#I'LL TURN THIS DUMB@SS ANXIETY AND PARANOIA INTO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE HAEHAEHE

[taralen]

Well, guys, it was FUN being sane for 72 hours! Enjoy this visual garbage I vomited while having an extremely intense psychosis episode. 👌

SOMEHOW DESPITE LOSING MY @#)$ I MADE SENSE OUT OF THIS.

[[My "LoveLetter" AU interpretation of Spamton's situation shortly after making "the deal" with the "phone entity."]]

It was 1992.

Spamton, still a White Addison, was shown proof of the phone entity's "Absolute Certainty," a power he claimed to possess that accurately predicted the future 100% of the time. He showed proof of this by telling Spamton to call a specific number to pitch an item to, and after following his exact instructions, the sale closed without a hitch. He chalked it up to coincidence, but after a similar success with an e-mail sale, Spamton could no longer deny that there was merit to this man's power... And so, Spamton signed the deal to have the phone entity work as a permanent advisor and business partner for absolutely no commission fee and with the promise of transforming him into a BIG SHOT, one the likes of which Cyber World had never seen before.

But fear consumed his SOUL. His coworkers congratulated him on his two big and successful sales and planned to celebrate at the local bar. However, as they made their way there, a massive wave of anxiety consumed Spamton. Thoughts swirled and blended into garbage noise, making it difficult for him to pay attention to whatever any of his friends were saying. Only the chill sting of hard liquor could completely pull him out of this anxious trance and snap him back to reality, allowing him, for at least this short time, to relish in his unexpected success.