#I wasnt able to get Juice or Ten either :(

[17seven76]

Fun fact both Juice and Ten are characters that you can guess in akinator, but Nine is not. I am sad.

I had to go and test this myself and I ended up getting THIS before ANY of the characters from 17776

[malafight]

Long-Ass Life Update (I’m not dead!)

Finally a life update now that I’m back home. It’s been a painful and tiring couple of weeks :’) And actually some of the days/times might be off because I was like super fucking out of it for most of that time period.

Anyhow, I went to the ER on Friday the 1st after 3 days of severe stomach pain, and the local hospital is like notoriously shitty but I was in horrible pain ok

They actually took me seriously for once, took me back immediately, ekg, ultrasound, blood and piss tests, and told me from the start not to eat or drink anything.

They told me they found gallstones and one or more might be stuck in the bile duct, but they made it sound like it wasnt inflamed and there werent many, so I wasnt super worried? They sent me for an MRI and then told me that they didnt have the capability to get out any stones, so they sent my ass an hour away via ambulance to a much better hospital so they could do the probe thing they needed to. It took until Saturday night to get a room there, though, and they didnt know when I’d get there and since they figured theyd want to do the probe ASAP, I was kept completely without eating or drinking for all of Friday night and Saturday, after not eating more than a few bites of muffin on Friday and next to nothing Thursday either because Everything Hurt.

Also, Fentanyl is fucking magic. Thats the only thing that even vaguely touched the pain.

So anyhow, I get to the other hospital at fuck o’clock at night and God Damn Staved because, like I said, bitches gave me No Fucking Food for an entire day (I’m not kidding that hospital is horrible and has a horrible reputation for ending up with killing people or making situations worse but the next nearest hospitals are an hour away in different directions and I don’t often have anyone willing to drive me that far and I often don’t feel up to driving myself that far if I’m already at “need to go to the ER, fuck the money I don’t have” point, and Saer has only just gotten into the USA and the last time they came with me to the ER they ended up with a virus for like three weeks and I wasn’t gonna do that to them again!!) and finally when I got to that hospital they were like “yeah we won’t be able to do the probe until Monday so eat something and then tomorrow you’re on a liquid diet and then nothing by mouth after midnight” so they scrounged me up some chicken broth and orange juice at like ten o’clock at night and gave me Those Good Good Meds and I slept in a decent hospital bed instead of on a fucking ER bed like Friday night (since they were transferring me at the local hospital they didn’t admit me and I slept in the ER. yeah. i hurt too badly to sleep on my side even with pain meds, and I slept on an ER bed. I had to sleep all day Saturday on and off just to get vaguely rested, but honestly? this whole ordeal has been an adventure in sleep deprivation despite heavy sedatives)

Monday rolls around and they take me for the ERCP (iirc thats what it was) where they put a thing down my throat and cut the bile duct wider so the stone could pass, get that bitch cleared up, all is well. I was heavily sedated and remember none of it, just waking up with different pain in my stomach and the world’s worst sore throat.

I was on a liquid diet from that and until the extraction on Wednesday. I have drank my weight in broth and orange juice.

Wednesday they take me in to remove my gallbladder. It was supposed to be a simple laparoscopic procedure, nip it out, pull it, I go home in a couple days with a couple small cuts on my belly. My dad (and several other people) reassured me that it was routine and quick, and is an easy procedure that should take 2 hours at most. I told him, “Listen, with me, literally nothing is ever easy and you know that”

Fast forward to me waking up and my first thought is “is that a catheter? guess it didnt go so easy after all.” I’m pretty sure the first words I said as I woke up were “told you it wouldnt be easy” lmao

Remember how hospital #1 told me that my gallbladder wasn’t inflamed and there were only a couple gallstones?

It was chock goddamn full of gallstones and so inflamed that when they tried to get it out laparoscopically, it tore. He spent an hour trying to get it out that way safely before realizing that his only recourse is to cut me open and get it out that way. The procedure took closer to 5 hours.

