#I've got more but I'm tired af rn

[broodsys]

yelling into the void

my biggest issue lately is a deep fear about my future being uncertain. i'm very disabled, i'm easily fatigued, and i know i wouldn't be able to do any kind of "typical" job, although i might be able to do a full-time office job, but it'd wear on me a lot at the same time, esp re: getting there and back

but i don't think that, realistically, i can just... avoid having a job. i need to work

and part of my big spiral lately is that i recently found one job that actually seemed feasible, and, bonus, like something i'd actually enjoy doing and had some experience with. i knew it was unlikely that i would get it, but i still hoped, y'know? i just really wanted this one thing to go my way. but, no. got rejected for it. and i've been really bad about applying around, but it feels so pointless, y'know? like there was a time i was submitting 40+ apps and getting nothing. so now i'm being choosier and trying to do better at them but it's still getting me nowhere

and i'm just. really scared and exhausted and demoralized

i've thought a lot about applying for disability, but there are a lot of limitations if i go that route. plus it would be a Process and i'll probably get denied multiple times and may have to fight to retain my coverage and all these other things

and yknow. unmedicated adhd sucks. it sucks! i have so much trouble doing shit but i'm wary of getting medicated rn because of the shortages and all, and i honestly think it'd be worse for me to find something that works and have it be taken away than to continue on with all my weird structures and routines that sorta-kinda work

add to that a lot of continuing tensions in my household, a lot of... i won't get into it, but health risk factors also in my household... and a serious inability to prepare food and eat well regularly that isn't even so much linked to my disabilities as it is to my family situation, it just sucks. it's hard af and there doesn't seem to be a way out except a job... which i can't get

and what's extra frustrating is that i actually want to work. i think having a job, so long as it's something i can do wrt my disabilities, would help me a lot, even aside from relieving the fear. i do much better with external structure. i try to build my own strict routines and that does help, but external stuff has always worked better for me. i've thought about returning to school but finaid is already a little :/ about giving me more money bc i've gone through the dental assisting program only to immediately return to school to get my BA, plus honestly i wouldn't even know what to do besides use school as an intermediary external structure

but i want to work. i want to do things. and in an ideal world, i want a job that lets me help - people, the environment, whatever, just to do some good. i want money that i can donate to causes. i want to have a sense of even relative security in my life and future. and i can't get that by doing nothing but holy shit doing anything feels so pointless rn

so yeah, that's the biggest, most immediate hurdle i gotta get over now. have to pick up my hope or at least my stubbornness and try again and fail again and try again anyway and it sucks so much and i'm so tired but there's no alternative

[emelinstriker]

So many asks suddenly! I was gone from this au for a few days! Hope you're well rested!

Can I ask where you get ideas for an AU? Like do you have a bunch and pick which one you fancy? cause I love your ideas for the ESAU!! Where'd it come from?

dw my inbox ain't goin below 5 atm. this is the 12th ask in the inbox rn cuz they keep piling again even though i brought it down to 2 like 2 hours ago. and i haven't sketched up any ideas for the school wall irl yet and i'm physically and mentally tired af from all the irl bs last month. fun. :'D

Just general preferences for the most part I guess- Once I'm hyperfixated on a story/AU, I got no problem expanding an entire world around a lil base idea. In the case of ESAU, it was just this lil comfort idea of having powerful servants based on LBD's possession on mainly Wukong.

Though, with some involvement of a very specific group of characters i've been tryna doodle a comic for irl a while ago, shit just got real and things got so much more darker and corrupted than whatever LBD did to Wukong in the show.

As in, the characters pulling the strings are already rather far placed in the background to the point where no one seems to give them a second glance or question them. And only one of them has officially appeared in the written X Readers of the AU.

In general, ESAU is like a little equation of reverse harem + lego monkie kid + dumpster fire of emotions of various degrees depending on the level of lore in the iceberg you're viewing + technically sorta OC lore + whatever the fuck my brain is on at 10pm when it should slowly turn off. Though, parts of it were kinda inspired by my ancient old Bad Guy Sanses X Reader book called Castle's Pet, and my never revealed OC stories, and I practically just slapped them together with LMK and called it a day fhnfhngfhnhfg

Also I just love making things a bit more fucked up lore-wise just because I know those hook the most interest. It's like a car accident. You're curious and just have to at least take a look at what happened.

[throwaway-yandere]

Happy new year everyone!!! Admittedly I suck at expressing myself so you'll have to forgive me if this comes across as a raw and chaotic mess lol. I'm not tagging the names either cause I'm a coward

It was incredibly fun running this blog!!! I never thought it last this long– and if probably wouldn't have it weren't for leftdestiny-post/shiro commenting on a fic haha (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠). Then I met some wonderful people, starting with like crying anon and their beloved elf darling, poptartthings, thatanonthatabsolutelyroastedtighnari, 😋 anon, veni, 🐠 anon, my mom exiled and hoo my brain is seriously a mess rn i can't type properly but i swear yall mean everything to me it's just that my aunts and uncles are all using the karaoke rn I can't hear my own thoughts but I need to write these all down before i pass out hAHAHHA (⁠ꏿ⁠﹏⁠ꏿ⁠;⁠) they're singing victims of love rn, idk if it's my heartbeat or the speaker anymore send help–

each of yall make me always look forward to waking up the next morning! Ranging from Assistant ✾ & esther anon trying to survive, brosch and their wonderful designs (i often imagine brosch and capitano just drawing designs in silent honestly, couple goals), bakery wondering how to calm dottore, 🐠 and mochi's drawings– you're all wonderful people!! Seriously still can't believe I got noticed my romanticaa and zhongrin what. I still get so nervous when interacting with both help hAHAHAH.

2022 did not feel real for many reasons, pretty sure I'm already dead and Faceless!Ayato buried me somewhere. Y'all are fun af. 🌠 anon idk how you're doing, but shoutout to you too for somehow reading my first diluc fic and going "yeah might as well see where this writer's career will lead". I wonder how many of yall are in the same position as them cause wtf man how are tall tolerating my idiotic writings hAHAHAHHA

((Just wanna shoutout poptart again cause mom idk what I'm gonna do with that 4 dollar tip 😭))

🐠, exiled and veni were my real highlight for OCMC. The alhaitham slanders– the betrayal– lmao i was just cackling like the gremlin that i am when I read exiled's ask after the last chapter I uploaded lmao. And signora-fanboy's reblog tags were funny too lol

It was fun cooping with exiled!!! It was fun reblogging jokes with zhongrin (and making me brainrot mafia!dain dhshdjwj)!!! I was so happy T^T!!!

