#I'm lucky to be near so many theaters in the first place

[essegigi]

When there's a revival for one of your favorite musicals playing locally but every ad just reminds you how much you don't care for the new costume designs...

[1800naveen]

Chapter 27 of ACOWAR

When I first read ACOWAR and got to the part where Mor is having a breakdown about her dad entering Velaris but Rhysand tells her that he won't get in, nothing really was going through my mind. But something clicked today...

This. Just this. This paragraph made me realize that this is Jim Crow. Sarah Janet Maas, did you create the fairy version of Jim Crow? Has anyone else notice this?

In the late 19th century, these laws were created in the Southern part of the US which legalized racial segregation of the black community and other people of color. Black and white students attended separate schools, with black schools typically receiving far less funding and resources. Restaurants, theaters, hotels, parks, drinking fountains, you name it, were segregated.

Black people weren't welcomed almost anywhere. Signs that said "whites only" to keep them away and racists who would get agitated over a black person coming near their establishment. Lynch mobs chasing them, burning buildings associated with the black community, etc.

This also reminds me of ICE or border patrol. The people who deal with immigrants and will send them back to their countries, the same country that they left behind so that they can have a better life for themselves and their family.

Imagine finally leaving Hewn City. You feel a mix of emotions but happiness is one that fills you. You're finally free and you can see the world now! When you go to Velaris, you notice that some things are strange. People look at you funny, they treat you almost as if you're a criminal, they don't serve you at restaurants, they won't let you have a place of shelter, and you can't even have fun. It clicks in your head that this is not a safe, welcoming place for people like you. When it comes to an end, you're sent back into the darkness that you were came from, where you were born from, and you wonder if you'll ever see the light again.

I'm the daughter of two immigrants who left their country due to a civil war and they haven't been back since they left. When they came to America, it was all before shit like that was more serious so they were lucky not to deal with this crap. In many African countries (including my own), we have tribes AKA ethnic groups. Sarah's description of Illyria and the Illyrians makes me think of the dumb stereotypes of Africans. That we live in huts, that we hunt with bow and arrows or spears, that we're primitive, etc. You can tell in Sarah's writing that she has never actually experienced the things she writes.

I feel sad reading this again and knowing what that's the equivalent of. The woman doesn't even bother to hide her racism. Who am I kidding? If she used a black woman's death to promote her book, she can do shit like this! Sarah, you little white-privileged bitch.

How the Illyrians are portrayed as violent, savage, warmongering people who have a patriarchal system and are based on brown/indigenous people remind of George RR Martin's portrayal of the Dothraki who are nomadic warriors that are seen as brutes, warmongers, people who don't have any respect for their natural surroundings, have a patriarchal system, and their men treat women worse than the Illyrians. These guys are based on the Mongolians. I know George wrote this in the 90s and stuff but there had to be something based on portraying a culture into your fictional story.

My honest reaction to Sarah creating the fairy equivalent of the Jim Crow laws and ICE/border patrol:

Me realizing that if there's major problem that different groups of POC faces, she'll somehow put it in her books so that her white main characters can face it, so that they can finally be the ones that get oppressed:

SJM when you tell her that making her white main characters go through and face problems that people of color have struggled and dealt with for years isn't right:

[luckylolabug]

What made you decide to have Seb's family be Mormon???? Just curious lol

Oooh, boy, time for me to stand on my Newsies box and shout from the rooftops. My time has come.

Longer explanation under the cut, but TL;DR it's a lot of context clues based on the very minimal we see in the show, compared to my own personal experience growing up in Utah where a HUGE chunk of my school and also my best friends were from LDS families. Take it with a grain of salt of course, everyone's allowed to headcanon their own thing!

Long answer:

Partially, because he comes from a homesteading farming family, and my personal ideal is that puts him out near Farmington which as far as religions go, is 78% LDS by population. That's a HUGE chunk, and there's too many kids in drama club for at least ONE of them to not come from a predominantly mormon upbringing, honestly likely more than one. But if I'm picking someone out of their group that is most likely to lean into it, it's Seb. Sorry not sorry.

