#INY Chapter Fifty Two

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 52

Before lying down, you thought it might be best to catch up with Steve. Maybe talking to him away from an audience, and especially away from Tony, might help him see the reason behind what you were saying. He always had seemed like a level-headed person, and he had some truth of it, too. Loki was getting the better of everyone. Maybe it was why it made it hard to agree with one another.

But no one seemed to know where he was. Which was funny. As you’d left the lab only moments after he’d stormed off. It probably meant he wasn’t in a talking mood. Not ready to be found. The last place you wanted to be was on the bridge, but that was also one of the last places you had yet to look, so begrudgingly you took yourself there. Fury, also, was noticeably absent, and the agents at every station looked up at you as you entered but forced themselves back to their work soon after.

The only people there worth talking to were Coulson and Thor who were gathered around a console, looking at a woman on screen. You had no idea what they were talking about, but Thor seemed pretty forlorn. It bothered you to bother them, but Coulson looked up at you as you got just a little bit closer.

“Everything alright?”

“Have you guys seem Steve? I need to talk to him about something.”

Leaning away from the computer, Coulson crossed his arms. “What something? I can locate him, if you like.” His way of trying to ask you if it was important. Need to know.

You shook your head. “It’s alright. Don’t worry about it.”

Thor turned your way. “Are you well, Lady? You look rather pale.”

“I’m okay. I’m just feeling a little under the weather. I’m going to lie down. Sorry for bothering you.” There was nothing here for you.

Coming to your side, Thor gestured. “Allow me to walk you to your room.”

Your immediate instinct was to tell him no thank you, but you tamped it down. He’d probably just insist anyway. “Oh- um, sure. Thank you. That’s very kind.” You gave Couslon a little wave and took off at a slow place, Thor aside you. In the hallway you decided to be a little bit intrusive. For the greater good, of course. “Who was that woman on the screen? You know her?” Hoping she was okay, if that was the case.

“Jane Foster. And yes. SHIELD has done her a great favor in finding her a safe place to stay during all this madness.” Very easily a rain of happiness washed over you from him. Mixed with fondness.

You couldn’t help a small smile. “Is she your girlfriend?” Interesting, if so. Jane was most likely a human from earth. What a love story!

“More than a friend, I would say.” Just a bit of shyness came from him then. He was quiet an open book for you.

“I just mean… you’re dating her? Uh… courting her?” His old world mannerisms were a little confusing. You’d have to get used to them.

It was impossible not to catch his smile out of the corner of your eye. “I care greatly for her, yes.”

Just as the two of you drew close to the elevator, “Tell me about her.”

Once inside he cast you a questioning glance. “Jane? She’s… no one has asked this of me.” He took a serious moment contemplating what he might say. “Jane was the first human I met, when I came to earth before. She helped me, even at personal cost. She’s incredibly intelligent and has such fire.” The longer he went on the more the glow became apparent.

So much so that when the doors opened to the residential floor, you were grinning. “You love her.”

“I-…” He got caught in a small light of embarrassment but recovered fairly well, smiling widely at you. “I do.” It made all the more sense then, why SHIELD would stow her away somewhere, if his brother came to earth to destroy it- seemingly because Thor had developed attachments here.

Earth really was caught between these two. It was a little concerning, to be sure…

At your door, you beamed up at him. “She’s a lucky woman.”

“And I a lucky man.” Sure, now, emboldened by your findings. It made you feel pretty good. “If I may ask something similar of you...” Your brows lifted in question to allow him to continue. “Stark… you care greatly for him?”

For some reason this caught you completely off guard, and you felt a red flash in your cheeks. Had Thor been watching the two of you or something? Had Tony said something to him when they’d fought before? No way to guess. But at your overt reaction he began grinning and it was better to answer than to let him continue to go on that way. “I do.”

“You love him.” Now you were sure he was teasing you.

But you were firm as you answered. “I do love him. Deeply.”

“And he, you.”

But, now not understanding why he was continuing, you felt a little frustrated. “Yes. Why are you asking?”

He put a steady hand on your shoulder. “Fear not, I am not trying to upset you. I just wish to caution you. Loki is mischievous at his core. I never thought him capable of this great malice… but I mean to say, if I can see it, so can he. And he may try to use it against you.”

You glowered. “Loki is a lot of things. And he would be a fool to try and come between us.”

“Of this I have no doubt.” Thor answered strongly. For some reason it made you feel better. “Just keep it in mind.”

Thor was just trying to help you, it seemed. And no one knew Loki better than the man who was his brother. You couldn’t be mad at him for that. “Thanks, Thor. I will.”

“You are welcome. Thank you, as well. And rest well.” He gave your shoulder a little pat, gave you a little nod, and then turned on heel to leave. You watched him go for just a moment before pushing the button to open the door to your room. Thinking. About many things. Now this, too.

It made sleep impossible. You were sure you had the right room, this time, but sleeping was out of reach. You’d turned off all the lights and scrunched your eyes closed, tossed to one side and then the other. It was too difficult. Knowing Loki was so close. Sitting in that jail cell. Waiting. Waiting for what though? And those people who had the Tesseract? Where were they? What were they doing? Meanwhile your team was somewhat broken.

Clint was god knew where, doing stuff that he would no doubt regret later when you managed to save him- ...you, right? They wanted you to do it? If only they’d just tell you in plain words what your purpose here was. It surely couldn’t just be to get to know the team and try to quell them as the infighting started, could it?

What was Nat doing? Or Thor? Or Steve? While Bruce and Tony worked in the lab… this team needed to be assembled far before this. Why only now? What had SHIELD been doing before that they were hiding from you? What was the Tesseract? What was it capable of? And that stick with the gem…?

And now with the migraines back, and that noise- that noise that was still droning…

You felt yourself slip into a light doze. Just long enough to be unaware of your surroundings. In total darkness. Even blacker than just the lights off in your room.

Stifling.

Breathing became difficult, just coming in short pants. You felt yourself growing warmer. In a dream-? In reality-? Your eyes were opening- wide open then for just a moment. And you caught the sight of Loki’s pale face staring down at you. Unhinged. Tampered with that yellow static.

 “You’re going to be very useful. Aren’t you?”

 Sitting up with a shriek, your hand went to double tap the reactor on your chest, setting your suit into motion. It didn’t help that you were tumbling out of bed, face first- or… suit face first?- as you laid on the floor.

Tony’s voice registered over your comm. “What’s going on? You alright? Your heart rate is up forty percent.”

“Just a… just a nightmare… I think...” Hands curling into fists, you propped yourself up from the floor, still breathing heavy. Sitting up, back against the nightstand, you brought your hands up into view, flexing your fingers. There was a weight over you. “I-” Reaching up you deactivated your helmet and visor. Little prickles of that same yellow static were racing over your fingertips. Invisible to your technology’s eyes- you’d guess any eyes other than your own, but it still drew a shuddering gasp.

“I’m coming down there.”

“Don’t- don’t. I know you’re busy-” What was happening to you?

“We’re fine to run without me fifteen minutes- right-?” Hearing him ask Bruce. You didn’t hear what the answer was, but already knew as he confirmed. “I’ll be right there.”

Your head fell forward, and you almost buried your hands in your hair- but you pulled them away as if they’d been burnt. What was this infecting you? Would it infect others? Had Loki purposefully inflicted you with it? He must have. But what was it? What was it doing to you? How could you stop it-

The door to your room opened and you held your hand up without thought, repulsor charging-

“Hey- whoa! Hey. It’s me-” Tony’s hands were both held up to you defensively. Except he wasn’t wearing his suit. And you still were. And seconds away from blasting him. When you dropped them he came in, door closing behind him. “That bad? Hey...” Without a second thought he came to sit with you on the floor.

The lights were still off but between the dual glow of your reactors, it was bright enough to see one another. “He did something to me- don’t touch me-” You pleaded with him.

But melted once he immediately disobeyed you, taking your face in his hands, tilting you to look up at him. “You’re alright... You look okay to me.”

Eyes darting over him, you looked for that static. But it wasn’t there. Holding your hands up between you, it wasn’t on you anymore, either. Collapsing with a sigh against him, you buried your face in his shoulder, and his arms wound around you.

Feeling the comforting weight of his head atop yours, you then felt the warring feeling of fear inside him. “Why don’t you go home? We’ve got this covered here, we’re just about to wrap up. You should go home. Rest. Take it easy. Get away from all this.” Because clearly you couldn’t handle it, right? It was doing something to you.

