch and stare up at the white ceiling. For the first time in days, I’m not exhausted. Every fiber of my being is surging with energy to do something, anything really. The only thing really left to do is unpack my bedroom. Perfect. 

Tapping my phone screen to double check the time, I have enough time to unload all of my suitcases and play around with my room. Connecting my phone to the speaker in my room music starts to fill the silent apartment and a large smile spreads on my lips. My eyes land on the pictures that I hid away in my room last night. Instantly I grab them and place them on top of the dresser so they wouldn’t get broken. 

I can’t believe that Jimin found those last night, actually I can’t believe my sister packed those without me even knowing. Actually I can. My sister would do anything to embarssess me in front of each and every member. They’ve managed to do so in front of Namjoon so many times that I’ve just gotten used to it. But the worst case scenario for me is Park Jimin. I’ve always admired his style of dance and how he can move so seamlessly with any genre of music. 

The music in my room stops playing and ‘Just One Day’ starts blaring through the speakers. My cheeks flush red as I search for my phone that’s mixed in with the massive pile of clothes littering my bed. I finally find it and roll my eyes at the caller id. 

“Yes Namjoon…” There’s a slight annoyance in my voice but it disappears when I hear a few different chuckles in the background. 

“I just wanted to call and let you know to dress up.” Dress up? Where in the world are we going?

“Um...why?” I hear a few more giggles in the background before Namjoon hushed everyone. 

“Seems that everyone is going a little over the top tonight outfit wise. Taehyung came out completely overdressed and now everyone else is trying to outdo each other.” 

“You did warn me that they could be a little over the top.” Sighing I look at the piles of clothes, at least this time I have plenty of options. But I’m definitely calling Nat for some input, after all having a fashion designer in the family comes in handy. 

“It’s a surprise. I just wanted to give you enough heads up.” 

“Thanks. I guess I better finish up what I’m doing so I can look presentable for everyone.” I can’t help but chuckle as I end the call and frantically call my sister. Hopefully she’s still awake. 

Who am I kidding, that girl runs off of two hours of sleep and coffee. 

Clicking on the facetime icon, I run and start the shower so I can just jump in once Nat ends the call. Just as I suspect, her face pops on the screen. Her hair is thrown up into a messy bun and she’s sitting at her desk. She’s probably working overtime on her midterm project like always. 

“Nat I need help!” The desperation is clear in my voice as I flip the camera over to look at the mess of clothes. An annoyed sigh comes through the speaker as she rolls her eyes.

“Hello to you too dear sister. Last time I checked you moved halfway around the world....how could I possibly help you?” 

“I need your expert advice. Help me pick out a nice outfit for dinner tonight, pretty please!” Flipping the camera back around I pout at the screen which earns me a gut filled laugh from Nat. Honestly if it wasn’t for her I would be constantly dressed in leggings and tank tops. 

“Fine. But what do I get out of it?” I know she’s teasing me but I feel bad for interrupting her work. I’ll have to think about something just so she knows that I appreciate everything. 

“I’ll think of something like always. But please Nat, I don’t have long to figure out some sort of outfit and get myself presentable.”

“You’re acting like this is some huge dinner. Is it a work event?” 

“Uh, you could say that I guess. I’m going with people I work with.” It’s not a lie but it’s not the truth either. The last thing I want is another lecture from my little sister about boundaries and keeping work separate outside of the office. 

“Good to know that you still try to keep secrets from me, but I won’t ask. Since I know all of the clothes you own, how about the black turtle neck with the red skirt. Wear the thigh high black heels.” 

My eyes dart around the pile as I grab the items she lists off and I can’t help but smile. Nat is going to make a great stylist for sure once she’s out of college. Whoever she works for will be really lucky. 

“Anything else dear sister?” 

“Don’t go over the top with anything else, keep it simple. Curl your hair though.” 

“Thank you, how’s the project coming? I know that you only have about a month or so left.” 

“I’ve been struggling with finding the right accent piece. But it’s not going to stop me from passing. Anyways it was great talking but I really need to finish this, it’s due on Monday.” 

“You’ll do amazing considering you can style me from halfway around the world. Love you!”

She blows a kiss at the camera as the screen goes black. I release a sigh of relief, I’m beyond glad that she didn’t try to pry too much into things. Hanging the items up on a hanger, I hurry and put away the rest of my clothes and suitcases. It’s a rushed job but it will do for now. Later on I can always rearrange and make it look nicer. But for now I have to hurry and get ready. 

A few hours later and a few energy drinks later I’m completely dressed and ready to go. Taking all of Nat’s advice, I bend down and zip up the heels. My hair falls in my face and I huff out an annoyed breath to blow it away. Normally I love to keep my hair up and out of the way since it’s so long but tonight isn’t a night where I can do that. But maybe I can pin it back. Shuffling to the bathroom, stupid heels, I twist a small section on each side and pin it back so my face is hair free. All of my piercings are visible as well and I can’t help but smile. Maybe the next time I get together with my sisters I’ll add on another one. 

Switching off the bathroom light, I move back into my room and dig out my small black boy bag and throw my phone and keys inside. Hopefully we are driving because I highly doubt I’ll be able to walk all the way to and from the restaurant like last time. Turning towards my closet I catch my reflection in the full length mirror and instantly my stomach tightens. 

All my life I’ve been self conscious about my body and looks. By no means am I overweight but I’ve always felt the pressure of fitting into the social standard of “thin and beautiful”. Since I’ve danced my entire life my legs are more toned and have more muscle than other women my size. Whenever I wear skirts or dresses I always feel a little people are silently judging me for wearing something so revealing and not having that picture perfect thigh gap. 

Pulling at the hem of the skirt I stand straight up and suck in a deep breath. I really hope they don’t think I look too bad. And I really hope they don’t think this outfit is a normal occurrence either. This will be one of the only times I wear something like this in front of them. 

A loud knock at the door snaps me out of my inner thoughts and I take in another deep breath. 

“Let’s do this.” 

Switching off the lights as I go, I open the door to a smiling Jungkook. He’s jumping on the balls of his feet as I step into the hallway and lock my door. Looks like Namjoon was being serious about dressing up, Jungkook’s wearing dress pants with a navy blue dress shirt. He looks like he’s about to go to an interview, not dinner with his brothers and his choreographer. 

“You look nice noona. Ready for dinner?” A bunny smile graces his lips, it’s the most pure smile I’ve ever seen. Nodding yes and whispering out a small thank you we ride the elevator down to the lobby where the other six men are waiting for us. 

And if I didn’t have as much respect as I do for them I might have just fangirl. Each of them is dressed like Jungkook but with a different colored shirt. Namjoon was being dead serious about it being almost a competition. My cheeks heat up as everyone turns to look at us and I meet eyes with Jimin. Crap. After him finding my picture yesterday I feel weird around him. What if he thinks I’m just some crazy fan that’s trying to get close to everyone. 

