#I'd settle for being his older sister but HE NEEDS SOME ADULT THAT ISN'T A DEMON IN HIS LIFE

[imjustmarcy]

Re-watching Black Butler and I went from being in love with Ciel Phantomhive as an 11 year old to wanting to adopt that child as a 21 year old

[loorain]

Sims 4 Fontenot Legacy - First Family Outing!

In the afternoon, the family decides to go out and enjoy the nicer weather in San Sequoia at the rec center. Scarlett gets some knitting time in while the young adults focus on the three infants.

But the outing doesn't come without its dips in energy levels, kids and adults alike 😆 while a number of the family settle down for naps, Sigrid works with Audrey to get her crawling like her sister, but it seems she needs just a little bit more time.

And as Sabrina settles Juno down for a nap in the upstairs crib, a familiar face appears in the hallway, which Sabrina notices. They make their way over, questioning their perception in the process but eager to see if they were right. They were.

Sabrina: Bernard, is that you?

Bernard: Sabrina? Oh my goodness, what are the chances!

Sabrina: I know, right? How are you?

Bernard: I'm doing pretty good, you?

Sabrina: Alright. Life's been full of ups and downs. You look awesome, love the new hair.

Bernard: You look great too. So what brings you around these parts?

Sabrina: Just a casual family outing, taking the kids out for some fresh air after a long winter inside.

Bernard: Kids? You're a parent now?

Sabrina: Yup! I have a son, Juno. He's down for a nap in the playroom. Robin's a dad now too, he and his fiancée have twin girls Alma and Audrey.

Bernard: Wow, a lot has changed! I'm sure Armani is thrilled to be a granddad.

Sabrina: Oh... Armani passed a while back now. It was his time.

Bernard: That's too bad, he would've spoiled those kids. What about your mom?

Sabrina: Oh she's fine, thrilled about being a grandma and determined to stay in the best shape so she can see him grow up. I have some pictures, look.

Sabrina pulls out their phone and scrolls through endless photos of the family, which Bernard looks through in contentment.

Bernard: They're all so adorable! It's nice that they're close in age so they can grow up together.

Sabrina: Mhm, just like me and Robin, and Anya too by extension, though she was a bit older and didn't want to hang out with us quite as much.

Bernard: Who's Juno's father?

Sabrina: A guy named Marquise. We're not together, just friends. I'm actually in a relationship... well, we're taking a brief break while I focus on Juno and my business, but yeah.

Bernard: You seem like you're doing well for yourself. I'm glad.

Sabrina: Well, what about you? Anything exciting in your life? A partner maybe?

Bernard: Nah. Just living my life quietly off-screen. It's more my style.

Sabrina: Oh...

Sabrina didn't mean to sound unenthusiastic or awkward. They were genuinely very happy to see Bernard, despite how things ended, but his response made them remember what really happened between them. That Sabrina had broken his teenage heart. Maybe they were the reason they were alone now, because they couldn't bear for the same thing to happen again.

Sabrina: Bernard... I know things ended kinda... not so good between us. I'm really sorry about that. We were young and it was a whirlwind romance. I just want you to know, I don't regret my time with you. I hope you don't have any regrets either.

Bernard: Sabrina, I'm good, really. Life may not have all the intricacies of played sims, but my life isn't bad either. I'm just doing my own thing, and for now, that's enough for me. And I don't regret us. I just wish things ended differently. Friends?

Sabrina: Yeah. Friends.

And outside, the three other adults enjoy a quick bite to eat while keeping an eye on the kids.

Robin: I'd say this was a pretty good time out with the kids!

Sigrid: Yeah! I think it'll gradually get easier to do this as they age. Maybe we can take them camping or something.

Robin: We can take them to the slopes like we talked about way back. Get back into skiing ourselves.

Sigrid: I do miss it, it was really fun.

Robin: Don't worry, I'll get you back in shape.

Sigrid: You? You think you still got it? It's been a minute.

Robin: Please, once I get it I don't lose it. It's okay though, I'll show you the ropes again.

Sigrid chuckles.

Sigrid: Love your confidence, hun.

[xo-alie-xo]

PORTWELL LONG GAME OR RINA SLOWBURN.

