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choupichoups · 5 years

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Collect the stars each time I think of you [ 1 // 2 ]

Eliott 23:27 How far away are you?

Lucas 23:27 Like 2 mins

Eliott 23:28 Okay Door’s unlocked!! Just head straight in

Lucas jogs up the stairs, steps rapid as a wind up toy, giddy at the prospect of seeing his boyfriend after a long day apart.

Or, well, technically, it’s only been half a day since they’d gone out for breakfast together but who’s counting anyway? He’s long accepted the fact that he misses Eliott for every minute they spend separately, seconds dragging slower than sand in an hourglass. Yes, he’s that kind of whipped bastard in love, so sue him.

He trips over an uprooted part of the carpet on the top stair and only just manages to catch himself on the dirty flooring. Slowly, he regains his breathing and brushes a hand through his hair so as to not be too obvious about rushing up the door— Eliott would probably tease him about it right up til midnight.

Speaking of which.

Lucas settles his hands over the doorknob, pressing his ear against the door to check if he can make out any sounds coming from the other side. It’s his birthday tomorrow and he’s not stupid. He’s dating Eliott ‘Romance the shit out of you’ Demaury, he knows his boyfriend’s got plans, okay. Not like he’d be disappointed if there aren’t any surprises in store for him, he’d honestly be content with just a kiss (or two), but his chest still flutters in anticipation as he turns the knob.

Eliott’s invited him over for an impromptu ‘movie night’ and has been oddly quiet on the topic of Lucas’ birthday. Something’s up. He can feel it in his jellies.

Pulling his bottom lip under his teeth, Lucas nudges the door open and promptly freezes, greeting at the tip of his tongue gone unspoken as his eyes try their best to adjust in the dark. He vaguely hears the door swing shut behind him when his hands go slack by his sides, helplessly struck by the glowing speckles of light scattered all over the walls and ceiling. He squints at them, shaking his head as his eyes grow slightly tired from staring into the white light too much. It looks impeccably like Eliott had somehow managed to bring all the stars in the sky and trap them all in this very room. A sight only for them to selfishly enjoy.

He huffs out an incredulous laugh. “Eliott?”

There’s a shuffling from somewhere low on his right and Lucas glances down, belatedly registering the tangled loops of fairy lights by his feet. They lead a path straight to the living room where Eliott sits on the floor, bathed in soft pinks and oranges and greys. Under the crafted stars and stringed fireflies, Eliott looks ethereal.

“Hey,” Eliott says softly, voice matching the lovely atmosphere he’s created. “Welcome to movie night.”

Lucas has to laugh again, this time a little louder but no less stunned. “I don’t recall movie night ever being this, um, beautiful.”

Even in the dark, he can point out the exact moment Eliott perks up. “You think it’s beautiful?”

“Of course,” Lucas responds, quiet, almost whispered, as he takes in the furniture pushed far along the wall, almost invisible if you weren’t looking, and in the large vacant space in the middle of the living room stands the coziest looking blanket fort Lucas’ eyes have ever been subjected to. “Wow.”

It’s Eliott’s turn to laugh. “You coming?” he asks, like Lucas has ever learned to refuse that question.

The fairy lights gather thick around the wide perimeter of the fort Eliott’s built and then pour out artfully along the sides and the top. Lucas toes his shoes off and ducks into the mass of sheets and pillows, immediately sinking into the comfort of them as he settles down. The interior of the fort is lit up by small glowing jars of what looks like more tiny stars trapped inside and Jesus, how exactly did Eliott manage to— “How in the fuck did you do all of this? How did you even make these?”

He takes one of the jars, stares skeptically at the lights floating inside, and shakes it vigorously.

Eliott snatches it away. “A magician never reveals his secrets.”

“Okay, Mr. Etsy Demaury, sorcerer of DIY himself.” Lucas relents, scooting over to examine the jars some more but resisting the urge to play with them this time around. “Do we have snacks?”

“In the kitchen.”

“Okay… why?”

“What do you mean, ‘why’?”

“Eliott, you honestly expect me to get up and get them myself?”

“Why not?”

“Look at me.” Lucas turns over, forcing himself to sit up so he can look Eliott square in the eye. “Look at me and tell me that this is the face of someone who will willingly leave this pillow heaven for some gummy worms.”

Eliott, asshole that he is, actually looks like he’s considering Lucas seriously. “I don’t know, Lucas, they’re the sour neon ones you love so much.”

Okay, that’s a dirty trick. Lucas takes back all the nice, sappy thoughts he’d had pertaining to Eliott up to this point. “Ugh, fuck, what’s your use?”

“Hey!”

“No snacks for either of us if you’re not getting up.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, anyway, what are we watching?”

“Pride and Prejudice.”

Lucas pretends to moan and groan about it as Eliott sets up the projector (because of course he’s using a projector), nitpicking until it’s angled straight onto the dark starlit wall. When Eliott actually crawls over to lay down beside him, though, Lucas forgets what he’s been complaining about, choosing instead to curl up close by Eliott’s side.

As the opening scene flashes on the screen, Lucas lets himself look away, cheek pressed soft against Eliott’s shoulder first, and then snuggling closer until he falls comfortably aligned onto Eliott’s chest. He feels the arm around him tighten, rubbing along his back in warm, gentle circles that lull him half into sleep. But he stubbornly stays awake, wanting to indulge in every second of this moment, not quite ready to face the thought of closing his eyes and opening them to the break of sunlight, their stars awashed along with the night.

He’s conveniently angled to look up at Eliott without much effort, so he does it as much as he wants, glimpsing random bits of movie plot before his eyes inevitably slide back to his boyfriend’s slightly furrowed brows, down to the perfect slope of his nose, and lower to where his lips are pursed. It’s endearing how concentrated Eliott is considering he’s seen the same film more than once.

“You’re missing the entire thing,” Eliott says eventually and Lucas smothers a giggle into his shirt.

“I’d rather not miss what I’m seeing,” Lucas says, unfiltered in his sleepy daze. He realizes how cheesy that must sound but it doesn’t matter, he’s struck slightly dumb— only one coherent thought keeps running through his mind, a solemn echo of the same words he’d already spoken once, seemingly a lifetime ago. No one’s ever done this for me before.

He’s quickly realizing that Eliott will be his first for many things.

Eliott peels his eyes from the movie, snorting out a chuckle. “Stop being cute,” he says, running a hand through Lucas’ hair, fingers gentle as he pets along the front before gliding back down to tap at Lucas’ nose. Lucas vaguely registers that as something one would do to appease a little puppy and he doesn’t even care. “I’m trying to watch the movie.”

“You’ve seen this a thousand times.”

“And you see me everyday.”

“So?”

The next time Eliott looks at him, his eyes are immeasurably fond. “Happy birthday, baby.” And oh, it must’ve hit midnight while Lucas was busy admiring him. He should be excited, what with it officially being his special day, but a distant voice inside his head helpfully reminds him that there are only about four more hours left before the sun comes out to play. Before the spell they’ve put themselves under breaks. “I love you,” Eliott sighs, effectively knocking Lucas back into the present.

Four hours carry a load of minutes.

When put that way, it feels like they’ve got all the time in the world.

There’s a smile fighting through his fatigue and Lucas has no problem letting it win. “Thank you.” He places a kiss on Eliott’s chest over his shirt, closing his eyes to bask in the rest of their night. “I love you.”

It seems like that isn’t enough for Eliott though, and Lucas is pulled up, one hand around his arm and one firm around his waist. He accidentally breathes a huff of laughter into the kiss, not expecting to be dragged along like that. But he’s not going to complain, not even when he loses the perfect spot he’d been nestled into just seconds prior.

“I love you so much,” Eliott repeats, voice full of emotion. Lucas’ heart flutters like it’s the first time all over.

“Me too,” he says, their lips close, brushing at every word. “Me too,” he says, again, because once doesn’t feel adequate enough.

They sink back into the cushions, limbs tangled and skin flush against the other as Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth fall into the background. The lights gleam a spectrum of colours around them, and Lucas watches pale shadows form over the smooth of Eliott’s skin. His fingers spider along broad shoulders, smiling as goosebumps rise in the wake of his touch. It’s bound to get really fucking hot any minute now, what with Eliott hovering over him like this, Lucas’ entire form covered under his, but Lucas wouldn’t mind the heat— not as long as Eliott’s unruly nest of hair keeps ticking at his chin like that, not when lightly stubbled cheeks keeps brushing along his skin like that, not when warm lips trail soft little kisses down his neck like that.

And suddenly he’s not so afraid of the night ending anymore, not when Eliott’s presence is a static promise come the next day. He knows, without a seed of doubt in his mind, that he’s about to experience the absolute best birthday he’s ever had in his short life.

It’s already starting off that way.

#skam france #elu fic #fictag #can we all collectively pretend #that im not atrociously late with this #I also didn't realize his bday is literally 711 #until that second gif #*grabs microphone* I am so sorry #there's a part 2 coming sometime between now and his next bday #happy birthday to one (1) hedgehog

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honestsycrets · 5 years

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NSFW Alphabet || Aslaug

❛ sy’s notes | as requested by @salimahbicharara-comun a while ago. I’m sorry it took so long love. All these gifs below are not mine but go to their proper owners. I tagged my all list. Please disregard if you aren’t interested in F x F, because this is what it is.

A = Aftercare

Aslaug drops beside you, a small modest smile on her lips. She waits for you to join her and cuddle close.

Aslaug is demure. For her, sex is simple. It’s what comes after that which makes her shy. She’ll tug her fur over her chest and smile at you, gentle and sweet until she feels a need for more.

B = Body part

“You should grow it some more.” Aslaug runs her fingers through your hair, curling it about her finger. It tightens, and she brings you in for a kiss.

It might surprise you to know that she loves a woman’s hair. She enjoys trickling her fingers through the strands, following the natural wave to the tips. During sex, she might tug at your hair to get what she wants done without saying a word.

C = Cum

The first time you were with her, you might have squeaked in your surprise when she squirted upon you. It’s not exactly something she’s super excited about-- but if you’re excited, it makes her feel as if she’d done a good job, rolling her hips down your fingers as you eat her out.

D = Dirty Secret

“You have pictures of me stored?” You giggle, flicking through the folder in question. Aslaug slides beside you. Her fingers slide your hair off your shoulder and leave one chaste kiss there. “Of course. How else do I cope when you’re gone, my love?”

Modern!Aslaug loves seeing her woman in lingerie. She enjoys actually seeing you in tiny bikinis, baby dolls, delicate heels, jewels, and strappy clothes. If you were to dip into her purse and check her phone, you might find a folder of kinky clothes in a personal folder.

E = Experience

Aslaug knows what she’s doing. Although she might seem quiet, perhaps even secretive, she’s been with enough people to know how to elicit pleasure out of you. Don’t underestimate her.

F = Favourite Position

It’s always going to be a good day when Aslaug is feeling... curious. You know because of the way she climbs over you, waking you up from your slumber. “My Queen--”

Shh, Aslaug smiles. Let me.

Aslaug loves to warm up by climbing over you, grinding her cunt up against yours and watching as you progressively get wetter and wetter for her. Although usually she might be submissive, she can’t help herself from being a little dominant too.

G = Goofy

“And did Ivar chase you away?” she laughs as you lift your dress off your curves, pressing your breasts together with your arms shifting.

“Like Skol or Hati after the sun and moon!”

She tends to be more serious-- though she won’t hesitate to laugh and have fun, perhaps change the subject time to time, when fucking. Sometimes if she’s embarrassed, she’ll try to be a bit humorous to cover it up.

H = Hair

Being the queen she is, Aslaug is a woman who is trimmed and well-kept at all times. For her partner to come home, even from raid, she wants everything to be perfect. After all, she is a sexual creature. She needs the sex.

I = Intimacy

Sex for Aslaug isn’t often romantically charged. With Ragnar and Harbard, she finds romantic sex a little squeamish. After some time of proving that its only her on your mind, though, you end up spooning in bed.

J = Jack Off

You’re gone for raid again. Aslaug hasn’t been alone in a while. She doesn’t feel the need to jack off when you’re home, catering to every need. But when you aren’t, she drags her fingers across her mound, massaging herself to excitement. There’s no need for a vat of oil when she can think of you, straddling her and shoving fingers inside of her holes.

K = Kink

“My Q--Queen!” you knead the furs under your hands, gripping the king’s bed. Aslaug found you cleaning her rooms that day and a thought surfaced in her head. She bent you over the bed and took you then and there. Loud slaps of her hips fill the Great Hall.

On occasion, Aslaug likes to feel powerful. One surefire way of doing that is sliding the wooden phallus within your cunt and watching you writhe underneath her deep thrusts.

L = Location

Although she often has sex indoors, she loves sex outdoors. It brings her closer to the elements-- to the gods whom she worships. Aslaug loves to have sex while bathing and seeing your reaction when her fingers slip into your hole.

M = Motivation

The men of the evening had been watching you pour ale. A thrall-- you’re used to their affections. But not to the affections of Ubbe and Hvitserk, who tug your skirt back with their cat calls.

“Come with me,” Aslaug slides her hand sweetly over the curve of your ass-- marking you out to her sons.

When Aslaug has someone she wants, she is flashy with her affections. She might run her hand down your hips if she sees a man or woman looking at you, drag you back and take you so loudly that the interlopers will hear. It excites her to know that someone else wants something that is so marked out as hers. When you get her into bed, you realize just that.

N = NO

A doer, not much of a watcher. Aslaug does not like the thought of having to watch someone else have sex with her beloved. If she is going to fuck, she wants to have her attention squarely on her.

O = Oral

“You’re doing so good, my love.” She guides you with your hair, shifting you down to her well-loved entrance. You push your tongue into her entrance. “A little more.”

As with many things, Aslaug loves to be given oral. It isn’t to say that she won’t give, but, well-- she is a queen after all. Your mouth just looks so pretty when its doing what its meant to do, please her.

P = Pace

Aslaug can go either way. She’s a sensual woman in everything she does. She can take you slow, drag out your orgasms through the night. Or, she might take you quick. Either way, your pleasure is dragged out for hours.

Q = Quickie

Aslaug is greedy. She’s greedy with her women, her men-- and her attention. Quickies aren’t her thing because often, she believes her time is her time. You should be there to please your queen.

R = Risk

“You want to be tied up?” Aslaug holds the ropes in her hands. She’s heard of this before. Women and men who like to be tied up and taken advantage of. Though she never imagined you would like to be used like a thrall. You nod, eagerly.

She’s in the business of making her partner feel good. Aslaug might flutter her eyelashes at you, recall how you asked to take her in the ass and seriously ask you what sort of risk it is this time.

S = Stamina

“Can we please--” you sob, your cunt squelching around her fingertips. “--I need a break!”

“Soon, love, soon.” You know its a lie.

Aslaug can most likely hold out for quite while. She’s not easily impressed-- and so it takes work to get her to cum. But, if you can do it, she’ll gush for you. When she is pleasuring you though, its a quite other ordeal. She’ll force you to hold out for her.

T = Toy

Of course she owns toys! A woman like her needs pleasure when her partner is gone or otherwise sexually unavailable. She’s interested on using them on you too-- just to make you beg for a release.

U = Unfair

“He is watching,” you note of Ragnar.

“Let him. It will make the sex better.”

Most often, Aslaug teases with her eyes. She follows you, tracing your body out. When you sit by her, her hands might slip beneath your dress and seek out what pleasure she can find in the open.

V = Volume

Her noises are all dependent on you. Do you want her to be louder? Do a better job. Small huffs can easily become dragged out moans, desperate pleads or even the occasional scream for more.

