#I've been thinking about doing more Thoughts(tm) about stuff I like for writing practice...but it's scary

[bbq-potato-chip]

I have another ask. What was your first ever Legend of Zelda game? Also what is your favorite one ?

BoTW was my first ever zelda game! I got it when it first came out on WiiU in 2017, although I didn't really play it myself until long after lol, but its still very near and dear to my heart.

Not to be one of those people, but BotW would probably be my favorite because it was really the first video game i really played myself. The story is just so important to me and the excitement I felt whenever I'd explore a new area or even find anew korok or npc out in the wilderness felt so special! Finding the memories felt so special too- slowly uncovering zelda and link's relationship and watching zelda gradually warm up to him and then seeing the final memories was just so good, on top of slowly rediscovering the champion's relationships with link and zelda.

Uncovering the story piece by piece was such an interesting way to do the story because. You ARE link and you slowly begin to understand who these people are and what they meant to you. You know at first that there were these people who knew you that died. You know that there's a princess waiting for you, but you don't really know who she is. But you try to help out anyway. and then you realize. Oh. these people were my friends. The princess loved me. Now I have a reason to fight. And now, after I fight, they can rest in piece. To a certain extent, the story can be subjective to the player and it can be personal to the link as much as the player (ignore the momires just fight the bosses dont even save the champions etc) likes I suppose, but I really think that the way the game subtly directs the player to do things and narrative itself is personal to link and his relationships with zelda and the Champions...which is just so...special i think.

Skyward sword is also one of my favorites (although i haven't completed it...I'm almost at the end but i got scared...dont look at me), and I like totk (although i have some issues with the story and themes as compared to botw) and while I haven't player wind waker or Oot, but I'd really like to! I've watched the cut scenes for many of the big zelda games, but there are many I haven't played that I certainly would like to. But I still think BotW would remain my favorite.

[yukichouji]

Some personal thoughts under the cut. It's fine to skip, I just wanted to put my thoughts somewhere. Always feels less dramatic when I write it down or say it out loud to someone and being stuck alone at home while sick for the second week in a row has to dem thoughts a circling.

Second week of sick leave and I am slowly driving myself insane. Take care of your mental health, kids, or it will take care of you (and not in the nice way)....

All joking aside, last year was just a *lot*, with little to no time/energy to properly digest. And of course, being home sick with not actually enough energy/brainpower to deal with all the feels in a good way but also not enough brain power/energy to keep the mind occupied and from wandering is a great time for things to catch up with you.

I'm making it sound more dramatic than it really is, again, but being an overly dramatic bitch is one of my few joys in life so here we are...

I guess it's just easy for the anxieties to build up when there is so much still hanging in the air that I can't really do anything practical about, yet. Plus the stress of missing work again combined with working in a field where getting a contract that covers a full year and not just chunks of it at a time is actually almost a luxury doesn't help either.

And this is, like, the forth or fith time this winter that I've been sick and off work for multiple weeks at a time. Gotta talk to my doctor about that, too, for sure. I guess I just need to live with the fact that health (in the physical sense) is an issue now, that trying to power through will make it worse, that my health is what dictates what I can and cannot do, not what I want, etc. etc.

I've had my mental health setting my cans and can'ts for me for the first health of my life and now it's the physical on top of that from here on out. I'm not a medical professional, but I've done a lot of reading to try to understand better what is happening to me and I think this may just be part of what living in a constant state of life or death stress response (what cPTSD does to you) catching up with the physical form of it all. You know?

Avoiding stress as best I can is now mandatory, not because it will actually make the stuff I'm dealing with better, but because that's the only option in not making it worse.

