#I will resist the urge to therapise them and I will grey rock more than I have been | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

voiceshearingyouloud · 8 months

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I was like dude why am I spilling my guts to my parents even after everything and why am I risking letting something slip that I don’t want to, and how do I stop doing that. And then I realised that I’m trying to fix my parents’ relationship with my brother and I went ah. I need to stop trying to fix other people’s relationships because it is not my job as the child to explain emotional maturity to my parents, nor do I need to hear ‘there are always extenuating circumstances’ from my mother ever again.

#‘nothing happens in isolation’ I’m glad you’ll have that to tell yourself when my brother and I cut you off!#anne speaks #me and my stupid need to fix everything for everyone else #it’s like a compulsion.#I mean it’s not stupid. it lands me in trouble but it’s from a very small younger me trying to stop everyone fighting #but it’s up to my mother to pull her head out of her ass and make it up to my brother before he never speaks to her again #and it’s up to my father to deal with his anger issues before we both cut him off #affirmations: I will not put my mental health on the line by being overly vulnerable with my parents when it is not my place to be their #therapists #I will resist the urge to therapise them and I will grey rock more than I have been #dealing with times they hurt me these days will not be me explaining why they did what they did and telling them how to stop it #and showing the fleshy part of myself where it hurts #it will be them apologising and taking responsibility and showing understanding of the issue on their own #or I won’t entertain it #it’s just actually so hard when a good relationship with them is in my sights if they would just have an ounce of emotional maturity #but they don’t; and I need to tell the baby me who is so desperately hopeful for them to stop hurting her #that it’s not her fault they don’t love her properly; it was never her fault and it’s not her responsibility to make it work

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