#I'm a librarian it's natural for me to make lists and organize everything!

[expatesque]

Do you have any advice as to how to find your first office job? Feeling quite hopeless, as I've only worked in a warehouse and now work in a call centre. I'm attending part-time university, but it still doesn't feel enough to get one as I keep getting rejected.

So my first piece of advice is that getting rejected, and getting rejected lots, is normal. It's awful and it's stressful but I don't know very many people that skated into their first job stress-free, no matter their academic credentials. So hopefully that gives you a little comfort, keep it mind when you're feeling really down about the process.

It's hard to be specific without knowing more and things would work well in one area might not work well in another. So without the specifics, my best advice is to (1) try to build up a narrative and fit the potential role into your narrative, (2) think about alternative routes or going above and beyond, and (3) think about where you're applying.

On (1): You've worked in a warehouse and now in a call center. So one approach could be to fit the things you learned in those roles into a narrative and make the job you're appluing for the natural conclusion of this path. So if you were applying for secretarial roles, you could spin something along the lines of 'Working in the warehouse taught me to be organized and efficient, but I wanted more interaction with people so I moved over to call center X. And while that was nice from an interaction perspective, I've realized that I want to help people in a more consistent way, not just once on the phone, which is why I think being a secretary would be a great match, utilising my people skills and my organizational skills.' Don't be afraid to draw on non-traditional job experiences either. Weekends spent babysitting your three young cousins? Multi tasking. Running a weekly D&D session? Reliability, event planning, organization.

The idea here is you're building up a narrative and you're showing how your skills (wherever attained) fit and why the natural conclusion of all this is that you should get the job. It's much more storytelling than list making, particularly when you don't have the most natural experience. And make sure everything you submit is grammar and spelling perfect (have a friend or family member or even a friendly local librarian check).

On (2): this is going to be location and, to an extent, industry specific but think about if there's anything slightly alternative or above and beyond you could do. For example, in Chicago if you were applying for a role in a small business, coming around the office to drop off your application in person would go down really well (maybe call first to check people are in the office in the days of hybrid working). In the UK, there are apprenticeship programs available that might be a good fit (my company does them! You'd be surprised how many there are). It's hard to be too specific here, but things that show you're dedicated and committed can help. And going along with that...

(3): Think about where you're applying. If you have a slightly more alternative background, it can be easier to get your foot in the door in companies that are more flexible. Small businesses are generally your friend here, they're often looking for a person who's a good fit rather than the exact right experience. A big law firm is less likely to hire someone without relevant experience than a local high street lawyer, so consider concentrating your efforts. And if you do live in a smaller, tighter knit community, going around (dressed professionally) to local businesses and explaining who you are, handing out CVs and asking them to keep you in mind if they need any help might be a good idea.

Good luck pal, I'm rooting for you. This is going to be hard, but you only need one job, and after getting the first one it gets easier. Try not to get too discouraged, keep plugging away and eventually something will come. Good luck!

[ladylillianrose]

Lenny Scenes/Appearances Seasons 1-4

Did I make a list of all the times Lenny appears? Why yes, yes I did. I included some of my favorite quotes from the moments, basically what my brain refers to the scenes as.

Season 1:

1x01

Blonde Midge sees Lenny at a strip club with Joel:

“These kids...8 and 9-year-old... were sniffing airplane glue to get high on. These kids are responsible for turning musicians on to a lot of things they never knew about, actually.”

In the back of the Police Car when Midge get’s arrested:

“Yeah, yeah. You can bitch all about it to your friend in the back seat there" “HEY! HEY! HEY!” “Hey” “Hi.”

Midge Bails Lenny Out:

"Leonard, you can either eat a guy's head, or do two weeks at the Copa, I'd say "Pass the fucking salt." It's a terrible, terrible job. It should not exist. Like cancer. And God.

1x02

Lenny comes back for cab fare:

“And next up in a night full of triumphs, uh, Honey forgot to tell the cabdriver to turn the meter off. He's up to 20 bucks and refuses to get paid in weed, so I was wondering if maybe you...”

Offers to help Midge find a lawyer:

“My advice, be your own lawyer.”

1x03

Lenny bails Midge out of Jail:

“I was working down the street, heard some cute uptown chick got arrested doing a set. I put two and two together.”

Meets up at Diner with Susie: 

“I have to appear in court.” “Oh, what's more fun than that? - A late-in-life bris, that's more fun.”

