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Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... The Strain (S04E02) The Blood Tax Airdate: July 23, 2017 @fxnetworks Ratings: 0.913 Million :: 0.30 18-49 Demo Share Score: 2.25/10 @thestrain-fx TVTime/FB/Twitter/Tumblr/Path/Pinterest: @SpotlightSaga **********SPOILERS BELOW********** Messy. Messy. Messy. The whole entire first half of the episode for Dutch (Ruta Gedmintas) and Setrakian (David Bradley) is a flashback, which is extremely confusing considering that the other narrative playing out involving Gus (Miguel Gomez) and his random cousin, Raul (Michael Reventar), who we've never met, not even once, is happening in the current timeline. Luckily, for Gus, Raul works at a high clearance blood farming lab at 'The Partnership' and I'm literally losing interest as I'm writing this sentence. It's crazy to think we were all so excited about the possibilities of 'The Strain' when it first premiered. It really felt boundless, a new twist on an old genre. Even more insane is that I truly believe that people actually want to like the show. About 1.5 Million Viewers tuned in to the S4 premiere, which is huge for a show that's been on cable since 2014, as very few series see actual gains in overall viewer numbers... Albeit, the gain was only 6%, but it's a rare & notable gain nonetheless. After the first episode of S4 premiered, many of us were left wondering what had become of the fate of these characters covered in this 2nd episode, the same ones that are completely absent from any scene in the premiere, besides Setrakian in a strange dream sequence. Suddenly, I wish I had never wondered or even asked. 'Time Jump' tropes can already throw a lot at you, but filling in the blanks can make it even worse. It's almost better for the writers to set the stage and insinuate bits and pieces of the lost path here & there, otherwise it becomes extremely convoluted... Let the audience think for themselves, don't dog walk them through everything, because then we're left scratching our heads, feeling confused and even a bit dumbfounded, when really it should be cut & dry. When things are supposed to be simple, but you position them in a chaotic & restricted way, it feels like you're reading a children's book that you keep having to turn back to the previous page again & again, asking yourself, 'Wait a minute... Now what just happened?!' Frankly, it's insulting. FX Networks is better than this and even this show, during its lowest of low points, have been better than this clusterfuck of an episode. The good news is that every episode of 'The Strain' moves fast as lightning... Before you can even lift up your hand to scratch your head, its over and the credits are rolling. Unfortunately for us we still have a bit more ground to cover. Dutch has been separated from Setrakian and is being farmed for breeding due to her rare and Strigoi friendly B-Positive Blood Type. One of her captive roommates is happy that she's at least safe in her bizarre, bloodletting, breeding ground, Dutch brushes off that ridiculous notion. Imagine Carol from 'The Walking Dead' being locked up with someone for some random reason and then having one of her fellow prisoners telling her, 'Well at least we're safe and breeding out new Walkers vs fighting for our lives and living in fear out there in the wild.' Dutch doesn't give 'Roommate #4' quite the look of pure disdain that Carol would return that sentiment with, but nonetheless 'Roommate #4' gets the picture and rolls out. She's weak, Dutch isn't, we get it. Thank you writers, crystal clear. If you guessed that everything was going to go wrong with Gus' plan to use his cousin for his and his ruthless crew's personal gain and then put him in danger by keeping him around his homicidal group of friends, cookies for you. The flow of the episode is such a mess at this point that I found myself flipping through IMDB to see who Directed this nonsense. Ah, J. Miles Dale. Ok, now it makes sense. Usually on a bad day 'The Strain' is still a solid '5' out of '10', but this episode is more like the bottom of a muddy, moss covered rock behind a venomous snake pit deep in the banks of the Appalachian Mountains. If you aren't familiar with Dale's Directorial Debacles, let me catch you up; Robocop: The Series (1994), F/X: The Series (97/98 - yet another needless tv adaptation), Earth: The Final Conflict (2000 - so a late series episode), Andromeda (2002-03, no we weren't aware the show even ran that long), The Skulls III (2004 - The first film was quite enough), Doc (2001-2004 w/Billy Ray Cyrus, yeah we have no idea either), Sue Thomas F.B.Eye (2002-2004 - WTF?!), Shadowhunters (2016 - Did I just hear you snort?), and every previous episode of 'The Strain' that you hated... No seriously, we looked back as we keep all of our ratings on file and the highest rating we'd given to any episodes with his name on the Director's Chair was a 4/10. Dale is not a Director, he's a producer with money and power. He's severely untalented and he's worked on some of the worst tv shows in the history of television, but he's thrown money at some decent ones... See the difference? I had to watch the episode twice, because I was so disinterested the first time, I was unable to piece together a coherent review. It was more cohesive than this episode, but it needed work. I'm a perfectionist... And I really don't like going negative, but if I have to, it's going to be in an entertaining key. Hopefully this article is far