#goldenmazzello

[goldenmazzello]

Lay all your love on me | Part 4

Warning: Swearing, mentions of alcohol and sex.

W/C: 3.8k

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update this but a lot of things happened during this time. Please, turn on my notifications so you'll know when the next parts are here.

MASTERLIST

 Joe jolted awake as he heard the doorbell rang again and jumped almost falling from the couch to the floor. His eyes snapped open, he took some time to realize where he was. His heart was pounding with all that adrenaline rush and his body was covered in a profuse sweating in a quiet awe, unable to know exactly how to react. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. He looked for you and Aaron everywhere, maybe you were hidden in a room, but you weren’t really there. 

He tried to take another deep breath and calm down. What happened? Then, he walked towards the door and opened it, frowning. An old lady was beaming at him. She was wearing a fur coat and holding a purse. If he was confused before, now he thought he had lost his mind. 

“Good night young man. Do you know where does Mr. Parsons live? My phone died and I can’t remember his house’s number.” She explained in an apologetically way while she checked Joe’s address. 

“Hmm...he lives down the street, at number 8.” He indicated with his hands. 

“Thank you so much, I’m sorry for bothering you.” She said as she started walking. 

“No problem.” He closed the door and put his hands on his head, trying to find answers to his questions. What was going on?

It was a dream. A nightmare. He had that image of you stuck in his mind, you on his lap, kissing him while his hands touched every single part of your body, something that Joe would die to do.

He poured himself a glass of water to calm down a bit and as he started to switch off the lights, there was a knock on the door. He huffed and opened the door quickly.

“Did you find Mr. Parsons hous...”

Your standing figure left Joe speechless. You were playing with your hair and moving your feet, looking shy at him.

You woke up at 06:00 p.m after sleeping all day, like eight hours. You really needed that, you felt so much better now not only because you got enough sleep but also because you saw Joe in the morning. Even though you didn’t talk about what happened, you felt relieved. You believed he would hate you and wouldn’t give you an opportunity to talk and express your feelings, but at the same time, you felt the worst person in the world.

You had a wonderful friendship and you were not appreciating it enough. You remembered those old times in which you didn’t have friends, the countless nights you cried yourself to sleep and feeling terrible for being so alone in this world. You felt you were becoming one of those people who made you feel miserable and you didn’t want to make Joe suffer like that. He didn’t deserve that, nobody deserved that. You had to talk to him as soon as posible. You needed to see him.

It was late but you couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning so you put on a coat and took a taxi to his place. As you were paying the taxi driver, you noticed he switched the lights off, maybe he was about to go to bed. You ran quickly and knocked the door before he went to sleep. 

When he opened the door, he was shocked by your presence. It was clear he wasn’t expecting to see you there. 

“Hello.”

“Please, come in.” He let you in and closed the door. He helped you with your coat and hugged you desperately tight. 

Now he could confirm it was really a dream. 

“Joey, I can’t breath.” You laughed. 

“Sorry. Are you ok? How did you get here? Did something happen?” He was babbling a lot of questions you didn’t understand. 

“Everything is fine. I took a taxi.” You placed your hands on his back and caressed it softly. “You are sweating let me check your temperature.” You had to stand on yout tiptoes to reach his height since he was taller than you. You kissed his forehead, as your mom did when you were a child. 

Joe’s heart began to beat hard again. He swallowed. “I had a nightmare...sometimes when it happens, my body reacts that way.” He sighed. 

“Yeah, your temperature is normal. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really, sorry.” He nodded. 

Never in a million years he was going to tell you about that. Or at least not in the foreseeable future. 

“Come here.” You opened your arms and he hugged you happily. "Can we talk about everything we've been through? I can't take it anymore."

"Yes, sure."

He went to the kitchen and brought a glass of water to the living roon, where you were waiting for him. You apologized for being such a bad friend and promised to be a better person, you really meant it. You tried your best to hold back the tears but it was impossible, you were already crying. You didn't want him to be out of your life. Joe apologized too and held you in his arms, suggesting you should both forget and pretend that nothing happened because it would be better. You also promised him you were going to spend more time together, no matter what. It was already midnight when you finished talking.

"Please, stay here, it's too late." He said as he switch off the lights again.

"Are you sure? I can call a taxi."

"No, I’m not going to let you go home alone. Please, stay." He begged, pouting. It was hard to say no when he looked so cute doing that puppy face you couldn't resist. You agreed staying with him.

"You can sleep on my bed, I’m going to sleep on the couch, don't worry." He gave you a smile. You said you were going home but he didn't agree.

"Sleep with me, then." You shrugged. Joe blushed and nodded. "If we don't come to terms, we're going to share it."

You both walked silently into his bedroom. The idea of sleeping together seemed to scared you both. He opened his wardrobe and gave you one of his shirts. He grabbed one for him and left you alone so you could get changed. You removed your clothes, leaving only your underwear and Joe's shirt on. It felt so weird to be almost naked in his room. He knocked on the door and asked if he could come in.

"Yes.” You replied folding your arms on your chest, trying to hide your boobs. 

He came in and got rid of his jeans. Then, he lay down on his bed. You couldn’t help but stare at his body, so did he. 

“Come here.” He called you, patting the empty right side of the bed that was waiting for you, beside him. 

You lay down and covered yourself with the blankets. Everything felt so strange. You were nervous. 

After a few minutes of talking, Joe fell asleep. He looked so calm. He was sleeping on his right side. All the muscles in his face and body were totally at peace, he looked like a baby. His soft breathing made the world seem to stand still. It made your heart melt, your eyes couldn’t leave his face. You couldn’t stop smiling. 

And that’s when you knew something was different. You felt different. You’ve been in love before and you thought that you would no more, but now he was bringing it back, that old feeling in you. Everytime you looked at him everything seemed to be ok, that there wasn’t any danger in the world at all or anything to worry about. You felt safe with him. All you wanted to know was how it felt to lay in his arms and feel loved. 

You were head over heels for him and you were finally admitting it. Why was it so hard to do?

~

You opened your eyes and felt lazy. Your eyelids were heavy and your thoughts were confusing. Your back hurt so you moved, but you were being held. Your eyes were still shut. As soon as you remembered what happened last night, your eyes opened.

Joe was hugging you. His strong arms were around your hips and his head was placed on your shoulder. It was making you kind of jittery because you didn't know how to react. You loved being like this and you wished you could do it everyday but you didn't know how he would react when he wake up.

Not until you started coughing Joe opened his eyes and smiled, but when he noticed you were beside him, he jumped out of bed and fell to the floor.

"Joe!" You bent over beside him. "Are you ok?" You asked with a concerned gaze.

"I think so." He put his hands on his head and sat on the floor, still confused.

Being almost naked around each other made both of you nervous, but for a reason, you couldn't stop looking at each other.

"I'm going to make breakfast." You said as you stood up.

"No, leave it on me. You are my guest today so I'm going to make you breakfast." He said with pride. You giggled.

He got dressed and went downstairs. You couldn't believe what happened. Yesterday morning he was mad at you and you thought he wasn't going to talk to you ever again and a day later, you wake up on his bed and he makes you breakfast.

As you were getting dressed, a peculiar smell came from the kitchen and you could hear Joe cursing. When you were ready, you went to check what was going on.

"Everything alright?" You asked Joe as you walked towards him.

He turned around and faked a smile. "Absolutely."

You tried to see what was on the kitchen counter but he was covering it on purpose.

"Joe...I'm not dumb, you burnt something." You said, raising an eyebrow.

"Fine. I was trying to make scrambled eggs because I know they are your favorite but..." He sighed. "I overcooked them." He said upset.

You couldn't resist and smiled fron ear to ear. You didn't care about the burnt eggs, but the fact he remembered they were your favorite and tried to prepare them for you was something that made your heart melt.

"Don't worry Joey, I really appreciate it." You said happily.

"What? Are you crazy? I'm not going to let you eat that." You could see in his eyes he was really upset.

You laughed and hugged him. "I appreciate what you have done for me, even though it went wrong."

He half-smiled and hugged you too. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Let me make us breakfast." You rubbed his back.

"No. I have a plan B." He looked for the ingridients and started to prepare hotcakes.

You bent over the kitchen counter and you couldn't help but stare at him lovingly while he cooked. Why did it take you so long to come to terms with your feelings? There was a reason. You were so used to being left out in the past that sometimes it was still weird to feel love for others without being afraid of ended up hurt.

"At least I didn't burn breakfast this time." Joe said proudly and you laughed.

"What are we waiting for? Let's eat!"

After breakfast, you headed to another day of reharsals. You wished you could stay all day long with Joe, but the musical was getting closer.

~

It was finally may. It meant the musical was only a few weeks away and you were doing absolutely amazing. You felt confident in every act and dancing while singing was becoming easier little by little.

Things with Joe were better now. His To do list came back so you both visited New York and pretended to be tourists, something you both found funny.

Since you were seeing Joe more frequently, you both started flirting with each other. It was easier than flirting with a complete stranger because you knew his sense of humor and what he liked so you used what you knew about him to take your conversation from normal to flirty.

Joe would tell you everytime you went out you looked nice. He tried to get more physical by letting his hand on your knee and placing your hair behind your ear while you were talking.

He even watched Friends, your favorite tv show so he could talk about it with you -You weren't surprised when he told you his favorite character was Joey.-

You also had silly arguments, like those old married couples that argue about the silliest things but are so cute while doing it.

"I'm telling you, grilled cheese and ketchup is a match made in heaven, trust me." You winked at him and he made a throw-up face.

"No! You are crazy! Dipping a grilled cheese sandwich in ketchup is a food catastrophe." He explained while moving his hands, something he always did and you always liked.

You would make eye contact even when you were in a room full of people. You found him sharing longing glancing with you and smiles that lasted a little bit longer than usual. And sometimes that smile lasted even after he walked away. That's the smile you have when someone you love texts you and a friend asks what you’re smiling about.

You also blushed when you handed him a coffee and your hand brushed against his fingers.

There was a sweet awkwardness when tension was at play. It almost mimicked the feeling of sharing a flirtation in high school before you know how to handle your hormones.

You were having lunch at the theater during reharsals when your phone rang. "Lucy added you to group Rami's birthday"

She arranged a surprise party for his birthday. Lucy had flown Gwilym and Ben from London to New York and planned an entire weekend celebration.

~

It was friday night and you were waiting for Rami and Lucy on the rooftop in Manhattan with Joe, Ben and Gwilym. Rami was here in the city filming Mr. Robot, so when he finished working, she took him there.

"Lucy said they are coming." Gwilym said checking his phone so you all stood up beside your chairs, waiting for your friends.

When Rami saw all of you, his jaw dropped. He was awestruck seeing all of you there, especially Ben and Gwilym.

"Surprise!"

"You two are such liars." Rami told you and Joe while laughing. You both told him you were going to be busy that weekend so you won't have the chance to celebrate with him. "And you two!" His big smiled spoke for him. He was awestruck seeing everyone there.

"We wanted to give you a little surprise." Gwilym said giggling. "Lucy, you did amazing!"

Lucy was delighted with her surprise. She was very nervous and planned everything in a matter of days.

"How did I get so lucky?" Rami hugged her.

You wished you could do something like this for Joe someday.

After you had dinner, you decided to stay at Joe's house. But first, you were going to have fun.

"Let's play Never have I ever." Ben suggested.

"Ben, we're not in high school anymore." You chuckled.

"But that's going to be fun and the questions are going to be kinda spicy, you know." He said moving his eyebrows.

Joe brought some bottles of wine and cans of beer while you all sat on the couch, waiting for him.

"Ok so, here I have the cards." Ben put the deck on the table and Rami gave him a weird look.

"When did you buy those?" He asked while drinking a beer.