“Do you mind driving one of the cars y/n? Jin is going to drive too that way we don’t have to walk everywhere.” Namjoon walks over to greet me with a dimpled smile.

“Absolutely, who’s riding with us?” His smile fades as he adjusts the glasses on his face.

“Actually I don’t know where the restaurant is. JK and Jin have been there a few times. The maknae line actually all called dibs on riding with you.” 

There’s a bunch of snickers and giggles around us. I guess there’s no getting out of this one. I mean what could possibly go wrong with the four of us in a car? I mean we’re all about the same age anyways. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Walking towards the door, I walk past most of them except for Namjoon who’s keeping pace right beside me. The others are hot on our heels but that doesn’t stop Namjoon from picking on me.

“I’m guessing you called Natalie since you hung up on me earlier.” He elbows me gently, which normally wouldn’t cause me to stumble but since I’m in these awful heels I teater just a tad. Someone grabs my waist to help me rebalance but it’s gone as soon as it was there, snapping my head to the side I catch a glimpse of Jimin walking past. Maybe I just imagined it, I mean it was super quick. 

“I call passenger!” Jungkook screams and goes running for my car. Taehyung is right behind him as they race for the spot. Looking over at Namjoon he mouths out ‘good luck’ as he gets into Jin’s car. Great….

Jungkook whips out his phone and instantly starts to play music over the bluetooth. In the backseat Taehyung and Jimin sing along and dance. We haven’t even left the parking lot yet. Buckling up, Jungkook just tells me to follow behind Jin. There’s no questions asked but instead we have our own karaoke montage. Anything from their early music to new music by American artists. Thankfully we make it to the restaurant in no time. 

As soon as we make it into the private room, I take the seat beside Namjoon and tap his shoulder firmly. That was a long car ride and we only went ten minutes down the road. It’s like he can read my mind as he pours me a small glass of soju. Smoothing my skirt down, I sit down and accept his offer of apology. Sipping the glass slowly the seat next to me gets taken by Jungkook quickly as Taehyung and Jimin snag the seats across from me. I can’t lie that the ride was fun but it was chaotic. I never realized how much energy they all have, not just Jungkook. 

“Did all of the maknae have fun?” Yoongi chuckles as he looks through the menu. Shrugging my shoulders I continue to sip my glass and read through the menu. 

“We might steal noona on the way back though. She hasn’t gotten to explore much since she just got here.” My eyes widen as I choke on my drink slightly. This was definitely not something I planned on doing. Jungkook turns to me with a twinkle in his eyes but this time I have to say no. There’s too many risks.

“I’m sorry Jungkook, maybe another time. I don’t think it’s such a good idea for all of us to go out. We could get spotted, I could get in trouble with BigHit. Maybe another time okay?”

The pout that forms on his lips makes me want to instantly take back everything I said but I can’t. Maybe after I get on good terms with everyone at the company then I can possibly take him up on the offer of exploring. 

“Listen to her Jungkookie. The last thing we want is for y/n to not even start her first day and get in trouble.” Yoongi comments to relieve me from the instant guilt I feel from telling him no. Listening to his hyung he nods and starts to talk with Hoseok. Smiling, I look back down at the menu and breath deeply. Looking through my lashes I notice Jimin and Taehyung looking at me discreetly. Or at least trying to. What if Jimin told him about the picture? Mentally I smack myself because I know that I’m being a little paranoid. If there was a problem Namjoon would’ve said something already. 

After placing our orders, the room is filled with laughter and numerous stories. I try to chime in here and there but I’m too interested in listening. So I sit quietly in my chair as Namjoon and I work on a bottle of wine that he’s ordered. Everyone seems to be having fun so the atmosphere is light and bubbly. I lean over and turn my head away from everyone to whisper to Namjoon. 

“This is probably the wine talking, but what you all have is special.” A gentle smile rest on both of our faces as I turn to take in the rest of the members. They are all smiling and seem to be carefree despite their hectic and unpredictable lives. An occupational hazard of being an idol. 

“It’s been a struggle, you know that. I feel like we’re finally at a place where our music helps others.” The sincerity in his voice makes me nod in agreement as goosebumps form under my sleeves. 

“It does, more than you all know.” Smiling brightly at him, I look across and notice that the maknaes have been watching the small conversation between us. Taehyung seems to be watching closer than the other two but he turns away quickly when Hoseo calls for him. 

Letting out the breath I had been holding in, the food comes out in platters on the table. Everyone starts to fill their plates as the conversations still seem to pour out. I nibble on my food, too much wine in my system, as I listen to them recall day from their debut times. My heart clenches as I want to comment on their first performance in the states but Namjoon and I both made an agreement. One that I plan on keeping. 

“You’re quiet y/n, is everything okay?”

“Huh, oh yeah everything’s fine Jimin. I’m just taking everything in.” 

“Did I tell you guys that y/n went to a concert of ours back in the states?” Jimin smiles as he looks at me straight on. His tone isn’t mean in any way, more like playful teasing but I can’t help the blush forming on my face. 

“Ah, my sisters and I went to one. It was amazing! Probably one of the best nights of our lives.” Nervously I reach for my chopsticks and start poking at the food on my plate. I feel my phone buzz in my bag but I ignore it as I try to divert attention away from me. 

“It looked like it. What was your favorite song on the setlist?” 

“Fire, for sure. It was…” I stop midway through to try and process how I felt seeing my choreo performed. My heart was racing as I sang along with every word and tried not to dance along as well. There was a surge of energy and pure adrenaline that kept me up for hours after the concert. 

“Something else. I guess seeing all the hard work that was put into the song and choreo...there’s no other feeling greater than that.” Tilting my head to the side a large smile forms as I look back up at everyone. The sincerity in my answer seems to resonate with the members as they all nod in agreement. We continue eating our dinner in a peaceful silence. Relaxing into my chair I suck in a breath of relief.

Once dinner is over and the drinks have ran dry, a few of the members excuse themselves to go to the restroom or are trying to get ready to leave. For the first time I’m left alone with Jin and it’s fun. Everyone else makes fun of him for his dad jokes but yet I love them. Laughing up a storm, I look around for anyone else but it seems they’re all waiting. 

“I guess I need to get the bill. Everyone seems to be waiting outside.” 

“They have to wait for us either way since we are the two that drove. But about the bill…Yoongi may or may not have already paid while we were sitting here.” Jin gently shrugs his shoulders as I facepalm myself. This was supposed to be my way of thanking everyone for helping. He stands from the table and motions with his head to follow him. 

Groaning I stand up and grab my bag tightly. Standing next to Jin is slightly intimidating even with these heels on. He opens the front door for me and I bow in thanks as we meet with group. Yoongi scratches at the back of his head as I shoot him a slight annoyed glare. But my eyes soften as I get closer to him. 

