#Ive secretly fallen in love with this dumbass

[spicyraeman]

Hella old sketches but i'm hoping finally posting them will get me to actually draw more of him. Anyyyywayyy this is Lynks ex Luci! Hes a shithead and fuckboy working as a solo artist under the MSM label

[hmslusitania]

Listen, i don’t even know if you like gaiman or stardust, but if you do, who do you think would be a himbo on adventure and who would be a sassy star?

Anon, my darling, of course I love Stardust.

Anyway, this poses an interesting challenge because like. One thinks of the quintessential himbo and one immediately thinks of Evan Buckley.

Who, attempting to Romance village pretty girl Taylor, would absolutely do something peak dumbass and cross the Wall to go find a fallen star, Eddie, who goes out of his way to sass Buck at every opportunity only for them to fall in love and choose to be together while, surprise, turns out Buck is secretly prince of Stormhold.

But also (and we’re going off movie!Stardust here because it has been…far too long since Ive read the book) since the star has a hurt leg, that makes one think of Buck also. In which case it would be Eddie, looking to provide for his family since his wife is in the process of leaving him and he could definitely use the money, crossing the Wall to find a fallen star since that would keep him and Christopher set for life. Except, of course, the star turns out to be a person. That Eddie falls in love with.

But honestly? If I were to actually write a Stardust fusion? I think it would be Madney.

Featuring Chimney, who was left in the Lees inglenook fireplace as a baby (and Chimney is a much better name than Inglenook so), and who, desperate to win the affections of local beauty Tatiana, promises to bring her the falling star.

Except, of course, the fallen star turns out to be an even more beautiful woman who actually laughs at his jokes and makes him laugh as well. And they get caught up in some marvellous adventures in Stormhold including their time aboard the bizarrely named lightning catcher ship, the 118 helmed by Captain Nash.

And they discover, eventually, that the lost princess of Stormhold’s royal family was Chimney’s mother, and so they become the King and Queen of Stormhold.

And probably, at some point, Maddie invites her favourite stellar sibling down to the ground with her and he probably gets a little too fixated with the lighting chasers and ends up working with Captain Nash and falling for one of the crew, Eddie.

But the crucial thing is that any way you slice it, they all live happily ever after.

[space-------kid]

can’t keep my hands (off you).

Anime/Manga: One Punch Man Pairing: Garou/fem!Reader Additional pairing/characters: platonic Metal Bat/fem!Reader, Zenko, mentions of other heroes such as Saitama, Watchdog Man, etc. Genre: Romance, comedy Warning: Absolute silliness. Language – Garou and reader both ate rainbows for breakfast. Dumbassery. Teeth-rotting fluff, maybe? Reader is hella strong like Saitama. Half-assed spice because you’re good at cockblocking Garou despite being low-key thirsty for him. And LOTS of dumbassery from the reader, most probably. Additional tag: Dream-based fic, canon-divergent, Garou is horny af A/N: This is supposed to be a lengthy one-shot, but I’m a dumbass who can’t keep my word so the supposedly one-shot isn’t a one shot anymore.  Now I have to worry how I should properly divide all those parts (I mean, they’re already divided, but–) 😅 Happy New Year! *snicker*

You and Garou continue being friends. And he still couldn’t get enough of your thighs, damn it.

Summary:

Your life had its general ups and downs, pros and cons, the good and the bad.

You were admittedly a coward and afraid of being targeted by people for it. Following the advice of your (best) friend you trained hard, like, FUCKING hard, and now you’re blessedly, utterly strong you can take down enemies with just one hit. A good thing, really. Can’t let any bad guy harass you or something.

But-

You were probably cursed with the biggest, baddest of luck. Not only were monsters chasing you, suddenly there was this fucking hot bastard weirdo who kept on calling himself the Hero Hunter. “I’m not a hero, goddamn it!”

i. and ii. | iii. and iv. | v. | vi. | [more to be added]

“i can’t keep my

hands

off…!”

- can’t keep my hands off you/simple plan

vii.

You were acting skittish around him, and not because of his constant teasing.

Garou was secretly thankful that you weren’t stupid like other people despite being such a dumbass sometimes. He liked that you were being straightforward with him, and it was something that he could appreciate at the moment.

