#I'll save you the trouble of skipping ahead to the end of this arc which is chapter 81

[makeste]

KHR 065: Motivational Tomatoes

Before we get back to the action, this chapter featured the first-ever character poll results, and do you know who got first place?

That’s right! This is the one and only time he will ever make it into the top two, let alone beat out his beloved boss (and it wasn’t even close). The rest of the character poll results are here, for anyone who enjoys these things and feels validated (like I do) when other people also like their fave.

Moving on to the chapter!

I can’t believe Gokudera fucking died right when he was voted the most popular character in Japan.

THIS WAS A COMEDY MANGA

Honestly, it’s fascinating to see Tsuna freeze up in a situation like this. I think it might be the only time it ever happens? Before this arc, he had never been in a situation this bad. And after this arc… well, we all know he’s a bit of a changed man after this arc.

But for right now, he’s useless! At least he doesn’t just straight up abandon Gokudera, though.

This would be a great time for a really handsome fellow to make a flashy entrance.

I honestly don’t know how this smiling idiot never made it to #1 on any of the polls. Criminally underappreciated. Who do I have to fight to get him the respect he deserves.

On a side note, Tsuna’s expression when Yamamoto is going “WHE-W” is legendary. It’s such a perfect “Ohmygod what just happened… am I dead??!” look. No, Tsuna, you’re alive! You were saved by this fucking guy who’s got the best timing since the fucking T-rex at the end of the first Jurassic Park.

I can’t really blame the school, given that half its student body is currently laid out missing all their teeth. If anything they should have been closed to begin with.

Those girls from the previous chapter are just walking all over the damn town complaining about this fight. Bless you, girls.

I freaking love how Yamamoto hears “kid in a fight” and immediately thinks, “Gokudera.”

NOOOO MY LITTLE BOY [PETS HIS HEAD] [CALLS 911] [CALLS SOCIAL SERVICES] [ADOPTS!!] [KNITS HIM A WEASLEY FAMILY SWEATER!!!]

DAMN IT LOOK AT HIM JUST LYING THERE QUIETLY WITH HIS WRIST ALL FLOPPY AND HIS HAIR IN FRONT OF HIS EYES FUCK ME

Fortunately, Yamamoto knows how to express this exact same mood, but with like 1000x more aggression.

I’m not sure when exactly I started shipping 8059, but I do know that if I wasn’t already, after this panel I was all aboard that ship ready to never set foot on dry land ever again.

Also, Yamamoto is so fucking awesome Jesus Christ.

WHICH MAKES IT SO MUCH BETTER!!!

Also, later on in this chapter there’s a scene where Yamamoto cheerfully refers to it as “the mafia role-play” yet again, but you are kidding yourself if you think there’s any chance that this little murder butterfly, freshly emerged from his natural born hitman cocoon, actually believes it’s a game after this scene. GOKUDERA DYING IS NOT SPECIAL EFFECTS. I 100% believe he’s only playing along because it’s simpler that way.

Look at this idiot. Word of advice: if Yamamoto ever looks at you with that sort of expression, YOU FUCKING RUN and don’t look back. Better yet, don’t hurt his boyfriend in the first place and it won’t come to this.

ARE YOU WETTING YOUR PANTS YET CHIKUSA??

HE’S SO ANGRY sob I’m living for it so much! Also, of COURSE he’s number two on the list. Of course he is. Second only to Hibari. At least Fuuta fucking appreciates how amazing he is.

Let’s be real, he just knew Yamamoto was ready to kick his ass from here to ten years in the future.

SAVE HIM OH MY GOD!!!

CUT TO NAMIMORI JUNIOR HIGH

This makes me wish we could have gotten some sort of really tense, Godfather-esque hospital fight scene at some point in the series. I would have enjoyed that.

Anyhow, interesting that they have no problem sending the characters to the hospital in later arcs, even when it’s arguably just as dangerous (most notably during the Inheritance Arc, when someone had obviously tried to kill Yamamoto, and was still out there). So clearly, Gokudera only gets sent to the school in this instance so Shamal can be there to remind us all how useless he is. Even though he does save Gokudera’s life by treating the poison. I GUESS.

That’s going to go over real well.

Gokudera’s life in a nutshell.

I freaking love how Bianchi is constantly trying to pick a fight with Yamamoto Takeshi, the world’s nicest human. I like to think it’s because she already knows he’s going to marry her brother one day.

Yamamoto’s Chopper-esque deer-in-headlights look needs to be framed and put on my wall.

“Did you think we were done with the angst?” Amano asks, a sadistic gleam in her eye.

I was actually praying that we weren’t! And my prayers were answered.

YES TSUNA, BEAT YOURSELF UP OVER IT. LET THAT GUILT FLOW THROUGH YOU. LORD PLEASE LET NO ONE COME AND RUIN THIS WONDERFULLY ANGSTY MOMENT.

WHY CAN WE NEVER HAVE NICE THINGS IN THIS MANGA

Is he a lizard? Is he a caterpillar? Where did he come from? Why does he exist?

These are things we don’t question. Just accept and move on.

WE REALLY COULD HAVE USED YOUR HELP WHEN GOKUDERA WAS FUCKING DYING

“The most terrible of mafia criminals”, oh and also, later on, a bunch of (mostly) innocent kids whose ancestors once casually made a deadly and irresponsible bet. (I say ‘mostly’ because Kaoru was guilty of ATTEMPTED MURDER. NEVER FORGET.)