W = Wild Card

“Ivar,” you trudge to a stop.

Ivar glances at you, twisting his head so slightly from his mother’s throne. “You’re here to see mother.”

You rustle with the ties to your dress and let them fall to the floor. Ivar drags his virginal eyes over your curves, rolling his lip into his mouth. You’re not a bad woman after all. He nods, his hand still at his mouth.

Getting to Aslaug means getting around Ivar. Ivar is a picky man for his mother. He expects nothing but the best. He needs to know that you’ll take care of her. Which means one of two things: sneaking around Ivar or facing him head on. He might be able to be impressed. If you know what to do.

X = X-Ray

Aslaug crosses her legs, a small and light smile growing upon her lips. If you want to see what is under her dress, you’ll have to work harder than that. Her fingers hover at her foxish lips.

Y = Yearning

“Do you not love me?” It had only been a good week since you had been with her-- but obviously, you made a mistake.

For her, sex is directly tied for how much you love her. You want to love her? You’ll fuck her. If not, she assumes that you have stopped loving her in some bizarre twist of fate. So love her-- and fuck her.

Z = ZZZ

Aslaug enjoys a good cuddle. She prefers to bring you against her chest, cuddle until you are good and sleepy. That’s sure to keep you in her bed! She’ll sleep when you sleep.

@lisinfleur @romanchronicles @housemorsmordre @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla @bluearchersstuff @captstefanbrandt @igetcarriedawaywithyou, @kylobien, @titty-teetee, @breathlessouls, @nejijjeoroo, @bcat1291, @readsalot73, @mslothbrok, @captstefanbrandt, @ailucascen, @michaeliskindahot, @cbouvier23, @naaladareia, @cbouvier23, @the-geeky-engineer, @lisinfleur, @tephi101, @akamaiden, @ethereallysimple, @venusloviing, @happylittlepuppydog, @beyond-the-ashes, @slutforrpg, @sparklemichele, @alicedopey, @lif3snotouttogetyou, @noregretsandyeteveryregret, @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @deathbyarabbit, @unacceptabletatertots, @beyond-the-ashes (no sig), @babypink224221, @ivarandersen, @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @end-of-night, @gruffle1, @lol-haha-joke @arses21434, @smileyparrots, @miss-artemis-wild, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @wonderwoman292, @wish-i-was-a-mermaid, @killerb00sdeath, @heartbeats-wildly, @boo20017, @acacheofstrange, @shaelyn102, @smokealone, @shaelyn102 @laketaj24, @peaceisadirtyword, @ly--canthrope @cris101071 @daughterofthenight117 @unassumingviking @ladyofsoa, @inforapound @winchesterwife27 @feyrearcheron44 @allvikingsfanfic

#Aslaug #Queen Aslaug #Aslaug x Reader #Aslaug x Female!Reader #vikings imagines #vikings imagine #vikings/reader #Queen Aslaug x Reader #aslaug haters be gone #f x f #female reader #the vikings #all hail queen aslaug

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szopenhauer · 4 years

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Where do you put your keys when you get home? personal

Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? one from far away on the sand when I was on camp and second time it was just dead and not even whole anymore, I wanna touch a snake!

What’s your favourite movie from the 80s? can’t choose only one

Are you expecting any phone calls or emails? not really

Do you have any family that live in another country? no one close

Are there any words that you hate or make you cringe? sure

What is the best house you’ve ever lived in? I’ve lived in one house only unless I can count some I stayed for awhile like grandma’s apartment or aunt’s cottage

What movie reminds you of your childhood? many movies like Jumanji or Goonies

What was the last email you received? spam

Are you in any fb groups? I am

Whose house did you last visit? my gf’s

How many tabs do you have open right now? 5

What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? I procrastinate lots of stuff

What’s the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day? fb messanger/time

Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? I still live with my parents Do you think there is life on other planets? not those close to us

Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? maybe Do you dream of traveling the world or are you happy where you are? I’m not happy but I don’t want to travel Would you watch a porno with your partner? hmm... Have you ever stolen from your work? no Do you own any sex toys? I don’t How often do you use facebook at work? depends Would you date someone half your age? that would be illegal and I wouldn’t want to anyway Are you a romantic person? a little? Would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends? I probably wouldn’t be Do you have a current passport? never had a passport Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? just my date Have you had a relationship with someone of the same sex? as a lesbian Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? no but it’s nice Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? possibly Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid? if you can’t act normal then don’t drink, UGH! Do you litter? never Do you believe in fate or destiny? not sure Doing nothing all day makes you feel…? both good and bad Have you ever had sex with someone you worked with? I have not Would you date someone just for the sex? noooo Do you consider yourself a positive person? pfft Are Sex and Intimacy the same thing? sex is to intimacy like square to rectangles How often do you get angry? I’m like Bruce Banner Have you had cosmetic surgery? I haven’t On a first date do you pay or do they? split Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? I don’t care what they do in life (school, job or nothing) if we don’t live together, I’m unemployed myself Could you date someone who does drugs? doubt it Do you enjoy watching sports? nah Would you do a striptease for your partner? umm... Would you date someone who doesn’t have a car? sure, I don’t even own one You have a week off, travel or stay home? home <3 Does spending the weekend at home annoy you? noooo Do you consider yourself open minded? nah Do others find you sexy? r u kidding?... Have you ever met someone in person you met online? I have Do you tell your friends you love them? nope, just family and partner

Do your siblings dye their hair? sometimes Who can you best relate to in the last book you read? partially to Will, Stella and Poe Are you indecisive? it’s hard for me to make a decision but I am not changing my mind like wind blows

What are you listening to? Lana Del Rey What are you doing tomorrow? we’ll see What was the last compliment someone gave you? not sure which was last Do you have a big family? no but it’s still to big for me :x Which one of your senses would you miss the most if you lost it? sight, then hearing

What’s your opinion on prostitution? Should it be legal and regulated, or is it something that needs to be gotten rid of completely? it should be illegal If you want (or don’t want) kids, is this something you’ve always known or have you changed your mind as you’ve grown up? I wanted kids at first because I played dolls and didn’t know anything about pregnancy or taking care of real children, I just thought it’s normal everyone have them at some point and that’s all but once I found out more about the subject I realized it’s not for me because of many reasons

Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? yup Did the last person you kissed celebrate your last birthday with you? she wasn’t in my life at the time What’s the first word of the last text message you received? ok was the whole message XD

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I’m gonna die, if I won’t fall asleep I’ll explode, I feel so bad Are you okay right now? am I ever?... When was the last time you saw your mom? we’re home together What is the last thing you drank today? just going to drink some water in the kitchen Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? hope not What are you listening to right now? Cigarettes after sex Last time you had a sleepover? ages ago If the last person you dated said they were in love with you, what would you say? I know she does, she was telling me that already Do you replay things that have happened in your head? overthinking for life If you could get paid to do anything in the world, what would you do? sitting in front of the computer Do your parents actually knock on your door before entering your room or just barge right in, instead? my dad knocks, my mom barges in What would you do if it snowed right now? ...

Are you more of a leader or a follower? loner

Would you say you’ve had a good life so far? no comment What’s something you wish you could have delivered to your house? regularly or right now? What’s your favorite art style? surrealism? Are any of your coworkers currently out on maternity/paternity leave? I don’t have coworkers now Do you have a good sense of balance? it’s hard to say Do you live in a very racially and culturally diverse country? no Do you live alone? I wish

Have you done something recently that helped someone else, in any way? nothing big If you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them? depends

Who was the last person to pay you a compliment? my gf The shirt you’re wearinh - is it one of your favourites? yep Is there a certain name that you think seems to have become really popular, and you know lots of people with that same name? growing up Ewelina, Julia, Emilia, Katarzyna, Urszula, Małgorzata and Michał were the most popular names Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site? yup Have you ever asked anyone “Do you love me?” If so, did you get the response you wanted? Do you think when someone says “I love you”, you feel obliged to say it back? yes, usually and kinda If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? that’s normal Are you friends with the last person you hugged, or something more? we’re related Do you ever post song lyrics as your Facebook status? sometimes Do you drink alcohol on a regular basis, or do you prefer to save it for special occasions? I don’t drink even on special occassions Did you play with Barbies when you were a kid, or did you prefer something else? I played with Barbies but not only them If you were going to buy a present for the person you love/like, what would you generally choose? what she likes/wants/needs :) If I’m going to buy you a box of chocolates, which kind should I definitely NOT get? don’t buy me any Is there something you generally always ask for help with? I need help with many things :( Has anyone called you beautiful today? no, I’m not so that would be a lie

Who was the last person to see you cry? my mother

Do you drink bottled water? sometimes

You never know what you have until it’s gone. True or false? kinda true

Are you scared of losing the person you like to someone else? if they were happy with someone else - let that happen, I’ll be fine alone

Will you be in bed in the next 20 minutes? too early to sleep

Do you laugh at inappropriate times? rarely

How many bracelets do you have on right now? zero

Do you have someone you have late night conversations with? I do

What does your phone do when it receives a text? vibrates

What is in your pocket? no pockets!

Can you remember the last person you texted without looking? my sister

Do you listen to music everyday? almost

Are you gonna be home alone tonight? I won’t be alone

If there was a large spider in your room, would you stay in the room? how big?

Are you a flirty person? maybe The last store you went to was…? local

Do you have a friend named Alex? used to What did you think of the movie Juno? I have mixed feelings about it How often do you eat meat? often Have you ever gotten clothes from the kids section as an adult? I have :x Are you more of a science/math person or english/history person? I’m artsy When you were little, would you have rather watched Cartoon Network or Disney Channel? we didn’t have such expensive channels Since using the internet regularly, have you started to read less than you used to? I read less not because of internet Are you a big fan of the Harry Potter series? nah Do you find yourself feeling lazier when the weather is warm? I feel lazier when the weather is cold because I don’t wanna leave my bed or home at least Are you a fan of the TV show Friends? watched fragments and I like Chandler and Phoebe - I think they would be great together, I’m a bit like them How old do you think is too old to sleep with a stuffed animal? never Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? I’m not How many tattoos would you like to have? I don’t plan any Are you over the age of 25? I am Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? omg! I want my life to get better :( Would you rather live without music or without the t.v? without TV

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countesspetofi · 5 years

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I thought I'd like to share with you this little story that my family used to read aloud every Christmas. It's got all the mid-century holiday anxieties: fear of overconsumerism, distrust/dislike of the younger generation, distrust of technology, war toys, "I am a human being: do not fold, spindle, or mutilate," fear of loss of individuality, and a general fondness for complaining. I've tried to preserve all the old-timey formatting choices.

But we always got a lot of laughs out of it, and certain lines have become stock phrases in our family jargon. Plus, it flashes me back to two of my former jobs, assembling furniture and technical writing. Consider it our gift to you this holiday season, and you don't even have to assemble it yourself.

MERRY CHRISTMAS IN TEN PIECES

by Robert Yoder

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he has a home near the North Pole, where it is colder than a bathroom floor. But don't believe that story about his having a lot of little dwarfs who put toys together for him, singing as they hammer. Nobody puts toys together, until Christmas Eve. Toys come in sixteen pieces, with one missing, and are put together by a large band of Involuntary Elves who call ourselves Santa's Press-Gang Helpers. We don't exactly sing, either, although a certain low, ominous murmur can be heard rising from a million homes on Christmas Eve. Put it this way, kid: that ain't no dwarf; that's your old man, beaten down. The luckless peon bought the toys; now he is learning that he has to finish manufacturing them, too, and by one A.M. his mood will make Scrooge seem like Sunny Ebenezer.

The first thing your frightened eye lights on, in the store, is a nice little red wagon, and you think, in your fatuous adult way, that this is just the thing to brighten the young heart. If you weren't partially paralyzed by the fear that you were shopping too late, you would realize that if the kid wants a wagon at all, it isn't this chaste little model. He would want one twice the size, with demountable tires, a ram-jet engine, electric lights, an overdrive and a windshield wiper, at $79.75. The kid next door has had one like that for two years and uses it only to haul his good toys in. Then you see the rocket-firing antiaircraft gun and realize that this is the answer. While it will not do bodily harm, and is therefore a partial bust to start with, it is a realistic-looking little number, and you buy it, at an exceedingly realistic price.

About the hour on Christmas Eve when you are in mild shock for fear the thing won't arrive, the delivery man stumbles in with a large package that can't be anything else. Will you put it under the tree that way? Or will you have it out in the open, so the child may see this splendid sight first thing in the morning? Full of Christmas sentiment, you decide to expose the gun to full, gladsome view. So you tear off the wrapping. Here is a dial, here is a leg, here is a muzzle. You thought it would look like the model in the store, did you? Well, Santa has a little surprise for you. It's in pieces, and you are going to have to put it together. Merry Christmas, in at least ten pieces.

There is a sheet or folder of directions which could not get under your skin worse if they were in Spanish. They are written in the special language of directions, a mechanical gobbledegook achieved by writing the directions first in Ruthenian and then allowing the translation to curdle. A stop sign from the same mumbling pen would take 200 words. In the language of directions, "Close the door" would read like this: "Grasp door-opening device with right knob grasper and exert pressure outward until Panel A fills Aperture B. If scream is heard, other hand may be caught in opening." Along with being as turgid as possible, the directions are printed in a miniature type face known as Myopia Old Style, which is two sizes smaller than pearl and is otherwise used only to print the Declaration of Independence on souvenir pennies. Well, lying there in pieces, the gun looks like nothing at all; it's got to be assembled. The first line you encounter in the directions says: "Using ring grasper from Assembly Kit, grasp collector ring near tube spar tightening guide rod"... but, thank heaven, that goes with some other toy. Your own directions start out more simply: "Connect round opening at end of Feeder Spring A with hooked end of trigger lock restraining bar by placing round opening over hook and pressing." What'd he think you'd do - spot-weld it? (The answer, unfortunately, is that he expects more than that, but not just yet.) Now the guy begins getting esoteric.

"If retaining mechanism fails to admit trigger, horizontal opening of drum impeding stopper should be widened horizontally." He means if the damned trigger won't go into the guard, you got to cut more room, and sure enough, it won't. This is going to be the only gun in the neighborhood with a demountable (falling out) trigger, unless you fix it. If retaining mechanism fails to admit what it's supposed to retain, then it should never have left the factory, but it's too late for that kind of recrimination now. Getting a hammer from the basement, a good paring knife and a screwdriver, you manage to make the trigger go where it should, with one very bad moment when you think you've split the thing.

Well, the barrel, H, slides into place nicely; maybe things are beginning to go your way. The next step is to fit Firing Platform Z on Tripod, the Tripod being made by inserting Metal-tipped Ends of Legs into Sockets, which is child's play. Now all it takes is two bolts, L and M, which you slip into place with great efficiency. They must be firmly in place, the directions say, or gun will not swivel on Platform Z; you might say, it won't swivel on any platform. A neat little bag contained the bolts, and in it you find the nut for bolt L But half an hour later you are still rummaging through wrapping paper in a grim search for the other nut, the crucial nut, the nut without which, as the Latins say, nothing. You may have 128 nuts of assorted sizes in a jar in the basement, but you will not have one that fits Bolt M. That is a freak size used nowhere else in the whole panoply of American industry. It is part of a shipment the toy manufacturer bought up from the Uruguayan War Assets Administration.

it is 11:45 by the time you manage to make the bolt hold with a piece of wire wrapped around it, and if the kid looks at that part, he will feel sure this toy is something the firemen repainted for the poor. Meanwhile the house is grown cold, three of the Christmas-tree lights have winked at you by burning out, and your cigarette has fallen out of the ash tray and burned a six-dollar hole in the carpet. But the gun is starting to look like a weapon, and there can't be much more - only a couple of odd-looking metal pieces are left and a cardboard circle marked "Cosmic Ray Computer Dial."