Mormons have traditionally large families, I say this with love. We don't know his family PERSONALLY but we know they bought out three entire rows of bleachers to come see his performance. I had moments before then in Season 1 (which I'll touch on in a second) where I started slowly leaning towards my personal thought process that he might come from an LDS upbringing, but it was the moment he pointed his giant family out that really sealed the deal for me. Also, sorry, but it's a giant family of blondes with blue eyes in Utah? The theory writes itself.

A lot of the happy-go-lucky and almost naive at times energy he has is SO surrounded in that culture to me that it's really hard for me unsee it. I went to school with at least six guys that looked and spoke exactly like Seb did as far as his wording goes, and every single one of those was either a deacon or had some leadership role in their church in high school.

This one's a bit more personal, because I went through my own similar experience (though my family is Jewish and not LDS) as well as physically watching one of my best friends in high school go through the exact same plotline. But the smidge we get in season 4 about not being out to his dad yet and being nervous about it really hit my religious trauma like a TRUCK, and my friend who went through it when we were in HS (her dad was a bishop, so it was REALLY hard for her to admit her sexuality for a long time) has said the same thing. Coming out experiences in general can be extremely scary before they're freeing, and when you're growing up as a queer person in Utah, you're not only worried about your family, but also the fact that a seriously good chunk of the state population is religious and conservative. I never personally came to terms with my own sexuality until I moved out of the state after I graduated, but my entire upbringing there was pretttttty pressurized and I felt like I had to follow a lot of social standards that didn't apply to me at all. Hiding a big part of yourself from the people you love sucks!

Another projection, but it tracks, is finding who you really are as a theater kid. (Think the brief "Im home" scene when he's in Sharpay's costume for the first time) I had *multiple* LDS friends (plus me as the group's Jewish gal) who fell into theater and discovered how to be themselves because of it, and it was almost like a second person entirely. A place and group of people that you could finally be who you were supposed to be around. That's sort of the vibe I'm going with as far as Seb's character development in my re-write series, because it's incredibly important to me.

Anyways. Thank you for asking because clearly I have SO many thoughts on this subject.

[greensparty]

Coolidge Corner Theatre Expansion

This past December, the Coolidge Corner Theatre in Brookline, MA celebrated its 90th birthday! It is one of my favorite movie theaters in the world and more than a few cinephiles agree with me on that. It is one of the most prominent and respected independently owned and operated indie movie theaters in the U.S. I first went there as a teen around 1991 when my friend brought me to see Spike and Mike’s Festival of Animation there. It was such a cool grand cinema and they play older films as well as indie films. Over the years, I’ve seen countless films there including the re-release of The Graduate, a midnight showing of 12 Monkeys, anniversary screenings of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and 2001: A Space Odyssey, a concert that followed Echo in the Canyon, and of course Independent Film Festival Boston screenings. But of all the awesome films I’ve seen there over the years, my favorite was in 2018 when they did a special one-night sold-out screening of my documentary Life on the V: The Story of V66! Another very special memory I have of Coolidge Corner Theatre happened in June 2021: I hadn’t been to a movie theater in over a year. My return to the cinema happened a few weeks after I had gotten my COVID vaccine and I went to the Coolidge to see one of my favorite movies of all time, David Lynch’s Blue Velvet! So I guess you could say I'm a big fan of the Coolidge!

ribbon cutting at Coolidge Corner Theatre's new expansion

But this week the big news today is that Coolidge Corner Theatre has unveiled their new expansion. The existing Coolidge Corner Theatre we know and love is still there (the big movie house, the three smaller cinemas), but now they have and extended lobby and concession stand near the back entrance by the municipal parking lot, two new cinemas (movie house 5 is red and 6 is blue!), as well as an education and community engagement center for classes, private events and more! It opens to the public today with both The Wizard of Oz and 2001 screening in the new cinemas.

Coolidge's new movie house 5, lobby, movie house 6, and reception area

Yesterday I got to attend the ribbon-cutting of the new expansion and look at the new space. The common theme from everyone's remarks was how lucky we are to have Coolidge Corner Theatre in this area. It's very true! At a time when so many movie theaters are closing, Coolidge Corner Theatre isn't just swinging it out of the park with their projection, sound, curation of old movies and new indies, they are actually expanding and going to be able to show more films and be a place for more art and culture in the area. Great news all around!

