#I'ma need a break after this one. maybe come back with a few micro posts. but definitely nothing this extensive again for awhile hahaha

[vessel-full-of-stories]

By now, I've specified several things regarding characters' major love languages. I know this is late but quick disclaimer: I am not an expert in this by any means. To me, some scenes fall under two or more languages depending on how you view them. But when I see a certain character favoring one language over another, I'm gonna assume they're working with what they're familiar with. Or, at least, what I perceive them as familiar with.

And, side note: Just because I don't assign a certain love language to a character, that doesn't mean they don't occasionally use it to communicate affection towards others. It just means its not one of the more common ways they do it. That they tend to favor another form of love to communicate that.

This post is going to focus on Buck and Eddie, and the love languages they use towards each other.

(This gets long so I'ma put a break in to spare the people who just want to scroll past this.)

Quick review of what I've already covered.

Buck has a complicated relationship with physicality. He tends to not touch others without their consent unless it's in life saving situations. Basically, if there's not a physical reason for him to grab them, he won't. Unless they ask.

This doesn't mean he dislikes being close to people. He loves affection. The lack of closeness he got growing up probably influenced the way he leans in to the people he loves, now, at least while talking to them. All those shoulder bumps? That's Buck leaning in when he talks to Eddie as they walk. And it's not exactly grabbing him, so this might be the fine line Buck draws on letting himself be physically close others.

Eddie, on the other hand, uses physicality freely. He initiates all three of their hugs and Buck clearly enjoys them. He gives a little tap to say 'don't be a creep,' when they catch him staring at Marjan in the Lone Star crossover.

In 4x01, Buck clearly attaches his own harness before going down. No issues. But, when the bus explodes, you can hear Eddie scream Buck's name after he doesn't respond to his initial question. Then, with no explanation, the very next episode (4x02) Eddie clips Buck's harness for him. I'm gonna assume it's because the last call with a harness scared him and he's taking comfort in physically clipping Buck in himself. And Buck lets him.

Another example of him taking comfort from Buck is in 5x01 when they're called to help a man having a heart attack. Yes, one could assume touching his shoulder is just Eddie alerting Buck to his movement so he doesn't bump into him by accident. However, I feel like the writers are so deliberate with character dialogues and choices that they wouldn't purposefully drag focus away from Eddie's inner dialogue for nothing. And he's definitely having an inner dialogue here.

There's a number of things the unconscious man could have triggered in Eddie's mind, but the point is, we know he's been triggered. And he's working through it. When he notices another man experiencing a panic attack, there's a distinct way he touches Buck, a constant contact as he moves around him. It's different from the quick taps the team sometimes give each other to say 'Ok, let's go,' 'Look,' or 'This way.' I think Eddie's hand lingers because the touch comforts him. And we also know he's not just trying to alert Buck to follow him because, if he was, Buck would have followed. He doesn't, Hen does. This touch was just for him.

So, we know Buck enjoys physical affection, and touch can be used for both affection and comfort to Eddie. But what about comforting Buck? Physical comfort doesn't really work on him. So how does Eddie comfort Buck back? He actually figures it out over time.

Let's begin at that iconic first meeting.

Analyzing their first episode through the lens of their love languages, it truly makes sense where things went wrong with their first impressions and how they eventually steered it right.

Buck finds purpose and joy in being a firefighter. He's able to serve both the people of his community and the 118 - his family - through it. He spent most of season 1 securing his space and working with his beloved team, so it's a surprise when Bobby suddenly adds an additional member to their unit.

Right off the back, Buck isn't just listening to his team compare their physical appearances (due to the firefighter calendar competition), but Bobby goes on to talk about Eddie's qualifications and how he fought for him to join the 118. A right Buck almost lost permanently in the pilot of the show because of his own immaturity. To Buck, his entire team is gravitating towards Eddie because he's not like him. He's better. Considering Buck's abandonment issues and lack of therapy at this point, it's obvious why he gets mad. Just look at how straight he's sitting in his seat. He's pressing himself as far away from Eddie as he can.