One of the pieces of metal is easy enough to use. It's the missing plug, for lack of which the barrel has had that tendency to point to the floor like the tail of a whipped hound. The other is the crank with which the young gunner moves the barrel to keep on his target. You tackle the easiest job first - the computer is nothing more than two sections of light cardboard. "Bending tabs A, C, E and G," the directions say, "fit them into Slots B, D, F and H." The cardboard is a special kind which is a stiff as metal for a minute and then relaxes completely as you push, so that in twenty minutes you have four dog-eared tabs holding one crumpled dial marked with a little blood from the finger you cut trying to enlarge the slots.

Now you reach the part of the directions that tell you to fix on the telescopic sight. The diagram shows a handsome metal gadget coming to a square end, fitted into a ring fastened neatly around the end of the barrel. The only piece of metal you have left, outside of the crank, is a cotter pin. Even if you had missing part R, you would have nothing like missing part Q which fits into it. You ransack the wrapping paper again, in what the novelists call cold fury, but with no luck. Finally, with great self-control you smooth the wrinkled directions and read that jargon over again out loud. It is then that you come across Step 2. "In assembling Model A-200 Junior, our second-rate cheaper model for pikers, Step 2 may be disregarded," the directions say. "No sight comes with this model. There is, however, a cotter pin. You can stick it on the barrel with adhesive tape and play like it's a sight. It ain't much, but neither are you."

There is one final step - mounting the crank. "Slip Directional Crank 16 through Arm Y into Slot EE," the directions say. "When in position, give crank one quarter turn counterclockwise. Trigger should then fall sharply back into firing position." This is simplicity itself, and the only trouble is that if the crank goes through Arm Y, it misses Slot EE by a good quarter of an inch. The bitter thoughts that arise on Christmas Eve about the sleepwalker who bored that slot must visibly affect the temperature.

But the direction writer thought about this impasse, forehanded soul that he is. "It may be necessary, for best results - meaning, to make the thing work at all - to enlarge aperture in Arm Y. This can be done quickly and easily by using a 16.3 metal file without tang, a 13-oz. dinging hammer, and some Australian canoe-builders' flux." This is equipment the ordinary household would be just as likely to have as a Javanese blow gun and a guroo bird, and you know, as your thoughts profane the early Christmas air, that the only 16.3 file in the world is one resting in the manufacturers plant 850.3 miles away across the snowy landscape. So you gouge out a new Slot EE four times the proper size, the crank falls into place, wobbling foolishly, and the task is done. If it holds together until Christmas afternoon you will be agreeably surprised, and a glance at the clock tells you that won't be long.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. If there weren't, ugly mobs of maddened parents would rove the streets Christmas Day armed with bolts, pins, wheels and axles, and some toy manufacturer would end up assembled on Movable Rail A wearing Tar B and Feathers C, after a slight going-over with No. 16 emery paper and a common hydraulic half-knurled center punch.

#christmas #christmas story #Ikea #some assembly required #midcentury #Christmas angst #christmas traditions #family tradition #piker #consumerism #yes Virginia there is a santa Claus #santa claus #santa #vintage toys #christmas presents #it aint much but neither are you

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mrevaunit42 · 7 years

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Butterfly, Star Butterfly (Kingsman Au part 1)

hello everyone, Mr.E here after a seriously long time of not writing full stories. Sorry, life has been pretty chaotic for me and draining. I’m fine but it’s been hard to sit down and actually write a story but here I am with my newest story and letting you know despite the fact Halloween is over, I am still going to write a few stories for starcoween (a totally silly event I made up forever ago) After that i might do a part 2 to this, might give out some birthday gifts I owe. Not really sure yet but we shall see.

Story Prompt: Star Butterfly is a young woman that works for Disney, a humble yet successful shop located in her hometown of Mewni that sells various merchandise based on their popular retellings of classic fairy tales. At least that’s what they want you to think. In truth, they are an agency operating at the highest levels of discretion, protecting the world from any and all threats but this time Mewni’s the target and the secret organization is going to need some help.

I absolutely love the film Kingsman. For those who don’t know it is a British spy film that’s kind of a mix of my fair lady, James Bond and some playful satire of genre. and I couldn’t resist making an au of it. that being said, it is a rated R film so don’t watch it if you’re not supposed to! Seriously just read this story and wait. Oh btw there is some cussing in this story but that’s it really I didn’t follow the plot of the movie one to one and it’s more on a personal level than it was in the film. and Yes I totally poked fun at the codenames and Disney.

so that’s it for me. Have an amazing week! I will try to finish either Monster Hunter Marco or the corpse bride au this week along with the next two nova chapters. I was also thinking of putting up some au ideas I came up in case somebody needed some ideas or inspiration for drawing or writing and the spiderman homecoming au notes that me and my good friend @hains-mae came up with if anyone is curious. Not sure yet. oh btw she’s taking commissions if anyone is interested. I hope you enjoy the story and have a good one!

notification squad: @nerdymetalhead @hipster-rapunzel @artgirllullaby @ladyxgilex @thefandombytes @minthia-ren @burstingamerworld @isolated-frequencies

“and in other news, Lucitor electronics is proud to present….”

Click. Silence filled the void left behind the radio.

Star Butterfly stared longingly outside the cab window, the soft pitter patter of the rain echoed dully against metal was a soft, relaxing music to the 25 year old.

When was the last time she simply drove for the sake of driving? When did she last roam the streets of her beloved Mewni without the constraint of staring at minutes tick away? When was the last time she wore something she chose of her own free will rather than an obligated, yet admittedly stylish, uniform.

She was wearing her usual outfit for work: black blazer jacket with a white long sleeved collared shirt underneath, an elegant pink tie alongside practical black work pants and matching brogues loafers.

“Miss?” her cabbie driver called to her softly “Miss, you have phone call from your mother.”

“Oh!” Star slipped out her self imposed dazed and reach into her jacket pocket “Thank you John, I’ll take it….”

Star blinked quizzically upon realizing she was staring at her own reflection who held an equally surprised face: Her driver had already rose the divider between them so she could take the call in private.

“What a considerate bloke” Star murmured to herself, unfolding the thick black rimmed square glasses and slipping them over her eyes “I suppose I should give him a raise.”

“Give who a raise dear? The driver?” A familiar yet controlled voice called out to her as a ghostly image appeared in the center of the spacious vehicle.

Even the cartoonish greenish blue tint of her mother’s image did nothing to dampen the woman’s rather imposing stature: Full black coat, collared shirt, vest and tie. A long business skirt given her old fashion tendencies and unnecessarily high heels. Her periwinkle blue hair wrapped in a practical braid.

“I assure you Agent Rapunzel he is well paid for his services” Moon blinked in confusion, her eyes narrowing at Star’s surroundings “You’re not at the shop?”

“Well mum…” Star began only to falter when Moon rose a stern finger.

“Names Agent. You never know who could be listening.”

Star rolled her eyes, earning her a scowl from her mother.

“Headmistress Aurora, we’re on highly secure channels. I highly doubt anyone is currently listening.”

Moon shook her head disappointingly “Spoken like a true agent. When you get to be in my position and age, you’ll find some caution is wise.”

“Yes Mu….Headmistress. I apologize. I’m running late to shop on the count that I took a bit of a nap. Just came in from America you know. Lovely town by the name of Echo Cre…”

“I’m aware where you have been Agent Rapunzel” Moon cut in “I’ve read your mission report. Excellent work.”

“Thank you”

“Try not to be late from now on. Grumpy is a bit on edge lately.”

“Lately?” Star rose an eyebrow.

Moon pursued her lips “More than usually. Do not antagonize the poor woman love.”

“Swear on my honor she won’t hear a word out of me gov.”

Moon frowned, torn between chastising her daughter once more or simply leaving it at that.

With a flick, her mother’s image vanished from view and Star was left with her once again empty cabbie. Star remained silent, rubbing her eyes tiredly as the rain filled the void with its melody once more.

Star wasn’t too surprised the shop was still fairly busy despite the less than ideal weather conditions. Everyone near and far wanted to buy something from the humble yet widely successful Disney store.

Not that Star could blame them: Stunning outfits, well crafted toys and high quality items based on their fairy tale inspired line of merchandise. It brought in a pretty penny and was a convenient cover for the memory of a single person to blur among the countless people that could be found within on any given day.

Star patted the tired cashier reassuringly on the shoulder as she made her way past into the break room which was empty save a lone, still steaming mug of coffee sitting on the table.

“We need to really cut back the hours” Star muttered to herself, sliding the cup off to the side and gently pressing the underside of the table “Poor dearies are running themselves ragged.” A small compartment hidden within frame flipped into existence and began to boot up its programming.

“Please remain still” a smooth, calming robotic voice asked politely while a soft green hue softly basked Star in its glow. Star complied with the machine’s request, sitting as unmoving as stone as the sensor began scanning the room with a near invisible beam.

“Identity confirmed” The voice spoke cheerily “Agent Rapunzel, please stand by”

Star rolled her eyes as the entire room slowly descended into further into the earth, the flimsy painted walls of the break room becoming smoothly elegant granite sides.

“This is so bloody unnecessary” Star muttered to herself, waiting patiently for the elevator “Whose bright idea was to turn an entire room into an elevator? A closet would’ve suffice. Typical spies.”

“I know right? It’s almost like they were overcompensating for something” a familiar voice jokingly teased “Spies, right?”

“Spies” Star nodded agreement, rising to her feet and enveloping her fellow, similarly dressed agent in a firm hug “How are you Jackie?”

Jackie clicked her tongue “Agent Rapunzel, did you just break protocol?”

“Only if you sell me out Agent Ariel” Star replied with a grin.

Jackie gave a good nature smirk “Like I would Agent Rapunzel. How are you?”

“I’m alright” Star lied “And yourself? How was Japan?”

Jackie gave a noncommittal shrug “You know how it is: No time to see the sights and there on business only.”

Star felt the twinge of longing and for a moment, the mask fell.

“Star?” Jackie asked quizzically “Are you okay?”

“Jackie….” Star began slowly “Do…you miss it?”

“It?” Jackie was confused what Star was getting at “I’m not sure I’m following….”

Star let out a defeated sigh “Don’t worry about. Just a rouge thought. Shall we pop in and see what’s bothering Grumpy?”

Star brushed past Jackie, ignoring her friend’s concerned gaze.

Grumpy was not grumpy at Star’s tardiness: She was furious about it.

Margaret Skullnick, codename Grumpy, was an older, trollish woman who never smiled in a day of her life. Unlike the more traditional Headmistress, Grumpy was far more lax with her appearance: overly bright red hair, two golden hoops on her ears, built like a muscular tank and had unnaturally pointed teeth.

“You are late Rapunzel” she glared deeply with growl.

Star rose her hands defensively “Ariel was here, you could’ve started without me.”

Jackie shook her head “Don’t drag me into this, I just work here.”

“Sit. NOW” Skullnick snarled, barring her teeth viciously.

Star and Jackie practically dropped into their seats.

“We have a problem” Skullnick began, making her way over to the monitor hung over the fireplace.

“Don’t we always?” Star jested

Skullnick ignored her “The criminal underworld is murmuring. Loudly I might add.”

Jackie and Star shared a worried glance. While both knew what the code-phase meant, neither had ever expected to ever actually hear the word spoken outloud. The two women straightened up in their seats at once

“Murmuring?” Jackie leaned closer “What could possibly cause that?”

“We don’t know” Skullnick answered truthfully “But the fact remains that every single mole, sleeper agent and informant has been relying the same information to us is troubling. Someone is preparing for something big and for the first time in recorded history, we haven’t the foggiest idea what it could be.”

Skullnick tapped at away at the tablet in her hands. Mewni, in all its splendid glory, appeared before them.

“What we do know is many of the murmurs repeat Mewni over and over again. It is more than possible this is the target.”

“Home?” Star rose to her feet “We need every available agent on the case! If the underground murmurs, I cannot imagine what horrible plan someone has set in motion.”

“That’s just it Agent Rapunzel” Skullnick stared directly at Star “I’m looking at all available agents.”

Jackie and Star looked at one another.

“No matter how serious the situation is” Skullnick explained “The fact remains we still have other operations that must be done. Threats to national and international security do not just come one at a time you know and all we have are rumors. Until solid proof is obtained, we cannot simply pull agents from actual credible threats.”

The girls nodded grimly.

“Go to the ground” Skullnick told them “Use every resource we have available. The informants are scouring the city for clues but so far no luck. If this threat is real, then someone is going to an awfully lot of trouble to ensure no one has all the details. And once you have a lead, no matter how small, contact me. I rather be safe than wrong. Understood?”

“Yes Grumpy” The two spoke in unison

“Dismissed.”

“Mewni under attack?” Star muttered to herself in a daze “That’s a lot more terrifying than I’d like to admit.”

“Agreed” Jackie nodded “Do you think the threat is real?”

Star pursed her lips “I don’t know. I want to believe mother is simply overreacting but I’ve never been through such a short briefing before. We don’t even have leads”

“Admittedly that is highly concerning” Jackie scratched her chin “We better work quickly. The sooner we discover or debunk this, the sooner we can have a strategy ready.”

“Alright, I’ll head over to the informant’s house” Star began as stepped towards the exit “A fresh pair of eyes may be needed in case they missed anything…umm do you remember where they live? I swear they keep changing addresses every other month. It’s so….”

Star turned back to her fellow agent only to find Jackie fidgeting uneasily, guilt dancing in her eyes.

“You know” Jackie spoke softly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear “Maybe I should go to the informant? I mean I haven’t seen them in such a long time and it’s pretty rude of me….”

“Jackie….”

Jackie bit her lip as she rubbed her sleeve anxiously.

“I…might know a guy who could help us” she murmured uneasily.

“That’s great!” Star felt a wave of relief wash over her “when can you meet up with him darling?”

Jackie remained quiet, her eyes downcast and forlorn.

“Jackie?” Star placed a comforting hand on her shoulder “What is it love? What’s the matter?”

Jackie took a deep, calming breath “He’s my ex. A bloke by the name Marco Diaz….”

“Oh….” Star muttered dumbly before the familiarity of the name hit her full force “….oh…”

Star remembered now where she heard the name before: Marco was Jackie’s boyfriend back from a few years ago when the two of them were aspiring Disney trainees. He ran with some troublemakers and did some odd jobs for unsavory people but on the whole meant well and was trying to leave his checkered past behind him. As far as she could tell, Jackie was rather happy with him. If everything had gone according to plan, Jackie might’ve married him one day…..

But fate had other plans in store. Being a Disney agent came with a heavy cost and that cost was a personal life. Marco grew increasingly suspicious of Jackie’s absences and trips but telling him the truth was out of the question so Jackie was left with no choice but to break up with him, claiming college was just too overwhelming for her to handle both it and a steady boyfriend.

Jackie used to lament how painful it was to watch his hurt face twist into a stony indifference and while she finally moved on from him, she couldn’t shake the guilt she felt about breaking his heart. He hadn’t deserved it but Jackie was left with no other choice.

“I can’t see him Star” Jackie admitted, tears lightly forming in her eyes “I’ve done far too much to him already, asked too much of him….I can’t put him through anymore…..”

“It’s alright. I’ll speak to him, alright? Do you know where I can find him?”

Star frowned at the locationn before her, eying the half cracked windows and the faded brick exterior warily

“Drunkard’s Haven” Star read the sign distastefully “I should’ve hazard a guess it would be a dive. I reckon I’ll run into an unruly lot. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Star held a firm grip on her umbrella as she took a deep breath in and pushed open the door.