I don't have the energy to go over the whole story right now, but in an attempt to not sound so obtuse: I got diagnosed with three different food intolerances last year (dealt with EDs for over a decade, plus stress and the gut is a thing. I know some of that stuff is heredetary, but not always. Gotta have fucked something up there) which meant having to completely restructure my eating habits. Still trying to figure shit out honestly, it's *complicated*TM. And severe sleep apnea (apparently I just stop breathing over 50 times an hour at night for no good reason. My brain not giving the signal to breathe is the problem, not the usual, physical thing where your air way collapses and blocks itself) so now I sleep with a breathing machine (and will for the rest of my life, probably). And PLMDs, kind of like restless leg, where your brain keeps sending signals to your arms and legs to move and that keeps waking you up at night. Am trying to find the right meds for that but have not yet been successfull. Both are accasserbated by stress. I am constantly tired to the point of barely being able to function. Plus pretty intense Endomitriosis, which seems to also have affected my gut. Meds for that are mostly working, as of a couple of months ago, thank god. Still needs a bit of fine tuning, but I've finally found a pill that dials down most of the symptoms to way tolerable and doesn't make me feel so depressed I just want to die. So that's cool.

We have a system here in germany where you can get "disability percentages" based on how badly your quality of life is impaired by the illnesses your dealing with and it is getting harder and harder to get them, but I at least want to try. It would help with some stuff. But I gotta have the energy for the process and you can also only include things that you've had at least half a year of treatment for, so I still need to wait a little bit.

Trying to come to terms with all of this has been a bit, well, you know... Not easy. A lot of the time I'm still just kind of, too tired to feel much of anything, which helps. But is unpleasant when you've just got enough energy again to do feel things, but not enough to really do anything about it.

Gotta give yourself room to feel and breathe and just proccess, I guess.

With all of this doom an gloom, I kind of feel that it's important to state that I very much know that in the grand sceme of things my own suffering is miniscule compared to the suffering that others are going through right now. None of this will kill me outright. I still have much more quality of life than others with chronic illnesses (it gets so much worse than me here). And I'm still very glad to be here, alive, and all that. None of that sort of doom and gloom here. Just kinda wanted to get all that off my chest I guess. I write to get things out of my head and process them. Even though usually it's a little more refined than whatever this ended up being.

If you actually read to the end of this, I apologize. Here is some tea.

Go wrap yourself in a comfy blanket. Get yourself a treat, maybe. Do something nice for yourself.

[brb-on-a-quest]

For the writer asks: 4, 15, 27, and 30 <3

HI IGGY!! :) :) :) tysm; i haven't actually looked through most of these yet so I should do that first XD. Numbers are from here

4- (story idea I haven't written yet)

Ok so I have started this one but then decided I hated it so it's mulling on the back burner until I have more energy to rehash it out for better stuff is part of The Doctor and The Butler storyarc(?world?) at this point, but basically the robins all take the Doc on a Proper Road Trip and it All Goes To Chaos(tm) because the Doctor Does Not Do RoadTrips in the slightest because he just pops in and out of time on a whim and doesn't seem to do great in small spaces for more than 15 minutes (basing this on the cube episode in the Matt Smith Era). It'd be good but it needs a certain... vibe yk? haven't gotten there.

15- (favorite weather for writing). Not a weather, but I can only write when it's dark outside bc then I don't feel about about not doing homework/other things. Rain is also good tho.

27- (Favorite part of writing process). The part in Brainstorming where it all starts coming together and you're just squealing like your twelve and some cool people just invited you to hangout with them, and then you start writing and everything goes smoothly.

30- (Share a fic you're proud of)

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I don't have any full-length WIP done for you to look at but I think I have some assignments (checks through old google documents) lmao no what assignments (shoves them all into the fireplace). Let me give you the beginning of one of my current WIPS that im really proud of currently even if I've been writing and rewriting it so many times.

