#I sure hope this posts because I am Not relinked all of these

[icharchivist]

I hope and fear in equal measures that someone is gonna post a Let's Play of Relink so I can see it but also if it's some mainstream Let's Player who knows nothing about Gbf, that would be truly terrifying

"Game Grumps Play Relink" popped into my mind and gave me like 50 hp psych dmg

NO FUCK THAT'S TERRIFYING

I personally planned on streaming it on twitch when i play it but this will come with its own type of downsides and it will be best to find some let's player;

i'm sure some of our hardcore gbf players will work on that, so at least on a small scale i believe it'll be easy to find

but yeah. I'm terrified about Granblue's entry into the mainstream.

Relink has made a lot of buzz and a lot of people - who knows nothing about Granblue - have been having their eyes on Relink because it looks cool, and it scares me so damn much.

I know i should be happy my niche interest is going to have more people invested and all... but i'm not, it feels wrong, and i've already seen so much stuff i disliked when gbvs came out that i don't trust the mainstream audience to intereact with my beloved. (+ there's the major risk that any characters who appear in Relink will be misinterpreted by casual audiences who don't know the main game and i'm not strong enough about it)

but if i really express those thoughts i'd be called a gatekeeper. which would be true. But i don't want to be one. People might also end up genuinely connecting with the world's universe and decide to explore it more in depth. that would be nice.

but all i'll do is mumbles in my corner like an hermit, and just hoping that people won't believe that Relink is a representation of the whole franchise (as in like. Having the grace to admit they don't have the full context on characters and stuff before discussing it yaknow).

But yeah personally i've been terrified about Granblue's entry into the mainstream but i'm trying really hard to not think about it much and stay in my lane grumbling in my corner about it like the old hermit i am.

The idea of a big mainstream streamer playing it tho. terrifying. god.

[gottagobuycheese]

Tag Thingy

Thanks @silent--sonata for indulging my terrible sleeping habits XD

(fyi this will probably be unnecessarily long and rambly, so it’s going under a cut (EDIT: whelp the song list got a little out of hand, I’d apologize if I were even remotely sorry)) 

Rules: Answer 17 questions & tag 17 people you want to get to know better  

Nickname: Cheese (or Lactose Wedge, or Dairy Product of Unspecified Origin and Purpose)

Zodiac Sign: Gemini! 

Height: 160.5 cm/5′3″ (Bubbles I refuse to believe you’re actually that much taller than me) 

Hogwarts house: Somewhere between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff allegedly, both of which I’d be honored to get sorted into, but honestly I’d just be stoked to get sorted at all 

Last thing I googled: I think it was something along the lines of “how to speed up audio playback in GarageBand,” but but my train of thought was derailed before I actually looked at any of the results so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (and on a related note, thanks again for the magical audio editing @imperiousheiress!)

Song stuck in my head: The end credits to Legacy of the Wizard (which is SUCH a jam, thank you for enlightening me @jessicafish) Following and followers: 227 (goodness just looking at that number is stress-inducing) and...104?! When the HECK did you all get here??? I think just last summer I was happily floating about in the 50′s. Anyways, to anyone I have not said hello, hello! Hope you enjoy your stay, and I am sincerely sorry if you expected Quality Original Content, or even just regularly scheduled other people’s content. Sadly, neither of these things tend to happen here. 

Amount I sleep: During the school year it’s usually anywhere between 30 minutes and 6 hours (DON’T EVEN START BUBBLES YOU HAVE NO RIGHT), usually landing in the 3/4 hour ranges if I’m smart about it, but now that I am on Unofficial Break, it’s usually at least around 6 hours (except today was 3 because Avatar is an excellent show and the weirdos in this house have regularly scheduled breakfast at 9-something every morning). Sadly my sleep schedule can only be forced to tolerate normalcy for so long before careening back in the other direction, so we’ll see if this is just a blip or if we’re back to normal mid-Atlantic Ocean hours!