"I bought them in London last year. Let's play!" He picked one from the deck. "Rules are very simple. If someone has done the action in question, this person takes a shot. Maybe you'll have to elaborate on it in detail. If no one has done the action in question, the person who posed the query takes a drink. So, first question, 'Never have I ever cheated on someone'." Ben looked at the five of you, nobody took a shot, except for him.

"What?" Lucy asked surprised.

"Ah yes, such a long story but I was 19." Ben shrugged. "Rami, pick a card."

"Ok, let's see." He grabbed one and read it. 'Never have I ever sent a naughty photo to someone'." He chuckled and took a shot, so you all did.

"I see you all love being naughty, hm." Lucy said. "My turn." She grabbed a card now. "Oh, this one is good. 'Never have I ever had a one-night stand'."

Everybody took a shot, except you. All eyes were on you

"Are you kidding us?!" Ben yelled. "You have to be kidding us!"

"No. That's not my thing, I need to feel something for that person, otherwise I don't do it. And I think I've already mentioned it. But I had a sort of friends-with-benefits thing a few times." You replied.

"You have to try it, you'll like it." He winked at you and you laughed.

"Benjamin Jones, are you trying to seduce our friend?" Lucy asked while drinking beer. Joe looked at him.

"No, I've just said she has to give it a go."

"Ok, my turn now." Joe read the question. "'Never have I ever had sex in a public place'." He cracked a laugh and took a shot. Ben, Gwilym and you took one too.

"I bet you remembered something." Ben told Joe and he nodded his head yes.

"I'm not going to be too graphic but, it was at the beach in L.A and we almost got caught." He took a sip of beer.

You gave him a mischivious glare. You were tipsy by now. "So you like taking risks."

"You took a shot too. Where did you do it?" He asked curious.

"At a restaurant." You grabbed a card and Joe kept his eyes on you. "'Never have I ever given or received a lap dance'."

You and Lucy took a shot. Rami giggled and Lucy elbowed him. Joe was staring at you and when you noticed it, you winked to him. Alcohol was making you more confident.

"Last one or we're going to end up throwing up Joe's house." Gwilym picked a random card from the deck. "Never have I ever fancied someone in this room."

You almost choke while drinking wine. Of course, Rami and Lucy were the ones who took a shot first. Then, Ben followed them as well as Joe and you.

"Mm, interesting." Gwilym laughed. "Do any of you wanna say something?" He asked Ben, Joe and you.

"Game over Gwil." Lucy noticed you were shooked or astonished so she saved you from your British friend's question. "Why don't we clean this table before these guys make a mess?" She suggested you and you jumped off the couch.

"Now that the girls are in the kitchen, what do you have to say about the last question?" Gwilym asked.

"I fancied Lucy when I first met her but that was almost a year ago, don't worry mate." Ben assured Rami. They were all drunk as a skunk.

"I'm not even surprised." Rami laughed and grabbed another can of beer. "And Joe?"

"I think (y/n)____ has a nice ass. I'm in love with her." He replied and the guys laughed out loud.

"Ohh, this is gonna be good for tomorrow." Rami told Gwilym beaming.

"Why are you guys screaming like animals?" You asked as you walked towards the couch.

"Because we're drunk, pretty girl." Ben said chaotically. Joe furrowed at his comment.

"Benjamin, shut up." Gwilym ordered him after noticing Joe's expression.

"We're going to sleep, see you guys tomorrow." Lucy said and you both went upstairs.

"I'm gonna kill you." Joe told Ben and lay on one of the couches.

~

It was 10 a.m when the guys woke up. They had fallen asleep on the couches and now they were having coffee there. Lucy and you were still sleeping.

"Why did we drink so much?" Rami asked yawning.

"I don't regret it much since Joe said his confession." Gwilym said raising an eyebrow.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Joe wondered confused.

The guys looked at each other and laughed.

"Shh, the girls are sleeping." Joe shushed them and took a sip of coffee. "Can someone tell me what's going on?"

"You are in love with (y/n)___, aren't you?" Gwilym answered. Joe's jaw almost drop.

"Oh my God, what did I say? Did she hear me?" Joe put his hands on his head.

Rami laughed. "You said she has a nice ass and that you are in love with her. And no, she was in the kitchen with Luc."

"How long have you been feeling this way?" Ben asked.

Joe explained he has been in love with you for a long time now. He mentioned that the day of your audition he almost kissed you if it wasn't for Aaron's call, his nightmare and how the tension between the two of you had been growing for the past weeks.

"You have to do something or you're gonna lose her." Gwil advised him.

"I'm afraid. I'm not sure if she's flirting with me because she's interested in me or if she's bored." He took a deep breath.

"Joe, she really cares about you and I don't think she is playing with you. She's trying to tell you something." Gwilym said. "You have to be brave and tell her about your feelings or you'll end up sick in love. You're gonna feel it, your heart will break into million pieces and it will hurt so much it will be unendurable. I know that feeling." He sighed.

His words may be sort of poetic, but he was right. Sometimes, when we keep things for ourselves, our body takes everything and we feel even worse.

"I will think about it. Thank you so much guys, you are the best." Joe hugged them happily. He knew he could count on them whenever he needed.

[goldenmazzello]

Never should have let you go.

Warning: Full of angst, swearing?, and more angst. 

Word count: 2.5k

As the door opened, the loudest of noises Joe could hear was silence. The sound of silence wasn't the lack of noise but the lack of your pressence. It was an unnerving silence, a constant companion of his thoughts. His thoughts were destroying him. He tried not to think but the silence was a killer.

His head was spinning on the memories the two of you had. The day you met, the day you kissed for the first time, the day you moved together and of course, the day you left. All the things he took for granted now became moments gone, forever wasted. He had to accept the damaged was done and it was obvious that you could never go back to the way it used to be. At least not now.

Even though that you were gone for weeks, coming home to an empty room was just as hard as the first day. The days feet like years now that he was alone. He felt that another day without you was like a blade cutting right through him. Joe hasn't been the same since you've been gone. Everytime he came back home from work he hoped everything was just a bad dream and that he would wake up and see your face again. He remembered those times in which you waited for him with his favorite supper. Or when you picked him up at the airport. Those little details meant the world to him. 

You were always there with a big bright smile, you were like a shining light that made him forget all of his problems. You were there to guide him on his darkest days. You were always there and he took it for granted. And now you were gone.

At night, after a long day at work, Joe lay in bed thinking about you and would burst into tears. The bed was made up on your side, as if you were about to enter the room.

The thing he missed the most was waking up next to you and looking into your eyes, those beautiful eyes he loved and he would give everything he had in the world to see them again. After all these wasted nights he couldn't pretend he was doing fine because that feeling was getting stronger everyday. He just couldn't take it anymore. He wondered if you thought about him when you couldn't fall asleep just like he did. You were always on his mind.

He has played your words back in his head a thousand times. I'm leaving. And there wasn't anything else that he could do. He felt helpless. He had to face the fact that he couldn't walk away from this, but it was hard when every little thing in the world reminded him of you.

Life was far different when you both decided it was time to live together. And things seemed to get better and better. You got a job promotion and as soon as he directed his first movie, Joe had an amazing opportinity that was life changing: another promising movie. But of course for every plus there is a minus, Joe was going to be away from you for a long time since he had to work in London. It was a challenge you had to face.

And that wasn't an easy time. You didn't tell him because you didn't want to worry him while he was working, but you couldn't stop crying. You would come back from work and cry because you missed him so much, but you knew it was going to happen, you knew it from the very beginning. And you were willing to tolerate it, he was the love of your life.

You tried to visit Joe once a month and he tried flying home during vacation. But in one of the most special days, Joe wasn't there. You spent your birthday alone and even though you told him it was okay, it really wasn't. You really wished he was there, but he was away. It was his job and you understood.

When Joe came back after being in London for six months, it felt like time didn't pass. He was back and all yours. You felt on cloud nine. After a few months, Bohemian Rhapsody was released and you were Joe's date for the premiere. And then, press tour began and everything started to feel like a mess. Joe had to fly around the world and wasn't going to spend much time at home.

Award season arrived and he had to fly from New York to Los Angeles, from Los Angeles to London and again, you were alone at home. You wished you could go with him but it was impossible, you weren't famous like him and after all, it was his job, again.

 And there wasn’t anything wrong about it, since day one you knew his life was like this and you accepted. The problem was that Joe was absolutely focused on his job and started to care less about you. The small notes with "I love you" or even his messages during breakfast or at night became scarce, almost non-existent. He didn't have time to FaceTime like he did before. He didn't even ask you to pick him up at the airport anymore. Everything was different now.

You could sense your relationship was falling apart but you didn’t want to give up on it. Just because you were in hot water it didn't necessarily mean you needed to throw in the towel, at least not now.

You decided to talk to Joe about this. This was making you feel totally miserable and you really wanted to fix it. After all, communication is the key in every relationship.

At first, he said he was sorry about it and he felt absolutely terrible for hurting you. He promised he was going to change and he said he was going to spend more time with you like before. You were in this together. And you felt relieved, as if you took a great weight off your shoulders. You really loved Joe and you would do everything in the world for him.

As weeks passed by, you felt you were trying to fix your relationship all by yourself. Lack of daily communication with him was something you were getting used to. Movie nights, dinner dates or even intimate moments were all distant memories. There were much less moments of cuddling, sweet kisses, hand holding, and walking arm-in-arm, they all had been replaced by distance. You thought it was maybe a temporary reaction to stress, but it's been going on for some time now. It was getting worse. Even the words "sweetheart,” “honey,” and “love" were gone. And your self-esteem was already affected. You felt heartbroken and hurt every day.

It was time.

It was time to leave.

You had an escape plan in your head for months. Your subconscious was sending you strong messages that it was time to get out. You tried not to think about it but every day you considered putting your plan into action. And the day finally came.

You got up in the morning and started packing your belongings. As you were taking your things out of your wardrobe, you felt a shiver down your spine. It felt odd, but you couldn't take it anymore. It was absolutely painful.

Three hours passed and Joe entered home. He let the door fall to with a thud that made you jump. You gulped and closed your eyes as you heard his steps were becoming closer. When Joe finally set foot in your shared room, his eyes were as big as plates. His face expression changed.

"W-What are you doing?" He was shoocked.

You grabbed your things quickly and got out of the room and he followed you. "I'm leaving, I can't put up with your fucking job anymore." You said as you tried to walk downstairs with your heavy suitcase. You had decided to leave since it was Joe's house and there was no way you would stay.

"Please, I'm begging you." Joe grabbed your hands while crying. Your words cut deeper than a knife.

"Joe, I'm being serious, don't make it even harder." You told him with a broken voice while trying to walk.

"You don't have to leave, th-th-this is your house too." He put himself in your way.

"This is your house, you paid for it with your work. Now please, move." You tried to move him but you couldn't since he was taller and bigger than you. "I'm gonna fall and get hurt, move!" At this point, you were already annoyed.

"No, I'm gonna protect you. You aren't gonna get hurt." He said while resting his hands on your waist.

You rolled your eyes. "Guess what? I'm already hurt and it's because of you! I tried to get things better but it seems you don't want to. I feel we've been living as roomates!" You left out a frustrated sigh. He moved his gaze to the floor.

"I promise I'll do my best this time. Let's go on a road trip." He suggested, trying to smile.

"There is not going to be any road trip or whatever. I'm leaving and there is nothing you can do about it. I feel like we're as close as strangers, you don't care about me anymore!" You screamed those words to Joe.

He didn't say anything but cried. He knew it was his fault. "Please, think about it. Don't take spur-of-the-moment decisions."

"It isn't a spur-of-the-moment decision, I've been thinking about it for months."

You don't know why, but he finally moved and helped you with your suitcase. "Where are you going?" He asked, looking into your eyes.

"It's none of your business." You looked for your coat, took out your keys and opened the door. "Here you have." You gave him the keys and got out of the house.