And this december i get to talk to riabef and watatsumii too and they're both wholesome and lowkey/highkey chaotic i love you both! Where the heck am I even going with this message my braincells are not working BUT yeah my point is that it's so awesome that even as the year's about to end I still end up meeting new blessings in life 😭😭😭

I'll just shorten this part: I used to be a major loner. It's just that since my elementary days I've just come to expect a pattern that I'm friends with someone for a year until they move out of the country. It's like I was cursed with that happening every time until I just always expect people to have an expiration date lmao. Hence, I just wanna thank my irl friends Purple and Orange Friend/a-dose-of-phitre for being my longest best friends. They gave me confidence and no I'm not crying rn shut up. Idk why yall stuck with me. Wait no I do know the answer it's cause you both want someone to bully 😭 but to bully me for 6 and now going 7 years??? Aren't you both tired???

With that in mind– i SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHY YOU GUYS ARE SO NICE TO ME 😭😭😭I PROBABLY MENTIONED THAT A LOT BUT WHY ARE YOU GUYS NICE??? I DON'T DESERVE THAT WHEN I'M WRITING YOU ANONS TO SUFFER– IDK HOW TO PAY THOSE KINDNESS BACK YALL DON'T MAKE ANOTHER "gatorade milo rice discourse" SCENARIO 😭

Man i need to stop typing my body's last hurrah is fast approaching. Can't wait to read this tomorrow and go "there are so many grammar mistakes here not even grammarly would make an attempt to understand this mess" hAHAHAHAH

Okay, okay, yeahhh

Happy new year everyone!!! I'm gonna wait like 21 more minutes and wait till the world does a factory reset for 2023. Hope yall have a wonderful year!!! Enjoy the fireworks!!! Yoimiya worked hard for those 😤

[system-of-a-feather]

(Im rambling while Im tired af at 1:33 cause my brain wont shut up about Buddhism thoughts)

Honestly, the more I heal, the more I am drawn to and understanding Buddhist principles and the more I am realizing how horrendously stressful and miserable the Western American culture is and I just sit here and find myself in a place of pity and concern knowing the general populus will likely never break free from it.

In a way, the journey I had to go through while healing put me in a position to deeply evaluate my life and what it means to exist and how I can be happy living, and in a way I am a bit thankful that I got this perspective. I really worry now that I've honestly I guess obtained a bit of a genuine Zen foundation that the usual way of operating is just... painful looking.

I dunno I'm in Buddhist brain Riku rn cause I realized where Im likely moving is somewhat near a Buddhist temple and I'm mentally 👀👀👀

But whenever I engage in contemplation over Buddhist concepts I always just think about how a lot of people live and spend most of their life living and I just... it sounds so painful to be caught in the turbulence of well, the shit capitalism, individualism, and just white puritanical concepts.

[delicris]

hi cris!!!!

how have you been??

i died for the entirety of yesterday because i've been tired af lately, but just like tired of everything in general, nothing's working in my favour, things are constantly piling up and it's been a stressful september yk...

but i'm hanging in there, idk how active i'll be apart from a few reblogs and queued posts here and there because i simply don't have the social capacity to handle anything more than myself rn

i just got off a short call with my friend and even that left me feeling completely drained, so yeah, this is how it is now and how it will be for a little longer, i hope i'll be able to get back to some sense of normalcy soon

[haleigh-sloth]

Writing in new chapters is sure... interesting...

Ngl I actually forgot that Deku and Shiggy are supposed to be improtant because of how they weren't really doing anything.

But what bothers me is that weird decidion to make Tokoyami the one who broke Afo's mask and Enji the one who wants to kill Afo. I mean yeah I like them and I'm exited to see cool endeavor vs afo fight but like... why them? We all know who will finish off afo so what's the point of hyping up endeavor's role in this fight? Same with tokoyami. Like I always knew that Hori loves endeavor but rn it's weird af. And it will suck even more if enji, hawks, tokoyami and jiro, that were beating afo's ass, will suddenly lose because deku will finally get his ass in the location or sth. Makes me question what is the point of shiggy and deku even being there if other characters get monents that imo would fit shigdeku duo better

Yeah. Don't get me wrong I still think Shigaraki and Deku are tag teaming taking down AFO. I think they have some good moments to come, but yeah. I've voiced complaints today, and some of those have changed and some haven't.

So the pathway my frustration took was:

Upset with the Endeavor stuff because it seemed to completely miss the point of his character--->Not really upset with it anymore after the translation because it hit the nail on the head, but the last line still bothers me--->The Endeavor stuff is probably fine and will be expanded on later, and now my main complaint is this completely pointless fight.

I'm fine with what happened on the Todoroki front, it's fine. Or rather I think it'll be fine, because this was supposed to be important for Endeavor and I'm not of the mind that he's completely done either, though I'm kinda tired of waiting on him and would rather him be joined up with his sons, like develop that front pls. But whatever, everything there is fine in my book.

My real issue is----AFO IS NOT ENDEAVOR'S VILLAIN.

Like yes it makes practical sense for them to be matched up at first. But dragging it on this way is exhausting. There is nothing satisfying to be gained from Endeavor fighting AFO, nothing. And we all know he isn't gonna get defeated by Endeavor. Imo AFO should have dipped by now to go to his "other self" as he said he needed to do, or hit the power-up button already so something worthwhile came from this fight by this point. I've been a bit negative today and I don't wanna be, but I'll indulge a little more and say Jirou and Tokoyami taking up chapter space is.....annoying at best. I'm sorry but for me it was. I'd say otherwise maybe if anything resulted on the Hawks front, but even THERE nothing significant has happened.

So really my complaint is just---can we pick up the pace? Or focus on something else? I feel like dedicated two chapters to breaking AFO's mask is ridiculous, because AFO is also extremely flat and boring. And throwing in a power up or a change on his front would have made this chapter better. But instead we broke his mask a second time. And I have no reason to believe it's actually gonna have any lasting positive effects, and will in fact not even matter later. So, yay!

Anyway, this is complaints built up since chapter 352. Not just this chapter. Last chapter imo was boring as hell too. And the frustration is probably from having to wait so long from the breaks (which the author needs, I'm not saying he doesn't), but I think it's a patience issue on my end more than anything.

I'd like to go back to feeling good about the chapters next week now that I kinda got this out of my system lolol. I wish there were more things to analyze and theorize about rn, but it's kinda just flat for now. Hopefully it picks the pace up soon!

