#I've Been Laying Down In The Devil's Lair Sailing Into The Sun I'll Be Baptized There (Stuart McCormick)

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

“No, you can’t be here.” - Exes With Feelings Starters

[ @southxparkxafterxdark​ || Ky ]

[ Stuart + Eric ]

Leaning against the doorframe instead of his cane, wrist and elbow pressed into it as he scootched a bit more into Ky’s space. The heavy lidding over his pale blue eyes and the heavy scent of alcohol on his breath made it obvious as to what he’d been up to for most of the night. A smirk growing into a smarmy smile bared his stained teeth, and he reached forward with the cane in his free hand.

Tilting Ky’s chin up a little with it, Stuart couldn’t help tutting at him, shaking his head. He wasn’t much taller than Ky, but it was four inches he was proud of nonetheless.

“Don’t go pulling that shit, now. You can’t just go shutting me down like that, you know I don’t like being teased.” Tapping Ky’s shoulder with the handle of the cane, he jerked his head, “Where to, then?”

“Hey, babe? I--” Eric waddled out of the kitchen, perhaps making a bigger deal out of it than he should have, looking up from the taco kit in his hand and pausing, “...What the fuck is Kenny’s deadbeat-ass dad doing here?”

“Shut it, Tubby, you really should tell your mom to stop fucking feeding you.” Stuart barked back, eyes narrowing. He didn’t really like to be reminded of who he was, maybe still was, if only because he would never escape it in this town. Dropping the cane back to the ground, he swapped which hand it was in before leaning on it again instead of the doorway. As he moved, he was met with a loud chorus of ‘ay! I’m not fucking fat!’ 

Stuart begged to differ, and leveled Eric with a look that told him as much.

“...Ky?” Eric’s tone was skeptical, now, like he wasn’t (and would never be) ready to hear it, and his fingers gripped the box until it bent with an audible sigh. Frozen on the spot, he wasn’t entirely sure if he was angry or heartbroken, and it didn’t help that someone was back to fisticuffs with their sibling. 

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

“Wait– When was that?” ( & Stuart for Sharon.! - may send more later, but here :3 )

When? Sentence Starters

|| Sharon ||

[ Stuart ]

“You really didn’t hear?” 

Stuart snickered a little bit, his grin lopsided as he shook his head. Wow, he really didn’t reach her mind, did he? Probably because he’d been friends with her ex-husband. Honestly, he was confused as to why she was talking to him, but he wasn’t entirely opposed.

“I got out of prison a couple months back. Good behavior. But while I was in there...” He gently tapped the cane on the ground, “First month I got a broken hip. Thought everyone was talkin’ 'bout it.”

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

[ @nxwkid LIKED For A Starter ]

[ Stuart + Karen ]

“No, I got it--” Karen just about face planted into the glass door to the mall she turned to it so fast. Wrenching it open, she gestured for her extra pitiful (today) father to hobble on through like he might get announced on the red carpet. Much as he wouldn’t want that kind of attention, he gave a slight smile and a nod in acknowledgement as he crossed the threshold. 

Every click of his cane past her had Karen’s chest tight, and there were a few people who decided she had clearly been holding it open for them, not her disabled father. Regardless, she stood there, watching him limp off towards a store, up on her tiptoes to scan the crowd for either of her brothers. 

Maybe she was just naturally jumpy with him being out of prison, but she was also very aware that Kenny and Kevin, and Hell, even their mother probably would have shot him on sight.

Stuart had absolutely neglected to tell her about running into Kenny at the grocery store, and he had avoided places he remembered Kevin hanging around a lot.

Granted, he didn’t know a lot about his kids, minus Karen, these days. Hell, Carol even had a restraining order against him, and he’d found out about that when he had to do his physical therapy and other such appointments in the basement of the hospital. Evidently she’d been warned that he would be getting out, unlike their two boys, and decided to preempt any visits she thought she’d get.

Part of him was flattered that she thought he’d defy all logic and sense to go see her as she lay dying when he could just as easily stay with Karen and get a better experience. The rest of him couldn’t help wanting to break the order even if it was a criminal offense. He wasn’t about to jeopardize his access to free air (or his daughter), however, so he just handled his pain management and physical therapy in the basement and went on his merry way.

