#I'll probably do the next chapter of assassins before Cigarettes... sorry.

[fauxpaux]

A thing I drabbled while trying to finish this dang final chapter of the Bodyswap au. It went nowhere and solely exists to braindump words. enjoy? i guess?

What does Mondo think of him? What does he think of himself? In this theoretical universe in which nothing is wrong. In this universe in which high school is normal. One is the enforcer and the other the antagonist and yet they mesh together. Mondo sees an innocence within Kiyotaka that mirrors an inane discomfort within himself. A strength he was forced to take on like a burden, yet does not project an infantilization onto Kiyotaka, but rather a wish of a simpler life than his own he received. From Mondo’s own perspective, Kiyotaka is the normality. The representation of a perfect classmate and a perfect, moral high ground. His execution is flawless and his attitude, while poignant and sharp, is well-meaning with good intent. Aside, there is indeed a kinship within the two specific opposites. The desire to hold those close within a safety. To take the metaphorical bullet. And like two folding upon each other to receive the pain in another's stead, it comes with a herding of a flock. Harsh hand when it necessitates, but a general understanding and love for those close enough to receive it. But then, what does Kiyotaka think of himself? No doubt there is a high standard to reach. A peak, of sorts, that is desired out of himself. Drawn from within his understanding of the world, forced, of course, by a familial history he is well aware of. In such, there is not just a desire for perfection but the need for it. A specificity that could drag him deep into a despair if he dared let himself go so far as to crumble underneath the pressure he puts on himself, one that is also, in some cases forced upon him. One he accepts with grace and a wobbly smile. Because it is all he knows how to do. Here, however, there are buffers. Exceptions to these laws of Ishimaru’s nature that refuse the perfection. Friends, such as Mondo, whom while motivate him to reach that peak, force his hand in understanding that he is only a person and nothing more. He may see himself as said enforcer, an embodiment of the laws in which he upholds, the rules, if you will. Yet with his connection to others, his friends, there comes a messier understanding of himself that does not have the chance to show elsewhere. Without negative influence, there is room to harbor emotion. Allowing a flourishing of oneself that may only appear in the right conditions. Unisolated, comforted, happy.