#I wanted them to talk a little since Balam cares for Dan and stuff

[terraclae]

The King of Paramo

Lore pings: @yuushanoah-fr @cityofinoue

A sort of short one! All dragons are in their bipedal form as usual.

He threaded the hallways of the ship far too carefully. Arodan had accidentally scared a few already by walking up to them silently. Right now he was only quiet because he didn’t intend to wake the sleeping people in a boat that creaked at all opportunities. In the semi dark he couldn’t see a lot outside of the glowing charm that hung from his wrist and he let Mimir soothe his other worries, the book open in his hands.

What is it you’re so afraid of?

‘I thought it was obvious.’ Arodan whispered, holding Mimir close enough so he could keep his voice to an impossibly low volume. ‘It’s dark. I’m on yet another boat. Yet another shade ridden figure who my or may not be a nut job.’

And that is really what is making you so frightful?

He paused. If he didn’t know any better Mimir had started to get far too good at guessing what he felt. ‘I’m the one who has to fix this. I chose this.’

You could have said no.

‘I didn’t want to.’ He arrived by the door to his cabin. He knew he had left his keys in some deep pocket of the coat Atlas had left for him but he couldn’t find it. ‘I’m part of these people.’

Mimir didn’t respond. This was fine with Arodan, it allowed him to close them and search his pockets better. Hopefully he wouldn’t get a response until he had freshened himself up properly. Right now his head wasn’t in the right place.

‘You’re not going mad, are you?’

He was as jumpy as he was tired and before Arodan spoke he had already jumped into a defensive stance and pulled a dagger from his coat. His entire being shook like the boat was going to give out under him. Before him wasn’t an enemy he had thought to see, but instead, shrouded by the shadows, he saw the hulking form of Balam. It occurred to him he must look positively insane now. ‘... Sir?’

Balam blinked a few times, bright blue eyes flitting in the dark. He had never seen Balam this hesitant, it was obvious despite the cover of the dark. ‘Is this a bad time?’

‘No.’ Arodan quickly pocketed the dagger and in doing so found his keys. ‘I’d appreciate it however if you wouldn’t sneak up on me, my liege.’ He mustered a polite smile to greet Balam more openly. ‘How do you even do that?’

Balam didn’t answer. By the way the light reflected on his horns Arodan knew he was shaking his head and his smile fell. He was taken aback more once Balam moved out into the light and revealed a beaten form that didn’t radiate the cheerful calm that was inherent to Balam. ‘My liege, huh?’ He tilted his head and then bowed it so his eyes disappeared into the dark. ‘... Would you mind if I came in?’

‘Into- Into my room?’

‘... Yes?’

Well, it wasn’t weird of Balam to ask to come in. Arodan didn’t know however how he was going to offer any words of comfort to Balam that wouldn’t make the situation worse. Silence could be equally bad. Slowly he pulled his keys from his pocket and unlocked the door, stepping in first. He gestured for Balam to come in, wordlessly.

Balam didn’t quite fit through the cabin door. His horns dented part of the frame and Arodan had to stop himself from taking Balam’s arm and pulling him through already. Somehow the massive man forced himself through and stood bent with his head against the ceiling of the room. Before Arodan could stop himself this time, he asked ‘Why don’t you just shift to a smaller form?’

Balam closed the door with his tail and sat on the floor, not meeting Arodan’s gaze. He didn’t look annoyed or surprised, Instead his brow was furrowed in a way it seemed to compact his eyes. ‘I’m not very good at it. This is as small as I can shift.’ He quietly started. ‘Is it an issue?’

‘No. Not at all.’ Arodan repeated. He chose to plop down on his bed and felt a quiet tight uncertainty rising in his throat. His thumb found his journal’s spine to rub, his other hand the bedsheet, and his eyes surveyed Balam. ‘Sir…’ Balam seemed to have been treated for a wound on his lower stomach he tentatively soothed with his hand. Mentally he looked to be more weathered. Arodan took particular note of his tired eyes. The skin around one was bruised blue as blended with his dark eyebags. He sat in the corner like a broken man, and Arodan didn’t have to ask if Balam felt okay.

‘Arodan, how do you feel about all of this?’

He perked up. Balam looked at him directly and Arodan couldn’t feel smaller than he already did. ‘I’m… It’s difficult for all of us. I wish I could have done more.’ The bedsheet was uncomfortably coarse against his fingers and the tight feeling in his throat grew only heavier. ‘I wish things didn’t go this way.’

‘I see.’ Balam hummed. Arodan grew only more nervous and he really didn’t know what he could possibly say to Balam now.

‘Sir-‘

‘Please just call me Balam.’ Balam interrupted Arodan with a voice that wavered and hitched as he spoke. His eye met Arodan’s and he managed to crack a smile. ‘I’m no king of yours.’ His gaze drifted to the side and he had a glazed look to his eyes. ‘I’m no king of anyone, so, we are true equals now. Isn’t it great?’