Lucky number(s): I wouldn’t say these are necessarily favorite numbers, but I do like 2 and 9. But come to think of it, second attempts at Official Things do tend to go better for me than first attempts, so maybe there’s some merit there after all! Dream Job: Don’t think I’m really cut out for dreaming anymore, haha (unless you are a theoretical future employer in which case I am Extremely Full of Ambition and Passion). The bed-adjacent metaphor has been made, and not to brag, but I can sleep on pretty much any surface. Currently studying my Not Favorite aspect of STEM (was there ever a favorite or did I just like being good at things sometimes) and learning how to People™ properly (and also learning a gazillion convoluted drug names like what the heck dude, did you just fall asleep on your typewriter coming up with these), so I’ll take whatever place hires me and pays me enough not to depend on my parents for everything, I suppose. In an ideal world, that would entail a job where I could make friends, and even more importantly, a job where my shortcomings would not cause Massive and Irreparable Harm, but I don’t think this line of work really meshes with that last one, so I guess I’ll either have to get my shit together™ extremely soon or fake my death, adopt an alias, and flee to a completely new place with no ties whatsoever before trying to get another, less high stakes job. 

(Though I guess, less cynically, I like helping people well enough? And stories are fun! Maybe there could’ve been something with that. Not that there still can’t be, mind, but there’s still a long way to go between Here and There)

Wearing: Black shorts. Navy t-shirt. Brown some-specific-kind-of-jacket-I-forgot-the-name-of jacket. Is it summer? Is it fall? Am I in middle school? Who can say, but they are COMFY so sadly I have no cares to give

Favourite song(s): way way WAY too many to list here, and I do not have them all organized in a handy playlist separately, but to name a few (and these are not necessarily the MOST favorite okay, it doesn’t mean I don’t love stuff not on this list, it means you can’t force me to pick between my children and I am going to find at least one quick thing from a few things I like before I need to hit post and go back to looking like I’m being studious, and also things I think you should listen to right now, but for everything I’ve linked assuming I mean the whole OST), here’s a spam of links in no particular order: 

LoZ Wind Waker - The Great Sea (aka the epitome of optimism) 

Undertale - NGAHHH!! (I was about to link more but then I realized it’d be the whole soundtrack lol) 

LoZ Breath of the Wild - Hateno Village (Night) 

A:tLA - Peace (bad call BAD CALL NOW I HAVE EMOTIONS) 

Legend of Korra - Final Scene/Ending Theme (MISTAKES WERE MADE MISTAKES WERE MADE) 

Kung Fu Panda - Oogway Ascends (I feel like I’m taking you on a whole little album journey now XD) 

PMD: Explorers of Sky - Dialga’s Fight to the Finish (aka the Gotta Shower Fast song) 

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Pursuit ~ Cornered (aka the HURRY UP AND PACK UR SHIT YOUR FLIGHT LEAVES IN THREE HOURS song) 

Apollo Justice: A New Trial Is In Session (very underrated soundtrack imo) and also Apollo Justice: Telling the Truth (because these two are very closely associated in my head and it’s getting harder and harder to narrow things down so maybe I should stop lol) 

Your Name: Katawaredoki (in which I am forcibly thrown heart first into the bedroom of my second apartment at approximately 12-something A.M.) 

Digimon Adventure 01: Butterfly (MASSIVE 90′s childhood anime feels, and also Last Summer Before Everything Went to Shit feels (on a general scale I mean, not personal)) 

Pokémon: Lugia’s Song multitrack cover by Jordan Moore (would that I could have a talent of that musical talent) 

Pokémon the First Movie: Tears of Life (great now I’m on a Pokémon music spiral GUESS IT’S CHILDHOOD NOSTALGIA HOURS NOW) 

PMD: Blue Rescue Team - Farewell and Run Away/Fugitives (you CANNOT make me choose between these guys okay, my brain WILL explode, and whoops now I want to link the whole ost) 

Palette by A Dear Friend (wink wonk) 

Pokémon: Alpha Sapphire - Fortree City (wow talk about mood whiplash)

Detective Conan: Main Theme (I can’t find the specific version since there are so many, but it’s a Good Theme) 

Super Smash Bros.: Brawl - Opening Theme 

Pokémon Colosseum - Relic Forest 

Song for Lindsay by Andrew Boysen Jr. (oh great now it’s time for marching band feelings I guess)

Mt. Everest by Rossano Galante 

Deltarune - Field of Hopes and Dreams and A Town Called Hometown (orchestrated) (aka the Lots of Work To Do song) and You Can Always Come Home and Don’t Forget (hey guess what I wrote a bunch of fake extra verses for) (also it looks my pathetic attempts at narrowing things down are getting even more pathetic so I’ll wrap up soon XD) 

