#I went to the cinema alone and didnt have anyone to comment with

[nekofra]

Omg I Just came home from haikyuu the dumpster battle I swear one of the best films ever the music THE SOUND EFFECTS ( every time someone dunked or received I got goosebumps), the story the visual KUROOS LAUGH the flashbacks there are so many things ngl I cried at the end I'm so attached to haikyuu it means a lot to me

[jupitermelichios]

On a more possitive note, I’ve started watching Sword Art Online. It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever seen (and the last film I saw in cinemas was Cats to give you context for the scale i’m working on here) and I kind of adore it in much the same way I love garbage like Smallville or Twilight. It’s so stupid on so many levels. You could challenge someone to write the worst anime, and it would almost certainly be better than SAO. It’s almost hypnotic how terrible it is.

No one should watch this terrible terrible show so I therefore don’t feel at all bad that I’m about the spoil absolutely everything, but honestly if you do also hate-watch this please come talk to me about how terrible it is. I don’t know anyone else who watches it.

Highlights of Season 1 include:

everyone is trapped in an MMO, and if you die in the MMO you die IRL. but if you were a beta-tester you’re probably fine because they just let them keep all their levels and items from the testing, so they’re all massively OP and everyone just accepts this as a normal and non-game-breaking thing

it’s a fantasy MMO but there’s no races, no magic system, no weapons except swords and maces, and not even an option to dual wield - literally all you can do in this fucking game is stand in front of an enemy and mash the attack button. I’m pretty sure they’re trapped there because the devs realised no one would play this post launch-day otherwise because it’s boring as shit

when the villain traps everyone he also just changs all their avatars to look like they do IRL for absolutely no reason, like actually none, he doesn’t even say he thinks it would be funny, he just does it and no one questions it and it is literally never mentioned again because this is the worst TV show ever animated.

in the second episode the main character deliberately witholds information about how to defeat a boss, indirectly causing multiple deaths. there is absolutely no reason for him to withhold it, he was just being a jerk because he doesn’t like people

in the third episode they reset his entire personality and he’s now a selfless hero pretending to be a lower level than he really is so people will find him more relateable and be his friend because all he wants is to help people. this is not a consequence of episode 2, they just decided they didnt like the character as he’d previously been written.

he makes some new friends who are all objectively terrible people who have decided for no season that the twelve year old who doesn’t really know how to play and keeps having anxiety attacks about the very real possibility of death has to be the guild tank. the MC is high enough level to be functionally immortal in like half the levels, but doesn’t tell anyone this he just lets them go on bullying this child

none of his friends survive that episode, in the game or IRL. which is also a christmas epsiode. a child dies in battle because she’s a terrible tank and then a man commits suicide out of guilt, so then the main character murders santa to try and bring them back from the actual dead but it doesn’t work because again, this is a video game and they are dead IRL, so then he walks off into the snow alone. Christmas!

we meet the best character in the entire show in episode 4, Rosalia, who has gone evil and started just straight murdering people because she’s sick of being an attractive adult woman who can’t get a date because she’s surrounded by lolicons who are only interested in the preteen characters (not a joke, that comes up, the show is firmly on the side of the lolicons)

in the same episode we get an extended bra and panty sequence staring an actual fucking child, like canonically this character is maybe 13 at best. this is one of only 2 occaisions when they feel the need to undress a character and it’s the fucking 12 year old, it’s so gross it reads like a parody of itself

literally every single named female character aged over 8 who talks to the MC falls in love with him after like 5 minutes (and in season 2 this includes his actual sister). he shows absolutely no interest in any of them (including his sister, thank god) until...

the main character gets engaged to a girl he only knows from an MMO after a virtual single date (he doesn’t actually win her in a PVP match but only because he looses the match, he 100% canonically tries to win her in a match, which she is apparently fine with). he then doesn’t bother to ask for her real name until the final episode, he just calls her by her screen name

(that’s okay though becuase it turns out that this moron of a love interest used her real name, on a local server, in a game where your character looks like you do IRL, because apparently getting doxxed is her hobby)

they then get in-game married off screen. there’s not even like a still of a wedding photo. nothing. the main character proposes and then the show immediately jumps to the honeymoon, it’s fucking bizarre.