“Thank you Yoongi. This was supposed to be my treat though.” I say quietly as I stand in front of him, still not quiet eye level.

“Just go easy on us.” He finishes with a wink and goes towards Jin’s car. It seems like this is our que to head back to the dorms. Halfway skipping and partially stumbling because of these stupid heels, I open the driver door and plop down. 

As soon as the car starts, all four of us sing along to some random song playing on the radio. Of course the other three sound amazing compared to me but it makes the drive go by quicker. That and the fact that it’s late and not many people are out. My eyes bulge out slightly at the time displayed on the dashboard...it’s almost 10:30. I can’t believe we were at dinner for almost four hours, that’s insane. But I guess it makes sense considering there were eight of us. 

“Are we going to be starting everything on Monday?” Taehyung yells over the music causing me to turn it down and interrupt Jimin and Jungkook’s mini concert. 

“Yes. But first I have a meeting with all the department heads. After that I’ll do a run through with each of you individually. Hoseok will show you the video while I’m gone.”

They all seem to absorb everything I’m saying as I pull into a parking spot. Jungkook and Taehyung jump out of the car as I let out a deep sigh before turning off the car. Jimin moves just as slowly as I do. I can’t tell whether he’s tired or is bored, but I’m not going to interrogate him. Opening my door, I lock the car as I watch the swarm of men walk through the doors. Instead of following them, I walk over to a bench that’s nestled between two trees on the edge of the building. 

Sitting down slowly, I crane my neck back so I can look up at the night sky. Back at home if you stayed out late enough you could see a sky full of stars but there are too many lights for that here. Stargazing has been a nightly occurrence for the past few months. These past few months I’ve been working around the clock and running on coffee. It’s nice to see that all of that hard work finally got me here but the exhaustion is definitely catching up to me. 

“You’ll catch a cold if you stay out here too long without a jacket.” 

Snapping my head over my hair spills over my face and I let out a huff of annoyance. Reaching into my bag, I pull out my backup hairtie and pull it into a high ponytail. Jimin takes the empty seat next to me and looks up at the sky as well. Silently I’m thankful that he doesn’t want to lecture me any further or have a conversation. Returning my gaze upwards I hear Jimin take in a deep breath.

There’s a tension in the air. It feels like both of us want to say something but we are too afraid too. Turning my head slowly I look at the man beside me and I instantly snap my head back. My cheeks feel hot and my stomach does a flip. All of this feels like a dream, one that I’m going to wake up from at any moment. But yet here I am.

“Let’s head inside. Last thing I want is for the famous Park Jimin to catch a cold before I get a chance to work with him.” 

Standing up simultaneously I turn my head to the side and show him a small smile. He musters a nod as he walks beside me quietly. Warmth hits us as we enter the building and I don’t realize how cold I was until my hands start shaking. Jimin hits all the buttons for us as we ride in complete silence as we reach his floor.

“Good night Jimin.”

“Good night y/n.”

The doors close as he’s still looking at me and I let out a breath I had been holding. Monday is going to be a challenge. Could he be questioning my credibility? Or my skill all together. I know that I danced with them for a song and then let them watch the choreo I made. But I know better than anyone that people can look talented by those but turn out to be a complete fraud. Practicing the same thing over and over again will make you a pro at that one thing. 

The beeping of the elevator pulls me from my head as I march to my front door. Excitement rushes through my veins at the thought of taking off my shoes and changing into something more...well me. The apartment is quiet as I make my way back to my bedroom and change into my pajamas. 

Before I know it, I’m huddled up in my blankets reading through the twenty emails I missed from BigHit while I was out today. I’ll give them credit, as a company they stay in constant contact and make sure everyone is on the same page with each and every department. And everyone knows the schedule of the others.

‘BigHit Monday Schedule:

8:00-9:30 Meeting in main conference room

9:45-12:45 BTS training with y/n in dance room 1

12:45-1:45 Lunch

2:00-3:15 BTS fitting with stylist

3:30-5:00 Individual schedules 

5:15-6:30 Studio time

Any activity after 6:30 is considered free time/training time.’ 

They weren’t kidding when they said they had busy schedules. I get them for three hours on Monday and that’s it. I’ll have to step up my game then. Maybe I’ll get more time throughout the week because I’ll need way more time than 15 hours a week. But if that’s all I get then I’ll have to make some changes to the choreo. 

Looks like this is going to be more of a challenge than I originally thought. But I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge. 

[joyfulwinnerpolice]

PIWIS 2 SETUP AS A VIRTUAL MACHINE

This is a way to setup the PIWIS 2 software as a virtual machine (VM) inside Oracle’s VirtualBox, which is free VM software.

This is just the software. You clearly need to purchase the hardware (cable) to connect to the car. You can just setup the VM and use the simulation mode in PIWIS to have a play prior to purchasing the hardware if you like.

To the people who made this available, I take my hat off to you. There was clearly a lot of effort from some very smart people that allowed someone like me to get access to the software.

Background info:

PIWIS 2 runs natively in Windows XP. XP is no longer supported, and it is difficult to acquire an old computer that runs XP and keep it running. Using the software in a VM, whilst slower, will ensure you are able to keep the software forever regardless of the computer you use. I use a laptop that was pretty slick back in 2014, but is pretty slow by today’s standards. It takes a few minutes to get the VM loaded, but after that it’s as fast as any diagnostic software I’ve used in the past on other car types.

A while ago I was fortunate enough to stumble on a link to PIWIS II as a bunch of files that, through a specified process got software loaded and licenced on either an XP computer or a VM. Not having an XP computer, I went down the road of creating a VM.

Once the VM was created and the software licenced, it was a simple process of making a backup of the VM. This backup can then be imported to VirtualBox on any computer as an XP image with the PIWIS software is installed. There are only a few things that need to be done once the VM is created so that it’s good to go. It’s a surprisingly simple process.

Requirements:

A reasonably fast computer. Most modern laptops will easily do the job. A minimum of 1.5GB of excess RAM (this is what is going to be allocated to the VM). Use Task Manager to see what is normally used. 8GB of RAM on a standard Windows 10 install should easily have enough to spare. 4GB probably won’t. A minimum of 20 GB of spare hard drive capacity. This is what VirtualBox and the VM will take once installed.

For those who don’t know what a VM is, Google it and do some reading. Very simply you are creating a separate computer (guest) within your computer (host). You allocate resources from your host (RAM, etc) and run the guest within a window on your normal desktop.

Here’s how to set it up.

1. Google ‘VirtualBox downloads’. Go to the download page and download the latest version of VirtualBox for the platform you use (PC, mac, etc). On the same page, download the extension pack. This isn’t platform specific and is the same file for all operating systems.