Arodan gave pause and he came to fidget with his journal instead. ‘Okay, Balam.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Why did you want to come into my room?’

Balam didn’t respond initially. He first occupied himself with braiding his hair that had grown significantly longer in such a short span of time. When he did it was with a sullen resignation. ‘I didn’t want to be alone, I suppose.’ He huffed lightly. ‘Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, so I didn’t know what else to do but stay in the company of someone.’ Lightly Arodan could see a healing wound on Balam’s arm. ‘So I found you, it seems.’

‘Balam-‘ Arodan got up and took the scarred arm. The wound wasn’t old and its angle didn’t look like the cleave of another’s sword. He knew that feeling too well to be comfortable with. ‘If you need to speak your mind then do so. It’s not magically going to get better if you sit in the corner of my room for the rest of this voyage.’

‘I know.’ Balam grunted. He bowed his head again and looked humbled by Arodan’s presence. ‘I failed them Arodan.’

‘This isn’t your-‘

‘It is my fault.’ Balam said. He looked at Arodan with hazy eyes and still was a great deal bigger than him sitting down. ‘That is the one thing that is truth.’ He shook his head once more. ‘What troubles me is that I have no idea how to fix this. I want to, I was responsible for these people. I made them lose everything.’

‘Okay, yes, maybe it was your fault. You were their king.’ Arodan said, regretting how rude it might sound. Balam nodded along to his statement. ‘But then again, what is wallowing going to solve? Are you giving up?’

‘Maybe.’ Balam whispered. His eyes fluttered shut. ‘What army do I have? I can’t go in and fight Alexander’s forces again. For my people I would trade my life but he has my city and I cannot risk their lives in that battle.’

‘Then we sneak in.’ Arodan said, jumping up.

‘They’d expect that.’

‘We could try.’

‘Then who do you want to sacrifice?’ Balam asked. He sounded more grim than anything now. ‘Caer is a scout. Carmen is still healing. Epoch is... dead. None of us are in a right mind to undertake such a thing.’ He shifted and it was the first time Arodan ever heard a floor creak in Balam’s presence. ‘I am not sending you either, you’d most certainly die. None of these people deserve to die.’

‘I know that too.’ Arodan held up his hands in defense. ‘But-‘

‘I said, I don’t know how to solve this, Arodan.’ Balam said with a raised voice that threatened to echo to the other cabins. He looked regretful of an outburst that had only been minuscule. ‘Please don’t make me put the lives of more people on the line.’

That ended the conversation momentarily. Arodan’s hands took to gently brushing over the skin on Balam’s arm and the king didn’t meet his eye the entire time he did. When he dared to speak it was still in hushed tone, a soft apologetic sentence. ‘Forgive me for asking this… But did you ever want to be king?’

‘So many have asked me. More must have spoken of it behind my back.’ Balam started. He looked as if he didn’t know how to answer this question. ‘I have always wanted to lead these people, but I wasn’t ready for it when I got the position. I wanted to be king but in the end I didn’t make a very good one.’ He blinked slowly. 'Love can't save a city when you're it's king.'

‘You didn’t stop being king because your city was taken over. Where I’m from we call that exile, and we can fix exile.' Arodan snapped. He shook Balam and found it was as difficult as he thought it would be to move Balam even slightly. 'Then start here. Take responsibility.'

'That, I know too.' Balam repeated himself in similar manner to Arodan. He nodded along to his statement like he had taken it to heart but his brain had yet to lead the action. 'I want to.'

'What's stopping you then?'

'Failure.'

Balam was right in doubting himself considering the last mistake he made cost him the life of someone dear to him and an entire city he cared for. Now Arodan thought of it, why didn't it bother him more? Shouldn't he be feeling more over the loss of the city? He sat down next to Balam with a quiet sigh and officially didn't know what else to tell him. The man was perhaps too stubborn.

'Arodan?'

Balam suddenly speaking to him caused him to near jump, luckily not a full on vertical leap. 'Yes?'

'I'm aware I must be very tiresome, and that I do things that upset people.' Balam started, shifting so he sat against Arodan. 'You cannot help me now, so give me time. I can't do what is asked of me now but I will soon. That I promise.'

'Well, it's an improvement.' Arodan would take a promise. That was enough. 'Why are you telling me this?'

'Because I trust you like the others. I would have told them too if they were in your position, but here you are.' Balam reached and pat Arodan's head with a fond gaze. 'You've come out of a tough spot too. We are similar, so we should look after each other. That is what I want.'

Arodan understood. He didn't nod, or say anything, but sat there and let Balam rest his hand on his head for a bit. When Balam pulled his hand back they opted to sit in silence, the only thing breaking their little balance being that Arodan offered Balam a book and took one for his own. They sat and read and he thought of how nice it would have been if he had gotten the opportunity to do so in the library. Maybe, if they reclaimed Paramo they could all sit and read. Carmen, Atlas, Caer, Langdon, Balam, they were his friends, that was truth, and he was comfortable with wishful thinking for once despite the current situation and the damage done. Balam had apparently trusted him enough to fall asleep reading the novel he had given him.