He also loved liked the fact that despite coming to terms that he was indeed the wanted Hero Hunter, you never actually banned him from going in and out of your home as he pleased.

“I mean, I really am a dumbass, right?” you were telling him as he watched you cooked dinner for the both of you. Garou had uncharacteristically held off his hero hunting to discuss things with you, and he could see how relieved you were about it.

“You already told me yourself who you are the first time we met and here I am, still surprised that I’m actually letting the Hero Hunter inside my home!” you continued. Your expression turned contrite when you turned to look at him. “B-But that didn’t mean that you’re not allowed here anymore! I’m just too shocked by my sheer dumbassery to actually- a-and you’re just beating heroes up and not killing them, I heard, so… fuck my logic, right? But as long as you’re not outright murdering anyone, I don’t have the right to tell you to stop doing whatever you want with your life, right? I know you don’t need someone telling you that and-“

He shouldn’t even be here in your house right now. He should’ve left the moment you broached the topic about his identity. But just as Garou thought that you would ask him not to return anymore or else you’d call for help (not that you needed it, anyway), here you were: telling him that he was still free to come and go to your home as he pleased.

What kind of a coward would let a wanted criminal to enter their home as they pleased? A dumbass, you said it yourself.

“If you’re scared of telling me to leave, don’t be,” Garou told you insouciantly. “All you gotta do is ask, jeez.”

You shot him a dumbfounded look at quickly shook your head. “Why would I do that?” you asked him, flabbergasted. “I told you already that you’re still allowed here, did I?”

He frowned at you, steadily feeling annoyed by the wary light in your eyes and how it contradicted with your shaky yet genuine words. Could you decide which of the two you would remove off of you already?

“Then decide if you should be scared or sincere already, for fuck’s sake!” he barked at you, making you squeak and nearly drop the ladle you were holding. Garou caught the thing when you threw it at him in retaliation, glaring half-heartedly and pouting at him.

“I AM sincere, you dork! And maybe I’m just feeling scared because I don’t want my best friend to throw me in jail himself or beat you up because he might think that-“

You stopped talking, looking as if you said something that you shouldn’t have and turned your back to him. Garou narrowed his eyes at your behaviour, curiosity gleaming in his golden eyes.

Why did you just suddenly sport that ‘shit I fucked up’ expression?

The self-proclaimed Hero Hunter crossed the distance between the two of you in a few quick strides and corralled you against the kitchen counter, arms caging you between his body and the countertop in front of you. Garou could see your body tense at the proximity, couldn’t stop himself from admiring your exposed skin thanks to your hair tied up in a messy bun and the tank top you were wearing. He was so close, he could practically nuzzle his nose against your neck should he dip his head down to your level-

Nope, not now, though. He had a curiosity to sate at the moment.

“And why would your best friend beat me up, huh? Lock you up in jail?” he questioned, raising a brow at you when you peeked up at him over your shoulder. Garou fought the urge to grin at your flushed face but he wasn’t opposed to the idea of flustering you further.

Wait a damn moment. How did he get from teasing you in hopes of awakening the thing that took over your body to defend yourself TO teasing you just to see how you looked like while blushing?

Oh, right. You and your fucking thighs, Garou answered himself. But back to more current pressing matters….

You looked away again and stuttered a reply.

“B-Because he m-m-might want t-to! C-Can’t anyone do t-that?” was your shitty excuse.

Man, you could really be a dumbass.

Garou leaned his body towards you, his broad chest touching your back. You let out a surprised squeak at the contact, trying but failing not to take notice of the hard planes of his muscles against the fabric of your clothes.

“[Name],” he whispered in your ear. The gasp he elicited from you sounded so good, and Garou could feel his self-control slipping just a tiny bit. He bit back a groan when you pressed your back against his chest in an attempt to push him off of you.

“C-Come on, haven’t you heard o-of citizen’s a-a-arrest or s-something?” you yelled at him indignantly, your voice turning up a pitch higher in your panic. “Bat is just-“

“Bat?” Garou asked you, perplexed. Did he just mishear you, or…? “I thought you said your best friend’s name was Badd?”

You hurriedly turned around to face him and planted your hands on his chest, pushing him away weakly. Garou, however, didn’t budge and kept his questioning gaze on you.

