#It's because im not doing my school work and therefore failing my classses

[benreyfaggot]

I love being referred to as smart dont get me wrong, but it’d be nice if people stopped. Like i get it im smart, you dont have to pull out any evidence i know im smart, but i know that when people call me smart its rarely entirely a compliment

“You’re smart so why did you do that?” “You’re smart, so you should know how to do this.” “You’re smart! Why dont you want to do something with that?” I get it i get it, you expect more from intelligent people but the thing is that im smart enough to know that i do not have the other characteristics that would make me capable of certain things. The reason i do certain things is rarely out of dumbness but rather different intelligence.

Yes im probably smart enough to be a doctor or other high paying well respected worker in society, but i know that i would experience no joy from those lifestyles since they are incredibly difficult to get to and/or maintain. Why become a doctor when i still would get payed well to be a mortician, a job id actually want and wouldn't constantly overwork myself doing (also probably would deal with a bit less vomit and stuff saying that by the time id get my patient anything inside them would be expelled via natural forces)

And of course im not a genius, im just smart and self aware. It’s awful trying to receive mental help because no one understands that while i know exactly what’s wrong i just dont know exactly how to fix it! Yes i have depression and oodles of trauma from almost every source in my life, that doesn’t mean know how to fix said depression and trauma!

I hate being smart, it makes me feel so dumb and makes me realize most people are idiots.