“We’re not done yet.” You whined into his shirt. “No one else gets to go home, why should I?”

“Because I care about you way more than I care about any of them.” Brutally honest. “Though… why don’t you take Bruce to the Tower. I’ll clean up here and meet up with you two.”

Despite yourself you smiled, shaking your head. “He won’t leave right in the middle of this. Just like I won’t.”

“Yeah...” Admitting defeat softly. He let a silence sit while you got comfortable, half climbing into his lap. Enjoying this moment. Knowing it wouldn’t last. He urged the concept when finally, he asked, “What happened back on the Quinjet?”

You kept your eyes open, scared that if you closed them while retelling it, you’d fall back in again. “I tried to feel him out. I went… somewhere deep. And he attacked me there. I’ve never been pinned like that before. Usually when I’m there the other person doesn’t know. It’s like that part of them is asleep or something. But… he wasn’t. And he tried to murder me.” Letting yourself run cold as you put it so plainly.

That fear bubbled over into terror, and his arms wound just a little tighter around you. That was a place he could not save you from, if it ever happened again. Because it wasn’t a place that he understood. Or maybe even could make sense of. It intrinsically belonged to you and your world. And he’d never be able to touch it.

That alone was too much for him to handle.

“So you don’t do it again. And we’ll keep the two of you separated.” Trying his best, despite his lack of understanding, to find the best solution.

“But I saw him- just now I saw him…” Your hands clutched at his back. “He- when I saw him there- he had this… I don’t know how to explain it… I think he threw up a shield, like he knew I was coming. It was like this yellow filter, or something-”

“A shield, you think? Why would he give you a shield?”

“I don’t know... but now I see it on me… I can’t get it off...” The tears were coming.

“Right now? Where?” Sitting you back, he touched his hands over your face.

“I did- but… when you came-… it’s gone now.” You held your hands up to him, as if trying to let him know that’s where you’d been burned, and he took them in his, bringing one up and then the other to lay two soft kisses to your knuckles.

“Right. So we keep you away from him, and close to me. Sounds perfect.” He grinned, but it was weak.

This was too hard, for the both of you. You had figured that would be the case, when Coulson first arrived. That this was going to be the biggest thing you’d ever faced. And this only felt like the beginning. If you weren’t strong enough now what would happen when… something bigger arrived? As it always did?

You tried to smile back for him. “That means I’m not going home.”

“Yeah, well. You weren’t going to anyway.”

It was your turn to reach up, taking the sides of his head, holding him steady as you laid your forehead against his. Finally, for just a brief moment, closing your eyes. Feeling safe enough to do so. “We’re a team.”

“Damn right. So let’s go be a team and blow this whole thing wide open.” He shifted forward a bare amount, laying a kiss to your lips. One you wished you could have surrendered to wholly, as it felt like it really set your entirely world straight. Your hands drifted, instead wrapping your arms around his neck, holding to him. His hand went up to catch the mid of your back, keeping you steady.

It went on for too long, the world declared, when Bruce spoke up in both your comm sets. “We’re approaching signal. You okay to come back?”

You and Tony shared a mutual sigh, breaking from one another. Feeling like that really was the signal that there was finally no going back. “Yeah. We’re headed up.” Tony sounded. Looking at you one last time. “When you’re ready.”

It was all you could do to give him a nod. You had to be strong. He was trying. You had to, too. “Ready.”

                                       ----------------------------

Back in the lab, you were eased all the more by Bruce’s gentle smile and him welcoming you back into the fray. The fray, of course, being touching monitors every now and again to manage levels and findings. Very easy to do. And it was nice to put your mind on something else. Tony stood behind you and directed you on how to do another task, and you appreciated this, too.

Little chitchat happened back and forth as the sun started rising, about how when this was over you two would really take him to Stark Tower, quelling any objections he had- because if he could handle being here of all places, he really was safe and sound to come hang out at the Tower. And the two of you wanted him there, not just for him, but you really did like him. Tony seemed to, too, which was rare. You wanted to cultivate that.

It would have been too nice and too easy to get lost in that.

It was why when JARVIS talked over both your and Tony’s ear pieces, “Intercepting SHIELD comms,” the world came to another halt.

The two of you looked at each other as Nat’s voice spoke up. “Loki means to unleash the Hulk. Keep Banner in the lab, and remove Lady from the vicinity. I’m on my way. Send Thor as well.”

Panic bolted through you and you attempted to move away from the console, but Tony put a hand up to stop you, coming closer to stand next to you. “You’re alright. We’re fine.”

Bruce looked up. “What’s going on?”

Tony looked back. “Act casual.”

As if summoning him, the lab doors opened, and in briskly walked a very angry looking Fury. He nodded in your direction. “I need you to come with me.”

Tony took the lead, standing just a little in front of you. “She’s not going anywhere.”

Fury put his hands on his hips. “And what are you doing, Mr. Stark?”

“Kinda been wondering the same thing about you.” With a little nudge, Tony escorted you to the other side of the room nearer to Bruce. You wondered if this was a good idea. Loki’s plans had somehow been divulged… and they seemed to involve the two people who were now standing a foot away from one another.

And may as well have been set to explode. But what you felt was… a sense of comradery. You, Tony, and Bruce against the world, really.

After watching the two of you move in defiance, when you finally stopped Fury spoke again. “You’re supposed to be locating the Tesseract.”

Bruce put his hands together. “We are. The model’s locked and we’re sweeping for the signature now.” He pointed to one of the screens. “When we get a hit, we’ll have the location within half a mile.”

Tony turned one of the monitors his way as SHIELD’s files started pouring in. “And you’ll get your cube back. No muss, no fuss.”

Leaning up on tiptoe next to him, you swiped across one of the files and then clicked for entry. PHASE 2 stood out bright among it all, as it had the most security attached to it. “What’s Phase Two, Fury?”

With a large metal slam, Steve came into the room, dropping a heavy weapon onto the table. Everyone looked up at him. “Phase two is SHIELD uses the cube to make weapons.” Looking at the three of you in the back, “Sorry. Your computer was moving a little slow for me.” But when Steve locked eyes with you, the two of you shared a smile.

 Glad to have you back.

 Tony clicked into a deeper point of the file, bringing up blueprints. One of which looked exactly like what Steve had just dropped on the table. Stepping back Fury moved to address the Captain. “Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. That does not mean that we’re-”

“I’m sorry, Nick.” Tony interrupted him, as you crossed your arms. He turned the screen around for the two to see. “What were you lying?”

Steve gave Fury a dead-eyed cold look. “I was wrong, director. The world hasn’t changed a bit.”

This was growing into a potentially dangerous situation and you knew that. SHIELD and their secrets would tear any normal human apart. What about enhanced ones? Ones that were supposed to be on a team? But then maybe it was good you were mobilizing as a team against their nonsense. You didn’t believe they were evil- but… well, then again, they were trying to make weapons with an unparalleled energy source. What did you know? About any of them?

Answering you yet again, the doors opened one more time, Thor and Natasha walking in quickly. You and Bruce both looked at her, and surprised each other by speaking in sync. “Did you know about this?”

You had no idea the nature of his relationship with her, maybe it would have been worth asking. But you knew how you felt about her. And right now that was pretty betrayed. She clasped her hands in front of her and spoke back at the both of you. “You wanna think about removing yourselves from this environment?”

Bruce laughed dryly. “I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.”

Feeling a good, yeah me too coming on, you followed up. “I got a folder asking me to come here. I’m not leaving without answers.”

“Loki is manipulating the both of you.”

Bruce scoffed. “And you’ve been doing what exactly?”

Now she was crossing her arms. “You didn’t come because I bat my eyelashes at you.”

A tide was rising in the room. Steady. Simmering. But it would soon come to a boil. Everyone’s feelings were louder than what they were saying. And it was casting an odd light along the shadows in the corners of the room. The ringing came back to your ears.

Turning, Bruce stepped in front of the table and to the monitor Tony had the files displayed on. “Yeah, and I’m not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy. I’d like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction.”

There was a tense silence in the room, and you tried to use it to get your balance back. But for once, it seemed, at the worst time, Fury decided to be truthful. “Because of him.” Pointing to Thor.

“Me?”

“Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town.” You remembered seeing that on one of the files SHIELD had given you and Tony. Remembered the date. And remembered you’d known nothing about it until that time. But those people- they remembered it. Some of them had died because of it. And you… “We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned.”

Thor seemed stunned and just a touch angry. “My people want nothing but peace with your planet.”

Fury turned on him. “But you’re not the only people out there, are you? And you’re not the only threat. The world’s filling up with people who can’t be matched. They can’t be controlled.”

Your voice fell out of you before you could stop it. “Wasn’t that what we were for? What are you doing building nukes??”

Thor stepped forward. “Your work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, along with his allies. It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war.”

Steve, much like the rest of you, seemed stunned. “A higher form?”

Fury made a face. “You forced our hand. We had to come up with something.”

Standing at your side, Tony spoke up. “Nuclear deterrent. Cause that always calms everything right down.”

“Remind me how you made your fortune again, Stark?”

Oh you really were about to backhand Fury into next year this time. “This isn’t about him. This is about you and your lies.”

It was unfortunate, though, that Steve seemed to not know whose side he was on. “I’m sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep.”

Tony held a hand up. “Wait- hold on- when did this become about me?”

The ringing became nearly ear shattering. Voices started overlapping. Arguing with each other. You stepped back, hand reaching out to clutch the edge of the table. You caught bits and pieces as it became harder to breathe. That ringing was starting to sound like a shriek.

“I thought humans were more evolved-” “Excuse me did we come to your planet-”

“You understand-” “Don’t try to-” “Are you boys really-”

 Everyone was suddenly standing in a cold yellow glow.

 Even you.

 Thor waved his hand around. The voices stopped as his came into focus. “You speak of control yet you court chaos.”

Bruce crossed his arms. “It’s his M.O. isn’t it? I mean what, are we a team? No. No, no. We’re a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We’re… we’re a time bomb.”

Fury turned to him, holding his hand up, “You need to step away.”

You were no longer in control. Standing behind the table, you watched as you walked in front of it. “Why? Because you called him here just to use him and now he’s no longer an obedient dog under your version of control?”

Tony nodded, always on your team. “Yeah, why shouldn’t the guy let off a little steam?”

Steve’s anger flared. “You know damn well why! Back off!”

Face to face with each other, Tony didn’t back down. You watched yourself stand next to the two of them. “Oh, I’m starting to want you to make me.”

Steve sized him up. “Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?”

Without missing a beat, Tony replied, “Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. Yeah, I’ve seen the footage.”

Unable to help yourself, “Then you don’t know the right men.” You wanted to get along. You wanted to build this team. But it wasn’t going to happen like this. And you would never, no matter who it was, let anyone talk to Tony like that.

Never.

He scowled at you. “You better watch what you say. You’ve just gotten good at cleaning up his messes. The only thing he fights for is himself.”

A laugh ejected out of you. “You could not be more wrong. You don’t know anything-” But Tony held a hand up to stop you.

Steve directed his next words Tony’s way, “You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play. To lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.”

Tony stared at him stoically. Unmoving. “I think I would just cut the wire.”

With a shake of his head and a sardonic smile, “Always a way out… you know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.”

“A hero? Like you?” Tony stepped up just a bare inch closer. Daring him. “You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”

It was Tony’s frustration that boiled you over first. Closest to him, and only him. But you couldn’t breathe in that room. And everything was just so damn yellow. So bright you suddenly couldn’t see. And you were no longer standing next to him-

You were back at the table.

Back at the source.

Back next to Bruce who seemed just as heady. Just as angry.

What was this room full of people? No family, certainly not a team. Not trusting. Not loyal. Fighting for their own interests. Their own perceptions.

You wanted to scream.

Someone was laughing- first it was Thor- “You humans are so petty. ...and tiny.”

Then it was Bruce. And you almost thought you heard your voice coming out of his mouth, the way he was mirroring your words. “This is no team.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Standing shoulder to shoulder with him. Knowing you shouldn’t have said that- unsure it was you who let the sentiment free. But it was you, wasn’t it?

Fury turned to look at the two of you and became very still. “Agent Romanoff, will you escort these two back to their rooms.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Bruce scoffed. “You rented my room.”

Fury stepped in closer. “That was just in case-”

You felt the snap as Bruce broke, it threatened to undo you completely, leaving you hanging on by a thread as he spoke. “In case you needed to kill me, but you can’t! I know! I tried!” Your attention, much like everyone else’s, turned to him. And it was his blue that washed over the yellow. “I got low. I didn’t see an end. So I put a bullet in my mouth… and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good, until you dragged me back into this freak show, and put everyone here at risk!”

Oh- no- his blue had sucked the yellow up. Like a transfer. From you, to him-

 Oh no.

 “You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?” He’d picked the stick up off the table.

Reaching for him, you laid a hand to his shoulder, taking that static back. Forcing it away from him and back into you, even as the pain swirled. “Bruce… give that to me...” Speaking to him calmly. What last bits you had.

You were ready to explode.

He shared a look of realization with you, understanding first, and then frightened.

It took you a moment to realize, just as you had the stick in hand, that it wasn’t your body that had given out. It was the ship. An explosion from beneath you sent you hurtling towards the front glass in the lab, shattering it, shredding at your skin. You fell heavy a few decks below.

That whine was ringing in your ears.

Along with Tony’s voice.

Shouting your name as consciousness slipped away.

[chickensarentcheap]

Sanctuary - Chapter 58

Warnings: none

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @thunderintheshadows​, @valkyrie-of-the-light​

The team meeting/breakfast is scheduled for nine am; out on the roof top patio of Tyler's hotel.  He's the last to arrive, hair still messy from sleep, laces of his boots undone, sunglasses covering his tired eyes.  He'd finally managed to fall asleep shortly before three am, only to wake up every hour on the hour in a panic, body drenched in a cold sweat because of the nightmarish images that his brain just couldn't shake.  He'd been dying for a drink; tempted by the unlocked mini bar in the corner of the room. The irrational side of his mind telling him that he'd be okay with just one or two. That he'd be able to just put the bottle down and walk away when he got even the smallest bit of buzz going on. Only to be talked out of it by the more mature and rational part; that he wouldn't be able to stop, that he'd drink until he was fall down drunk and then all of his progress, even in such a short period of time, would be for nothing. Instead he texted his wife and been brutally honest. That he was having a hard time and so close to slipping. That the situation in Christchurch was way worse than it originally seemed and he was legitimately scared; that he wasn't going to make it home to her and his kids. And she'd called him right away to talk him down. Never scolding or nagging. Just quiet and supportive. Strong.

It was six in the morning when they'd finally hung up. And he'd managed to fall into a somewhat restful sleep;  successfully talked down off the ledge,  both mind and body ready to let him rest. Then the phone had gone off at eight thirty and he'd immediately panicked; thinking that something had happened and he'd be needed to get home as soon as possible. Only to discover that it was the kids. They'd just gotten home and after an excited and joyful reunion with their mother, had wanted to call him.  Excitedly blabbering about all of the fun things they'd done with Ovi and Chloe while they were on 'vacation', all the cool new foods they got to try,  the trips to the zoo.  But they'd been sad too; they'd missed home and everything that came with it. All the toys and their own beds and their backyard and even the chickens and the goats.  Most of all, they'd missed their mom. Her kisses and her hugs and the way she cuts the crust off their sandwiches.  And they'd been hopeful when they'd seen her that it had meant he was home too.  Only to be heartbroken and disappointed when they found out he was still working.

So now he's late. By a mere five minutes. But he sees the way Mark glares at him as he approaches. There's no love lost between them. And Tyler seriously considers what Yaz had said the day before; about waiting until the job was over and then just dragging Mark out into the street and laying the beating of a lifetime on him.  

“All good?” Yaz asks, as Tyler takes a seat beside him, then slides a cup of steaming black coffee towards him.

“All good.”

“Things are okay at home? With...well you know...”

He nods. “Things are fine with that. She's fine. Kids finally got back. They called wanting to talk to me, so...”

Across the table, Mark gives a derisive snort, shaking his head as he pretends to be immersed in his menu.

“What the fuck now?” Tyler asks. “You have an issue with me talking to my kids?”

“We don't have time for you to be dealing your personal shit, Rake.”