2. Log into your computer into the administrator account. Install VirtualBox. Once installed, open the program and then install the extension pack. You can’t install the extension pack unless you are logged in as an administrator. Installing the extension pack needs to be done from the preferences window of the VirtualBox program. If required, Google for how to do this. There are lots of videos how. Image below is what it should look like after the extension pack is installed. If not installed, it won’t be listed. Click the + button (red circle), find the extension pack file you downloaded and select it to be installed.

3. Once VirtualBox and the extension pack have been installed you can log out of the administrator account if you want and login where you normally work.

4. Download the .ova file from the following link. It’s about 12.3 GB. This is the backup file of the VM. Depending on the browser you use, it might sometimes give a network error, and you will have to start again. Try another browser if you are getting this error. Also, when you ask to download the file, google drive will give you a warning that the file size is too large to virus scan. The machine where I created the file uses up to date virus scanning software. I’m confident it’s clean, but only you can make the decision of whether to download. I’ve downloaded the file to other machines and created the VM with no problems.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ST3ZMgxvyufgvMNMlmany9Om4NpwDVny/view?usp=sharing

5. Open VirtualBox. Go to file, then import appliance. Go to the .ova file you just downloaded and select this. There are a few clicks of OK, and then allow the new VM to be created. It will take a few minutes.

6. If you have a cable, don’t connect it yet, we’ll do that later.

7. Click on the VM (should be called PIWIS) in the left pane and then click start. It will now start Windows XP. On the desktop, PIWIS is the car icon at the bottom.

8. Right click on the ‘shortcut to praegeng.xml’ file and open in notepad. Go to the line that has ‘validationstring’ and change the ‘x’ to ‘9999’. This will now give the software a licence validation time of 9999 days. Save then close.

 9. Click on the PIWIS shortcut. When PIWIS starts, select diagnosis and then select the car you have. If you don’t have a cable it will tell you this and give you the option of using simulation mode to continue.

10. PIWIS is setup to operate in ‘V’ mode (after sales mode), which is what is used in the dealership. You can change to either of the other modes, E = developer, or P = production. When you initially open the program and you get the first page with the picture of the Cayman, click settings, then diagnostic configuration and then choose the model line. Click the mode tab at the top, and now you can go down to ‘operating mode’ and change the mode of the software. Save. Close. Now open the diagnostics for your car type and you should be in the new mode.

The vast majority of stuff you will want to change will be available in V (after sales) mode. NOTE 1: The developer mode is in German only. NOTE 2: Production mode doesn’t seem to work and locks you out of the program. I would suggest not using this. If you accidentally do select this, delete the VM (from the VirtualBox software window) and then create a new VM from the ova file you downloaded.

Connecting the cable.

There are a few things that need to be understood prior to trying to connect the cable. – The cable will only be recognised by the computer when the plug is connected to the car and the ignition is turned on. – when you start the VM, the cable needs to be powered, and the VM needs to be setup to immediately recognise the cable and mount it as the VM starts. If it doesn’t do it when it starts, you won’t be able to connect it afterwards once the VM is running.

To ensure this happens, do the following.

1. Open VirtualBox but don’t start the VM.

2. Turn ignition on (or start the car).

3. Have both cables connected to the interface, then plug into OBD port. Wait a few bananas.

4. Plug cable into computer.

5. Go to VirtualBox, Settings, USB. Click the small USB button on the right with the +, and then select the cable. Picture below shows what it should look like once done.

PIWIS-2-setup-as-a-virtual-machine-5

6. Now start VM. When the VM starts it should see the new hardware and try and automatically install the driver. Ask it to search for the driver when the wizard starts and then let it install.

7. Now start PIWIS. It should update the firmware on the cable hardware.

8. Now you should be able to open PIWIS and have all functionality.

9. Next time you use the software all the drivers will be loaded, but ensure you connect everything in the same order as described above (except the bits that are clearly for installing stuff).

NOTE: Everytime I use PIWIS, prior to starting the VM, I conduct step 5 to check the cable has been recognised by VirtualBox. I simply click on the + and see what USB devices VirtualBox can see at that moment. The Samtec interface should be in the list that immediately appears. If you haven’t done everything in the correct order, you will see ‘unknown device’. If this is the case, start the process again. I find that if I do this, I don’t go through the whole process of starting the VM and then Porsche diagnostic tool to find out it hasn’t connected correctly.

Examples of hardware you will need. You don’t need a hard drive with the software loaded, which they will most likely try and sell you as well. I bought the obd2tool cable and it works a treat, and the quality seems to be very good. If you told me it came from Porsche I would believe you.

Other details of the VM for those interested.

Guest additions doesn’t need to be installed as it is already in the ova file.

Two cores have been selected for processing. I initially used one and via Task Manager could see it was running at 100% for a lot of the time. Changing to two had it below 100% nearly all the time so I stuck with that. It was also noticeably faster when using two cores.

The most RAM I saw being used was about 950 MB. I’ve selected 1.5 GB to ensure it covers this easily. If you are short on RAM, you may want to tweak this.

[kokania00]

Computer Performance - 7 Ways to Speed Up Windows Computers

Are you sick and tired of it taking forever to open a website, file or program? Did your computer seem to run a lot faster when you first got it? If your answers to these 2 questions were yes, then please read on. In this article I am going to give you tips to speed up your computer. They can all be done today, even if you are new to computers. The 7 steps that I am going to share with you are so easy, believe me you can do it! These are techniques that computer technicians in several different support organizations do and some charge a lot of money for their walking you through these processes. You are going to get them today at no charge. Are you ready? Then let's begin!

Step 1: Scandisk

You should run scandisk at least once a month. This will make sure that your computer can read all of the information on your disk. How will this speed up my computer? I'm glad you asked! You see your computer has in it's hard drive what the technicians call redundancy. What I mean is if your computer is trying to read a file and the data isn't read correctly from the disk, the computer tries to read that information again and again a set number of times. This results in slower loading times. When scandisk is ran regularly this keeps your disk free of these storage errors and thus enables the computer to get the information it needs from the disk as fast as possible. Scandisk should be run before the next step each and every time.

I know you're asking, how do I run scandisk. It's simple. Find that icon on your desktop or in your start menu labeled 'My Computer'. In there you will see a listing of all the drives in your computer. Right click on the drive you want to scan and go to properties. There, you will have a tools tab. Click on it. You will see a button that says check for errors. This is scandisk or also called checkdisk on different versions of windows. There are 2 different modes, Standard or Thorough. Standard checks and makes sure that all the bits and pieces of your files are in the spot on the disk where it thinks they should be. In other words, it checks for filing errors. Thorough does a standard check as well as it tests each spot on the disk where the drive can write something and makes sure that what it writes, it reads back the same thing. If it doesn't read the same information back, it marks that spot as bad so that it is not used. This keeps down that redundancy thing we spoke of earlier. Wasn't that easy? Now, on to Step 2.