You can only choose one poison.🍷

Listen up my Wildcats.🐱

We all ship each character with happiness. No matter how much you love to hate them, a majority of us simply adores the characters and want the best for them. Then comes relationships and it's okay to ship our favorites.⛴

I'm a diehard Rina shipper and I know in my heart that they are series endgame. The set up, the natural chemistry, their mutual understanding, the surprises and angst literally put me on chokehold. So I'm 100% a Rina shipper till the end. I'm here for the slowburn and their development rather than one shots. They are worth the pain. 😭❤

Let me start with Ricky Bowen now.

Ricky shouldn't to be with Gina because he's hurting her mentality. He's not insensitive on purpose. Like when he tried to stop Big Red from telling her his message to Nina because he KNOWS it'll hurt her.

If you think, that Ricky didn't understand clearly when Gina confessed, think again. He shushed her. Kept their thing a secret from everyone. He knows he feels some type of way and she feels something too. But this boy is so used to safeguarding his childhood norms and has very little adaptability. Hence, he pretended to ignore everything between them because his home stability was falling apart and he clinged on to Nina, his constant childhood love.

He's a traumatised 16-17 year old boy that needs to heal and grow. This episode was heartbreaking because he had to accept that he had to let Nina go because their once upon a time fairytale had become toxic.

People change. I'm not the same person I was when I was 16 lmao. Being together as childhood lovers means growing together and accepting each other's growth. Which Ricky couldn't. He clutched to the idea of Nini. Even his love confession. It was sooo sweet but all he did was focus on their history.

This boy needs time to heal and maybe seek professional therapy. It would be so DAMN HISTORIC if Disney decides to take psychological issues seriously and show how he's dealing with his anxiety, pills and psychotherapy. He needs to breathe before he can be with any girl for that matter. He's hurting and isn't trying to hurt anyone on purpose. Including Gina.

Him asking her for advice on Nini was a dumb, insensitive move. But he's trying to find a way to build some supportive friendship that they shared in early season one.

As for now, this boy needs to get his own grip on life and heal.

As for our Queen Gina

In Gina's confession, she focuses on their future. She basically said, "I wouldn't quit on a possible future of us being together despite obstacles. Because I never quit. But moving away isn't in my control." Ricky deep down knows this, encouraged her to say it, teary eyed, despite right after getting back together with Nini. Gina is his future. She went to his new house. And I also have this feeling that when she was given a chance to stay, she stayed partly because of Ricky. She left a chance to be with her mom because she prioritised their relationship. Because she never quits. 💪🏼

But she came back and found out Ricky has gotten back together with Nini.😭 What she doesn't know is Ricky got together with Nina before her confession, and after Gina kept dodging his messages. She's hurt and questions why she returned because she isn't particularly close to anyone. Hence, she was so silent at the after party. She thinks it'll be fine, "she'll live", and finds other reasons to find permanence. Her arc this season has been settling down in East High, despite the pain of losing and being 'betrayed' by Ricky, she finds other reasons to stay. 🏡

This kind of contrasts her with Nina. Nina left her dream school and came to Salt Lake because she missed her established home, and not just because of Ricky. Nina returned and was loved and embraced by Ricky Bowen.💕 Gina came back to a semi new place called Salt Lake because of her promise of a future to Ricky. But she got stabbed and she bled. 💔🗡

Think about her situation. She feels confused, alone, heartbroken, out of place and seperated from her mom. She's broken and hurting too. And she doesn't need more from Ricky's accidental or intentional 'sick burns'. That's the one line where he was such a jerk and I can't defend him here. 😠

Here comes the Caswells.

Her second family. A place of healthy stability. A home that accepted her. Ashlyn, her roomie and her confidante. EJ, the misunderstood boy who saw her value and bought her plane ticket.

Let's get to EJ.

At first, I wasn't too keen on seeing Portwell's development. But then that video chat where they talk about the possibility of her staying and him convincing her. Had me sold for a solid brother-sister relationship. Few episodes later, when Gina's pain seemed to be oblivious to everyone, he was the only one who asked her how she was, and saw her glow. The comfort she must've felt.

Not that she needs a man's validation, but she must be feeling like a second choice and feeling a little insecure because of Ricky. But EJ lifts her up and I genuinely saw her smile. This boy has her back whenever. The man she can lean on and truly sees how special she is. She no longer feels alone now that she has his entire fam and other friends. She genuinely feels a place of belonging and happiness when she's the apple of his eye. Notice how happy she is? How happy this boy is? She's going through her own issues and she has found ground with EJ.

I was very doubtful when they started hinting at a romantic direction. Because EJ would be used as plot device again for a girl to get to Ricky.😤 This man doesn't deserve to be second best to anyone, just like Gina.😑 That's why I'm still hesitant on shipping them at least temporarily. EJ needs to be something even more special to Gina. They need to show each other how special and treasured they are to each other despite feeling like rejects. They are each other's source of comfort.

