#I think I'll be vetting him until the day I die tbh

[forwomenbiwomen]

please excuse me 😭🙏

[jayteacups]

Just found this blog and ur already one of my faves! Could you match up the 104th the vets, and the warriors with a quote from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? One of my favorite pastimes is to watch out of context compilations of it.

Hello anon! I'm so flattered you're enjoying my blog <3

ofc I can! I've never actually seen It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia so I searched up a list of quotes and went from there 🙈 hope they match! I have no context for any of these quotes lol so I’m sorry if these may seem out of place a little. but these quotes were absolutely hilarious i may check this show out one day lol

AOT x It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Levi - “If you’re dealt a bunch of lemons, you got to take those lemons, and stuff them down somebody’s throat until they see yellow.” Alternative: “I’m relaxing, I’m getting blackout drunk, and you’re leaving me alone.” Alternative alternative: “That is about as low-brow as it gets.”

Erwin - “I don’t appreciate being paraphrased. Now, I choose my words very deliberately.” Alternative: “I will make it work because I'm a genius.” (people then proceed to die.) 

Hange - “My nose was chiseled by the Gods themselves, Frank.” Alternative: “When we get out of this, I'm gonna shove my fist right into your ass, hard and fast...Not in the sexual way! In the 'I am pissed off' sort of way.”

Eren - “I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge.” (Eren describing his time in Marley be like) Alternative: “You guys all better eat a dick, ’cause sweet Eren just beat the system.”

Mikasa - “We used to be losers, like all of you people.” alternatively “Just so I’m clear, you don’t actually think things are going to come alive because you’re spending the night in a museum, right?”

Armin - “We’re gonna get all in your face and point out your faults.” Alternative: “See, I’ve always got an A, B and C strike plan to get us out of any potentially life-threatening situation.” (those plans then proceed to fail and he has to come up with plan D on the spot) 

Jean - “Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies?” Alternative: “Oh whoops, ooh! I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong!” 

Sasha - “So you saw me eat that Hot Pocket I found in the garbage?” Alternative: “Out of my way, I’ve broken my water. There’s a baby inside of me running out of water.” Alternative alternative: “Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?”

Connie - “Let me tell you something. I haven’t even begun to peak. And when I do peak, you’ll know. Because I’m gonna peak so hard that everybody in Philadelphia’s gonna feel it.” Alternatively: “I eat stickers all the time, dude!” Alternatively alternatively: “__, if I was looking for safe I wouldn't be sticking my dick through a wall.” (Many of the quotes that I found did all scream Connie tbh it was hard not to give him a whole list) OK LAST ONE FOR CONNIE “People change, Jean. Look at me: I went from a tiny twink to the muscle-bound freak you see before you.” (Connie after his growth spurt be like) 

Sasha and Connie because they hold one braincell between the two of them: [Holding a calculator] “What are you?”

Historia - “And although I seem relaxed, I’m actually incredibly tense at all times.” Alternative: “Having those other people laugh tells me when I should laugh.” 

Ymir - “Your mother is dead! HA!” / “No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.” (you can’t tell me ymir wouldn’t love ‘your mum’ jokes - because it’s not like they can turn the tables, she’d be like ‘lol what mum’) Alternatively “And then he smells crime again, he's out busting heads. Then he's back to the lab for some more full penetration. Smells crime. Back to the lab, full penetration. Crime. Penetration. Crime. Full penetration. Crime. Penetration. And this goes on and on and back and forth for 90 or so minutes until the movie just sort of ends.”

Marco - “What is this word ‘spa?’ I feel like you’re starting to say a word and you’re not finishing it. Are you trying to say spaghetti? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day?” 

Reiner - “It turns out I am – I am too muscular, and I can’t fit through.” (no explanation needed) Alternatively “I’m not gonna be buried in a grave. When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash.” (this one SCREAMS reiner lol) Alternatively alternatively: “I’ll just regress because I feel I’ve made myself perfectly redundant.”

Bertholdt - “Talking to myself, but that’s just ’cause I, you know, I’ve got shit to say, you know?” 

Annie - “I am going to smack everyone into tiny little pieces.” Alternative: “I’m not asking you to do much. Just turn a blind eye while I rob this place stupid.” (This also fits well for ACWNR Levi tbh) Alternative alternative: “IDIOTS! SAVAGES! IDIOTS! IDIOTS!” (Annie to her fellow Warriors - mostly Reiner - at any given moment) 

Zeke - Therapist: "Being comfortable in your own skin is never a bad thing."Zeke: "Okay, so, if I got more skin or something, then I could never do a bad thing in my life, and, maybe, I've never done a bad thing 'cause I have a lot of skin." (Zeke trying to justify his actions be like) 

Pieck - (omg why was she so hard to match up a quote for) “Do not plug an open wound with trash.” (thank u Pieck very helpful) Alternatively: “We set the building on fire, you just happened to catch on fire!” 

Porco - “Who am I supposed to vote for? Am I supposed to vote for the Democrat who’s gonna blast me in the ass or the Republican who’s blasting my ass?” (I don’t know why but I feel like this is something he’d say during election season lmao) Alternative: “This sucks. This sucks a bag of dicks.”

Gabi - “Well, maybe you’re a whore, you stupid, ugly, homeless bitch!” (Gabi to Eren at any given point, ever)  

Falco - “Oh my God! I will...I will smash your face into- into a jelly!”

Bonus

Kenny - “I don’t wanna be his friend, I wanna shoot him in the face.” (and he will.) alternatively: “I hate listening to people's dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don't care.” Alternative alternative: “It's when you drink so much that everything goes brown. It's not as severe as a black out because I remember bits and pieces. I call it browning out.” 

Floch/Yelena - “If you’re in my room, you’re always being filmed”