#I've been having a lot of stressful stuff pile up recently but that's all personal so i won't get into it right now

[somelazyassartist]

.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "not making time" for my ex

So I (21F) met my ex (24M) at an internship I held last summer. We started seeing each other and things quickly developed into a full relationship. We spent a lot of time together as we worked 10hr days together 4 days a week and he always wanted to meet up on weekends. For a while every date was an overnight and our physical relationship began very quickly.

Fast forward a couple months and I moved back to college as I am finishing up my BA atm. He knew this going into the relationship and I made it explicitly clear that if he wanted things to continue, it was going to be long distance (its about 2-2 1/2 hours away). Shortly before this time he became extra clingy and angsty about me moving saying things like I never made time for him (our dates even prior to were never less than 10 hours) and when we weren't able to see each other for a couple days he would want to call and would want to talk for hours because he missed me even if I was busy or expressed that I didn't want to be on the phone as it is a very mentally draining task for me.

After 1-2 months of long distance, these problems got worse. Every time I saw him he would complain about not having enough time to do stuff with me and would often stay most of the weekend even if I would politely ask to have some time to do homework or just be by myself. He would say that he could help with my chores, homework or mental health time and didn't seem to understand my desire to do things independently. He kept saying that I wasn't letting him into my life enough and said that he hated the distance between us and wished he didn't have to drive so far. There were other issues that also kept piling on and eventually after much back and forth we broke up him citing that "he wasn't good for me" and things weren't working out.

During the month after our breakup I felt many things both guilty and sad but also a bit relieved as the fighting in our relationship had caused a lot of built up stress and anxiety that had pushed me to a very low place. In this time we had called a few times to discuss things and some calls went okay but others took turns and would leave me feeling hurt and confused. We had a meetup to talk in person about getting back together and I said for the time being I think we're better off as friends. He is someone I care a lot about and I do think that he has some dark shit to deal with and probably needs to seek counseling. I feel as if I have been very forgiving and kind but also acknowledge that I likely have some fault in the demise of our relationship as there are things I need to work on such as boundary setting and people pleasing.

Since this conversation many things have happened that complicate matters and I honestly feel a bit lost. There are times it feels like we could have a new beginning and others where all the old issues come screaming back into my face. I've said I don't want to be in a relationship with him right now and need time to work through things and he wants to keep up the physical part of our relationship as he sees that as something that didn't need fixing.

Recently we met up and I had set plans with my friends before and after we saw each other. He showed up mad that I had set plans with other people on the day that we had time together since it made things feel rushed and he wanted to actually be able to spend time with me. This ended up blowing up into an argument and he told me to "grow the hell up" and also said that I "needed to learn how to be in a real relationship". These things were incredibly triggering to me as I am both younger than him and this is also the first relationship and everything that I have ever been in. He told me that he didn't appreciate the fact that I never wanted to make time for him and said that this was true during our relationship as well. He said that if I couldn't do it he had other friends that cared about him enough and that he shouldn't have even come to see me since it was clear that I didn't give a shit.

Now I feel so lost since I have even after our relationship never flaked on him and have been overly honest about my insecurities and everything even outside of the relationship. He is someone I still really care about but every time something like this happens I feel that he is not good for me even if he does really care about me in all the ways he says. It hurts so bad even because amongst all these things we still have really nice times together where we can just be around each other and enjoy each others company. I know that I cannot separate these experiences as they happen with the same man and all my friends tell me this is manipulative behavior but I also worry that I'm overreacting.

So AITA? (sorry for the long post)

What are these acronyms?

[stelyost]

ehem... Hello !! How you doing? Can I ask you? How does a great artist like Steel deal a creative block? An environment that requires constant creation and use of imagination despite fatigue, stress, and health or personal problems can exhaust some people in general, making their work more difficult and less pleassant.

Hi Anon, Thanks for reaching out!

Sorry I also didn't see this question until now, this was asked last month and I have not been looking at Tumblr very carefully.

I've actually had a lot of ups and downs with creative production over the past few recent years. Two of the factors that affected it the most was actually health and energy, among other things.

The best advice I can give in that situation is to deliberately, very pointedly take time, and make space, to look out for yourself first. Take care of yourself. Schedule a do nothing day for yourself.

If your mind and body can't heal/repair, nor passively soak in inspiration and ideas from things you enjoy in life, it will always be an uphill struggle to create.

If you're already burned out, running on fumes, forcing yourself to create anything will feel like a chore, or more pressure added to your existing pile of pressure, and thus may result in a block. You don't want your area of creation to be another force of pressure/misery - it's ideally a space where you can feel flow and natural joy, or more of an escape from other stressors in your life.

It might sound like very stereotypical "I know, duh, whatever" advice, but your ability to create and be productive in that area, diminishes every time you overexert yourself, or try to push yourself past your personal limits. (And that specific limit is different for everyone).

tl;dr; Rest.

I have other go-to tips for getting jumpstarted on creative stuff when you're stuck, but I think rest would be my top one if you're in an environment of pressure. Let me know if you want elaboration on other tips if this doesn't apply to you at all.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for growing a tree in the center of my city?

Title is a bit oversimplified but I have been advised it would be funny, so I'm keeping it. I recently got turned into a kaiju through divine intervention. During that first day, I had to defend my hometown, a big city with a bunch of people living in it, from a missile strike that I'm half convinced was launched by the government. On the fly, I figured out how to make plants grow from the ground large enough to block the missiles, and on that first day and for a few days after, everyone seemed pretty happy about it. One of the things I did during that defense was make a willow tree grow from the center of the city to cover three of the missiles at once, since they were coming in a way that would make it hard to block them all effectively without already knowing what I was doing. The mayor more or less gave me the city after as thanks, to boot (they did try to dodge around it at first but that's neither here or there). I want to take a moment to stress--this is all within the same 24 hours.