Step 2: Defrag

Defrag should be run once a week if you use your computer more than 14 hours a week. This equates to about 2 hours a day. Most people who actively use their computer will fall into this category. Defrag, whose real name is disk defragmenter, is your best friend for speed. You see when your computer writes something to the disk; it starts the disk to turning and drops bits of the data you want to write wherever there is a hole. It then tells the filing system where it placed that piece. So your file could be literally broken into 20 pieces! Your disk takes longer to load the file because it has to jump around to different spots to gather the pieces together when it needs it. Defrag takes care of this by gathering the pieces all together and writing them back to the disk in one piece. This way when you need the information, it's all right there. To run defrag it's the same as where we went for scandisk. You go to 'My Computer' and you right click on the drive you want to run defrag on and go to properties. There go to the tools tab. Click the Defragment button. Wow this is getting easier by the minute! On to step 3.

Step 3: Background Programs

Background programs really slow down your computer's performance. They accomplish this by using up your computer's resources. Resources are the combined power of your processor (brain), memory, and disk space. These 3 are the equivalent to horsepower. This is where you will gain a lot of your speed back as well. If you look at an area of your screen right now, I can show you a fraction of some of these that you never thought of. The area I want you to look at is called your system tray. It is located next to your clock, which is opposite your start menu. If your start menu is on the left side, then the clock is on the right. Next to the clock you will see these little icons or pictures. These are programs that run on your computer whenever it boots. Guess what, these are background programs. They are there to help load things you need faster. If you are following this guide you really don't need most of them. Do you?

Here's how you get rid of them and most of the others that you can't even see as well. Sorry folks who are on Windows 2000, this step won't work for you. If you read to the end I will give you a bonus that will make up for it, I promise. Ok, for the rest of you, click on start. Click on run. Type msconfig. Click ok. You should get a system configuration utility. Be very careful here and follow my instructions exactly. Click on the startup tab at the top. You will have a list of all the programs that run when your computer boots or starts. If you look down the list there will be some names that are familiar to you. When you see those names I want you to think: "Do I really need this program running all the time?" If the answer is no, uncheck the box. For example, some of you may have heard of RealPlayer. There's a smart start icon associated with it. You really don't need real player running when you are only going to be playing FreeCell now do you? :) On to step 4.

Step 4: Temporary Files

Temporary files hold up space on your disk. These files are most of the time useless. Temporary files are just that; files that were temporarily created by a program or installer. They are supposed to be deleted when not needed any longer, but a lot of programs do a poor job of cleaning them up. Helping them out will get you more speed for your horsepower. For example: let's take temporary internet files. When you go to a website every element of that website's decorations are stored in a temp file on your computer. Your computer does this to help supposedly. It's supposed to help by when you visit the same site again; the elements of the website will already be on your computer and therefore don't have to be downloaded again. This in theory should speed up your surfing right? Wrong! Here's what really goes down. For every element of the website, your computer reads every temp file to see if it matches. Every single file in your temporary internet files folder! To get a grasp of this here's what I want you to do. Open internet explorer. Go to the tools menu and click on internet options. Click the settings button. Then click the view files button. Do you see what I mean? Every file! Now...Close the temporary internet files window. Click OK on the settings window. Do you see that button next to settings on the internet options window? It's labeled delete files. Click it. Check delete all offline content. Click ok. When the hourglass is gone, you are all clean! This should be done once a month. This will keep your whole computer running smoothly. The secret lies in Internet Explorer. It's integrated so much into windows, when it has a problem, windows has a problem. What I am saying is when you opened my computer in steps 1 and 2. You were using internet explorer. Ok. Nuff said. On to step 5!

Step 5: Antivirus

Good Antivirus software is an absolute must! There are several choices to choose from. Some cost money and some don't. Viruses hide on your computer and wreak havoc. If you don't have antivirus software on your computer, you will never know they are there. They sit and hide out until their appointed time and then interfere with your computer. Viruses are programs written by people with too much time on their hands and not enough morals. They sit and think of ways to make your day bad. Some viruses will sit on your computer and do nothing but open up connections to other servers all over the internet. What does that do? It slows your computer down drastically! Nuff said. Your choices are to get paid antivirus software like Norton, Mcafee, or Computer Associates. If you don't have the cash to spare then you can go to your favorite search engine like Yahoo or Google and enter in 'free antivirus download' and get a list of all kinds of scanners. Some is far better than none. Some of the best free software that I have found are AVG, Avast!, and ClamWin. If you have a fear of installing software, never fear. There are also free online virus scanners. Again, you go to your favorite search engine and type in 'free online virus scan' and you will get plenty of results. Beware though, with these scanners you run the risk of getting infected still. The reason is you have to go to the site and scan the computer yourself, preferably once a week. In that time a virus could have already infected your machine. Antivirus software that you install on the computer checks every file, every time it's used thus drastically decreasing the chances of infection. It's like a flu shot. Some of the good online virus scanners are Norton, Panda, and BitDefender. Now, on to step 6.

Step 6: Recycle Bin

It is very important to keep your recycle bin empty. What I mean is this, you don't want to have hundreds of files sitting in your recycle bin that you deleted 6 months ago. They are taking up valuable space. Windows uses your drive as memory to run programs. When you run out of physical memory, it uses what's called a page or swap file and stores it there. These recycle bin files are taking up space that windows could be using for memory. Every bit of memory you can get adds to your horsepower. So for God's sake, please keep your recycle bin tidy. Get rid of things that you are sure you won't need again. When you go to delete something, and you are absolutely sure you won't need it again, you can hold down the shift key and press the delete key to permanently delete it without sending it to the recycle bin. And now, last but not least, step 7.

Step 7: Adware and Spyware

I like to call these small time viruses. The industry calls them parasites. Norton calls them extended threats. Do you get my drift? What is adware and spyware you may ask? They are actually quite similar. I'll start first by explaining the ways that you can get them on your computer. Let's say you download a 'free' program to run on your computer that you think is pretty neat. If you are like most of us, you don't take the time to read the license agreement. If you did, you would find a line similar to: by installing this product you agree to install xyz product which will be used to send marketing information to the makers of the software. Do you see how they get you? One of the other ways you can get it is by going to some random website. It doesn't matter what it is, but they have this script that runs as the page is loading and it installs the adware and/or spyware on your computer. The last way that I will discuss here is through a virus. There are viruses out there whose sole job is to download adware, spyware, keyloggers, and other malicious software on to your computer. These things really slow your computer down. Here's how they work.

Adware and spyware install on your computer and watch what you do, where you surf, you know what you are interested in. They then open a connection to a server and report your activities. They are very good at what they do! Where adware and spyware differ is spyware does nothing but report your activities. Adware on the other hand reports your activities and the server it reports to in turn sends it an ad to display on your computer. Now, just like there are antivirus programs out there, there are now very good antispyware and antiadware programs on the market. Noadware, Spybot, and Adaware are a few of the good ones.