What doesn't help is that this idea is actually enforced (in Buck's mind) throughout their shift. Buck moves in to save a patient, following Bobby's orders and the protocol he was taught, but Eddie cuts in with his own field experience, telling them there's a more effective way to do it. Bobby agrees and lets Eddie take over, Buck having to literally, physically hand his job over to him.

And it's not just his job being taken, but the love of his family. Buck had to build his relationship with the team over time. He was the naive punk who they warmed up to slowly. But Eddie? He charms them almost immediately. Not only does Eddie correct Buck on proper lighting to get a good photo (one-upping Buck in his love of fact giving), but Chimney seeks Eddie's skills to get a photo shoot done for himself. Right in front of him. Now, Buck's been stewing in his anger all day so of course he says something rude. Not that Chim doesn't forgive him, but Buck is definitely falling into a pit of self sabotage here.

Eddie, on the other hand, is doing everything he can to just fit into the 118. To prove his capability and be a part of a team again. Something he hasn't had since he was in the army, especially after Shannon left and he was more isolated than ever. He doesn't get angry and attack Buck for constantly making things difficult. He's friendly and patient. But he's also petty *affectionate*. So, after his reassurance that he's not a threat, that he and Buck are on the same side, doing the same job, he does throw in that comment of "I've just done it with people shooting at me is all." (I love him.)

And it's completely valid because, to Eddie, Buck seems to be all ego. That Buck is trying to place himself above Eddie because he thinks he's better, not because he's afraid of losing the life he's built. Unsurprisingly, it was more of the same after that. So much so that on the next call, Eddie drops the niceties and asks "What are we measuring here, Buck?" Because he doesn't get it. He doesn't know Buck. And Buck doesn't know Eddie.

Everything changes once Eddie realizes the grenade in the man's leg isn't a practice round, it's live.

Eddie starts to understand Buck's ego isn't what he thought it was by the way he responds to the news. Unlike that first call where they argued over methods of approach, Buck knows he's not the expert here. He has no idea what he's dealing with and listens to everything Eddie says, even asking questions for clarification.

Buck realizes Eddie isn't what he thought he was when he offers to remove the grenade himself, regardless of the risk. Because there is absolutely a risk. This wasn't a job for firefighters or even the bomb squad. They couldn't defuse a grenade. They would have to wait for the military to show up which would take longer than that man had to live. So, Eddie volunteers to do it.

And Buck, who is committed to acts of service, relates to this. He sees that, oh, we are here to do the same thing. Help people. There's not an ounce of malice in the way he says, "I'm in." He's 100% dedicated to helping the man. By the time they're ready to start, they're finally seeing each other for who the other is.

Buck can marvel at Eddie's capabilities and when Buck fumbles with the grenade for a moment, Eddie can recognize his bashfulness at his mistake. They're so impressed with each other, and Eddie is the first to admit it.

And that's where Eddie's other love language, words of affirmation, actually comes into play.

From my understanding, words of affirmation are showing affection or comfort to others by saying personal things that they know will have impact. Verbalizing specific details known about them and communicating in a way that shows they're actively listening.

And, because eye contact is absolutely a form a non-verbal communication, I'm going to include it in this category.

Honestly, the whole show does a great job of pushing meaningful communication and therapy. Every single main character has had their moments to give and receive words of wisdom, comfort, love, frustration, and everything in between. It's embedded into the foundation of the story itself.

So, if everyone uses words to impact others on multiple occasions throughout the seasons, how do I know it's one of their specific love languages? Well, I'd have to sit down and analyze every character in order to know for sure. (Even then, I am a novice.)

In my analysis, words of affirmation are not only a key component for Buck to understand someone's love, but (coincidentally) another major love language for Eddie. And, like physical affection, Eddie truly got to utilize it after getting away from his shitty parents.

I could get into specifics but I'm gonna keep this brief because there's so much else to say. When rehashing many of Eddie's failed acts of service for his family when he was young, he goes on to point out how Ramon verbally tore into him after every incident. When he receives his purple heart, it's not just Eddie's trauma that hollows Ramon's praise. And don't get me started on his f***ing mother. The way she uses the word "hero" against him and tries breaking down any shred of self confidence he has just to keep his child? I can't. Ramon isn't the only one Eddie needed to tell off at the retirement party. Still, I'm grateful for what we got because Eddie got to tell Ramon to his face, "I spent my whole life trying not to be like you." And he wasn't just talking about not looking weak.

