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Codependency With Spirit

I know, kind of a harsh way to put it. Fortunately, I don’t believe Spirit, God, Universe, is going to take it personally.

So many of us spend a large portion of our existence confused about our worth and looking for someone or something to make us feel the feelings we believe worthiness feels like. Midlife crisis, as they call it, tends to be a point where if you haven’t figured out a certain set of understandings you either get hit hard with something that forces you to deal with it, or maybe in some cases you get a big dose of grace. We all know what codependent relationships are, and a lot of us get to this point in our lives where that’s the thing we need to overcome. Codependency doesn’t have to be a me and you thing. In most cases, it’s a need for validation from your relationship with your surroundings.

We have moments where we get glimpses of how it’s supposed to be to push you forward, and we build on these moments or they miss us entirely. And of course, as any online psychologist will tell you, it’s from your childhood. Either you were loved too much and not able to trust in your own abilities or not loved enough and lacked trust in intimacy. The truth is most of us have a little of both in the wrong places. Chances are the people that raised you had their own dysfunctional upbringing. It’s like (and I use this scenario a lot for some reason) when you play an old school video game, the way of mastering is through trial and error. You get a little farther each time. With humans, it seems this gets spread out through generations. We get a little wiser because our predecessors had learned the hard way. Of course, there are always exceptions. I’m describing what seems like a pattern in life. The spiritual aspect of all this comes into play because I think the time we decide to change in a big way is also when we ‘wake up.’ Which, to me, feels an awful lot like learning a whole new set of lessons. I have a few theories as to what and how it comes into being, but nothing officially backed by cold hard facts, so I’m pondering this still. This is also a lesson of mine.

What I do know from experience is that the things we’re healing from are going to keep coming at you in different ways. Like an obstacle course to test your agility in situations that subtly provoke that same type of reaction or behavior from the big scary thing you climbed out through. Finding yourself shaking your fist at the sky shouting, “Ok, I get it! Why are we reliving this?” Because we most likely don’t get it. At least not completely.

We have these huge “Ah ha!” moments that give us profound depth of understanding and make us remember that there is so much more to this. To us! They sometimes give what us ADHDers would call a dopamine hit. A surge of good feeling you want to hang on to, only in a much bigger way because it hits deep. And if you’re lucky, it didn’t just swerve you into channeling all your energy into trying to recreate those startling moments over and over in self-damaging ways. This is where the title of this post comes into play.

As we understand that valuing ourselves and limiting our focus on the importance of how others perceive us, we often start a whole new obsession. Needing to feel that we’re doing it right. Be that in your spiritual journey or personal journey. One thing I’ve noticed, and experienced, is where you think you’re giving up the need for validation, you’ve just transferred it from another person to a group mindset, a practice, a belief, or yes, even Spirit.

Don’t get me wrong, developing a relationship with that deeper knowing is important and freeing. What isn’t is when we decide to use tactics to reassure ourselves constantly that we’re on the right track. As someone who regularly checks a certain horoscope, does tarot myself, and consumes similar content, I’m in no way suggesting that this is an 'other people' problem. Having a connection with your form of belief and practice is part of how we stay in the energy. It helps to build momentum. It's how we sometimes get insights into our understanding. Often this is how some come into who they are. The underlying issue that can come from anything where we are looking for guidance is we are not trusting our own guidance. We aren’t allowing our self-confidence, the thing we most of us are healing towards, to be embraced.

Now I sound like I think I have it all figured out, but just yesterday I took every little synchronized thing in a reading to mean that I was on my way to great things. Did it give me confidence? Yes, and I went on thinking about how much I really needed to get back to meditating more to tap into that deeper part of myself better.

I believe that we have spiritual guidance and a connection. I do in fact believe we are given signals and sometimes messages in the weirdest, wildest ways. I believe that there is a deep love in this connection. I believe that our words matter, and I believe that I have no idea what any of it means.

Through ‘unreal’ situations, occurrences, and what I can only describe as a knowing, I know there’s some mystical magical spiritualness to all of this. Maybe that is the real meaning of synchronistic moments, to say, "Hey, I'm here." What I also know is we are learning and growing, and for whatever reason, that’s the purpose. And I believe that Spirit is not teaching us all of these lessons to stop trusting ourselves and what we are capable of knowing and being. I also believe we get moments of grace also because we are human and 'humaning' is hard.

So I’m absolutely sure I’ll keep consuming content that makes me go ‘Holy crap no way! That’s exactly my situation.’ I’ll read my daily horoscope, I’ll continue to read about ways to tap in and speak with my guides, and I’ll keep seeking. But what I’m holding myself to NOT do is forget that all of this is to allow me to grow into my divinity and my true self. Not forgetting this is for me to experience the best life for myself, my family, and the greater good. In all good relationships, we have to learn about how trust is what makes it thrive. Trust that Spirit (in whichever way you believe Spirit to be) has your best interests in mind, and trust that yes, you are that magnificent being Spirit, God, Your Guides, Angels, keep trying to let you know that you are.

Source: Codependency With Spirit