[zhongliologist]

Kinda only following genshin for its story and cute husbands but since they've started going off course from the main story after v1.1 I've kinda lost interest to play since it takes more time and effort to grind than honkai impact and burns 20% of my phone batt in like 1 hr. Diluc still hasn't come home. Also the ep music isn't as cool as the honkai storyline releases. Also also guns girls z ain't a bad prelude to honkai storyline. Also also also I'm brain dead and lonely hrjdjfjdkks unrelated but the boy robins (dc comics) r cute af when they're not trying to kill each other (canon)

Well, if you got bored, it's ok to leave genshin lmaooo i cant stop you if you feel that way. And I admit i often just go through the daily comms in genshin and then play honkai bc honkai has tangible goals you can reach for gem rewards. (But i got sick of it lately bc grrr no HOS yet so im tired of doing my best earning gems))

But rn im getting back in genshin bc i have a goal (i.e. Eula) so I'm getting artifacts and ascencion mats sksksks

If you don't reqlly have a purpose in genshin, it's fine to just leave for now and get back if you want something.

[hongism]

Hello caly/calypso/hongism/author of one of the best (of THE best, perhaps?) Ateez fanfics to grace the internet! This is gonna be long af dream stuff but

It is I, the poly of the roly, here to tell you:

Last night or sometime recently (it's hard for me to keep track of the days because I work 12 hour shifts overnight) I'd checked your blog as I do every couple days to a week depending how busy I am and saw the ask that was about the moc update and you were all sure let me put my life on hold real quick no BIG ! (BTW I haven't checked yet but if you've still got all that work ahead of you I hope you're taking GOOD care of yourself and getting plenty of rest 😤 and I will send good vibes to wherever you are so if you find random money or a stranger buys you a sandwich or something then I'll pretend it's because my vibes so good vibes so strong) so anyway I had seen that right after I got home from work and then passed right out so in my dream you ended up uploading the next chapter because a bunch of people had been hounding for an update and you were v v upset and didn't want to answer any asks understandably but THEN. then. Moc got turned into a TV show and it was fuckin COOL caly, way cooler than I'd ever imagined. And then because dream things it shifted from me watching it as a TV show to it being the reality i was in and at first I was y/n until I was like wait but I'm not a girl and then y/n was you (kind of, she was called Calypso, Caly for short and I don't really remember what she looked like besides brown hair which is what I've always pictured y/n with so she was you? But like your online persona I guess lol) and we were preparing to go rescue San and there was a LOT of tension between y/n and Seonghwa (also when my dream supplied you as y/n I remember thinking like o shit now we're gonna get a LOT of tension between her and joong lmao). I don't really remember what my story was like how I ended up there, I think I was just enlisted randomly for help like someone knew of my status and sought me out? But originally I was pretending to be a spectre when I was actually a normie who was very good at rogue-esque shit. Jongho was my first friend because y/n wouldn't talk to me cause I guess I was a lil too sus for her. Later Yunho and I became friends through constantly making faces at each like we were on the office whenever anything awkward happened between seonghwa and y/n trying to skirt around each other (I think seonghwa and hongjoong were together....? I don't remember!) and eventually there was some *other* stuff between Yunho and I at WHICH POINT. IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT I WAS APPARENTLY A SIREN BUT HAD LITERALLU NO MEMORY OF IT BEVAUSE *serum thingz* AND had no access to the dreamscape or didn't realize I was there when dreaming once again I do not remember. But basically it's my dream so it had to make me special lmfao also I don't remember anything about the actual mission but we got San back and there was a really cute reunion with him and all the crew but ALSO a very long awaited SMOOCH between San and y/n with hands squeezing each other's faces as if to make sure they'll never disappear again it was so cute. And then I realized I had a lot of shit to work out since I had a whole life I needed to figure out so once it was all over, I left without much of a goodbye and it stopped showing it from my pov and more like I was watching it like a show again and so for a few episodes of the moc TV show yunho had a short lived but very fiery romance with a normie-pretend-spectre-actually-siren who slipped quietly off the ship with little more than a pat on Yunhos shoulder v.v thank you for reading my dream fanfiction moc TV show sorry it was so long and BASICALLY WENT NOWHERE

-- rolypoly (also I forgot to mention but in my dream when I saw that you'd updated because you were tired of people bothering you about an update I was very bummed for you and didn't even read it. But I did watch the TV show. Although I didn't really have a choice because my eyes were basically a camera at that point. Dream stuff fun stuff)

BESTIE THIS WAS A WHOLE TRIP AND A HALF?!?!? ngl im pretty tipsy rn so it's even more of a trip than the first time i read it goodness im in love with this concept tho like yunho deserves it moc needs more drama as we all know it doesn't have NEARLY enough drama as it is!??! altho i must say,,,,,, an ? a ? for some reason saying a moc outloud sounds really wrong but anyways that's not even important at all just a tv show after moc would be so fun i would watch it i would love it i love that idea but don't you worry im not posting that chapter until i'm happy with it, so sadly that means everyone has to wait a little while longer for it to be up to my standards 😔💔

[im-a-goddamn-cat]

idk what i wanna say rn, i'm just. crying. bc i'm a failure at literally everything. irl friendships, relationships, college, jobs, etc. everything.

haven't had a friend group irl since i was like, 10-12 y/o. (at least i have friends online now) haven't ever been in a relationship/dated, kissed/had sex, etc. yet. i did only one semester of college (which i didn't do too great in imo) and now i'm going to drop out and just get a full time job. speaking of jobs, i've only ever had one but i barely worked at it bc i got hired in december 2019 and they closed bc of covid in march 2020 and still haven't opened back up yet. i've just been sitting on my ass collecting unemployment money since then.

also i am just. not so great myself. i'm an ugly, boring, socially awkward person. idk how to function properly in social settings irl (sometimes online too) no matter what they are. and there are things i'd like to do (not just talking about social things here, also other things), but i constantly hold myself back and idk why. (actually, i think i do know why, but idk how to stop it)

and like. ik a lot of these things i worry about are not that big a deal but like, i feel like a lot of ppl will judge me for these things. ik i shouldn't let how other ppl might see me get to me but it's hard for me not to. i also just feel like i'm missing out on like... everything. some things more than others.

idk, i'm constantly whining about this shit, sorry. also i feel like there was something else i needed to say or word something different, but i'm tired af rn so. yeah

[punkscowardschampions]