Eddie is constantly, verbally telling Chris how much he loves him and he does it while holding him (physical affection) or facing him head on. It's an added emphasis to make sure his love is being conveyed, no matter how he is saying it. And he says it a million different ways.

He assures Chris he's always just a phone call away, that he's safe, that they still have each other. That he misses him and will be home soon. He validates his feelings in tough situations. He tells him how handsome he is when he isn't feeling confident in a suit. He calls him nicknames like kid, buddy, little man, my little Superman, and even Gordon Ramsey when he's making a salad. He doesn't like it when he talks down on himself and corrects him when he wrongly takes blame, like when he heard Eddie and his parents yelling. And he especially struggles when it comes to communicating Chris' limitations with CP. But he finds a way, because, again, he knows first-hand how powerful words can be.

So, Eddie's blend of physicality and words can be shown easily through Christopher. Now, let's look at Buck.

Obviously, there's no examples of Eddie holding Buck as he tells him something important. (Yet. Please?) The closest thing we get are their hugs and those are fairly brief.

He does test physical comfort in the beginning with a simple pat on the back, no words and no eye contact. It could have been Buck's immediate quote of "That's love," that gave Eddie the hint touch doesn't work, words do. Because he doesn't really attempt physical comfort after that.

Not that words always work, of course. Because Buck needs a special kind of assurance to calm him down. He needs words based in facts, or at least strong ideas that can compete with the ones dominating his mind.

The difference between that first confrontation in the gym and their talk after the grenade incident? Eddie's words. His first attempt generalizes everything as 'I am not a threat. We are on the same team.' But Buck absolutely sees him as a threat because he's a potential replacement for him on that team. He tries bringing up Abby to explain off some of his tension, which, yeah, wrong move. Then his jab about being under gunfire only sticks with him as he immediately goes into comparing war zones the second they're alone.

After they save the day, Eddie looks him dead in the eye and compliments his ability to stay calm under pressure. Something personal, a fact just witnessed in the ambulance. He goes on to request his service on future calls, saying "You can have my back any day." Which. Double love language right there. Even the eye contact is different and you could tell how genuine he was being with his words. So, teasing Eddie with, "Or you can have mine," and actually making him laugh? It's no wonder they work in perfect sync by the next call. It's like their feud never happened.

Later, Maddie's been kidnapped and Eddie tries comforting him after he's been chewed out by Athena. He assures him he understands his actions because he has sisters, too. That Doug would have found her regardless if Buck had convinced her to stay in LA or not. Excellent points, but the fact that Maddie is still with Doug at that moment eclipses all of that. No comfort.

After his embolism, nothing Eddie says matters because Buck still lost his purpose. There's little eye contact with Buck hiding under the blankets, distancing himself away from Eddie and his words, and just avoiding them completely when Eddie hits him with, "[Chris] never feels sorry for himself." But at least that last comment get's him thinking.

After the tsunami, Buck is convinced his failure overshadows everything. And I love the way Eddie focuses Buck's gaze to him or Christopher, the boy he saved. As if to say, 'Look, we're both still here.' When Buck turns away, he moves to catch his eyes as soon as they turn back. Because he wants Buck to see how much he means what he's going to say. Instead of telling Buck he didn't fail (which he never would have believed) Eddie admits to his own failures and pushes two major truths onto him. One, that Buck loves Chris enough to never stop trying. And two, (He grabs his shoulder to really keep his attention here.) "There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you." Oh, and before he goes, "Thank you for not giving up." Drawing value and appreciation to even his unsuccessful acts. And, wow, that works.

Eddie implements direct eye contact into moments of comfort after this, but he still goes on a bit of a losing streak starting with Red.

Buck is scared his team will drift apart like Red's did. While everyone else keeps repeating that there isn't anything to worry about, Eddie tries bringing up some evidence to prove it. Which backfires when Hen and Chim reveal they don't actually keep in contact with their old teammates. Eddie's left to simply say, "That won't happen to us." Which brings Buck little comfort.