That was all about a month ago now, and people are starting to realize that having a giant tree suddenly sprout from the ground kind of messes with city infrastructure a bit. I've been getting a laundry list of complaints about it lately, and a lot of them are repeatedly brought up by different people. We've had to put heavy restrictions on personal cars that aren't electric, since the exhaust from gas cars browns the leaves and could make debris from dead tree limbs pile up fast. Personal solar power has been basically out of the question, since the tree covers basically the whole city. Buildings around where the trunk is took on structural damage, and a bunch more that were right around where it sprouted from got totally leveled--nobody got hurt too badly, and a lot of the buildings that did get wrecked were scheduled for demolition anyway, but it's being used as a point either way. We (myself and some friends that help me with official stuff) do our best to remedy things like this where we can--free public transport, wind turbines outside the city, things like that--but these complaints just keep coming in, and it's making me wonder if I did something wrong by going for the tree in a panic. Is it just perspective, or should I have done something differently?

[ladyanput]

Ok so this is the third time that I'm sending you an ask tonight. (or is it night time in your country?) I'm being annoying right now but whatever. So I've been cackling about those salt fics you wrote because they are just amazing. I have a request, though it is up to you to write it or not. So, can you write a salt fic where someone got an interview with Ladybug (probably Aurore) and then they ask her why they replaced the old heroes like Rena Rouge, Carapace and etc. and LB is just like I don't work with dumb shits or somethin'. Then there is also a new Black Cat (Probably Luka, Felix, or Damian) because Adrien here is an asshole and this fic is saltier than salt water. Then LB also insults Alya's blog and their school. Those foolish mortals get some lawsuits and the rest is up to you. (This request is probably messed up since it's already midnight here and I can't sleep.)

You're never annoying, I just apologize that it took me so long to get to you. I do hope you don't hold it against me, darling.

A one on one interview with Ladybug was basically unheard of if you weren't the Ladyblog or Nadja Chadwick. Ladybug had made it firm that she wasn't a celebrity, she was a hero. She wasn't there for clout, for attention, for fame or fortune. She just wanted to keep Paris safe.

That's was Aurore admired about her. And why she felt queasy as she sat across from the heroine, who had given her of all people an interview. But she got ahold of herself, taking deep breaths as the cameraman began counting down. And when he hit 'one', she put on her best smile and straightened in her seat.

"Hello Paris! Welcome back to 'Latest Buzz'! I am your lovable host, Aurore Beauréal. Today I am here with a very, very special guest, our very own heroine of Paris; Ladybug!"

Ladybug beamed right at the camera, but gave a shy little wave, giving away the nerves she obviously had.

"Now, Ladybug, I'm so glad you requested to be on the show. You know, I initially thought I had misheard when Estelle told me. Usually you're not big on personal interviews." Aurore gave her full attention to Ladybug, but keeping the bright, friendly smile and perfect posture.

"Well, I tried a few times actually. But when I did, none of them were really great experiences." Ladybug admitted and both girls immediately thought of that disastrous Face-to-Face interview. It left a bitter taste in their mouths. "My issue is that misinformation has been spread around a lot recently. It's made me realize that I need to find more trustworthy sources."

"Ladybug. I vow on my integrity as a host and Estelle's reputation as a journalist that we are people who research facts. We don't ambush our guests, we respect them." She said, placing a hand on her heart. Ladybug saw an honesty in her eyes that she hadn't seen in such a long time. It honestly made her feel.. Respected. "Now, Ladybug.. We both know you have a lot of fans. A lot of admirers. False information can be spread so easily these days, which sources specifically are you telling people to avoid?"

"Well.. With Face-to-Face, I found that I was entirely ambushed in that interview. I wanted to speak about my hero work, but instead Nadja kept trying to needle her way into my personal life. That picture she had shown in largely out of context; when Dark Cupid attacked and Chat Noir was under his spell, it was the only way to get him free."

"Yes, I remember watching that. I'll be honest Ladybug, I felt bad for you." Aurore bit her lip, but smiled a bit when Ladybug nodded. "I mean, Chat Noir wasn't helping either. He seemed to be trying to push this narrative forward that you two are a couple."

"And we're not!" Ladybug burst out before she could stop herself. Everyone in that studio could hear the utter stress and frustration in her voice. "I've begged and begged Chat Noir to stop with the flirting, the 'telling people we're dating', everything! I just wanted him to focus and he couldn't seem to do that!"

"Is that why you replaced him? Because of his slacking off and refusing to take anything seriously?" Aurora sat up an bit straighter, her eyes going wide.

".. Not exactly, no. It was a bunch of issues that eventually piled up and boiled over." Ladybug made some gestures with her hands, trying her hardest to find the words but just letting out a long and pained sigh in the end. "I do enjoy my new partner now. He is more serious, more stable. I know he won't go off and pout if I deny something he wanted. I needed an entirely new team, as a matter of fact."

"Well I am going to say, on behalf of everyone here, that we're glad. We swear on our integrity as journalists that if such rumours were to ever surface again, we will do our proper research." Aurore beamed and many of the staff and crew behind the cameras nodded and gave Ladybug their thumbs up. Honestly, it warmed Ladybug's heart to see such support.

When had been the last time someone had supported her like this? Sure, her parents supported her, but her friends..? Her peers? No, none of them had supported her in a long time.

"Speaking of research, I'd say to stay away from the Ladyblog." It burned to say it but it had to be said. Alya had crossed so many lines it wasn't even forgivable at this point. She had gone too far, had betrayed too many.

"Wait, what?" Aurore nearly jumped out of her seat but quickly composed herself, taking a deep breath. "Pardon me Ladybug, but the Ladyblog has been a vital source of information since the very beginning."

"And I'm not denying that!" Ladybug quickly held up her hands, her eyes desperate now. "But please let me explain. The Ladyblog was amazing in the beginning, but like all things, it started to go astray. It was things like trying so hard to find out my identity. Trying to push that narrative of that whole superhero couple thing.. Ladyblogger Alya Césaire has proven time and time again that she is not trustworthy. I mean, I thought she was my biggest fan. Why does she keep pushing my words aside?"

Many people who watched the interview would agree. If you idolized someone, respected someone, truly looked up to them.. Why would you push aside their words, their wishes to try and push the narrative you're so convinced is true, but isn't there?