For more info on Coolidge Corner Theatre and their expansion

[goldenmazzello]

Lay all your love on me | Part 3

(I don't own this gif. Credits to the owner)

Warning: Language, angst, cheating, stress, innuendo?, mention of songs. 

W/C: 5.6k.

MASTERLIST

~

Friday. It was finally friday, the day for the audition. You spent the last four days rehearsing for the audition, maybe the biggest and most important one you've ever had. You were so nervous that you could barely close your eyes and sleep. Now, you couldn't remember how many times you watched Grease on Netflix or how many times you watched videos on YouTube in such little time.

Now, you were with Joe in his living room. You asked him for help since you felt a bit mousy to ask Aaron to practice with you because you've just met him. However, he sent you some messages giving you some tips to remember during your audition. You were so glad he told you that because he had experience in Broadway, it wasn't his first time there. And for the same reason, you wondered if you were really going to get the role or if you were going to make a dog's dinner of it again as the last one.

You put Grease on his tv and rapidly pause it at the very beginning where Danny and Sandy were at the beach, the place they met vacationing, holding each other's waist and looking at each other with love and angst at the same time as they were going separate ways due to the end of the summer and Sandy had to come back to Australia.

"Okay so, now, come here please." You grabbed Joe's arm and made him get up from the sofa. Joe chuckled. You indicated him how to pose his hands on you and posed yours on him. "You remember this line, don't you?" You asked raising an eyebrow.

"Of course, we've watched this the whole morning!" He laughed and you shrugged.

"Yeah, but remember they changed the original story and some dialogues a bit to make it more interesting. She's from Utah now. Let's start." You closed your eyes and sighed. "Danny I don't want the summer to be over, I may never seen you again." You said Sandy's first lines in the musical, while staring at Joe.

"Sandy, don't talk that way." Joe replied as Danny and you interrupted him.

"But it's true, I've just had the best summer of my life and now I have to go back to Salt Lake, it isn't fair." You said complaining as you moved your eyes to the floor. Joe put his hand on your chin and lifted your head gently, so his eyes could meet yours again.

And Joe got lost in your eyes. He felt waves of running feelings on his body. For him, time stopped, the whole wolrd stopped and it was only you and him.

He thought about what was next in the script, the kiss. What if he kissed you now? Of course it would be part of acting, it wouldn't mean anything at all, but for him, oh, he didn't know how he would feel if he kissed you right now. He didn't want your frienship to be at stake, but he had to do it anyway.

Joe moved his hand on your cheek, you kept staring at him and when he was a few inches away from you, your phone started ringing and you both jumped.

"Fuck, it scared the shit out of me." You said taking a breath with a hand on your chest and moved to take your phone. Aaron is calling.

As you answered the call, Joe went to the kitchen. He rested his back against the wall and closed his eyes. He was so close to finally kiss you and he couldn't believe it. He was so close to your face, to your lips.

When you finished talking with Aaron, you went to the kitchen and found Joe there, in silence.

"Joey, are you okay?" You asked as you walked towards him. He opened his eyes and nodded. "Are you sure?" You weren't very convinced at all.

"Yes, I was just thinking about a few things I have to do with my agent." Hi moved his hand on the nape of his neck.

"Okay. Aaron just called and offered to take me to the theater with him but I turned it down." You said and Joe furrowed his eyebrows. "I want to go with you, I need you by my side." You beamed. So did he. "We should leave now,  or we won't have enought time."

The car ride was full of laughter, Joe knew absolutely well how to make you laugh and forget about everything. He was trying to make you feel relaxed and it seemed that his attempts were working out. You really appreciated it.

As you realized you were near the theater’s street, your face was pale.  Al Hirschfeld Theatre. You were there.

Joe noticed your expression had changed and squeezed your hand. You closed your eyes. He parked a few feet away from the theater and you both got out of the car.

“Listen (y/n).” He looked into your eyes while holding your shoulders. “No matter what happens today, don’t ever hesitate how talented you are, please never forget that.” He gave you a tender smile and you hugged him.

“Thank you Joey, you don’t have an idea of how much I appreciate and love you.” You closed your eyes and rubbed his back.

“I know you do, and I love you too. Good luck.”

Joe stayed inside his car, waiting for the audition to end. He knew he would be there for a long time so he brought with him his notebook where he kept writing ideas for his future directing projects.

