#I'm probably being unreasonable with my frustrations but they have frustrated me nonetheless

[capillaryspice]

Unpopular opinion rant incoming:

I did not enjoy Baldurs Gate 3

Before anything else I will admit I am biased, as strategy turn based games aren't something I'm usually into to begin with. I mostly ended up playing it because my partners and a friend are SUPER into the game and wanted to do a 4 player run. I do have 30 hours on a solo run I tried to get used to the game with, so I have a decent bit of experience with how it's supposed to run as a single player but I'm not judging companion stories or anything because I haven't completed them.

I do understand why people like BG3, and I don't wanna rain on anyone's parade for a very critically acclaimed game, but I do have some thoughts that I just need to get out of my head, so if you like the game and don't wanna hear me complain about it just scroll on ahead. If you do want to hear me complain, I'd love to hear if anyone else has had the same thoughts, because genuinely I've not really had anyone to talk to that hasn't been head-over-heels for it. (Actual thoughts under the cut)

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With that out of the way, for starters BG3 is a very impressive game. From a technical perspective, from a voice acting quality perspective, the sheer amount of tiny tiny details, etc... it is IMPRESSIVE. Too impressive, I'd almost have to say. Because, despite being impressed by it, I did not have FUN playing the game. For all its details it doesn't draw me in. For all the technical marvel, it's just too janky. It's all of the rules of DND and none of the immersion or fun

I would love to have had a functioning camera position that didn't give me whiplash whenever a new character in the combat of 20+ NPCs decides to do so much as shuffle to the left. It feels like pulling teeth when trying to select/interact with anything, god forbid a reaction happens while you're trying to attack and you just completely lose the action bc the interruption to movement pauses everything and screws u up. I'd love to be able to jump without going through two menu screens and a map to just hop over a gap(I'm never complaining about the Dark Souls jump being too complicated ever again). Also everything moves so slow, I would kill for a fucking Sprint button.

I would have liked anything approaching a streamlined combat system that didn't take a long ass time to set up a move that takes six seconds to play out, and then wait for ten minutes literally doing nothing while the rest of the NPCs in initiative whip the viewpoint around and get it stuck in walls and corpses so I can't even see what's happening while I can't do anything for the rest of the round

A lesser gripe, but just a bizarre choice to not do: Id like to hear the character voice I chose in character creation for cutscenes, instead of just background ambient lines. Like, if the last dragon age game (from 2014 mind you) can have a voiced main character with multiple voice options, this new game that has unique voice lines for every goddamn squirrel on the map and ALREADY PAID VOICE ACTORS TO VOICE THE MAIN CHARACTER TO BEGIN WITH can probably afford to do so. Hell, I'd like some background music that isn't just the tenth rendition of Down By The River in a different key. The bard music is all gorgeous, why couldn't they have reused some of those compositions as ambient music for different locations?

This is a MASSIVE game, and what they've put into it is definitely admirable, but like. Not in the ways that make a game breathable or immersive? The choices in where they've decided to dedicate the anal level of detail seems misguided from a just general player standpoint; There's some gorgeous settings in the game, but I was distracted every time by getting frustrated that I couldn't even get a more-than-vague look at any of the scenery I actually enjoyed because the camera is so limited in its angles. So I can't take a good look around what should be a beautiful temple that I'd love to see closer, but I can individually inspect every moldy apple and tax form on a random dinner table instead. It's a vast open world, but the character models have very clearly defined paths they have to stay within. The amount of unique NPCs is insane, but the mechanics themselves TREAT them as NPCs(i.e., resurrection rules), and they don't react to PCs unless ur doing Violence or Crimes (even og skyrim had NPCs have comments on if u weren't like wearing clothes, for instance). Every shelf and bag and nook and cranny are searchable, but that gets overwhelming very quickly as you have to choose between taking like an hour of real time to clear a cluttered area and possibly find something important but more likely just end up with a bajillion rotten carrots, or move on but have the anxiety of knowing you've possibly missed something vital. There's a million options you can take at any moment with any object or character, but there's rarely anything indicating what will be vital later for general world stuff. But then with the main plot (the Emperor, Raphael, the crèche) it felt very railroaded in the sense that TECHNICALLY you could try and choose between outcomes, but your choices don't actually matter because you die if you choose The Wrong Option (or end up in effectively death sentence combat) and will end up where they want you to go regardless.