"And don't get me started on the whole Lila Rossi craze she seemed to be on now." At Ladybug's mention of Lila Rossi, both Estelle and Aurore had to keep from rolling their eyes. They knew all about the girl.

"You speak as if you are quite frustrated, Ladybug. What an odd reaction to your best friend." Aurore leaned forward a bit in her seat. Everyone else got to the edge of theirs. Ladybug only shook her head, looking utterly defeated.

"That's the thing, she isn't my best friend." It took everything to keep from satin that she hated her, that she had taken away her friends and her life. "The only times she's met Ladybug is when she's been akumatized, which has been around six or seven times at this point. And the other things she's claiming are so outlandish! Saving Jagged Stone's kitten from a airport runway? Clara Nightengale stealing her dance moves? And the Ladyblog just posts it out there, claiming every single story is true. I'm just scared that people are taking this one hundred percent seriously. That's why I had to drop Rena Rouge and Carapace from the team as they believed Lila Rossi over me. They didn't even try to confirm these rumours! And it hurts to think that one day, someone will take Lila's words seriously and get hurt. What if she says it's safe to dip strawberries in bleach? Or tells someone that she found a way to tame some kind of wild animal? Someone would get hurt because they believe her story and try it out for themselves!"

"My goodness, I can definitely see how that is a problem. Misinformation is very easy to spread thanks to the internet, so you being worried is a very relatable thing." Aurore nodded, then tilted her head ever so slightly. "Ladybug, do you know anyone who has taken her word seriously? This is besides the Ladyblog of course."

Ladybug closed her eyes briefly, mentally debating with herself before finally giving in. These things needed to be said.

"Collège François DuPont. Now I wasn't there personally, but I heard about this situation and looked into it. The entire situation was appalling. Apparently a student was found to have cheated, assaulted another student, and commited thievery. But the thing that stuck out is only one person saw her do all of these things; Lila Rossi. No investigation was done, no questioning other students. This student was then expelled immediately. Her teacher and her principal didn't even give her a chance. And from what people have been saying, Miss Rossi's behaviour is actively encouraged in that school. She misses countless days, no, months of school, claiming she's traveling. But when she was supposedly in Achu, doing whatever it was she was claiming with Prince Ali, I was fighting her akuma here in Paris on Heroes Day!"

"I was at school the day that happened. I knew the student that happened to. They're the nicest person in that school! Never a bad thing to say about anyone, always willing to help! I agree with you on how things were handled, it's a level of incompetence that is baffling." Aurore's hands slowly curled into fists as she remembered it all. She slowly shook her head. "The principal, their teacher, their class who backed up Rossi. It must have hurt them so much, made them feel so alone."

"That's why I want people to be more careful with what information they take as fact. It's so important, because stuff like that can lead people to a desperate place. They feel alone, like the entire world is against them. I wouldn't have let the principal and the teacher get away with that gross negligence in their jobs." Ladybug leveled her gaze directly to the camera. "People of Paris, please listen to what I am saying. I am here to be a hero, to protect you from the terror of Hawkmoth and to defeat him. But please, do not be like Principal Damocles, do not be like that teacher and her class at DuPont. Do your research, look up your facts. Do not let a liar lead you to do something dangerous and hurt yourself as well as others. Respect each other, talk and be honest. I swear on my life that I shall do the same. You are the people I swore to protect and I love. I am saying this all to protect you. And I'll hope you'll all forgive me for not protecting you sooner."

...

The interview rocked Paris. Ladybug speaking so openly about her frustrations, about the discrepancies in the Ladyblog and Lila Rossi had many people double checking the sources of everything they learned from that blog.

Alya could barely show her face as she made her way though the school hallways. Her reputation as a journalist had gone down the drain. People had basically started boycotting her blog, harrassing her, or trash talking her on other forums and sites. Even a lot of news outlets picked this up.

What hurt the most from that interview last night was Ladybug's words towards her, both as Rena Rouge and as Alya. Surely the heroine had to be mistaken, she had never beytrayed Ladybug! And that Oblivio incident, it was just to show Chat Noir and Ladybug that they were meant to be together!

Her family was upset with her. No, upset was too tame of a word. They were pissed.

"I can't believe she lied to us.."

"Well what do you expect from someone who keeps harrassing Ladybug?"

Alya flinched when she heard the whispers and rushed into Miss Buster's class. The entire class was there, all seated, all looking utterly miserable. Many of them looked as if they had been crying all night. A lot like she had.

"W-where's Miss Bustier?" Alya asked when she eyed the empty desk. Many of her classmates shot her glares, but didn't say anything about the interview last night. After all, they had no room to talk.

"She and Principal Damocles are with the school board now. We're getting a new teacher." Adrien was the one that spoke up. He looked utterly miserable. So unlike his usual self.

"Lila isn't coming back. She was pulled from school when her mother found out what happened." Alix muttered from her seat, arms crossed and shoulders hunched.

The class went quiet as they all internally contemplated how things had gotten like this. Their eyes focused on the door when it abruptly opened and Marinette came strolling in, carrying a box.

"Good morning everyone!" She said brightly, pretending not to notice the downcast expressions on their faces. She set the box on the teacher's desk before she turned towards them. "Oh? What's wrong everyone?"

".. Did you not watch the interview with Ladybug on 'Latest Buzz'?" Alya stared at Marinette, a bit dumbfounded by her friend's lack of awareness of the situation. She had been expecting Marinette to rush in with support and a fiery vengeance against those who had humiliated her best friend, maybe even a fresh pastry. But instead she was greeted with empty hands and a cheerful hello?

"Oh, well I haven't really had the time to watch much television. I mean, with my transfer papers, needing to plan out my new schedule with all of those new classes. Busy as a bee, that's me!" Marinette just beamed, giving Adrien a playful wink that had his stomach churning.

"Wait, transfering?" It was Rose that spoke up, her large eyes seeming impossibly large now. "Transfer what?"

"To my new school, of course." Marinette giggled and clasped her hands together. "I start on Monday."

"New school?!" Alya was on her feet and rushing towards Marinette. The others quickly followed, crowding around her. "What do you mean new school?! When did you ever say you were going to a new school?"