There was the Abby incident where he was at such a loss for words he almost resorted back to physical comfort, ending on a simple "You ok?" Because, seriously, there's so much baggage there and they have more jobs to do. What else was he supposed to say?

The Buckley parents arrive and dropkick Buck into emotional hell. As much as Eddie tries to convince him he has every right to be mad, to have said what he said, that him being unable to save Daniel with his "defective parts" wasn't on him, Buck doesn't believe it because his parents' wouldn't. Then, Eddie finally shifts away from his parents and focuses solely on Buck. In one beautiful moment of "I had to do it."/"I know you did," he's finally back with a win. And he keeps winning.

The emotional agony he knows Buck endured saving his life and waiting for him to wake up? Assure him he's ok with a casual greeting. Just look at that smile. Buck thinks he's expendable and can easily be removed from their lives? Sike. He's been in his will for over a year. And just to prove how much he loves knows him, he knew Buck would never turn it down. For an added touch, he calls him by his first name to emphasize his value goes beyond the Buck they got to know, but the Evan that felt worthless before him.

My god, does Eddie love him. Understand him like no other character on the show. He's able to pinpoint exactly what Buck needs to hear and says it without hesitation.

Buck is the guy who likes to fix things. He's not allowed to just walk away from their family, he's stuck with them. Someone's invalidating his feelings again? He's gonna defend him, but also say it in the form of a joke to make him smile. He's twisting his previous comment into something self-depreciating? Absolutely not. Because being the guy who likes to fix everything comes in handy when he needs help fixing his wall. Thank you for your service.

Of course, Buck loves Eddie just as much. He just shows it differently.

His major love language, acts of service, is found in abundance throughout the show, so let's focus on what he's done for Eddie.

After assuring Eddie multiple times that Christopher is safe after the earthquake and alerting him the second phone services are back, he drives Eddie straight to him so they can be reunited.

For whatever reason, Buck continues this trend and goes with Eddie when his abuela broke her hip. Considering he drove him to Chris' school, drove them around in the episode "Treasure Hunt", and drove him while Eddie stayed on the phone with Charlie in "Suspicion," I'm going to assume Buck is just the one who drives. Plain and simple.

When Eddie has nowhere else to take Chris, Buck gives Bobby a heads up to the situation so that it's all cleared by the time he joins them in the loft. After discussing Eddie's situation with Pepa and Maddie, he introduces Eddie to Carla who helps guide him through the system to get Christopher what he needs.

A small moment I personally appreciate happens on the call where Shannon is struck by a car. Buck and Eddie are so focused on helping the driver, they don't even consider any pedestrians until the driver brings up the woman she hit. And Buck sees her before Eddie does. The shock and pain on his face is because he knows how much this will blindside Eddie. And they can read each other like a book, so Eddie catches on immediately. By then, it's too late. He sees her. Buck doesn't grab him, but he does try to stop him. He gets in front of him and asks him to wait, to take a second to process. But Eddie can't wait, so Buck lets him go.

There's the Christmas party he plans with Athena so Chris and Eddie could be together. (Everyone else, too, but the Diaz boys' sad eyes were definitely key motivators.) They build a skateboard together after he comforts Eddie by not only appealing to his love of baseball but the success of a baseball player with a disability. And, of course, there's the night he's more than ready to dig Eddie out of 30ft of wet earth by hand.

Buck's willing to split a massive fortune with him because he was a little sad they couldn't team up. The entire sniper arc, he's dedicated to helping Eddie, Chris, and his team at any cost, especially at his own life.

He's shown to be willing to physically defend Eddie, to care for Chris while Eddie takes care of himself mentally, to help put the broken pieces of the his life and his wall back together.

And Buck does comfort Eddie verbally, too. I actually pointed out a few above.

Buck comforts himself, his family, and strangers on calls using facts. It's not as prominent or effective as his acts of service. Even his direct eye contact is more used to gauge whether the act is effective or not. Instead, his words are more often a foreshadow or accompaniment to the act itself. But it's still a notable feature of his.