they find a creepy child dressed all in white with no memory alone in the woods a week into their honeymoon who starts calling them mommy and daddy literally seconds after they first meet her, and they don’t suspect anything suss is going on and adopt her

for hilarity bear in mind the main character may only be 15 at this point (he says he’s only just turned 16 in the last epsiode, but his actual birthday is never mentioned), and his virtual wifu is 16, but no one ever questions the marriage or the adoption, even though ‘hey marriage in a video game is as important and meaningful as marriage in real life’ is an actual conversation people have multiple times. also they think the child they adopt is an actual IRL 8 year old who thinks these randos she met in an MMO are her mum and dad and everyone just goes with that like it’s a totally normal thing

a character called ‘Thinker’ agrees to meet an enemy faction leader for peace talks. the “peace talks” take place in a high level dungeon and he is told to come alone with no weapons and no fast travel. he does this. no one ever comments that his name is ironic, and in fact they seem to think that being betrayed and trapped in a dungeon with a boss is a totally unexpected turn of events Thinker could never have planned for

they take their new baby into the dungeon to rescue thinker, because they went to the jean grey school of baby rearing, and she imediately reveals that she’s actually a magical maggufin with infinite power, murders the grim reaper, and then dies. In literally the second episode she’s in

after she dies the MC hacks the admin account of the game, converts her corpse into an in game item, and saves to the local storage on his console, with the intention of bringing her back to life as a robot once they’re saved from the game. I’m not joking, that’s an actual thing that happens.

the fact that the main character can just access the main admin account and make massive game-breaking changes isn’t used again in that game and he never thinks to try and use it to force log people out or give himself infinite life so he can just rush the game and free everyone. nope, convert a corpse into an item and then never think about it again.

there’s an entire episode where all they do is go fishing. its the only filler episode in the season, and it immediately follows the death of a small child. it’s the most tone-deaf beach episode in writing history

it turns out this game, this game where they didn’t bother coding in any difference races, weapons, or any kind of magic system, was intended to have fully sentient AI therapists, because why the fuck not at this point honestly

oh also the game has PVP and you can trick the game into thinking a sleeping player is in PVP with you in order to actually murder a real person without it flagging in-game as a murder making the crime impossible for the real life legal system to investigate even though you just murdered a person. and they expect us to believe this game had actual beta testers. at least cyberpunk wasn’t played on microwaves you connected straight to your brain (also not a joke, the VR consoles canonically work by sending microwave radiation into your brain, no wonder VR never caught on)

the set up for the show is that they have to reach level 100 of a dungeon in order to win. At level 75, the writers got bored and the show just ends.

it turns out the power of love allows you to just break the fucking game and the main villain literally has a line about how ‘love allows you to remove debuffs, huh, we didn’t think to plan for that’ because again, there’s no metaphors in this show, everything is 100% literal including the fact that falling in love with another player means you’re immune to the paralysis status effect

power of love also allows you to very briefly become a poltergeist after being killed, but only for like 2 seconds. again not a joke or a metaphor, main character is killed but then gets to hang around as a ghost for a little bit to enable him to defeat the boss. he also doesn’t die in real life despite that being the entire fucking premise of the show, again because power of love.

the bad guy literally has no plan, he’s just doing shit for the sake of having something to do. His actions directly cause the deaths of more than 4,000 people, and it’s not even in aid of anything. they ask him why he trapped 10,000 people in an MMO and allowed them to slowly die, and he’s just like ‘huh, i forgot i did that, random’ and then just fucking peaces out

the fact that he committed one of the largest mass killings outside of war never really comes up again, as far as we know he doesn’t even go to jail. i think the show actually kind of thinks he’s a good guy, which is a fucking WILD moral stance to take on the deaths of 4000 completely innocent people for absolutely no reason

If this sounds hilari-bad but you don’t want to invest the time to watch a show which is objectively garbage, it has an abridged series which is famously better than the show it’s parodying (i’m dead serious, people have character arcs, the getting married after one date thing is properly addressed, the mc has to deal with PTSD because of all his friends dying in epsidode 3, they don’t immediately follow the death of a child with an extended fishing montage, the villain has an actual plan). It’s mostly actually pretty good, but this is the internet and it’s an abridged series, so while there are a lot fewer yikes moments than most it still has enough that I’m not comfortable recommending it without the caveat. that said I still enjoyed it a lot, although possibly not at much as pointing and laughing at the garbage that is the actual show.