Joe couldn't stop the tears running down his face. "Sorry, sorry sorry sorry." He covered his eyes with his hands.

It's been a week that you were gone and Joe didn't know what to do. You blocked him from social media and he didn’t have a way of communicating with you. 

As he turned on his computer, he noticed you left your e-mail opened. He hesitated but then decided to open it.

You had an e-mail from an airline. Everything indicated you were in London now. "What is she doing in London?" He thought. "What about her job?"

As soon as he read that, he called Rami. He had moved to London with Lucy and maybe knew something about your whereabouts.

Rami told Joe that Lucy visited you in London but she wasn't going to give him your adress because she knew Rami would tell Joe about it. Joe promised not to visit you, he knew you didn't want to see him. After a few days of asking about you, Lucy finally spoke. You were living in an apartment -a flat, as British people call it-. Joe asked her how were you and Lucy said you were completely heartbroken.

"Can you please tell me her adress?" Joe asked her while they were on a FaceTime call. Lucy was drinking a tea and almost choke as she heard his words. 

"What?" Lucy asked confused. "Joe, she needs to be own her own, she needs time."

"I know, I'm not flying to London. I wanna send her a letter."

"A letter? Well, maybe I can write it and give it to her." She offered.

"Thank you but...it's private. I'd rather send it to her."

"Promise me you're not going to show up at her apartment or she'll never speak to me again and you'll never hear from her."

"I promise."

You were trying to get used to living in London. It wasn't like New York but you knew that eventually you were going to feel like you were home.

As you opened the door, there was a letter on the floor. You bend over and pick it up. Your heart stopped as you read Joseph Mazzello, New York, United States of America.

"How did he kno...Lucy!"

She must have told him, you were almost sure about it.

You sat on the couch and stared the letter for like 5 minutes, thinking if you should open it or not. You sighed and decided to open it and read it.

“Dear (Y/N)

First of all, don’t be mad at Lucy for giving me your adress, I promised her I won’t show up at your apartment. 

Since I don’t have any way of talking with you, I thought writing this letter was a good idea. If you are reading this, I wanna let you know that everything was my fault. I took everything for granted and I wish things would be different now. This time away from you felt like forever, I guess it’s the price I gotta pay for being such a stupid boyfriend. 

You have no idea how much I miss you. Every night I think and dream about you. I love you so much honey, I really do. I don’t know why I was so stupid and ruined everything, but I’m really sorry, I mean it. I wish that I could find a way to turn back time because my life hasn’t been the same since you’ve been gone. I can’t stop thinking about you and all the memories we have together. Getting through the night is the hardest thing to do, I miss feeling your body next to mine, I miss your touching and kissing, I miss everything about you. I try to get a grip but I just can’t put my life back into place, I feel so unprotected without you. I can’t stand the pain, I can’t make it go away. It hurts so much. I know I can’t erase the things that I’ve done, but from the buttom of my heart, I want you to give me a second chance. I know I’ve made more mistakes than I can even count and deep inside I know I don’t deserve another chance to make it work, but I’ll try my best, I’ll try for you. I promise this time I won’t make up excuses, I don’t wanna lose you. 

If you can give me half a chance I’ll show how much I can fix myself for you. One thing I know for sure, is that I never should have let you go.” 

MASTERLIST

[goldenmazzello]

Naughty wife.

Warning: SMUT (+18), language, mentions of alcohol.

W/C: 1.5k

~~~

You were having dinner, alone. After an exhausting day at work the only thing that would make you feel better was your favorite food and a good wine. You put your favorite sitcom on tv so you would feel less lonely.

You missed Joe so much, he was in London filming Bohemian Rhapsody. The last time you saw him was two months ago when you flew to the UK to surprise him for his birthday.

He wanted you to call him tonight, before going to sleep. You knew that it was pretty late in London but he was going to say up only for you.

As you finished dinner, you went upstairs. You stood in your bedroom while looking at yourself in the mirror, phone pressed to your ear. You were slightly tipsy and wanted to sleep but you didn’t care, you wanted to hear his voice before.

“Please Joe, pick up already.” You mumbled and kept staring at your reflection. Why wasn’t he picking up? Did he fall asleep?

You got frustrated and threw your phone on the bed. You huffed. You had to to something. Something that would make him regret not answering your call.

You grinned devilishly and started to get rid of your clothes until you were only in your underwear. You picked your phone up again and pressed record.

“So, Joe”, you giggled. Suddenly, the whole thing got funny. Blame it on the alcohol. “Why didn’t you pick up when I called you?” You were filming your reflection in the mirror and pouted. “It would have been a nice call, you know…”, you said and walked back to your bed, turning the camera, showing your face. “You know how I am when I’m drunk.” You said and removed your bra. “You could have seen this.” You started to massage your breast. “All of it.” You said while holding your phone further away to film your stomach and more.

Your hands kept moving down your stomach, into your panties. You moaned and bit your lip, making sure your body was full on screen. “I could have moaned your name, Joey.” You groaned while rubbing yourself. “But you’re not here.” You removed your panties and spread your legs to show him how wet your were and what he was missing. “Just imagine, what you could do to me, your dear wife, if you were actually here.” You moaned louder and let one finger disappear into your throbbing core. “Oh.“ You started to pump faster. You shouted and cursed as added a second finger. You were extra loud to make sure you would annoy him and make him lose control. I fact, he was the only one who could make you scream.

You imagined he was there, with his body over you and pumping in and out of you. With that on your mind, you quickly reached your high and put the camera back up, so your face was on screen. “You’d better pick up that damn phone call.” You grinned before ending the video.

You bit your lip and sent him a message. “Watch this when you’re alone. Make sure you are really alone.“ You pressed send and added the video.

You left your phone on the nightstand and laughed. You knew he was going to punish you for that.

You woke up to the sound of your phone. You groaned and reached over to pick up without checking who was calling “Hello?”

“(Y/n), what the fuck?” You heard Joe groan.

It took you a moment to realize what he was talking about. “Oh, you watched it?” You smirked. You tried to imagine his reaction.

“Yes, fuck, (Y/n) I watched it in the middle of the set with everyone around me.”

“What!” You screamed. He laughed out loud. “That’s not funny.”

“Calm down, no one saw a thing. I was alone when I watched it. Why did you send me this when I wasn’t there? God, (Y/N), when I come home… I’ll show you what happens to girls like you.” He said.

“Girls like me?” You asked with a grin. This would be fun. “Yes, little bad and naughty girls like you. What you said in the video, blaming me, you’ll pay for that” He threatened.

“You won’t be home for weeks” You reminded him.

“But I won’t forget it.”

~~~

You were laying on the couch. The house was so empty without Joe. It seemed enormous when you were on your own.

You sent the video two days ago and he was back to his normal self. He answered none of your calls. You got slightly worried. What if he was sick and didn’t want to tell you so as not to worry you?

But suddenly, you heard the door was being opened. You walked through the house and saw him. He was standing there, closing the door. He left his luggage in the corner and stared at you. He shouldn’t be here. He was supposed to be gone for at least two more weeks.

Joe didn’t say anything when he approached you. He grabbed your face and kissed you roughly. You wrapped your hands around his neck and he lifted you up, so you could put your legs around his waist.

“I’ve been thinking of you all the time, honey.” He groaned and kissed your neck while walking you into the living room. “I’ve watched this video for hours and you could imagine what I did…but I need more.” He said and lay you on the couch. “I need everything. I need to feel your touch. Your lips. You.” He bit his lower lip and brushed his thumb against your lip. “I’ve missed your lips so fucking much. Your beautiful lips around my cock.” He leaned down and kissed you hungrily, exploring your body with his large hands. “You’ve been a bad girl, (Y/n), you had fun without me.” He sat down on the end of the couch and watched you. “(Y/n), you know what bad girls have to do, when they’ve been caught?” You nodded and bit your lip. Slowly, you unzipped his pants and let his erection spring free. He was so hard, waiting for you to do something.

You smirked and twirled your tongue over his tip, enjoying his reaction. He hissed and grabbed your head. You licked his length and took as much as you could into your mouth.

He moaned satisfied and you took him deeper, down your throat and gagged slighlty. You knew he loved it, so you did it again and moaned to send vibrations over him.

His moans filled the room and you bobbed your head up and down, licking and twirling around him, until he couldn’t hold back any longer. “Fuck.” He cursed as he came. He looked at you and laughed exhausted. “Good girl. Now let me pleasure you.” He grinned and pressed you down.

First, Joe got rid of his clothes, then started to undress you slowly. He took his time to admire every part of your body, massaged your breasts, licked over them, and made you even wetter. It’s been a long time.

His tongue wandered down your body, over your stomach until he reached the spot where you wanted him the most. “Who is the only one who can make you come?” He asked you and stroked over your thigh.

“You” You breathed.

“Who? Sorry, I didn’t hear that.” He smirked down at you.

“Fuck, Joe, you. Only you. Now do something please.” You yelled desperately.

He chuckled to himself and disappeared between your legs. He licked your folds slowly, adding pressure with his thumb over your clit and his tongue disappeared in a fast pace in and out of you.

"Oh, Joey.” You moaned and tugged his hair. He always did magic when he was between your legs. His tongue twirled over your soft spot and he stared up at you, watching every reaction. You felt your orgasm build in your stomach, but suddenly he stopped. You gasped and wanted to protest when he slammed his rocking hard cock into you.

"Fuck.” You screamed out of pleasure. He could have warned you at least.

“You’re so wet and warm, (Y/N). Just for me, right?” He breathed and pumped in and out of you in a rapid pace. You knew he wouldn’t be gentle.

"Joe…” You moaned and scratched over his back. He didn’t notice you were leaving marks over his body, he was lost in the moment.

His thrusts were hard and fast and with every move he took, the couch moved over the floor.

"Will you ever record yourself again?” He asked you but you couldn’t say anything, he was blowing your mind.

His thrusts became harder and deeper and you knew he was close, just like you. With a loud scream of his name you came all over him and he did the same shortly after.

"Oh my God.” You breathed and started to laugh. “I should send you more of these videos.” You chuckled.

“Didn’t you learn your lesson?” He asked you and gave you a quick peck.

“Yes, I did. With these videos you would come home to me faster than imagined.” You stated and brushed through his hair. "I missed you, Mr. Mazello.”

“I missed you too, Mrs. Mazzello.” He kissed your forehead and held you in his arms.

The house didn’t feel empty anymore. 

MASTERLIST

[goldenmazzello]

Lay all your love on me | Part 1

(I don't own this gif. Credits to the owner)

Warning: Flashbacks. Language. Mentions of poor mental health, angst.

W/C: 2.8k.

A/N: Hello! This is the first part of Lay all your love on me. You can find the next parts on my pinned masterlist here.

MASTERLIST 

Your last day on set has finally arrived. It's amazing how time flies when you're busy doing things you really love, surrounded by magnificient people. It makes you forget about your every day routine and to have some fun from time to time.

Everybody was getting their make-up done for the last day of filming. As you entered the trailer in order to get yours done, a sweet, delicate voice called you.

"(Y/n)! Are you ready for our last day?" Lucy asked with a bright smile on her face while sitting on her personalized black chair, which had her name written at the back.

You smiled. "To be honest, I'm not doing too well, I'm gonna miss you guys so much." You said with a pouty face. Lucy said she would miss all of you too. 

“Oh, nice baby bump!” 

You furrowed your brows but then you remembered. You were wearing a fake silicone belly, since your character was going to be pregnant in that scene. 

“Yeah, he’s kicking so hard.” You joked. 

You sat on your chair as your assistant helped you put your wig.  You laughed at your reflection in the mirror. "I still can't used to this wig." You found it odd to wear a blonde wig.

“At least they didn’t give you a perm!” Joe appeared holding two cups of coffee on each of his hands. “Here you have, my wonderful wife.” he approached you and gave you one of the cups. You laughed at his comments. 

