#I'm so scared of losing what I've regained of this ability because of his obsession with me
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Nothing like waking up to your father yelling at you to study. Again.
#this is what i feared#i legitimately can't study in the mornings—my brain just goes to ''i'm tired'' and I can't concentrate#the reason i decided to go to that woman's help centre was because i had an anxiety attack thinking what he just did would become the norm#there's months till the exam so imagine what months of him not letting me sleep would do#I'm just wired to be scared of him at this point. I'm always ready for him to react badly or control me#because I mean. this is him starting to be controlling again. checking-in on my room just to see if I'm studying#I can't relax for a moment or sleep—he decides when i get to do those things and for how long#and honestly it just makes me miserable#i AM trying to get this right and secure myself a position working indefinitely—literally so i can escape this situation#my father ruined my concentration and motivation and ability to study when i began my career#he wouldn't stop messaging me to study and threaten me what would happen if i didn't#I haven't been the same since#I'm so scared of losing what I've regained of this ability because of his obsession with me#i just want to pass and have a job#and leave this place for good
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