“That’s what I said! Badd!” you lied frantically, eyes shut tight as you continued your feeble attempts. Damn, where was your strength when you needed it?

Too bad for you, Garou was secretly the sharpest tool in the shed. He was quick to pick up on the erratic pitch of your voice and sudden ungainly body language. “He’s a hero, ain’t he? Your best friend?”

“He’s not!”

You could lie all you want, but you’re not fooling him anymore.

Garou should be angry. He really should. After all, being lied to was one of the things he hated the most. But the reason for your deceit was not to harm anyone – he could clearly see that you were hell-bent into uttering a falsehood just so you could protect your (hero) best friend as well as Garou himself. Not that he needed your protection, but-

He almost smiled at the concern you were inadvertently showing him. More so when he heard what you had to say next.

“He’s not!” you lied still. “And what if he is? I-I can’t let my friends beat each other up, you dummy!”

Ah. Garou should have expected that you two were way past being acquaintances with how much he had been frequenting your home and interacting with you. The thought of being friends with you struck a chord in him that had long since fallen asleep ever since he was bullied as a kid.

You might be a dumbass sometimes, but you were still quite welcoming despite all the previous scares and continuous teasing he put you up with. And aside from making it his goal to fluster you (as his stupid teenage hormones commanded him), Garou found the companionship rather… nice. Not that spending time with that kid at the park and reading the Hero Guide Booklet together wasn’t something he wouldn’t call a form of camaraderie. Maybe spending time with someone his age without having a care in the world was something he sort of sought and found in you.

Garou had no qualms being a lone wolf, but he won’t deny that human interaction  – well, aside from beating heroes up, that is – was a nice change of pace in the life he now led as the Hero Hunter.

You were a coward, but you were never judgmental. And that was one of the things he quite liked about you, if truth be told, other than your perfect thighs-

And there went his mind again. He had seen women sexier and much prettier than you, so why were you the only one who piqued this kind of interest on him, the kind that he usually didn’t even bother entertaining?

And you calling him friend right now wasn’t exactly helping-

“Are you gonna beat my best friend up, then? If I tell you he’s a hero?”

Garou blinked at your distressed question and leaned down at you, grabbing your wrists and placing your arms around his shoulders while he grinned at you playfully.

“I don’t even know which of those damned heroes is your friend,” he told you jauntily. “Ah! Maybe the reason why you didn’t tell me is because he’s weak? Scared I’ll beat him to a pulp, [Name]?”

He was just making fun of you, you told yourself. But Garou implying that your best friend wouldn’t hold his own against the silver-haired male pushed you into your protective mode. People could badmouth you all they wanted, but to hell with it if they demean your number one supporter and his little sister!

“How dare you?! Badd is way stronger than me! He can beat you up real easily!” you angrily defended your best friend. Not realizing that Garou was riling you up into telling you who Badd really was, you unwittingly took the bait and could only stop yourself the last second.

“He’ll beat you up and it’ll be a piece of cake for him ‘cause he’s Metal Ba-“

Hurriedly, you stopped yourself and pulled your arms off of him to cover your mouth with your hands. Eyes the size of the moon, you winced when Garou gave you a look as if he’d hit the jackpot.

“Ding, ding! And so she finally tells me who her best friend is,” he tells you in a sing-song manner, grin splitting from ear to ear now. “And what a surprise, he turns out to be S-Class, rank 15!”

The look you gave him was full of annoyance at being one-upped and ire directed at your own folly. You covered your face to muffle the frustrated whine bubbling from your throat and mindlessly shoved your head on his chest.

Caught off guard at your sudden movement, Garou raised his hands but not quite knowing what to do with them. He settled for patting your head with one hand, his ears turning pink when you unconsciously purred(?) like a cat at the action.

“You’re gonna hunt him now, aren’t you?” you asked him, your voice muffled. “You’re gonna hunt Badd, and there’s nothing I could do to stop you from doing so.”

Garou huffed, hand still petting your hair gently. “Yep. Nothin’ you can do about it.”

This was it. Guess he had to cut your friendship short since he didn’t really want to make you choose between some guy you just met recently and the one you call your best friend.

He was the Hero Hunter, and you were a civilian with a pro-hero for a best friend.

What an uncanny arrangement.