“Thank you, Mr. Deacon.” You thanked him and left a kiss on his cheek.

Joe bringing you coffee on set every morning became a habit, one you were very delighted with. He was so kind with you that you swore your heart could just melt for every little thing he did for you. 

And while drinking your coffee, you remembered your very first day on set and how you and Joe started talking. 

Filming had already started by your first day on set. Today, you would meet the entire cast of the wonderful movie you were going to take part in. You felt an overwhelming joy for being part of such an incredible project, not only because it was a big step in your career as an actress, but also because you were a Queen fan. And it was your very first time in London.

Your very first scene was Freddie’s birthday party. You greeted all of your new cast mates before paying attention to the director’s indications. 

You sat between two of your cast mates. One of them was wearing a long-haired blonde wig and the other a long-haired brown one with a strange fringe. You were wearing a wig as well. It was a black-haired one with a fringe and low pony tails falling over your shoulders. Your eyes had a beautiful emerald eye-shadow which you weren’t very comfortable with but you didn’t care, you were another person now, it was your job.

As they started filming, you kept a conversation with the actor that played John Deacon’s role, your husband, of who you didn't remember his name. You smile at each other and them you both joined the conversation that the others were having about Freddie’s life as his mom stood up and looked for family pictures.

The director decided to take some breaks in between the scenes. It was a good opportunity to introduce yourself and to make some new friends. 

“Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Ben.” said the blonde one who was next to you and you told him your name. The other actors joined him and all of you started talking. There was something strange in one of them, the one who was next to you and introduced himself as Joe. Why was he talking so weird? 

“Why are you doing a bad American accent?” You asked him laughing. He furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth but didn’t say anything, he looked as if he was trying to find the words to say. “B-but, t-that’s my voice.” he said confused. 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” You said and covered your face with your hands. That’s why you don’t have friends, stupid, you said to yourself. 

Your face was burning and you felt absolutely embarrassed. How long have you been on set? Three hours? And you were already causing trouble. 

He laughed. “Nevermind. What an awesome compliment. I mean, I’ve been working on it so hard and you thought that I was actually British but...What’s wrong with my voice? I think it’s a pretty convincing American accent. Anyway, thanks for the compliment.” 

“I’m really really sorry, I don’t know why I said that.” Your face was still red. You wished the Earth would swallow you, you wanted to disappear from his sight. He put his hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize. I really meant what I’ve said, it was a nice compliment, I’m prouder of myself now!” He assured you and gave you an expression that indicated everything was okay and there wasn’t anything bad at what you had said, he wasn’t mad at that. 

You weren’t very convinced but after getting closer to him the following days, you realized that he was telling you the truth and there wasn’t anything you should worry about. After that, you both talked about each other’s lives. You found out he lived in New York, just as you. He was from there but you were from New Jersey. You told him how you ended up moving to New York to study and work on your acting career. Since that day, you both became very good friends. And the same thing happened with Ben, Gwilym, Rami and Lucy, you became close to them because of your new friendship with Joe. 

“Let’s take a picture for Instagram.” Joe suggested. You stood next to him, with your right hand covering half of your mouth showing surprise and Joe put one of his hands on your fake belly and the other did the same as yours. 

Lucy took the photo. 

@Joe_Mazzello: Say hi to the Deacon family! @(y/n)(y/s/n) #BohemianRhapsody #Queen #DeaconFamily 

~

The director was giving the last indications for the scene. We will rock you. You were on a sofa next to Joe, having a conversation as Ben did the same with the actress who played his wife and the one who was Gwilym’s wife sat there looking at him, while he was looking at Rami, completely annoyed. The girls were very good actresses but unfortunately, they weren’t very close to the rest of the cast and won’t be joining the future tour press since they have another projects in the pipeline. 

“You look so funny in that blonde wig.” Joe teased you, knowing that you hated it. 

Actually, Joe wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful, as always, but he wasn't bold enough to do it.

"Shut up or I'll take your wig off." You threatened him, he mocked you and rested his head on your shoulder.

And after that, Gwilym ordered everybody to join him. He came up with the beat of a new song he had been working on. Suddenly, all of you were clapping your hands at the third beat as Rami appeared and apologized for being late. He asked what was going on and Gwilym explained he wanted to give the audience a song they could perform and be part of it and you all began to sing and clap your hands.

"Cut!" The director shouted.

And everything was done. There were no scenes left, nothing else. After that, Rami suggested to go and have coffee. All of you were sat on the floor and drinking your coffee.

"I can't believe it's our last day." You said.

"I still remember the very first time you were on set." Gwilym said. "And the odd American accent." he moved his gaze from you to Joe and laughed.

"Oh no, please, I'm still ashamed of that." You begged him not no bring that back.

Memories from set were mentioned as you took a sip of coffee. You had a big smile on your face as you remembered probably one of the best days of your life and the best memory on set.

"Who's coming over?" You asked Rami, who was taking his crown off and put in on your head, you laughed.

"I don't know, darling. Maybe some fans." He shrugged. He got used to talking like Freddie.

After Freddie's party scene in Garden Lodge, the director suggedted to take a break and said that they had some guests on set that day.

"I thought we were going to film the I want to break free music video now." Gwilym said thoughtful with his hand on his chin.

"Hey mates, look who are here today!" Ben said as he, Joe and Lucy stood next to you, Rami and Gwilym and pointed at the door.

You couldn't believe your eyes when you saw them.

Brian May and Roger Taylor were a few feet away from you. Brian and Roger, from Queen, your favorite band, your idols.

"Hey folks, How are you doing today?" Asked Brian with a charming smile. 

Everybody greeted them but you. You were in shock, your face was as white as a sheet and your jaw was slacked. Lucy seemed to notice you and held your hand. 

Joe put his hand in your back and rubbed it softly. “Let’s go outside and catch some fresh air.” 

“Hey, who’s this pretty lady?” Roger asked. He took off his black glasses. 

“(Y/n) are you okay?” Lucy asked worried and the four men next to you turned to look. 

Oh God, you were absolutely nervous. Never in your craziest dreams you thought about having this opportunity. You knew that Brian and Roger sometimes visited the set but you didn’t think they would do it a day you were there. 

“I-I-I’m (Y/n)...” you extended your shaky hand. “Oh sorry for this, but I’m a big fan of Queen and...Oh God I can’t believe it!” Roger laughed and took your hand and shook it. You thought you were going to faint. You could feel your knees weaken. 

“No! I’m okay” You were shaking.

“Wow, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve seen some pictures of you here on set with these amazing people, you’re doing amazing.” He said and Brian nodded. 

“We’re finally meeting!” Brian said and you smiled with watery eyes. 

Joe wondered what made you deal with so much pain, you'd never said anything about that. He felt his heart broke at the mere thought of you being in pain.

Brian and Roger were absolutely grateful for your words. 

“I feel like I’m dreaming.” You laughed nervously. “You guys don’t have an idea of how much I appreciate you, your music helped me to heal so much pain and I will be forever grateful for that. I wanna show you something.” You said as you uncover your left wrist from your sleeve. You had a beautiful butterfly tattooed and under it, a lyric from one of your favorite songs by Queen, Spread your wings. “I’ve had this for over 12 years now and one of my biggest wishes was to show it to both of you someday and to thank you for everything."

“I’m glad our music help you in any possible way.” Brian said “And your tattoo is amazing. John would be very pleased If he saw it” You smiled. 

“I love it.” Roger said. “Hey Bri, why don’t we take a photo with her for Instagram?” 

“That would be nice.” 

Oh my God. 

"Let me be your photographer." Rami asked Brian for his phone and took some photos of your tattoo and others of you with them. A few minutes after that, your phone buzzed. Queen has tagged you on a post. 

@OfficialQueenMusic: “So glad to meet a fan today that will be part of our upcoming movie. Thank you for sharing your story with us @(y/n)(y/s/n) #BohemianRhapsody” 

That was, by far, the best day of your entire life. 

“Hey, come back to Earth, where are you?” Ben asked moving a hand in your face. You shook your head. 

“I was thinking about the first time I met Brian and Roger.” You blushed and he laughed.

“Oh, the day you almost pass out” Ben joked and you slapped him on his arm. “Hey, Am I telling a lie?” 

“Of course I almost pass out, my eyes were lucky to see Brian and Roger in person.” You and Ben giggled. 

“I’m going to miss you, do you know that?” Ben asked. 

“So do I!” You hugged him. Smiling. "You know I'm going to visit you."

Those weeks on set made you realize how lucky you were to find such incredible people. After years and years of being alone in your misery. After the countless nights you cried yourself to sleep and feeling like a piece of shit for being so alone in this world, everything was making sense now. 

You never told them about what you had been through. Being a teenager wasn’t easy. You wanted people to destroy the concept that your teenage years are supposed to be fun and those are the best years of your life because when you hit your late 20s, responsibilities are hard to manage and everything seems to be falling apart. Why couldn’t you be happy now?

Now, that you were 30, that everything was left behind. You wished you could say that you were a happy teenager and you didn’t have to fake a smile and pretend everything was okay. There were days you barely could get out of your house and see other people, or even worse, some days you couldn’t get out of bed and shower because there wasn’t any motivation at all. And no one understood. No one knew how hard it was being you, having such an stressful life that you worried about every little thing and it seemed you would never be at peace. You never felt safe. How hard it was to interact with others without thinking that they just did it to be nice to you or that they were desperately waiting for you to shut your fucking mouth. Isolation didn’t feel right. Loneliness didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right at all. You couldn’t keep pretending to be happy, you needed a reason to keep holding on, something that made you believe that your life was going to change, you wanted to be back on your feet and to know that all of that pain was gone.

Maybe it wasn’t so hard to be you, and eventually, you would find out where you belonged. You felt it was taking forever and you couldn’t wait for things to get better. You knew that someday things would be better and that your day would come. Sometimes you wished someone would save you, but you knew that you had to save yourself. If only you could find what you've been looking for. "How could this happen to me? "was the only thing that was always on your mind. You were sick of this life, you wanted to scream. You felt out of place, you were sick of feeling so left out.

And at that moment, you knew that your 18-year-old-self would be proud of you. Proud of the woman you had become and that now, all of your worries were left behind. You didn’t have to worry about that again, but it was still hard to open your heart and tell people about it. You weren’t embarrassed, it was part of you, part of your story but you didn’t want people to pity you. 

You didn’t realize you were almost crying until Joe spoke. 

“What’s going on?” He hugged you. Your vision was blurry, it was difficult for you to see clearly. You wiped your tears with your thumb and you chuckled. 

“I’m very emotional today. I’m grateful for everything that this movie brought me, especially the five of you.” 

There was a broad smile on Joe’s face. “Well, I’m glad you say that because you won’t get rid of me so easily, huh?” He joked. Joe always knew how to make you smile. But he was right, you lived like 30 minutes away from him, you would see each other everyday. “I have a list of places we’re visiting after coming back to New York.” 

“That’s why I love you.” You hugged him again. He smiled.

Joe felt something on his chest. He wished that I love you meant something else than being loved as a friend, but at the same time, he didn’t want to feel like this, he didn’t want to be in love again. Since his last girlfriend cheated on him with his friend, he couldn’t feel anything for someone. All of his dates failed and he decided to take some time for himself.

But there was something Joe couldn’t deny, when you were near, everything seemed so easy, he could look into your eyes and forget the world. 

“I love you even more.” 

[goldenmazzello]

Lay all your love on me | Part 3

(I don't own this gif. Credits to the owner)

Warning: Language, angst, cheating, stress, innuendo?, mention of songs. 

W/C: 5.6k.

MASTERLIST

~

Friday. It was finally friday, the day for the audition. You spent the last four days rehearsing for the audition, maybe the biggest and most important one you've ever had. You were so nervous that you could barely close your eyes and sleep. Now, you couldn't remember how many times you watched Grease on Netflix or how many times you watched videos on YouTube in such little time.

