#I'm just venting cos as a writer I fucking hate shit like this

[dragongirltongue]

just had tum6lr "6ased on your likes" me an owl house AU where Belos is a good and reasona6le guy and I'm just fucking screaming. It's a complete fucking middle finger to the purpose of his character.

Like I get fandom runs on a do what you want mentality with every single story it gets hold of 6ut like, I fucking hate this.

6locked OP immediately lol.

fandom always needs to make the evil white guy into someone sympathetic one way or another I guess, ugh.

[selchwife]

man. this isnt me venting its just a really long ramble about fictosexual stuff lol

i read this scholarly article about fictosexuality (first ever?) and it's really making me think. in particular i'm Thinking bc how i found it was through a new york post article, and i saw in the tag that recently there was also a docuseries that touched on fictosexuality as well. i'm wondering if it won't get more mainstream public exposure as a concept/orientation soon.

it's a topic i've been thinking about for a few years. when i used to be on the reddits it was something that came up a lot, like it seemed like every other day someone would be insisting they were planning to make a documentary or write an article or something and plenty of people on there jumped at the chance to do any sort of interview or participate in anything even the slightest bit "official" in order to make their case about why it's totally okay actually. a lot of people would discuss wanting to be more open about their relationships or for there to be a way to validate their legitimacy in the eyes of other, non-ficto people and so on.

i used to really hate it, honestly. not because i think anything's wrong with being serious about fictional characters (....obviously lol), but because i just felt like it was pointless. i didn't ever feel like it was something that would receive any kind of mainstream exposure like in documentaries or news articles or academic research or what have you to begin with. and like, tbh i infinitely preferred it that way. i always felt like trying to Advocate For Fictosexuality would ruin the sense of privacy that i always found particularly comforting. i always preferred feeling like it's a very closed community that few other people would ever notice or take interest in, and which was therefore relatively safe from masses of spectators, onlookers, gawkers, etc & co. i felt like the worst thing that could happen would be if some major news outlet published some kind of human interest piece about it and Suddenly Everyone Knew and it was a Topic Of Discussion Among The Uninitiated. can you fucking imagine?

anyway, i still hope that's going to continue to be the case, for the most part. i'd like more academic interest in the topic, but The Public is absolutely free to leave me the hell alone. i prefer keeping this kind of thing private. i used to really agonize about whether to say i was single or not, for instance, and now i'm like "just lie. say you're single. it's technically true as far as they're concerned and also your gay marriage with your anime boy is sacrosanct, so don't tell randos all about it." i sort of inhabit a halfway space where i simultaneously am and am not single and only sort of identify as fictosexual and aside from participating in communities and spaces geared toward or sympathetic to this sort of thing i Keep My Damn Trap Shut! and i think it would be a real bummer if one day i woke up and, like, Mothers Of Three On Facebook were posting about fictosexuality bc it was in the huffington post or some shit

it does kind of feel silly to me in retrospect however to assume that it's something that would remain completely obscure and secret forever. the same slow sort of public exposure has happened to plenty of other niche communities so there's no reason to believe people won't eventually just Know about fictosexuality to some extent the way they do about fanfic writers or furries or whatever else. Fucking mortifying but it could happen

[keysimash]

Hello!!

I do not want to be bothering or rude, I am just curious if you’ve had time or energy to continue Leave, I still love the story so much and am looking forward to find out how it goes!!

But if not it’s ok, I just hope you have a nice day no matter what!! <3

Short answer , it's not discontinued but idk when I will work on it again. Sorry to be a disappointment

Long answer you probably dont want to read

I hate it. I can't even read it. I like my story, I like the plans I HAVE for the story, I just.... cant read my own writing. And this isn't some kind of compliment fishing either, it's gotten to the point I dont even like getting nice comments about it on my ao3 inbox anymore.

I sit down to work on it and I just... can't. All I can think about is how cringy it sounds ... and how bad it is, etc etc

Logically I know I'm actually a pretty good writer. But all I see when I look at this shit is mistakes.

And I come across in my writing as... way too emotional and earnest? If that makes any sense. I've mentioned I never made a plot outline, that shit is sooo obvious when i read it. And how I changed the plot three or four times. And how I changed the plot every time I got upset.

I used to not give a fuck about appealing to other people when I wrote because I didnt have anyone whose opinion I cared about reading it but now I feel like I have to write it not shittily or I'll disappoint everyone and myself. And I'm not capable of writing it not shittily right now because I would

a) have to build off the disjointed skeleton I've already made that's got plot holes and mischaracterizations

b) start over from scratch

And I can't do it right now! I cant!