I'm sure they can keep EJ at East High for the next season. Whether it's the drama club, or the AV club or going to a local college. So he will be there for Gina. I don't know how they can work out a relationship with much distance as Rini's fell out when she moved away. So, if EJ leaves again, it'll again shake up Gina. Her being worried whether he'll date college girls, second thoughts, etc. I don't want them to go through that. And if they do move on to romantic Portwell, make sure it's not plot device for Rina. So you can either have Portwell endgame or Rina Endgame.

Basically I want Gina to be treated so right that she understands she doesn't need Ricky. And when he does ask her out, and he makes her feel like a second choice or a rebound, she says NO. Because EJ has helped regain her self assurance. Eventually I want Gina to confide in EJ about her and Ricky. EJ is jealous but also angry about how Ricky has been hurting her. And becomes damn protective of his 'babe'. Ricky gets jealous of their relationship, restarting Ricky and EJ's old rivalry. But this time, it's not because Gina is his girlfriend, but because she's EJ's best friend who he has a crush on and wants what's best for her.

If it's meant to be Rina endgame

EJ- RICKY, YOU IDIOT! You have no clue how to treat her right. You don't put her first. You mislead her. Get the hell away from her! She's too powerful and beautiful, she doesn't deserve your scraps. I know how she feels for you. I wish I were you. I would treat her like a queen. I don't mind even waiting years till she's ready. She deserves that. You're so lucky you have even a small chance that I may never have. So get your act together, prove you're worth it to win her over. All I want is for her to be happy. Even if it's with someone else. And maybe then I'll stop threatening you to stay away from her.😠

Ricky- .....I don't know what I'm more scared of. Change, or losing the girl I fell for or YOU. Okay, losing her but you're a close second.😬

If it's Portwell endgame.

Ricky- I messed up. Make sure you don't mess up with her. You'll regret it forever.

EJ- I'd rather get hit by thousand basketballs than ever hurt her. I'll be her plus one and her best friend until she's ready to be with me. I know she's ready now too. But I want her to know I'm willing to wait till she graduates before we make it official. I'm in it for the long game.

As for their age gap. I'm 100% sure Portwell won't kiss this season. If they do, it'll be next when Sofia turns 18. They are professional actors who are cast because they are the perfect fit for the role and are expected to carry out the storyline. But I suppose fearing some outbursts, they might delay Sofia kissing anyone till next season. It's so weird because Olivia was maybe 17 when Matt was 21-22 when they kissed in season one. But no one had a problem with that. But for this, they do. Remember, they are professional actors. They are acting! Sometimes, actors are over 10 years apart (but above 18) and act as romantic partners.

As for their characters, they are only two years apart. That's hardly any difference once you're over the age of 18. Age of consent is 16. But adults above 18 are only allowed to have sex with adults above 18. So, age isn't a problem here because EJ is a gentleman and is genuinely interested in her and isn't trying to get in her pants. So age isn't the issue when it comes to dating. It's the maturity. Gina is very mature and gives very sound advice. But I can see EJ being patient enough till she turns 18 just to kiss her because he loves her. 😚

As for the Ashlyn remark, "You look like a kid to me rn". He was JOKING.😂 Don't take things out of context. I tell my cousin sister that all the time. But she's three years younger than me and a grown adult. I don't see her as a kid but it's just a cousin teasing her younger cousin that's she's a little immature. I'm Matt's age and I'm very mature for my age and since I was a teenager, I always matched up with boys a little older than me. Now that I'm in my early 20s, I've dated boys even close to 30. So age is just a number.

EJ dating Gina and giving her quick kisses is fine. But to have a strong sexual element in their relationship (including making out), he'll have to wait till she's 18+. And I'm sure for that he'll wait till she's ready even past her early 20s. Age is really just a number and we can't help who we fall in love with. Trust me, I've been there.😂 So I can see EJ feeling conflicted about his feelings that are clear at this point.

They might not be a perfect fit, but they make each other sooo happy. They deserve a lot more than a short lived fling.😟 They are either endgame or Rina is. You can't have both as a Rina unless you're an EJ hater who wants him to exist as plot device. Nope! He's sooo much more precious than that.

But Jack on the other hand....I'm okay if he's the one to make Ricky or EJ jealous. Because he's just been introduced and it's okay if a character is used, but only once, for someone else to realize their feelings. 💁🏽‍♀️

In short.