I have at least 20 staples in my belly now and I hope I get a cool fuckin scar but shit hurts still. I was in the hospital slowly ramping up to eating solid food again until Friday when I was allowed to go home to Saer. I can’t lift anything more than 20 pounds for another like month, and my range of motion is a fraction of what it was before. I’m so easily exhausted now and i can barely do anything and it’s really fucking pathetic??? and every time I bring that up Saer is like “they TOOK your ORGAN” so

(its really sad that i’m so conditioned that If I’m Not Doing Everything I Can All The Time Then I’m Not Trying Hard Enough that even after having full surgery to remove an organ I’m like NO I CAN DO THE THING and then end up hurting myself s-sobs)

(we watched the episode of b99 today where gina comes back after getting hit by a bus and when she tried to dance while still in the halo saer pointed at her and was like “it u” and i was like “exCUSE” but like, tru)

anyhow, im home, and i have my wife with me, and saer is such a blessing right now because i cannot do SHIT and they need to help me off the couch sometimes if my dumb ass gets in a position with no leverage, and also ive already fallen off the couch like twice because i was like NO I GOT IT and saer was across the room like BEB NO U DONT and yeah im stubborn and stupid ok saer is saving me from myself for the most part

also also the app i drive for is shutting down in my city at the start of december hhhhh so now i also have to fuckin... find a job like this and uGH do not WANT ffff

but yeah thats something even my parents have okayed me holding off on until I’m better so if even my fuckin parents are like “pls chill???” yall know im fucked up

however i’m mostly weaned off opiod pain meds now and am only using them at night when it’s worse and hard to sleep, tylenol tends to take care of it well enough now. my range of motion is improving, too, but i am just still so easily tired that its frustrating. we went grocery shopping yesterday and even in the little motor scooter i was completely worn out by the end of it.

but im alive! all is well! i will continue improving! sorry for being so quiet during this but like I said, i’ve been some level of sedated for most of this event. not fully sedated except for the two procedures, but fentanyl and dilautin (ok i have no idea what it actually is and google isnt helping but i had a button for it) and then morphine and hydrocodone on top of not getting restful sleep At All due to pain, discomfort, and people coming in every hour for vitals checks... I was fuckin Gone i got fuckall done rip

however once my pain-induced blood pressure spike was lowered (i saw them take it at the ER and it was fuckin RED) everyone was like “...you have really good blood pressure??” like i’m pretty sure i have low blood pressure naturally and my size/genetics gives me high blood pressure and they kinda cancel each other out, but yeah. pretty cool.

my family kept swinging between “IF YOURE IN THAT MUCH PAIN FOR 24 HOURS YOU GO TO THE ER. YOU DO NOT WAIT THREE DAYS.” and “...jesus christ you have a high pain tolerance”

//throws the horns thats what chronic pain does to ya baybee

my mom especially was impressed because she was just like “you’re so calm talking to them about how much it hurts how are you doing that” and im just like “its literally wasted energy to freak out and i hurt too badly to move so im just gonna sit here and tell them im a ten and hope they take pity on me because i have no other options”

anyhow fun new experience and im pretty sure ive broken my brother’s hospitalization record and also pretty sure i’ve got enough medical debt on me now that i can literally file for bankruptcy so

also i can feel a void near my ribs and it is so bizarre yall fuckin organs need to close the gap asap bc this shit weird as hell

[tumblunni]

HEY I LOVE POKEMON TRAINER BLACK

this boy is literally me what the fuck

Has anyone headcanoned him as autistic? Cos seriously SO many relateable moments! Or another neurodivergence/mental illness or just social awkwardness in general. He's every relateable everything!!!