“They're his kids,” Yaz forcefully reminds Mark. “Who he isn't seen in almost a month. He's not supposed to talk to his kids now? Get out of here with that shit. They wanted to talk to their dad. What is wrong with you?”

“You either leave your shit back home or you don't show up,” Mark reasons.

“They're kids,” Nathan pipes up.  “Little kids. They're not allowed to talk to their father?”

“We don't have time to be dealing with wives and girlfriends and kids and whatever the hell else.  Are we not here to work? How are we supposed to get any shit done when some of you are too busy dealing with personal crap? Stow that shit and get on with business.”

“Sounds like someone is just bitter they don't have a personal life to worry about,” Yaz remarks, as he goes back to his own menu.  “Because my sister was smart enough to move on to someone else.”

“There was never anything between me and your sister,” Mark informs him. “It was just...a thing...”

Tyler smirks.  “A thing, huh? So that's what the kids are calling phone sex these days.  Don't be mad, Mark. That some of us are actually having real sex while you're resorting to handling things on your own. We won't hold it against you. Just don't expect me to shake your hand though. I don't want to be touching something that's been attached to your dick.”

Yaz smirks and coughs noisily beside him.

“And I'll talk to my kids whenever the fuck I feel like it,” Tyler adds. “When I talk to my kids or my wife has nothing to do with you. Or is that what the real issue is? The fact that she's my wife and not yours. You fucked that up, buddy. That was over long before I came around. I'm just the one that cleaned up your goddamn mess.”

“Hey, if you like someone else's sloppy seconds, that's your business,” Mark retorts. “You two are made for each other. You're both fucking train wrecks.”

“Just admit you're pissed off that your ex moved on to bigger and better,” Yaz says. “That you screwed things up and now you've got to live with that and he gets to live with her. Not his fault you're a cheating, wife abusing bastard.”

“Cheating, narcissistic, wife abusing bastard,” Tyler corrects. “You left out narcissistic.  Just let it go, Mark. I'm not in the mood for your shit. I'm never in the mood for your shit. But especially not now. I haven't seen my kids in almost a month, my wife isn't doing well and just got out of the hospital, and I'm here putting up with your crap. So how about you just sit there and shut the fuck up.”

Mark frowns. “She was in the hospital? Why?”

“Oh now he's worried about her,”  Yaz scoffs. “Not when he was beating the shit out of her. But now. Now that she's with a guy that doesn't do that kind of shit.  Why was she in the hospital? How about it's none of your goddamn business.”

“She hasn't been feeling well and thought maybe there was a problems with the baby,” Tyler casually explains, sipping his coffee.

Mark's frown deepens. “Baby? What baby?”

“The one that I put inside of her almost four months ago. That baby.”

“Say what you want about the man, but he's got seriously talented sperm,” Yaz digs a playful elbow into his friend's ribs. “And lots to spare, apparently.”

Congratulations go up around the table; followed by his personal cell phone being passed around in order to proudly show off the ultrasound photos that his wife had sent to him. It isn't his first rodeo; he's been this round four times now. But each time feels just as amazing as the last; seeing the pictures, watching her grow bigger with their child, his child, thinking about how incredible it is that despite all of their issues, they managed to create another human being together.  And it's bittersweet in a way. That this will be the last one.  The last chance that he has to go through the experience with her yet he here is, thousands of miles away.

A waitress comes to take their orders and talk eventually turns to the job at hand. Most specifically, his talk with Heather McMann the day before.

“Think she's trust worthy?” Yaz inquires. “Did she seem on the up and up?”

“Seemed that way,” Tyler replies. “But then so did her husband and look at how that ended up.”

“Definitely not your brightest moment,” Mark snidely comments.

Tyler chooses to ignore it.  “Unless she's a really good actress, there is no way she was lying. It was too real; the emotion on her face, in her voice.”

He realizes how much he sounds like Esme; when she's going on about how there's times where he communicates more effectively with his facial expressions and his body language than with actual words. She always knows what he's feeling...what he's thinking...long before he ever verbally expresses them.   That is how it had been with Heather McMann.  It wasn't what he'd heard. It was what he'd seen. And everything told him that it was very, very real.

“And the kids are in there?” Mark asks. “In that shop?”

“In the basement. She says it's like an underground bunker down there. Just like the one back home. It would look like this...” he snatches the pen that Yaz has tucked in the breast pocket of his short sleeved button down, and then grabs the unused napkin underneath his own cutlery. “One long hallway...” he speaks as he hastily draws the layout. “...there's a room immediately to the left of the stairs. Small. Five by six, if that. Another room about four feet down the hall, to the right. Slightly bigger. I'm saying about seven by eight, maybe. Five more rooms after that. Directly across from one another. The first three are the same size; eight by nine. Last two are bigger. The one where Esme found the chair was eleven by twelve. The one where I found Erin Ferguson was large. Thirteen by fifteen. There's a door, at the end of the hall; just leads to a small cold storage area. No other entrance or exit. Just the main one. Hallway is three hundred and fifty feet. Give or take a couple of inches.”

“And you were able to know all of this...all these measurements...even though it was dark down there?” Mark smirks. “How?”

“Because I have two fucking feet and I know how to count without having to use my fingers. That's how. I walked that entire place. We walked it. I know exactly how many feet there were.”

Just like he'd known exactly how many it took to get as far as he did on the Sultana Kamal Bridge. Because he'd counted down every single one; each step taking him not only closer to freedom and safety, but to her. A number that...as soon as he'd been healthy enough...he'd had tattooed on the inside of his right bicep. Along with each of the kids' first and middle initials and their dates of birth.

“And I never once mentioned that it was dark down there,” he adds. “How did you know that?”

“So maybe it wasn't completely dark,” Mark corrects himself. “Just the rooms. The hallway had light.”

Tyler scowls. “But I never mentioned that. To any of you. This is the first time I've talked about what it was like down there since it happened. How'd you know that the only light was in the hallway?”

“I guess I just assumed,” Mark shrugs. “I mean, there's only so many options when you're underground, right?”

“You absolute motherfucker,” Tyler's eyes darken, his voice becoming menacing as the reality sinks in.  “It was you. You're the one that told McMann we were going there. When Esme asked you to distract him so we could go there and poke around.”

Mark gives a dry laugh. “Okay, that's really reaching, Rake. Your brain really is messed up if you can jump to shitty ass conclusions like that so fast.”

“She trusted you. I trusted you. You told him as soon as you met him up with him, didn't you. That's how he was able to get things together so quickly. He knew exactly how long it would take us to get there. It gave him enough time to get his people there and have someone fuck up the comms. Or was that you, too? FBI would know how to do shit like that, right?”

“You're crazy,” Mark declares. “You've officially gone right off the deep end. Snapped that last shred of sanity you've been hanging onto. I told Esme this would happen you know.  That one day you'd just lose it all together. I'm glad it didn't happen when you were at home. You'd probably be one of those guy's that would go completely psycho and kill his entire family...”

“Listen you little fuck...”  there's a loud clatter of silverware and china as he leans across the table, a fist snatching Mark by the front of his golf shirt.  Around them, conversations and laughter all come to a stand still as every eye on the place zeros in on the altercation taking place before them.  “...for the last time, leave my family out of this. Don't talk about them, don't even think about them.”

“Okay...okay...” Yaz once again resorts to playing peacemaker. “...I get you want to kill him, but we're in a public place and the last thing we need to do is draw attention to ourselves. So please calm the fuck down.”

Tyler releases his grip on Mark's shirt, but roughly shoves him back into his chair. “I trusted you. I took her word for it that you wouldn't totally fuck us and you did. You knew she was going with me. You knew she'd be there. And you told him. Do you know what could have happened to her? If I hadn't have told her to leave? Do you have any idea the sick shit they would have done to her? Or didn't that matter to you. As long as you got rid of me, you didn't give a shit what happened to her.”

“Is this true?” Yaz asks. “What he's saying? Were you the one that told McMann about Tyler and Esme going there?”

“I never said a goddamn word. He's crazy. Certifiably crazy. We all know his issues. How fucked up in the head he is. Doesn't this prove that?”

“I'm fucked up in the head?” Tyler retorts. “You're calling me fucked up in the head yet you're the one that knew what would happen to her if they got a hold of her? You hate me that much that you'd let that happen? You'd let them do that her? To my wife?”

“Is it true?” Yaz presses. “Just tell us that. Were you the one who told McMann that they'd be at the house? Yes or no.”