The interior of the bar was dim while a light hazy smoke wafted through the air. The illuminations of various signs promoting drinks, teams and other goods. Empty mugs and half slumped, dazed drunks filled the tables. While certainly not the best pub Star has ever been in, she had seen far worse.

Star strolled up to the counter confidently, ignoring the shuffling of drunken zombies who were slowly taking notice of her disturbance.

“Hello!” Star gave a cheery wave.

The bartender awkwardly returned the greetings.

“I don’t usually get your lot around here” the bartender spoke bluntly.

“What, pretty ladies?”

“No, posh folks.” he gruffly replied.

“Ah….” Star gracelessly replied “Well your lovely pub is tucked away in some off beaten street, bit hard to come by.”

“What will you have miss?”

“Information actually. I’m looking for someone.”

It was amazing how a simple sentence could alter one’s environment: What was once a relaxed stupor became tense and suspicious as the drunks slowly shook themselves awake.

The bartender’s eyes narrowed distrustfully “And why would a pretty thing such as yourself be looking for someone?”

Star beamed “An old friend of mine. Heard he was wondering around these parts. Figured he might fancy a bit of stroll for old times sake.”

“And who…” the bartender rose an eyebrow “are you looking for specifically?”

“A bloke named Marco Diaz.”

Star fought the instinct to simply strike at the now fully awaken drunks, their eyes wide with anger and greed as they mindlessly shuffled to their feet.

“It seems I’ve said the magic words” Star mused, glancing over the other occupants of the building carefully “Bit in trouble is he?”

“You could say that.” The bartender murmured with a glare “The local patron is not happy with the quality of his services. Mr. Diaz owes him a bit of scratch which is not including the product he was told to deliver. The fact that Mr. Diaz hasn’t been returning our boss’s phone calls is a bit concerning. They had a previous agreement that your friend has not been honoring.”

“Ah” Star gave a strained smile “I can see how that could certainly paint him in such a negative view. Well I rather guess I should be off no? I didn’t mean to so rudely awaken all your customers.”

“Actually” the bartender spoke with a menacing edge as the others closed in “Do you mind if we have a bit of a chat about your friend Marco?”

Star sighed dramatically as the dull thud of the door’s lock being clicked into place echoed through the now quiet pub.

“I rather not” Star grin charmingly

“You don’t have a choice love.”

Star shook her head disappointingly “Not respecting a lady’s decision? Rather brutish of you.”

“Sorry darling. We’re not much on manners here.”

Star clicked her tongue “Manners maketh man. Ever heard that before?”

Silence was their answer.

“Well then” Star cracked her fingers “Let me show you how to be proper gentlemen.”

It was satisfying to watch the bartender’s face slip from cocky smugness to full blown panic as Star lashed out, gripping the back of his head tightly and smashing it against the counter. Bartender staggered backwards, a river of blood dribbling down his face and staining his clothes as he weakly clutched at his now broken nose.

“Rule the first” Star began, pivoting on the balls of her feet and driving her fist into the nearest unsuspecting throat “Always respect people. It’ll get you further in life than if you’re an arsehole”

One of the drunks lunged at her but the seasoned agent hooked the handle of her umbrella over his wrist and dragged his fist into another of his comrades and sent them both reeling to the floor.

“Oi what’s the matter with you bitch?!” the nearest drunk rambled at her before pulling back his fist.

“A true gentleman never curses at a lady” Star replied with a cocky grin while she dug her knee as far as she could into his stomach “in fact a true gentleman never would need to curse. Much more colorful ways to express your anger and frustration darlings.”

Star stepped back, narrowly avoiding the knife that swung into view as she twirled her umbrella upright like a sword.

Her foe stumbled uneasily, brandishing his deadly weapon in a rather unimpressive fashion.

“A true gentleman” Star went on, effortlessly dodging an unfocused stab sent her way

“also carries himself with grace and respect not only for himself but for others as well”

The drunkard’s attack were wide and too far to actually threaten the secret agent who playfully batted the blade away with her pseudo-sword. Her opponent growled furiously but Star’s laidback defense proved too much for the inebriated man.

Star rolled her eyes before delivering a solid whack to his skull and rendered him unconscious.

“Well then loves” Star said with a smug satisfaction “I best be off. Nothing here but a waste of time and effort.”

Star’s ear twitched as the dull sound of metal scraping wood filled the air and for the first time since the battle began, her instincts took hold.

Star flung her umbrella wide open, clutching the hilt as tightly as she could while making herself as small of a target as possible. The video feed sprung to life in a strange muted tint. She noticed the bartender lifting something to eye level but Star had little time to hazard a guess when she heard a deep click and a deafening bang.

Star was nearly knocked off her feet as her shield violently shuddered, the image blurred and static for a moment before resuming its live feed of what was occurring in front of the weaponized rain deterrent

The muggy feed showed the bartender giving a condescending smirk her way, pumping the shotgun in his hand for another shot.

Star held on as the metal joints of the umbrella groaned under the next volley, the smooth clothed surface becoming tattered and worn as an empty cartridge hollowly clattered against the floor.

“You” Another shot, the umbrella began to bend inward “Bitch” half the feed froze “You think you could come in here” Star could hear the fabric being ripped to shreds “and just knock us around silly? Well you got another thing….”

Star was saved by the most unlikely of sounds: The gentle rapping of a fist against the bolted pub door.

The bartender jumped, spontaneously aiming toward and pulled the trigger without remembering he hadn’t loaded the next shell into the gun. A satisfying hollow click was the most beautiful noise Star could ever imagine.

Star wasted no time: She flung her near useless gadget to the side and made a mad dash directly towards the fumbling bartender, his hands nervously attempting to load more ammo into his useless weapon.

His eyes went wide with fear as Star approached and in a last ditch attempt to protect himself, he held the barrel tightly and howled in agony as he recoiled from the still burning hot metal.

Star tried not to enjoy herself too much as she clobbered him with a solid hook, sending the dazed bartender sprawling into the wall of alcoholic drinks. He, along with his products, tumbled to the floor and remained still.

“That” Star murmured softly, wiping the nonexistent dirt from her suit “concludes today’s lesson.”

Star blew a strain out of her hair, picking up her discarded umbrella as she strolled towards the door, body tense for whatever lay on the other side.

She undid the bolt slowly and calmly opened the door

“Oi Ralphy, about time you open the door mate, was near freezing my arse out…you’re not Ralphy.”

Star’s heart leapt a little without warning as she found herself face to face with her target.

The police photos did not do the young man before her justice: In his mug shot he wearing plain clothes, his brown hair disheveled as his brown eyes glared angrily at the person photographing him. In person, his brown hair was a little longer and tucked under his black beanie. He wore a white undershirt which was covered by a red hoodie which was further covered by a simple black jacket. Laid back jeans and poorly choice sneakers for the current weather rounded out his attire and while Star was certainly unsure if this was the very same Marco Diaz from the photo, her glasses compared the two images and confirmed a match.

Marco shifted nervously under Star’s silent gaze “Umm…sorry luv, I was confusing you for another bloke.” he scratched his neck sheepishly “A-are you lost? Because I’ve never seen any woman willingly come in here before. The environment is a bit toxic and stale of piss ale, misogyny and outdated ideals.”

The soft pattering of rain was the only response Marco received

“Listen darling” Marco whispered with a hint of concern in his voice “These aren’t exactly good people. I reckon it’s best if you move along and pretend you didn’t see nuthing.”

“Mr. Diaz I assume?” Star asked with a preppy edge.

Marco’s jaw twitched anxiously “….maybe….depends on whose looking.”

“I would like to have a bit of sit and chat with you. If that’s alright.”

Marco shook his head, unable to keep the displeasure from his face while he chuckled “Yeah, see about that…Umm I’m a bit unfamiliar with you and you are pretty but you’re a bit too posh for my taste. Look, I just need to pop in for a sec and talk to Ralphy about an extension.”

“Don’t worry Mr. Diaz” Star replied with a matter of fact tone “You have your extension.”

Star noticed Marco’s frame tense, his jaw locked as Star gently pulled open the door all the way through, gesturing inward in a playful manner.

“Oh that’s not fucking good.” Marco stared dumbfounded at the bodies that littered the floor, the low pained moans that wailed from within.

Marco locked eyes with Star, completely unnerved by her cheerful smile and relaxed posture.

“Well Marco?” Star gave him a flirty smile “Fancy a bit of a date?”

Marco bit his lip, queasily swaying from side to side before breaking into a run.

“I’m pretty sure what you did qualified as assault.”

Star clicked her tongue disappointingly, her eyes rascally as Marco squirmed uncomfortably in his chair.

“I am hurt you didn’t want to take me out Marco” Star’s tone was conversational yet amused

“Well you’re a bit 6’s and 7's” Marco replied in a tense tone, rubbing his sore arm as his eyes darted around for anyone who could help but the cafe’s patrons were preoccupied with staying warm and what delicious meal did they want to try next than noticing the hostage situation before them .

“Hi!” Marco nearly jumped out of his skin as the waiter greeted them “What will we be having today?”

“Usual for me” Star grinned happily “and you honey, what would you like?”

Marco looked at Star, glanced at the waiting waiter then back to Star once again.

Was this a trap? A joke? Was the waiter in on whatever this was? Was everyone else? What the hell did he get himself caught up in? Was Ralphy going to blame him for crazy face’s actions? How the hell was he supposed to pay off his debt now? He was in some serious sh…

“Sir?” The waiter politely interrupted his train of thoughts “Your order?”

Marco stared blankly at the waiter “The usual….I mean her usual, I don’t usually come in to places like this. No offense.”

“None taken” The waiter rolled his eyes before disappearing into the kitchen.

“So whose on your payroll?” Marco asked breathlessly, hands clutching the edges of the table tightly “These your people? Gonna bloody kill me without a second thought? I don’t what you think I’m caught up in but I didn’t mess with no one.”

“Really?” Star seemed unmoved by Marco’s claims “Because according to your file, you’ve been arrested several times for assault, trespassing, breaking and entering and disorderly conduct.”

Marco pursed his lips “Yous with the bobbies or something? Look, I haven’t done anything. Whatever you think I did, I didn’t. After the last time, I got the message loud and clear: Stay on the straight and narrow or go to jail and I ain’t doing hard time because some crazy got me mixed up for someone else.”

Star leaned back into her seat “What did you need extension for?”

Marco’s mouth tightened “That’s a bit of personal business I’m afraid luv. And if you ain’t a cop, I’m not saying a bloody word.”

“Marco, I’m trying to help you.”

“Help me? By getting a confession out of me?” Marco snarled quietly “I ain’t going to jail just because you mixing up crooks and me.”

“Marco” Star whispered gently

“….” Marco remained silent, torn between fact and lies.

“Look” Star brushed her hair behind her ear “I’m not a cop. I need help with something but if I can help you out too, I don’t mind.”

Marco shifted anxiously, his voice low and subdued “Alright. So there’s a local….sponsor who likes to trade money for favors…..take this here, drop that there, move this across town, just….stuff.”

“Mhm” Star nodded but said nothing.

“As you can no doubt tell by my outstanding record” Marco went on “I’m having a bit of trouble coming up with the scratch I need for college. So I figured one…tiny little…delivery wouldn’t hurt….”

“Except it never made it, did it Marco?”

Marco gulped fearfully “I tried. I swear I tried but I was running out options. You high and mighty types judge us effortlessly without a care why we do what we do. I just wanted a clean life but evidently it was too much to ask for and now I’m up shit creek without a boat. I owe money I don’t have to a person you don’t want to be owing to and I got no way to pay it back. And college?”

Marco scoffed dismissively

“That’s more of a far off dream than seeing Jackie again.”

“Jackie?” Star asked curiously.

Marco’s face flushed red “Don’t you worry about that. Look, I don’t know what you were expecting looking for me but I ain’t got anything for you and I doubt you got anything for me.”

Star felt a surge of panic as Marco began to rise from his chair, his defeated weary face tugging at Star’s heartstrings and before she could help herself, the words came tumbling out of her mouth.

“I can get you the money!”

Star mentally smacked herself for blurting it out but it had done the trick: Marco stood there, a mixture of disbelief yet intrigue etched onto his face.

“You? You don’t even know how much I need bruv.” Marco scoffed yet remained still

“Take a seat and find out.”

Marco bit his cheek, unable to choose between the sweet temptation of the door and the alluring of the pretty stranger.

“Alright” Marco relented as he slowly returned to his seat “let’s say I do buy into this whole your my way out of this shitstorm I’m in cuz. If you ain’t a cop and you ain’t a crook, just what are you?”

“A Disney agent” Star replied with the smuggest of grins.

“A what now?” Marco shook his head out of its stupor “Hang on, you taking a piss? You ’re telling me you work at that glorified fairy tale shop what sells those cutesy little knick knacks and thingamajigs to fawning tourists?”

“Yes.” Star straightened in her chair “We belong to a secret organization that operates at the highest levels of discretion. Our mission is to ensure the safety and safeguard the well being of international security and stability of our planet.”

“You….are…mental” Marco rubbed his eyes tiredly “A'ight I’m done. I don’t know what sales pitching you trying to sell or if you’re having a bit fun with me but I’m done. I got far bigger problems than a mental polish girl and her make believe…”

“Here Mr. Diaz” Star gently removed her glasses and slid them over to him “Take the red pill. It’s a real eye opener”

Marco raised an eyebrow “Really? Outdated jokes luv? You’re lucky yous cute or else you wouldn’t be getting fa….”

Marco’s jaw slackened, his eyes wide as he gazed at the world through Star’s lens but he didn’t see the beautiful 25 year old woman sitting across from him, knowing smirk and gaze but rather a series of complex codes, phrases, jargon that made no sense to him. In the upper left hand corner was a live video feed of someone narrowly avoiding gunfire and next to that the glasses focused on Star’s face, zooming and enhancing as they began to run a facial recognition scan.

“Agent Rapunzel?” Marco murmured dumbfounded before blindly groping the air as Star snatched back her glasses.

“Proof enough Mr. Diaz?”

Marco stared blankly at the secret agent, unable to wrap his mind around what just occurred.

“……why do you need me?” Marco asked bluntly “If you these James Bond types, why you gotta go looking through the gutter for help?”

“Simply put” Star sighed anxiously “Something big is going to happen here on Mewni. Soon but aside the fact we’re getting reports indicating Mewni is the intended target, we have nothing else.”

“So you need crooks who’ve got their ear to the ground to help you” Marco nodded in understanding “Why me though? I ain’t exactly the most thuggish and my record isn’t the worst compared to some other blokes.”

Star pursed her lips, conflicted between telling a lie or revealing Jackie had sent her his way.

“Never mind”

Star blinked, unsure what just happened.

“It doesn’t matter” Marco told her “Either you did your homework, someone just told you I was the biggest loser in town or you just lucked out…..so what do you need from me?”

“Well Marco, heard any big scores coming in?”

“Big scores?” Marco rolled his eyes “You spies are really out of touch with reality. No one calls them that. You might as well be running down the streets screaming how you got your life savings in your pocket! See how long that’ll last you.”

“Ooookay” Star frowned “Have you heard anything big coming in?”

“Nah uh princess, that’s not how this works.”

Star frowned “Then how does this work Mr. Diaz?”

“…I want out.”

Star stared at Marco, unsure what exactly he meant by that.