Now, you were with Joe in his living room. You asked him for help since you felt a bit mousy to ask Aaron to practice with you because you've just met him. However, he sent you some messages giving you some tips to remember during your audition. You were so glad he told you that because he had experience in Broadway, it wasn't his first time there. And for the same reason, you wondered if you were really going to get the role or if you were going to make a dog's dinner of it again as the last one.

You put Grease on his tv and rapidly pause it at the very beginning where Danny and Sandy were at the beach, the place they met vacationing, holding each other's waist and looking at each other with love and angst at the same time as they were going separate ways due to the end of the summer and Sandy had to come back to Australia.

"Okay so, now, come here please." You grabbed Joe's arm and made him get up from the sofa. Joe chuckled. You indicated him how to pose his hands on you and posed yours on him. "You remember this line, don't you?" You asked raising an eyebrow.

"Of course, we've watched this the whole morning!" He laughed and you shrugged.

"Yeah, but remember they changed the original story and some dialogues a bit to make it more interesting. She's from Utah now. Let's start." You closed your eyes and sighed. "Danny I don't want the summer to be over, I may never seen you again." You said Sandy's first lines in the musical, while staring at Joe.

"Sandy, don't talk that way." Joe replied as Danny and you interrupted him.

"But it's true, I've just had the best summer of my life and now I have to go back to Salt Lake, it isn't fair." You said complaining as you moved your eyes to the floor. Joe put his hand on your chin and lifted your head gently, so his eyes could meet yours again.

And Joe got lost in your eyes. He felt waves of running feelings on his body. For him, time stopped, the whole wolrd stopped and it was only you and him.

He thought about what was next in the script, the kiss. What if he kissed you now? Of course it would be part of acting, it wouldn't mean anything at all, but for him, oh, he didn't know how he would feel if he kissed you right now. He didn't want your frienship to be at stake, but he had to do it anyway.

Joe moved his hand on your cheek, you kept staring at him and when he was a few inches away from you, your phone started ringing and you both jumped.

"Fuck, it scared the shit out of me." You said taking a breath with a hand on your chest and moved to take your phone. Aaron is calling.

As you answered the call, Joe went to the kitchen. He rested his back against the wall and closed his eyes. He was so close to finally kiss you and he couldn't believe it. He was so close to your face, to your lips.

When you finished talking with Aaron, you went to the kitchen and found Joe there, in silence.

"Joey, are you okay?" You asked as you walked towards him. He opened his eyes and nodded. "Are you sure?" You weren't very convinced at all.

"Yes, I was just thinking about a few things I have to do with my agent." Hi moved his hand on the nape of his neck.

"Okay. Aaron just called and offered to take me to the theater with him but I turned it down." You said and Joe furrowed his eyebrows. "I want to go with you, I need you by my side." You beamed. So did he. "We should leave now,  or we won't have enought time."

The car ride was full of laughter, Joe knew absolutely well how to make you laugh and forget about everything. He was trying to make you feel relaxed and it seemed that his attempts were working out. You really appreciated it.

As you realized you were near the theater’s street, your face was pale.  Al Hirschfeld Theatre. You were there.

Joe noticed your expression had changed and squeezed your hand. You closed your eyes. He parked a few feet away from the theater and you both got out of the car.

“Listen (y/n).” He looked into your eyes while holding your shoulders. “No matter what happens today, don’t ever hesitate how talented you are, please never forget that.” He gave you a tender smile and you hugged him.

“Thank you Joey, you don’t have an idea of how much I appreciate and love you.” You closed your eyes and rubbed his back.

“I know you do, and I love you too. Good luck.”

Joe stayed inside his car, waiting for the audition to end. He knew he would be there for a long time so he brought with him his notebook where he kept writing ideas for his future directing projects.

When you entered the theater, you saw Aaron reading the script. He was really focused on it.

“Hey, how you doing?” You asked and sat beside him.

He lifted his head and kissed your cheek. “I’m great, and you? Nervous?”

“You’re absolutely right.” You sighed.

“Remember what I told you, just be yourself and imagine you are dancing alone in your room in front of your mirror.” He chuckled.

“I’ll try.” You looked at his script. “Which role are you auditioning for?”

"I'm going for Danny Zuko, your lover, Miss Sandy." He blinked.

You? Starring opposite him? At first it seemed absolutely crazy, because he had a lot of experience. That's when you remembered what Joe had said Don't ever hesitate how talented you are, and you couldn't help but beamed happily. You were so lucky to have him in your life, such a tender and loyal friend.

You were still confused about your feelings. Perhaps, you were feeling like this because you've been single for almost a year and the need of being loved was taking over you. You didn't truly believe you were falling for him.

As soon as the casting crew called you, Aaron wished you good luck and you went to the scenario. You introduced yourself to the casting crew who was waiting for the music to start. The instrumental music of You're the one that I want was playing loudly at the background while you gracely moved your body to the rhythm of the music and started to sing. Your hips were loose and your feet seemed to never touch the ground. Your movements were fluent, they were done without any effort and the lightly way you were dancing could have been seen from every little part of the theater. 

When you finished your audition, they asked you to wait outside. A few minutes later, a tall woman in her 20s holding some papers showed up.

"Are you (y/n) (y/s/n)?" You nodded. "I'm the director's assistant, he wants to see you."

You walked towards the scenario again and found Aaron in there. He smiled as you stood beside him.

"We want you to perform the opening scene, where Danny and Sandy are saying goodbye at the beach. We'll give you thirty minutes to prepare it and then you'll be called to do it." The director expossed as he and the casting crew left you alone.

"Do you know what that means? It's 80% probable that we got the role." He said excitedly.

"Oh my..." You moved your hand to your mouth. "I really hope so."

"So, let's prepeare the scene." He started reading the script. "What about the kiss? Do you want to practice it or just let it happen?"

"Hmm...I prefer practicing it at least once, just to be sure that everything will be perfect."

"That's a good point." He left the script on the floor, so did you.

"Danny I don't want the summer to be over, I may never seen you again." You said Sandy's first lines while staring at Aaron. He was holding your waist. You placed your hands on his toned arms.

"Sandy, don't talk that way." He nodded.

"But it's true, I've just had the best summer of my life and now I have to go back to Salt Lake, it isn't fair." You moved your eyes to the floor. Aaron put his hand on your chin and lifted your head, you looked at him again.

It felt completely different from when you did it in the morning with Joe. You felt you were really acting now, doing your job, but with Joe, it was difficult to focuse on the lines and everything, but why? You were so close to each other that you almost kissed if it wasn't for Aaron's call.

And that's when you felt Aaron's lips on yours. You closed your eyes, trying to examine the situation. His lips were rough because of the windy winter and his hands moved softly on your skin. You followed the kiss and he held you closer, embracing you, but you quickly moved him away.

"Danny don't spoil it." You fixed your eyes on his.

"It's not spoiling. It's only making better."

"Is this the end?" You asked sadly. He held your hands again.

"Don't think about that, just be here on the moment. All that matters is what's happening right now." As he spoke, you posed your hands on his cheeks and kissed him deeply. He did the same and followed your kiss.

"That was fantastic, I have no doubt that we got the role!" Aaron said, cutting off the kiss. You were still close to him.

"I really hope so."

"You are a great actress and a great kisser as well." You moved your eyes to the floor and Aaron giggled. "I'm telling you the truth."

You looked at him again and his lips mashed against yours again, you hungrily pushed back. It wasn't like one of those close-mouthed kisses you had when you were at elementary school, it was full on, open-mouthed, with pure lust. He nearly knocked all wind from your lungs. His hands drifted to your hips, pulling you closer. You inhaled, sharply. It's been so long since you last kissed someone like that and you couldn't deny it felt so good. When you heard the director and the casting crew coming back, you pulled apart and acted as if nothing happened.

They sat in the front row and asked you to start. You repeated what you did before, but this time, everything went on more naturally. It seemed like Aaron and you had known each other for years. You really had chemistry.

When you finished the audition, the director and the casting crew discussed about it and finally decided that both of you got the role. You were thrilled to bits when they said they couldn't praise you enough and you did an brilliant job.

You ran out of the theater happily and when you saw Joe waiting for you inside his car, you called his name and he got out, leaving his notebook there.

"I got the role!" You yelled and jumped into his arms. There was nothing in the world that's gonna kill this mood.

~

The next day, you and Joe were walking in the city. Joe was holding his phone, checking his To do list to see your plans for the day. He was very excited, you could see it on his face.

“Are you going to tell me where are we going to or not?” You asked while crossing the street.

“Hmm...I see you are very impatient.” He chuckled and you rolled your eyes.

A few minutes later, he stopped walking. You moved your sunglasses and gave a glance at the familiar tram station. “Are we going to Roosevelt Island?”

“Yes, I haven’t gone there in ages and I thought It was a good idea.” He said happily.  

The Roosevelt Island Tramway is an aerial tramway that brings you from Manhattan to Roosevelt Island in less than five minutes. There are some amanzing views of the city. It’s a very attractive option for people who want to get away from the crowds in Manhattan and enjoy the peace and quiet of the beautiful island. And you can enjoy it at night too, that was one of your favorite activities to do when you moved there a few years ago, admiring the wonderful skycrapers through the window.

After waiting for like fifteen minutes, you finally took the tram. Joe suggested going to a café and you agreed. It was a friendly place with a few tables outside. The peculiar smell of coffee made you feel hungry, especially because it was 10:00 am, so you ordered and sat outside the shop. It was a perfect sunny day to be outside.

As soon as you started having breakfast, Joe’s phone buzzed and when he saw his notifications, his expression changed, now, he looked haunted.

“Joey, what happened?”  You leaned forward.

“Nothing.” He said tautly. He blocked his phone and had a sip of his coffee. You knew he wasn’t telling you the truth.

“That’s a lie. You know you can trust me.”

Joe sighed. “I’ve never told you about my ex...she sent me a message saying she wants to see me to talk about something, but I blocked her.”

“What happened with her?”

“We’ve been together for so long, seven years to be exactly. Everything seemed to be fine. We lived in Los Angeles, that’s where I met her. One day, I was on my way to the airport, I was going to visit my family because it was Christmas season and I realized I had forgotten my passport, so I quickly came back home and when I opened the door...” He stopped and moved his gaze. “A friend of ours was...he was fucking her in our couch, our house...” He sighed again. “The excuse she had for not going to visit my family was that she had to work and obviously, it wasn’t true. Whatsmore, she had been cheating on me with him for over a year.”

Your jaw dropped. How could someone be so cruel? Nobody deserved that, especially Joe, he had a heart of gold. He was a person that believed real happiness lay on doing good for others, for him there wasn't anything that made him feel better than it.

He always seemed so happy but you could feel that behind that beautiful smile he had, he was in pain.

You moved and hugged him. “I’m so sorry Joey, you don’t deserve this.” He held you tight, in silent. “Someday, you’ll find somebody who will care about you.”

Joe wanted that person to be you. It was as if he had built his walls up high and didn’t let anyone enter his heart, but now, they were falling and you were the reason why. His heart has been locked away since that day he found out his girlfriend betrayed him. He was afraid of being in the same situation again. He supossed you were waiting too, to fall in love with someone who was worth the wait, after some failed relationships. He wanted to tell you that you were the person he was waiting for, that he had been searching so long for a feeling like this, but he was afraid, not only about being hurt again but also because he was convinced that feeling wasn’t mutual.

“I hope so.” You heard him say. “After that, I moved back to New York and all my dates failed, so I think I’m staying alone for a long time.”

“Don’t say that, I bet you have a lot of girls behind.” You moved you eyebrows and he giggled.

"And what about you? Have you had a date recently?"

"No, I haven't gone out with someone in six months." You replied as you finished your coffee. Joe almost choke. "What?"

"You have to be kidding me."

"Why?" You laughed.