In conclusion there are 7 major ways to speed up your computer with simple maintenance and preventative measures. Run scandisk, defrag, get rid of excess background programs, delete temporary files, get some antivirus software, and also get a good adware and spyware remover utility. I hope you have found this information useful. I hope that I have helped someone here with this information and I pray that you will check out some other very useful information at

I love you all. God bless you!

P. S. For you Windows 2000 users, I made a promise to you back in step 3. Here's where I deliver! If you can get access to a Windows 98, ME, or XP machine. You can copy msconfig.exe to a disk and use it on your computer to get rid of background programs using the directions in step 3. Just search the c: drive for msconfig.exe and copy it to floppy. Bring it to your computer and run it. God Bless!

[netmaddy-blog]

Computer Performance - 7 Ways to Speed Up Windows Computers

New Post has been published on https://netmaddy.com/computer-performance-7-ways-to-speed-up-windows-computers-2/

Computer Performance - 7 Ways to Speed Up Windows Computers

Are you sick and tired of it taking forever to open a website, file or program? Did your computer seem to run a lot faster when you first got it? If your answers to these 2 questions were yes, then please read on. In this article, I am going to give you tips to speed up your computer. They can all be done today, even if you are new to computers. The 7 steps that I am going to share with you are so easy, believe me, you can do it! These are techniques that computer technicians in several different support organizations do and some charge a lot of money for their walking you through these processes. You are going to get them today at no charge. Are you ready? Then let’s begin!

Step 1: Scandisk

You should run Scandisk at least once a month. This will make sure that your computer can read all of the information on your disk. How will this speed up my computer? I’m glad you asked! You see your computer has in its hard to drive what the technicians call redundancy. What I mean is if your computer is trying to read a file and the data isn’t read correctly from the disk, the computer tries to read that information, again and again, a set number of times. This results in slower loading times. When Scandisk is run regularly this keeps your disk free of these storage errors and thus enables the computer to get the information it needs from the disk as fast as possible. Scandisk should be run before the next step each and every time.

I know you’re asking, how do I run scan disk. It’s simple. Find that icon on your desktop or in your start menu labeled ‘My Computer’. In there you will see a listing of all the drives on your computer. Right-click on the drive you want to scan and go to properties. There, you will have a tools tab. Click on it. You will see a button that says check for errors. This is Scandisk or also called check disk on different versions of windows. There are 2 different modes, Standard or Thorough. Standard checks and makes sure that all the bits and pieces of your files are in the spot on the disk where it thinks they should be. In other words, it checks for filing errors. Thorough does a standard check as well as it tests each spot on the disk where the drive can write something and makes sure that what it writes, it reads back the same thing. If it doesn’t read the same information back, it marks that spot as bad so that it is not used. This keeps down that redundancy thing we spoke of earlier. Wasn’t that easy? Now, on to Step 2.

Step 2: Defrag

Defrag should be run once a week if you use your computer more than 14 hours a week. This equates to about 2 hours a day. Most people who actively use their computer will fall into this category. Defrag, whose real name is disk defragmenter, is your best friend for speed. You see when your computer writes something to the disk; it starts the disk to turning and drops bits of the data you want to write wherever there is a hole. It then tells the filing system where it placed that piece. So your file could be literally broken into 20 pieces! Your disk takes longer to load the file because it has to jump around to different spots to gather the pieces together when it needs it. Defrag takes care of this by gathering the pieces all together and writing them back to the disk in one piece. This way when you need the information, it’s all right there. To run defrag it’s the same as where we went for scan disk. You go to ‘My Computer’ and you right-click on the drive you want to run defrag on and go to properties. There go to the tools tab. Click the Defragment button. Wow, this is getting easier by the minute! On to step 3.

Step 3: Background Programs

Background programs really slow down your computer’s performance. They accomplish this by using up your computer’s resources. Resources are the combined power of your processor (brain), memory, and disk space. These 3 are the equivalent of horsepower. This is where you will gain a lot of your speed back as well. If you look at an area of your screen right now, I can show you a fraction of some of these that you never thought of. The area I want you to look at is called your system tray. It is located next to your clock, which is opposite your start menu. If your start menu is on the left side, then the clock is on the right. Next, to the clock, you will see these little icons or pictures. These are programs that run on your computer whenever it boots. Guess what, these are background programs. They are there to help load things you need faster. If you are following this guide you really don’t need most of them. Do you?

Here are how you get rid of them and most of the others that you can’t even see as well. Sorry folks who are on Windows 2000, this step won’t work for you. If you read to the end I will give you a bonus that will make up for it, I promise. Ok, for the rest of you, click on start. Click on run. Type MSConfig. Click ok. You should get a system configuration utility. Be very careful here and follow my instructions exactly. Click on the startup tab at the top. You will have a list of all the programs that run when your computer boots or starts. If you look down the list there will be some names that are familiar to you. When you see those names I want you to think: “Do I really need this program running all the time?” If the answer is no, uncheck the box. For example, some of you may have heard of RealPlayer. There’s a smart start icon associated with it. You really don’t need real player running when you are only going to be playing FreeCell now do you? 🙂 On to step 4.

Step 4: Temporary Files

Temporary files hold up space on your disk. These files are most of the time useless. Temporary files are just that; files that were temporarily created by a program or installer. They are supposed to be deleted when not needed any longer, but a lot of programs do a poor job of cleaning them up. Helping them out will get you more speed for your horsepower. For example: let’s take temporary internet files. When you go to a website every element of that website’s decorations are stored in a temp file on your computer. Your computer does this to help supposedly. It’s supposed to help by when you visit the same site again; the elements of the website will already be on your computer and therefore don’t have to be downloaded again. This, in theory, should speed up your surfing right? Wrong! Here’s what really goes down. For every element of the website, your computer reads every temp file to see if it matches. Every single file in your temporary internet files folder! To get a grasp of this here’s what I want you to do. Open internet explorer. Go to the tools menu and click on internet options. Click the settings button. Then click the view files button. Do you see what I mean? Every file! Now…Close the temporary internet files window. Click OK on the settings window. Do you see that button next to settings on the internet options window? It’s labeled delete files. Click it. Check delete all offline content. Click ok. When the hourglass is gone, you are all clean! This should be done once a month. This will keep your whole computer running smoothly. The secret lies in Internet Explorer. It’s integrated so much into windows when it has a problem, windows have a problem. What I am saying is when you opened my computer in steps 1 and 2. You were using internet explorer. Ok. Nuff said. On to step 5!