When you entered the theater, you saw Aaron reading the script. He was really focused on it.

“Hey, how you doing?” You asked and sat beside him.

He lifted his head and kissed your cheek. “I’m great, and you? Nervous?”

“You’re absolutely right.” You sighed.

“Remember what I told you, just be yourself and imagine you are dancing alone in your room in front of your mirror.” He chuckled.

“I’ll try.” You looked at his script. “Which role are you auditioning for?”

"I'm going for Danny Zuko, your lover, Miss Sandy." He blinked.

You? Starring opposite him? At first it seemed absolutely crazy, because he had a lot of experience. That's when you remembered what Joe had said Don't ever hesitate how talented you are, and you couldn't help but beamed happily. You were so lucky to have him in your life, such a tender and loyal friend.

You were still confused about your feelings. Perhaps, you were feeling like this because you've been single for almost a year and the need of being loved was taking over you. You didn't truly believe you were falling for him.

As soon as the casting crew called you, Aaron wished you good luck and you went to the scenario. You introduced yourself to the casting crew who was waiting for the music to start. The instrumental music of You're the one that I want was playing loudly at the background while you gracely moved your body to the rhythm of the music and started to sing. Your hips were loose and your feet seemed to never touch the ground. Your movements were fluent, they were done without any effort and the lightly way you were dancing could have been seen from every little part of the theater. 

When you finished your audition, they asked you to wait outside. A few minutes later, a tall woman in her 20s holding some papers showed up.

"Are you (y/n) (y/s/n)?" You nodded. "I'm the director's assistant, he wants to see you."

You walked towards the scenario again and found Aaron in there. He smiled as you stood beside him.

"We want you to perform the opening scene, where Danny and Sandy are saying goodbye at the beach. We'll give you thirty minutes to prepare it and then you'll be called to do it." The director expossed as he and the casting crew left you alone.

"Do you know what that means? It's 80% probable that we got the role." He said excitedly.

"Oh my..." You moved your hand to your mouth. "I really hope so."

"So, let's prepeare the scene." He started reading the script. "What about the kiss? Do you want to practice it or just let it happen?"

"Hmm...I prefer practicing it at least once, just to be sure that everything will be perfect."

"That's a good point." He left the script on the floor, so did you.

"Danny I don't want the summer to be over, I may never seen you again." You said Sandy's first lines while staring at Aaron. He was holding your waist. You placed your hands on his toned arms.

"Sandy, don't talk that way." He nodded.

"But it's true, I've just had the best summer of my life and now I have to go back to Salt Lake, it isn't fair." You moved your eyes to the floor. Aaron put his hand on your chin and lifted your head, you looked at him again.

It felt completely different from when you did it in the morning with Joe. You felt you were really acting now, doing your job, but with Joe, it was difficult to focuse on the lines and everything, but why? You were so close to each other that you almost kissed if it wasn't for Aaron's call.

And that's when you felt Aaron's lips on yours. You closed your eyes, trying to examine the situation. His lips were rough because of the windy winter and his hands moved softly on your skin. You followed the kiss and he held you closer, embracing you, but you quickly moved him away.

"Danny don't spoil it." You fixed your eyes on his.

"It's not spoiling. It's only making better."

"Is this the end?" You asked sadly. He held your hands again.

"Don't think about that, just be here on the moment. All that matters is what's happening right now." As he spoke, you posed your hands on his cheeks and kissed him deeply. He did the same and followed your kiss.

"That was fantastic, I have no doubt that we got the role!" Aaron said, cutting off the kiss. You were still close to him.

"I really hope so."

"You are a great actress and a great kisser as well." You moved your eyes to the floor and Aaron giggled. "I'm telling you the truth."

You looked at him again and his lips mashed against yours again, you hungrily pushed back. It wasn't like one of those close-mouthed kisses you had when you were at elementary school, it was full on, open-mouthed, with pure lust. He nearly knocked all wind from your lungs. His hands drifted to your hips, pulling you closer. You inhaled, sharply. It's been so long since you last kissed someone like that and you couldn't deny it felt so good. When you heard the director and the casting crew coming back, you pulled apart and acted as if nothing happened.

They sat in the front row and asked you to start. You repeated what you did before, but this time, everything went on more naturally. It seemed like Aaron and you had known each other for years. You really had chemistry.

