#I normally headcanon his full name as ''Slytunkhamen''

[extraneousdominomask]

apropos of nothing Good👏Place👏AU👏

Sly Cooper is dead.

But that’s okay! As the well-kept vixen behind the desk explains, there are two halves to the afterlife; a good place, and a... bad place. Because of his tangibly positive impact on the world, he’s earned the rare privilege of entering The Good Place.

“No duh,” thinks Sly, the lifelong criminal. He ripped off other, worse criminals - because it sounded fun, sure, but obviously that was good for the world too, right? But after briefly getting distracted by just how pretty she looks in her sharp suit, he zones back in and realizes she’s... not describing his life. At all. Whoever these nerds are, they don’t think it’s ever right to break the law? 

She’s describing some completely unrelated dweeb who was also named “Sylvester Cooper”. An accountant for a major charity. There’s been a mistake. And if Sly points it out, he’s going to be booted to The Bad Place.

Now more than a little distracted by the huge lie he is saddled with, Sly is given a tour by Carmelita, who introduces him to his new neighbours; the genius Bentley, the glamourous Neyla, and a wise hippo monk who has taken a vow of silence and is definitely not a well-meaning chatty moron trapped in a similar situation to Sly, in case you were wondering. They also have the full disposal of “Penelope”, who despite appearing to be a mouse girl is neither a mouse nor a girl, but an extremely sophisticated AI who quite literally knows everything

From there the plot of The Good Place plays out, but instead of utilitarian ethics and how it’s impossible to have a “good impact on the world” while living in the broken system that is late capitalism, the philosophical core would be refuting the folly of strict deontological ethics. Crime is cool and Immanuel Kant can bite me