Ricky needs help and needs to be on his own. No girlfriends allowed.🙅🏽‍♀️🚫

Needs to give both Gina and Nina space for them to grow on their own too.🌳

Ricky needs to understand the core of his problems and become more adaptable via therapy. Maybe the psychologist will point out his unresolved feelings for Gina, or he will conclude it himself. And in comes Ricky-pining-for-Gina season three.

Ricky needs to fully get over Nina before he moves on to anyone. Same for Gina if Portwell were to happen. No one deserves to be second choice.

Gina isn't Ricky's cushion. She's a living person with strong feelings for him and shouldn't be subjected to share his pain. She already struggles with her own issues.

Ricky needs to stay single till he wins back Gina and prove he's worth it. He needs to show even if another girl wants him, he'll never quit on Gina ever again. Even if he has to watch her be with someone else. *cough parallels*.

It's either romantic Rina then Portwell endgame OR Portwell flirty besties but Rina endgame. You and I can choose only one because my boy EJ shouldn't be used as plot device for a girl to leave for Ricky ever again.

Portwell's age difference can be practically solved and isn't much of an issue unless they get hot and heavy before Gina turns 18 which is impossible considering this is Disney. 🤣🤣

Jack and Gina will be plot device material and purely so sentimental to us OG Andi Mack fans. More than any ship, this is what I'm looking for. Sort of an Andi Mack crack ship for season 3a. It's gonna be soooo funny. 😍😂

I respect everyone's ship. I see what you're seeing. And I'm not going to invalidate your ship. But unless it's done right, I won't jump from the Rina ship. I liked Rini. I like Portwell. I like AU Juffy crackship haha.😂 But as for me, I'm still holding on to Rina slowburn.

Preparing myself for the pain. 😭🔥

(But if I had to pair two characters without Disney getting in the way, it would be Gini. The power duo. Undeniable chemistry. They can be written so well because of their layered relationship and contrasting personalities.🤩 The classic rivals to friends to lovers. But that's a talk for another day lmao.)

Thanks for reading my opinion, Wildcat!🐱❤

[ultraclops]

Day 3: Be True To Yourself

Aka me literally just infodumping about my Ocs because I love them ♡

Brought to you by Colorvision! Yep, I decided to get off my lazy butt and color traditionally today :)

First off, Tiara Depurrnaire (She/Her)! A Sweetypie cat who's partially related to the Snugglemagne family and, in my timeskip AU, Adorabat's future girlfriend. Like Adorabat, she lost her leg to a monster while wandering the King's dungeons. She aspires to be just as brave as Adorabat but lacks the gall, being content to watch and learn from the sidelines. As they both get older Tiara realizes that she is a lesbian, and develops a mutual crush on Adorabat that turns into a relationship. As she ages, Tiara' aspirations to become a hero fade, and she settles for becoming a ballet teacher. She learns to be brave in her own way and unconditionally supports her monster-slaying adventuring partner, no matter how their paths diverge.

T H E Y (Also I need to post my full adult Adorabat design sometime)

Next up is Sherbet (They/Them), a Sweetypie rabbit who makes ice cream for a living! I don't really have a backstory for them but I believe they realized they were nonbinary in their younger years (around early middle school age) and have fully embraced their identity! They don't let anything get them down and are eager to cheer up the citizens of Pure Heart Valley, one ice cream cone at a time. They're also good acquaintances with Badgerclops and Adorabat, for obvious reasons. Their eyes function similarly to Badgerclops', as they only open when they feel strong emotions.

Next (and honestly one of my favorites) is Moa Nola (Xe/Xem), an agender Oriental Shorthair cat who, surprisingly, isn't related to the Mao clan. Xe originally started off as a joke character based on the misspelling of Mao Mao's name in "I'm Mao Mao", but I eventually grew attached to xem and gave xem a full-fledged backstory. Xe comes from a family of fishermen, but after xyr father was killed in a monster attack, xe decided that xe wanted to become a legendary monster hunter. Xe created xyr cloak after xyr first successful monster fight. After being mistaken for the son of Shin Mao too many times, xe used it to xyr advantage and began going under Mao Mao's title for a while. However, after being stopped by Mao Mao himself, xe dropped the act and began looking for a new sense of purpose. Ironically, xe starts collecting antique ventriloquist dummies similar to Mr. Din Danalin.