It wasn’t even close to the moonset when hands and voices raised them from sleep. “Misha, Rose. On your feet. It’s your turn now.”  “Ugh, just kill me now,” Rose muttered as she and Misha both sat up blearily. “Be quicker and easier.” “That’s the coward’s way out. Also, way too expensive.” Misha stood up and rubbed her eyes. “How much fest prep do we gotta do still, Dani?” She watched as the freckled elf started climbing to the top bunk.  Daeneryl flopped down on her mattress, clutching a fat feather pillow, with a yawn. “Just drinks, but those are last minute.”  “Oh, and be careful how you tread around the old man today.” Fayley peeled off her slippers from her feet as Misha and Rose got dressed into their outfits for the day. “Got a new run of trash gryphons. Damn pests.” “Thought Sammy took care of all that?” Rose sighed as she pulled a brush from the vanity table to untangle a sea of unruly curly hair. Starting from the bottom, she winced every time she had to pull it through to the end.  “He was supposed to. Says he did his whole ‘pied piper act’ which he did, but apparently these are a different breed.” Dani sighed. “Nick’s looking into wizard enchantments.”  Eventually, Rose gave it up and threw it all up in a slicked-back ponytail, held in place with an assortment of ribbons and pins. “One day, I swear, I’m just going to take a knife to this and hack it off.” “You’ve been saying that for five years,” Dani laughed. “I’ll believe it when I see it.” “Watch me.” Rose grimaced. Misha shook her head silently as she braided the front sections of her hair and tied it back with a bright orange ribbon that matched her flowing skirt. It was one of her favorites because it made her stand out in a crowd that mostly wore shades of brown and black for practicality. She slipped into her boots and crouched down, waiting for Rose.

Rose caught sight of her and rolled her eyes. “You’re asking for it. Fayley, your count.”  There was a muffled “Go” and fingers interweaved the laces with their corresponding hooks. They looked up when they were finished, approximately the exact same time. “Call that one a draw, I suppose.” Rose shrugged. “Come on, let’s get some food before we have to deal with life.”

[squireofgeekdom]

yfnsm Thoughts so far

tl;dr I really like its Spider Man choices, unfortunately the Don't Forget The MCU of it all is increasingly making me want to fight an exec in an Arby's parking lot, and despite really liking their Peter I continue to stand by that this should have been Miles' show

I am really enjoying the characters, I like their Peter and Spider-Man so far especially in the friendly neighborhood cares about protecting people So Much (more than getting the bad guy(TM) and cares about protecting even people who are doing bad guy(TM) stuff) and second chances and fairness, it's all stuff I really like about the character and it's really nice that the creative team seems to like what I like about him, Nico is great absolutely no notes, I so absolutely feel for her, I love Lonnie and I love the narrative foiling they're doing with Peter (though I think they brought out the Tombstone name too quickly), their Harry gives very queer vibes which means they understood the assignment, this is always and forever a Norman Osborn hater house but I think this is the most I've ever enjoyed watching a take on Norman except for the moments where they very effectively have me cringing back from the screen like I'm watching a horror movie practically shouting 'peter get out of there'. I'm excited about this Otto and his little twink boyfriend I mean lab assistant.

I'm very here for the stories they're setting themselves up to tell and the big swings they're taking - like, Harry finding out Peter is Spider-Man within like, a day? days? Of having first met Peter and not even properly knowing his name is Such a fucking swing it is so funny to me, Personally. Raimi, Webb, 2017, like everybody does the Peter|Spider-Man and Harry secret identity drama and conflict and they just chucked that Right out the window and tbh if I had to follow up how compelling 2017 made that drama I too would also be like maybe I just don't. I'm very here for what we've seen of the two of them so far. And they've got plenty of potential for friendship drama! The way Nico feels worried like she's going to be left behind as Peter's friend I feel for her! and Peter genuinely trying but also trying to be a good friend to this new friend Harry! and whatever tension they might play on with new friend knows about secret identity stuff when his old friend doesn't. The dramatic tragedy already being set up with Lonnie. And I mean it's not like they've ruled out the classics of Harry being pulled in different directions when things break bad with Norman.