Mark sighs heavily. “Yes.”

“Jesus...fuck...” Yaz mutters, as Nathan throws his hands up in surrender of the whole screwed up situation and walks away from the table. “...you can't be serious. Why the hell?”

“Money,” Mark simply replies. “He offered me a lot of money.”

“Holy shit,” Zak shakes his head in disbelief and gets up from the table as well. “This is fucked. You're fucked, Mark. We're supposed to be a fucking team! You brought us here to help and you're going around doing shit like this? For money?”

“He needed help,” Mark says. “He'd already screwed up once when it came to killing you. He thought for the second time would work.”

“And it didn't matter that she was with me,” Tyler states. “It didn't matter what they do to her. None of that mattered to you.”

Mark shrugs. “Collateral damage.”

“You didn't care if my kids were left without their father or their mother?”

“Whatever had to be done to take you out. If that meant she went too...” he shrugs once more.

Sighing heavily, Tyler shakes his head and leans back in his chair, elbow on the arm rest; palm pressed against his forehead as he closes his eyes.

“Guess things were really fucked once we grabbed McMann, huh?” Yaz inquires. “Guess that's why you were hell bent on getting Tyler to change his mind about wanting to torture his ass. You didn't want anything to happen to your boss. In case there was a chance to make more money.”

“Are you kidding?” Mark laughs. “I was glad when we got rid of him. Means I didn't have to worry about him anymore.”

“You mean you didn't have to worry about him ratting you out,” Yaz concludes. “You realize that we're going to have to cut you loose, right? That this goes way beyond fucking things up. You were going to kill one of your own teammates. Or have someone else kill them. Like what the hell man? For what? Money? Or did this go beyond that? Was this a more personal thing? All because you didn't like the fact that your ex moved on?”

“I gotta get out of here,” Tyler pushes his chair away from the table, taking money from his wallet and tossing it down.

The anxiety is too far out of control; chest tightening, sweat beginning to gather at the small of his back and the nape of his back,  the faint quell of nausea as bile sits in his throat. And he's vaguely aware of the sarcastic, cutting comment Mark makes at expense as he leaves; strides long and purposeful as they take him across  the busy roof top patio and through the restaurant. Needing to get the hell away...away from the noise...away from the bright lights...away from all the people.  Jamming his finger repeatedly against the down button for the elevator; muttering curses and wiping sweat from his forehead with his forearm and trying to force himself to breathe.

“You okay?” Yaz is suddenly at his side, a concerned look on his face. “What's up? Talk to me?”

“I can't...it's like I can't fucking breathe....”

“Just take it easy.  That was a lot to fucking hear.  You got meds on you or....?”

“I don't need meds. I just need to get out of here. Where there's less noise and less people and...”

Yaz frowns as he glances around the empty hallway. “There's no one even out there. You want me to go with you? You don't look so good.”

He shakes his head. “I'll be fine. I just need to go...I don't know where I need to go...I just know I can't be here...”

“You're not going to do anything stupid are you? I mean, you've got all those guns in your room and...”

“I'm not going to fucking kill myself. I might kill him,” he nods in the direction of the restaurant. “But I'm not going to kill myself.”

“You should call home,” Yaz suggests. “Talk to Esme. She'll know how to talk you down.”

“I don't need to call home. I don't want her fucking worrying about this shit. She's got four kids to take care of and a baby to worry about...”

“And you're the father of those kids and that baby and she deserves to know when you're feeling like this.  Call home. Or I'll do it for you.”

“Stay out of it, Yaz. I know you're trying to help. But stay out of it. I'm trying to keep shit from falling apart. And the more I put on her, the more I'm going to push her away and the more it is going to fall apart.”

“That's bullshit and you know it. Go back to your room, call home, talk to your wife.”

The elevator finally arrives; allowing several people off before stepping into the empty cab.

“Call her!” Yaz orders.

“Stay out of it,” he shoots back, and slams his finger against the close door button.

****

By the time he returns to his room, the photos from Heather McMann have arrived; tucked in a brown paper envelope and stuck between the door and the frame. He'd expected an email or images sent through a text message, so he's surprised -albeit pleasantly- to find that she'd through such efforts to make sure he got exactly what he needed. Once inside he takes half a dozen anti anxiety pills and two Prozac instead of the normal one. And he feels no guilt or shame when he swallows them down with half a bottle of whisky from the bar, leaving the rest on the nightstand as he dumps the contents of the envelope onto the bed. Some of the photos have sticky notes on the back of the them; pointing out small details that he may not notice at first but she felt he needed to know about.  And while the photographs are promising and should be leaving him with more answers than questions, they just aren't enough. They don't put his frantic mind to rest; the conversation with Mark replaying in his mind, the feelings of rage and betrayal, the sense of doom that hangs over him like an ominous dark cloud.

He considers just packing it up and going home. Handing everything off to Yaz and telling him that he's done. Get someone else. That he's not feeling confident enough to get the job done. That his brain is too fucked up to fully focus on what needs to be done. That would be more dangerous than anything else; if he couldn't get his head on straight and commit himself one hundred percent, both he and those kids would die. There was no question about.  It would be best for everyone if he just left; if he accepted defeat just this once and admitted that he wasn't in any shape to carry this job out.

His private cell phone vibrates against his leg and he slips it from the side pocket of his cargos. At first he considers not answering; he's almost done the bottle of the booze and he's considering opening another and once he starts talking to her, he'll confess all his shortcomings and admit to all his bullshit and then it will cause a big old thing between them. She'll be pissed off. Disappointed. Not meaning to call him a failure but making him feel like one nonetheless.  He reminds himself that that's just bullshit; his brain trying to convince him that everyone...even her...is out to get him. She's never...even in the midst of his biggest fuck ups...made him feel like he was a complete and utter disaster.

So he answers it; catching it on the last ring before it goes to voice mail.

“Everything okay?” he asks in way of greeting. “You and the kids okay?”

“What the hell is going on, Tyler?” her response is straight to the point. Yet it's not anger in her voice. It's hurt. Confusion.  “Yaz just called. What is going on over there?”

“What did he tell you?”

“Something about Mark being involved with McMann and being the one that told McMann that we'd be at the house that day. That McMann offered him money for information? What the fuck, Tyler?”

“Okay, I'm going to need you to calm down. Less stress, remember? So just take it easy...”

“How the hell am I supposed to take it easy? You're thousands of miles away, getting ready to walk into some pretty dangerous shit with no proper help and no proper back up and...”

“Esme,” his tone is firm. “Calm down. We shouldn't even be talking about this. The kids...”

“The kids are outside with Ovi and Kyle. They can't hear a thing I'm saying. You need to start talking. You need to tell me what the fuck is happening before I get on the next plane to New Zealand. Because you damn well know I'll do it and I know it's the last thing you want. So you either start telling me what the hell is happening or I swear to God. Tyler, I will show up on your doorstep and there won't be a goddamn thing you can do stop me.”

“Are you going to calm down?” he inquires. “Because I'm not saying shit until you do. So you either calm down or you hang up and call me back when you have your shit together.”

“Don't fucking talk to me like that. I'm not one of your soldiers from your military days that you can boss around. I'm your wife. So don't be a condescending asshole and...”

“Esme!” he snaps. “Calm down or I'll hang up and I won't answer when you call back, understand me?”

“Don't..”

“Understand me?” he presses, and it's then that she takes a long, deep inhale, followed by a shaky, uneven exhale. “Are you good? Are you done flipping your shit on me? I need you stay calm. And that baby needs you stay calm. Do you want something happening? Because I don't”

“Of course I don't. But I also don't want anything happening to you. And if what Yaz said is true...”

“McMann gave Mark money...or at least offered him money...to tell him that we were going to be at the house.”

“But why? For what purpose? To kill you? So McMann wouldn't have to get his own hands dirty?”

“Apparently. And he told him even though Mark knew you'd be with me. Meaning if they'd gotten a hold of you...”

“And that's what really set you off. Yaz said you had a panic attack.”

“He should have kept his mouth shut.”

“No. He shouldn't have. You should stop assuming that I'm some weak and fragile little girl that can't handle these things. I've been handling them for five and a half years, Tyler. I spent months sleeping in a chair in a hospital, dealing with a lot worse than this. Having people constantly telling me that you weren't going to survive or that if you did you'd be brain damaged and I'd spend the rest of my life taking care of you. You think this is bad? This isn't half as bad as the things I heard and the things I was prepared to do. You always go on and on about how strong I am. Well start treating me like I am!”