“Mean…” Marco coughed hesitantly “I don’t want…this…” he gestured to himself pathetically “…Anymore. I….I don’t want none of this. I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder in case some thugs happen to stumble on me. I miss visiting my parents. You know how hard it is not to drive their street and check up on them outta fear some nasty blokes are casing place, waiting for you to show up?”

Star thought of her mother and how often she was tucked away in some sort of secret location that only she and Miss Skullnick knew. She thought of the last time she actually saw her mother, hugged her, talked to her more beyond the scope of business.

Star gave a short but understanding nod.

“The money I’ll figure out” Marco told her gently “This ain’t the first time I’ve had to make up some scratch I ain’t got but college….they’re ain’t going to let me in, not without some recommendation and if you being them cloak and dagger companies.”

“Wait a minute” Star cut in immediately “You can’t just…”

“Whoa, chill princess” Marco waved his hand “I didn’t mean make me one of them types or nothing. Shit, I doubt I’d be kept alive two seconds during your job. But you gotta have some pull right? Ways to make them posh academic types look the other way?”

Star shifted anxiously in her seat: She did in fact have a way to grant Marco’s request. However, it wasn’t as simple as calling the school of his choice and waving her I’m a secret agent privilege but rather…

“Do we have a deal?”

Star bit her lip. This was the closest lead she was going to get and while she would normally play for the country card, she had a sneaking suspicion Marco wouldn’t care if something happened to Mewni. Too many bad memories….

“Well do we have a deal?”

Star took a deep breath “Deal: You help stop whatever is going to happen and I’ll help you get a better life.”

“I felt like we’ve done this before” Marco muttered under his breath before offering his hand to Star.

Star stared at the gesture, unsure what exactly Marco wanted from her.

“Handsake? Ever heard of one miss posh?”

“Oh….oh” Star nodded in understanding “Of course I have Mr. Diaz, I was just confused why…”

“I don’t want you double crossing me” Marco interrupted hastily with a nervous tinge to his words “Promise me.”

“…Marco…”

“Promise me.”

Star felt guilt shift uneasily in the pit of her stomach at his plead, the vulnerability in his voice. He was at the end of his rope and he was literally taken a leap of faith on a complete stranger.

The wrong stranger.

“Okay Marco…” Star whispered softly “I promise.”

Marco’s eyes were no less guarded but his body visibly relaxed upon Star shaking his outstretched hand.

Marco took a deep calming breath “Okay. Rumor is Lucitor Electronics is looking for extra workers.”

Star raised a puzzled eyebrow “I’m sorry? I don’t quite follow…”

Marco shifted uncomfortably under Star’s gaze “Of course not, that’s the point. You see luv Lucitor Electronics have been known to….push certain products into the town. If they’re looking for extra workers then that’s street speak for we need something moved and we’ll pay great money for you to keep your moth shut.”

“Do you mean…?”

Marco gave a short nod “They’re asking for 2 dozen workers. That’s the largest amount of ‘help’ they’ve asked for in years. Only means one thing.”

“Whatever they’re moving” Star concluded “It’s big and probably dangerous.”

“Exactly. Next shipment comes in two weeks. Give me your number and I’ll contact you when it comes in.”

Star frowned at that idea but quickly scrawled her number on a napkin and gingerly handed it to Marco.

Marco seemed pretty unsure of himself. He rose to his feet quickly, his mouth opening and closing a few times before giving a curt nod and disappearing into the water veil that blanketed Star’s beloved Mewni.

Star carefully placed her glasses back onto her face, trying to ignore the sinking of her heart as Grumpy whispered quietly “She’s not going to be okay with this you know?”

“I know…..”

#star vs au #my story

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rabbitcruiser · 1 year

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Superman Day

Binge-watch the many adaptations of America’s favorite superhero, or be a superhero for a day by volunteering at a food drive or blood bank on Superman Day.

What’s that?! There in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It’s the Man of Tomorrow! Superman has gone by many names over the years, but one thing has remained the same. He has always stood for what’s best about humanity, all of our potential for terrible destructive acts, but also our choice to not act on the level of destruction we could wreak.

Superman was first created in 1933 by Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel, the writer and artist respectively. His first appearance was in Action Comics #1, and that was the beginning of a long and illustrious career for the Man of Steel. In his unmistakable blue suit with red cape, and the stylized red S on his chest, the figure of Superman has become one of the most recognizable in the world.

Superman has been through a lot of changes since his initial creation, his original Golden Age incarnation actually being a villainous character that bears absolutely no resemblance to our current hero. Superman as we know and love him today didn’t appear until Action Comics #1, published on April 18, 1938. Such was his success that he got his own comic in 1939, and the world has never looked back since.

Since that time, our boy in blue has seen appearances in every form of media the world has to offer. Comic books, video games, movies, novels, stickers, T-shirts, there isn’t a place that the Man of Steel hasn’t made an appearance. He’s even been represented in more than one TV show throughout the years, most recently “Smallville”, which retells his time as a youth in the town he grew up in. Examining the Man of Steel during his developmental phases shows him in a rarely seen state of vulnerability, living through the turbulence of adolescence.

How to celebrate Superman Day

For those desiring to celebrate Superman Day, there are many options that range from entertaining to altruistic. The best way to celebrate Superman Day is to host a Superman themed get together with your friends, complete with a cake decorated with the iconic S emblem. For the dastardly a little green food coloring can change Marshmallow Crispy Bars into Kryptonite bars, and a trampoline in the yard will give everyone a bit of the experience of flying like the Man of Steel. Finish it all off with a marathon of movies and you’ll have a “Super Celebration” this day.

For those looking to be a bit more altruistic, Superman Day is also a great day to remember what the Man of Steel actually stood for. The Red, White, and Blue of his uniform stood for what made America great, which at that time was a desire for Justice, to help those in need, and a powerful spirit. So you could spend your day working at Soup Kitchens, Blood Drives, or a volunteer organization that serves your community. The opportunities to be a little bit “Super” are limitless, just get out there and help your fellow man!

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#Toys 'R' Us #I still miss the Toys 'R' Us store at Times Square #New York City #interior #Midtown Manhattan #summer 2009 #original photography #travel #vacation #comic #super hero #Joe Shuster #Jerry Siegel #DC Comics #Superman Day #SupermanDay #12 June #tourist attraction

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thinktosee · 6 years

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JOURNAL TO DAVID – Monday, January 14, 2019

Flowers arranged by Edna today

Dear David, my Son,

I left home at midday yesterday, a Sunday and drove over to Raffles City. I parked in basement 3 and took the escalator up to basement 1. The old café is gone. A new one was spread before me. Apart from the name, it didn’t look very different from the old. I ordered a latte, and sat down to enjoy and reminisce about our many visits to this mall, starting from when Sara and you were sooooo little.

Not long after, a couple sat beside me. The man struck up a conversation with me. They seemed very pleasant and shared with me their many travels over the years. I learnt the man worked for the same company as Kimi’s dad in Brazil. As I always say….life is full of surprises.

After the couple left, I decided to make the walk I had wanted to do for some time, ever since you left. Walking through the arcade leading to Marina Square and Suntec City Mall, I was quite overwhelmed with emotions. I could feel your presence beside me, just as it used to be – Sara, you and me walking along the rows of stores, shopping and dining along the way. Many a times too, during school holidays, you’d accompany me to the office. I like spent perhaps 2 hours there while you amused yourself with your origami set. Afterwards, we’d catch the subway to Raffles City and had lunch before walking over to Suntec City Mall and “Toys R Us.” You would go in search of a specific toy or game. You always knew what you wanted. I remember putting a hand on your shoulder as we walked along the arcade. You were still in primary school, no more than 12 years. We were all so happy together – Sara, you and I.

Suntec City Mall

As I walked in the arcade, with the memories and emotions filling me to the brim, I witnessed the many families about with children screaming and shrieking in happiness. The place changed somewhat. It’s more family-oriented than before, which is a good thing. I tried to keep it together as I strolled past the places we frequented. And then I saw the fountain. That large fountain which Sara and you found so lovely. I stopped momentarily to stare at it in its cavernous splendor. I could still hear the chatter between Sara and you then. Especially about which store we should go to first – the one which Sara wanted to check out, or “Toys R Us.” Your sister always gave in to you. And she’d accompany you to the store to get your desirables. I could still visualize Sara with a hand on your shoulder, as both of you walked hastily ahead. This image never fails to bring a smile to me – how close you both were. Sara was your guardian and best friend in many ways.

The Fountain

This enormous subterranean complex of shops and eateries was our go-to place, away from the oppressive heat outdoors, especially in the afternoons. I recall in one of these visits, you got me a flight pillow, with card. How so thoughtful! I still have it, David. Everything which Sara and you presented to me is always lovingly treasured.

Meanwhile, at the restaurant we used to dine at……….I’ll say!

I must have walked for nearly 2 hours. Good memories are always refreshing. As I strolled back, I counted the number of “Starbucks” cafés which I passed. It totaled 4. Alright….please don’t get me started on SB coffee.

We miss you, David on this 35thmonth. Nothing changes.

Laying flowers today at the spot you waited for me after every school day @ SJII.

- Daddy

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smoothshift · 5 years

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My takeaways from driving 1300 miles in a brand new rental Miata through Southern Germany (and the alps!). via /r/cars

My takeaways from driving 1300 miles in a brand new rental Miata through Southern Germany (and the alps!).

My girlfriend decided to do a semester abroad in Cologne, Germany. When she told me she was doing this, I planned on visiting. When I planned on visiting, I planned on renting a car.

I drive stick every day, which turned out to be good. My only options without driving stick were some flavor of Citroen or Peugeot hatchback (according to the SIXT website).

You will be shocked to know I did not want either of these cars.

I couldn't get anything super nice, (because I'm 21 and they're right not to trust me), so I really had two choices. A 1 series hatch, or an ND Miata.

I know. You can't get a 1 series hatch in the US yadayadayada... but I have driven 1 series before. I know what they're like. I didn't want a hatchback.

What I did want was a convertible, and the Miata checked that box. My other convertible options were an A3 convertible, and a Beetle convertible. Both of which fall under the category of, "The salesman said plenty of dudes buy it!" The same goes for the Miata, but I feel like those other cars are worse in this regard.

Surprisingly when we went to pick up the car, all of the available MX-5s were automatic. I stressed to the guy at the desk I would much prefer a stick. He explained he didn't really understand because apparently in Europe most people prefer automatic transmissions. I guess it's the same in the US but I didn't really expect it.

Apparently he liked me though, because after some muttering in German to his coworkers, he unreserved the only stick Miata on the lot from somebody who was going to pick it up in a few hours, and gave it to me. Guy was honestly a hero. Sounded a lot like Sebastian Vettel too.

As it turns out, this particular Miata was literally brand spanking new. It had 14km on it (like 8 fucking miles). I was the first person to actually drive it.

After figuring out how to open the trunk, I realized how pathetically small it was. We only had two carry on sized bags and they barely fit. We had to put the one backpack we also had with us behind the headrests where the top folds into. The only other place to store things was a little box between the seats.

The "gun box".

I called this box "the gun box". The only thing it seemed like it was large enough to hold was a handgun. It was too small for a laptop or anything. We ended up keeping a bag of pretzels in it, as handguns are hard to come by in Germany.

Our first stop was the city of Trier, near the border of Luxembourg. The birth place of Karl Marx! I wasn't there for any share-your-shit convention, though.

The "Porta Nigra".

Trier was a major Roman city in the province of Gaul. There's still a lot of ruins from that era laying around, including the very impressive Porta Nigra, or Black Gate. It is the original city gate constructed around 170 AD. Not bad for a bunch of Italians. Apparently it was at one point converted into a church of some kind, and then Napoleon visited Trier in 1804 and said something along the lines of, "change it back".

I just thought this was kind of odd.

The people in Trier seemed to like Americans the most out of any of the places we went. I don't think they get a lot of international tourism. The waitress at the restaurant we ate lunch at kept busting my balls about what kind of pizza to get. She apparently learned English from watching Grey's Anatomy. It seems to me like if you crack a few casual jokes to most German people, they think you're like a cool American, and then the whole interaction is very pleasant.

A panorama of Trier. The closer bridge crossing the river is also an original Roman article. The city of Trier has some small mountains across the river which provide a very nice view of the city.

The roads weren't bad either. Sometimes it was hard to tell whether you were on an actual road or some German's driveway. The Miata was plenty small enough for the petite roads, and was so far about as good as my expectations.

The clutch feel is excellent for a stock car, and as good as any new car I've driven. The pickup on it was predictable, and the feedback through the pedal was good. Felt better than a Focus ST.

Coming from an E46 M3, the size and weight of the pedal made it sort of feel like a little toy. Not in a bad way though. The shifter is fantastic and provides an amount of feedback that I can only compare to my 1974 BMW 2002. It was both refreshing and relieving to feel the amount of reassuring, handshake-like confidence I got from it. I always knew everything I wanted to know about the transmission when I changed gears. Nothing about it felt rubbery, dishonest or disconnected.

The throw was just about perfect. The flywheel felt a little heavy coming from an M3, but it was a really nice balance. The engine was loud enough for me to not have to stare at the tachometer to know when to change gears, too. That really burns my ass when a car is so quiet you don't know when to shift.

The Miata was just the right size for tight German backroads.

I think the car looks great too. Definitely the best looking Miata so far. If the car wants to break its 'hairdressery' image, this is a giant leap in the right direction. I think it looks aggressive and even a little exotic without looking as furious as many new cars do. Any aggression displayed in its little Miata face is definitely justified too, as the engine is a punchy unit (this is not all I will say about the engine).

This square was eerily quiet as there were no roads that allowed cars anywhere near it. Very strange compared to say, any city in the US. Overall I think Trier was a quaint, quiet little city that I liked a fair bit. Our hotel was like an old monastery or something right on the river. Really nice and very inexpensive. Beats the shit out of staying in some sweaty hostel with 30 dudes named Fritz and some ditsy college girls from University of Tampa. I know this isn't a travel sub or anything, I'm just trying to give my opinion here.

"Pickelmann"

From Trier (the birthplace of Karl Marx!) we headed five and a half hours south to the town of Füssen in southern Germany, right on the border with Austria. I told my girlfriend to take a picture of the Picklemann truck because I call my dog pickle man.

He looks like a pickle man, right?

This trip from Trier to Füssen was the first time I had ever been on the autobahn, something I honestly didn't even think about when I rented the car.

The view from our Airbnb in Füssen. A lot of people have the impression that the Autobahn is like, one big wide road that goes through Germany and you can do 200mph on it all the time. In truth, the Autobahn is a lot like the interstate highway network back in the states. Most of the autobahn I drove on was delimited. The speed limits in the restricted areas are typically around 100kph to 130 kph (about 60 to 80 mph), so pretty reasonable. Most people abide by them, too. It isn't abundantly clear when the derestricted areas start in some cases, though.

Sometimes there are signs that look like a regular speed limit sign that is just greyscale with lines through it. That basically means it's open season. However, sometimes the speed limit signs just end, and you don't realize its not restricted until Klaus rips by you in a sprinter van at 130 mph. The fastest most people go is around 130mph. The fastest I saw somebody go was two guys outside of Stuttgart in an SLR Stirling Moss. I didn't realize how rare the car was at the time, or even what it was, so I didn't order my girlfriend to take a picture. That was about as fast as I've ever seen a car go on a public road. Thing took off like a cartoon and must have hit 180mph.

When I got my chance in the Miata, I would typically floor it in 5th or 6th gear and cruise at 160kph (around a hundred miles per hour). You learn a few things about the Mazda Miata when you do this:

The engine may be punchy, but it doesn't seem to like being wrung out like a soaked rag. It didn't exactly sound like it was in pain, but it didn't seem to like it. (I will speak even more about the engine later).