But seriously tho there are so many ADORABLE moments of him being awkward and super enthusiastic and AAAAAA! like he's literally introduced appearing out of the shadows stuttering so quietly that the postman thinks he's a stalker and judo chops him into a pond. And then his idea of a logical way to prove his identity is to take the postman to his house, ask the neighbour if its his house, and then WALK BACK TO THE POND WHERE THEY WERE ORIGINALLY TALKING INSTEAD OF GOING INSIDE. Like even 'here's the package back, lets start over from scratch'. And then in contrast to how shy he was earlier he's all BOMBASTIC when he meets the other two heroes, he appears out of nowhere on a Braviary screaming about justice and dreams and then vanishes again just as quickly after he's saved everybody. So he's so relateable to me cos he's both shy and loud! Im like that, im so MAXIMUM 110% POWER when im with people im comfortablw with but thats only like 2% of people. And the autism relateableness really comes from the part where he cant control his loudness when he's talking about his hyperfocus? Like literally its treated like a SUPERPOWER in-universe, and the justification for the games being called black and white. "Black can't focus without his Munna eating his dreams, because he gets carrried away thinking about becoming the Champion and cant see what's right in front of him. He needs to turn all those blinding white thoughts back to black!" So seriously he's literally written having a problem that gets in the way of his daily life and using a support pokemon for it, and its literally a problem about hyperfocus and ALSO on top of that he has difficulty talking to people. I'm not just being nuts seeing autism relateability, right?

Also this manga made me appreciate Tepig more! They gave a lot of personality to the starters, showing them fighting each other while waiting to meet their new trainer. Tepig is exactly what you'd expect so far, a reckless shonen hero type who's a glutton for food and gets into trouble because of it. And then Snivy is the snooty beauty queen/king who gets all cold fury at Tepig whenever its stupid antics end up splashing dust or berry juice ln its beautiful tail. So they fight, and then oshawott is the shy pacifistic one who tries to break it up. BUT also it has kind of a demonic temper when you push its patience past the limit! Ten minutes of "but guys you should calm down hey maybe lets just talk about this over a nice cup of tea"and then "SHUDDUP AND DRINK YOUR GOD DAMN TEA" *instant kill samurai technique*

I LOVE THEM

And its so cute how Black befriends Tepig?? It got into trouble cos its shonen heroness made it depressed about losing the fight, its always all "i have to be the best" even when its not relevant or when its causing trouble fpr its own life in the process. So Black can instabtly understand and relate to how it feels! And then Tepig ends up wandering into an angry Sewaddle's food source and stabding on a precarious branch, comfort-eating the last leaf it was saving for winter. Again, hyperfocus letting you get so carried away you mess up! Relateable! So Black swoops in to save it and now he's yelling in full hyperfocus mode ABOUT HOW TEPIG IS THE BEST AND THEY ARE KINDRED SOULS AND I WILL HELP YOU ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS MY FRIEND!! and tepig cries because its personal dreams to be the best are sort of a self hatred thing where it starts these fights just cos its scared of being laughed at for being weak. And this is the first trainer who thought it was the best??? *sniff* And i like to think that even the artwork was kinda playing into it, cos it says that Black needs to have munna take away all of his dreams in order to focus, but the visual representation shows a mix of black and white tiles with the single solution tile in the middle of all the white ones. So its like in this situation his special interest actually helped him, once he was able to unfocus a little and realize the similarities with Tepig. If he'd conpletely stopped thinking about it he probably couldbt have solved the problem! So maybe his character development would involve learning to manage his focus more effectively instead of trying to magically remove all of it at once? I guess maybe that could be a metaphor for using heavy potentially-dangerous medicine on neurodiverse kids to get them to act "well behaved" but depressed, versus actually getting them the therapy, correct medication if necessary, and coping strategies to manage their condition and retain a full quality of life.

OR, AGAIN, MAYBE IM READING TOO MUCH PERSONAL EXPERIENCE INTO THIS

Oh also and i like that prof juniper is written as a bit of a longsuffering only-sane-person in this world of goofballs, who's not afraid to get sassy and sometimes strict when needs be. She kinda felt like she didnt have much personality in the games beyond being generically nice in all ways and having possibly the least dialogue of any professor. Same issue as elm but at least elm had one npc state he was messy and disorganized even if it wasnt a trait they really showed that much of. Anyway i'm glad to see a juniper that stands up for herself instead of just being all 'oh you kids tee hee' to everything 24/7. Its really like the barebones necessary for a professor character, they dont even actually bother to write a good kind character! Kindness doesnt have to be boring!! (Tho i also like this different sass version too!)

Anyway im lovin this so far so im gonna keep going! Favourite scene: "Knowing Black i bet he's either screaming off a clifftop about his dreams or curled up in the library hogging every book about Tepigs." *cut to him curled up in the library, also screaming*