Marinette blinked, as if stunned, then tilted her head ever so slightly.

"I told you all last week, don't you remember?" Marinette tapped her lower lip, seeming to be wracking her brain before she abruptly snapped her fingers. "Oh! I forgot, you all were deep in conversation with Lila about her upcoming event with Jagged Stone and Clara Nightengale. You know, the one she said she'd be attending with Ladybug, since they're such good friends. Did she ever say how it went?"

All of the students shifted uneasily, suddenly seeming to refuse to meet her face.

Alix murmured something so barely audible, Marinette held a hand to her ear and leaned closer.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Lila was lying to us!" Alix snapped as her cheeks went a flaming red.

"About everything! She never knew Jagged Stone!" Juleka spat out in fury.

"Or Prince Ali!" Rose sniffled.

"And she wasn't friends with Ladybug? They were barely acquaintances!" Alya wailed out as tears welled up in her eyes.

But Marinette hardly reacted the way they were expecting. She just gave them a small smile and nodded.

"Oh, yeah. I know."

Alya sucked in a breath sharply.

"You knew..? But why did you never..?"

"Oh Alya, you silly forgetful thing. I told you the day she returned from her long 'trip', remember? I told you she was lying." Marinette gave Alya a smile that said 'oh you silly thing'. "But you told me that I should really check my sources. And I got tired of trying to bring up any lies, since that was always your response. So I decided to just stop. I mean, since you're such an inspiring, honest journalist you must double and triple check every source you come across and found every story to be true!"

Alya flinched and looked away, feeling the churning feeling in her gut again. No, the Ladyblog had been the only source for the stories. The. Only. One.

"And I'm sure all of you knew what you were doing! I mean, it makes sense; trusting the words of a complete stranger over someone you've known for a while now. Some of you since we were in diapers!" She focused her gaze on Nino and Kim, who had the grace to at least look ashamed.

"Marinette, you really should-" Adrien began, reaching out for the girl, but was cut off by her clapping her hands together.

"But it's alright! I decided that fighting with you all wasn't worth it, so I took Adrien's advice and took the high road! Don't bother exposing Lila, she isn't hurting anyone!" Marinette announced brightly, giving her hands a little wave.

The temperature in the classroom dropped by several degrees.

".. Adrien, she's kidding, right?" Nino glanced over at his friend, his eyes pleading for him to deny it all. But the sight of the blood draining from the model's face and the sweat starting to bead at his forehead told him everything he needed to know. "Dude.."

"How could you?! You knew this entire time and didn't even try to tell me?!" Alya rounded on Adrien, fury in her eyes.

"Now, now, don't get mad at Adrien. I'm sure he knew you all were going to do you research. Besides, it's not like this did anything bad for anyone." Marinette pressed a hand to her cheek, still grinning. "I mean, it's not like you all took her advice without doing any research. You didn't try the things she suggested without actually checking them out to be true, right? No one lost any scholarships or job opportunities. No one's relationships were ruined. No one was hurt."

The nauseous feeling spread to all of the class as the reality of everything caught up with them.

"I'm sure everything will go back to normal, right? I mean, I'm sure that that woman from the education bureau isn't here to fire Damocles and Bustier for their severe neglect in their duties. Expelling me with the most mediocre and shaky proof. Surely that's a school I should feel safe in! That I should be proud to be a part of. But alas, my preparations for my new school are already done, so oh well."

Marinette shrugged and adjusted her purse strap.

"Anyhow, I wish you all luck with the amazing things Lila has helped you to do! I know it must have been worth ignoring me and convincing me I was crazy. With all of the free time I've had, with you guys practically replacing me with Lila in the group, I've had tons of time to spend with my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?!" Alya's eyes went owlishly wide as she gaped at Marinette. "But what about Adrien?!"

"Oh Alya, I fell out of love with Adrien forever ago." Marinette shook her head in an almost patronizing way that had Alya's cheeks burning with embarrassment. They didn't even pay attention to Adrien's noises of surprise. "I mean, you claimed I was jealous of Lila getting close to Adrien, that I should let the jealousy go. And you know what? You were right! So I decided Adrien wasn't worth the stress, the embarrassment.. I mean, I couldn't even talk to him straight. I thought he was the most perfect guy in the world! Goodness, did I learn my lesson!"

She giggled as if she found the entire thing amusing. She then beamed at the class.

"Well, ta-ta! I need to get back home and make sure everything is ready to go. I wish you all the best, I really do!"

They all watched, shellshocked as Marinette breezed out of the classroom like it was nothing. Like she wasn't leaving her friends, her school, her life behind. And they all would wonder exactly how badly they screwed up, if she could walk away do easily, without a care.

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[hotchley]

hey sumayyah! i saw your sign!! I'm writing the JJ & Emily parts of the really out of the blue and shitty mini-whatever it is 💀 and hopefully I'll figure out how to shorten it or something lmaoo

but i wanted to come here and talk for awhile i guess

it's like, 2am where i am right now and I'm just so drained mentally like idk i can't seem to focus on getting all my work done (school work) and i just submitted a fake corrupted file to pass off as my homework because i haven't been able to finish it (it's not graded or anything it's just 2 biology practice papers for revision for the upcoming exam but they're really long & biology is not my strong subject......)

