#I’m tired of media that depicts a lack of compassion as normal be it in common people or super individuals

[dropintomanga]

What Can We Strive For?

If you consider yourself to be an outcast and want people to acknowledge you, what would you choose - would you choose sympathy or would you choose respect?

I saw the movie adaptation of A Silent Voice (spoiler alert: it’s amazing) and a lot of commentary has been made about the quality of the work and its themes given that most slice-of-life anime movies tend to be cheerful. Although I read the manga years ago, it hurt a bit watching all of it because I know how Shoko Nishimiya has felt.

The director of the adaptation, Naoko Yamada, has been interviewed throughout the release of the movie and recently won the 2017 Excellence Award (Animation) at the 20th Japan Media Arts Festival. There was 1 question and answer in an interview on Cartoon Brew where she talks about Shoko’s desire to be treated as normal. Here it is, because it’s something that I hope provides some thinking on how the discarded can conduct themselves. 

“Q: It is surprising that the film never treats hearing impairment of Shoko as a special thing. Rather, it’s treated in the same matter-of-fact manner as the suffering of Shoya and other characters. All of the characters suffer equally no matter what kind of problems they have. It’s like saying Shoko is lonely not because she is deaf, but because she is a human. This approach is risky, and there was a big debate about the topic after the release in Japan. However, it seems that the approach was a conscious choice, with the understanding of this risk. Can you discuss the reason for choosing this path to depict the disability?

Naoko Yamada: I did not want to have a biased view. In the case of this work, people discussed the hearing disorder and bullying, but these were never the main subjects of the film. If you think, “Shoko is poor because she has a hearing impairment,” you impose your own selfish assumptions onto her character. Of course, it is one of the obstacles she confronts, but I don’t think she herself wants sympathy from everyone for that. It was more important to look closely at her: how she looks at the world and how she thinks about it. Not sympathy, but respect. I took the same approach with all of the characters because this film is about the general nature of human beings.”

Yamada’s comments on fans imposing their beliefs on Shoko are referring to the stereotype content model, a concept which is used to categorize certain types of people based on two aspects - warmth and competence. It’s usually laid out on an matrix diagram with two axes. According to this model, you can be one of 4 possible types of people

High-warmth, high-competence (Lovable to many and can do anything to get by)

High-warmth, low-competence (Lovable to many, but are treated as if they can’t do anything due to disabilities or other impairing factors)

Low-warmth, high-competence (Disliked by many, but is able to handle any situation that comes their way even if it means hurting someone in the process)

Low-warmth, low-competence (Disliked by many and don’t appear to be capable of handling life’s difficulties)

As you can guess, Shoko leans on the high-warmth, low-competence side, but wants to be on the H/H side. It’s natural that one takes pity on her. We’ve all seen friends and family go through horrifying setbacks sometimes. We want to be there for them. But I’ve been thinking about how those in the H/L spectrum just want to be acknowledged as normal. I mean, as someone with major depression, I’m fighting against the stigma that I’m a crazed maniac who can’t live a productive life. Yet I want to be recognized as someone who has value in life because of how much validation can matter.

After watching the climax of the series in anime form, I thought about Shoko and her actions. Although she wanted respect, she was in a rush to make things “right.” Anxiety grew in her fragile state of mind. It caused her to ironically lose respect for herself. I don’t blame her because many times, I've felt that I have to do something to change things important to me. I don’t want to be seen as a victim or helpless. Although Shoko went about it in the worst way imaginable, the fact that she wanted to change circumstances for the better in the end deserves a note of respect.

I get why some folks want pity. It’s safe. You get people on your side. It’s the best of both worlds. But there always comes a breaking point where those who take pity on you will get sick and tired of it. That’s because the pitied may not using that support to live their lives without full reliance of others. To be fair, I think it’s fine to sympathize with those worse off in some cases. Life does suck. There are people who will never be saved. I think that if certain “victims” keep making horrible mistakes with overconfidence while not respecting their own circumstances/limitations, then maybe they don’t deserve anyone’s pity or respect for that matter.

I’ll use me as an example. When I was in junior high, I had a case of bronchitis. I went to the nurse since I didn’t know why my ribs were in so much pain. I felt relieved that someone was there for me. The thing was every time I started to feel some pain in my rib area, I would make an excuse to go see the nurse. There was a music class that I disliked going to. So every time I felt troubled, I would use my sickness to excuse myself from that particular class. One day after a few weeks of excuses, the nurse flipped out on on me. She was saying that I shouldn’t be sick all the time. While you might say “Oh, she didn’t need to go nuts”, the truth was that the pain wasn’t severe and I had good healthcare to begin with back home. I took advantage of someone’s kindness because I was afraid of being forced to participate in music class and displaying my lack of interest in front of the whole class.  

When I compare that me back then to Shoko in her junior high days, she’s tougher than me. I chased sympathy; she chased respect. 

There was a epilogue chapter that focused on how Shoko’s mother wanted to make her do all kinds of things to appear “normal” in order to gain respect. I talked about how it reflected the complexities of being a parent in modern life. I want to add that self-compassion is arguably the most important thing to teach to a child. I feel that’s a big key in learning how to gain respect because self-compassion allows someone to realize that you’re still worth a damn to other people even if you can’t do everything. Humility gets you a ton of respect points.

Choose respect, so kids like Shoko have someone to admire because they need to know that they can still strive for a life worth living. Don’t let that choice be silent.