I keep thinking about how my best friend told me I shouldn't put vent art on the internet at all. I feel disgusting now almost. Like people that take pics of their cuts and post em. I know shes full of shit but I cant shake the feeling. That it's my fault if I trigger somebody. That by writing anything that isnt a joke or fluff I'm doing something gross and self-masturbatory and harmful. "If you interpret the characters in a way the author didnt want you're just wrong..." that's what she said.. Its kirby and Meta knight and magolor for gods sake. What am I doing trying to make a gritty realistic darkfic... from a kids game.... cringe.... (only me tho. Nobody else counts)

Even my other works for other fandoms, it almost feels like they're on a timer as soon as I post them. I go "I like that, that's good" and post, and then a few days later I'm like "oh . That's shit now" and it has nothing to do with engagement or anything, its just like an arbitrary switch flipped in my brain

The only time I was writing well and writing consistently... was when I was being abused... I feel like I've lost my spark ... because maybe the only time I can make anything good is when I'm under so much emotional pressure I feel like I'm about to snap.... but if that were true I should be writing right now haha.

And I can sit here and know all these things, that when I'm stressed my thought process goes all stupid, that I'm actually a good writer, that I'm not hurting anybody by the fic I post, that writing something shit is better than not writing anything at all, but it doesn't do anything to change how I feel.

But. I did say it's not discontinued, didnt I?

If its stressing me out so much well why dont I delete it, well the answer to that is I HATE HATE HATE when authors delete their good shit.... deep down I know a lot of people love my stories and that they have some worth... that's why I haven't deleted them all...

I love writing, still.... writing for cotl feels less bad than kirby cos.. it feels like its expected to be edgy and dark, so I dont feel bad about what I write until later at least... but I still love to write and create....

I just need some time... I miss writing kirby stuff but I just can't face my own writing. I cant face myself. And it order to start writing again -- I think that's my problem. I would have to forgive myself for not being perfect. I would have to admit that , like my writing , its okay to love myself/my writing even with the manymanymany .flaws.

I can't. Not right now. Maybe later tho

I didnt have that last revelation before. Not until I wrote everything out. When I was trying to explain all my feelings to someone else , I ended up explaining it to myself. This post was long overdue anyway

Sorry

[witchofthevale]

I think there is type of people who have problems irl and they go venting and sending rude asks to people in every fandom because that is how they cope with anger. It's wrong though. I have anger issues but I am on therapy for 5 years and I learned to be part of fandom by using block button. I have specific criteria about hotd fandom. Anti Alicent blog? Block. Pro Daemon Targaryen blog? Block. Pro Viserys Targaryen? Block. Shitting on Alys and Gayle before she even appeared on screen? Block. Writing smut with tropes I don't like? Block. I am very picky, but it's impossible to try to engage with everyone esp when they like characters I hate. I know new users read every Aemond fic even though they don't enjoy them because they feel pressured to read each of them because they want to fit in. My advice is: don't read things that disturb you. Read 3 chapters of each fic writer and ask yourself Do I really enjoy it? Or it's meh for me? It's okay to dislike a fic. It's okay to block people so you'll never hear from them again. Feel no shame in blocking people. For me blocking people I don't vibe with it's like taking out the trash. It's good when they're not around.

Fun quip just because it's relative, but I started reading this right when my melatonin kicked in and I tried to figure out the tone if I was getting my first anon hate just from the paranoia of recent events jshdjshd. Sorry, too funny and actually quite sad not to share lol. I just felt discombobulated by getting this and at the random time ahaha!

Anyways, this is a lot and I wanna reply properly, have Elle's off-tangent reply thoughts because ADHD and 3am. I think I'm still coherent.

I mean for the most part, nons, I agree with your core sentiment. Block button is definitely good for sanctifying your space, in a place like fandom where you will interact with a level of unrestrained level of self expression, anything that helps you make it easier to navigate such a thing is basic form of self preservation.

For most of us, fandom is a space of comfort and when ugly shit rises, it really hits hard because your comfort is being threatened.

For another, if it's truly engaging and making friends is your goal (even if it's not, it's just how fandom as an ecosystem works)— or just the FOMO of not being a part of the fun because you've literally blocked 90% of people — sure it's difficult to really be part of it if you're blocking left and right. Which is also why I'd like to offer and employ the ignorance is bliss system.

Like you said, there are certain things you might not agree with someone you're moots with/follow but as a whole, you still want to engage with them. It's just how individuality works, and that's okay too. Just because you and another person can't agree on the one thing— character, team, whatever the fuck — you can just skip and scroll, and mind your business.

And at the same time, you can still be able to connect with the parts that you do like/have in common with the person.

Just a tip since I actually use the block button sparingly (unless you're a bot lol). But if blocking is what comforts and sanctifies your experience, have at it! I hope you're in a sweet space where you feel at your most comfort because that is what fandom is supposed to be. We're here to have fun and it's truly fucked up to see that tainted with ugliness.

On that note, I can't begin to start wondering why people send hate.

I'm a very lazy person, nons. I cannot imagine myself going through someone's Ask, toggling on the Anon button (again, as a lazy person, it is such a big step to even do this part 'cos then it asks you if you're sure and you have to click again please I cannot), and writing your pièce de résistance like you aren't going to be pitied.

