#I'm posting this on April Fools Day for plausible deniability

[stygiusfic]

u cant spell sword without words thats what i always say. with that in mind pls 19, 20, 22 and 23 :D

you are RIGHT and you should say it!! those five letters don't lie!! <3

19. the most interesting topic you've researched for a fic

traditionally I've been allergic to writing anything that requires extensive research. either I won't have the patience for it, or worse, I'll get sucked into the research and never actually start writing. this is why I don't do modern AUs, I prefer to write fictional settings where I can make up the rules.

i did fall down a research hole of flower language when i was writing the hanahaki fic, and that was a lot of fun! (I did waste weeks of bigbang drafting time on that, though...)

20. in what year did you publish your first fic?

trying to count the rings on my tree trunk, i see... my earliest fic posted to ao3 on my first account is dated May 2008, but I was definitely posting elsewhere online for quite a few years before that. I think the very first may have been around 2003 on a forum for my first fandom, but I've lost track of the post so idk for sure. 

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you're writing? how do you get past that?

let me tell you a story. I wrote that cursed skelly/zagreus fic (my proud masterpiece Hard to Port) in half a day in january of 2021 to mess with all-star hades writer thepleiades, and I was half-expecting I would be chased out of the fandom with torches and pitchforks for it, so I waited until April Fool's to post it, for plausible deniability.

then after posting it I gained 3 whole subscribers on ao3. the following day i posted a perfectly normal thanzag fic and I lost 4 subscribers

the lesson from the universe here is to always write for the sake of trolling your friends and having fun, and also that trying to predict anyone else's reactions is probably pointless. 

(it still gives me weird anxiety to post now and then, especially if it's something i worked hard on, but slowly I'm getting better at turning my brain off after I hit post. my days of vibrating out of my skin hoping my latest fic will be well-received are certainly coming to a middle. maybe even three-quarters!)

23. pick three words that describe your writing

i answered this one here so i will trade you for the next!

24. how do you recharge when you're not feeling creative?

brain's a sponge so sometimes you just have to walk away if there isn't enough water to squeeze out. I like to read and watch new media for a change of pace, and usually that helps get me out of a rut! other times I'm stuck because the story has a problem I haven't figured out how to fix yet, and when that happens I talk about it to my pet bunny and he just stares or lies down because he enjoys hearing voices. and then very often my problem is magically fixed!

(wip ask meme)

[wellntruly]

My Favorite Films of 2020

AT LAST, I’m calling it: I’m done with 2020 (movies)

Given the greater access to streaming rentals during These Times, my goal was to see if I could catch 50 entries in this year’s film slate, and I did it. A deeply pandemic-inflected benchmark from multiple angles, whether this will be my own New Normal I truly cannot say!

Thank god, I’d already written at least some sort of initial response to every single one of these, so each title links to my diary entry for the film on Letterboxd, which either ends there in just a capsule review, or further links to a longer write-up if I did one.

I’ve arranged the following list counting up from my #20 to my #1, then listed all the also-rans just in descending order, then lastly the docs in their own section because my brain really struggles to weigh fiction and non-fiction together on the same scale.

OKAY LET’S DROP MY TOPS:

20. Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Yes this feels almost like watching a mythic trial, but that’s its power

19. The Assistant

Should probably be higher; it’s personal!

18. The Personal History of David Copperfield

Should probably be lower; it’s personal!

17. Emma.

Very sneaky of this movie to make me into Knightley

16. The Old Guard

Sorry to come back and secretly edit this but. I still think about this. I still think about this. The legs!

15. Promising Young Woman

I think this movie hinges entirely on whether you think everything it’s doing is missing the point, or is the point. It’s an interesting piece of art in that regard, and I think some others too.

14. Bacurau

For all that I still feel the screen-time ratio is off here, the STYLE and STORY of this has stuck with me so hard all the way since LAST April. A friend once sent me a “Steal His Look” meme for Lunga and I still think about that all the time, too.

13. Wolfwalkers

The most gorgeous animation since Into the Spider-verse will get you far on my list

12. Shirley

THE BENNINGTON. JUMPED. OUT.

11. La Llorona

Latin American magical realism is practically a guaranteed get on me, so ultimately it’s little wonder this landed as high as it did.

*

And now we enter the final ten. Every one of these got here because something in my heart freaked out while I was watching it. It’s about to become less explainable! 

10. Let Them All Talk

I had such a good time watching this sweet & mean literary boat flick that I felt like I was indulging in something illegal, or at the very least frowned upon. I also felt too drunk to care!

9. Mangrove, with a chaser of Lovers Rock

Kind of Steve McQueen to put the two best of this film cycle first and second. They make a lovely pair, a long & carefully structured story of Black struggle and a short & lyrical exploration of Black playfulness. Small Axe made this December special!

8. Martin Eden

The only way I can conceptualize it at this point is that it’s like this Italian Jack London film snuck up and robbed me blind, and now I’m just here cheerily rocking with my hands in my empty pockets going “I don’t know what to tell you!” Cannot wait to chaotically recommend this to casual acquaintances.

7. One Night In Miami

Nothing has made me miss the WARMTH of theatre like this movie.

6. The Nest

Please trust me and the seventeen other people who have seen The Nest when we all say without a lick of hesitation that it’s one of the best movies of the year.

5. Bad Education

F*CK this is good. Like The Nest, just another impeccable grift thriller. I love movies!!

4. The Vast of Night

One of those where I know exactly what my few problems with it are, however it does not functionally matter at all as I am in love with it. I’ve only watched two 2020 movies twice already, and this is one of them. The other is my #1.

3. Minari

Sometimes a year of hype cannot but leave you feeling a little let down by the time you can finally see it, or it’s Minari and leaves you a startled sobbing mess, in the best way.

2. Sound of Metal

This took me by storm. Or like the creaking, fragile quiet after the storm when you’re gathering up the pieces.

1. First Cow

I just Love! That! Cow!

* * *

There are still a lot of other films from last year I thought totally had their appeals, just didn’t manage to crack my Top 20, and also…some other ones, so let’s just keep going, for the drama:

21. Another Round

22. Nomadland

23. Judas and the Black Messiah

24. The Old Guard

25. On the Rocks

26. Palm Springs

27. The Father

28. Night of the Kings

29. The World To Come

30. Tesla

31. Bill & Ted Face the Music

32. I’m Thinking of Ending Things

33. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

34. Da 5 Bloods

35. Ammonite

36. Kajillionaire

37. Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

38. The Midnight Sky

39. The Trial of the Chicago 7

40. Mank (pls blank)

* * *

And lastly, I also watched a bunch of documentaries this year, many of which were very different from the usual talking heads approach, and one of which was the Talking Heads. (It was actually just David Byrne but I couldn’t resist the Joke !)

Starting at the top this time:

1. Dick Johnson Is Dead

2. Collective

3. The Painter and the Thief

4. American Utopia

5. The Mole Agent

6. Time

7. MLK/FBI

8. Spaceship Earth

9. Mucho Mucho Amore

10. My Octopus Teacher

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