like I'm 60-70% done on both papers and yeah i feel so bad for doing what i did and i am still planning on finishing those 2 papers (both as legitimate practice/revision & just in case my teachers do check and decide to ask me to resubmit/send them the file through another channel) and idk i obviously can't really talk to any one in school about this so i came here.... sorry for this bout of negativity i just feel so drained inside and it's not even the first time.... I'm on my break right now (mid years break) but my break is ending in roughly 4-5 more days? and I've felt unmotivated and horrible throughout the entire break idk :/ idk if this is just burn out or something else.... I've been planning on finding a therapist/professional to talk to? but 1. i can't exactly do it "openly" because i come from a rather conservative family and mental health issues (& sexuality etc) aren't things we talk about in my family.... and 2. I'm still a full-time student & I'm not sure of what services are available + the costs and all the other concerns? so like idk I'm not even sure where to start :(

and because I've been feeling like cr*p most of the time the last 3 weeks, I've done absolutely nothing & so i have TONS of school assignments piled up (those that were due during the break I've finished (somehow lmao) and submitted, but those that are due AFTER the break when school reopens.... i have completely not touched) & the worst thing is I'm not even entirely sure what's my entire workload.... so i definitely have to start seriously getting my work done from tomorrow (technically today) onwards.... but like i genuinely have a hard time focusing on work and I'm not sure if it's just my issues with procrastination or if i have a genuine illness or something and i don't want to self diagnose so I've been trying to not think about this but lately it's been so hard because i can't even finish my work on time and exams are coming and it's just really affecting me? and it's getting worse? i don't even have anyone i can truly talk to about this irl too and SKDJSKSNS idk 😭😭

i am SO SORRY for all the negativity!!!!! i just felt so alone and really had to vent somewhere i am so sorry, feel free to delete this ask if you're uncomfortable 🥺

i hope you're having a much better day/night and i love you ❤️ your blog (& cm Tumblr) is really giving me hope & keeping me alive, if i can put it that way 🥺♥️♥️ thank you for being you, and thank you for simply existing. I'm sorry things got so depressing all of a sudden lmao I'll be fine (eventually, probably)

- 🌙

I feel like my answer got long, so I put it under the cut :)

YAY!

Also, I did see this when you initially sent it, but I'm working on boundaries and priorities, which is why I didn't answer it then- I just needed a break <3

Look, you're learning during a pandemic that has disrupted everything and caused a lot of pain and stress. One corrupted file does not make you a bad student. You're still going to try.

There were so many days during lockdown where I just... didn't submit any work, and then I would submit it later saying the thing broke- which seemed believable because the thing we used never functioned properly.

And we cannot be happy or perfect all the time. Sometimes we need to share our problems. I have always said you can talk to me, it just may take me a few days depending on my own situation, and I stand by that.

Sometimes breaks just make us more miserable. Sometimes it is just genuinely a phase that you will snap out of. Sometimes it isn't. Either way, you need to let yourself feel this. Don't try and bury it. That'll be worse.

So when it comes to therapists, if you've been thinking of seeing one, go for it. Chances are, it'll help.

I get what you mean. I don't know what it's like where you are, but in England, everyone over 16 has control over the medical stuff. That basically means your parents cannot be told what you're doing, and you can do things without their knowledge. If I wanted to make an appointment, I wouldn't need to tell them I was making it, or what was discussed. Neither can the doctors.

I asked one of my friends (I have consent to share this), and she said that she went through the BetterHelp website, and that it's really helping her. Now I know BetterHelp had some real serious problems, so I would be cautious, but that is one option. Hers is between £50-£60 a session, but there were cheaper options.

You could also go through your school!! My school has what is called a "well-being practitioner" who you can just go and see when you're feeling down, and it all remains confidential UNLESS they think intervention is needed. So you could see if there are any sessions they do, or if there's any help you can get from them :)

I have seen SO, SO many teachers on TikTok recently say two things: ask them for help if you need it, and they will give it, and just do something. I don't know what you're teachers are like, but they're probably stressed and burnt out too. If you need an extension or a break or help, they'll do their best.

And if you can't do everything, then just do one thing. Do your favourite subject, or the easiest thing. I know people say do the hardest thing first because then everything gets easier, but the one time I did that, I started crying and I gave up for a good three days so...

If you've done extensive research, then maybe it is something, and if you think that there is that, then you should try and get tested <3 and it's okay if there really is nothing. Sometimes brains are weird

You don't ever have to apologise for being human <3 Remember how I mentioned crying for twenty minutes to my history teacher? I said the same thing to him: that I feel bad talking about these things because everyone has their own problems. His response was: well yes, but there are so many people that want to help you. And they would tell you if you were being a burden.

You need to trust that. And it's hard. It's painful. It's difficult. But I promise you, telling someone will always be better than bottling it up- and this comes from the person that was pissed for six weeks because I got a phone call home from someone higher up because previously mentioned history teacher told them that I was not doing great

I love you too!!

And sometimes life gets you down! That's okay! Things will get better! Maybe this isn't healthy, but my thing is: things will work out, and things will get better because they need to, and I refuse to believe I am living a life where they won't.

You will be fine! I have every faith in you!!

[missmentelle]

This might sound very silly but I just don't know how to be more proactive. I've been very passive all this years until this point where I feel like I can't anymore. I wish I could be more hardworking for the things I want but I get all overwhelmed and don't even know how other people have the energy or the motivation. People think Im just lazy. I don't have almost any skills let alone any that I can monetize, I feel like Im going to be a looser forever.

I think this is a problem that a lot of people - especially younger people - are struggling with right now. We want to achieve great things, and we feel like we should be achieving great things, but many of us are so paralyzed by doubt/anxiety/apathy/uncertainty that we have a hard time mustering up the motivation to run basic errands, let alone chase our dreams. I’ve certainly spent more than my fair share of time beating myself up for the countless days that I’ve fucked around on Reddit all day instead of actually achieving anything, even when I was fully aware that I was sabotaging my own dreams and goals by doing so. I just couldn’t always muster up the ability to care about the things I needed to be doing, even if there were dire consequences for not doing them. The good news is, there are definitely ways to overcome this issue, and reach a point where you are happier with your progress and your life. To get started, I recommend:

Decide what it is you actually want. Telling yourself to “be more proactive”, “work harder” or “have a better life” is not helpful if you don’t actually have specific goals that you’re working towards. It is very, very easy to find ways to be “busy” for 8 hours per day - but being busy doesn’t necessarily mean progress. Take some time, and think about some rough goals that you’d like to actually work towards. Don’t worry about how much work or effort it would be to achieve those goals, just start thinking about what you want in life, and what’s the most important to you. Think about the kind of life that you would like to have someday, and start figuring out the steps you need to take in order to get yourself from your current life to the life that you envision. It’s okay if those things are very far apart - the point is not for you to get overwhelmed, but for you to have something to be proactive about. 

