#IM DEAD SERIOUS I STARTED AT LIKE 9 PM AND ITS FUCKING 11

[poolboyservice]

the killjoys' favorite FNAF characters + why (opinion, very long)

Party Poison likes Toy Chica and Funtime Freddy! Toy Chica because she reminds Party of themself, also she literally eats her victims (or at least it's implied she does), which Party finds badass as hell Funtime Freddy because he makes terrible jokes and Party hates the jokes so much she literally can't help but to just adore the dumbass

Jet Star likes Nightmare Fredbear and Springtrap! Nightmare Fredbear because his design is literally so gnarly, like, he's got a mouth on his stomach!!! What other FNAF character has that??? (aside Nightmare but shhhh) Springtrap because the idea that the person who is trapped in the animatronic suit is not only still alive, but also so relentless in trying to kill you, is so cool but creepy

Kobra Kid likes Monty Gator and the Mangle! Monty Gator because he relates heavily to him, they both have anger issues/a short temper, and they're often misunderstood + disliked because of that, which makes them both feel insecure about themselves. The Mangle for a likewise reason of being relatable, they're both torn to pieces (whether figuratively or literally) by their situation, and the people who once tried to help aren't there anymore, or just don't care, so they're left behind to only feel pain internally and externally. They both love themselves, but they hate themselves likewise. They're loved by others, yet they're treated like a threat. (Kobra Kid is very emotional when it comes to their interests)

Fun Ghoul likes Ennard and the Mangle! Ennard because the concept of multiple animatronics with different personalities being formed into one intrigues him a lot. Like, how would that work? Does each animatronic control a different part? Also, functionally, how would they work as an animatronic? Like, where is the core that keeps them powered? Can they see with all of their eyes, or is it just for show? So much questions unanswered.. The Mangle because what did she look like before they were broken? Why does he have 3 legs? Why is her tail that of a rounded tail if they're a fox, is their tail supposed to be like a nub? Does the Foxy head majorly control the body or does the endo head do that? Why did kids decide she was suitable as some take-apart-put-back-together toy?? If only he could figure out in person...

The Girl likes Circus Baby and Freddy Fazbear! Circus Baby because honestly, in the zones, vanilla ice cream on a cone sounds so great, anytime, even in dire situations. Also, she smells like birthday cake, and Circus Baby can dance and sing!! How cool!? Freddy Fazbear because for an underrated character, he's so mysterious and unique. Like, he's one of the only characters that don't have voicelines aside from his iconic laugh. Adding to that, he apparently just shut off power just like that, how can he do that!? Also, The Girl absolutely understands the feeling of being under the shadow of her friends and loved ones, a lot.

Dr. Death Defying likes Phone Guy and Bonnie Phone Guy because he reminds him of himself, and honestly, he finds 'em endearing. Dr. D got sad when he found out he died in the first FNAF entry. FNAF 3 phone guy is okay but it'll never be like FNAF 1 and 2 Phone Guy. Bonnie because, yeah, yeah, very cheesy, but he aspires to be a guitarist and learn the drums also. Bonnie gives Dr. D a lot of inspiration, he aspires Bonnie in a way, I suppose. Sadly, he was never able to achieve the goal of being a guitarist, at least he was able to learn and play it.

Volume likes Monty Gator and The Marionette! Monty Gator because he reminds him of Val in so many ways, a major part of why he likes Monty, also that mohawk is so fucking radical, and so are those glasses. The Marionette because while he doesn't necessarily like the fact it has a mask, he finds the animatronic's functions in the game (FNAF 2) so interesting, and the lullaby needed to keep the puppet inactive actually calms him when he's having really bad anxiety.

Vinyl likes Foxy the Fox and Scrap Baby Foxy because he understands the feeling of being alone while your friends are out and having fun, meanwhile you're just rotting in your 'safe place', if it even is safe anymore. Scrap baby because, if Vinyl had to be honest, he thinks her design is pretty cool and badass, even if it doesn't really make sense in the lore. If he were a chic he'd probably sport a style like that.

Val Velocity likes Chica and Freddy Chica because honestly, while Val likes her, he will not admit it, and while he actively says he doesn't like her, if you talk shit about her don't be surprised to get a punch straight to the nose. Freddy for similar reasons like The Girl, though he now doesn't talk about how he likes Freddy, because he's aware The Girl also likes Freddy, and he doesn't want people comparing him to her.