Step 5: Antivirus

Good Antivirus software is an absolute must! There are several choices to choose from. Some cost money and some don’t. Viruses hide on your computer and wreak havoc. If you don’t have antivirus software on your computer, you will never know they are there. They sit and hide out until their appointed time and then interfere with your computer. Viruses are programs written by people with too much time on their hands and not enough morals. They sit and think of ways to make your day bad. Some viruses will sit on your computer and do nothing but open up connections to other servers all over the internet. What does that do? It slows your computer down drastically! Nuff said. Your choices are to get paid antivirus software like Norton, Mcafee, or Computer Associates. If you don’t have the cash to spare then you can go to your favorite search engines like Yahoo or Google and enter in ‘free antivirus download’ and get a list of all kinds of scanners. Some are far better than none. Some of the best free software that I have found are AVG, Avast!, and ClamWin. If you have a fear of installing software, never fear. There are also free online virus scanners. Again, you go to your favorite search engine and type in ‘free online virus scan’ and you will get plenty of results. Beware, though, with these scanners you run the risk of getting infected still. The reason is you have to go to the site and scan the computer yourself, preferably once a week. In that time a virus could have already infected your machine. Antivirus software that you install on the computer checks every file, every time it’s used thus drastically decreasing the chances of infection. It’s like a flu shot. Some of the good online virus scanners are Norton, Panda, and BitDefender. Now, on to step 6.

Step 6: Recycle Bin

It is very important to keep your recycle bin empty. What I mean is this, you don’t want to have hundreds of files sitting in your recycle bin that you deleted 6 months ago. They are taking up valuable space. Windows uses your drive as the memory to run programs. When you run out of physical memory, it uses what’s called a page or swap file and stores it there. These recycle bin files are taking up space that windows could be using for memory. Every bit of memory you can get adds to your horsepower. So for God’s sake, please keep your recycle bin tidy. Get rid of things that you are sure you won’t need again. When you go to delete something, and you are absolutely sure you won’t need it again, you can hold down the shift key and press the delete key to permanently delete it without sending it to the recycle bin. And now, last but not least, step 7.

Step 7: Adware and Spyware

I like to call these small time viruses. The industry calls them parasites. Norton calls them extended threats. Do you get my drift? What is adware and spyware you may ask? They are actually quite similar. I’ll start first by explaining the ways that you can get them on your computer. Let’s say you download a ‘free’ program to run on your computer that you think is pretty neat. If you are like most of us, you don’t take the time to read the license agreement. If you did, you would find a line similar to: by installing this product you agree to install XYZ product which will be used to send marketing information to the makers of the software. Do you see how they get you? One of the other ways you can get it is by going to some random website. It doesn’t matter what it is, but they have this script that runs as the page is loading and it installs the adware and/or spyware on your computer. The last way that I will discuss here is a virus. There are viruses out there whose sole job is to download adware, spyware, keyloggers, and other malicious software onto your computer. These things really slow your computer down. Here’s how they work.

Adware and spyware install on your computer and watch what you do, where you surf, you know what you are interested in. They then open a connection to a server and report your activities. They are very good at what they do! Where adware and spyware differ is spyware does nothing but report your activities. Adware, on the other hand, reports your activities and the server it reports to in turn sends it an ad to display on your computer. Now, just like there are antivirus programs out there, there are now very good anti spyware and anti adware programs on the market. Noadware, Spybot, and Adaware are a few of the good ones.

In conclusion, there are 7 major ways to speed up your computer with simple maintenance and preventative measures. Run scan disk, defrag, get rid of excess background programs, delete temporary files, get some antivirus software, and also get a good adware and spyware remover utility. I hope you have found this information useful. I hope that I have helped someone here with this information and I pray that you will check out some other very useful information at

P. S. For you Windows 2000 users, I made a promise to you back in step 3. Here’s where I deliver! If you can get access to a Windows 98, ME, or XP machine. You can copy msconfig.exe to a disk and use it on your computer to get rid of background programs using the directions in step 3. Just search the c: drive for msconfig.exe and copy it to floppy. Bring it to your computer and run it. God Bless!

I have been in computer support for 10 years. I was born and raised in Dallas. I am a Sunday School teacher at my church Independent Missionary Baptist Church located at 1108 West Milam St. Ennis, TX 75119 where Rev. Louis Massey is Pastor. I invite you all to come and visit us sometime.

[netmaddy-blog]

Computer Performance - 7 Ways to Speed Up Windows Computers

New Post has been published on https://netmaddy.com/computer-performance-7-ways-to-speed-up-windows-computers/

Computer Performance - 7 Ways to Speed Up Windows Computers

Are you sick and tired of it taking forever to open a website, file or program? Did your computer seem to run a lot faster when you first got it? If your answers to these 2 questions were yes, then please read on. In this article I am going to give you tips to speed up your computer. They can all be done today, even if you are new to computers. The 7 steps that I am going to share with you are so easy, believe me you can do it! These are techniques that computer technicians in several different support organizations do and some charge a lot of money for their walking you through these processes. You are going to get them today at no charge. Are you ready? Then let’s begin!

Step 1: Scandisk

You should run scandisk at least once a month. This will make sure that your computer can read all of the information on your disk. How will this speed up my computer? I’m glad you asked! You see your computer has in it’s hard drive what the technicians call redundancy. What I mean is if your computer is trying to read a file and the data isn’t read correctly from the disk, the computer tries to read that information again and again a set number of times. This results in slower loading times. When scandisk is ran regularly this keeps your disk free of these storage errors and thus enables the computer to get the information it needs from the disk as fast as possible. Scandisk should be run before the next step each and every time.

I know you’re asking, how do I run scandisk. It’s simple. Find that icon on your desktop or in your start menu labeled ‘My Computer’. In there you will see a listing of all the drives in your computer. Right click on the drive you want to scan and go to properties. There, you will have a tools tab. Click on it. You will see a button that says check for errors. This is scandisk or also called checkdisk on different versions of windows. There are 2 different modes, Standard or Thorough. Standard checks and makes sure that all the bits and pieces of your files are in the spot on the disk where it thinks they should be. In other words, it checks for filing errors. Thorough does a standard check as well as it tests each spot on the disk where the drive can write something and makes sure that what it writes, it reads back the same thing. If it doesn’t read the same information back, it marks that spot as bad so that it is not used. This keeps down that redundancy thing we spoke of earlier. Wasn’t that easy? Now, on to Step 2.

Step 2: Defrag

Defrag should be run once a week if you use your computer more than 14 hours a week. This equates to about 2 hours a day. Most people who actively use their computer will fall into this category. Defrag, whose real name is disk defragmenter, is your best friend for speed. You see when your computer writes something to the disk; it starts the disk to turning and drops bits of the data you want to write wherever there is a hole. It then tells the filing system where it placed that piece. So your file could be literally broken into 20 pieces! Your disk takes longer to load the file because it has to jump around to different spots to gather the pieces together when it needs it. Defrag takes care of this by gathering the pieces all together and writing them back to the disk in one piece. This way when you need the information, it’s all right there. To run defrag it’s the same as where we went for scandisk. You go to ‘My Computer’ and you right click on the drive you want to run defrag on and go to properties. There go to the tools tab. Click the Defragment button. Wow this is getting easier by the minute! On to step 3.