Hathor & Sekhmet

Hathor: About to slap myself so you'll feel it Hathor: wherever you are ain't where you should be Sekhmet: what im sleep Sekhmet: 😴😴😴 Hathor: wake up 👊🏽 Hathor: you asked me to meet you, remember? Sekhmet: I think that's tomorrow Sekhmet: I said Wednesday, right Hathor: That's today Hathor: you blackout past Tuesday? Sekhmet: You're joking Sekhmet: well then, that means I've got a deadline I gotta meet and not a whole lot of time for brunch dates Hathor: you're joking Hathor: I cancelled on a fine boy for you Sekhmet: it's so early you got time to hit it back Sekhmet: I know I didn't tell you I'd meet you at the crack of dawn Hathor: you didn't and you're late af still Sekhmet: chill sis, I'll make it up to you Hathor: yeah Hathor: anyone else'd be offended you don't ever want to have a sober conversation Hathor: but I'll see you in the club Sekhmet: girl, chill 😂 Sekhmet: how fine was he that you're all kinds of vexed with me Sekhmet: don't even care how I'm gonna make it up to you, oh my days 🥴🍆🧠 for real Hathor: he's got prospects, I'm not saying any more than that if you're not coming out 👅 Hathor: I'll care how you're gonna make it up when you next show up for real Sekhmet: ugh! living up to your name 🐮 Sekhmet: bitch I'm busy 😏 the juggle is real Hathor: you know I don't say that shit lightly except once in a blue moon, however fine a lad be looking Hathor: but if you don't wanna hear it Sekhmet: is he 🧑🏾🧑🏿 Hathor: 🥛 Hathor: nobody is more surprised than me Sekhmet: 👏🙌 yay Sekhmet: I told you, white boys are the best Sekhmet: they treat us like 👸 Hathor: It's his Irish accent tricking me Hathor: I gotta take a trip back and cure myself Sekhmet: awh, you're homesick, precious Sekhmet: now it makes sense why you wanna tie me down Hathor: can barely understand him he's from so far north, more likely that Sekhmet: throwback 📟 📠 📺 📻 Hathor: get the psych dept to pull their shrink shit on me about it Sekhmet: You wanna be just like Vee, sorted Sekhmet: take my PhD now 💁 Hathor: be more disrespectful! first you stand me up and then put that out there Sekhmet: 🤭 you've got a ways to go, even if you're rolling mad extra today Hathor: I didn't ask 👼🏽💘 to 🎯 me up in the 🍑 Hathor: got my own things I'm busy with Sekhmet: love is magic 💖 Sekhmet: don't be complaining in my inbox when I'm tragically single Hathor: I've been serving and swerving him for long enough I thought I'd succeeded, there's the complaint Sekhmet: 🙄 you can't ❌ feelings bitch Hathor: white boys are a different animal, I ❌ the fear of Sekhmet: 😍😍😍 Hathor: I'm not here to be treated like a 👸🏽 if that's one step away from being called 'exotic' Hathor: there's nothing sexy about a power imbalance Sekhmet: most girls would disagree, babe Sekhmet: why do you wanna be run of the mill every day when we been #blessed with this 🔥 Sekhmet: all black guys wanna chat about is my light-skin privilege and their black man struggles, I can't 🥱 Hathor: fetishization like that ain't foreplay I'm interested in Hathor: 👑 me for other reasons than my melanin Sekhmet: insecurities SNAPPED, I'm sure he likes you for more than your skin, you crazy Hathor: he likes me for how I pour measures rn Sekhmet: racial Sekhmet: that's why everyone likes you 💃💃💃 Hathor: on account of being a poor student not Northern Irish, don't be biting the hand that feeds your blackouts Sekhmet: my white boys always pay Hathor: #blessed innit Sekhmet: 👸😇 tings Hathor: which white boy you with ignoring your deadline then? Sekhmet: whoever it is they've gone to work Sekhmet: but they left a 💳 with their cute note so I know I'm in a good postcode still 🙏 Hathor: so come meet me and spare mine, that's the right thing to do Sekhmet: just 'cos it's good doesn't mean I'm not lost still, damn Sekhmet: hold on and let me get dressed and get my bearings Hathor: if your phone ain't drained I can use it to get your bearings while you serve a look Sekhmet: who doesn't have a charger in their hoe 👜 PLEASE Hathor: you didn't know what day it was, can't blame me for 👶🏽ing Sekhmet: where would I be without you 😘 Sekhmet: mum hasn't phoned me in ages actually, it's so rude Sekhmet: I missed the last few but still Hathor: I hit her with your highlights, creatively Hathor: like how I won't mention a white boy making me feel like a baby 🐮 that can't walk Sekhmet: 😶😶 Sekhmet: dad would 😥 Hathor: and she'll 🙌🏽 harder than you've done Sekhmet: facts are facts Sekhmet: look at her dad, Vee's... Hathor: cliches are tired and stereotypes are damaging Sekhmet: @ your white boy with the 👋 then booboo Sekhmet: I think dad's in town working today, you wanna come for dinner with us? 🥂 Hathor: he's not mine to command in or out 👅 Hathor: yeah 🍾 will help Sekhmet: I'll teach you Hathor: those twin stereotypes are damaging too, like Sekhmet: oh hush, I only tried to 💋 you ONE time and we were like babies and that boy was the first great love of my life Sekhmet: anyway, you're like hot but not my types type these days, you know Hathor: that boy was trash Hathor: you levelled up fast though Sekhmet: awh, don't be rude, I have fond memories Hathor: I have loads of him trying to ask me out at the same time Sekhmet: oh yeah Sekhmet: I forgot that happened Sekhmet: his hair was gorgeous though Hathor: it was Sekhmet: good times Sekhmet: my new guy, not this one, the actual one, looks like old school Leo, I SWEAR Hathor: Yeah? Sekhmet: like Leo and a bit of River and Ryan Philippe in Cruel Intentions Sekhmet: 🥰🥰🥰 Hathor: love of your life material Sekhmet: definitely Sekhmet: he's a trader in the city and his apartment is 😱😱😱 Hathor: what's the age range this time? Sekhmet: he's only 26, it's mad how successful he is already Hathor: he sounds like the full 🎟 Hathor: any catch? Sekhmet: only technically Hathor: technically he's a 🤖? Sekhmet: ha, he totally has the stamina of one Sekhmet: he can keep up with me, almost 😉 Hathor: 👌🏽 he's perfect Hathor: fucking hell Sekhmet: no need to be jealous when you're 🥰 yourself Sekhmet: what does he look like? Hathor: Tall enough Hathor: more like a 🥊 than a 👼🏻 Sekhmet: you really do wanna do great grandpa Sekhmet: jk, he sounds so you Hathor: he does work for the main brewery that supplies us, maybe I do Hathor: Jesus Christ Sekhmet: 😂😬 processing that Sekhmet: not really though, every boy I've ever dated has been like dad, it's unavoidable tbh 💁 Hathor: in our postcode nobody's trying very hard to be anything else Hathor: 💰💳💎🍾 Sekhmet: why would they? Hathor: they wouldn't and they aren't, it'd be terrifying for any of those boys to step out Sekhmet: 🙄 you aren't going to throw yourself down a ladder when you're at the top, babe Hathor: wouldn't kill them to give other people a hand up though, they just act like it Sekhmet: 🥱 when's your deadline? Hathor: my work's done Sekhmet: then button it, loser Sekhmet: you wanna eat out on this nice rich boy's 💳 Hathor: ETA of 15 on getting to you Hathor: you best 🚿 Sekhmet: way ahead of you 🛀 Sekhmet: door's unlocked, our breakfast will hopefully be on the table when you get here Sekhmet: love ubereats Hathor: 🙌🏽 Sekhmet: you can bring it through, the view in this bathroom is immense Sekhmet: thought getting the driver to bring it to the tub was unlikely Hathor: he probably would but it's unlikely I'd recover from walking in on it Sekhmet: 😘 Sekhmet: do fuck with an asian boy Hathor: you don't know he will be Hathor: might not even be a lad Hathor: but if it is, guarantee they'll send the most unexpected one Sekhmet: it usually is, your stereotypes be damned Hathor: what are you gonna bet? Sekhmet: the Belgian 🧇s Hathor: you're on Sekhmet: sometimes you shock me with how green you are, Hath Hathor: back to putting disrespect on me, what a nice truce while it lasted, like Sekhmet: I mean, you know I can see the driver on my app, babe Sekhmet: no points for guessing where Hassan is from Sekhmet: you can have the 🧇s anyway Hathor: you know I can read your thoughts, the playing field is level Hathor: and anyway I like green, that's my boy's eye colour Sekhmet: been gazing into them longingly across the bar have we🤭 Hathor: maybe Sekhmet: so cute Sekhmet: hope this one doesn't have a fiancee Sekhmet: or a maid who thinks we've broken in Hathor: if he does he better break that eye contact with me Sekhmet: I meant Mr Black Card, don't worry Sekhmet: he's a student, yeah? he won't be Hathor: he's only got a year on us, I don't predict an engagement Sekhmet: yeah, doubt it Hathor: outside of our family people aren't usually that extra Sekhmet: some of the asian internationals are but they usually cheat if their intended ain't here yet so Hathor: Yeah Sekhmet: what even does an engagement mean anyway Sekhmet: not much, right Hathor: a flash 💍 Hathor: what's my course teaching me if I don't know the statistics on how often a wedding follows? Hathor: shows how outdated it is Sekhmet: he gives me that anyway Hathor: I'd take a phone number and be happy with it for now Hathor: but it's probably the party and that whole flex too, right? Sekhmet: the dress Sekhmet: but it's irrelevant if it doesn't happen, like you said Hathor: 🎁🎁 even if it doesn't if people bring them for the engagement as well, but you're not going short of any Sekhmet: right Sekhmet: 😥 if you need a wedding for attention Hathor: Jay's birth mum QUAKING Sekhmet: omg I bet that's EXACTLY what his fiancee is like Hathor: does he ever speak about her? Sekhmet: obviously not Sekhmet: but she must never come up from wherever they're from because I'm like ALWAYS over so Hathor: maybe she doesn't know about this place Hathor: old school Sekhmet: Who knows Sekhmet: can't be my problem Hathor: Yours is the day you've missed, like Hathor: what's the assignment? Sekhmet: design some sportswear line Sekhmet: got to get the sketches in by 5, but all I ordered for me was a shit ton of coffee, it'll be fine Hathor: more productive if I stay or go? Sekhmet: you've already missed your date, you may as well stay Hathor: okay Hathor: am the sportier one Sekhmet: how are you 😂 Hathor: ⚽⛹🏽🚴🏽🥊 Hathor: why dad loves me more than you Sekhmet: now I know you're talking nonsense 😏 Hathor: True, he loves Vee and she never gets off her chaise Sekhmet: and she doesn't even love him back Hathor: poor dad Sekhmet: yeah Hathor: what time's dinner with him? Sekhmet: I'll ask him when he wants to go Hathor: about to come up, so whatever you were planning for Hassan, this is me Sekhmet: regrettably noted