It is loud. The convertible top allows a considerable amount of noise in, but this is just a problem with all soft top convertibles. My M3 is worse. At one point on the arrow straight highway to Füssen I had the speedometer pinned at 240kph for about half an hour. It was deafeningly loud, but we made some really good time. If I could've gotten a stick RF, I would have. The Miata always felt stable and poised at these speeds however, and I never felt like the thing was going to start breaking up or anything. Having the ability to just haul ass down the highway is something I miss about Germany. It was a little alarming at first but once you get used to it, it's fantastic. People take driving a lot more seriously on the highway in Germany.

Cigarette vending machines are absolutely everywhere. Just strange. Like no one ever got that, "smoking is bad" memo. We went to Füssen because of the Castle situation, and it did not disappoint.

Neuschwanstein Castle is the key attraction. Ever see that like really 'castly' looking castle? This is it. It was actually built around 1900 by the King of Bavaria. I think he was a King. I'm not sure what the exact translation is for his title. Anyway, according to Wikipedia he spent all his dough on it and no one knew what to do with this guy. He died under some pretty fishy circumstances. Literally weeks after this guy kicked the bucket his successor had it opened for paid tours. Guy was practically still warm when they started bussing in Chinese tourists by the thousands.

The castle isn't a defensive fixture at all, it was far too late for that. It's really a sort of romanticized palace. Many of the towers and whatnot are just decorative. You cannot go in them.

A view of one of the courtyards. Going inside had a 3 day wait list that we were not on. Can't take pictures inside anyway.

Some of it was under scaffolding, and these port windows were covered in, you guessed it: Plywood! Couldn't have painted it grey, or something?

The other castle on the sight was called Hohenschwangau. It was still a pretty nice joint but not as cool as the big white one.

If you take out your microscope you can see it in all of it's glory.

"bum a smoke?"

I saw one of those new four door Mini Coopers while I was there. That's a Mini? Thing looks like a fucking Deuce and a Half. After spending a few days wandering around the town and the castles with the lovely people of Shenzen, we decided to drive to Berchtesgaden. You know, where Hitler's house is? Apparently it's a restaurant now.

A picture on the way along the Alps. The way from Füssen to Berchtesgaden was a pretty nice trip. Almost all of the roads in Germany are perfectly paved. If they aren't, there's roadwork going on to make it that way (for better and for worse).

A backroad Maps took us down. That didn't really matter though, because the Miata rode just about perfectly. Maybe it's just from driving the M3 so much, but every bump I hit expecting to be jostled around was handled perfectly. The MX-5 has the perfect balance of sporty and comfortable, and I've searched a long time for a car that has that. The steering is also great, especially considering it's an electric rack. I remember reading all of this electric steering alarmism when the car was first coming out. People running around with their hair on fire like, "IT HAS FUCKING ELECTRIC STEERING! PACK IT UP!" Like the scene in Spongebob where he forgets his name. It's bullshit. It feels just as good or better than the benchmark, cheap sports car Focus ST, and almost as good as my M3, which is saying a lot. Could it be better? Yeah. A hydraulic rack would just be better, but it's not worth complaining about. For reference to another modern car, this chassis and steering feels better than the M235i. It feels more tactile, it feels more tied down, and I felt more confident behind the wheel as a result.

German people seem to really like stacking wood very neatly. All of the stacked firewood I saw looked flawless.

The scenery around Berchtesgaden was stunning. After we arrived at the bus stop to take us up to Hitler's eagles nest, we found it it was closed. After getting over the fact that we weren't going to get a cheeseburger in Hitler's living room, we decided to cross the alps the Salzburg.

Thank god we went to Salzburg.

The road over the Alps. I found this road on Google Maps that looked incredible. My girlfriend thought it was going to be like a cowpath or something. It was not. It was about thirty minutes worth of heaven tier alpine road. Definitely the best drive of my life. I would say it was worth the 8 dollar toll.

The view from the top of the road.

The road was very well maintained.

The way up was really great, it was the only time during the trip I really noticed the Miata having any kind of lack of power. Most of the time I was in second or third gear. I said I would address the engine, so here it is. I'm not gonna be some contrarian dope and be like, "THE MIATA HAS PLENTY OF POWER FOR WHAT IT IS, I AKCHUALLY THINK ITS A LOT!"

If 1 is "dog shit" slow, 5 is adequate power, and 10 is alarmingly quick, the Miata is somewhere between 5 and 6. The engine has a nice enough mid range, but it never climbs onto its cams or anything. At low RPM it sounds positively agricultural. It sounds like it should have a PTO under the rear bumper. It doesn't really sound great at any rpm. It also doesn't sound bad though. It's just "an engine". The only interesting noise it made was some kind of gear whine noise in the mid-range that was very faint. The adequate levels of power, and adequate noise it produces make it nothing to speak of. It's punchy, its responsive, but it's really nothing to talk about. This is kind of a let down, and not really an issue at the same time.

Another view from the top.

That being said, I feel blessed I had it up in the Alps. I wouldn't have wanted to be in a 1 series, or an A3, or something. It was the perfect car for the job. The chassis is as nearly perfect as I can imagine. The brakes' stopping power felt good, and the pedal itself felt great and provided excellent feedback. Some people complain about body roll. I didn't notice any alarming amounts of body roll. I thought it was just fine. It's an extremely rewarding car to drive near the limit.

A view down the street in Salzburg.

The interior of their Cathedral.

The 11th century castle on the outskirts of the city. All of these castles really remind you how fucking out of shape you are.

A panorama of the city from the castle.

We returned to Füssen that night along the regular Autobahn. It began to rain while we were in Salzburg, which translates to snow up in the Alps. I still feel really lucky I got to do that drive at all. I was smiling the entire time. If you have a chance to drive over the Alps in anything close to a Miata, fucking do it. You will not regret it. You'll remember the sights, the smells, the feeling of the alpine air, the gear changes... Everything. You know that feeling when your mouth starts to hurt after you've been laughing so much? I felt that from the constant grin on my face for nearly an hour. Anybody who likes cars for any reason has to do it. Make sure you have the top down.

"That is an ALP!"

On the drives during the following days back around Füssen, I had some time to really reflect on driving the Miata. I thought about how the car felt during cornering, under braking, under acceleration, everything. Was the steering actually good? Is the engine anything special? How did the car ride on this road? I had two more days with the car, and decided to wander into Austria again after dinner for a final backroad shakedown.

A windy road though a valley in the Alps.

A beautiful lake we found on Miata Maps. Austria is a really great country. Foods not bad either.

The Miata is the best new car I have driven, period. It is the only new car that has reminded me of the way an older car drives, which was very surprising. Almost every new car I have driven feels like... It feels like there's a little person making all of the decisions between everything you try to do, and what the car actually does.

It didn't have steering that felt like there was a massive rubber bushing in it. The gear change didn't feel synthetic at all. It felt direct and mechanical. The engine (although not anything to write home about) was linear and predictable. Everything the driver touched to operate this car felt extremely well sorted out. It's just the little things that got to me. I convinced myself I could never actually buy this car. The trunk was comically useless, there was almost no storage anywhere else, it could only seat one other person, and it was well... not fast.

What else did I not like? I'll cut to the chase.

Fuck the start-stop system on this car. To death. The start-stop system on this car, or "i-stop" was positively the most annoying thing during the entire trip. For some reason, it does not have memory. What do I mean? When you turn the car off, it resets. If you turn off start-stop, it will only last as long as the car is on. This may seem reasonable if nothing else has memory either, but other shit does.

What other shit? The fucking HEATED SEATS HAVE MEMORY and this shit doesn't. Who's fucking decision was that? The lane departure warning, which is also annoying and useless, has memory (the button right next to it). It also is the only button in the car that requires a long press to turn on or off. If you just press it, nothing happens. You have to hold it down for a few seconds for anything to happen, and there's nothing telling you that you have to do that. I only discovered it after getting pissed and just pushing the button as hard as I could, depressing that entire plastic region of the dashboard. You just know that somebody made the decision for this not to have memory, and whoever did that should be fucking put on trial. It was also one of the roughest starts I have ever felt in a car that has 'start-stop'. Felt and sounded like a diesel truck turning over. Shook the entire car almost alarmingly.

The car also has a blindspot monitor, which is very sensitive and very annoying. Maybe I just drive like an asshole, but it seemed like whenever I put my blinker on to change lanes, if a car was anywhere near the side of the Miata, it would start beeping. I could feel my blood pressure rising every time I considered changing lanes. Ever hear your phone's alarm during the day after you've woken up? After a while hearing those beeps felt like that.

The rear view mirror.

This car's rear view mirror also seemed pretty jacked up. There was a power button on it for some reason, I'm guessing it was for some sort of dimming, but I did not notice a difference when I hit the button. It also did not adjust so that I could actually see out of the rear window. I'm not a tall person. I'm like 5'10". Maybe I'm just a moron, but I could not get the mirror to an adjustment where I could see behind me without slumping down in my seat a few inches. To me this must be some sort of fuck-up because there's no way they didn't figure that shit out. Seemed like a really obvious thing to get right.

The coolant temp gauge on the dashboard was also not very easy to read, and the infotainment system looked like the home screen I had on my PSP when I was in middleschool.

The car beeps whenever you put it into reverse. Why? It has a reverse lockout. Reverse feels like its in another fucking state. I know I'm changing into reverse. Why does it beep? I feel like the president complaining about this shit.

"I asked my people, why does it beep? Why does it beep when its in reverse? They said we don't know! You hear it. When you change gears, it goes... Beep! I said, I know the car is in reverse. I put it there, you know, in reverse, and... Beep! Unbelievable. We gotta get smart, people! You see what they're doing! We have to get smart."

To me it seems like they got everything about the driving experience so right, that the people who make cars annoying were like rubbing their palms ready to try and ruin it.

I'm finished complaining.

By the end of the trip, I knew where I stood with the car. I liked it a lot, it was everything I expected it to be. I wasn't in love with it, it was just a nice car to have for this little trip I went on, and nothing else. It was too impractical to buy, because it was just a useless little car to do anything besides drive in.

Then I had to return it.

Another great little road in Austria.

After 1300 miles, driving this car back to the airport, I had a pit in my stomach. It just happened. I did not want to give it back. It was a useless car! I still think it's useless! You cannot put ANYTHING or ANYBODY in it. In every day life, you basically can't take anyone anywhere, you can't carry shit, and you'll barely ever drive it. It would have to be a third or fourth car. Your friends will probably make fun of you for buying it too, at least, my friends would. They made fun of me for even renting it! Then I was thinking, well if its a third or fourth car, why not a used M3 or something? For Miata money you can have a much nicer used car. If you're barely ever gonna drive it the maintenance wont cost shit anyway. I kept running all of these scenarios though my head about all of the logical reasons why I could never have one. It's a car that's literally only useful for driving.

Then I realized, that's why I just didn't want to get rid of it.

It's only useful for driving.

It reminded me of a part of James May, The Reassembler, actually. This part.

It's a simple thing. It's a car... that you can drive. That's the only reason for it's existence. That's all it does.

It kept me thinking that the people at Mazda who make the Miata must also understand this. That really it's a stupid thing. They completely understand how it's impractical, it's uncompromising, and it really isn't good at anything in day-to-day life. They get past all of that. Somebody explained all of that to them, explained to them why they couldn't make it, and they said, "Fuck. You."

I don't know. It makes me happy as a car guy. It's a giant middle finger to the automobile being treated as an appliance. Supercars are an even bigger middle finger, but anybody can buy a Miata.

Me and my new friend somewhere in the Alps

I'm sure most of the people reading this have watched Top Gear or The Grand Tour. You know how sometimes they get a car on a roadtrip and they tell you it becomes like one of their friends? I always thought that was bullshit, because I couldn't relate. Now I know they are completely truthful when they said that. Every time I parked the car somewhere, I was thinking to myself. "Will the Miata be safe here? How is the Miata?".

I would peek out my window and make sure it was okay.

Changing gears DID feel like shaking hands with an old friend. It carried me down the autobahn quite happily at 150mph. It waited patiently in parking lots to take me on my next adventure. It welcomed every corner with enthusiasm, and every mountain road with poise and determination. It was like an excited puppy.

"Come on! Get in! Lets go drive! Where are we going?"

Taking it back to the rental place, I just felt like I was tying it to a post and leaving it. I felt like it was still wagging its tail behind me as I was walking away.

I just hope I gave it a good break-in, and I hope it has a lot of great miles ahead of it.

#reddit #autonews #auto #cars

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josephkitchen0 · 7 years

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50+ Surprising Chicken Nesting Box Ideas

New flock owners are always on the hunt for creative chicken nesting box ideas, so we asked our Backyard Poultry readers to share their suggestions, pictures, and advice! Take a look at these fun and original nesting boxes, upcycled from items around the house and farm or purchased on the cheap. Who knew you could get so much life out of Home Depot buckets, milk crates, kitty litter containers and even mailboxes! Plus, don’t miss these tips on the best bedding for chickens to make sure your bedding options are safe and comfortable.

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• BELOW: Our newest nest box … the girls love it. — Jennie Adeski Jones

• BELOW: Our nesting boxes, our small barn. — Jodi Vaske

• BELOW: I use a nesting trough so no one fights over the same box … if there’s a favorite spot then they have the option of laying next to the current user if they can’t wait their turn. — Veronica Roberts

• Plastic potato bins. I stacked four of them. Have nine hens. They just use the bottom one. — Andrew Phillippi

• Milk crates. — Nick French

• BELOW: An old cupboard. — Fawn Stammen

• BELOW: Five-gallon buckets with a 2×4 across the bottom of the open end. — John Mueller

• BELOW: Plastic baskets. They’re so much easier to clean. — Julie Raine

• BELOW: Plastic Home Depot buckets. Hubby made a wooden stand and they slide in and out for cleaning. — Lisa Adams

• My husband and I use old plastic totes upside down with a hole cut in them so the can get in and out. — Heather Preston

• BELOW: I got this from a young couple that makes and sells them for extra cash. I am still looking for license plates to cover the rest of the top and sides, and curtains are next on my list. — Jennifer Shcaer Jackson

• They don’t use them. So basically an uncovered cubby, they all lay in the same cubby too. — James Vriana Beaulieu

• One coop I have 5-gallon buckets and we use straw/hay in them and the other coop we have dish pans with pine shavings in them. We made free-standing shelves with steep roofs so no one nest on/in them. — Jennifer Thompson

• Wood wine boxes. — Kelley Jane Kloub

• BELOW: We modified wooden crates, that are lined with a thick plastic mat and straw. The chicken love these boxes and often want to sleep in them. I had to put something over them because the chickens would roost on the sides and poop in them. But these have worked for well over a year. The burlap shades shake off easily and dry easily when sprayed off. — Amanda Currey

• I made boxes from plywood and use straw for bedding . — Mark Pieklik

• BELOW — Amey Walker McDow

• In our coop and outside hut we actually use a square shoe organizer cubby we bought at Menards. In the stalls, we have regular aluminum nest boxes. — Leah Mae Johnson

• Chick-N-Nesting boxes…they turn anything into a coop! — Danielle Sechler-Gunther

• BELOW: Old metal ones. — Sharleen Beth McGaw Hendrickson

• Metal 10-hole nesting boxes. — Lyndsay Grummet

• Dish pans. — Christine R. Hupper

• BELOW — Nancy Powell

• We have a single nest box that opens on the outside, and it is really wide, so three or more hens can use it at once, but no dividers. We found the hens would use the same ones anyway and didn’t want to waste hubbies time build a bunch if they just choose favorites and share anyway. — Ericca Colby