Step 3: Background Programs

Background programs really slow down your computer’s performance. They accomplish this by using up your computer’s resources. Resources are the combined power of your processor (brain), memory, and disk space. These 3 are the equivalent to horsepower. This is where you will gain a lot of your speed back as well. If you look at an area of your screen right now, I can show you a fraction of some of these that you never thought of. The area I want you to look at is called your system tray. It is located next to your clock, which is opposite your start menu. If your start menu is on the left side, then the clock is on the right. Next to the clock you will see these little icons or pictures. These are programs that run on your computer whenever it boots. Guess what, these are background programs. They are there to help load things you need faster. If you are following this guide you really don’t need most of them. Do you?

Here’s how you get rid of them and most of the others that you can’t even see as well. Sorry folks who are on Windows 2000, this step won’t work for you. If you read to the end I will give you a bonus that will make up for it, I promise. Ok, for the rest of you, click on start. Click on run. Type msconfig. Click ok. You should get a system configuration utility. Be very careful here and follow my instructions exactly. Click on the startup tab at the top. You will have a list of all the programs that run when your computer boots or starts. If you look down the list there will be some names that are familiar to you. When you see those names I want you to think: “Do I really need this program running all the time?” If the answer is no, uncheck the box. For example, some of you may have heard of RealPlayer. There’s a smart start icon associated with it. You really don’t need real player running when you are only going to be playing FreeCell now do you? 🙂 On to step 4.

Step 4: Temporary Files

Temporary files hold up space on your disk. These files are most of the time useless. Temporary files are just that; files that were temporarily created by a program or installer. They are supposed to be deleted when not needed any longer, but a lot of programs do a poor job of cleaning them up. Helping them out will get you more speed for your horsepower. For example: let’s take temporary internet files. When you go to a website every element of that website’s decorations are stored in a temp file on your computer. Your computer does this to help supposedly. It’s supposed to help by when you visit the same site again; the elements of the website will already be on your computer and therefore don’t have to be downloaded again. This in theory should speed up your surfing right? Wrong! Here’s what really goes down. For every element of the website, your computer reads every temp file to see if it matches. Every single file in your temporary internet files folder! To get a grasp of this here’s what I want you to do. Open internet explorer. Go to the tools menu and click on internet options. Click the settings button. Then click the view files button. Do you see what I mean? Every file! Now…Close the temporary internet files window. Click OK on the settings window. Do you see that button next to settings on the internet options window? It’s labeled delete files. Click it. Check delete all offline content. Click ok. When the hourglass is gone, you are all clean! This should be done once a month. This will keep your whole computer running smoothly. The secret lies in Internet Explorer. It’s integrated so much into windows, when it has a problem, windows has a problem. What I am saying is when you opened my computer in steps 1 and 2. You were using internet explorer. Ok. Nuff said. On to step 5!

Step 5: Antivirus

Good Antivirus software is an absolute must! There are several choices to choose from. Some cost money and some don’t. Viruses hide on your computer and wreak havoc. If you don’t have antivirus software on your computer, you will never know they are there. They sit and hide out until their appointed time and then interfere with your computer. Viruses are programs written by people with too much time on their hands and not enough morals. They sit and think of ways to make your day bad. Some viruses will sit on your computer and do nothing but open up connections to other servers all over the internet. What does that do? It slows your computer down drastically! Nuff said. Your choices are to get paid antivirus software like Norton, Mcafee, or Computer Associates. If you don’t have the cash to spare then you can go to your favorite search engine like Yahoo or Google and enter in ‘free antivirus download’ and get a list of all kinds of scanners. Some is far better than none. Some of the best free software that I have found are AVG, Avast!, and ClamWin. If you have a fear of installing software, never fear. There are also free online virus scanners. Again, you go to your favorite search engine and type in ‘free online virus scan’ and you will get plenty of results. Beware though, with these scanners you run the risk of getting infected still. The reason is you have to go to the site and scan the computer yourself, preferably once a week. In that time a virus could have already infected your machine. Antivirus software that you install on the computer checks every file, every time it’s used thus drastically decreasing the chances of infection. It’s like a flu shot. Some of the good online virus scanners are Norton, Panda, and BitDefender. Now, on to step 6.

Step 6: Recycle Bin

It is very important to keep your recycle bin empty. What I mean is this, you don’t want to have hundreds of files sitting in your recycle bin that you deleted 6 months ago. They are taking up valuable space. Windows uses your drive as memory to run programs. When you run out of physical memory, it uses what’s called a page or swap file and stores it there. These recycle bin files are taking up space that windows could be using for memory. Every bit of memory you can get adds to your horsepower. So for God’s sake, please keep your recycle bin tidy. Get rid of things that you are sure you won’t need again. When you go to delete something, and you are absolutely sure you won’t need it again, you can hold down the shift key and press the delete key to permanently delete it without sending it to the recycle bin. And now, last but not least, step 7.

Step 7: Adware and Spyware

I like to call these small time viruses. The industry calls them parasites. Norton calls them extended threats. Do you get my drift? What is adware and spyware you may ask? They are actually quite similar. I’ll start first by explaining the ways that you can get them on your computer. Let’s say you download a ‘free’ program to run on your computer that you think is pretty neat. If you are like most of us, you don’t take the time to read the license agreement. If you did, you would find a line similar to: by installing this product you agree to install xyz product which will be used to send marketing information to the makers of the software. Do you see how they get you? One of the other ways you can get it is by going to some random website. It doesn’t matter what it is, but they have this script that runs as the page is loading and it installs the adware and/or spyware on your computer. The last way that I will discuss here is through a virus. There are viruses out there whose sole job is to download adware, spyware, keyloggers, and other malicious software on to your computer. These things really slow your computer down. Here’s how they work.

Adware and spyware install on your computer and watch what you do, where you surf, you know what you are interested in. They then open a connection to a server and report your activities. They are very good at what they do! Where adware and spyware differ is spyware does nothing but report your activities. Adware on the other hand reports your activities and the server it reports to in turn sends it an ad to display on your computer. Now, just like there are antivirus programs out there, there are now very good antispyware and antiadware programs on the market. Noadware, Spybot, and Adaware are a few of the good ones.

In conclusion there are 7 major ways to speed up your computer with simple maintenance and preventative measures. Run scandisk, defrag, get rid of excess background programs, delete temporary files, get some antivirus software, and also get a good adware and spyware remover utility. I hope you have found this information useful. I hope that I have helped someone here with this information and I pray that you will check out some other very useful information at

I love you all. God bless you!

P. S. For you Windows 2000 users, I made a promise to you back in step 3. Here’s where I deliver! If you can get access to a Windows 98,ME, or XP machine. You can copy msconfig.exe to a disk and use it on your computer to get rid of background programs using the directions in step 3. Just search the c: drive for msconfig.exe and copy it to floppy. Bring it to your computer and run it. God Bless!