[longsleevs]

Movie Nigth

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warning: language i guess, cute af maybe way to cheese in some parts :)

A/N: This idea came to my mind like 2 weeks ago, like at 3 am when i couldn't sleep. I hope you guys like it! Xx

Summary: Movie night with the Holland's every Friday, a tradition for the last 5 years, since today something more was added to the tradition and to your life

I just arrived to the Holland's house, my second home...

I got out of the uber and i saw Harry sitting outside, on the stairs "Hello, Harold" i said while i walked closer to him "Hi Y/N" he said as he standed up "I though that you couldn't come" he said as we walked inside the house "But you waited for me at the stairs like always" i said when i felt a cute little redhead hug me "Y/N!" He said with a huge smile "I missed you Pad" i said while hugging him back "i saw you last week dump ass" i just laughed and smiled "but i didn't saw you all the times that i came over this week!"

Trying to know if Tom was back

Suddenly i heard a noise coming out of the kitchen, then i saw that body, i just runned towards him "Tom!" I said as I runned to his arms "I though that you would be back next week!" He looked at me and said "Surpriseeee!!" I hugged him tighter and he gave me a soft kiss "we are here!" Paddy shouted, and we broke the kiss and laughed

Some day he will stop doing that

"I missed you, love. More than anything and anyone" i looked up at him, and laughed "Yeah, and i will belive that you missed me more than your princess Tessa" i said when suddenly Tessa came out of the kitchen "Ohhhh! I did not saw that coming" me neither kid Harry said and i laughed "If you don't want to belive me..." Tom said as he went next to Tessa "Whatever you say Thomas! Were are your parents and Sam??" I asked, looking at the guys in front of me "Mom and Dad went for the food, Sam went to pick up his gf" Paddy said exited

I know that this kid is exited about the food, but i don't care

I looked at him and laughed "Ohh! I see! Now you like her more than me!? Okay Patrick... now you can go to hell and your birthday gift too!" i said as i turned and hugged Tom, acting like if i was crying it looked so fake but anyway "1. You will always be my favorite, just don't tell Sam that 2. Patrick!? I told you that i am Paddy! 3. A gift? Can i get it!? and 4. I know that you aren't crying" he said, and we all laughed "Yep, but i didn't bought it, sorry :(" i said and he looked mad at me "You liar!" He said when he realised that there was no gift and started running me around the house

I love this kidd, can my kids be like him??

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We just watched the first movie, it was 'Me before you' in case you want to know today the girls choose the movie, and right now we are looking for the second one "This one" Elysia said *elysia is sam"s gf irl* Nikky looked at me saying like hate that movie and i said "Nop, other one" Nikky smiled at me thanks

I could hear Tom and Dom laughing in the back and Sam saying "Can they stop bullying her"

You know that we love her kidd!