When you finished the audition, the director and the casting crew discussed about it and finally decided that both of you got the role. You were thrilled to bits when they said they couldn't praise you enough and you did an brilliant job.

You ran out of the theater happily and when you saw Joe waiting for you inside his car, you called his name and he got out, leaving his notebook there.

"I got the role!" You yelled and jumped into his arms. There was nothing in the world that's gonna kill this mood.

~

The next day, you and Joe were walking in the city. Joe was holding his phone, checking his To do list to see your plans for the day. He was very excited, you could see it on his face.

“Are you going to tell me where are we going to or not?” You asked while crossing the street.

“Hmm...I see you are very impatient.” He chuckled and you rolled your eyes.

A few minutes later, he stopped walking. You moved your sunglasses and gave a glance at the familiar tram station. “Are we going to Roosevelt Island?”

“Yes, I haven’t gone there in ages and I thought It was a good idea.” He said happily.  

The Roosevelt Island Tramway is an aerial tramway that brings you from Manhattan to Roosevelt Island in less than five minutes. There are some amanzing views of the city. It’s a very attractive option for people who want to get away from the crowds in Manhattan and enjoy the peace and quiet of the beautiful island. And you can enjoy it at night too, that was one of your favorite activities to do when you moved there a few years ago, admiring the wonderful skycrapers through the window.

After waiting for like fifteen minutes, you finally took the tram. Joe suggested going to a café and you agreed. It was a friendly place with a few tables outside. The peculiar smell of coffee made you feel hungry, especially because it was 10:00 am, so you ordered and sat outside the shop. It was a perfect sunny day to be outside.

As soon as you started having breakfast, Joe’s phone buzzed and when he saw his notifications, his expression changed, now, he looked haunted.

“Joey, what happened?”  You leaned forward.

“Nothing.” He said tautly. He blocked his phone and had a sip of his coffee. You knew he wasn’t telling you the truth.

“That’s a lie. You know you can trust me.”

Joe sighed. “I’ve never told you about my ex...she sent me a message saying she wants to see me to talk about something, but I blocked her.”

“What happened with her?”

“We’ve been together for so long, seven years to be exactly. Everything seemed to be fine. We lived in Los Angeles, that’s where I met her. One day, I was on my way to the airport, I was going to visit my family because it was Christmas season and I realized I had forgotten my passport, so I quickly came back home and when I opened the door...” He stopped and moved his gaze. “A friend of ours was...he was fucking her in our couch, our house...” He sighed again. “The excuse she had for not going to visit my family was that she had to work and obviously, it wasn’t true. Whatsmore, she had been cheating on me with him for over a year.”

Your jaw dropped. How could someone be so cruel? Nobody deserved that, especially Joe, he had a heart of gold. He was a person that believed real happiness lay on doing good for others, for him there wasn't anything that made him feel better than it.

He always seemed so happy but you could feel that behind that beautiful smile he had, he was in pain.

You moved and hugged him. “I’m so sorry Joey, you don’t deserve this.” He held you tight, in silent. “Someday, you’ll find somebody who will care about you.”

Joe wanted that person to be you. It was as if he had built his walls up high and didn’t let anyone enter his heart, but now, they were falling and you were the reason why. His heart has been locked away since that day he found out his girlfriend betrayed him. He was afraid of being in the same situation again. He supossed you were waiting too, to fall in love with someone who was worth the wait, after some failed relationships. He wanted to tell you that you were the person he was waiting for, that he had been searching so long for a feeling like this, but he was afraid, not only about being hurt again but also because he was convinced that feeling wasn’t mutual.

“I hope so.” You heard him say. “After that, I moved back to New York and all my dates failed, so I think I’m staying alone for a long time.”

“Don’t say that, I bet you have a lot of girls behind.” You moved you eyebrows and he giggled.

"And what about you? Have you had a date recently?"

"No, I haven't gone out with someone in six months." You replied as you finished your coffee. Joe almost choke. "What?"

"You have to be kidding me."

"Why?" You laughed.

"You are telling me that you haven't been with someone in six months, for real? Not even a kiss?" He was amazed.

"Well, I kissed yesterday but..." He interrupted.

"But that doesn't count, you were acting!"