"You are telling me that you haven't been with someone in six months, for real? Not even a kiss?" He was amazed.

"Well, I kissed yesterday but..." He interrupted.

"But that doesn't count, you were acting!"

"Actually, we kissed more than once." You blushed and Joe raised an eyebrow. He had to pretend he wasn't jealous of his friend for doing what he wanted the most, to kiss you.

"So, you like him."

"No."

"Yes, you do." He insisted.

"No, well, I'm not sure, okay?"

Joe nodded and took another sip of coffee. Inside, his heart was breaking. But outside, he seemed he didn't really care, he was a good actor.

If you change your mind

I'm the first in line

Honey, I'm still free

Take a chance on me.

~

Six weeks passed since the audition. The last days of winter were almost gone and spring's arrival meant that the musical was about to be released.

But things started to get pretty hectic, especially with Joe.

Rehearsals had taken over your life that you could barely have time to relax. The To do list that Joe had planned on set while filming Bohemian Rhapsody in january was practically forgotten, the only activities you did was going to the Central Park and going to a Yankees' game. You knew Joe wasn't mad at you for not having enought time, he knew that theater involved a lot ot rehearsals for a perfect performance but the fact that you hanged out with Aaron and not with him made him feel replaced.

The worst happened two weeks ago. It was friday and Joe was waiting impatiently for you at the Sky Room Rooftop in Manhattan. He was excited to catch up with you after seeing you like three times the last month, but you were late, you both agreed to meet there at 10:00 p.m and thirty minutes later, you haven't showep up yet. Two, four, six calls and you didn't anwer.

You weren't in New York. You were staying in California for the weekend since you and Aaron had been invited to a promoting event for Grease in Los Angeles and you forgot that you had made plans with your friend. When you saw his missed calls, you almost pass out. There was a message saying he was going home and asking where the hell were you, you explained him everything. You had a horrible sinking feeling when you saw he left you on read. You deserved that although you didn't do it on purpose, you had totally forgotten about it.

He felt so dejected by your behaviour. And it upset him even more because he loved you, he really did.

Saturday. You were at another event but this time there was a surprise for you, John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John showed up at the place and sang You are the one that I want with you and Aaron, you were over the moon.

Meanwhile in New York, Lucy was staying the weekend in Manhattan to attend to an event she had been invited to. Rami couldn't make it there, although he was in the same city, he was filming Mr. Robot's last season and not only he played the main role, he was also one of the producers, so Lucy asked Joe to go with him and have fun, especially after the bad night he had waiting for you.

What Joe didn't know was that Lucy invited a friend of her too. Her name was Julia, she was a blonde blue-eyed girl that was around Lucy's age and she lived in New York too. She was a new friend, they met on set filming The Politician, a new Netflix series that will be launched by next year's end.

Joe and Julia got on really well.They exchanged intense glares the whole night and laughed at each other's jokes. They even followed each other on Instagram and posted some stories together. When the event finished, they went to a bar and had some drinks. This time, Joe was sober.

He and Julia went to dance. He kept his hands on her hips to guide her. At one point, everything started to get hot. Joe kept her tight to him with his hands on her waist while dancing and she began to feel hot and tingly when she felt his breath near her ear. He asked her if she wanted to do something after the bar and she said yes.

So when Lucy decided to call it a night, Julia invited Joe to her appartment.

When they entered the building, she didn’t even say a word, she just led him to the elevator and kissed him. His hands continued to explore her body, almost slipping under her dress a few times.

And they spent the night together. But Joe didn't sleep, insomnia took over him. He kept thinking about you and how you were slowly falling for Aaron and forgetting about your friendship with him.

I wasn't jealous before we met

Now every man I see is a potential threat

And I'm possessive, it isn't nice

You've heard me saying that acting was my only vice

You and Aaron have been on a few dates but nothing too serious. You were convinced that the chemestry you had on stage was making you confused and you didn't want to be direspecful so agreed going out with him. You felt you were behaving like a fifteen-year-old girl.

On monday, when everybody was at their respective places, Gwilym organized a group video call to catch up with the six of you. You placed your phone on your kitchen counter while you prepare your kettle for a cup of tea after a tough day.

You couldn't stop looking at Joe and he tried to avoid you. The tension between you both could be felt. You were sure your friends noticed it.

"How was the event, Luc?" Ben asked while lighting a cigarette in his garden.

"It was great, I had so much fun with Joe and Julia! And I'm glad they got on very well." Lucy was lying on her couch, resting after an exhausting weekend.

"Yeah, we all know that." Gwilym giggled while cleaning his glasses.

Wait, what did they know? Did you miss anything?

You kept your gaze on Joe, waiting for his next words while your hands grabbed the kettle that just boiled. He was lying on his bed.

"Have you heard about it, Lu?" Ben asked mischievously.

"Shut up, Benjamin Jones." Joe warned him, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, c'mon! We all know, Joe." Rami's eyebrows were bobbing up and down while walking to his hotel room. Lucy didn't have an idea of what was going on. So did you.

"What did I miss, hmm?" Lucy wondered. Joe's face blused.

"Mss. Lucy Boynton, your friends slept together." Ben confessed, entuthiastically. Joe rolled his eyes again. He was annoyed.

"Oh my god!" Lucy yelled in surprise, moving a hand to her mouth.

As soon as you heard Ben, you felt your heart dropped to your stomach. The kettle that was on your hands was now on the floor and an amount of countless swearing were heard from your mouth. Your skin was burning like hell.

"(y/n), what happened? Are you okay?" Gwilym asked worried and all eyes were on you.

"I've just dropped my kettle, call you later guys." You left the video call and run to your bathroom. You could hardly walk. You let the cool running water to cool your burning foot for like 20 minutes and covered the burn with a moist bandage. It wasn't that bad so you didn't need to go to hospital and in a matter of days it will be gone.

You were cleaning the kitchen when phone rang and you knew it was one of your friends, wondering what happened to you on the kitchen.

Lucy is calling.

You spent the next two hours talking with her. She kept telling you that you were in love with Joe, she knew it, it was obvious. You told her that you weren't sure about it and explained everything that had been happening the last weeks was making you feel out of your head. She said that it would be better if you talked about last friday with Joe and tried to apologize again.

You couldn't stop thinking about him, he's been stuck on your mind for the last weeks.

~

8:00 a.m, rehearsals again. You were sat on the floor, yawning. You haven't been sleeping properly, waking up every two hours or getting only 3 hours of sleep. Your head was aching so hard that you could scarcely open your eyes.

Aaron showed up, holding two cups of coffee. "Hey, good morning, here you have." He extended his arm so you could grab a coffee but you didn't.

"Sorry, I don't feel like having breakfast today." You sighed.

"Today, yesterday and the day before yesterday, what's going on?" He sat by your side.

You knew that your situation with Joe didn't leave you in peace and the stress you had for the countless hours of rehearsals a week was making it worse. Fault was the only thing that you could feel.

"I don't know, I haven't been sleeping well and I'm not hungry. I'm worn out." Your eyes were closed by now. He was listening carefully. "But, let's dance anyway." You put your hand on the wall and got up.

"Are you sure? I don't think you.. " you interrupted him.

"Aaron, I wanna do this. Let me try, at least." You insisted.

As the music started playing, the choreographer indicated your dance moves. Your body moved lazily, muscles aching as if you've been hit by a truck. Your sight was numb, so you stopped, moving your gaze to the floor. Your knees started shaking. There was no way you could finish even a song.

"I've told you it wasn't a good idea." Aaron grabbed you by your waist and placed your arm around his neck. He guided you to a chair and left you there. "Do you have your phone here?"

"I don't even know if it has battery. It's in my jacket." You massaged your forehead trying to calm the ache but it was helpless.

Aaron talked with the director and then grabbed your phone, he called your emergency number. "Hi, is anybody there?" He could hear someone breathing but it was silent.

"Aaron?" Joe spoke, his voice was husky, he must have been sleeping because it was pretty early.

You'd chosen Joe, he was the only person who could help you if you found yourself in times of trouble since your family lived in another state and it would take them ages to get there. But if you had to call him now, you weren't going to do it.

"Joe? It's me, listen. (y/n) isn't doing good so I've just called her emergency number and here we are. I didn't know it was your number. Can you pick her up? I asked the director to give her a break and he agreed. She looks terrible."

Joe was still mad at you, but he wasn't going to let those feelings interfere with the situation. He was a kind person and he loved you, so the only thing he was going to do was to leave you home and continue with his day.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes."

Aaron came back with you. "You're leaving in a few minutes, here you have." He gave you your phone.

"What? Are you going to leave with me?" You frowned.

"Actually, no. I asked the director and he wants me to stay but he said you could go home. Joe is coming."

Your eyes bugged out, you hadn't seen Joe in weeks and you felt it wasn't the right moment to do it.

Aaron was holding his phone. "Joe sent me a message, he's out."

He helped you to get to the front door of the theater. Joe didn't say anything, he opened the door of his car and helped you get in. You couldn't see his eyes because he was wearing sunglasses. And he was glad, because when he saw you like that, his heart broke. He wanted to hold you in his arms and take care of you, kissing every little part of your face and telling you everything was gonna be alright.

Once you were in your appartment, he helped you to get in bed and prepeared a cup of tea. When he came back, he sat on the edge of your bed. He didn't say a word, you knew he was hurt.

"Thank you." You took a sip of tea.

He looked at you and pursed his lips, as if he was going to say something but he didn't.

"Please, say something. Don't be like that, I know I was wrong, I'm sorry." You pouted.

"Okay, I forgive you, are you happy?" He said expressionless.

"Joe." You left your cup on your nightstand and moved closer to him. "Don't say it because that's what I want to hear, say it because you feel it."

"I'm feeling this, but you're too busy with your new friend that you don't seem to know me anymore." He gave you a glowering look and you sighed.

"Joey, please, look at me." You took his hand and rubbed it softly. He looked at your hands and then moved his eyes to meet yours. "Forgive me, please. You don't have an idea of how much I miss you." You were already in tears. He sighed.

"I miss you too." He opened his arms wide and pulled you in for a warm hug. You let out a small sigh while sobbing and hid your face in his neck, you could smell his scent, it's been so long.

You both stood there for a few minutes while Joe caressed your back. "We have to talk about it."

"I know." You wipped your tears with your thumb. "But please, can we do it later? I feel my head is going to explode at any moment."

"Okay but just tell me something, what's going on with you?"

"I'm tired, that's all." You assured him.

Joe hesitated a few seconds until he decided to ask something he was afraid to.

"Are you pregnant?" Joe murmured.

You burst out laughing. "Are you kidding me?"

"What? I don't know about your dating life." He shrugged.

"No Joe, I'm not pregnant."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I need to sleep, that's all."

He stole a glance at his watch. "I better go, I have a meeting." He moved from your bed.

"Will I see you soon?" You asked hoping he would say yes.