I wanted to laugh so baldy of what was happening behind us but they couldn't realise that i hearing "This one!" Nikky said, i laughed and said "Really!? Again!?" I saw the way that Elysia looked at me, like saying don't reply to her like that or you will be in trouble "C'mon Y/N! Your bf is in the movie, correction both of your boyfriends are in the movie and Harry" i turned to the guys as said "The impossible for the million time guys??" They all laughed at looked at Nikky "Mom, we always see the same movie... can we wach other thing please??" Harry said as Paddy jumped and said "And i don't like the fact thay I'm not in the movie, and my brothers are! I'm actually tired of seeing their faces!" Nikky opened his eyes, really big "Patrick Holland! Don't talk like that!"

We know that he is joking

"And ok guys... other movie will be" everybody was happy and Nikki just rolled her eyes "Thank you so much, i love you, i was already done with that movie, and don't forget that I'm in it! I own you one, no! We all own you one! You the best!" Tom said as he jumped out of the sofa, came closer to me and pick me up un his arms, like in the just married way, and gave a really cute and soft kiss "Stop!!" Paddy said

See! He always does that!

We laughed at the youngest person in the room "Let them Paddy, they are so cutee!" Nikki said and Tom put me down on the floor and said "Mother!" I laughed "Then stop being cute, if you don't want me to talk like that"

I stand, and love the best mother ever

Tom sat next to me on the floor, with his head on my shoulder, playing with my hair, while we were trying to chosse the next movie

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The second movie ended, we decided to watch 'Sixteen Candles', a classic, Paddy's reaction on some part were just so damm hilarious

For nigth we usually see 2 movies, then all the guys go back to their rooms, i go with Tom, and later i go back home, while the guys have a sleepover in the living room.

Rigth now it's 11 pm.

Tom and i were cleaning the living, Paddy was changing into his pijamas, Harry washing the dishes, and Sam saying goodbye to Elysia "Do you have something to do tomorrow early??" Tom asked knowing my answer "Weekend are to sleep and eat Thomas" he laughed and just nodded.

And that's what i do on my weekends basically

Once all the guys were downstairs Sam said "Did you ask her" Tom looked up and said "Yep, she's completely free" Paddy smiled and Harry said "Who aks her??" Paddy jumped and said "Me!! Pleseee!!" I looked at all of them confused, they just nodded "Ok, Y/N... We have known you since always, at least me, for how long guys?" Paddy asked his older brothers

15 years of friendship, 10 of being like my second family, 5 of being family aka me dating Thomas

"15 years" Harry said "they have known you for 15 years, me for 14 because of obvious reasons. You had being coming to this house almost every Friday for the last 5 years, and we all were talking, and we thought that now that you are more family than before, because you are dating Tom, is the rigth moment to ask you to stay over every Friday, be part of our sleepover" Paddy said, while all the Holland guys looked at me waiting for my answer

Wait, what!?

"You guys are offering me to stay, a Friday!? Friday sleepovers are a guys thing that you have always done!" Tom hold my hand and said "Yes, love. We are telling you that you can stay, i mean you are family. And Friday sleepovers aren't a guys thing, is a family thing, we don't even know why we didn't asked you before, so here we are... Will you stay??" He asked at me while looking at my eyes

Don't to that Holland

"First i wanna know something" they looked confused at each other "What??" Sam said "It's this because Harrison isn't here??" They all looked shook "Tbh we didn't even though that, but no, because this is for now untill the day we die, with or without Harrison" Sam said, i looked to all the guys "Ofc guys! I will stay"

This sounds like such a big deal, and it is, it isn't something stupid. This isn't the fist time that i sleepover in this house, but on Friday, Never! How many time i wanted to have a date with Tom, or celebrate an anniversary, and we couldn't because it was FRIDAY. This is like the moment when they are all together, something that almost never happenes lately, that's why this is so important, and why i was so shocked

I went upstairs with Tom, to his room, once i was i laid on his bed next to him "Can you give some clothes, Tommy??" He came closer and kissed me, for the first time in the day it wasn't a soft kiss, i was a really passionate kiss, suddenly he broke it "What the hell?" I said confused "I have to give you some clothes, and that's hard" i was confused "why?? You can give that hoodie and i would be happy with that" he looked at me with a cute smile and said "I know that, love. But rn it isn't just us, there will be my siblings" he said with a smile and turned back to his closet

You little trash, i love you

He gave me hoodie and some sweet pants, i changed, waited for him to change and them we went downstairs, finding what i always see, the living with mattresses waiting for people to sleep there, jumped in on the mattress, scaring Paddy "Can you please never do that AGAIN!?" He said turning all red, so cuteeee "Okay padster, but just bc I'm your fav" i said and Tom in the back laughed

I love this family sow much

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"I wanna know something, something that I've always wanted to know" Paddy said while eating his ice cream "Ask" Sam said whit his mouth full of ice cream "How dis you guys meet??" I reased my eyebrow "Well I meet Sam on mom's belly, and Tom once we came out of your mother belly" Harry said with a proud smile, idiot, "Mmm you know what i mean!" Paddy yelled "Well, we meet Y/N thanks to 4 year old Harry, the idiot broke her candy, and 6 year old Y/N got kinda mad" Tom said and i laughed remembering the day "Yep, i got so mad with Harry that went close to Nikki and to tell her that i needed a new candy or something like that" all of us were laughing remembering that "After that, whenever we when to that park, we found her, later we realised that Tom and her went to the same school and that's how the friendship started" Sam ended the story

Yep, i hated this kids since 2003 :)

"And that's the story of how i stated hating Harry!" I said whith a smile "And that's the moment when i felt for her" Tom said holding my hand and rubbing it "Liar! You always say that was when mom passed away, and until my grandma was back i lived here for like 3 moths. And thay was 10 years ago no 15!" I said acting like offended.

I really don't care about my mom, i mean, i miss her, she was my mom, but she was a bich so...

"Ohh! Yeah! Confused dates!" We said while playing with Tessa "Idiot" Harry said "Talks" Tom said, Paddy, Sam and I were waiting for the 'fight' "Shut up, and thank me!" Tom opened his eyes big "Why should i thank you??" Harry laughed "because without me, there would have never existed a you and Y/N" Harry said. Good point Harold. "Yeah... you are rigth" Tom said

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"What time is it?" Sam asked "4:50" Tom replied "Let's go then!" Paddy said, as he jumped out and went to the backyard. I looked at the guys confused "Wanna watch the sunrise, love?" Tom said giving me a hand to stand up.

We were outside, Harry took his camera and started tooking photos, telling Sam and Paddy what to do, while i was stand behind them, holding hands with sponge bob aka Tom

This is so beautiful

"You are prettier" I looked confused at Tom "i didn't said anything" he smiled "but your face talks by itself" he said while putting his arms around me "Harry! Took some picture of us!" He said while holding my hand and running.