He's surprised by the forcefulness in her voice.  

“You get so caught up thinking you constantly need to protect me. And I understand why you're like that. I do. We've been through a lot of together. We've been through some terribly shitty and scary things. But you don't need to be this way. It's frustrating and it's annoying and it's suffocating. And I don't know why you can't see that. You need to stop. More importantly, I need you to stop.  Stop protecting me and start trusting me that I can handle things.”

'You're right,” he reluctantly admits. “I know how much you hate it. The whole overprotective thing. And I don't mean to be that way. But I also can't help it. I can't stop wanting to keep you safe.”

“I'm not saying you need to stop. I'm saying you need to tone it down a bit. I'm not one of the people you get hired to get out of shitty situations.  Dhaka was five and a half years ago. You did what you needed to do. I survived. Now you need to start acting like we're not still stuck back there and you're still trying to find a way to get me out of there. You always tell me I need to let it go. Maybe there's parts of it you still need to let go too.”

He sighs heavily, then reaches for the bottle of whisky and drains it.

“What's going to happen now?” she asks. “With Mark??”

“I don't know. Nik can take care of that. She brought him into this, she can take him out of it.”

“I never should have asked him for help. If I'd never asked him...”

“Don't do that. This isn't your fault. You didn't know he was going to turn around and do something like this.”

“Still, if I hadn't have asked him...”

“Esme...stop. This isn't on you. You didn't know he was going to turn out like this. Let Nik take care of it. There's nothing either of us can do about him.”

“You could always kick the shit out of him.”

“I'm tempted. Believe me. Beyond tempted, even.”

“But you're okay, right? Because that's all that matters to me. That you've calmed down and you're okay.”

“Yeah,” he glances over at the empty whisky bottle. “I'm okay.”

“Is there any good news? Are you any closer to getting those kids and getting the fuck home? Because we kind of miss you here.”

“I miss you guys too. And I'd come home right now if I could. And maybe I should. Maybe I should just say 'fuck this' and tell Nik to find someone else. Because I'm so sick of this shit. I'm tired and I'm sore and I just want to see you and the kids. I've had enough. I can't do this anymore. This life. I just can't.”

“Tyler....”

“I can't...” he insists, and his voice finally cracks under the weight of the emotion that he's been carrying around. Is it weeks? Months? Years even? He doesn't know for sure. But the burden has been huge and heavy, and despite his best attempts, he just can't carry it any longer.  “...I can't do this...mentally...I just can't...I need to come home.  I'm no good to those kids if I stay. I can't get them out of there. Not when I'm like this.”

“Tyler...”

“It'll just make things worse,” he continues, letting both the words and the tears flow. “I can't get past it. What's going on in my head. There's so much going on and it won't leave me alone. It never leaves me alone. It's never quiet up there anymore and I can't take it.  I need it to be quiet. I need it to leave me alone and it won't if I stay here. It'll never leave me alone. And I can't live like this any longer. I just can't.”

“Come home,” she says. Simple. Straight to the point. “You need to come home.”

He nods in agreement, using the back of his hand to clear the tears off his face.  

“You've done enough. For other people. Now you need to come home and get better.”

“I can't do it by myself,” he admits.  “I know I can't.”

“You don't have to. You know that. You're not alone in this.  I'll help you.  And I wish I was there right now. I'd do anything to be there with you. You know that, right?”

“I do. I do know that.”

“Just come home, Tyler,” she says. “It's time to come home.”

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 152 [Begin: Age of Ultron]

The “secret” Hydra base was located on the tippy top of one of the mountains. It was also huge. And obvious. A wonder that none of you had ever thought to look at it before. Then again, Sokovia was such a small place. So small, in fact, that that giant research castle butted up against a town on the other side. That was extremely bad news. Casualties were a real possibility. Also. Getting caught doing this. Which … wasn’t worse than loss of life but it was pretty bad. 

It was enough to tick your anxiety on the ride over on the jet. There were so many ways this could go wrong. So many ways that it would. You just had to hold it together. For the team. This could be one less thing to worry about if everything went right. You had to put your focus on the positives. Even as hard as that was. 

This mountaintop fortress of theirs was on top of a dense forest. Too much coverage to see through on satellite- except for the watchtowers in very strategic placement. If the incident in Sudan had a little over three hundred soldiers, you imagined these guys had maybe a thousand. And lots of heavy ammunition and firepower. All things the team was going over one more time as the jet stayed in a hover just outside the starting radius. 

Oh and… “We don’t know how many enhanced there are, or what they can do. We have to keep sharp.” Steve was leaned over one of the holograph tables projecting the tippy-top base. Funny. Coulson had said the same thing. 

Human experimentation. The thought was repulsive. And to do it with the scepter? Something so alien? Hydra must have been extremely desperate. Yet… Jessica had come across something like this, too. Killian had been working on this as well. Was this just the way the world was trending now? Why? Because of the Avengers?? It was a tough thing to think about. Not something you wanted to think about. ...yet you couldn’t stop. 

The only thing that took your mind off of it was being thrust into the heat of battle. 

Tony had landed the jet outside the perimeter in an established safe zone. The idea was to take them by surprise. To canvas the entire sector inch by inch if you had to and take everyone out and then storm the base. 

...but that’s not what ended up happening. 

The team wasn’t even a mile in before a battalion patrolling spotted everyone. Bunkers had turrets with that charged Chitauri weaponry, no doubt courtesy of Dr. Jensen, all aimed in your direction. You weren’t sure when someone had shouted for a Code Green, but Hulk had appeared nonetheless. 

You and Tony took off together to try and flank the oncoming forces while the rest of the team charged up into battle. That plan had worked before. Why not replay it not even forty-eight hours later? Except the scale of this was much larger, they had much more firepower- and it was turning into a little bit of a shitshow. 

“I think we should storm the castle and make a point.” You could beat soldiers on the ground all day long, but if you took their prized possession and handcuffed their leaders, they might lay down their weapons. Wouldn’t that be nice. 

Tony arched a brow from his box on your HUD and then nodded. “Alright. Let’s see if Rapunzel will let her hair down for us.” There was a little sting of sass here that said I highly doubt it.

He bolted up and over the treeline and you were quick to follow. The two of you circled the massive property, up and up, to the top most compound. A little too easy to break into. It was just right there. And if anyone could walk in, it wasn’t much of a base. Which was why it only marginally surprised you when Tony closed in on the eastern-most wall and then promptly bounced off it, revealing a forcefield. 

“Shit!” More a grunt of surprise from him than anything, with a look to match. Maybe he’d been more startled than actually hurt. 

Steve’s voice was quick to chastise over the comms. “Language!” 

You couldn’t help the face you made. “Have you been doing more PSAs for schools or something?” Hanging around kids? What had prompted that? Though Tony was grinning. 

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.” Clearly Steve was very aware he’d made a mistake. “JARVIS, what’s the view from upstairs?” 

As the satellite in orbit zeroed in closer on the building, all the data got thrown up on your screen, including the live feed of JARVIS looking at the compound. “The central building is protected by some kind of energy shield. Strucker's technology is well beyond any other Hydra base we've taken.” 

Thor responded to that first. “Loki’s scepter must be here. Strucker couldn’t mount his defense without it.” 

You couldn’t help your look of confusion. “We just got out of a battle with Jensen who had brand new tech. We’re thinking this is scepter grown and not Chitauri?” It could have gone both ways, and maybe it didn’t matter in either case. But you had to wonder. 

“We took her down with ease, did we not?” He made a good counterpoint to that. So you let him have this, because he seemed pretty pleased. “At long last.” 

You rolled out from your position, a little too clear in the air as a few of the watchtowers had started firing on you from inside the base. Natasha’s voice got a little garbled as you took a hit from the side. “At long last is lasting a little long, people.” 

Clint sounded annoyed. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure we lost the element of surprise.” 

Following Tony’s lead on the opposite side alongside one of the lower-rung bases, not protected by that alien shield, the both of you fired on soldiers heading out of their barracks. Your eyes strayed to him as he spoke, “Wait a second, no one else is gonna deal with the fact that Cap just said language?” 