Following up on the "based on a misspelling" theme is Rhapsody (She/They), a femme-aligned nonbinary Sweetypie vampire bat inspired by Adorabat's name being mistranslated as "doorbat" in YouTube autocaptions. She is Adorabat maternal cousin, as their mother is Sonara's sister. Rhapsody was heavily impacted by Sonara's death, but rather than becoming tough like Adorabat or overprotective like Eugene, she became more reserved out of fear that they could be next. In other words, she became a doorbat (haha funny). With the arrival of Mao Mao and Badgerclops, plus the defeat of the monster that killed their aunt, Rhapsody begins to come out of her shell and indulges in their biggest passion - music. Like Adorabat she learns to use their voice as a weapon, but hers is more of a siren's song than a sonic screech. In my timeskip AU, they leave Pure Heart Valley to become a popstar, writing songs inspired by her childhood memories and their home. It's obscured by the flag but the marking on her chest is a bleeding heart, emphasizing her passionate drive.

(Rhapsody's kid and adult forms [kinda old])

+ OCs of mine I didn't feel like making alternate drawings for:

Buzz-Buzz (Zhe/Ze/Zhey), a demigender Sweetypie bumblebee bat who protects the bees of Pure Heart Valley! Despite zer small stature, zhe is actually an adult, just naturally small. Zhe also grows herbs on the side and volunteers at the Pure Heart Valley hospital. Primarily because zhe has a crush on the head doctor there... (I did not make zer to selfship with Cuddlestein. Nope. Not at all.)

My Badgermao "fankid", Sai (They/He/It)! I say "fankid" in air quotes because they're from an AU where Badgerclops' spare arm became corrupt and gained a conscience. Their robot arm is actually their body - the rest of their body is a projection of light, similar to the gems from Steven Universe! They have masculine programming (as their AI was made using Badgerclops's DNA a la Cortana from Halo), but identify as agender and use they/he/it pronouns. Originally they began as a blank slate with no personality aside from the programmed personality Badgerclops gave them, but they eventually grow their own personality and moral compass as they analyze the Sheriff's Department's work. Just like Badgerclops, they have a passion for building robots and weapons, and can even modify themselves to fit the situation! Most of their creations are usually for fun, though.

Anf the last one I have a reference for but not the least, Karma Vesper (She/They)! This one is actually my self-insert, lol. She is a biro-ace demigirl Javanese Cream-Point Cat! Her necklace was a gift from her family, and her hood was a gift from her mentor. After her village was ambushed by criminals, she became a wandering hero, and accidentally stumbled upon Pure Heart Valley while following a report of increased monster activity. At some point during her adventures alone she realized that she was biro-ace, since she felt no sexual attraction but still felt romantic attraction. Around the time she came to Pure Heart Valley she realized that she never really felt, like, 100% a GIRL girl (if that makes sense) and began identifying as a demigirl. (Yes this is my hidden self-actualization story :>) She enjoys researching gemstones and ancient artifacts, and the Ruby Pure Heart immediately caught her attention once she laid eyes on it. While she is still a wandering hero, she has a temporary residence in Pure Heart Valley, where she stays to research the Heart's powers as well as assist the townspeople. Her and the Sheriff's Department didn't start out on the best terms since Mao was worried she was trying to replace them, but they tolerate each other now.

+ the OCs I don't have references for:

I did have a reference for these guys but idk where it is rn ;-;. Anywway, my most recent OCs and also some of my favorite OCs are Bernard and Pierre, a black bear and polar bear respectively (both use He/Him)! They are both gay and in a healthy relationship & live in a cabin in the forest together. They are just. Two old gay granddads and I love them. Anyway! They both met after an accident which caused Bernard to blow out his left knee and Pierre to lose his left hand; they had been best friends since, and boyfriends later on! Bernard is a baker while Pierre is a wood carver, although they indulge in each other's interests as well. For the most part they just stay in their cabin in the forest, but they leave to buy groceries and sell their products.