Blue Droid likes the Marionette and Balloon Boy Marionette because the lullaby needed to keep it inactive is oddly comforting, and sometimes she lets it play late at night Balloon Boy, not because of his mechanics or the character itself, but because she always wanted to have a child, but obviously since both Blue and her loved, Red, one are androids, she can never have that. It comforts her, I guess, but it also pains her as it gives her a constant reminder.

Red Droid likes Ballora and DJ Music Man Ballora because she reminds her of Blue in almost every way, her blue hair, her purples eyes, her gentle voice, everything. DJ Music Man because it reminds her of when she was fully capable of being able to walk around with no issue, being able to dance, sing, and just have a good time. It comforts yet makes her feel bitter. Also because DJ Music Man makes really good music, in her opinion.

Vaya likes Funtime Foxy and Roxanne Wolf Funtime Foxy because, not gonna lie, they remind Vaya of Vamos in a lot of ways. Like the pink theme, the enthusiasm to give a show, the ability to fluidly wear flashy clothes, regardless masculine or feminine. The last one is more of interpretation, but still! Roxanne Wolf because, well, she reminds them of themself. Making sure their looks are in check, constantly hyping themself, and always looking for approval. Obviously, they absolutely feel pity whenever they remember Roxanne is not only now blinded so she can't see herself, but also she's never told how she looks so she constantly feels like she's not good enough.

Vamos likes Mr. Hippo and Lolbit Mr. Hippo because he reminds them of Tommy Chow Mein, the horribly long story Mr. Hippo gives makes Vamos actually cackle like a witch everytime. Lolbit because 1. they just look cool, and 2. Lolbit reminds Vamos of Vaya. If they could, Vamos would ramble about how Lolbit is like Vamos for hours and hours on end! However, as a TL/DR: They're both chaotic, super super cool, and very tech savvy.

Korse likes Foxy Granted, he isn't necessarily all knowing about FNAF, as he has lived in Battery City majority of his life until very recently, but he finds the character cool, also it quite frankly reminds him of his dead boyfriend, which can be bittersweet sometime.

Obviously this isn't ALL of the characters but ya :33

[aju-naisu]

everybody clap your hands

(aka, seventeen’s daily interactions in the form of a Skype chat)

Chapter 1: only the best

Summary:

NAEGAHOSH: you know what fuck all of you, there’s no damn respect in this house, you can all go die

DadCoups: CONFIRMED!!

dabasaurus: i have porn

Jesus: whAT

NAEGAHOSH: ..you can live

NAEGAHOSH: for slightly longer.

Jesus: nO TAKE THAT SIN AWAY CLEANSE YOURSELVES

Warnings: swear words ; crack fic?? idk man this is just my inner thoughts written out ; religious jokes (probably be warned, it’s not intentional to offend or harm anyone in anyway)

Notes:

based on “national hot dad alliance is now calling...” by @owlinaminor​ and @dicaeopolis​

where it all begins (aka chapter 1 of emotional trash dump)

Word Count: a sad 900 words of vomit or so

May 28, 2017 1:24 PM

NAEGAHOSH created ‘the best unit in the universe’

NAEGAHOSH added Prince of China, dabasaurus, Little giant

NAEGAHOSH: welcome, everyone to the place where only the best can be

Little giant: Well then,

NAEGAHOSH has been removed from the group

dabasaurus: OOOOHHHHH BUURRRRNNED

Little giant: Now only the best are here

dabasaurus: lol

NAEGAHOSH has been added to the group

NAEGAHOSH: thanks jun

Prince of China: No problem

dabasaurus: nooooo why’d you add him back we were just starting to get into the details of the story!!!

NAEGAHOSH: whTA DID YOU SAY YOU LITTLE BASTARD

Prince of China: What story?

dabasaurus: never mind it’s ruined now >:(

4:20 PM

NAEGAHOSH: 4:20

Little giant: 4:20

dabasaurus: 4:20

4:21 PM

Prince of China: 4:20

Prince of China: Dang it

dabasaurus: lololl what a loser

6:14 PM

NAEGAHOSH: so i was thinking

NAEGAHOSH: why don’t we add the others

dabasaurus: okay everyone but seungkwan

Little giant: Whys that

dabasaurus: i thought this chat was only for the best

Little giant: oh lolol

Prine of China: Haha

NAEGAHOSH: so is that a yeah?

Little giant: hell yeah

NAEGAHOSH added sunshine rainbows ☀️🌈, DadCoups, memelord and 4 others

May 29, 2017

10:56 AM

DadCoups: What is this?

sunshine rainbows ☀️🌈: its a chat cant u c

DadCoups: Well, yeah, I can see, but, what is it for?

sunshine rainbows ☀️🌈: hm beats me

NAEGAHOSH: idk either really, it began with a chat with us performance unit and then we added you guys so

DadCoups: Ah, I see.