"Actually, we kissed more than once." You blushed and Joe raised an eyebrow. He had to pretend he wasn't jealous of his friend for doing what he wanted the most, to kiss you.

"So, you like him."

"No."

"Yes, you do." He insisted.

"No, well, I'm not sure, okay?"

Joe nodded and took another sip of coffee. Inside, his heart was breaking. But outside, he seemed he didn't really care, he was a good actor.

If you change your mind

I'm the first in line

Honey, I'm still free

Take a chance on me.

~

Six weeks passed since the audition. The last days of winter were almost gone and spring's arrival meant that the musical was about to be released.

But things started to get pretty hectic, especially with Joe.

Rehearsals had taken over your life that you could barely have time to relax. The To do list that Joe had planned on set while filming Bohemian Rhapsody in january was practically forgotten, the only activities you did was going to the Central Park and going to a Yankees' game. You knew Joe wasn't mad at you for not having enought time, he knew that theater involved a lot ot rehearsals for a perfect performance but the fact that you hanged out with Aaron and not with him made him feel replaced.

The worst happened two weeks ago. It was friday and Joe was waiting impatiently for you at the Sky Room Rooftop in Manhattan. He was excited to catch up with you after seeing you like three times the last month, but you were late, you both agreed to meet there at 10:00 p.m and thirty minutes later, you haven't showep up yet. Two, four, six calls and you didn't anwer.

You weren't in New York. You were staying in California for the weekend since you and Aaron had been invited to a promoting event for Grease in Los Angeles and you forgot that you had made plans with your friend. When you saw his missed calls, you almost pass out. There was a message saying he was going home and asking where the hell were you, you explained him everything. You had a horrible sinking feeling when you saw he left you on read. You deserved that although you didn't do it on purpose, you had totally forgotten about it.

He felt so dejected by your behaviour. And it upset him even more because he loved you, he really did.

Saturday. You were at another event but this time there was a surprise for you, John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John showed up at the place and sang You are the one that I want with you and Aaron, you were over the moon.

Meanwhile in New York, Lucy was staying the weekend in Manhattan to attend to an event she had been invited to. Rami couldn't make it there, although he was in the same city, he was filming Mr. Robot's last season and not only he played the main role, he was also one of the producers, so Lucy asked Joe to go with him and have fun, especially after the bad night he had waiting for you.

What Joe didn't know was that Lucy invited a friend of her too. Her name was Julia, she was a blonde blue-eyed girl that was around Lucy's age and she lived in New York too. She was a new friend, they met on set filming The Politician, a new Netflix series that will be launched by next year's end.

Joe and Julia got on really well.They exchanged intense glares the whole night and laughed at each other's jokes. They even followed each other on Instagram and posted some stories together. When the event finished, they went to a bar and had some drinks. This time, Joe was sober.

He and Julia went to dance. He kept his hands on her hips to guide her. At one point, everything started to get hot. Joe kept her tight to him with his hands on her waist while dancing and she began to feel hot and tingly when she felt his breath near her ear. He asked her if she wanted to do something after the bar and she said yes.

So when Lucy decided to call it a night, Julia invited Joe to her appartment.

When they entered the building, she didn’t even say a word, she just led him to the elevator and kissed him. His hands continued to explore her body, almost slipping under her dress a few times.

And they spent the night together. But Joe didn't sleep, insomnia took over him. He kept thinking about you and how you were slowly falling for Aaron and forgetting about your friendship with him.

I wasn't jealous before we met

Now every man I see is a potential threat

And I'm possessive, it isn't nice

You've heard me saying that acting was my only vice

You and Aaron have been on a few dates but nothing too serious. You were convinced that the chemestry you had on stage was making you confused and you didn't want to be direspecful so agreed going out with him. You felt you were behaving like a fifteen-year-old girl.

On monday, when everybody was at their respective places, Gwilym organized a group video call to catch up with the six of you. You placed your phone on your kitchen counter while you prepare your kettle for a cup of tea after a tough day.

You couldn't stop looking at Joe and he tried to avoid you. The tension between you both could be felt. You were sure your friends noticed it.

"How was the event, Luc?" Ben asked while lighting a cigarette in his garden.