more interesting than the episode itself. Luckily we won't see Dale return to 'The Strain' until the 10th episode... But if the gravity of that reality hasn't sunk in yet, I'll give you a moment to think about it... No, go ahead, take your time. You already got it, didn't you? See, I knew it, you and me, we're on the same level. We love the #horror genre... We've loved parts of 'The Strain' and have enjoyed its lighting fast pace... We all love to hate Zach (Max Charles) and are most likely all completionists. We are going to ride S4 all the way out, we were hoping for a huge turnaround for the big series finale, but more than likely Dale has thrown a lot of money down to help sustain this project, so he's going to be directing the FINAL EPISODE. Why, God, Why? God gave us Cancer. God gave us AIDS. And God gave us J. Miles Dale. Suddenly I'm rooting for The Strigoi... And whoever they hired to write this drivel... Liz Phang, girl, what the fuck? If anyone asks, you blame it on Dale, you at least have a few good episodes of USA Network's 'Colony' under your belt. Quick 'flash review' on where we are here, mmhkay? Zach sets off a giant nuclear bomb, directly causing some sort of hazy like fog that's thick enough to allow The Strigoi to run free in the daylight, blocking the sun's harmful UV Rays... Winston Churchill did some sort of version of this in real life, wonder why people don't hate him like they hate Zach?! Everyone is fine though, forget what we know about Hiroshima and all those mutations, that stuff is happily skipped over because that might create a few more hours in the workroom for the writers (can't have that). Dutch takes lead in the B-Positive Breeding Ground, possibly showing her cards before she should play them to the 'Head of B+ Blood Type Breeding Operations', Sanjay Desai (Cas Anvar). He's still alive, who knows why, most likely to participate in ridiculous subplots like this one. Don't worry, I'm still not giving up, it's most likely due to the diligent person inside of me that can't get this far into a show and simply just stop. The most disheartening take on this whole episode, which congratulations 'The Strain', you've ensured we leave a little section for 'Worst Of' for our end of 2017 Awards (consider it a small Spotlight Saga/TV Time Community Version of the Razzies), is that the Dutch character is completely wasted. Once upon a time she was a bad ass, making sketchy decisions and given redemption arcs. Then it was made clear they had no idea what the hell to do with her next... Dutch's Fall From Grace: Unnecessary love triangle? CHECK! ✔️ Female who needs strong but damaged male character to save her? CHECK! ✔️ Almost escaping but puts another, weaker human being, Sherry -or as we referred to her earlier, Roommate #4-, (Jess Salgueiro) before her and it backfires? CHECK! ✔️ Getting her only way out doomed to a terrible fate for allowing the other useless, weak character to take her place instead? CHECK! ✔️ Its 2017. I don't know how it runs in your city, but in Miami we don't help you if we don't know you. So add 6-foot tongues in a blood sucking ancient race of #vampires that come from tiny worms that look like extremely fast moving maggots, a bustling, b-positive, baby-making, muncher snack maker, nursery prison... And then have the most intelligent & capable woman in the entire building stick the one psychologically frail woman of the group , who's already directly told her that she feels safer on the inside, into her only chance to escape... Only she doesn't even want to escape... So really this is just a way for the writers to take yet another shortcut to fuck everything up? Oh hell no! Keep with the East Coast, NYC to Miami attitude, Dutch. Walk over a bitch, before a bitch walks over you. This is a horror series, not a 'everything works out in the end' type of series. It's almost over, people. Picture me saying this next sentence with every word annunciated as if I'm asking a really difficult question very slowly in a genuine state of confusion, possibly in a massive K-Hole, or 'Stoned' for all you chemical amateurs... "I'm sure things will get better and be totally worth it by the 10th and final episode????" Inspiring confidence yet? Damn, I was sure that would work! At least we have Eph, who seems to be finding a purpose in the midst of his gloomy, dystopian, post wife and child, existential crisis. The resistance group, led by possible unnecessary romantic interest Alex Green (Angel Parker), that he stayed behind with and helped in return for supplies, conveniently has to get out of their hiding spots due to a Strigoi draining a member's blood and therefore absorbing all of his memories. Suddenly Eph can help, suddenly he wants to. It's cheesy, but Corey Stoll is very aware of that and even deliver's Eph's sudden 'back into action' style-line like a Schwarzenegger one liner from an old 80s action film with all the heart of 'one of the good ones' like Mark L Lester's 1985 'Commando'. In all fairness, barring directors like Dale from touching this show, 'The Strain' still has a chance to deliver us a semi-satisfactory ending. It's time to ham that shit up tho... Break out the Gouda Cheese, the blood red corn syrup, those creepy ass, aforementioned 6-foot muncher tongues and give Eph a whole lot more ridiculous one-liners, bomb detonators, large amounts of explosives, guns & firepower and we could still be walking out of this thing with a smile on our face yet.

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