 Guild Wars 2 - Fear Not This Night (never actually played this myself but my friend got me addicted to the music) 

Lord of the Rings - May It Be (Enya) (aaaand now I miss choir, THANKS BUBBLES) 

Lion King - Can You Feel the Love Tonight (Multilingual) by Travys Kim (aka how I remembered how fun these things are) 

Original Song by Anonymous  

(The urge to add all the other songs I’m not adding is so strong but I’ve got so much work to do so just assume I mean all Nintendo music from any game I’ve played, all Ghibli movie music, every musical I’ve ever heard, and even more) 

Random fact:

Apparently as early as the 17th century, you could guess that a child would have a shortened life span if their foreheads tasted salty. Yes, there is a specific reason, and yes, you may already know what it is, and thankfully no, that life span projection no longer holds true, assuming access to Modern Medicine! 

Favourite Authors: Okay I have not read enough various books of enough various authors to be able to answer this, so I’m just gonna go with a few books instead. They are not necessarily all-time favorites, but I enjoyed reading them very much at the time and more often than not go back to them for comfort reads: The Martian, any of first three Harry Potter books, and The Rise of Kiyoshi. (That last one’s not really a comfort read but I am drowning in Loving Kiyoshi juice so here we are)

Favourite Animal Noises: Certain kinds of birds (UNLESS it’s some ungodly hour of the morning and you’re trying to sleep)? Ooh, and crickets! 

Aesthetic: A slob, but like...a comfy slob. An incredibly disorganized hermit who is happy to mill about in the uncontrolled entropy. (Are we talking about what aesthetic I give off, or what I like to look at, visually? Because I like space, and water, and mountains, and forests, and forests ON mountains, OOH and forests on mountains at night where you can see space, perhaps reflected in a body of water. Or just water, idk. Different things are pretty to look at at different times)

WELL THAT ONLY TOOK FOREVER SORRY FOR THE OBSCENE LENGTH 

@pachelbelsheadcanon @averybritishbumblebee @shingeki-no-korra @sailorlock @yeswevegotavideo @soultheta @queenerdloser @ifeelbetterer @rogueofdragons @peppervl @amadness2method @mutalune and anybody else who wants to do this! This isn’t seventeen, and I don’t know if any of you have already done it/been tagged, but I hear people moving around upstairs so that means this break is over XD. And ABSOLUTELY no pressure to actually do this, this is pretty much just me wishing you well! (and YOU of course, my dear reader! I hope everything’s going all right, or if it’s not, that it does soon)

[yougotta]

I’ve been on the fence about posting this for a while but I’ve been wanting to share some of my writing for some time so here it is, this was my solo theatre piece I wrote and performed for my final IB theatre assessment. I had to choose a theatre theorist to base it on and I chose Jerzy Grotowski, hence why I talk about him so much in it

writing is difficult

 writing is about accuracy

starting over with accuracy

starting... over with accuracy

 writing is… difficult for me.

the words don’t come-

 *stop, take a breath. start over.*

 writing is difficult for me.

the words don’t come out the way I want them to

i’m a perfectionist

i struggle often to find the right word to say

I get so caught up in trying to figure out how to say a sentence exactly the way I want it

I’ll get hung up for hours or days or weeks, just because of one stupid word

because writing is about accuracy.

 anne carson says it better: “we’re talking about the struggle to drag a thought over from the mush of the unconscious into some kind of grammar, syntax, human sense; every attempt means starting over with language. starting over with accuracy. i mean, every thought starts over, so every expression of a thought has to do the same. every accuracy has to be invented. . . . i feel i am blundering in concepts too fine for me.”

 i feel I am blundering in concepts too fine for me…

i feel like that often.

all the time, really.

i’m not a very confident person

some people are surprised by that

 i started to take an interest in photography

you don’t need words to take pictures.

there’s no such thing as a perfect photo

and even though i’m a perfectionist,

there’s something about knowing that that’s liberating to me.

 there’s no right or wrong way to do it,

no rules

so you just take the pictures you like

the ones you think are pretty.

 i use my camera in burst mode

my camera is able to take 4.5 pictures per second

that’s 9 every 2 seconds

270 a minute

16,200 an hour

 fast enough to document every single second of a human life almost five times over

 the average human lifespan is 71 years

if i held a camera on someone from birth to death,

that would be 10,075,752,000 photos.