• BELOW: My son built my small coop as a birthday present! The nest box is plywood. — Becky Mishler

• BELOW: We built a custom three-tier box to fit a vintage window. It’s so nice to be able to see in to find the eggs. — Lori Jordan

• BELOW: Lots of Dengie chicken bedding. — Tine Ton

• I have wooden boxes built into a stall in the barn that are difficult to clean. They don’t drain so I put a plastic tub in each one with straw. Now when an egg breaks it doesn’t stick to the wood and make a mess. And it’s much easier now to change out the bedding. — Susan Everett

• BELOW: An old play kitchen. — Holly Matherne

• Store-bought wooden boxes and I use pine shaving for bedding. — Jenny Leslie

• BELOW — Christi Jones

BELOW: My bantam’s love this one. — Christi Jone

• BELOW: I built it into the coop. I have access to the two nests from the outside. I placed the eggs in the nests to get the ladies motivated. They are right at 22 weeks old so we should be getting eggs any day! — Scott Branch

• BELOW: Plastic crates with top flaps. — Kymberly White

• Milk crates. — Rodney Marical

• BELOW: These are built into the wall and accessible from the outside of the coop. — John Johnson

• BELOW— Mamahen Shaw

• 5-gallon buckets. Just lay them on their sides and prop up the front with a block of wood or a brick, works great! — Jacqueline Taylor Robson

• Boxes built onto the back of the coop. — Karla Redden

• Kids bookcases. — Mary Dorcey

• Dishpans from the dollar store. I sized the partitions to fit and keep a few cleaned and ready to go in. They also are removable from the outside via a hatch. — Mike Hilbig

• BELOW: They have space but lay in the same nest. — Ericca Colby

• BELOW — Carrie Miller

• BELOW — Kenan Tufekcic

• BELOW: Kitty litter hooded pan. Easy to clean. — Chris Carena

• BELOW: Baby changing table. — April Wilson Brown

• BELOW: I use the black plastic fruit and vegetable packing cases. Lots of room, though you wouldn’t believe it and very easy to scrub clean! — Eileen Thomas

• Old speaker boxes. — Janene Duffy

• I bought an 8 nest condo from Farm Tek. They love it. I also nail up milk crates they are great for perches. — Carolyn Ellis Niven

• BELOW: Homemade boxes. — Sandra Nevins Bailey

• BELOW — Carrie Isenhouer Cushman

• Boxes built onto the side of the coop that I can access easily. I put straw in them. — Courtney Crawford

• BELOW — Isabella O’Mahony

• BELOW: Milk crates with pine shaving. — Mike’s Misc Sales

• BELOW: We recycle and work was gonna throw this soda rack out! — Kristin Ransiear

• BELOW: The Booda … they can be relocated out of the coop so they don’t lay in the yard. And they can be sanitized if they get dirty. They wait in line and also share if they’re impatient. — Donna Nelson

• BELOW: Kitty litter buckets! — Tanya Pribyl Manthie

• BELOW — Tammie Beckner

• Old subwoofer box. — Chuck Sturm

• Artificial grass. — Sharron Lowe

• Tool bins. — William Poling

• Lawnmower catcher with wood shavings from hubby’s toy making. — Kia Ora Dawnie Angell

• We made eight boxes and they all use the same one. — Molly Scott

• We made boxes from plywood & 2x4s. We use pine shavings as that’s what they have preferred. I’ve tried straw and even horse bedding but they like pine shavings. — Carrie Domerchie

• BELOW — Krista Johnson

• BELOW: Wine boxes. — Siry Bromley

• Bucket — Jill Rogers

• BELOW — Kristen Cutlip

• BELOW: My newest rollaway nest boxes. — Julianne Seguin

• BELOW: I use cat litter containers. — Kristen Barton

• I built my chickens nest boxes, but they preferred laying in discarded sinks and old toilets that were dumped on the ranch I was cleaning up. — Kayla Chang

• Milk crates. — Tom Oates

• The bottom half of a cat carrier. — Brenda Givens

• BELOW: Wood shavings in a renovated dresser. Our first successful mama hen. — April Gardner

• Plastic cat litter buckets on their side with the larger part of the cover removed, leaving the smaller part to be a ‘stopper’ so the shavings don’t get kicked out as much. — Diane Allen

• BELOW: Old potting planters. — Angi Toth

• BELOW: They are plastic. My husband then screwed them into the wall and put a little board in front. The girls love them! I have 10 hens and they use all three every day. Well, one little diva lays on the floor right underneath but the rest use them daily.

• Dishpans from the dollar store lined with wood chips. — Vicki Campbell

• BELOW: My husband built this for me. — Liz Kinyk

• BELOW: They’re numbered because the fronts are removable for cleaning, and were made for each box (not interchangeable). Makes it easier for me. — Ruth Ann Clark

• BELOW — Tracy Joan Case

• I must be the only person here that does not like to enter the pen to collect eggs, mine are set up in such a way I collect externally. — JR Wallis

• BELOW: We used these bins from Lowe’s and screwed them through the bottom. Girls absolutely love them. — Elisabeth Nyenhuis

• Thrashed flax stalks filled 5-gallon buckets. I have a stack of milk crates I slide them into, or I just scatter them around the coop. — Kitsune Nyx

• BELOW: — Bonnie Williams

• Plastic lawnmower catchers. — Susan Glambert

• Beer boxes. — Andrew Sherman

• BELOW: 5-gallon bucks with holes drilled in the bottom so when I clean them the water can drain out. No curtains, that is just added work to keep clean. Simple is better. — Trish Haygood Hutchison

• BELOW — Jen Fletcher

• An old chest of drawers, drawers from an old refrigerator, and old car tires. — Joanne Russell

• BELOW: Old computer screens take out screen and wiring they love them. — Sue Jones

• BELOW: Home Depot buckets. — Beth Ann Henry Smith

• BELOW: Freebies from my son’s work. — Christine Cowling

• BELOW — Deloris Marie Bursott Mills

• BELOW: I found some old large mailboxes someone threw away and cut the backs out. I mounted them in the front wall of my coop so I can just open the mailbox door and reach right inside! — Marilyn Hill Baxter

• BELOW: Built from old wood and steel I found around our farm. — Andrew Weispfenning

• BELOW — I have used milk crates and wood boxes and 5-gallon buckets. — Penny Coffman

• If you do yard sales, old night stands can make a nest box, dressers too. I use old parrot cages as well. — Victoria Seaborn

• Wood wine boxes, they are wider. — Barbara Visocchi

• Bee boxes. — Angela Roberge

• Dishpan with pine shavings. — Linda Rice Carlton Abraham

• BELOW: Doghouse

• BELOW IKEA bookcases. — Amy Hendry Pistor

• BELOW: Kitty liter containers, very easy to take out and clean! — Kelli Sizenbach

• BELOW: This is solid wood. — Deborah Rogers

• Timber wine boxes. — Quentin Carter

50+ Surprising Chicken Nesting Box Ideas was originally posted by All About Chickens

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gabrimarsh-blog1 · 7 years

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Shoot Digital Cameras

The following technology point and shoot camera reviews Narrative Clip is our most advanced Clip yet. This Nikon Coolpix L830 is no doubt among the finest level and shoot cameras ever produced. A few of these housings are backwards suitable with the RX100 IV as well. This camera actually has no nasty surprises to it. It takes wonderful images and decent video, is a good performer, properly-built, great ergonomics, and has an easy to use interface. But things hopefully won't stop there: now that Samsung has signaled its willingness to let third-occasion developers design apps particularly for this digicam module, we are able to envisage a multitude of how in which it might be made higher suited to a spread of area of interest customers - from tech bloggers to realtors, location scouts and untold others who'll want automated scripts for resizing, watermarking and filing images; distant control apps; and who is aware of what else. Its sixteen-megapixel sensor is less detailed than the 20-megapixel chips within the Canon models, and its 20x zoom is shorter than the SX620 HS's, but it additionally produces sharper results and has a wider sensitivity vary, which allows for better low-gentle images. That was beginning to push my finances, particularly after factoring in a second battery and a safety plan. Full hybrid photograph expertise with 30p 4K Extremely HD video and 4K photo mode. Canon's premium S sequence was my go-to compact till Sony's pricier RX100 got here round, and the S120 is the company's latest iteration in a long line of superior shooters. The fixed lens, meanwhile, is a 35mm (f2.zero) ZEISS Sonnar T. What you will not find here is 4K video recording. The Canon PowerShot G7 X and PowerShot G7 X Mark II share a lot in frequent, together with the 24-100mm lens found on the G5 X. Neither, however, affords an EVF like our runner-up or can shoot 4K video like our prime choose. You may still get an affordable compact camera, but we've been underwhelmed by fashions in the sub-$200 price range. But the very best function of this model is its 12X optical zoom lens, which helps to set the Canon ELPH 360 other than smartphone cameras that haven't got an optical zoom capability. In just about every other area that issues to me in the discipline (past silly of us capturing newsprint and brick partitions), the Canon offers the equal or better image high quality of both of the Leicasonic cameras. Whereas 24mm could sound huge to a land based shooter, we typically consider an angle of over 100 levels to be the start line for an underwater large-angle setup. The idea behind that is to help seize that crucial action second, so if you're only a break up second late when some attention-grabbing topic behavior is on show you've gotten a possibility to nonetheless seize the shot. Close-up shots required switching the lens to macro mode and getting extremely near my subject, fairly than flipping the zoom toggle and sustaining a protected distance. It will still be notably higher than your smartphone, and packs a 32x zoom, small dimension, and straightforward to make use of touchscreen. Further features, equivalent to movement blur reduction (which reduces digicam shake), and HD video recording (720P) make this an amazing buy and comfortably among the best compact cameras available for under £100. Relatively than use a mirrorless design to simply scale back the size of the gadget, Panasonic has concentrated on the technology's leaning toward video seize. In case your predominant concern is price, weight, and buying a travel camera that is simple to use, then it would be best to look at buying a Compact Digital Digicam. Many of the level-and-shoot cameras embrace Full HD video capability permitting you to obviously capture anything movement Camera and Photograph store has one thing for everybody on the lookout for a degree-and-shoot digicam. Mirrorless cameras also have a improbable auto-focus system and, with the DSLR adaptor, you need to use them with a myriad of lenses. Whether or not 2017 takes you to the seaside, pool, slope or path, waterproof compact cameras are a unbelievable photography tool for individuals who want to discover a world the place regular compact cameras just aren't designed to go. Built to resist the elements, these rugged cameras are gaining in reputation thanks to their ability to take nice images in places that bigger DSLR and mirrorless cameras can't go with out expensive waterproof enclosures. I'm curious too, but primarily lean toward the cameras between those two and 1.5/1.6x cropped bodies - the nicer four/three Pana and Oly offerings, primarily. We'd have favored to see 4K recording, but this one is restricted to 1080p Full HD video recording. A again-illuminated Exmor R CMOS sensor with 18.2 effective megapixels takes in additional light for better detail in every shot. The £799 price is pretty cheap by CSC standards, and places it squarely between entry-level fashions such as the Canon EOS M3 and premium-priced cameras such as the Fujifilm X-T2 , but the impressive factor is that it performs extra like Fujifilm's high-finish rival in most respects. Such skinny cameras simply fit inside a pocket or purse, leaving your hands free for other duties however protecting the camera inside attain at all times. There are fewer updated fashions launched with DSLR know-how; due to this fact, a photographer can anticipate that this purchase will remain present for a longer period of time. If cash is no object and you need palms down the perfect travel camera on the market, our decide is the brand new Sony a7R II. The original Sony a7 and a7R had been spectacular in their very own proper, but Sony has really honed it in with the a7R II. The digicam encompasses a forty two.4-megapixel again-illuminated picture sensor, 4K video, improved low mild efficiency, and built-in image stabilization. With them, there isn't any extra worrying about sharing pics on social media , as a result of all you must do is shoot, best compact digital camera print and hand out a very good 'ole usual photograph to your friends and family. I simply upgrade to a Sony RX10 iii instead and up to now am very much in love with my results. Using Bluetooth 2.zero connectivity, you possibly can beam your favorite digital pictures from the CL65 on to compatible gadgets, akin to cellphones. Level And Shoot cameras (also referred to as Digital Compact cameras) meant for consumers who need to take snaps. The most recent additions to Sony's Cyber-shot® line of level-and-shoot cameras deliver powerful new features for consumers, ranging from 360° Sweep Panorama and image stabilization technologies to artistic image effects. Some customers wished contact screen, and others missed not having 24p movie filming functionality, but for my part, these are moderately minor quibbles for a digicam at this price. It's tough to argue with the outcomes from the Canon PowerShot G9 X Mark II digital camera. There is a super-high ISO worth of 1,640,000 on provide, whereas 4K video recording can be readily available. The RX100 V presents an improved autofocus system, a 24 fps burst mode (of sixteen fps on RX100 IV), and extra recording settings for video, however it does have a slighly lower battery life than the IV. Maybe the biggest benefit to having a touchscreen is that with the digital camera set to its single- or multi-level AF mode, you simply tap the rear display screen to set focus, a far quicker action than the a number of-step course of required on the Sony RX100 III. Have fun together with your research then check prices at B&H Picture in New York. IFA in Berlin introduced the primary compelling Android-powered model, the Samsung Galaxy Digicam, while Photokina delivered a handful of full-body DSLRs and Sony's jaw-dropping Cyber-shot RX1.

In actual fact all three of the Fuji X10, X20 and X30 fashions still appear to be available from Amazon. Sharing photos on-line is likely one of the largest developments now and Panasonic believes image quality does not should be comprised. Fujifilm XT20 has a panorama mode as well as advanced filter mode, which incorporates 8 filters (Toy, Miniature, Pop Shade, High-key, Low-key, Dynamic Tone, Smooth Focus, and Partial Color). Panasonic refreshes HD camcorder range: 3MOS, 1MOS and Waterproof choices. For travel and avenue photography, the Fujifilm X30 can go head-to-head with any compact digital camera in the marketplace. It was the first Panasonic camera to make use of a sensor that doesn't have an anti-aliasing filter, which mainly means you can get some highly detailed photos from this miniature marvel. The aperture maxes out at f/2.four on the huge end, rising to the not too shabby f/four.zero at the telephoto end, meaning your low light photographs will probably be pretty good. When readers choose to buy our independently chosen editorial picks, we earn affiliate commissions that help our work. If you want to put quite a lot of energy in your pocket, the Nikon Coolpix A900 is a good way to start out. The HS within the Canon Powershot SX700 HS ‘s title refers to ‘excessive-sensitivity‘. The lack of an EVF actually explains how Panasonic has been capable of launch the LX10 at a decrease beginning value than we've ever seen for a equally specced 1-inch-sensor digital camera. But for those who focus on nonetheless images, Fujifilm can't be beat. Taking photos has lengthy been an advanced process, and extremely intelligent individuals all through history have applied their wits to the duty of making photography easier.

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minnievirizarry · 8 years

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How to Use Snapchat: 7 Must-Read Tips for 2017

Let’s not fool one another–Snapchat is a young game both figuratively and literally. According to Mashable, roughly 77% of college students use Snapchat every day. Additionally, only 29% of its users are over the age of 25–meaning even your youngest marketer in the office might be a bit behind.

Knowing how to use Snapchat effectively has been at the forefront of many companies’ needs. There’s a huge market of 150 million users and a core demographic that has been well-defined.

The trick with Snapchat is using resources correctly, understanding the market and actually providing users with content they want to see on the network. In this even newer world of social content promotion, you have to work with surgical touch.