'Balam?' He gently bumped his shoulder and like with moving him Balam wasn't going to wake up either. How far exactly was he gone? 'Balam, you can't...' he shook him, then ceased the movement.

Why not.

Arodan picked up Mimir again and took to leaving the cabin. In the dim light of his charm he chose to sit in the hallway. Mimir had already written a few things when he opened them again but his focus stuck on a particular phrase.

What do you think of me going by feminine pronouns?

'You can if that's what resonates with you.' Arodan whispered to Mimir. His free hand searched a quill since speaking to a book had made him look odd earlier. 'How so?'

I was thinking of miss Solaire. I hope she's alright.

'Probably. She's a spirit, if we're lucky she's eating some Lux Laterna soldiers for us.' Arodan whispered. He found a quill but no ink regretfully and he really wasn't sure if he should continue whispering to Mimir. 'You wanna be like her?'

It would be really nice to walk in a form like yours.

Well, as long as she didn't possess him to do so Arodan was okay with that thought. 'I wouldn't know how to get you one like that but it is a fun thought.' He held Mimir close to him. 'I'll look into it.'

That'd mean the world to me.

'It's no problem.'

Thank you for being my friend, Arodan.

That made him just a bit tearful. He knew that. The confirmation just was nice, the kind of warm hug he wanted or the kind word. This was nice.

'What… What are you doing?'

That was not an as nice thing to hear. He peered into the dark and he could see Sachairi standing on just a distance from him. 'Oh, you.' As soon as the words slipped from Arodan's lips he found himself mentally bracing for whatever might come and he thought he should really ask himself why he just kept saying whatever came to mind. 'I mean- I didn't...'

Wait.

Arodan peered more closely now and he could see Sachairi was staring at him with a look he hadn't yet seen on him. He was pretty sure it was a self loathing disappointment completely with a light head tilt. 'Are… Are you okay?'

'No, I just...' It had been only the blink of an eye and Sachairi had returned to being the intimidating figure he had been in the crypt. 'It is none of your goddamn business.' Almost, that was. Something wasn't as confident in his stance.

'... Right.' Arodan scanned over the other man with obvious doubt. 'What are you looking for? Why are you up?'

'That too isn't for you to know.' Sachairi stepped towards him. 'I need to talk to you.'

'You mentioned that yeah.' Arodan gave as a flat response. 'Are you going to be polite to me or not?'

'Yeah, listen bucko, I'll be nice if I want to.' His eyes darted off to the side and he pointed at Arodan with a shaking, smoking hand. 'I need your help.'

'Sachairi?'

Balam poked his head out of Arodan's cabin. He looked half asleep still but alert enough to register what was being discussed. He didn't look particularly happy to see Sachairi. 'What are you doing out of bed? Go to sleep son.'

'I wasn't really feeling it.' Sachairi shrank under Balam's scrutinizing gaze and started to step away. The smoke that lined his arms and shoulders faded and his voice shifted. 'It's not as if I have to sleep.'

'Yes you do, stop being stubborn.' Balam sternly said. He wormed his way through the door yet again and nearly took the door out of its hinges. 'You aren't well. Rest.'

'I'm perfectly fine, stop telling me what I am.' Sachairi responded, turning on his heel and disappearing into the darkness. Arodan had expected him to follow up with something but nothing came. He could swear he heard a pained whimper out of the distance as if someone had maybe pushed him but that was the least of his worries. 

'That was… Very weird.' Arodan whispered, his gaze sliding up to Balam.

'It is like I'm dealing with a teenager.' Balam said. The statement sounded way too humorous to Arodan to take seriously. The following caught his attention far more effectively. '.... I swear it's as if someone else is wearing his face. When he looks monstrous he is more himself than like this.'

'I meant to ask, what did Atlas discuss with you about this?' Arodan walked over to Balam's side so they stood in the shared light of the charm. 'I know this is a highly personal affair but I have to step in.'

'He told me what was necessary.' Balam said painfully. He closed his eyes and looked more tired than before. 'I know I'm not going to stop you, and if a stranger is the way to figure out if he has become a threat, then I will take it.'

'That was the plan.' Arodan hummed. 'And he wants to talk to me, so that gives me an opportunity. I don't know why, but I'll figure it out.'

'I see.' Balam opened his eyes and took to eyeing Arodan suspiciously. Arodan knew what he was thinking just by how Kassa looked at him on the bunker's roof and he decided to not pay it any attention. 'I wish you good luck, Arodan.' Balam started to saunter away, off into the pitch black of the hallway. 'Do not lose sight of yourself.'

'I will, si- Balam.' Arodan responded. He waited until Balam truly was out of sight and then chose to retreat into his cabin again. He was quite done with all the heavy situations for today and as soon as his face hit the (to him) impossibly soft pillow he fell into a deep dreamless sleep. As long as nothing worried him in his dreams then he would be fine for the night.