Village Vanguard Jazz Club:

“Two for me.” “We're talking about getting arrested.” “Yeah.” “For jaywalking or something?” “Profanity. Indecent exposure.” (Lenny looks proud)

Midge impromptu set while high: 

“Is Lenny Bruce boring at home? Like, at home is he all, "Have you seen my red socks?" And then he comes on stage and he's all, "I'm gonna put a little airplane glue on a rag and fuck, shit, cock, prick."

Post-Vanguard Jazz Club:

“Was I supposed to make a pass at you?”

1x08

Susie asks Lenny to do the Gaslight for Midge:

 “Don't do it for me. Do it for Midge.” “Midge?” “Yeah. Midge.” “Oh, Midge. Well, well, well. All hail the Upper West Side.”

Lenny does the Gaslight for Midge:

“I am doing what is unheard of in this business. It's called a very nice thing.” 

“So, indulge me, because I think she's going to be very big and she's a hell of a lot easier on the eyes than I am.”

Season 2:

2x01

Continuation of Gaslight:

“Will Elizabeth Taylor become Bar Mitzvah'ed? No, I promise continuity, I'll behave myself. I'll do all the lines that we rehearsed."

2x05

Midge takes Benjamin to see Lenny's show:

"Who's here?" "You're not gonna believe me, you're gonna think I've been drinking." "All right, who's here?" "Christ and Moses."

“Uh, this table is on me. Buy her a soda. And have her home by 10:00.”

Benjamin and Midge at the Diner:

“So Lenny Bruce?” “We did not.” “Had to ask.”

2x10

Talk in the bar after Midge gets pulled offstage:

“Sometimes, I think, "Is it worth it?" And, sometimes, I think, "No." I'm Sisyphus, without the fabulous hair and the loincloth, pushing that boulder up that hill over and over and over.”

“Want me to come stand outside your playdate?” “You are lovely. Yes, a little moral support never hurts.” “Okay.” “I want you to know that I am feeling...a little emasculated right now. I don't really mind it, actually. Sunday night 8-o’clock. Bring an umbrella”

Steve Allen Show:

 “It's all right, Perry. She's my mother.” “You didn't leave my name. Perry's having a heart attack.”

“I finally got rid of her.” “How'd you do that?” “She left me.”

“All Alone”

Season 3:

3x01

Flowers sent to Midge (Lenny not actually in this scene):

"Dear Upper West Side, thank you for bringing your umbrella. I'm at The Den Friday and Saturday night if you feel like dropping by. If not, I'll see you next time I'm in town. Lenny.”

Abe goes to see Lenny’s set "Miss December" both get arrested:

“Listen to the man, he's wearing two sweaters.”

Gets bailed out by Abe and Rose:

“You bailed me out?” “Yes. Well, she” “I bailed you out.” “Okay. Thanks.” “I thanked him for the flowers.”

3x05

Midge at the bar:

“You know, it's weird, I never picture you living anywhere. You just exist.” “Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I do live places, and right now, it's here. I got a key, I get mail, I wear an apron.” “Must go good with that tie.” “I heard Shy was in town, so I thought I would stop by and say hello. Hello. Good-bye.”

“3:00 in the afternoon a pen, a notebook and a drink. All you need is a social disease, and you are officially a road comic.”

Picks Midge up after her set:

“I am very famous and important.” “Mr. Bruce is my mother.”

Miami After Dark:

“But actually, Brye, I'm here with someone special tonight. Someone I love dearly, almost as much as I love myself. Uh uh, sweetheart? Where are Ah, there you are.”

“Brye, I'd like you to meet my wife or possibly my sister. What are you, my wife or my sister?” “Depends on what state we're in.” “Let's go, wife. What the hell?”

Loco Amore:

“You're still staring.” “So are you.” “Come on. We're gonna dance.” “You dance?” “Well, we're certainly gonna find out.”

Lenny’s Hotel:

“I really thought if we stayed long enough, there'd be a human sacrifice.” “Oh, no, that's on Wednesdays.” “Well, we'll just have to go back.” “Anytime you like.” “I had a good time.” “That was the intent.”

“Hey. Maybe someday.Before I'm dead.” “It’s a date.”

Season 4:

4x03

Lenny shows up at the Wolford:

“You want me to go away?” “Yes.” “Because I would make you nervous.” ‘You would make me nervous. Don't smile. Bad smile.”

“No. This isn't Bellmore.” “Everything is Bellmore.” “Mrs. Maisel. Time to start the show.” “I think it's time to start the show.” “Fine. Stay. But do not sit where I can see you.” “Oh, now I'm definitely gonna sit where you can see me.” “Shit.”

Lenny and the fellas throw everything but the kitchen sink at Midge during her set.