In this article, we’ll provide seven tips on how to use Snapchat in your social media strategy for 2017:

1. Create Context With Stories

Storytelling has been in our blood for centuries. A great story should ultimately inspire, create an emotion and be memorable. With Snapchat Stories, the idea is exactly the same. Crafting a followable Snapchat demands a cohesive message.

This is why context is so critical to your Snapchat content. Several brands create mini series, themed videos or even short movies, like Taco Bell recently produced. To get your followers involved, you have to provide context.

Why should they follow your brand over others? What sets you apart on Snapchat? How will you provide timely content on a regular basis? These are the types of questions marketers have to ask.

Push Your Creative Side

By giving a reason to follow the content, more users will share, interact and absorb your content. Luckily for marketers, this space is still new and budding. Take advantage of this unique space by promoting some of your more creative content.

Check out our new filter on Snapchat! #ForçaBarça! 👻FCBSnap pic.twitter.com/neSUTHJwj0

— FC Barcelona (@FCBarcelona) January 20, 2017

This doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want with the network. But to promote a brand, you have to create a space of creativity. People likely just want to follow brands on Snapchat for deals, humorous content or entertainment.

Get users wanting to see what comes next by providing a unique storyline through Snapchat Stories. Making videos with cliffhangers or ��to be continued” could increase enticement. You don’t need to create a soap opera-themed Snapchat, but instead, a story where people can enter and exit with ease.

2. Increase FOMO By Showing Live Events

One of the biggest emotional pulls from social media is creating the feeling of FOMO (fear of missing out). Whether it’s an Instagram video of the beach or Snapchat of you at an NFL playoff game, social increases FOMO.

👻: officialchiefs pic.twitter.com/aQpVuuFOfc

— Kansas City Chiefs (@Chiefs) January 25, 2017

For your brand, Snapchat could be the perfect space to promote this type of content. For example, the Kansas City Chiefs NFL team likes to give behind-the-scenes content that shows off what it’s like for the players off the field. Additionally, others brands like to promote this type of content to get people involved on future events or online through social media.

The event you’re promoting doesn’t have be as big as Coachella. Instead, brands can share images and videos from other industry-specific events. Highlight things like co-marketing efforts between companies or the free swag you’re getting by just being there.

It’s tough to find time to produce high-quality Snapchat content, so show off live events, team outings and other happenings with the of the best in-the-moment social networks.

Want to know what it's like to work at @Bustle? Follow us on Snapchat tomorrow Jan 17!https://t.co/LjnwVc9Aso pic.twitter.com/hnn5gLVuoX

— FindSpark (@FindSpark) January 16, 2017

3. Highlight Industry Connections & Interactions

On top of showing off where you are, try to shine your industry connections and interactions. If you don’t have the budget for social media influencers, try to plan content around industry connections.

Maybe not everyone knows the marketing associate on the team you’re collaborating with, but noting both your presence together could be valuable. For example, if you were an email marketing agency, it might be good to highlight industry connections with content management providers.

The two industries likely attract a similar audience, and Snapchat can be a great way to showcase co-marketing efforts. Your content could promote things like upcoming:

Webinars

eBook collaborations

Shared events/conferences

Guest blogging updates

Joint research

Video series

This type of content will have your Snapchat users wanting to follow to find out who you’re working with next. It’s not easy publishing completely enthralling content on Snapchat. So try to send videos and image updates to your followers about your collaborations.

Some people will be more interested in what your company is doing than selfies.

4. Use Geofilters to Push Your Brand

Geofilters on Snapchat are oftentimes associated with locations such as neighborhoods, cities, sports arenas or major landmarks. However, one way companies engage with their customers on Snapchat is through on-demand geofilters.

I'm having major Disneyland withdrawals, I need to go again and get an AP soon! 🏰

A photo posted by Nicole Eddy (@nicoleddy) on Feb 16, 2016 at 11:27pm PST

For example, possibly the biggest brand taking advantage of its branded geofilter is Disneyland. As you can imagine, there’s a ton of Snapchat action happening already. Disneyland is able to brand their photos with fun filters specifically based on their location.

However, you don’t have to be a giant amusement park just to use branded geofilters. Other major chains like Toys R Us, Target and Starbucks use these filters for many of their store locations.

Having fun with the new @Target @harrys @Snapchat filter this morning at #T1847! #harrysattarget #bestteaminretail pic.twitter.com/giIHjzhPtp

— Kevin (@KevinMillerTGT) August 11, 2016

How Much Do Snapchat Geofilters Cost?

The cost of Snapchat geofilters depends on the size of the location, duration and the filter itself. Many couples can use geofilters for 24-hour events such as weddings, which can cost roughly $15-20 a day.

And they lived happily ever after 💑 get your custom wedding snapchat filter for your special day to make memories as unique as you are #wedding #engaged #snapchat #happilyeverafter #snapchatfilter #weddingbells #love #photooftheday #party #weddingparty #bride #groom #forever #weddingdress #weddings

A photo posted by Wedding Snapchat Filters (@weddingsnapchatfilters) on Apr 27, 2016 at 3:21pm PDT

On the other hand, there are business options from Snapchat, which can allow you have a duration of 30 days. But the size of the geofilter also depends on the area of your business. Sizes go from 20,000 square feet to 5 million square feet.

Geofilters are a simple way to engage your audience on a platform that can sometimes be hard to reach users. This is a simple and affordable advertising solution for businesses who want to have fun with their Snapchat customers.

5. Preview Products or Demo Releases

Creating hype around a product release is a tried-and-true marketing tactic—so why not take this effort to Snapchat? With images or 10-second videos, this is the perfect place to build hype or give previews to your new products.

Businesses on social media use this across other platforms already, but Snapchat could give the extra flair of exclusivity. If your brand wants to show off all the effort going into your newest product or service, try using Snapchat to build awareness and buzz.

For example, GE commonly uses Snapchat to give tours and introductions to team members you might not expect. In this example, GE ends its Snapchat Story with information to “stay tuned” for more on drone development.

This creates buzz and awareness of GE’s drone manufacturing and uses. Driving users to pay attention to new releases or major announcements helps create awareness while giving your audience a reason to come back.

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Sell

On social media, it’s easy to fall into a lull and become overly promotional. According to the Sprout Social Q3 2016 Index, nearly 60% of respondents said the most annoying action from brands on social is being too promotional.

However, you shouldn’t let this scare you from promoting on Snapchat completely. The network has no way of directing or linking organic posts to specific landing pages. This means your posts can be promotional, but not over the top.

Again, you don’t want to only sell and promote on social, but you can use Snapchat to creatively push your products or services. One of the best at this is Bloomingdale’s. The retailer’s Snapchat often goes through a cycle of its products that you could use for an event.

We're striking a (yoga) pose in our new fitness gear on Snapchat — don't miss it! https://t.co/I0GtDEGI3y pic.twitter.com/yup4aNd2I2

— Bloomingdale's (@Bloomingdales) January 24, 2017

For example, one of their recent stories highlighted exercise and yoga gear from mats and water bottles to fitness shoes. The brand avoids being overly promotional, but shows users its products in action.

Don’t be afraid to sell and use Snapchat as a unique promotional funnel.

7. Don’t Pretend to Be Something Else

Lastly, it’s critical to keep your brand values, voice and beliefs true on Snapchat. When a new social media channel comes out, it’s easy to follow the pack on trends and content. However, no matter the demographic of your audience on the network, don’t fool them into thinking you’re something else.

What this means is to stick to your core company values. If you see a brand like Sour Patch Kids doing weird and funny content on Snapchat, you don’t have to follow suit. Instead, harmonize your social media content across all channels and effectively manage your followers.

Use tools like Sprout’s social media monitoring tools to track, measure and analyze what users say about your brand on social. While Snapchat isn’t currently integrated in Sprout, you can use our tools to filter incoming messages from Twitter and Instagram about your Snapchat content.

Get your social media organized and on track for success with a free 30-day trial.

This post How to Use Snapchat: 7 Must-Read Tips for 2017 originally appeared on Sprout Social.

from SM Tips By Minnie http://sproutsocial.com/insights/how-to-use-snapchat/

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rabbitcruiser · 2 years

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Spider-Man Day

How will you celebrate Spider-Man Day on August 1? It’s important to remember one thing: with great power comes great responsibility. Now, you, a Spider-Man fanatic, have all the power in the world to celebrate one of the most iconic comic-book superheroes of all time whichever way you want to, so don’t take this responsibility lightly. This is your gift and your curse!

Created by Steve Dikto and Stan Lee, Spider-Man is Marvel Comics most iconic character for the past 59 years. For all true fans of the web-slinger, August 1, 2021 is the day on which you can appreciate what Spider-Man has brought to your lives.

Social media platforms are inundated right now with posts utilizing the #NationalSpiderManDay hashtag to honor the famous Marvel superhero.

However, you chose to celebrate Spider-Man Day 2021 don’t forget to share your thoughts with us.

When is Spider-Man Day 2022?

“Spider-Man! Spider-Man! Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!” is celebrated on Spider-Man Day on August 1, 2022.

History of Spider-Man Day

Everyone loves Spider-Man. And how can we not? Spider-Man entered the comic-book universe in issue 15 of Marvel Comics’ “Amazing Fantasy” in August 1962 and has been a major player ever since. The groundbreaking story caught the attention of readers when it featured an awkward, antisocial teenager as its superhero — a description typically associated with sidekicks. But this bold move turned out to be a boon for creator Stan Lee, who touched the hearts of a generation of kids who felt lonely, rejected, or had difficulty making friends. Spider-Man proved that anyone can be a superhero and, even after being around for about 60 years, he’s still as popular as ever.

Spider-Man got his own comic series, “The Amazing Spider-Man,” in March 1963. The titular character rose to popularity and quickly became integral in the ever-expanding Marvel Universe, engaging with regularly featured characters like the Human Torch, the Incredible Hulk, and Daredevil. The supporting characters in the Spider-Man world were equally interactive and colorful, enthralling readers who developed soft spots for them. This includes J. Jonah Jameson, the anti-Spider-Man editor-in-chief for the “Daily Bugle” newspaper, Spider-Man’s love interests Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson, and costumed villains like Doctor Octopus, the Green Goblin, and Venom.

Spider-Man became a fast-expanding franchise, his heroics no longer able to be contained in single monthly issues. Spidey’s frequent crossover storylines with other Marvel characters led to the creation of the bimonthly series “Marvel Team-Up” in March 1972, which ran for 150 issues. Spider-Man teamed up with nearly every high-profile superhero in the Marvel Universe in this ongoing series.

“Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man” was the fourth installment comic series of Spider-Man’s continuing adventures. It debuted in December 1976 and ended after 263 issues. One of the most memorable events of this era was Peter’s marriage to Mary Jane Watson.

We all know Spider-Man is fast, but his momentum in the comic world was soon noticed by Hollywood as well. Sony Entertainment purchased the rights to Spider-Man, and brought him to the big screen in May 2002 with the movie “Spider-Man.” With Tobey Maguire playing the friendly neighborhood superhero, the Spider-Man movies paved the way for the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the superhero movie genre. “Spider-Man 2” was released in 2004 and broke box-office records, followed by “Spider-Man 3” in 2007, which ended Director Sam Raimi’s trilogy. The franchise was rebooted five years later, with “The Amazing Spider-Man” in 2012, starring Andrew Garfield.

Next, Spider-Man made his debut in the Marvel Cinematic Universe in the third act of “Captain America: Civil War” (2016). Young actor Tom Holland breathed life into the web-slinger, who had been neglected due to the ongoing legal issues and character rights between Sony Entertainment and Marvel Studios. The latest Marvel movies featuring Spider-Man are worldwide blockbusters “Avengers: Infinity War” (2018) and “Spider-Man: Far From Home” (2019).

Spider-Man Day timeline

1962 A Hero is Born

Stan Lee comes up with the idea for Spider-Man and the character first appears in a comic as a supporting character.

1963 First Independent Comic

Spider-Man gets his own comic, "The Amazing Spider-Man".

2002 Spider-Man Goes to Hollywood

Spider-Man gets his own movie franchise ("Spider-Man") starring Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, and James Franco.

2010 Broadway Special

"Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark" debuts on Broadway in NYC.

2012 Meet the New Spidey!

"The Amazing Spider-Man" starring Andrew Garfield premieres, followed by a sequel ("The Amazing Spider-Man 2") in 2014.

2017 Third Time’s the Charm

"Spider-Man: Homecoming" premieres, starring the new Spider-Man, Tom Holland.

Traditions

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is celebrated with exciting events, movie marathons, and trading of collectible comic book issues featuring the superhero. Spider-Man gets the approval of both kids and adults, which makes him so likable and relatable. Kids don their Spider-Man costumes and toy web slingers, whereas grown-up enthusiasts wear more elaborate costumes to celebrate events and parties.

Spider-Man comic books that are rare and collectible are traded and sold. Special issues are also available at some comic book stores. With the release of the latest Spider-Man video game, gamers and online streamers host playthrough sessions of the latest and older Spider-Man games. Today is also the day where traditionally we see many masked marauders make news headlines around the world as they attempt to climb walls and buildings — but don’t try this at home (or anywhere for that matter), kids!

Spider-Man Day By The Numbers

10 tons – the weight that Spider-Man can bench press.

200 mph – the top speed at which Spider-Man can run.

#15 – the issue number of the “Amazing Fantasy” comic book that Spider-Man first appeared in.

2002 – the year in which the Spider-Man movie franchise was released.

#290 – the comic issue of “The Amazing Spider-Man” in which the superhero married Mary Jane.

1963 – the year when Spider-Man’s first solo title “The Amazing Spider-man (Vol. 1)” appeared on shelves.

700th – the issue number at which Volume 1 of “The Amazing Spider-Man” ended in December 2012.

8 – the total number of Spider-Man cartoon series.

1 hour – the time it takes for Spider-Man’s web to dissolve.

250 – the IQ level of Peter Parker.

Spider-Man Day Activities

Have a Spider-Man movie marathon

Throw a Spider-Man party

Parkour!

Depending how far back in time you want to go and which producers/directors you prefer, you could easily spend an entire day watching movie adaptations of Spider-Man comics. Perhaps you and your friends could watch and compare the latest releases, both Spider-Man and The Amazing Spider-Man and discuss which version is better.

Invite your friends over, decorate the house and get the silly string web-slinging devices ready 'cause it’s party time! To really make your party stand out, try some Spidey-themed food like deviled eggs with paprika shaken into the shape of a spider. To keep the adults happy, try making the Spider-Man cocktail mixed with cherry and raspberry liqueurs, tequila and a sprinkling of pop rocks.

Ever wanted to leap and fly like Spider-Man? While swinging through New York City with a series of webs isn’t quite realistic, the growing trend of parkour can be done, right here and now. A mix of gymnastics and dancing, building up your parkour skills means flipping, sliding and jumping through the city just like Spidey.

5 Super Facts About Spider-Man

Spider-Man was originally Fly-Man

The only spider people like

It’s in the name

Venom was born from fanfiction

Changing times

Initially, Stan Lee wanted to create a superhero based on a fly or insect.

Head of Marvel Comics, Martin Goodman disapproved of the concept of Spider-Man due to the fact that most people hate spiders.

Stan Lee specifically placed a hyphen in Spider-Man’s name to avoid confusion between ‘Spiderman’ and ‘Superman’ as the latter was rather popular at the time.

Spider-Man’s nemesis Venom was created as fan fiction, and purchased by Marvel for $220.

Spider-Man is the first independent teenage superhero who was not a sidekick to an adult superhero.

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