Despite the dire straits you found yourselves in, you couldn’t help the smile. “He’s been spending too much time with kids. Go easy on him.” 

Steve made a sound of resignation. “Look. It just slipped out.” 

You couldn’t help yourself. “We’re all about good, clean, family friendly fun here at the Avengers.” 

JARVIS cut into your good clean fun. “Sir, ma’am, the city is taking fire.” 

No. Your heart dropped right into your stomach. That was one of your worst fears. Immediately you broke dual formation with Tony, leaving him to circle the castle alone. “I’ll go deal with it.” 

“Honey, I need you here.” The both of you looked at each other from video screens. He wasn’t seriously telling you to let civilians take heat, was he? “Let’s send in the Iron Legion.” 

“I don’t know now is the right time for a trial run.” 

“Sometimes you gotta run before you can walk.” 

But he was waiting. Waiting for your permission. And waiting to see if you trusted him. He’d been working so hard on this one thing. It wasn’t Ultron- but it was what he had now. But to test proof of concept with real lives felt too dangerous. And careless. ...but you did trust him… 

JARVIS seemed to be waiting just as much as Tony was. “Ma’am?” 

You sighed, and doubled back midair. “Alright. Send them.” 

A new window popped open on your HUD and you moved it to the lower right hand corner. Iron Legion details. How many were flying out- five deployed, to be exact. Their status. They were moving, fast. Pre-loaded from the quinjet. At least Tony had come prepared. 

Just as you and Tony were taking out another lower bunker with a series of repulsor blasts, Natasha’s sudden cry startled you. “Clint!” 

Only seconds after, Steve spoke darkly. “Enhanced spotted in the field. I repeat, an enhanced is on the field.” 

Your heart was thundering in your ears. “What kind?” 

He sounded annoyed as he answered. “If I could see, I’d tell you.” 

You weren’t really sure what that meant. It really could have meant anything, but what it meant that was most important was that this enhanced was extremely dangerous. Natasha spoke again, “Clint’s hit! I need somebody to deal with that bunker!” 

This was going sideways. It felt hard to think. Tony had asked you to stay in the air with him, but everything was telling you you needed to get back to ground to help the rest of the team. It seemed Steve agreed, because he called your name next to Tony’s. “We really need to get inside!” 

Tony got to the punch first. “We’re closing in.” And then, a little less sure over the private channel, “JARVIS are we closing in?” 

Several schematics popped up in your immediate view. It was too much of a task to sift through them. Instead you asked, “Where’s the battery on this thing?” 

One of the blueprints came to the forefront and something locked as JARVIS answered. “There’s a pathway below the north tower.” 

“Great. Honey, let’s give it a poke.” As he barreled up and left, you took the right. Once up high enough you held your wrist out to match a targeted missile detonation on his mark. As the blast detonated, the blue wall crackled and then fell. “Drawbridge is down, people.” About as much signal as you got, following his lead as he plowed forward, headed right for the top tower. 

Steve and Thor were talking about the enhanced- nothing important. Which was why you didn’t feel bad going on private channel to Tony. “They’re probably dumping data right now, we have to hurry. ...and as much as they don’t deserve it, as little casualties as possible, please.” 

“Being the bigger people has not once yet felt rewarding. But, since you asked so nicely.” 

“Thank you.” 

Natasha broke up your conversation with something a little more relevant. “Clint’s hurt pretty bad, guys.” 

Thor replied, “I can get Barton to the jet. The sooner we're gone the better. You, Lady, and Stark secure the scepter.” 

Steve answered him. “Copy that.” 

It sounded like they got a little busy on the field, although not particularly in a very serious way. In the end Thor issued one command, “Find the scepter.” 

Tony couldn’t seem to help himself. “And for gosh sake, watch your language!” 

Steve’s defeated sigh had you holding back a little laughter. “That’s not going away any time soon, is it?” 

You tried to make him feel better. “Nothing wrong with being wholesome. Don’t let them bully you.” 

You spied Tony’s grin on his display window. “That part of your afterschool Cap-Hour PSA, too?” Him breaking through one of the windows of what appeared to be a lab cut the ribbing short. You were just behind him. Soldiers were aiming guns your way and the both of you were already taking fire. “Guys. Stop.” His tone was so very dry. “We gotta talk this through.” 

Your display converged with his as the targets locked, the mini-gun on his shoulder loaded up. Very pointedly all marks went to non-lethal places, mostly legs. Which had them all falling once the shots went off. 

He spoke again, “That was a good talk.” 

You couldn’t help yourself. “Very concise. Right to the point.” 

To your surprise, one of the soldiers actually answered in a groan of pain. “No it wasn’t…” 

In a quick jet as one remaining heat signature lit up in the room just beyond, the both of you came to a land just in the doorway. A man was at the console- LUNA ID’ed him as Dr. List- the one who had gotten away. He was standing in front of several large computer consoles. Presumably deleting everything. Tony was quicker than you, holding his hand up to fire off a repulsor blast that knocked him away and to the floor. 

Then, quicker still with a strange harried urgency, he released the suit, stepping out and hurrying over to the computers. Holding up one finger to the suit, while his other started typing, “Sentry mode.” His suit closed back up and started a low sweep of the room. Just keeping an eye on things. 

This felt dangerous. He really shouldn’t have given up the armor just yet. It was why you didn’t, though you did release your helmet. As you got closer to him, you saw what awaited the both of you on the screens. A big flashing deleting marquee. Tony unfolded a mini-tablet and stuck it on the side of the console. 

“Okay JARVIS. You know. I want it all.” Immediately switching that deleting to downloading after asking. 

You peered over his shoulder. “Did we lose a lot?” This data was important to somebody. ...Tony, it seemed like. For what reason you really couldn’t say. Then again, anything having to do with this alien tech probably pinged a lot of his interests. And maybe not necessarily in a good way. 

“Hard to say. JARVIS make sure to copy Hill at HQ.” It made sense for him to make that request. She was technically the head of Damage Control. But… the wiser part of you knew this was underground SHIELD business. It really didn’t matter one way or the other. 

Natasha broke the silence. “We’re locked down out here.” 

What a quick turn around. Only moments ago this felt pretty hopeless. Now all of a sudden your team had won? It was probably better not to question fate. You wanted to feel good about this… but your heart was still slamming in your chest. Something was off here. Your better sense was telling you… 

Tony turned from the computers to look at you. “You got something on your mind?” 

You’d probably pinged him accidentally. Your gaze, however, was sweeping around the room. There were shadows in the corners. It was cold. Impossibly cold. A shiver crept over your skin and you had to force yourself to stop. “Files are great but that’s not what we came here for. There’s something else here.” 

He nodded. “I agree. Hey, J, give me an IR scan of the room real quick.” 

A burst of red touched out across the room from the Iron Man suit. JARVIS spoke once it was finished. “The wall to your left. I'm reading steel reinforcement... and an air current.” 

The both of you looked at each other just once before moving over to said wall. He brushed up against it, pressing his palms flat over the brick. “Please be a secret door, please be a secret door, please be a secret door…” Just a little giddy at the prospect of such an overly cliched thing. 

Secret door in a villain hideout. Very fun stuff. 

Still… as he pushed his hands against the wall and it gave way, sliding to the side, you couldn’t help your little bubble of overt adoration while he leaned up a little on the balls of his feet with a tiny little, “Yay!” 

“Someone’s in a good mood.” And that one single shift in thinking had calmed you. 

“It’s not everyday you find yourself in a Scooby-Doo episode.” His grin was quick as he looked over his shoulder before going into the pathway. 

You were right behind him. “Shall we go find old man Jenkins?” 

“We shall.” 

The stairway you found yourselves descending was a little bit more than daunting. Dimly lit, a long way down. Really one long encased metal tube more than anything. And the further down you stepped the higher your alert was ringing. 

So much so that when Steve spoke just as you and Tony got closer to the bottom you actually jumped. “We have a second enhanced. Female. Do not engage.” 

That sent your heartbeat right back to painfully fast. You hadn’t even realized you were panting until Tony stopped just short of the bottom of the stairs, and reached a hand out to you. “We’re alright.” 

You clasped it with a small squeeze and gave him a nod. “I’ve got your back.” That second enhanced was clearly dangerous and clearly in the compound. You had to watch out for him. Protect him. Now was no time to get lost in panic. 