4x05

No appearance on screen but Midge stops the cab to get him where he's passed out on the sidewalk:

 “Wait. Wait, stop.” “What?” “Pullover. Shit.”

4x06

Lenny wakes up in Midge’s apartment and is a hot mess:

“Well, last night, I was driving home from the club, and I saw you passed out on the ground. I tried to ask you where you were staying, and you said, "Nice hair."”  “I said, "Nice hair"?”  “No, but for the sake of our friendship, let's stick with "hair."”

“Hey. Drama queen.”

“You do know you're acting like a child, right?” “Of course, I'm acting like a child. I'm a comedian.”

“We discuss debauchery and pornography. We make jokes about dictators coming over for dinner. Ten minutes on how Stalin likes his steak. We don't wear aprons and discuss potty training.”

4x07

On the Gordon Ford tv show promoting Carnegie Hall:

“So, Carnegie Hall, you nervous about filling the place?” “Not until about three seconds ago, Gordy, no.” “Yeah, but you don't have performance anxiety anymore, do you, Lenny?”

“Folks, this is Lenny Bruce. Asking you to please, please come to my show at the hall they call Carnegie. My self-esteem is at risk here. A less-than-sold-out show would shatter my fragile ego and hurt something very dear to the lawyers of America, my bank account.”

4x08

Apology at the strip club post-Midge's set:

“I am suddenly important enough for redecorating. Please be impressed.” “I am impressed.”

“So I talked you up. Told them you do swell heart attack humor.”

Police Raid/Run to the hotel:

“My shoes, my feet. It's cold.” “You'd be terrible to go on the lam with, by the way.” “Can't you carry me?”  “Carry you?” “Yeah, you know, throw me over your shoulder.” “Who am I, Santa Claus? You're a young, strong woman. Here.”  “What do I do with this?” “Fill me in on what's going on with Castro and the rebels. Put it on your head.” “Where are you going?” “I have to get you to shelter.” “Aren't you gonna pay for the papers?” “It's a snowstorm.” “So what?” “The man has to make a living.” “How do you know? The newsstand could be a hobby.” “If I had my purse, I'd pay.”  “If I had your purse, I'd pay.” “Wh-what if there's a hell?” “Oh, I don't believe this.” “What if the rabbis are wrong and there is a hell and this is the moment our fate is decided?” “Believe me, honey, if there's a hell, I'm the headliner.”

Hotel Lobby:

“You hear that? "Mr. Bruce." You play Carnegie Hall, you get "Mr. Bruce."”

The Blue Room:

“I think there are many things about you men would find wildly attractive.”

“You are more important than God.” “You paid attention.” “To you? Always.”

“Midge?” “Yeah?” “I got to see the show corset.”

“Yep. Just like mine.”

“Nope.” “I’ll be right back.”

On the phone-“Are you kidding me? This is the textbook definition of a 'not a good time'"

“Now, get dressed. We'll go spring the riffraff, and then I'll take you for some truly terrible Chinese food, okay?”

Carnegie Hall:

“Is there anyone out there?” “I don't know, man. Go out there and look.” “No, I'm not gonna go out there and look.” “Does it matter? Will it change anything?” “It's fine. I'll just go out there and entertain whatever junkie wandered in from Times Square.” “Won't be the first time.”

“Usually, I go out with chicks that are between 30 and 40, because they're usually divorced and good and bitter, too, you know. But the hang-up is, where can you go at 7 in the morning? And every chick I know who's divorced has got a seven-year-old kid.”

Post Carnegie/Fight:

“Ah! Ha! There she is. Everyone, this is Midge Maisel. Mrs., to those in the know.”

“Okay. Let's put aside for a moment that I went to bat for you for that job. I mean, really, I turned down their price three times. "No, she can't work for that. Do you have any idea what you're getting here?" That's on me. You didn't ask me to do that, so I'm the schmuck there.”

“I'm at Carnegie Hall. I've got five minutes where maybe I can help you before I'm thrown out of the club again.”

“Jesus Christ, Midge. What a fucking pedestal you put me on. Getting arrested is not a badge of honor. Getting arrested means I can't work where I want to work. People are afraid of booking me.”

“I want people to fucking laugh. Think and laugh, sure, but laugh. I'm a comic. An entertainer. Baggy pants, banana peels. I'm not the stand-up messiah.”

“You wanted me to remember you're funny, right? That night? You didn't want me to think of you as just a girl. You wanted me to think of you as a comic. Well, don't you forget that I'm a comic, too. Don't you dare look at me as someone to be pitied or helped or fixed. I do not want or need that, especially from you.”

“If you blow this, Midge, I swear....you will break my f*cking heart.”