"It was great, I had so much fun with Joe and Julia! And I'm glad they got on very well." Lucy was lying on her couch, resting after an exhausting weekend.

"Yeah, we all know that." Gwilym giggled while cleaning his glasses.

Wait, what did they know? Did you miss anything?

You kept your gaze on Joe, waiting for his next words while your hands grabbed the kettle that just boiled. He was lying on his bed.

"Have you heard about it, Lu?" Ben asked mischievously.

"Shut up, Benjamin Jones." Joe warned him, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, c'mon! We all know, Joe." Rami's eyebrows were bobbing up and down while walking to his hotel room. Lucy didn't have an idea of what was going on. So did you.

"What did I miss, hmm?" Lucy wondered. Joe's face blused.

"Mss. Lucy Boynton, your friends slept together." Ben confessed, entuthiastically. Joe rolled his eyes again. He was annoyed.

"Oh my god!" Lucy yelled in surprise, moving a hand to her mouth.

As soon as you heard Ben, you felt your heart dropped to your stomach. The kettle that was on your hands was now on the floor and an amount of countless swearing were heard from your mouth. Your skin was burning like hell.

"(y/n), what happened? Are you okay?" Gwilym asked worried and all eyes were on you.

"I've just dropped my kettle, call you later guys." You left the video call and run to your bathroom. You could hardly walk. You let the cool running water to cool your burning foot for like 20 minutes and covered the burn with a moist bandage. It wasn't that bad so you didn't need to go to hospital and in a matter of days it will be gone.

You were cleaning the kitchen when phone rang and you knew it was one of your friends, wondering what happened to you on the kitchen.

Lucy is calling.

You spent the next two hours talking with her. She kept telling you that you were in love with Joe, she knew it, it was obvious. You told her that you weren't sure about it and explained everything that had been happening the last weeks was making you feel out of your head. She said that it would be better if you talked about last friday with Joe and tried to apologize again.

You couldn't stop thinking about him, he's been stuck on your mind for the last weeks.

~

8:00 a.m, rehearsals again. You were sat on the floor, yawning. You haven't been sleeping properly, waking up every two hours or getting only 3 hours of sleep. Your head was aching so hard that you could scarcely open your eyes.

Aaron showed up, holding two cups of coffee. "Hey, good morning, here you have." He extended his arm so you could grab a coffee but you didn't.

"Sorry, I don't feel like having breakfast today." You sighed.

"Today, yesterday and the day before yesterday, what's going on?" He sat by your side.

You knew that your situation with Joe didn't leave you in peace and the stress you had for the countless hours of rehearsals a week was making it worse. Fault was the only thing that you could feel.

"I don't know, I haven't been sleeping well and I'm not hungry. I'm worn out." Your eyes were closed by now. He was listening carefully. "But, let's dance anyway." You put your hand on the wall and got up.

"Are you sure? I don't think you.. " you interrupted him.

"Aaron, I wanna do this. Let me try, at least." You insisted.

As the music started playing, the choreographer indicated your dance moves. Your body moved lazily, muscles aching as if you've been hit by a truck. Your sight was numb, so you stopped, moving your gaze to the floor. Your knees started shaking. There was no way you could finish even a song.

"I've told you it wasn't a good idea." Aaron grabbed you by your waist and placed your arm around his neck. He guided you to a chair and left you there. "Do you have your phone here?"

"I don't even know if it has battery. It's in my jacket." You massaged your forehead trying to calm the ache but it was helpless.

Aaron talked with the director and then grabbed your phone, he called your emergency number. "Hi, is anybody there?" He could hear someone breathing but it was silent.

"Aaron?" Joe spoke, his voice was husky, he must have been sleeping because it was pretty early.

You'd chosen Joe, he was the only person who could help you if you found yourself in times of trouble since your family lived in another state and it would take them ages to get there. But if you had to call him now, you weren't going to do it.

"Joe? It's me, listen. (y/n) isn't doing good so I've just called her emergency number and here we are. I didn't know it was your number. Can you pick her up? I asked the director to give her a break and he agreed. She looks terrible."

Joe was still mad at you, but he wasn't going to let those feelings interfere with the situation. He was a kind person and he loved you, so the only thing he was going to do was to leave you home and continue with his day.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes."

Aaron came back with you. "You're leaving in a few minutes, here you have." He gave you your phone.