"Of course, when you'll get better."

~~~

It was 08:00 p.m when Joe came back home. He lay on his couch and watched tv. Two hours later, he was sleeping when he heard the doorbell riging. He was so sleepy that he didn't remember falling sleep.

When he opened the door, he frowned. Aaron and you were standing there, beaming cheerfully. You looked better than you did in the morning.

"Surprise! Are you going to make us wait any longer? This pizza is waiting for us!" Aaron had a pizza box in his hands.

"We wanted to visit our dear friend." You confessed. Joe let you in and told you to sit on the couch. But before, you hugged him. "I know we've seen each other in the morning but I missed you."

He smiled. "How do you feel? You definetely look better."

"I do!" You kissed his cheek and took a seat beside Aaron.

"I'm glad. I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

He disappeared for a minute and when he was walking down the hall, he heard some noises. He leaned against the wall, hiding himself and peeped. He couldn't believe his eyes. A pang of jealousy ran through his veins. He gulped, his heart was racing so fast that he swore it would jump out of his chest now. His stomach was sick. "It's all in my head" he thought, trying to convince himself but it was helpless.

You were sat on Aaron's thights, your hands playing with his hair as he held you. His strong arms were around your waist and his hands placed on your ass.

Warm lips pressed against yours. You were kissing as if you were the only people in the world, as if you weren't in your friend's house. You didn't care about anything except that kiss.

He pressed your body against his and a soft moan scaped your lips. He giggled and told you to be quiet so as not to be caught. Then, he continued devouring your mouth.

Joe was perplex, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to stop looking at you, but he couldn't.

When Aaron put his hands on your breasts, Joe knew it was enough. He couldn't look, it was killing him.

He came back to the bathroom, waiting for things to cool down a bit. "It started out with a kiss, they were acting. How did it end up like this?" He thought. This has gone too far.

[goldenmazzello]

Lay all your love on me | Part 2

(I don't own this gif. Credits to the owner)

Warning: Alcohol, anxiety, angst, hungover, languague, mixed feelings, flashbacks. 

W/C: 5k.

Masterlist

~

Although you were all exhausted from your last day on set, you were going out and have some fun and celebrate. You needed this. You all needed this. So when Ben suggested to go to a new bar for some drinks all of you enthusiastically agreed, especially because you, Joe and Rami were coming back to the US tomorrow.

Now, you were at your hotel room getting ready for your last night in London. You chose a little black dress with embroidery black sequins all over it, it also had a nice cleavage that left nothing to the imagination. That was your favorite dress, you felt absolutely confident when you wore it. You put on a pair of black high heels, you were almost ready.

Suddenly, you heard a knock from the door and gave a glance to the clock that was hang on the wall. Fuck. You were late and you hadn't done your make-up yet. You weren't used to wearing a lot of make-up, you prefered having a good skincare routine but since you've had eye bags from the exhausting week on set and your skin wasn't helping due to your PMS pimples, you decided to slightly cover them.

You opened the door and Joe was standing there, wearing a white dress shirt, a pair of black jeans, a leather jacket and a pair of black boots. He looked stunning.

"Wow, you look..." You both said at the same time and laughed. You moved your sight to the floor with blushy cheeks.

"Are you ready?" Joe asked while studying you with a curious expression from the door frame.

"Hmm...do we have time?" You played with your hands, nervously. "I mean, I've haven't done my make-up yet, but I promise it won't take more than 5 minutes. Please Joey." You looked at him with puppy eyes, trying to convince him. He chuckled.

Joey. You were the only person who called him like that. You thought that maybe his mother called him like this but no, you were the only one and Joe found it pleasant. He got annoyed when someone who wasn't you used that nickname.

"Okay, you are already pretty but anyway, you can do it, we have like 10 minutes." He checked his watch as he entered the room and sat on your bed.

"Thank you!" You hugged him and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. He could feel your scent. His heart began to beat hard like a hammer. He swallowed.

You grabbed your makeup bag which was a few inches away from the bed on a table and started to apply your red lipstick quickly. Joe was following every movement. You bent over the table to have a better look of your face in your little mirror to apply concealer and Joe couldn't help but fixate his eyes on your thighs and then, your ass. it wasn't the first time he did it, but that little dress allowed him to have a perfect view of your long legs and he couldn’t resist. 

"I'm ready!" You turned around and faced him, he was silent and pretended to look at the window. "You okay?" You walked towards him and grabbed his hand.

"Y-yes, I was just...thinking about our flight" He lied. You rubbed his hand gently and sat by his side. You'll be the death of him.

"Sure? You look...tense" You said worried.

He nodded. "I'm tired but I not going to stay in bed in our last night in London." He tittered.

"Okay, let's get going!"

~

The bar was overcrowded, something to expect for a bar that opened two weeks ago. There were some tables and chairs lined up against the walls and others were just packed into the middle of the room. It was kinda dark, since the lights were red colored, but it was perfect, you still could see people’s faces. Music from the 70s, 80s and 90s was playing at the background.

As you sat at the table, you could notice that it was full of bottles that Ben and Gwilym had brought, since they were the first of the group to arrive.

“Well, you really want us to celebrate tonight Ben.” You raised an eyebrow while looking at them. Ben giggled. 

“Of course!” He said as he grabbed a glass and poured champagne on it. “Where are Rami and Lucy?” 

“Here!” They shouted from the door and walked towards the table. “What the hell...we’re only six in here. why is the the perfect amount of alcohol for the entire bar?” Lucy asked, blinking. 

“Your blonde friend wants us to be shit-faced.” Replied Gwylim and took a sip of wine. Ben shrugged. 

You raised your drinks and Ben began talking "Cheers for this movie and everything that will come with this!"

"Cheers for us guys!" Rami shouted.

Bohemian Rhapsody was a very promising movie. It was one of the most anticipating of the year worldwide, so maybe it will lead to awards nominations such as the Oscars and it also will give all of you more recognition. The best was yet to come.

An hour later, you’ve already drunk half of what was on the table. it was going to be a long night.

There was a tall blonde girl leaned on the bar counter, who was gazing at your table. She was having a drink with a straw that made her lips look big. Maybe, she was doing it on purpose.

“Hey, that girl is trying to get your attention.” Ben elbowed Joe and he looked at her. 

Your eyes rapidly moved to Joe, waiting for his next move. 

“Go and have fun.” Gwylim blinked. 

“I don’t know, I don’t think she’s looking for me.” Joe commented.

Joe wasn’t interested at all, especially since you were on his thoughts all day. But maybe, if he tried to talk to other women he could keep his mind occupied for a bit. Whatsmore, he has been in a forced celibacy for the past months due to filming so it could be an opportunity.

"Are you kidding me? Joe, she's been staring at you for like the last five minutes." Gwilym said. "Go and invite her a drink, do something!"

Joe hesitated for a minute until he put his phone in his pocket and went with her.

You didn't know why, but something made you feel sick to your stomach. Why were you feeling like this for Joe? He was your friend and you should be happy for him. Did you...like him? It wasn't a secret that he was very attractive, but you never thought about him as your lover.

Your not-so-sober state was making you feel so nauseous. You were also tired from your last days of work which were stressing and hadn't been eating properly because you were busy. This wasn’t going to end well. 

You stopped drinking and sighed. There was a growing unease running through your veins, you couldn't take it anymore. You rushed to the bathroom. Fortunately, you were the only one in there. You locked yourself in an individual loo and pressed your forehead against the door, breathless. You closed your eyes and tried to catch your breath, but you felt as if the sharp point of a knife was stabbing you in the chest. The feeling of your heavy pounding heart and a persistent tightness in your shoulders were taking over you. You began to count, one, two, three, four to remove the explosion in your brain that was sending your thoughts spiraling out of control. You couldn't put into words the way you were feeling.

A few minutes later, your breath was becoming normal. You stayed there, trying to recover.

You thought it wasn't going to happen anymore, or at least tonight.

On the other side of the bar, Ben noticed that you were gone. He looked for you desperately, but he couldn't find you anywhere.

He immediately went to the bar counter where Gwilym was standing there, laughing out loud, he has just moved his hand on Joe's head and disheveled him, showing off his perm. Joe wasn't happy at all but the girl just laughed and continued talking.

"Guys, I can't find (y/n) anywhere." Ben explained.

Joe's eyes widened. he apologized with the girl and looked for you. Gwilym followed him.

"Why don't we tell Lucy to go and see if she's in the bathroom? She might be there."

"It's a good idea but, where is Lucy?" Joe moved to the crowd where Rami and Lucy were rocking their bodies to some 80s love songs.

Joe explained her what happened and she went to the bathroom. Rami helped the boys.

What if someone hurt you? what if you were in danger and you couldn't ask for help? Joe couldn't stop thinking about the worst case scenario. He felt a twinge in his chest.

As Lucy entered the bathroom, she looked under each door and felt relaxed when she saw your black high heels there.

"(y/n)? (y/n), are you okay?" She knocked the door.

She sent a message to your group chat.

Lucy: I found her, she's in the bathroom. Don't worry.

"Yes, absolutely." You opened the door and she almost jumps. Your eyes were red and your mascara was running on your cheeks.

"What happened? Did someone do anything to you?" She hugged you tight and you hugged she back even thighter.

"No, no. I'm just...I don't know, I was feeling anxious but I think I'm better now." You moved to the mirror and opened the tap water. You washed your face.

"Was it for anything in particular? What were you doing when you started feeling like that?"

You explained the situation and she hugged you again. “I’m here for you, don’t worry.” She said sweetily. You smiled. 

You came back and the guys sighed in relief.

"She's okay, don't bother her." Lucy warned them. Joe sat beside you and put his hand on your shoulder.

"Do you need anything?" Rami asked.

"Give me that." You snatched the wine bottle off his hands.

The blonde girl showed up again. She whispered something on Joe's ear and gave him a piece of paper. Then, she blinked at him and left the bar.

"Man, what's on the paper?" Ben was dying to know about it. Joe gave it to Rami. Ben stucked out his tongue.

Rami opened it. "Ohh, what a heartbreaker you are, Mr. Mazzello." He gave it back to him. Joe held it in his hands as he read.

"I really liked your perm. If you fancy doing something after the bar, let me know 64788433"

Joe tore the paper and took a sip of wine. Ben, Rami and Gwilym's jaw dropped. You felt relieved. "What?"

"I can't believe you're wasting such an opportunity!" Ben said with a wide eyed face.

"She's not my type." He continued drinking.

He didn't feel like leaving you. He felt alarmed by your state, you were his friend and he wan’t going to leave you when you were feeling like that.  Although he didn't know what happened to you, he could notice you were tense. He would do anything to make you feel better.

"Dude, you're mad. It's your last night here." Rami insisted. Joe didn't care.

"And, what about you? Did you find anyone for tonight" Gwilym asked you, mischivously.

You almost choke. "W-What?"

"You know, a one-night stand.” He moved up his eyebrows. You giggled.

"I'm not much into that, I'm more classic, you know." You confessed.

"Come here, I'm gonna find you a hot date!" Lucy begged you.

"It's okay Lu, I wanna be on my own tonight." You smiled gently.

~

It was 2 a.m, you were all a mess and there were like 3 more hours ahead. Oh shit.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming to our place tonight.” Yelled a man from the little scenario, holding a microphone. ”It’s 2 a.m and that means, It’s karaoke time!” He raised his arms and people clapped excitedly. “We invite you to come here with a partner and give us a performance! Who will be our first duo tonight?” 

“Here! These pretty girls right here are going to sing first.” Ben jumped from his chair and pointed at you and Lucy, who gaped at you. 

“Oh no, shut up Benjamin!” You tried to sat him back to his place but it was impossible. 

“Come on girls, let’s go!" The man encourage both of you. Everybody turned their heads to your table. You swallowed.

"Are you sure?" You asked Lucy and she shrugged.

"I guess we have to do it, we have no choice." She said in a small panicky voice as the whole bar was waiting for you to go.

"Fuck, then let's do it."

You rapidly took two more shots of vodka so as not to be so conscious of what you were going to do and walked towards the scenario with her. As you got out of your chair, Joe followed your body with his eyes. He swore no one ever looked so good in a dress and it hurt him to know he couldn't have you that night.

Ben took out his phone from his pocket and started to record, maybe it would end up posted on Instagram.