His smile settled you just enough to back off the edge. ...but as you both got to the bottom and entered a large warehouse, your terror came back tenfold. Steve signaled one of the last pieces of your mission, “Guys, I’ve got Strucker.” 

Tony one-upped him. “Yeah… I’ve got something bigger.” Hanging from the ceiling was one of those armored whales. And seeing it like this- 

Sounds of gunfire and guttural screaming lit up around you. Buildings were collapsing. 

Tony moving drew you out of it, but only a little. In an effort to keep up, you followed him closer into the room. And there, hooked up to machinery, finally, you saw the scepter. What they were doing with it, you had no idea. At least not yet. Tony would figure it out. But a familiar high pitched whine was the next sound to clog your consciousness. 

You remembered that noise. You remembered it very well. It was drawing you in. 

A yellow static emanated up and out and all too quickly you forced yourself to turn away. None of this was real. You were imagining it- but looking towards the left side of the room, you saw several tables. With very familiar looking robotic builds on top of them. They’d been using the scepter to try and replicate the Iron armors? Did that make sense? -...or were these Tony’s?? 

Coming closer to the table you leaned in, looking closer at one- 

And then very suddenly it was like someone had struck a match up your spine. A flurry of unhinged panic attacked you so strongly your knees went weak and you had to clutch the table for support. As soon as you had it in you, you whirled on your heel-

To see Tony standing there. Eyes open wide- and empty- yet terrified. Staring up at that whale. Sweat had started pouring from his brow. His breathing was erratic. And no matter how fast you wanted to rush to him, it felt like you were stuck in quicksand. 

But then your better consciousness broke free as a presence lurked up beside you. Behind you. And your own dark, angry fears took hold. Someone was whispering to you. And you would not let that happen. Not ever again. 

With a quick strike of your hand, blind and completely instinctual, you reached up and locked on to a wrist close to your face. And when you turned your head you saw her. Staring at you. A young woman- no- a kid really- long red hair and scared green eyes. She was there one moment- 

And gone the next. In a blur and a flash of wind. Not only that but it came back to knock you into the table. Nerves frayed as they were, you were quick to rebound onto your feet and fire a useless shot in any direction that made sense. But Tony’s fright was amping up- and it hit you like a tsunami. 

Vaulting over the other tables you let your jets carry you to the ground at his side. “Tony-” Trying to call to him. And when absolutely no cognizance showed- you put a hand on his shoulder. And that’s when you felt it. How off balance he was. And just how much he was drowning.

In the very next blink you were no longer there. You saw him with that second set of eyes. And he was awash in a blood-red glow. Struggling.

Laying both your hands against his chest over his heart, you settled the waves beneath the both of you, and focused. When that wasn’t enough, you gripped him harder. The edges started cracking. It hurt. You felt like you were taking it all in, watching as it seeped in through your skin and bubbled underneath your veins, working its way up- every inch like a knife cutting deeper and deeper until your entire being lit up in that crimson light. Everything went dark around you. 

Just the both of you. 

But with one last concentrated push- one wail of pain you broke him free. Lifting your hands as you felt that power travel back down in a quick bolt, all aimed at your heart- but when you extended your hands and sent one last burst into the air, you expelled it all. Something had happened, and as you went down on your knees you cast your gaze skyward, watching the shift of a takeover as brand new pinks raced across the sky-

His gasp for air drew your attention forward and present, and you swayed, feeling consciousness wane. The both of you reached for the lab table at the same time, steadying yourselves in mirror-moves. Almost like you were briefly one being just struggling to stay upright. He was quicker to regain himself, though not necessarily his composure, and as he looked at you, you felt- 

You felt- 

Some deep unsettled despair from him. And when he paired it with a touch of his hand at your cheek- and the look in his eyes- unhinged and- -...it was like the look he got- that he used to get- when he thought about- ...when he’d gone through the wormhole- and- and-

In the next shallow breath you barely were able to draw, you felt a million miles away as your vision circled the drain. It surprised you, to hear yourself crying as you barely voiced the only immediate thought that mattered. “I’m gonna pass out-” About as honest as you could be before everything went dark a second time. 

                                                               ---

They were so close to the end-goal. Secret passages meant big, hidden secrets behind them. And Tony had been pretty sure they were about to hit paydirt and make all of this worth it. Even more so than it already was. But the further they got down those steps, the harder she hit him. Unintentionally, he knew. Sometimes he wondered if she even was aware of just how bad she got sometimes- 

But she was all over the place, and he needed her to steady out. So he turned, offering her a lifeline, reaching his hand up to her, making sure his eyes were steady on hers, and that his voice gave nothing away. “We’re alright.” 

It seemed to soothe her over quick enough, something that always made him feel better. She clasped his hand, “I’ve got your back.” Always genuinely reassuring. And with that goal in mind, she became a little more focused. 

At least until they actually hit the bottom of the stairs and entered a room he almost wished they hadn’t. He hadn’t been prepared enough to see that Chitauri whale hanging from the ceiling in a vice, mouth half open. In tact. How in the hell had they stolen this? Steve said something- he answered- but he wasn’t really paying attention. 

She was moving around the room. And he wasn’t watching her, either. The scepter was right in front of them. They could take it and go. That’s what he wanted to do. But he found himself staring at it… 

And in the very next moment the sound of the chains above him rattling and then snapping urged his attention up. Too slow, as that armored whale dropped down with a monstrous roar. He put his hands up to try and shield himself and rammed into the table as it flew by. Breaking through the building- 

Drawing him deep down into a black void. He followed it- about as far as a hill littered with bodies. 

Their bodies. Hulk was lying face down, twitching, impaled several times through the back. Natasha- Clint- Thor- Steve- all down. Dying or… dead. 

 Cap’s shield was split in two.

He felt himself shivering, breathing hard as he approached. And seeing her made his knees give out completely. He dropped aside her, turning her head, fingers heavy on her neck as he put his other arm around her and hoisted her half onto his lap. Trying to find a pulse while clinging to her. Blood was leaking from her eyes- her nose- her mouth- she was battered and bruised and- there was a hole in her chest-

No pulse. This was a unique devastation unlike anything he’d ever felt- 

That was until she reached up suddenly, startling him, hand tight around his wrist. Her voice was a choke of tears. “Tony- you… you promised… you promised we’d… be okay...” 

He swallowed hard as the rest of her light died right in front of him, her hand slipping away, eyes just… empty. It felt like she’d taken him with her. 

Why didn’t you do more?

A murmur in the shape of too many voices. Floating above him, another whale captured his attention, and his head fell back, feeling the energy bleeding out of him in long draws. He wasn’t going to last here much longer. He didn’t deserve to. 

Up above him- beyond this hill spattered with bodies he’d failed to protect- the wormhole stared back at him. New York City- no the world- was under siege again- and he- 

Tony. 

Her voice jolted him just a little and his eyes fell to her lifeless body again. He cradled her face in his hands, sure that he would die here with her. 

At least he thought so- but it felt like someone was pounding on his chest- and the next slam into reality was a hard one. He barely caught himself on the lab table, breathing so hard it felt like his heart would give out- it might have- 

Wait. Lab table. Lab. He was in Sokovia. Of course he was in Sokovia- 

He’d had some sort of traumatic episode and she- Whipping his head up he caught sight of her also struggling to keep herself upright. Alive. Apparently she’d shared the burden with him. With a shaking hand he reached out to her, begged for verification- her skin was clammy but blazing hot as he made contact, fingers brushing at her temple and then down, holding her face in his hand as they stared at each other.

There was a strange glow in her eyes. Not the usual one-

He almost found his body again. But a hitch of a sob broke from her throat. A drop of blood trickled from her nose. Her pupils were wildly dilated. She looked crazed and unsure of herself. Unsure of anything. That made two of them.

“I’m gonna pass out-” 

Down she went not a single second after saying so, and he impressed himself, having enough strength to catch her before she cracked her head open on the corner of the table. Moving down into a kneel, he held her close, still panting. Sweat leaking from his forehead. 

“Cap I need-” He was aware how terrible he sounded, and he pulled every last energy resource he owned to even out. “Cap, JARVIS will guide you. I need you on my location. As soon as possible.” 

“Copy that. I’m headed your way.” 

Tony was glad he didn’t ask why. And when he looked at her again, that vision of her cut in between each blink of his eyes. 

You promised… 

He was still struggling to breathe.