I really like what they are doing with this as a Spider-Man show. I really increasingly don't love what they are doing with this as a 'this is in a MCU adjacent universe! Don't forget about the MCU of it all' like. The little nods are fine-to-whatever but like. Dear god why did they think anyone wanted to think about cacw disk horse again. We get it y'all hate the way spider man was brought into cacw you hate the iron man of it all of the MCU spider man movies we get it man we went over this shit years ago. Write the grumpy meta and the fic like everyone else who was annoyed with it has already. Years ago. Marvel got the rights and immediately had to lick the donut to go MINE about it that is literally all it is. It's jarring to be watching this show and then suddenly being slapped by a 2016 text post about blah blah blah. Also the more I think about it the more it makes me dread that this goes hard on the parallel universe track and we like. Have to deal with the Snap again like. No. Can we not. Can we please have a Spider-Man show. I hope I will be wrong, or maybe I'll be right but they'll handle it so well that I'll eat my words but like. I'm glad it's not a prequel show but also. If it is going to keep being this closely tied to being parallel to the MCU and so very annoying about it. I almost would prefer a prequel than having to deal with cacw-and-onwards slapping me in the face like a rotten fish. I hope I'm wrong and this is executive demands/annoyed response to executive demands and will get shaken off in a second season and the show can be allowed to stand on its own because the spider man show they've got is really fun so far!

That said... It does come back to what I've tag rambled about this show about the 'this should've been the (first) Miles Morales Spider Man show' of it all (like 3 different cartoon shows with Miles as a supporting Spider, the Spiderverse inspiration with a lot of this shows' visuals, and Walloping Websnappers also broke down some really interesting points about how various plot elements for this Peter are more of a match for Miles' stories) and it feels like if there hadn't been this initial call for a MCU Spidey prequel / the continued insistence that it still be tied to the MCU, it would have been Miles' show, which like. It's past time for it And as a bonus it wouldn't have had all the tying to MCU problems I just griped about.

Anyway. Still mostly having fun and excited and interested. If you're also watching this show please come talk to me about it if you'd like! (You think I rambled here, I have so much more to say XD )

[fitzefitcher]

I just want to first say that I love your wow stuff, both on here and on ao3. Your stories got me back into wanting to write, more specifically a story that's been in my head for the past couple of months, but one thing I'm worried about is actually posting it? I want to do a few chapters on it before posting it anywhere and was wondering if you have any advice? I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to writing because I've had a lot of people in the past that were close to me discredit my stories or make me change things about it that made me lose interest in it.

It's a crack pairing fic that I want to have some seriousness too, but I feel like once I start it I'll be reminded of my past work and become discouraged.

so this has been sitting in my inbox for about a week bc I wanted to actually think about how to answer, bc like. I feel you, in terms of the anxiety, and in terms of feeling like changing it too much feels like a compromise, or feels like it won't be received well by the community as a whole. there's not really any easy answer to this; "you just have to write what you want to write," is true, and is something I would advise, but that doesn't really take the sting out of that fear, now does it lol. ultimately, you have to write what you would want to read in a story. fanfic is different from regular fiction writing in that it's borne of the intrinsic desire to transform or build upon a story more or less for one's own emotional fulfillment, and I think denying that part of the process doesn't really help anybody. so as long as what you're writing isn't hurting anybody (or yourself, for that matter, and if you're not entirely sure, looking things up and researching is absolutely an option), you should write what it is that will bring you that emotional fulfillment. and fulfillment can be many things- joy, catharsis, kinship, grief, etc- but as long as you're remaining true to yourself, you're probably doing okay.

I think what would do you some good right now in terms of practical advice, if you haven't already, is maybe sit down and make an outline of that story you've got in your head, and then as you go over it, you'll naturally come over the snags of what needs to be mended or changed, without changing the spirit of it, if that makes sense. or, if you have events you want to happen but not necessarily in order, writing them down and seeing what order of them feels more natural when they're laid out in front of you helps, too.

I would also suggest that writing out a few chapters before you start posting, like you had thought, would do you some good, too. sometimes things don't really start to line up until you've actually gotten a feel for writing it, and know where you want it to go, or where it should go. sometimes you get partway through writing something and realize the ending you wanted doesn't work no more and you have to change it lmao, believe me, been there done that

ps: I do really appreciate this a lot wheezes ;;; I had actually been discouraged w my own writing, both bc of head injury nonsense preventing me from actually working on shit and bc of the Fear Of Rejection(TM) so it was really nice to recieve this ask, ty ;;;;;

pps: crackships are inherently dangerous bc shipping something as a joke is the first step to shipping something for real. this has been a psa