#I'm sure I'll yell about this season as a whole someday soon

[facelessfrey]

Roswell New Mexico S1E13

- So...I need them to get renewed just so they can fix that massive cluster fuck of a mess they just made and maybe just maybe try and tell a halfway coherent story in a season 2. 

- I have SOOOOO many issues with this show as a whole, so I’m going to have to let all of this insanity marinate for awhile before I get into that. For now...I think I’m just going to yell about this one in particular. 

- What the hell even happened in this episode?!?! Why does nothing connect? Why is it structured like this?!?! AHHHHHH?!?! It’s so infuriating. 

- There are just too many disparate threads that just don’t even seem like they’re in the same episode. 

- You’ve got Kyle watching security footage and instead of having that revelation on screen, he’s clearly already watched it and just showing Alex when he shows up. And then all of a sudden he’s at the Crashdown stitching up Liz and telling her he knew that Rosa was his sister. Doesn’t tell her anything about finding that out cause then he’s unhinged and thinking about buying a gun. Then he’s back at the bunker and Manes is showing up and after all that with Alex and Michael and yeah I get that Kyle has reasons too, but he’s the one who is there to take him down for the moment?? Sure. He’s got kevlar. Okay. Fine. He’s got syringes to put people in medically induced comas. Sure. What even?!?! 

- You’ve got Michael having his stand off with Max and crying about his mom and all the dead aliens and shouting about Alex’s dad and then he’s throwing Max out a window and he’s gonna get Noah more antidote but oh wait Noah stabs him in the neck and we leave him lying in a pool of his own blood. But then wait, Max wakes up to save the day for the first time in this episode. Then all of a sudden Michael is at the trailer. He’s having a nice moment with Alex. They almost kiss but no! He’s got to go run off to save Max and Isobel. Then it’s all oh cool he’s dead. Thanks Thor. And then Max goes nuts and starts ranting and heals his hand and then all of a sudden he’s walking with Isobel and making love confessions but love is pain. And then he’s off to make out with Maria but first he’s gotta play the guitar cause...of course. Gotta show off that newly healed hand. And well..at least Maria saw that. I just....what?!?! 

- And Alex just gets to sit sadly in the trailer and sit sadly outside the trailer checking his watch while Michael’s off making out with Maria and playing guitar. That’s really where he ends this story? Really??? This was the first real time I’ve had a problem with this ‘love triangle’ in part because #whiplash. I mean seriously. 

- And then you’ve got Liz who’s chilling with Maria and then battling Noah and then getting stabbed and then getting stitched up and then getting it confirmed that Rosa is her half sister and then she’s having sex. Really weird sex by the way with the whole glowy hand echos of feelings stuff. What??? And then she’s talking to a rock but hey Max is doing something and look it’s Rosa! Hugs! Wait...what about Max?!?! 

- Speaking of Max. Apparently he’s a little dead right now? That can’t stick if they get a season two. Surely. But before he ‘died’ he pulled lighting down from the sky and channeled Thor and killed an alien and had weird handprint echo sex and then brought a dead girl back to life. So...sure??????!!!!!!

- And Noah...god...Noah. Like what even was the point??? I’m SO CONFUSED!!!??? It was too fast. All the revelations came at a speed I can’t even process. Max is the savior? What does that even mean??? And the ‘Alighting’??? Um...Okay??? Sure?? what??? Like god, it wouldn’t have hurt the show to give some concrete answers. I just...I have so many problems. 

- And Isobel is just home using new powers to shatter photos cause sure they can do that now. Fine. Sure. Why not?!?! 

- And Maria’s just out there outing Michael to Liz. Not that everyone and their alien mother doesn’t already know but still. But I digress because the real thing I want to yell about is that MARIA STILL DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THE FUCKING ALIENS?!?!?!?!??!!!!!!! 13 EPISODES AND NO ONE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO TELL HER??? HER MOM’S TALKING ABOUT ALIENS AND LIZ AND ALEX KNOW SOME OF IT’S LEGIT. RANCHERO NIGHT IS A PIECE OF THE NOAH PUZZLE. SHE GOT TAKEN OVER BY NOAH AT THE UFO EMPORIUM GALA. SHE’S GOT A NECKLACE WITH THE FLOWER THAT THE MAGIC POWER DAMPENING POLLEN IS FROM!!!! AND NO ONE THOUGHT, HEY, LET’S LOOP IN MARIA, OUR FRIEND, OUR THIRD PRONG ON THE LOVE TRIANGLE, THE ONE WITH ALL OF THE WEIRD CONNECTIONS TO ALIENS. TOTALLY NOT RELEVANT TO HER!!!!!????? I HATE EVERYTHING. And also, og Maria found out in the pilot by the way, in part because she was inquisitive and she knew Liz was hiding something, but in this version, Maria just doesn’t care? Doesn’t notice her friends changing the subject around her? Doesn’t question why people are asking her about Ranchero night and murders? Doesn’t question enough why Liz is looking into Rosa’s death? Why can’t she be curious and find out on her own if no one’s gonna tell her? Or why can’t she be like ‘hey best friends who are clearly keeping things from me...what’s up?’. Sigh...I’m so mad. 

- But really. This episode was all over the place. Finale’s are supposed to be jam packed but I feel like they’re supposed to be a proper climax, bring people together. Why can’t everyone fight together against a common enemy?? Why is everyone still all doing their own thing? Why does no one talk to each other? Why is Liz just finding out about Rosa being Kyle’s sister? Why is Michael just now telling Isobel about Alex’s family and that whole side of the damn plot? Why don’t they all know this already? WHY?!?!? 

- Ugh and Manes just pops up again with very little explanation. Yells at Flint who at least sort of was like ‘what did you expect me to do Dad, kill Alex?’. So. Cool I guess. But Manes just shows back up and stalks Kyle for no reason and heads down to the bunker and gets put into a coma? Like, what kind of anticlimactic bullshit is that? 

- Og Roswell crew in the season one finale, comes together to fight off Pierce. Kyle finally finds out about everything with the aliens and gets saved by Max. Michael kills Pierce. And then they have sad closure moments with their respective love interests. Michael leaves Maria cause he’s a killer now and Liz leaves Max because of destiny. And they all find out answers together about their alien lives and planet. It’s concise. It makes sense. It feels like an ending that gives closure but opens up the possibilities for a new season. 

- I don’t even know what the hell this was??? Again...this show is infuriating. Because I do like the characters. I love these new, older versions of them. They’ve made these characters their own. I don’t even think about the og characters for the most part. And I like the relationships they have with each other. I just wish they were more connected. But the plot part of this show is...just all over the place and moves too slow at first and then too fast and it just never makes a whole lot of sense. 

- Infuriating is a very good word for it. 

- Props to them for using that version of the of theme song though at the end. That was cool. 

- I have no idea where this show would even go in a season two if they get one. But if they do get one, I hope they sort themselves the fuck out and figure out how to tell a story properly so I don’t have to yell like this again.