[rawnwas]

@nunukim-182  here it is! Thank you very much for waiting, I'm sorry it took me so long.   Enjoy it!

Since the kindergarten, I have been a child with difficulties to communicating. I commented on Star Wars all the time, it was very difficult for someone to put up with me. Actually, apart from my parents and my sister Esther, only one person cared about me. Her name was Rebecca Tucker.

Red was my best friend since kindergarten. she always sat next to me at lunch, in class, we worked together at school, and we also sat together on the bus. We even brought different fruits to lunch to exchange them, we went together to the cinema and to a Casa Bonita, it was funny. But all that changed when we got to fourth grade.

in this grade, everyone tried to appear "mature" and groups (some forced) were formed to "improve the interaction". There were the populars, the emos, the ugly ones, among others. red was adjusted immediately between the "hot girls" and me, obviously, with the nerds. I thought this wasnt going to affect our friendship, but as soon as the groups were defined, she started to avoid me and left with her friends.

Although Red avoided me, I continued to observe her and I realized that all our years of friendship were not in vain. I remember one time that she suggested seeing "the attack of the clones" to her friends when they chose which movie to watch at the cinema. Obviously her friends rejected that option for being a "nerd" movie and Red smiled falsely.

Our biggest interaction was on a school trip to "Villarejo dos peregrinos" where everyone said it was 1864. Our teacher told us to make pairs, and Red grabbed my hand instantly. I was surprised, because we hadnt spoken in months. During the tour, we talked as much as we could and i enjoyed her company a lot.

I didn’t realize, but I missed her a lot. Her voice, her smell, her hair, how she played with his strands as he spoke, the freckles she tried to hide with makeup, the perfume she wore ...

all those things that I missed, were back ...

but my joy evaporated as soon as the armed men invaded the place and threatened us.

I stood in front of her when they sat us on the floor, to prevent her from getting hurt. After the men were arrested, Red was so grateful that she sat with me back on the bus, and she forgot her friends during the trip, which sadly lasted only a few hours, and we kept talking. when we arrived, there was still a lot to talk about...

I thought she would continue talking to me later, but no, she was with his friends again. Even so, all those memories would follow my memory.

Even without her, I was not alone all this time. I started sitting at lunch with my friend Bradley, who was also a fan of galaxy wars, and with whom I had many things in common. I can say that at the time Red avoided me, he was my best friend.

besides him, I started to get together with Craig, Token, Tweek, Jimmy and Clyde. Somehow, I fit into their group, and among all of them, Clyde became a close friend. I confess that I felt betrayed when he started dating Red. However, thanks to Master Yoda, his engagement didnt last long.

at some point, I even played with eric, and ended up in Somalia, on a french ship with my laser sword, a heroic moment.

Over time, my interactions with Red decreased. some of her friends discovered her looking at me at lunch, and they started bothering her with that.

one day there was a talk about yaoi art at school and they showed images of Tweek and Craig, doing things that they normally don’t do. unlike the others, I was familiar with this topic and knew very well that tweek and craig were not really gay. I mean, there are a thosands of fanarts and fanfics about obi-wan x Anakin and Spock x Kirk and they are not really homosexual ...

During this event, I saw Red. She behaved like the other girls and found everything very nice. I dont doubt that when returning home, she looked for the two previous couples.

I thought Tweek and Craig were not really gays until they both ended up in front of the whole school. I was surprised with everything Tweek said, never imagined that Craig would be capable of all those things that Tweek said. I was also curious to know who Michael was, who apparently had been guilty of the separation.

The next day, Craig lost the class and Tweek appeared, but he looked very discouraged. Red also looked sad, it was as if the relationship of those two gave her hope for something.

But the next day, Tweek and Craig arrived at school holding hands, to the astonishment of everyone, including myself. Despite the surprise, I was glad that they were together again.