May 30, 2017

8:14 AM

2gud4u: u kno i’ve been meaning to ask but

2gud4u: y aren’t our little jihoonie and seungkwanie in this chat while the rest of us r?

Jesus: I don’t know, why don’t you add them?

2gud4u: good idea

NAEGAHOSH: nO

2gud4u: wait whut y

NAEGAHOSH: ji’s just gonna get mad and leave

2gud4u: i don’t think so

NAEGAHOSH added Genius Producer to the group

Genius Producer: Why am I here

Genius Producer left the group

NAEGAHOSH: i told you so

2gud4u: huh

NAEGAHOSH added Genius Producer to the group

Genius Producer: Stop

Genius Producer left the group

NAEGAHOSH added Genius Producer to the group

Genius Producer left the group

NAEGAHOSH added Genius Producer to the group

Genius Producer left the group

NAEGAHOSH added Genius Producer to the group

Genius Producer left the group

NAEGAHOSH added Genius Producer to the group

Genius Producer left the group

[cut for length]

2gud4u added Genius Producer to the group

Genius Producer: What even is this chat

NAEGAHOSH: aRe yOU seRIOus i SpENT lIKE 5 miNUTeS doInG thIS shIT AND yOu dO tHIs???!??!?

2gud4u: idk soonyoung made it

Genius Producer: Can I leave then

2gud4u: no

Genius Producer: Fine

NAEGAHOSH: what the fuck. this is unjust, this is discrimination, why am i being hated

Little giant: I like you soonyoung

NAEGAHOSH: aww thanks chan

Little giant: jk

NAEGAHOSH: you’re adopted

11:46 AM

memelord added beyonce’s ass to the group

beyonce’s ass: oh my god finally why am i the last one being added

beyonce’s ass: tbh i should’ve been the first

beyonce’s ass: y’all are dead without me

beyonce’s ass: i’m the one who actually does shit in this house but i nevER GET RESPECTED FOR THIS???

beyonce’s ass: why do i even put up with all of u honestly

beyonce’s ass: i can’t believe i had to beg, BEG, vernon to fucking add me

beyonce’s ass: hey dipshit (soonyoung) you called jihoon ignoring you discrimination???

beyonce’s ass: well newsflash bitch this is the biggest discrimination act of all time

[cut for length]

12:54 PM

DadCoups: You know Seungkwan, you could’ve been doing something much more productive in that 1 hour rather than ranting about something pointless

beyonce’s ass: idc bitch

DadCoups: Excuse me?

beyonce’s ass: okAY but have you SEEN soonyoung???? i can’t believe he added EVERYONE else EXCEPT for me, is that not discrimination???????

DadCoups: We were going to

beyonce’s ass: yeah when exactly hmmmm

DadCoups: Um… Eventually.

beyonce’s ass: i can’t believe you’re roasting me too

6:38 PM

im not emo sent a photo

Skincare: why am i not surprised that the first you did in this chat was send memes

im not emo: Well the first thing you did was respond to it so HA

Skincare: uh

Skincare: ok

im not emo: It sounded better in my head

im not emo changed the group name to ‘what a wonderful world’

May 31, 2017

1:22 AM

memelord sent a photo

memelord sent a photo

memelord sent a photo

memelord sent a photo

DadCoups: Vernon, go to sleep.

memelord: okay wait one more D:

memelord sent a photo

memelord: maybe two

memelord sent a photo

memelord sent a photo

memelord sent a photo

Jesus: Go to sleep Vernon

memelord: fine ))))):

Jesus: Good

DadCoups: Thank you, Joshua

Jesus: No problem, but, why are you still awake?

DadCoups: I could say the same to you

Jesus: Touché

memelord sent a photo

9:47 AM

NAEGAHOSH: hey guys if you don’t come down for breakfast right now i’m gonna eat it all

dabasaurus: honestly no one cares soonyoung

NAEGAHOSH: you know what fuck all of you, there’s no damn respect in this house, you can all go die

DadCoups: CONFIRMED!!

dabasaurus: i have porn

Jesus: whAT

NAEGAHOSH: ..you can live

NAEGAHOSH: for slightly longer.

Jesus: nO TAKE THAT SIN AWAY CLEANSE YOURSELVES

Little giant: Just come eat your damn breakfast

dabasaurus: roasted

DadCoups: Language

Jesus: Language

2gud4u: language chan! >:(

im not emo changed the group name to ‘we’re all children of god’