And the final OC I'm gonna talk about is Storm Mao (They/Them)! They're from an AU where Mao was born in a litter of five, like his sisters. Ever since Storm were young, they felt like weren't "normal" compared to their siblings. They didn't feel like a girl or a boy. After Mao came out as a trans boy, they began questioning themselves further. Eventually they decided to ask Contacts Sister for help, as she was among the smartest of the Mao children. Contacts explained to Storm that there are people who don't identify as a boy or a girl, and Storm realized they weren't alone. Since then, they started identifying as nonbinary and began using they/them pronouns, and their family supported their decision. Aside from them and Mao, their litter siblings are also LGBTQ+ - Mamoru (He/Him) is AroAce, Bernadette (She/Her) is bi and Zhijun (He/Him) is gay. I'd talk about the AU more in a separate post, if anyone wants me too^ ^;;

If I remember any other LGBTQ+ OCs I have, I'll reblog with them ✌

[frogsandfries]

Do you ever have that weird, out-of-body sensation

Like, this isn't my life, but like not in a, I'm so blessed way, but like, this is wrong, something is missing.

I'm laying in my bed, in my friend's house that she and her husband are renting. My desk is immediately to my left. The ceiling above slants down toward my right, but so does the floor, which is why I have a sitting desk instead of a standing desk.

It's obviously not like I always sleep with someone next to me. I mean, I grew up sharing my sleeping quarters with first once sister, then two, then my much older cousin, then my sisters, then I lived utterly alone, then I shared a room with a total stranger, then a half-stranger. After that, I lived alone again for a few months, then I shared a bed for a year and a half. For a few months, I slept on the living room floor, then I shared a sleeping space again with someone who I deeply cared for. I guess I'll never know if he actually cared for or about me.

I've been alone again for almost four months. It just feels bizarre and lonely.

I know I deserve better. I deeply want to find that person who only sees me. I deserve someone who will always choose me and not make excuses. Maybe the excuses thing is weak. He did genuinely seem unable to end his relationship no matter what he wanted, but he's an adult and if he wanted to choose me, he had countless opportunities.

After he dropped me alone in the desert to get some freaky trollie doll, when he finally picked me back up, I was so hurt and betrayed, even though I'd gone into this trip knowing that was the arrangement. He just has this way of rerouting a person--or maybe just me--so it's almost impossible to stay mad at him. I definitely stopped being angry and hurt sooner than I would have with even my own family.

If he came back into my life tomorrow, or in another five years, if there was no one else, sure I'd be angry, but hey, maybe he deserves one last chance? At least I could probably eventually actually belong to his family. I love his family. They obviously aren't perfect, but I thought they were amazing.

It's weird, I don't remember feeling this way about my ex. Ugh, his family was horrible. Awful, absolutely awful. At least my "friend" from Arizona worked and had his own money.

I just want to find a companion, someone who's willing to be with me, someone who's company I deeply enjoy.

I'm also anxious about losing my job, if I'm honest. I know it wouldn't really be any fault of my own. Our store just isn't doing well, malls just aren't what they used to be. For the most part, our generation either doesn't have the time or doesn't have the money--often both. Plus, we know how, more often than not, to find precisely what we want, saving time wandering all over town to find it, and saving money settling for something approximately what we want three towns over.

That's not to say the structure of the mall might not serve a purpose in the millennial world. But people in offices are still trying to force what used to work to continue to work.

For example, we're getting a people tracker when a theft sensor would be more useful. People in offices who've never worked on the ground level don't understand that people wander in and out--staff wander in and out by necessity.

I've had such a rocky recent work history. I can't afford to get fired, least of all over something I have little to no control over. How do you explain, I got fired because our whole staff was failing to perform? I worked there for three or four months, and I got fired through really no fault of my own.

I am looking for another job while I still have this one--I obviously need to work more hours, I need more cash if I'm going to get back on my own two feet once and for all. I feel like the struggle I've been having to get living on my own and really supporting myself is really ridiculous. It can feel like I'm alone in struggling and relying on everyone else for support and just to keep my head above water. I feel like a failure more often than not.....

Like, I'm three months from being twenty-seven. I still don't have my license because no one can help me. I still don't have a partner, I haven't started my family. Marriage is so far down the list of anything. I don't really have a presence. Nobody really knows what I do. I don't think even I know what I do. I can't even meet someone who's willing to hang out with me and get to know me. I'm a failure and I haven't accomplished anything and I may get fired just because wrong place, wrong time. Or our store may just be closed. I haven't actually kept a fucking job in almost two years now...... I meant to in Oregon; I was gonna stay even though it was destroying my hands. I meant to in Arizona. I was going to stay and I would have packed an extra shirt and walked. It was decent money for what I was doing and customers liked me.

Perhaps if I actually get out and look for it, I can find something like that again.......my degree for food service industry...... What I really want is that incredible chocolate mold-making job my ex fucked me out of by deciding all of a sudden that he was too good to drive me to work. When am I ever going to have another opportunity like that?