Start slowly. You cannot go from “spending 8 hours per day mindlessly browsing the internet amidst a pile of old take-out containers” to “running 5 miles every morning before making art for 8 hours in a spotless apartment with a fridge full of vegetables” overnight. Trying to change your routine too drastically and too quickly will lead to you burning out in a couple of days and going right back to your old ways, with an added dose of self-hatred because you tried and failed. Trying to be more productive and more functional is a process, and a long one at that. It’s not at all unusual or abnormal to take several years of work before you get your life to where you want it to be. Start slow. Start with incredibly tiny changes, and slowly build up those changes over time. If you currently live on a diet of fast food and candy, and you want to be a shredded, clean-eating fitness guru, you can’t rush into that all at once. Start by swapping out full-sugar pop for diet pop for the first month, and trying to drink more water. That’s it. Don’t make any other changes. Then the second month, switch out diet pop for flavored water. And so on. Change only sticks when it’s gradual. 

Focus on one thing at a time. Again, trying to do too much, too soon is a recipe for fast burnout and self-hatred. Start by trying to change one area of your life, and one area of your life alone. Once you feel like you have a pretty solid handle on that part of your life and you have established some new habits, then you can add on a second area of focus. Spend some time, and really think about which area of your life is the most important for you to change, and which area of focus will improve your life the most. If it helps, envision your problems as rocks that you are carrying around in a backpack with you at all times. What’s the heaviest rock in your backpack? If you are overweight, unhappily single, making no progress building your YouTube channel and failing out of college, then your college grades are probably the thing causing you the most stress in your life, and they’re your most urgent concern - focus on that, and give yourself permission to let the rest of it sit on the back burner until you have boosted your GPA. Only then will you be ready to start changing something else. 

Go easy on yourself. I think one of the pitfalls that many young people face these days is that they absolutely crush themselves with unrealistic expectations of what they “should” be doing with their lives; it’s hard to get up the motivation to do anything when you’ve convinced yourself that the bare minimum for success is an impossible ideal. I have friends with master’s degrees who still consider themselves failures that haven’t done anything in life. Remember that you are not a machine. Even at your most successful and high-functional, you will not be perfect and productive 100% of the time. You will still have lazy days where you don’t get much done. You will still occasionally order takeout instead of making a home-cooked meal. You will still occasionally procrastinate. Don’t set yourself up for failure by comparing yourself to an unattainable ideal - just aim to be a slightly better version of what you are right now. 

Get used to tracking, even without making changes. It’s hard to set goals for improvement if you don’t have a solid idea of what you’re actually doing right now. Telling yourself things like “stop being so lazy and do more things” is setting yourself up for a spiral of self-loathing if you don’t actually track what you’re doing, because you won’t be able to see the small, gradual progress that you’re making. Being able to actually see yourself taking baby steps toward your goal is important for keeping you motivated, and keeping you from beating yourself up. Don’t track absolutely everything in your life - that becomes obsessive after a while - but keep an eye on some of the major things that you might want to change in the future. Install apps on your phone and laptop that track how much time you spend doing what. Set up the step tracker on your phone. If you want to eat better in the future, start tracking roughly what you eat now. I’m a pretty avid bullet journaler, I track a lot of my daily habits. Keeping track of the things you do, even if you’re not proud of them, and even before you start to work on them, gives you a baseline to work with, so you can establish how bad the problem is and see when you’re heading in the right direction. 

Forget the obsession with monetizing. A lot of us have gotten this idea in our heads that we need to find ways to monetize everything that we’re even remotely good at, or doing that thing is somehow a waste of our time. I don’t want to generalize about millennials and gen z too much, but I do feel like our generation was raised on the belief that “doing what you love” is the most important thing in life; I personally have many friends that are obsessed with monetizing, to the point that they no longer do anything unless they can find some way to funnel it into advancing their blogger/influencer/creator career. I think this is a mistake. When you monetize something that you love doing, you turn it from a hobby into a job, with all the stress that comes with that, and I think it’s important for everyone to have at least one thing in their life that they do just for the joy of it. It’s okay to let work be work, and play just be play. And I say this as a person who has monetized one of my hobbies; I love true crime and forensic psychology, and I co-host a true crime podcast that has recently had a huge surge of popularity and is on the cusp of being monetized. I could write an entire post about the mental health side of being a creator with a public online presence, but in a nutshell, turning my podcast from a hobby into a business has required me to take it a lot more seriously, and it now falls more into the category of “work” than it does “fun”. My enjoyment of life requires that some of my other hobbies - like playing music - just stay un-monetized hobbies. Let yourself create and do things that don’t have economic value. 

Don’t compare yourself to what you see on social media. I have had both personal friends and followers on this blog tell me that they feel bad about themselves because their life doesn’t measure up to what they see on Instagram, or because they feel that their own lives would not be worthy of posting online. This is a toxic mindset to get into. The things you see on social media are not reality, no matter how much they appear to be - people put incredible amounts of effort into carefully cultivating an online persona that makes them look more productive and accomplished than they actually are. I have a brother who who is a somewhat successful Instagram “influencer”, alongside his more successful girlfriend, and I could write an entire post about the lengths they go to to fake having perfect lives on Instagram, and the toll that their Insta careers are having on their mental health. If you are looking to be a more productive version of yourself, it’s best to steer clear of “motivation” from people who are paid to pretend to be successful online. 

Set measurable, achievable goals. Goals like “be healthier” and “do more stuff” won’t get you anywhere - they are so vague that it’s not possible to tell when you’ve actually achieved them, or how much progress you’ve made. If you want to be more productive and feel like you’re getting more done, you need to set goals that can actually be worked towards and checked off when they are done. Instead of “go to the gym more”, aim for “go to the gym 5 days per week” as your end goal, and start with a solid couple of months with “go to the gym at least once per week”, and slowly increase from there. If you’re aiming for something big like “have an awesome job”, break that down into medium-sized goals like “finish an undergrad degree”, and then break that goal down even further into “hand in all my assignments on time this semester”, and break that down further into “write the first 10 pages of my paper by the end of the week”. Set tiny goals for yourself that you can easily achieve, and that will gradually accumulate into big accomplishments. 

