#It goes along with my headcanon of suicide attempt somewhere in his first out second year of teaching and Minerva being aware

[snapeaddict]

Hi, I have been reading you're posts. And I love them. Could you do one like, during a Christmas Party and Snape despises it.. he is forced to join or something like that. I would really love to read them. Tq.

"It's been four years. Do you know how many steps there are from Albus' quarters to yours? And he comes here every year anyway."

"I really do not feel guilty over this, Minerva. May I remind you the headmaster pays me a visit at least twice a week? I don't see how this changes from the usual."

Minerva leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms.

"Well, everytime he joins us back with a sad expression on his face. That is not usual."

Severus put the parchment he had been writing on back in one of his desk' drawers, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you really trying to guilt trip me?" he asked, half smiling.

"Well, I figured out Albus had no tried this tactic already", Minerva sighed.

"That is correct. But despite all of your efforts, I'm still not coming at the staff party, thank you." He watched as she sat in front of him, pouring herself a cup of tea that wasn't supposed to be have been there for her. She challenged him with a look, wanting to see if he would say anything, but Severus, at 25 years old, respected her too much for that. It would take him another five years to friendly insult her without any kind of remorse.

He just sighed and got up to fetch another cup.

"You don't think you are spending the evening here, do you, Minerva? Because I have things to do and you have Christmas Eve to celebrate, as you have all been so eager to remind me these past two weeks."

But the look of seriousness on Minerva's thin face did not change, on the contrary.

"Would you tell me why you dislike Christmas so much?" she asked him, her voice softer than it had been. "Or does it have something to do with us?"

"Of course it has nothing to do with you", he replied, rolling his eyes, sitting back in front of her. He hesitated. "It's just not... an event I mentally associate with positive feelings."

"I understand." She was thoughtful for a few seconds, before speaking again. "I remember quite distinctly Christmas day when I was three years old - it was a few days after my father learnt my mother was a witch. It took me time to think about something else when the time comes."

She looked at him encouragingly. He seemed to hesitate, frowning a little, his eyes locked on his half drank tea.

"My father... He wasn't exactly a pleasant man. We did not have money for a Christmas tree, or for any sort of gifts, but he always found enough money to get drunk on this day. I actually thought it was a very sad day compared to what the other children talked about at school afterwards."

Minerva was about to ask him if his school years had been any different, as she remembered most times he stayed at the school, but he anticipated.

"Of course Hogwarts was better. Potter and his friends weren't here, no Slytherin remained during the Christmas holidays. I liked this sudden loneliness. But there were still... Things I missed, or disliked."

The laughters of his house mates as there was no one to welcome him home during the holidays. Lily's wonderful stories about her own celebrations. Wondering if his mum would think about him and send him something. She always did in the end, but he would hide it as it was nothing comparable to what the others had received, especially in a house where wealth was so important.

Feeling left out, and poor, and unwanted. Early memories.

Minerva understood. She understood well.

"So brewing down here must seem like a much better alternative", she concluded, something sounding like guilt in her voice.

"Indeed."

He seemed to think the conversation was over. She did not.

"But Severus, now there are people who do want to celebrate with you. With gifts. Like me."

Severus looked surprised. He had got her a bottle, quite expensive actually and he hoped she would like it, but he had not considered the fact she could get him something as well. Yes, it was true his fourth year of teaching was easier than the previous ones, and Minerva was one of the main reasons why.

"It would be a pity to miss this opportunity you weren't offered before. I promise it's exactly as Christmas should be. Warm, cozy, a game of chess, alcohol, pudding. And Pomona wanted to see you as well..."

Minerva knew it wasn't only Albus who had been a bad negociator. This year things had really changed between Severus and the staff, between him and her, and she knew he rather enjoyed their company now, even if always a little awkward. And she knew Severus needed to feel like he belonged somewhere, more than he needed to know about the importance of socialising or all the things there were to eat or how he would beneficiate from it. She looked at him.

"You know things are different this year. Don't you think it's time to link Christmas to positive memories? Finally something we can actually improve, if not make up for."

He hesitated. Actually, he was more afraid to disturb than to speak with his colleagues, and he felt Minerva was telling the truth; it was, after all, the first time she had come to see him, while he knew the headmaster had done it out of duty, at least the first year. What he saw in his colleague's eyes... Was it... hope? Some kind of stammering... friendship?

But Severus always pushed people away. He always did.

"Honestly, Severus, don't trust your instincts here. Trust me instead, just tonight", Minerva said softly, very aware of his doubts. Severus sighed internally. Was he so easy to read?

"Very well," he replied quietly.

Minerva looked overjoyed, getting up excitingly.

"That is wonderful news! The others won't believe it... I promise it will be worth your time", she added, smiling to him.

So this was how Severus got up to follow her as they left his quarters to go up to the staffroom, already late as it was eight thirty. He was careful to hide his present behind his back, as well as the usual socks he had gotten for Albus. He would have given them to his colleagues at breakfast otherwise...

"Don't tell me this was a bet between you and the headmaster", Severus said casually, as they opened the door.

"Unfortunately, it wasn't. Because the headmaster is not fun and dislikes bets. But... Do you like bets, Severus? For I do like them a lot..." Minerva grinned.

"Severus, my boy you came!" Albus happily interrupted them, as Pomona knowingly took the gifts off his hands and put them under the Christmas tree.

"I had hoped you would", she then told him, offering him a glass of wine. "There's much I'd like to discuss with you!"

-

Two hours later, Minerva watched as Albus and Severus interrupted a game of chess to let everyone exchange their gifts, the young Potions Master blushing as Pomona gifted him a plant she had secretly grown for him. His black eyes turned to look at her and she smiled to him in response.

Carefully, making sure no one was looking, he mouthed the words "thank you", before turning back to his game, frowning in concentration. Albus nodded knowingly at Minerva, his eyes sparkling, before returning to the game as well.

Ah, this would become another tradition. She knew it.

And it seemed she had finally found a betting partner...

(Thank you for four you kind words and this prompt, dear ! ❤️)