i used a calculator for all those, i don’t just have them memorized

 sometimes people tell me i take too many photos

maybe they’re right

i mean the last time i went out to take photos for a show

i ended up with 1,792 after only an hour and a half

but i’m afraid if i don’t photograph everything

  i’m going to forget.

  when i get older, i want to keep picture albums full of all my photos

just like my mom did

so i can look back on them and remember everything

 i hate losing photos of things

after my ex-boyfriend broke up with me

i went and deleted all the photos i had of us together.

  is it strange that

even though i hate him now

it still makes me sad that i have no pictures of us together anymore?

 even though i don’t miss him, i wish i hadn’t deleted the photos

it feels like for all that relationship hurt me and changed me,

i have nothing to show for it

no proof at all

even the bad memories i want to keep

to remind myself they made me into who i am today.

 this isn’t me playing a character

this is really me saying all this

   hi

 when i got older i started to discover acting

it became an escape for me

it was nice to

get to pretend to be a different person for a while

and words are easier to say

when they come from someone else

 but grotowski

wants me to just be myself

he wants me to get rid of my bag of tricks

and just be vulnerable

and be sincere

and that scares me

 because if i just be myself onstage

then everyone will see the me that i’ve been trying for years to hide

the facade i’ve built will be shattered

the curtain flung wide open

  how am i supposed to be me

when i’ve spent the better part of my life trying to be someone i’m not?

 i’m terrified of exposing myself like that

laying the real me bare

but i think that’s also why i chose grotowski

because i want to stop pretending.

it’s time for me to start being honest

 to myself

  and everyone else.

 hi.

i’m eighteen years old.

i’m a senior in high school.

my favorite color is purple

i have severe depression

i didn’t get accepted to college

i overshare all the time

i have an extreme inferiority complex to my brother

my favorite food is strawberries!

   ...i’m sorry

this is depressing

but that’s who i am

i’m a pretty depressing person

 woo!

  writing is difficult

i learned to love writing as a child

but as i got older i started to forget

 grotowski believes the same is true of our bodies

we lose our childlike lack of inhibitions

we start to disconnect

think too much

we stop ourselves from moving before we do

grotowski asks us to reconnect

relink our internal impulses with our external impulses

and find feeling through them

 go back to when we were children again

and a stick could be a sword

or a horse

or an ocean liner

 we still knew it was a stick

we just transformed our interpretation of what we were seeing

 This is where stopped being sure of what to say.

I mean

I wrote some other stuff but I'm not sure if I like it or not yet.

My friend told me to keep this in.

 it’s- it’s funny

when i was younger i was always so sure of who i was

when i was in kindergarten i was sure i would be a teacher

when i was in first grade i was positive i would be an astronaut.

in second grade i decided i would be a writer

in third grade i was certain i wanted to be a veterinarian.

in fourth grade i was set on becoming a computer scientist

and in fifth grade i was convinced i wanted to be a photographer.

now i’m about to graduate and start my career

and i have no idea what i really want to do

 even though it changed so often i never doubted myself

i always knew that that was what i would be

i knew who i was at that moment

 where did i lose the plot along the way?

when did we learn to doubt ourselves?

 i don’t know

i’m not going to pretend that i do know

i’m not writing this hoping to get any answers

  i read this book by anne carson recently

(sorry to bring her up again)

(i’ve just been thinking about her a lot lately)

it’s called autobiography of red

it’s about a gay photographer growing up

and dealing with the aftermath or a horrible breakup

and coming to terms with himself

 sound familiar?

 my mom and i both read the book around the same time

i didn’t like the ending--

it felt like it just stopped mid-poem

i turned the page expecting there to be more--

wanting there to be more--

but there wasn’t

 my mom said she loved the end though

it was her favorite part

she saw it as a metaphor for persistence and creativity

  i think maybe the reason why i didn’t like the ending

was because i saw myself in the main character

i was hoping to find an ending to my own story

an uplifting ending where the protagonist learns to love himself, finds love, becomes successful, lives happily ever after

 but real life doesn’t work that way

i’m not going to find all the answers i’m looking for in a

book of poetry based on ancient greek myths

 the reason it felt to me like the book ended so suddenly

that there should be more

was because his story

his life

isn’t over yet

 and neither is mine.

 i’m still just getting started

i’m only in the exposition phase

i’ve heard the whole story is a pretty great read

and so i should stop trying to skip to the end.

 Writing is…