#It's four thirty in the morning and I have been slam-dunked back into Cyrano Hell... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theimpossiblescheme · 5 months

Text

Say what you will about the Cyrano movie (and one day I'll be able to in a halfway articulate manner), but I am still mildly obsessed with "Every Letter", and I think about this ending couplet all the time...

Your letters are drawings on me from above I know who you are and I know you are loved

Just... the idea of Cyrano and Christian receiving a letter in return from Roxanne and feeling their breath catch both with ecstasy and with bitter regret.

I know who you are...

But she can't. But she mustn't. But it would break her heart--she would never trust them again. But it wouldn't be fair to Christian. But Cyrano could never show his face again. But they already feel themselves burn under her gaze, and to meet it honestly without the armor of a soldier, of these letters, would scorch them until nothing remains. But the only true honor is to hide, even if they know it's really the coward's way out. But the only safety (if they were being brutally honest with themselves) is to hide.

... and I know you are loved.

But God, they wish they didn't have to.

#It's four thirty in the morning and I have been slam-dunked back into Cyrano Hell...#Listen okay ever since the movie introduced the idea of *Roxanne actually writing back* I have been even less normal about these idiots.#The imagery is so fucking delicious either way because you get to imagine either the two of them sitting close enough together #that they can both read either together or over the other's shoulder and just... occupying that space together the two nearly becoming one #and I get to lose my mind over the proximity and the warmth between them forged in the fire of their love for Roxanne.#OR *or or*... the two of them taking turns reading and just *watching* the other's face as they read trying to glean from their expressions #what she might have said and the intensity of that study becoming its own terrible intimacy that right now they can only show through proxy #and I *also* get to lose my mind over Cyrano watching Christian and musing that even if his partner might look like a marble statue #he's never seen a marble statue make that face before but he's *definitely* seen it from Roxanne and it's just as coronary-inducing on both #and Christian watching Cyrano and musing that this might be the closest he'll ever come to seeing the pride of the cadets #and the mythic figure he's built around himself completely *shatter* if only for a moment... he's *human* and he's *exquisite.*#CANNOT be normal about it... it's 'So--here's my heart under your velvet now'--#it's 'I've loved but one (man) in my life and now I must lose him twice'--#it's the darkness of the balcony and the endless sunshine metaphors regarding Roxanne herself--#it's the goddamn Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and how much Roxanne *craves* it from two men terrified to submit to it...#God these three make me sick I love them so much.#cyrano de bergerac

12 notes · View notes