This is officially the first mention of the Vindice, though. Sure would be hilarious if these guys ended up being the final villains or something wild like that.

Yes, of course they’re the same person. Why would Reborn randomly be telling you about two completely unrelated Rokudo Mukuros?

OF COURSE THEY’RE IN THE MAFIA. WHERE ELSE WOULD KAKIPI BE HAILING FROM. THE INTERNATIONAL YO-YO FEDERATION? YOU REALLY THINK THE IYYF HAS IT IN FOR NAMIMORI STUDENTS FOR SOME REASON

Nah it still counts as mafia.

Hey, it’s Mukuro! What an elegant transition.

[INSERT NEYMAR JOKE]

Mukuro goes on to act really callous here, but take note of that “!” bubble above his head when Chikusa flops to the ground. Is he just surprised, or is could it possibly be… concern????? I honestly don’t know, so let’s just say it’s both, with him then proceeding to go all-in on the show of amused apathy right afterwards to hide it.

Oh yeah and he’s also excited because Chikusa’s finally gotten them a lead.

Were you seriously going to eat your friend why are you guys such shitheads in this arc.

I guess… he’s got a lot of faith in Chikusa, at least? Man, compared to this, Gokudera suddenly seems amazingly well off, even with his lack of a hospital, his doctor that doesn’t treat men, and his sister who’s more likely to kill him than cure him.

Reborn, please talk some sense into this spiraling young man who needs to be dragged into his leadership role of destiny by force if need be!

In all fairness, he doesn’t know he’s going to be a fucking superhero by the end of the day.

At any rate, Reborn is not the only one who thinks it’s finally Tsuna’s moment to shine!

I would kill to see one of these reports from Reborn to the Ninth. Tell me someone has written a fic about them. I’m obsessed with this.

Twelve hours?? Geez no pressure.

100 YEARS WORTH OF TOMATOES.

Tsuna. Now you gotta.

Now you really gotta.

Haha. The Ninth is sitting there at his desk like, “What should I say to motivate him? How about tomatoes? Everyone likes tomatoes. But just in case, I’ll also threaten to kill him if he says no.”

As we all know, at this stage of his development, Tsuna is fucking great under pressure, so he immediately pretends he hasn’t heard anything, screams that it has nothing to do with him, and runs off in a panic.

Which is actually exactly what he needs to do to end up getting a reality check!

NO IT’S NOT

This is exactly why Reborn is the tutor and the Ninth is just the old guy with money. “Rather than seducing him with tomatoes, I’ll just remind him that no matter what, he can’t escape this shit anyway, and if he sits around and does nothing he’s fucking screwed.”

Like, it sounds cruel, but it’s exactly what he needs to hear. Along with this.

Things I love:

Reborn’s complete faith that deep down, Tsuna already knows the right thing to do.

Reborn understanding that there’s a layer of fear/panic/anxiety that he has to cut through in order to get to that essential core of Tsuna. (I mean, that’s the very concept of the Dying Will bullet right there.)

Reborn knowing exactly what to say to activate that inner strength.

Tsuna’s scared-but-resolved face when he thinks about Ryohei and Kyoko and Gokudera.

The fact that Kusakabe is included in the montage (s-sob).

One day I will write an essay about how I believe that this single sentence sums up Reborn’s entire endgame for Tsuna in a nutshell. And when I say “endgame”, I mean endgame endgame. As in BOSS endgame.

Seriously, he’s known from the start that this is what propels Tsuna. Not fame or power. Not even “purer” abstract concepts like ~the greater good~ or ~doing the right thing~. It has to be personal; it has to be his friends, his family, someone that he cares about. Because he is thirteen, and still self-centered, and so right now, something like this is the only thing that can break through that layer of teenage apathy and reluctance. The threat has to be real and close and tangible, and it has to be personal.

And even later on, when he’s matured a bit more and is saving the future and junk, this is still the key motivator. Tsuna has so much potential to be a force for good and light and hope in the world. But if you want him to be a damn hero, you have to give him someone to save.

OR JUST GIVE HIM TOMATOES

Look at the gritted teeth. It’s working.

This is Tsuna’s equivalent of that Yamamoto rage face earlier in this chapter. Look how different it is. I love this about Tsuna.

HIBARI WASN’T ACTUALLY THE MAIN CHARACTER, THOUGH

Reborn! Tell him!

MOSTLY DEAD IS SLIGHTLY ALIVE!!!!

Half an hour after being killed, Gokudera returns good as new! Reading this chapter for the first time, ten-years-ago makeste breathes a sigh of relief that her favorite character isn’t going to get left out just when the series is finally having a real fucking arc. We got our angst and the happy ending too! BOOM, did it, had it both ways no regrets.

[INSERT MONTY PYTHON REFERENCE]

YAAAAAAY

YOU KNOW FULL WELL IT’S NOT

AND MY AXE

AND JUST LIKE THAT HE’S FUCKING DEAD AGAIN

This may just be the greatest sequence of entrances in history.

Back when they had so few fighting characters that they needed to toss in Bianchi as a fourth. Those were the days.

You shall be the Fellowship of the Rings… wait, no, that’s next arc.

I don’t know why we needed a fucking roadmap to understand this plan of “we’re going to their hideout”, but okay.

OHO, INTRIGUE

It’s Fuuta!

That’s right, friends! In addition to Hibari Kyoya, Mukuro has also kidnapped an eight-year-old. He’s so evil!

…But redemption is coming for you, you pineapple-shaped kufufuing motherfucker. Just you wait.