"So, to who do we owe the pleasure tonight?" The man handed Lucy and you microphones.

"I'm Lucy and she's my friend (y/n)." Everybody clapped and there were some whistling. For a second, you regretted wearing that dress.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Lucy and (y/n)!" He yelled, leaving the scenario.

You both moved to the little screen you had in front of you. Lucy chose Wannabe by the Spice Girls.

You took a deep breath and started singing. "Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want." You moved your head to Lucy's direction.

"So tell me what you want, what you really, really want." She sang and held your hand. You both started moving your hips from side to side following the rhythm of the music, trying to remember some moves from the music video.

The boys were singing and clapping from the table, totally enjoying it. You started to feel more comfortable and to enjoy it too.

"If you wanna be my lover." You both sang the last line of the song and hugged. You quickly came back with the boys while you heard clapping again.

"You girls nailed it!" Rami gave Lucy a quick peck.

"I still hate you, Ben. You better be careful, I'll kill you." You blustered annoyed. He mocked you. 

"Please tell me you're going to sing with me!" Joe put his best puppy face that made it hard to deny anything.

"Yeah Joe, when pigs fly!"

Two hours later, you and Joe were on the scenario, you were totally sloshed.

"Purple rain, purple rain. I only wanted to see you underneath the purple rain." You both sang from the top of your lungs. Joe had his arm around your waist and you had yours around his neck, moving backwards and forwards, trying to dance.

"For you Ben, I'll ruin my voice for you!" Joe pointed at Ben, who was trying to hide behind Gwilym.

Joe lost his balanced and fell to the ground, but that didn't stop him for singing. Screaming.

"I only wanted to see you underneath the AHHHHHHHH PURPLE RAIN, PURPLE RAIN, UHHHHHH." He grabbed your leg like a kid.

"Okay Joey, it's enough." You burst out laughing and helped him up.

~

As fast as you opened your eyes, you closed them. A merciless sunbeam was squirting straight in, making the oppressive force in your head go deeper. You turned around and checked your phone, 12:30 p.m, you had to be at the airport in exactly five hours. 

You couldn’t remember neither coming back to the hotel nor falling asleep. As you sat up bed with a rather unpleasant feeling, you felt a shiver down your spine, the room was cold and you were still wearing your black dress. You felt a wave of nausea and ran to the bathroom. You ended up bent over the toilet, puking your guts out. You haven’t been like this in months. The last time you were like this was last year when your ex broke up with you. When you finished puking, you struggled to lift your head up, but the head throbbing was making it impossible. You rested your head in your hands and began to rub your temples, trying to massage away the headache. It was pointless. You felt you were going to die in about five minutes. 

You looked at your face in the mirror, your mascara was running on your cheeks and your red lipstick was smeared, you looked terrible. After cleaning up your face with a damp cloth, you turned on the shower and tossed your dress and your underwear. You felt really gross. The drops of water running down your body felt warm and you enjoyed it. After a long shower, you got changed into your comfiest clothes and finished packing. 

While you were drinking water, your phone buzzed. Joe was calling. 

“Hey, how are you?” Asked Joe with a husky voice. He might have just woken up. 

“I feel like shit, I’m never drinking again.” You protested. Joe laughed. 

That's what everybody says waking up with a terrible hangover and then, they drink again and repeat it over and over again.

“We both know that’s a pretty unconvincing lie.” 

“Well, I’m not drinking any soon. That sounds better?” 

“Absolutely.” You nodded, smiling. “Can you come to my room? I can’t move and I feel I’m about to pass out if I don’t drink water soon. Please, I’m gonna die, don’t let me die!” Joe screamed, being totally dramatic. 

“You aren’t gonna die, Joey. I’m on my way.” You hang and walked towards his room. You knocked the door and Joe cursed, he had to get out of bed. 

“God, I can’t even walk.” Joe said as you entered the room. He jumped back to bed. “Come here.” 

“Are you sure?” You asked, walking on his direction. 

“Of course, come here, I’m gonna die.” Joe pouted. You rolled your eyes and lay in bed. 

You called room service and they brought you bottles of water and some snacks. 

“Joe, you have to take short sips of water.” 

“I’m thirsty.” 

“I know but it would get worse.” You squeezed his bottle and now, his face was wet. You laughed out loud. 

“You’ll regret it.” He left the bottle on the nightstand and started to tickle you. 

“Please, please, please, Joe, stop or I’m gonna throw up the water, please stop” You begged between laughs. Joe stopped and you sighed in relief. 

“Well, I see you aren’t feeling so bad after all.” 

“Kinda, but I wanna stay here until we head to the airport.” He moved close to you. 

“So do I.” You placed his head on your chest and hugged him. Joe felt he was going to die. 

Never had he been this close before. He didn’t want to move because he was practicaly on your boobs. He tried to avoid any dirty thoughts but his view wasn't helping. When he felt your fingers through his hair, he closed his eyes.

Joe wished this was part of his routine. You and him, waking up together on the same bed, him, giving you kisses all over your face and body. He wanted to kiss you so bad. He liked to think that your lips were as soft as a cotton. He hoped someday he’ll find out if he was right.

"You know," said Joe, breaking the silence. "I think you've never told me, but how did you find out about Queen?" Joe questioned.

It was a rainy cold saturday afternoon. Boredom had taken over you, so you decided to sit on your computer while your mom was baking a delicious banana bread while your dad was working on a project for his job, you assumed that he had become a workaholic because no one would ever dedicate so much time to his job on a free day.

"Can you look for a song on YouTube? It's awfully noiseless in here." Your dad said stretching his back, he had been sitting for like 5 hours.

You knew that your dad liked The Rolling Stones so you clicked on Start me Up music video. When it finished, you checked on YouTube's suggestions. Queen - I Want to Break Free. You knew that Queen was a well-known British band but you've never listened to any of their songs.

"Dad, mom, do you like Queen?"

"Yeah, well, I used to listen to them a lot when I was young." Your dad told you.

"One of my favorite songs by Queen used to be I Want to Break Free." Your mom said as he took out the banana bread out of the oven. It smelled amazing.

"That's the one YouTube suggested me."

You watched the music video while eating what your mother have just cooked. What a pretty girl, you thought when a blonde schoolgirl appeared in the kitchen. A few months later, you realized it was actually Roger Taylor.

"I can't believe you thought he was actually a girl." Joe couldn't stop laughing.

"In my defense, some people in the 70s thought he was a woman."

"And then what happened?"

"Then, there wasn't a day in which I didn't listen to Queen, and nowadays it's still that way. I really love them. They helped me through difficult times and they still do.” 

He smiled. “It’s crazy how every person has at least a memory of Queen in their lives. I remember that Bohemian Rhapsody was the first song I downloaded on Napster.” You interrupted him. 

“Which is ilegal.” 

“Shh, don’t tell Brian and Roger.” You giggled. “And then,” he continued. “When I directed Undrafted, I would drive every morning listening to Somebody to Love and it gave me good vibes for the day. It was great” 

You talked for like two hours about Queen. Now, you were on Joe's chest. "What are your plans for the next days?" Joe started to play with your hair.

"I'm staying in New Jersey with my family, you know, it's been a while since I've seen them. And the other week I'm having an audition in New York for a theater play."

"Great, what is its name?"

"It's Romeo and Juliet. A classic. I really hope I'll get this, otherwise I don't know what I'll do." You sighed.

"You'll get the role, don't worry about it, you are wonderful." Joe grabbed your hand and you rubbed his.

"Thank you. And what are you up to this week? Any meeting or something?" You inquired.

"Not yet. I'm going to visit my family and some friends and of course I'll wait for you to free so we can start with our To do list in New York." He smiled sheepishly.

"I can't wait for it!"

"Hmm, I was meaning to ask it earlier but anyway, what happened last night?"

You were frozen. You tried to find the exact words to explain him you were feeling anxious and that you didn't know the reason why. He let you know that you could always count on him.

A few minutes later, Joe fell asleep, he was still holding your hand. You stared at him for like an eternity and thought about how you felt last night. You weren't sure about your feelings as something more than a friend. You loved him with all your heart, he had become someone you really cared for, you were together all the time and you knew that it would still be like that from now.

He had a peaceful look in his face that made your heart melt. You were grateful that you were going to spend a few days in your hometown where you will have enough time to clear your mind.

~

After a week at your parents' home, you came back to your apartment in New York and now, you were getting ready for your audition. You kept reading the script over and over again while you were on your way in the taxi.

While you were waiting in the queue to enter the theater, your phone buzzed. It was a message.

Joe: Good luck sweetie!

You were beaming from ear to ear.

~

Joe finished cooking one of his specialties, meatballs with spaghetti, his favorite food. His friend Aaron was about to come in any minute. It was a long time since they last reunited, especially because they were busy with their acting careers.

The doorbell rang and Joe opened the door of his house. Aaron Tveit was standing there, holding a bottle of wine and some cans of beer happily.

As they ate, they talked about their lasts projects and brought up some memories of Joe's movie, Undrafted, in which they were co-stars. When they were about to finish the delicious supper, the doorbell rang. They looked at each other.

"Is it really the doorbell?" Aaron asked, confused.

"Yes but, that's strange, I'm not expecting anyone."

Joe opened the door and his gaze flickered over your presence. 

“I wasn't expecting to see you until tomorrow, what a lovely surprise!” His smiled disappeared when he noticed you were weeping. "What's wrong?" 

“Sorry I came out of the blue but I really need you.” When you leaned over the frame of the door trying to enter his house, you saw he had a guest. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know you had people tonight. I can come tomorrow morning." You moved backwards. 

“Don’t leave, (y/n).” He grabbed your arm. “You can join us.” You hesitated, “Please, stay.” 

You entered his house and he took you to the kitchen, not before telling his friend he would be back in a minute. You sat on the counter and he stood in front of you. “Tell me, what happened?” 

“The audition...” You played with the edge of your shirt, avoiding his gaze. “It was awful, they treated me so unkind...and obviously I didn’t get the role.” 

“I’m so sorry, (y/n).” He embraced you in such a tender and warm way that made you feel safe immediately. He rubbed your back and whispered sweet things in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. 

You couldn't lie, in the days you spent away in New Jersey, Joe couldn't leave your mind. He was there, 24/7 and you couldn't stop talking about him to your family. Your mom only needed two hours to say you were having feelings for him, despite your denial. 

“Forget about that.” He took you to the dining room, where his friend was with his phone. As he saw you were coming, he left it on the table and smiled.

"(y/n), he's Aaron. Aaron, she's (y/n)." Joe introduced each other. Aaron was a brown haired man with beautiful blue eyes. He seemed to be in his mid 30s, just like Joe.

You remembered seeing them on tv, he was in Gossip Girl!

"It's nice to meet you, Joe talked about you a lot!" He admitted. Joe blushed and you smiled.

Did he really talk about you with his friends?

Joe insisted on serving you a plate of food and you acepted it. An hour passed, now you felt better, Aaron was so friendly.

“I’m having an audition on friday for a musical, If you like, I’ll give you the script.” Aaron said while you were having a sip of wine. 

“What is it about?” 

“It’s a Broadway musical based on the movie Grease. I think you’ll like it. They are looking for someone to play Sandy Olsson." 

You almost choke. “B-Broadway? Oh God. I don’t know..” 

Broadway. It was a tempting proposal, but you weren’t sure if you were going to be acepted to play a role in a such an incredible musical, especially after your failed audition from today. 

“Hey, why don’t you give it a try?” Suggested Joe. “You have nothing to lose. It’s a big opportunity, you should definitly go.”

“And you still have time to prepare for this.” Aaron unlocked his phone and asked for your number. “I’ve just sent you the script. Don’t worry, I can help you if you want, you can call me at any moment and I’ll try to help you. Tomorrow I’ll send you the adress and everything you need to know. And if you want, I can pick you up and we can go together.” 

“That would be nice, thank you.” You smiled. 

“So, that’s a yes?” Joe asked expectantly. 

“Yes!” 

Joe was absolutely happy for you. However, his mind was being cruel.

“Joey, are you listening to me?” You asked him. He rubbed his eyes. 

“Sorry, I think I’m falling asleep. What were you saying?” 

“Can I stay here tonight?” 

“Sure!” 

He had to do something, too much love will kill him. 

[goldenmazzello]

Hi, I love your fics so much

Thank you😍 I'm writing more atm and I'll post them soon.