#It felt adjacent to the unreal feeling I've experienced but definitely not the same | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shanedoesdoodles · 7 months

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You ever look for a specific word/thing to describe a feeling you're having and think you've found it but as you look more into it it turns out it was a simular concept but very distinct from what you were looking for? And then when you try to be more specific everything that pulls up is still the same close but definitely not the same thing to describe it? I'm a stuck in a bit of a loop at the moment

#Been having this odd feeling of just. Nothing being real I guess. Or just me not being real or events not feeling real #I was trying to find a word for what I was experiencing and found 'Depersonalization' and 'Derealization'#(I think I spelled those correctly)#From a first glance the descriptions fit perfectly but as I read more in depth it. Didn't quite fit #It felt adjacent to the unreal feeling I've experienced but definitely not the same #It's like a different flavor #I don't feel detached to my surroundings and myself #I just. Don't feel very real. Or at least very human at least #I don't say that as in im something more than human or anything like that #More like something about me specifically just falls short of being one #And with the events thing it's more just like so much has happened and they've all been so bizarre that they just.#Don't feel real either!#Like yes I'm still experiencing them and being effected by them #But it feels more like the way dreams or over dramatic stories go if that makes since #I still haven't found the right words for these feelings. I hope I do eventually.#I feel like knowing what's causing it/what it is would help ground me more #Whatever it is those two words definitions/symptoms just don't feel right #Does this count as a vent?? I mean it not really a solely negative feeling #I do feel like it could be upsetting/unsettling to others and my come off as venty so I'll mark it as such just in case #tw vent

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