#incorrect quotes

[incorrectbatfam]

[Wayne Enterprises Zoom call]

Bruce: Team, please come into the office at least once a year. Just check in. When we were fully remote, we found out that Tim had been working while he was locked up by the League of Assassins. I mean, his Wi-Fi was incredible.

[cod-dump]

Ghost, gleefully: This is the best day of my life

Graves: *runs past screaming*

Alejandro: *following close behind cussing him out*

Ghost as Graves screams: So beautiful

Price, walking in: What's with the yelling- VARGAS DO NOT-

Rudy: DON'T TOUCH MY HUSBAND

Ghost, as they start to fight behind him: BEST DAY EVER

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

*141 finding Y/N* Price: They look like someone's medic, maybe we should put out a missing persons Ghost: Yeah it should have a big picture of them and the words 'is this your medic? Not anymore' Y/N: :)

[pjotwitter]

[unfortunatelyem]

part one

[intimidating-fettuccine]

[At New Years]

Jeff: I would like to offer a toast.

Jeff: I cannot believe we’ve already gone through another 12 months of absolute fuckery, and have to do it again.

Jeff: Cheers boys.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Eddie: I need to start the new year with the right foot. Somebody kiss me, it's midnight. Somebody kiss me, it's midnight. Somebody kiss-

Buck: Alright, alright, alright!

*Buck grabs Eddie's face and kisses him*

Buck: There!

Eddie: Oh...

Eddie, blushing: Oh!

[reblog-spam-assassin]

This is fucking hilarious.🤣🤣🤣

Y/N: They hate our strategies because we're dating !

Ghost: ...

Ghost: We're not dating.

Price: YOU'RE NOT ?!

Y/N: *getting off Ghost's lap* we're not ?!

[incorrectbatfam]

What is everyone in the Batfam thankful for this year?

Alfred: An entire week without someone dying and resurrecting.

Selina: Marrying a nepo baby.

Bruce: Being a nepo baby.

Luke: GPS trackers for when one of you inevitably take my suit for a joyride.

Harper: A single college credit in chocolate tasting.

Carrie: Harper's leftover homework.

Bette: Moving into a new apartment farther from you people.

Helena: Squid Game season 2.

Barbara: uBlock.

Damian: Cats.

Dick: HOT TO GO.

Cass: Wicked.

Tim: A boyfriend with an espresso machine.

Steph: Batburgers 2-for-1.

Kate: Women.

Cullen: When We Were Young.

Duke: Bees.

Jason: Luigi.

[incorrect-deadboy-quotes]

Charles: I put a little note in your bag to tell you that I love you. Edwin, opening his bag: This is a 10 page letter.

[headcanonthings]

Bernard: You ever dip your entire oreo in milk except for the part where you're holding it and feel like Thetis dipping newborn Achilles into the river Styx leaving him invulnerable everywhere except for his heel? Tim: Yes Ives: Ives: You two freaks were made for each other

[profoundlyfaded]

Now wouldn’t that be a line?

‘What are you? The elven God of Sunken Cost Fallacy?’

‘Poor planning, and rituals gone bad, depending on the story.’

Goddess of Self-Righteousness and God of Sunken Cost Fallacy.

[percyweasleyapologist]

Remus: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, ver proficient at being depressed.

[aphwaph]

she's just like me fr

[mkarchin713]

Clark: I was exposed to pink kryptonite!

bruce: do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

clark, nursing his very first hangover after getting black out drunk the night before: …it was autocorrect.

bruce: autocorrect wrote “you’re so hot. please step on me.”?

clark: ..yes…