Even if she had to wheel him out in a wheelchair sometimes. He couldn’t help it, being Mr. Pitiful was half of his personality.

Maybe that had Karen on edge, too. Almost slamming the door on someone, she just barely managed to catch it, blinking at him. 

“Oh shit, sorry, Alex!” Immediately, she pulled the door open again, stopping it with her foot, “Everything okay in there?”

“Karebear, come on--” Stuart had not shuffled all the way back here to see her talking to some--

Who or what was that?

“Karen,” He started a second time, and she shot him a nervous look. Best not to push her too much, and he sighed, rolling his eyes when Alex had her attention again. Great.

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

I'm not a Karen everyone else is just a bunch of dicks (ivegottegridity) (Stuart)

[ @ivegottegridity ]

[ Stuart ]

“I know,” The drunk sounded dismissive, but he shook his head regardless, pinching the bridge of his nose, “You gotcher car, right? I don’ think I can walk ‘ome an’ I don’ really wan’ Kenny t’see m’like this. Might go back t’Karen’s unless y’wan’ me.”

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

LIKE/REBLOG For A Starter From Stuart McCormick! Fresh Out Of Prison!

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

[ @throughxthexmist || Continued From Here || Stan ]

[ Stuart ]

“What, you think I don’t remember you?” 

Stuart frowned, slowly settling into the seat next to Stan. Setting his cane on the table, he set his beer down with his free hand. At least he hadn’t spilled it.

“You look like shit, Stan. I’m not going to bullshit you. But, uh... If you’re anything like your dad, and I know you’ve got a weak-ass stomach, too... You’re already going to vomit.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, he glanced away, finding the foam in his beer rather intriguing.

“That shit dehydrates you worse than the booze. Hangover city.”

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

Stuart, the fuck you're out of prison why didn't you call me? (ivegottegridity )

[ @igotegridity ]

[ Stuart ]

"You know how it is, man, women, right? My place t’stay’s a good one and I’m not real ready to compromise it. She’s jus’ real needy right now, missed me, I guess.”

It almost sounded like he was talking about his ex-wife, and not his damn daughter.

“But man, it’s good t’see ya. We should grab a beer.”

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

[ @squealformepiggy REBLOGGED For A Starter ]

[ Stuart ]

“Hey, you little shit, you better get off my fucking car.” 

Stuart snapped, eyes narrowing at the lanky man before him. He hobbled forward with the help of his simple black cane, making his way closer. Okay, technically, technically, it was Karen’s car. But! He got to drive it if she didn’t need it and he did! So... His car. Just like she was his.

“I keep seeing you hanging around here, you better not be creeping around.”

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

Hey, um.. dad.. .. it's been a while (noonefuckingremembers ) (stuart) (FAMILY DRAMAAA)

[ Stuart ]

Oh? What, I finally got back on your radar, Kenny? Is that because we’re in the same town again, or are you just looking for another excuse to put me away? I’m a changed man. 

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

[ @southxparkxafterxdark || Continued From Here || Michael ] 

[ Stuart ]

Maybe Stuart should have been more specific.

He couldn’t stomach anymore of this horrendous treatment.

Offal, he vaguely recalled hearing Gerald call raw organs that, once. Stuart had balked, at first, before making it a priority to consume as much as possible while maintaining eye contact with his ex-best friend. Now, if only he could find that youthful vigor in order to finish all of this shit.

He vaguely recognized this guy, someone at the SPPD, but... Beyond that, he didn’t even know what he did. Michael was Just Some Guy to him, though he thought he may have seen pictures of him at Karen’s house. She kept most of her personal things in her room, so it was hard to tell.

“I’ve been eating less lately.” And that wasn’t entirely untrue. Karen didn’t tend to make much, if only because she wasn’t used to eating a lot and feeding more than one person. Ever since he’d moved in with his daughter, he’d been eating the portions she made him and hadn’t been complaining.

It was probably the kindest he’d ever been to her, but he couldn’t go fucking up his chance too soon. After all, Karen would let him get away with a lot more if he kept up his Fragile, Kind Old Man Who Changed persona in front of her.