BG3 isn't a game I want to spend time playing; it's not a world I can wander around and appreciate the beauty of and get lost in the soundtrack or the environments. The whole combat system is incredibly frustrating to manage, and just feels like Hurry Up And Wait. I'm not gonna knock the romance parts of the game, I've heard good things and haven't gotten far enough in any of em to have an educated opinion on, so really the only thing the game has to offer in spades OTHER than romance is replayability. Which normally I would say is a good thing, but for how long of a game it is and how non immersive the gameplay and world feel, it really just ends up being a game of fucking around and seeing how many things you can get an alternate dialogue for or create new stats around. Like, this is great for completionist folks who love collecting achievements and making the most busted crunchy math-based builds possible, but Baldurs Gate 3 to me just isn't a game I can sit down and have Fun(TM) relaxing and playing.

It's a game that I feel absolutely missed the forest for the trees.

So anyways, essay complete. I've only slept like 6 hours total in the last three days so a lot of this may or may not even make sense. But on so much sleep deprivation finishing this game and realizing I was just frustrated with it instead of actually feeling accomplished for having finished it, it was the final straw and I just needed to get the thoughts down somewhere

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[gizzlyeagleshark]

Learning

You'd recently admitted to your boyfriend that you'd never played a video game. You grew up not being allowed so you didn't know how to play and this whole time you'd been too afraid to ask. Which was unfortunate considering that the man you loved was a gamer.

He offered to teach you but you were hesitant. It would take a lot of patience to teach someone who had never played a video game.

Nonetheless, you agreed to let him try.

"Promise you won't get angry when my inability to play well gets frustrating," you said.

"Baby, there's no way I could ever get mad at you over that," Douglas said.

"It will be hard to teach me because I don't know anything. Not even the controls."

"I'll tell you a secret. I've never taught a girl video games. So this will be new for me too."

Your boyfriend led you over to the couch and sat you on his lap. You were snuggled up in his hoodie which was oversized on you, so you pushed up the sleeves. He handed you a controller and began explaining the buttons. "This one you use to jump." He tapped it. "This one is for moving left. This one moves you right."

Douglas explained them all and let you ask questions. Then it was time for you to try an easy game. You leaned back against his strong chest while he guided your fingers over the buttons, pressing gently on your thumbs.

"This is a really simple 2D platformer," he explained. You completed the level together.

"Okay, try it again by yourself," he said.

You started the run and jumped over the first obstacle without dying. Your boyfriend held your waist instead of your hands while you played on your own.

"Beautiful," he said and you felt unreasonably giddy.

You played for a few more minutes, but died before completing the level. You grimaced at your defeat, but Douglas encouraged you to try again. "Hit A there, sweetheart," he instructed gently.

You pressed it and succeeded. "Try B now," he suggested.

You made it through the rest of the level and he gave you a kiss. "You did it!" He beamed at you and even though it was a small victory, you felt proud. You were actually having fun.

"Do you want to try a harder one?"

Slightly confident you said yes.

"Ok." He started the next level for you and let you try it without his suggestions. You failed pretty quickly and frowned. "It's okay. You're still getting the hang of it. It'll probably take awhile since you didn't grow up doing this. You'll learn in time."

"I'm confused," you said. "What does this button do again?"

He showed you and then let you try it. "Sometimes, you'll need to hit both of these at the same time. Do that here," Douglas instructed.

You made another attempt, but it didn't go as planned. "Here, let me help." Douglas guided your fingers again and it went much better.

"There you go. Just like that," he said.

You completed the level together and you turned around and smiled at him. "I adore you, baby," he said. "You're not doing bad for your first time."

"Douglas, my love, you're the best teacher," you said.

He moved your hair and kissed your cheek. His beard scratched your face, but you didn't really mind. You settled back against his chest again and replayed the level on your own.