Remember that slow progress is better than no progress. If you write one sentence per day, it is going to take you a really long time to write a novel. It will take you a whole lot less time, however, than if you get overwhelmed at the thought of writing a novel and never write at all. Sometimes you need to break goals down into steps so small that they also seem not worth doing. It can feel a little silly to congratulate yourself for things like “brushed my teeth today” and “texted someone back today”, but those are little habits that add up into bigger things, and giving yourself that positive reinforcement is important. “Greatness” and “success” are not things you achieve all at once, they are made up of tiny habits that you’ve been working on for months or years at a time. 

Take care of your mental health. Not feeling the motivation to do anything, even things that you enjoy, can be a symptom of depression. Everyone beats themselves up from time to time for not being more productive, but if your brain is constantly on a feedback loop of “I’m human garbage and I’m wasting my life”, that’s a pretty serious problem, and a solid sign that it’s time to seek out some professional help. Trying to make major life improvements without addressing underlying mental health concerns is kind of like trying to drive a car without wheels - you’re just not going to get anywhere until you’ve dealt with the obvious problem. 

Remember that setbacks are okay. Even the most highly proactive and high-functioning people have days where they say “fuck it” and order takeout to eat in front of the TV. Everyone occasionally misses deadlines or leaves things to the last minute when they shouldn’t. Everyone shows up late occasionally. These things happen - we are humans, and none of us are perfect. The key to long-term proactivity and productivity, though, is not to let those small setbacks define you, and not to throw away all the progress you’ve made over a bad day or a bad week. Eating healthy six days per week will put you in a much better position than deciding “fuck it, I blew it” after one bad meal and returning to eating unhealthy meals 7 days per week. As the saying goes, don’t let perfect be the enemy of good - in other words, perfection is not attainable, and getting hung up on being perfect will prevent you from achieving many things that are good. The idea is not to be perfect; it’s just to keep striving to be a slightly better version of yourself. 

Best of luck to you!

[the10amongstthese3s]

hi duckie, i have a lot of schoolwork that's been piling up recently and i'm also taking a million different online classes. i can normally get stuff done pretty quickly if i feel like it but recently i've been kinda unmotivated. so now i have a bunch of unfinished work and i just don't feel like doing classes. idk why i'm sending this but yeah

It’s okay, sweetpea. We’re all a little unmotivated now. Our lives have been flipped upside down - it makes sense that our lil brains are struggling with the loss off routine and normalicy. I’ve been struggle even just writing, and I enjoy writing my fics and reviews! So I can imagine how hard it must be to find the effort to do something you don’t particularly enjoy like schoolwork.

We all handle the lack of motivation differently. Personally, I’ve been jumping in the shower and getting in comfy clothes so I’m completely chilled out, grabbing a cup of tea, and simply forcing myself to sit at my desk with no distractions for a couple of hours to just see what I can manage to pump out. The knowledge of how much less stressed I’ll be once it’s done and that I can relax in bed with a movie certainly helps. The more you stress yourself out about completing the work, the less you’re gonna want to do it. Just try to keep yourself calm, okay? I know school is stressful but you’ve got this. A late turn-in isn’t the end of the world, a slightly lower than average grade won’t destroy your life. You can do this 💚🦆

[soonyouns]

nooooo don’t be sorry!!!!!! i keep getting sidetracked too bc of uni and personal stuff but i’m doing better now :> just busy bc i have a lot of deadlines but i don’t feel too horrible about them ahhshwjs i’m glad to hear you’re doing okay!! 💗 and i saw that you also watched squid game? 🤩 i’d probably be out from the first game too 💀

yeah, i've had assignments piled up recently so i've been trying to keep up with them but not let them consume all of my time 🤧

i'm glad you're doing better now ! also, i hope you get everything done before the deadlines ! try not to stress about it <33

yeah ! with my balance, there's no way i'd make it past red light green light :') although i doubt i'd make it through any of the other games either? i just can't see myself winning any of them

[v3-killing-harmony-imagines]

“the boys cheering up their s/o who's just been out of it lately? it'd be nice to have them cheer me up as i've been quite sad recently..”

I’ve been a bit out of it as well so here 

Saihara 

When he finds out that you’ve been feeling bad lately he’s crushed 

He doesn’t want you to be sad......

he would ask you to tell him what’s bothering you, that is if you are comfortable with it

He’ll sit upright, tense and at attention when you explain your reasoning 

he gives the best advice he can, depending on the situation before asking if there’s anything he can do for you 

He’s more than willing to do whatever you wish 

He’s not that experienced when it comes to comforting people...so he’s a bit awkward at it 

He’ll give you back rubs, he’ll let you rest on his chest, holding you close etc

He really just tries to keep you close to him, he can really only help that way.....

Whether that be kisses, cuddles or showing his love in ‘other ways’

He’s willing to do anything 

He’ll be reluctant to leave you alone, he wants you to feel better 

Ouma:

He jokes about it at first 

“Aw, s/o is a little crybaby!”

And then you cry harder, he panics

nice going ouma 

But then he realizes the severity of the situation and smartens up 

He’ll hold you in his arms, cooing into your ear that he’s sorry and that he never meant to heart your feelings 

He almost starts crying himself, but he’ll never admit it 

He’ll let you use his scarf as a tissue as well

Once most of the tears have stopped flowing he’ll get you a hot drink for you to sip, as you vent about your issues and him

He never lets go of you, always curling you up in his arms 

Once you’ve finished he’ll comfort you, saying that he’s there to protect you and be there for you always 

If anyone hurts you, they have to answer to him

Nothing can ever change that 

He loves you, that’s the truth 

He looks calm, eyes soft and breathing calm

It’s short lived, he smiles and drags you along off the bed

He’s going to make you laugh and smile the hardest today, if its the last thing he’ll do 

Amami:

He can pick up on your sadness pretty quickly 

he respects that you may want to be left alone, so he’ll keep his distance 

Until he can start to see the bags under your eyes and how you seem to be disconnected 

He asks you politely if you are feeling down. 