Because in the end, what you look like— to me at least — is a sad, sorta masochistic coward who needs that anon button to feel safe because you know what you just sent is cruel, unwarranted, and something you would never be able to spit in a person's face, much less mumble.

I cannot begin to unravel why someone would do this. I don't want to try. I've been in fandom spaces since 2012, at the height of shipping wars, fruit NSFW tagging, and feet fetish scammers to name a few.

Whatever catharsis they feel at being able to receive a reply is only temporary cos at the end of the day, they sent that through anon for a reason. They know what they did was shameful.

And if you can't even do it with your full chest, why would I bother lol?

I'm personally a lazy person and tired from irl when I come to fandom spaces to detangle and have fun. I cannot be bothered with you.

But yeah no, I dunno. People can do whatever they want with their blogs, it's their space. Block, ignore, whatever. I like where I'm at, I enjoy my little corner of fandom. I adore so much of my moots and have fun interacting with everybody so far.

I'm glad you've curated your space though, nons! And I agree that you can wholeheartedly dislike a fic. Not everything's going to be for you and that's okay.

PS. Do people really feel pressured to read for Aemond omg? I personally never did, I got back into fanfiction because of Aemond fanfics actually ahahaha! I just lurked around before 'cos I watched HOTD late; too many months later 'cos my best friend watched it first and she's a hardcore ASOIAF girlie and she ranted ahahaha!

When I braved it, I just watched it as a separate entity and had fun 'cos the actors were really good and somehow, I jumped back in fandom space enough to write lol

[ml-salt-central]

"Gabriel Agreste" Salt (I forgot this episode came out today):

Gabriel, please die...

Okay, Canon! Felix might be an asshole but he makes Gabriel miserable and that alone honestly makes him one of the best characters in this godforsaken show (Although a line in this episode makes me worry about him a lot...)

Nathalie, please die...

Oh yay! The class is enabling Marinette's stalking... AGAIN! ISN'T THAT JUST LOVELY?!

Okay but why the fuck do the 2D drawings Nathaniel made for his and Marc's dumbass plan look so GOOD?! They have no right to be this amazing

Ew, Zoé

Okay, I hate how Chloé keeps being portrayed as a complete asshole but her coming down a vent on a harness like a goddamn super spy was iconic ngl, that's some queen shit

I know Chloé is supposed to be in the wrong here but like... Gabriel taking Adrien out of the school over seeing the video Chloé filmed of Marinette and co scheeming would actually be a reasonable reaction? Like as a parent how would you react if you found out that not only was one of your son's classmates stalking him but that the rest of the class was enabling and encouraging said stalker? Like I'm not rooting for Marinette and her friends here! What they're doing is GROSS!!!!

Okay, I'm getting tired of people being blind in this show, Marinette putting on a moustache is apparently enough to convice everyone that she's a male server, what the fuck?!

God, I love Felix being a sneaky little shit! Yes, Gabriel, keep throwing those tantrums! Seeing you suffer brings me so much joy!!!!!

Okay but it's so wild to me that Felix has only been in TWO episodes so far and has done more investigating on Hawkmoth than our two main heroes have done in FOUR SEASONS!!!!

Again, I am not rooting for Marinette to stop Chloé from showing Gabriel evidence of her and her enablers being creepy

Okay so, the scene where Gabriel threatens Felix can mean two things with the way it was worded, acording to the subtitles I got Gabriel said that he could make Felix disappear with just a snap of his finger which means that either 1. Felix is a sentimonster or 2. Gabriel is threatening an actual literal child, I really hope it's the second option... because if it's the first one then Felix, the only character who has put any effort into finding out who Hawkmoth is, can now just be erased from existence whenever the writers feel like it, isn't that great?! Like this show's writing is so bad that I wouldn't put it pass them...

Felix resisted both an Akuma and an Amok, we stan

Okay, the Collector using a tablet instead of a book this time around is a neat twists to his power but... he still has the same power as many other akumatized villains and I'm not a fan of repeat akumas so... yeah

Why the fuck did Kagami even try to fight the Collector? Like, girl, you don't even have a miraculous, what the fuck are you even hoping to accomplish?

The akuma battle is nothing special so it's not worth talking about

Chloé's plans are ruined because of course they are

Gabriel's plan to make the magical charms useless in the same season they were introduced in begins

Felix still knows that Gabriel is Hawkmoth, good thing that stuck at least (I am still incredibly worried about him...)

The stalker and her enablers came out victorious, yay...

Tfw Felix feels more like Gabriel's archenemy than Ladybug and Chat Noir

In conclusion:

Felix being a sentimonster is just as stupid of a concept as Adrien being one like... WHY?! WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT OF THIS?! WHY COULDN'T AMELIE AND EMELIE HAVE HUMAN CHILDREN?! WHAT WOULD THIS EVEN ADD TO THE PLOT?! WHAT EVEN IS THIS WRITING?! But, these concepts are stupid and nonsensical enough to actually be canon... considering the writing of this show so... I am afraid.