I love you

He stared running around the garden, idk how or when he made a move and pull me into his arms, like the just married pose, just like he did it the kitchen "I want you to be mine forever" he whispered on my ear.

Me too...

He put me back in the ground, and gave a kiss on my forehead, i turned and saw Sam, Paddy next to each other, looking at us exited, Harry was whith his camera, looking at us. I tuned back to Tom and saw him sat in one leg, with a little box in his had, tears started falling, happy tears ofc "Hi" he said with cute smile "I know that you are only 21 and I'm just 22, that we are really young for this, but i don't care, i don't care anymore... Y/N i have known your for 15 years, i have loved you for 10 years and we have being officially dating for 5 years, i guess that the 5 is our lucky number" i just laughed at him "Y/N, you are the most amazing person in this world, and i love you more than anything and anyone, i can't belive that I'm doing this... Y/N Y/LN would you make me the happiest man on earth with just a simple word"

Yes

"Would you marry me??" He said and all i did was fell on the floor and nod, i looked up at him and he was crying to "Hell yes!! Tom!!" I said and we just hugged "I love you idiot" i said and a little laugh came out of his mouth

Yes, Tom. Yes, no matter what

"I'm officially the happiest man alive" he said with his arms around me, looking at thd guys "Congrats" the 3 guys while running and we all hugged "I'm so proud of my big baby!" I hars Nikki said, Tom pointed to the house, Nikki and Dom where looking at us trough the window "Now you will be mine forever" he said and gave me kiss

I love this man so damm much

Materlist

A/N: Hi sunflowers!🌻 Hope you guys like this one! OMG! You are getting married with Tom! I wish... btw 'that damm smile' won't be updated today! Xx

Part 2 my darling??

[wheresmulder]

I got an anon the other day asking me for my opinion on the depp/heard case and I just ignored the message bc I didn't feel like having that discussion but honestly I wanna talk about something personal regarding my past experience with abuse so you'll understand why I haven't responded to your question, and what biases I hold on the subject

Tw every kind of abuse tw drugs etc

Tldr; my opinion is biased, personal, complicated, and should not matter to anyone in the slightest

He was seriously mentally ill, diagnosed bipolar/depression or smthn I'm not sure,, but only bc he was able to manipulate the doctors (and bragged about it later) into diagnosing him with something that would get them to give him the drugs he wanted (xanax) so he could snort the entire bottle along with a months worth of vicodin in the span of a few days. For the periods of time he was drugged up he mostly slept. And once he was out of drugs he'd wake up pissed and take it out on us. That was his cycle. He would come into my room and torture me in whatever way he felt like at the time. Accuse me of stealing his money, keys, phone, drugs, food, anything just to have a reason to scream at me or make me take my clothes off so he could beat me with his leather belt/buckle. Or hit the bottoms of my feet with a hammer, so no one would see any bruises on me at school. He would starve us, keep us awake all night, and then make us run laps around the property until we collapsed. He called us fat stupid and lazy the whole time, among other more disgusting things.

My dad beat me severely from the age of 8 to 17 (when he died). He also abused me verbally, emotionally, psychologically and sexually. My therapist called what he did to me "torture". He did the same thing to my little sister and my mom to a lesser degree.

He was also the most manipulative person I've ever met but I saw through every lie he ever told. To his mom, to my mom, to his friends, to my friends and their parents, to strangers, doctors, cops, every person he ever met. He always got his way. Tricked ppl into thinking it was their way.

When I turned 14 I started fighting back. I had a mouth by then and I was tired of living in fear of him. I was also suicidal and I wanted to die protecting my mom and sister. So the beatings became all out brawls. He would hit me with anything he could grab and I would do the same. A desk chair. Computer monitor. He literally chased me with an axe once but I ran away from home, by that time I had a gf that lived in the neighborhood I could escape to her house when it got bad. When I came back the next day the axe was stuck in the tv and he was gone for the time being. He threw a machete at me (it was dull af but left a giant bruise on my leg). I broke a hotsauce bottle on his head. He almost choked me to death against a wall but my gf hit him in the back of the head with my skateboard. He let go of me and turned to her and I literally saw red and don't remember what happened. When I became aware again we where in the front yard and he wasn't unconscious but like dazed I guess. My gf said I went berserk I jumped on him beating him in the head and like dragged him to the door and threw him out down the stairs. He called his mom to come get him and I didn't see him for a few days which was normal. Those were all separate incidents and there were literally countless others I can't think of rn and don't care to.

He told us if we ever called dcf or the police he would burn our house down and he was not lying. He eventually died of a heart attack my senior year of high school.

To his mom and sister (my only other family bc he wouldn't let us see my mom's side) I was the problem child. I was disobedient and deserved whatever punishment I got and should be grateful it wasn't worse. My mom was the only one in our house that worked so she was never there. No one was there to see how everything really went down, that he instigated every interaction between us and I hid from him in my room 24/7 unless I was protecting my little sister.

So if you want my opinion on this trial you have to understand that I'm coming into this HEAVILY BIASED. Yes I have seen quite a bit of the trial bc my sister is super into it, she finds it cathartic. And shes been watching it on the TV in our living room so I've seen a lot but not nowhere near all of it.

From what I have seen it's incredibly obvious to me who the aggressor is. I say aggressor and not abuser bc idk how I feel about that word in this context.

I absolutely assaulted my father. Almost every day for 4 years. But it was in self defense or in defense of another. But you might say some of it was just retaliation? Where is the line? Does that make me an abuser? I dont believe so but I'm not a lawyer. If it's just a question for couples, if he and my mom went to court how could they prove that she never hit him unprovoked? If she admitted to hitting him would that be enough to charge HER with domestic violence?

Idk if I was an abuser but I can tell you that I most certainly was NOT the aggressor.

And when I look at amber heard I see my father reincarnated. If DARVO was a person. Everything down to her microexpressions. I haven't seen the whole trial because watching her testify or even just watching her reacting to other testimony drives me up a fucking wall. Her smirks. Her tone of voice. It's fucking UNCANNY. I agree with Dr curry's diagnoses of her. I have seen her commit perjury like 4 different times. It's been said in court that ah co-opted her sa story from another woman, what the literal fuck. The audio recordings. The lack of photos of her allegedly *broken noses* that she never went to the doctor for?????and covered up with makeup?????? He wears big ass fucking rings like brass knuckles and she's supposed to be covering this shit with make-up and there are no photos. Her face would have been a bloody. Fucking. pulp.

