#I'm happy he didn't instantly steal first place but he did make my top 3😮‍💨 points were made

[simeonist]

Wedding Lonely Devil Proposals Ranked Part 2

3. Mammon

Oh my gooooddd

Nightmare. Literal nightmare proposal. Four little words made my stomach clench irl.

There's no way I could fake happiness if this happened to me. Even if I loved them. I didn't wanna be mean since Mammon's in my top 3 but yeah...Lucifer was right. This is hell. This is cringe hell.

So why #3? Well.

🎆🎇🧨SIMEON JUMP SCARE!!! 🧨🎇🎆

Simeon, cheerful, supportive, and always up for fun time, makes a cameo in the flash mob Mammon apparently forced the transfers to do. And complementing Simeon's joyous appearance?

An incredibly miserable Solomon! It was indescribably beautiful seeing him writhe in embarrassment for this awful plan. Any pain on my face would have faded once Simeon stepped in and melted away completely after Solomon's agonized dance. Thank you Mammon for my life.

Sadly, I can't rank Mammon's higher because technically speaking "two hot guys (one who I like more than you) made me smile" is not what most would call an ideal proposal. 3.5 barely contained panic attacks in a public venue out of 5.

2. Levi

Everyone's proposal kind of sucks and I can't say Levi is an exception. He programs a game for you, wildly misjudges your capabilities, backseat games, then ends up beating the whole thing for you. Whoops.

But sucking is in Levi's nature and the way he fucks up is organic to who he is - he even acknowledges it in his proposal speech.

I found it endearing and sweet. This proposal was genuine, held personal significance, took effort, and was overall a warm experience. Also, kudos for creating a game where the protagonist is supposed to be me and saying you want to take on life's struggles together. Someone lower on this list should take notes…

The only reason Levi doesn't clear first place is because he did kind of fuck it up. But I appreciate the hard work that went into it. I would say yes. 4 poorly considered video game recs out of 5.

And finally(ish)

1. Beel!

He is so so so cute, from his bouquet of vegetables to fighting the urge to eat the cake he made for you. Making my favorite cake with a ring in it isn't all that grand but a) I'll keep it real with you: none of the proposals are and b) I don't need a grand proposal. I just want it to feel meaningful. Just a bit of creativity, something that holds significance, and also I'm not dying of embarrassment. It's relevant to his theme, it's fun, it has thought out into it, and it requires some self-restraint on his end. Beautiful.

5 wedding cakes made with buttercream frosting out of 5.

Finally.

Lucifer

I intentionally ranked everybody before watching his because I knew this smug jackass would do some shit that might affect my rankings. I needed to be confident in my opinion.

Fucker. Humiliating how well this would work on me.

True #3. Lucifer

Sorry Mammon :(