One example got a lot of people confused when it aired. In 5x08, Eddie is distressed at the thought that a little boy and his baby sister were lost to a hospital fire. He asks, "What are we supposed to do with that?" to which Buck say, "We put it away and we save the next one." Some people found this insensitive, harsh, or even uncharacteristic. But, truthfully, it's not. Because what facts are there to comfort him in this case? That they've saved plenty of other lives today? That a fire this big was statistically bound to have casualties? That it's somehow ok that this happened and he shouldn't be sad? There is nothing based in fact that can make this situation better, so Buck steers his mind towards the next one. That is all he can do at this point.

When he truly doesn't have the right words to say, he actually stays silent. This is alluded to in Eddie's confession after his breakdown and his admission that he's unsure if anything they do is even worth it. Both scenes cut before Buck responds, because whatever comes next doesn't progress the story. He hasn't found the right fact yet. And if he doesn't have one, he finds one. He finds Charlie and shows Eddie exactly how much can be done with a second chance.

Another cute example of Buck comforting Eddie is when Eddie's packing for Texas. The domesticity of Buck playing with a dinosaur as they chat. Ugh. Anyways, Eddie's stressing about time and Buck tries to comfort him with, "Your parents will understand." They both realize the error in that statement and he corrects with a, "They should understand." And when Eddie tries to argue his family isn't screwed up? Buck's smile, omfg. It speaks for itself. He also makes sure to brace Eddie for when his dad inevitably get's under his skin, and Eddie tells him he already has a hotel in mind for them to stay if it really comes to that.

Like I said, Buck's words and actions are linked. No other moments demonstrate this quite like when Buck is being ignored. Because how can he gather information to help someone if they won't tell him what's wrong?

The bruises, the tiredness, the anger. The cardiologist, the deflecting, the panic. Asking for honesty and being told to move on. Buck knows when something is wrong. He knows Eddie. And it's not until his breakdown that he gives Buck exactly what he's been asking for.

I actually kinda love the unfiltered honesty we get from Eddie after this. He tells Buck his worst fears, how crappy he feels, how he's worried it might not get better. How he doesn't know whether to believe in their work anymore.

It's an honesty he mainly shares with Buck, considering how he bit his tongue for most of his father's retirement party and then couldn't admit to FOMO with May. He's completely vulnerable for vulnerabilities sake. He's not asking for Buck's help, Buck just does that anyways.

To end on a happy note, I want to bring up the funnest part of their dynamic. Where the two of them meet on equal ground within words of affirmation: teasing.

I explained that words of affirmation includes picking out personal details to sort of showcase how well they know each other. And Eddie and Buck do it flawlessly all while teasing each other, others, and themselves to no end.

It could be pointing out that Buck doesn't know math, that Eddie can't (couldn't) cook, that they were both going through a phase, or just making faces as the other one's ridiculousness. That Eddie loves telenovelas, that it's actually an exoskeleton, Buck, or their dating life is full of weak excuses and invisible girlfriends.

What really pushes that this is Eddie's love language is the way he finds a way to tease Buck as he's comforting him. Especially when he finds the situation absurd.

The whole lawsuit arc? Fake glares him down with a pointed finger and says "Just don't do it again." (Humor that actually switches the hug from comforting to affectionate.)

Maddie's worried about him after a disastrous dinner with his parents? "Can't imagine why," as he proceeds to walk away from Buck nearly kicking over a punching bag.

That near-fatal rescue in Buck Begins? "Showoff."

Chim might never forgive him? Not a chance. "I'm kidding!... Maybe."

Buck removing himself from the team after he finds Ravi is ready to replace him. "Who replaces me?"

And, yes, he knows how to call himself out, too. Especially because Buck is probably the only one who would get the joke. Bobby calling Buck out on his rocky relationship and not knowing what to do when things go wrong? "Yeah, who does that?" (That little look they share after he says it? I love them.)

He incorporates humor into these stressful situations and majority of the time, it does make Buck smile. The fact that his smile is such a goal for Eddie in these moments says so much.

They love each other effortlessly yet purposefully and teasing is such a joyous highlight to show it. I can't wait to see how their relationship evolves from here.