If johnny ever did hit her back I couldn't even blame him, bc that would make me a hypocrite. And I can't say that I 100% believe he never did, bc honestly when you live with someone like that it becomes an impossible situation. Even the most docile ppl have their breaking points. We're human beings. But I do believe amber would have taken believable photos of her injuries if she ever had any, but I haven't seen one that didn't look fake. And in complete contrast to ah, Jd seems docile and the type to run from confrontation. And i don't believe johnny depp is that good of an actor. Neither of them are. I'm not saying he should win his case against her bc its a weird burden of proof thing like it's a defamation case. But I think most everyone who's been following it believes his case over hers. And for me it has nothing to do with gender idgaf I know a lot of ppl on this app would call me a misogynist for not "Believing all women" but I can't help what conclusions I come to from the evidence in front of me.

My abuser was a man and he acted EXACTLY like amber heard has in court whenever he was confronted with his own actions. Johnny depp admits to the drugs, name calling etc freely and amber has admitted to NOTHING that would hurt her public image.

If either had stood up and said yes they hit me and sometimes I retaliated I would believe it. But the one who admits to nothing is probably fucking lying imo

All I see when I look at her is DARVO DARVO DARVO. He told her he wanted a divorce and she retaliated.

Could I be COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WRONG and have it totally backwards? I'm being manipulated by depps amazing legal team? Of course that's possible, idk these ppl and I admittedly haven't seen the whole trial. When the whole thing started I went into it believing amber 100% bc I will always side with the person coming forward first. And I literally didn't know shit about either of them as people before this, didn't even know they were married, last I heard amber was a lesbian, bc I don't rly follow celebrities like that. I've done a total 180 in a month.

Does my personal story make you see me as a violent monster? Or do you think I was brave for sticking up for myself? Is that only bc it was a child/parent relationship? Or bc I'm female and my abuser was male?

As an abuse victim who fought back I cant say that violence is never acceptable, I just can't. But instigating violence for the sake of violence is abhorrent and triggering to me.

Even though in my humble opinion amber was the physical aggressor, jd was the one retreating, and they were both verbally abusive, I know that I'm biased and I can't possibly know for certain what actually went down. But I see myself in jd and I see my dad in amber. My sister and mom both say the same thing.

If my opinion makes you uncomfortable you can unfollow me if it matters that much to you, I get it, but this is the first and last thing I'll ever post on the matter. Sorry if it's not super coherent. I'm not debating my own experiences and I'm not arguing about ah/jd with anyone so don't bother xoxo

[bunnypatty]

Positivity Tag

so I was tagged by @emoslutgracie for a positivity tag and I'd never heard of it before but I think I get the gist of it and I've been sad af lately so hear goes nothing:

1. Beautiful Things by Grayscale https://youtu.be/guDW2STv9zA (slight tw for suicide it's a talk-back-from-the-ledge kinda song)

2. nilesgregoryphoto on Instagram bc he's so fucking pretty and his whole account just makes me happy

3. marching season is starting soon and it's really tiring but I love it sm

4. like a week ago I was sitting on my friends couch with her at 4 in the morning eating Kraft and blaring Waterparks from her TV and that memory is basically what's keeping me alive rn

5. I'm finally learning to keep people out of my life who impact me negatively instead of giving them endless chances and I hope I can keep it up

I think this is supposed to have more but oh well that's all I got for now thx for reading

I tag @everythingischerries @brohecking and any other mutuals that wanna do it I'm tired of typing lmao

[studypride]

Hiya. Sry to drop this load on ur shoulders; I just need someone to talk to... lol lonely af. I've been going thru a weird funk, like just feeling depressed and unmotivated and unsociable all the time. I NEED to be studying for SATs rn but I can't get myself to do it. I'm just so done... Pls help

Ahh well firstly, thanks for coming to my inbox, nony. It’s really good that you’re actively seeking help!! And this goes for all my followers: my inbox/messages are always open for anyone!! Please please stop by n say hi c:

As for your ask…Honestly, it’s that time of the year. It’s the end of the school year, all the hard work you’ve been putting in and all the tests and assignments and everything have exhausted you. It happens to every single student (and no doubt has happened to me in the past as well). Summer is so close and honestly you just want it here - I getcha.

Hooowever, and I am only saying this because you asked me to help (so I’m doing the Big Sister Voice rn), you absolute CANNOT burn out. Don’t give up right now. And when you’re feeling unmotivated and down and everything, the LAST THING you want to do is start, but that is absolutely what you should do.You sit down - even though internally you don’t want to and you’re tired and you’re grumpy and whatever else - and you do it.

I’m assuming by SATs you either mean the Subject Tests or the actual SAT. Either way, you should study. How much you study is up to you and honestly kinda depends on your classes thus far. Personally, I didn’t study outside of school for any Subject Tests because I knew my AP classes had prepared me enough for them - but my school is relatively difficult, and we did Subject Test prep in class. And while I didn’t prep by myself, I DID still take one practice test before the test date, just to get a feel for the exam.Now, that’s not you. That’s me. Maybe (and again, I dunno who you are or what your situation is) you need to study a lot. Maybe you’re taking a Subject Test of a subject you haven’t studied. I don’t know, but you really, really, really should study. These scores are AWESOME for colleges - if you do well, it looks GREAT. like really. If you get good scores, it shows that you’re more than proficient in a subject - and if that subject has to do with your major, YES. Yes. These are important.If you meant the SAT, then goodness, you better study. Again, a good score looks good. And I get it - standardized tests are dumb. They really are. They tell you absolutely nothing about a student. But that’s what colleges look at, so that’s what you’ve gotta do well on. The SAT is ridiculously important - again, it will help you so, so much if you do well. It’s important. It’s important. It’s important.

And because they’re important, you have to sit yourself down and study.

Again:You have to sit yourself down. And study. It’s straight up discipline and that’s that.

There are many resources here on Tumblr and on the internet in general for studying - lots of tips and tricks, study guides, recommendations, etc etc. Now, what I DON’T want you to do is spend a long time looking at the “how to study” stuff and the “how to organize your study space uwu” stuff. Honestly, in my mind, that’s all just more ways of procrastinating. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice, it’s helpful, but if you have Subject Tests and/or an SAT coming up, then who cares how tidy your space is. In the end, you don’t tell the colleges “but i organized really hard!!!!1!” - you tell them “I got a 2400 (or for a subject test, 800) and I’m damn proud.” Or whatever score works for you (I sure didn’t get anything near a perfect score on any of my tests haha).

I know you’re tired. You’ve studied for nine months. You have put in so much effort and time and I am so proud of you for that. Now just finish off strong, do that last push, and destroy those tests.

Good luck, nony, and I’m here if you need me! I just finished that whoooole college process so send me another ask/message if you need anything else.

~Aisa