#I'm more of a distraction vs a comforter and all my comfort is logic based in order to ground people

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hey, would you mind typing me? I'm really sorry if this sounds awkward or overly formal. It's kind of just how I write because I have a rough time finding the right way to phrase things so I usually end up being too casual, too formal, or a weird mix of both. I structured this ahead of time but it ended up being scattered anyway and it's kind of long. 1. I have difficulty keeping one interest for a long time. I've been interested in MBTI for long enough that it'll stick, but I haven't (1/8)

really typed myself. The only two things I have some certainty over is that I don't have high fe(Put shortly, I have little ability to understand social customs or what is expected of me and get frustrated because of this. I care about how others are affected by my actions, but even when I'm trying to be conscious of it, I can't even reasonably guess at how they are unless it's obvious. I tend to not be very helpful when comforting people because I'm not sure how they want to be comforted) (2/8)

and my perceiving axis is probably Si/Ne but I'm not sure of the order. Either of these conclusions could be wrong. 2. For the following, I believe this is the case for most people, but thought process may be different. During a conflict, I get frustrated when the line of communication isn't open. This includes when I am not strongly involved and otherwise. To give a few examples, a. One of my friends(f1) complained for about a week about being upset with another friend(f2). When f2 told (3/8)

some of my friends and I that he was upset over f1 being mad at him, I told him why f1 was mad. While usually I hate meddling in other people's business or sharing things I'm not sure someone wants to be shared, it didn't make sense to me that f1 hadn't told f2 why he was mad. It didn't allow for any resolution, only for more confusion and pointless conflict. b. For an argument where I was more involved - my sister and I are very close. At one point we had a fight, she told me she'd been (4/8)

upset with me for a long while. I was distraught by this because at the time I couldn't remember what I'd done for her to be this mad and because if she'd been mad for that long, it didn't make sense to me that she wouldn't express it. Now I look back and realize that I'd been sort of lashing out at times for seemingly no reason(I was overwhelmed because I had been constantly doing things for days with no time to process in between. This is not to say I'm an introvert in mbti, there are (5/8)

other things that could point to the reverse that I touch upon later) 3. This is not to say I hate conflict in general, because I really don't. Usually, but not always, I'm pretty honest in expressing my thoughts on a subject whether or not others that are present think differently. I'll try not to be rude about it, but I have a rough time outright lying to people. I'm also a bad liar so there's that. 4. I'm a pretty vocal person, sometimes annoyingly so. Some comments people have had on (6/8)the way I talk is that I'll say a lot in a burst, then suddenly pull back. This isn't inaccurate, but I also just sometimes talk a lot in a flow and not stop until the other person looks like they want to say something. 5. I'm sort of detail-oriented. I like refining a project and trying to get everything done correctly, but I recognize time constraints and that there is a point at which it's impossible. I can recognize that some of my work is just busy work, but I don't mind doing it (7/8)

bc grades. 6. Enneagram is really hard for me to pin down. My fear is of literal nothingness or of not having control over myself and, by extension, what's going on around me. To deal with this, I avoid thinking about it by distracting myself. To me, this sounds like 7 or 8, but my behavior doesn't fit either type. I'm not super impulsive and not directly confrontational and in charge. Sorry if this isn't enough to type, also, forgot to push anon once. Thank you in advance. (8/8)

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This is interesting because usually my first thought when people apologize multiple times throughout the post my first thought is high Fe, and my second thought is dom Fi. The part about the friends sounds more like a thinker in that you’re going to the logical solution without entirely considering the interpersonal politics and motivations that may have led to this.

Beyond that however this comes off as just very...indecisive? There’s a lot of hedging and talking about what you aren’t but not much about what you are, and the examples outside of the ones about your friends and sister are fairly minimal. You mention Si-Ne but I can’t really get a sense of any specific perceiving functions for this. I also suspect you’re introverted in part because of that indecision; even though Ne-doms can be indecisive, you really do not sound like an Ne-dom to me.

The part about enneagram does not sound like 7 or 8 to me; distracting one’s self is extremely normal stress behavior for all people. I would dig into it but my guess is 6 and it’s less a fear of lack of personal control over the situation and more a fear of the situation spiralling out of control and you being unable to do anything in response. This does indicate I probably need to do another enneagram review because based on my questions this week there are some really weird ideas still going around.

Anyway, for MBTI I find myself also kind of working from a position of what you’re not. You don’t strike me as intuitive from what you’ve said here, nor high Te. My guesses would be either ISFJ or ISFP actually, for different reasons; I would also not rule out ISTP. The FAQ has some Si vs. Se stuff, or if you can provide more information that you think would be relevant to Si/Se I can try to narrow things down.

One thing I think worth noting is that a good deal of what I’d consider good reading of people/situations is the ability to know that you need to use your words. Reading, after all, involves several parts: understanding what’s going on, and understanding what to do in response. For example, most people over the age of 5 can recognize basic emotions, like sadness, in others. People who are very observant can often pick up on more subtle tells of more complicated or deliberately hidden emotions. However, it’s much harder to know what to do. Some sad people want a hug. Some sad people want to be left alone. And if you give a hug to someone who wants to be left alone or vice versa, you read the emotion right but you misread the appropriate response, and it takes a decent amount of self-awareness to recognize “oh hey this person is sad and I don’t know what to do” vs assuming you do know what to do.