You assure him that you’re fine 

liar 

He presses harder, you yell at him that you can handle it 

But then you start crying 

He approaches you slowly, asking you to take it easy

You manage to keep it together until he touches you

Then everything is thrown out the window, your mask, your strength and you break down

Your legs give out as you cling desperately to his shirt 

Amami doesn’t mind, he gently holds you and carries you to the nearest bed or couch to rest 

As your cry yourself out he gently pats your hair, cradling your shaking form 

Once you’re feeling a bit better he’d gently ask again what’s wrong

So you spill everything, he listens intently 

Once you’ve finished he comforts your worries and helps you relax

He’ll keep talking, reminding you of good thoughts until you drift to sleep 

Korekiyo:

He knows all about sadness, depression, those type of things 

It’s an emotion that every person from every culture and race feel , no mater what 

He knows how serious despairing can effect a person 

But at the same time, it can be over within a day or 2 

It is a very complex emotion, that every person is treated differently for 

So when he finds out that you have been feeling sad recently he’s well prepared for whichever road you’ll take him down 

He sits you down, the two of you have a vent session 

He asks questions and you answer them

It isn’t like a normal therapist talk though, he’ll pat your hand and if you seem to be on the edge of tears he’ll immediately stop and coo soft assurances in your ear 

He takes it very slow, neither of  you mind

He’ll make tea to calm your nerves, the two of you sipping softly

actually i take that back i forgot about his mask whoops  

He’ll address all of your feelings with a professional attitude 

It can make you sad...he should act like your boyfriend rather than someone professional-

the second you even think that he stops mid sentence 

He takes a breath, and then-

He pulls of his mask

He moves forward in a swift motion, grabbing the back of your head and kissing you 

He leaves you shocked and when he pulls away you can admire him in all his glory 

He places your hand on his chest, you can feel the beat beneath your fingers 

“You make me like this. You and only you.”

blushblushblushblush

After that he’ll rest with you the rest of the day, giving advice without the professional act 

It makes you feel good. Right 

You feel all your sadness floating away, you get to admire Korekiyo in his non-sophisticated glory 

And it’s wonderful 

Kaito:

He walks in to seeing you crying 

The first thing out of his mouth is an offer to kill whoever made you this way 

You sniffle, rubbing your nose and tell him things are just stressful 

He’s riled up

A lot 

He’s pacing and ranting about how you shouldn’t have to through any of this 

And-

Oh- 

He just-

He just threw the table 

Oh no he’s punching the wall 

He recoils his hand, shaking it and hissing in pain 

Dumbass

You continue to cry, he jumps in realization and does everything he can to make you stop 

He’s begging you to smile, holding your face and wrapping you in his jacket 

He’ll remind you that nothing should bring you down! You’re his angel!

Once you’ve stopped crying he’ll be happy

He’d put on a movie for you or do whatever you’d like! As long as you’re happy!

“But I mean.....” 

Huh?

“If it’s stress you’re feeling...” A smirk from him 

“I know a little stress reliever-”

You throw a pillow at him

Kiibo:

It takes him multiple calculations to determine that you are saddened 

He decides to tell you his conclusion

When he tells you it seems to hurt you, he immediately regrets it 

“A-ah I’m sorry! It seems that you did not want my conclusion! I am very sorry!”

You tell him that it’s fine, it’s not him that’s the issue 

“I-issue?”

His eyes are (literally) glowing 

“Please tell me more!”

You sigh, and sit him down 

It starts off with you just lightly venting 

But then the tears start falling, Kiibo freaks out and you continue to cry 

He grabs you a tissue box, you thank him 

Whatever you’re feeling bad about, he’ll provide advice (that he got off of the internet) and talk to you about it as best as he can 

If you still feel bad afterwards he’ll take your mind off of things, going out somewhere to get you out of the house 

He knows he isn’t the best at this type of stuff...

He knows it better than anyone 

He’s can’t ever be the same as a normal human being 

But 

That doesn’t stop him from trying his hardest 

You can tell when you wake to see him passed out in a pile of written notes, all saying encouraging things 

He placed them everywhere, to make you happy 

You smile, place a peck on his check and thank him softly 

whatever happens after that can happen, he’ll be there for you, learning and trying as well 

Gonta:

You have to tell him upfront that you aren’t feeling well 

His face immediately contorts with sadness, it pains you

He sweats and is flailing his arms and asking you what happened????

You just want to sugar-coat it, by seeing his face 

But 

he needs to know the truth 

So you tell him everything, having to stop him from full on panicking at times 

It ends up you having to tell him that you aren’t gonna die, so he can calm down 

once he finally can think a bit better he gives you encouragment! lots of it !

You are perfect!

You are good!

You shouldn’t let others bring you down!

He’ll get some cute butterflies or ladybugs and show them to you

they’re cute!!! Like you!!!

Oh? Would you look at that cat!!!

Cute!!! 

Like you!!

He makes you smile with how adorable he’s being 

even though you’re problems aren’t solved....

But look at how cute he’s being!!!

It’s hard for you to stay sad for so long, he just makes you light up 

Later that, he makes sure to give you lots of cuddles in bed! 

Hoshi: ((dt to Levia))

when you approach him and tell him that you’re sad he’s surprised 

He can’t really believe someone as good as you can feel something like that 

It isn’t fair 

He’ll sit down and listen to you explain your problems to him 

He scratches at the brim of his hat a lot, eyes narrowing at the floor 

He knows a lot about dealing with lots of pressure, sadness, anxiety...all of it 

he doesn’t want you to go through any of it 

Whatever God is making you go through this is Sick

He’s worthless 

Focusing back on you, he notices that you seem to be crying 

He assures you that it’s alright to cry, and then the flood gates open 

All the emotions and fear and anxiety just unfold as you blubber and he holds you close (as he can rip) and reassures you that it’s alright 

He let’s you cry until your throat goes raw 

And then he explains how you don’t deserve any of this

You are so wonderful 

You are his everything 

His light 

The one who made his life worth living 

He keeps complimenting you, pretty soon you’re a red mess in his arms 

He keeps telling you how much he loves you

You feel warm, your heart

It’s warm

and cosy 

and safe 

it’s wonderful