¿Red looked ... hopeful? I had never seen that expression on his face before.

At lunchtime, I sat next to Bradley, as I always did since the beginning of the year. Our table was next to the girls table. I could clearly hear a conversation from Red that caught my attention.

‘’Wendy, when you sayed that every kind of love is magical… you meaned that even a popular girl and a nerd can fall in love and it would be beautiful too?’’

That was not a typical Red question, and her friends noticed it too, so she got everyone at the table to raise their eyebrows. Wendy, meanwhile, took Red's hands and answered dreamily:

"Of course, any kind of love is magic!"

Red smiled shyly and could swear she blushed.

Bradley finished eating and ran away without saying goodbye. I was confused, but I finished my meal too and went out to the courtyard. all my friends were busy doing something, so I decided to sat in a corner to observe.

But before I did, Red appeared in front of me!

‘’Kevin... can we talk?’’ she asked.

‘’of course…’’ I answered surprised.

He took my hand and led me to the most isolated corner of the courtyard.

‘’Kevin ... do you remember that dance we had last year?’’ she asked looking me straight in the eyes and smiling shyly.

Of course I remember it! I smiled widely as soon as the memories arrived.

Flashback~~~~~~

In third grade, we had a dance near the end of the year. I remember well that Red decided to dance with Token, and I was sitting, feeling excluded. No girl wanted to dance with me, and I did not want to dance with anyone else.

It was like this until a girl dressed in a vulgar manner began to kiss several boys, including Token, who left Red aside to go with her.

Red was upset and sat in the stands. I went to talk with her and ask her if she wanted to dance with me, she accepted and we danced until the end of the dance.

After the party was over, they threw us out of the gym and Red sat down to wait for her uncles, and I sat with her to wait for my parents. As Esther was playing with the snow and Craig was playing with her friends, I was alone with her.

We talked and at some point, she took my hand and told me that I was the coolest guy in the entire galaxy. I felt extremely happy and I told her that she was also the coolest girl in the whole galaxy.

But before we could say anything else, the car of her uncles had already arrived for her and craig, leaving me alone with my sister.

~~~~~~~

I must have been thinking about that for a long time, because when I realized, Red was calling me. When I react, she kept talking.

'' ¿So, you still think I’m the coolest girl in the whole galaxy? '' she asked, holding my hands in his.

I thought about it a little. Even after she had avoided me, she was still the coolest girl I had ever met.

‘’ Of course, you are and always will be the coolest girl in the galaxy, and the planets beyond’’ I said without letting go her hands.

She smiled as she looked our joined hands.

‘’ you know kevin ... I still thinking that you’re the coolest guy in all the galaxies and I ... I like you, you know?’’

I was shocked. I also liked her too, actually, I always liked her, even after she started to ignore me.

‘’I… I…’’ I failed to form some phrase.

‘’So ... kevin ... what if you're Han Solo and I'm Princess Leia?’’ she suggested, winking at me.

I smiled. I had not thought of rejecting her, and now, less! she used a low blow!

-yes red! she smiled and hugged me.

As we parted, she grabbed my face, pulled her close and closed her eyes. Before I understood what was happening, our lips joined in a kiss. I felt very excited, it was silly, but in the end it was my first kiss.

‘’let's Rock!’’ she said after kissing me. We ran hand in hand to the courtyard. On the way, Clyde intercepted us.

‘’So ... are you guys together, huh? kevin, I thought these things didn’t interest you!’’ he scoffed, raising his eyebrows. I wanted Clyde to be sent to the farthest planet, from the farthest galaxy.

and somehow, my wish was fulfilled, because tweek and craig passed by holding hands and Clyde ran after them.

However, as soon as he left, Bebe arrived.

‘’I always knew you liked geeks! eh Red? I want to be the godmother of your wedding!’’ she said dreamily.

I wanted her to be sent to a planet farther away than Clyde's. But unlike Clyde, she went faster, winking at us.

When we get to the swing, we take turns pushing ourselves.

From that day, Red and I continued together, as if that separation by groups hadn’t happened. She surprised me with kisses and hugs, and I take my hand, as I always wanted.