"What? Are you going to leave with me?" You frowned.

"Actually, no. I asked the director and he wants me to stay but he said you could go home. Joe is coming."

Your eyes bugged out, you hadn't seen Joe in weeks and you felt it wasn't the right moment to do it.

Aaron was holding his phone. "Joe sent me a message, he's out."

He helped you to get to the front door of the theater. Joe didn't say anything, he opened the door of his car and helped you get in. You couldn't see his eyes because he was wearing sunglasses. And he was glad, because when he saw you like that, his heart broke. He wanted to hold you in his arms and take care of you, kissing every little part of your face and telling you everything was gonna be alright.

Once you were in your appartment, he helped you to get in bed and prepeared a cup of tea. When he came back, he sat on the edge of your bed. He didn't say a word, you knew he was hurt.

"Thank you." You took a sip of tea.

He looked at you and pursed his lips, as if he was going to say something but he didn't.

"Please, say something. Don't be like that, I know I was wrong, I'm sorry." You pouted.

"Okay, I forgive you, are you happy?" He said expressionless.

"Joe." You left your cup on your nightstand and moved closer to him. "Don't say it because that's what I want to hear, say it because you feel it."

"I'm feeling this, but you're too busy with your new friend that you don't seem to know me anymore." He gave you a glowering look and you sighed.

"Joey, please, look at me." You took his hand and rubbed it softly. He looked at your hands and then moved his eyes to meet yours. "Forgive me, please. You don't have an idea of how much I miss you." You were already in tears. He sighed.

"I miss you too." He opened his arms wide and pulled you in for a warm hug. You let out a small sigh while sobbing and hid your face in his neck, you could smell his scent, it's been so long.

You both stood there for a few minutes while Joe caressed your back. "We have to talk about it."

"I know." You wipped your tears with your thumb. "But please, can we do it later? I feel my head is going to explode at any moment."

"Okay but just tell me something, what's going on with you?"

"I'm tired, that's all." You assured him.

Joe hesitated a few seconds until he decided to ask something he was afraid to.

"Are you pregnant?" Joe murmured.

You burst out laughing. "Are you kidding me?"

"What? I don't know about your dating life." He shrugged.

"No Joe, I'm not pregnant."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I need to sleep, that's all."

He stole a glance at his watch. "I better go, I have a meeting." He moved from your bed.

"Will I see you soon?" You asked hoping he would say yes.

"Of course, when you'll get better."

~~~

It was 08:00 p.m when Joe came back home. He lay on his couch and watched tv. Two hours later, he was sleeping when he heard the doorbell riging. He was so sleepy that he didn't remember falling sleep.

When he opened the door, he frowned. Aaron and you were standing there, beaming cheerfully. You looked better than you did in the morning.

"Surprise! Are you going to make us wait any longer? This pizza is waiting for us!" Aaron had a pizza box in his hands.

"We wanted to visit our dear friend." You confessed. Joe let you in and told you to sit on the couch. But before, you hugged him. "I know we've seen each other in the morning but I missed you."

He smiled. "How do you feel? You definetely look better."

"I do!" You kissed his cheek and took a seat beside Aaron.

"I'm glad. I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

He disappeared for a minute and when he was walking down the hall, he heard some noises. He leaned against the wall, hiding himself and peeped. He couldn't believe his eyes. A pang of jealousy ran through his veins. He gulped, his heart was racing so fast that he swore it would jump out of his chest now. His stomach was sick. "It's all in my head" he thought, trying to convince himself but it was helpless.

You were sat on Aaron's thights, your hands playing with his hair as he held you. His strong arms were around your waist and his hands placed on your ass.

Warm lips pressed against yours. You were kissing as if you were the only people in the world, as if you weren't in your friend's house. You didn't care about anything except that kiss.

He pressed your body against his and a soft moan scaped your lips. He giggled and told you to be quiet so as not to be caught. Then, he continued devouring your mouth.

Joe was perplex, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to stop looking at you, but he couldn't.

When Aaron put his hands on your breasts, Joe knew it was enough. He couldn't look, it was killing him.

He came back to the bathroom, waiting for things to cool down a bit. "It started out with a kiss, they were acting. How did it end up like this?" He thought. This has gone too far.