You shuffled slightly and craned your neck to look up at him, your eyes wide and imploring. “Can I make a request, though? Like, don’t try to kill Badd, maybe? Since there’s no stopping you from being the Hero Hunter and I can’t exactly dictate you to drop the act…”

Garou gaped at you, face filled with incredulity. Did you just give him the permission to fight your best friend as long as he didn’t commit murder? And did you just imply that you accepted him for who he was?

And it’s as if Garou was actively trying to kill those he beat up

He watched as your eyes filled with awe and admired the way your cheeks turned red when he smiled at you – and a genuine one at that. Garou squished your cheeks with his hands and lowered his face to yours, his smile turning roguish when you blushed harder at the proximity.

“And what if Metal Bat kills me, huh? Don’t you think that’s a bit unfair?” he questioned. “Can’t make a request like that if it’s gonna put me at a disadvantage, y’know. But… I might be willing if-”

One of his hands crept down and poked your thighs with a finger.

“-I get a handful of these?”

Garou dodged, laughing, when you swung a hand up at him for a slap.

“Pervert! Leave my thighs alone, thirsty bastard!”

---

to be continued

[firstwefinish]

all the numbers on the asks thing

ARE YOU SERIOUS ANON?? i accept this challenge…..

do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? sure! why not

when did your last hug take place? lol like 5 min ago thx mom

are you a jealous person? idk i try not to be. i just get a little upset when i work hard for something and it doesnt get recognized  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

are you tired right now? nah not really

do you chew on your straws? yesssss i know its a problem lol

have you ever been called a tease? LMAO NOPE do you even know me????????

have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? god no i might die

do you cry easily? uh yeah but i try to avoid those situations at All Cost

what should you be doing right now? homework probably. but really i should be painting

are you a heavy sleeper? no way i wake up super easily

do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months? yeah probably! i mean ive never really been in a significant relationship but i might be able to lol

are you mad at someone right now? no not really!

do you believe in love? yesss!!!! hit me with that love shit

what makes you laugh no matter what? MONSTER FACTORY

who was the last person you talked to? my hermano

do you get butterflies around the person you like? idk i dont really have a crush rn but i think i do usually??

will you get married? probably!! i think weddings are super adorable

when was the last time you smiled? like 10 min ago in the car

does anyone like you? as a friend? hopefully. romantically? doubt it

do you secretly hate someone? nah

who was the first person you talked to today? my padre

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? my bfffff kara!

what are you not looking forward to? doing my dumbass macro hw

what are you looking forward to? COLLEGE!

has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you and meant it? NOPE LMAO

suppose you see your ex kissing another person, what would you do? havent really had an ex but id probably just like run outta there

do you plan on moving out within the next year? yes! of to college!!

are you a forgiving person? depends. if theyve done something bad to my friend nope not at all. but if theyve done something bad to me? yeah idc about myself 

how many true friends do you have? probably a handful. like around 5 id say

do you fall for people easily? ugh yes unless theyre garbage and i can tell that pretty easily

have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? NO GOD NO

what’s the last thing you put in your mouth? uh? probably my nails ITS SO GROSS IK

who was the last person you drove with? my padre

how late did you stay up last night and why? i was watching bob ross on twitch and it was the BEST DECISION EVER

if you could move somewhere else would you? yes!!! san fran take me to your beautiful streets

who was the last person you took a picture of? myself lmao

can you live a day without tv? probably? with insta and tumblr i would b fine

when was the last time you were extremely disappointed? idk im p chill so i dont really get extremely disappointed. i mean everything is super temporary so nothing matters atm???? thats probably not a healthy outlook on life but whatevs

three names you go by: emma, em, iris

are you currently in a relationship? nah

what is your all-time favorite romance movie? im not a super big fan of romance movies but if i had to choose one it would be the proposal. ok its a romcom but thats like the same thing right???

do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate? yes!

what is your current problem? i hate macroeconomics and my professor is an asshat

have you ever had your heart broken? nah. again, dont really care about anything lmao. plus i can spot assholes from a mile away so i Stay Away from most potential heartbreakers 

your thoughts of long distance relationships? i think its totally good for some people! i think i might fail at it because im a shitty texter but go for it if you can do it!

how many kids do you want to have? idk if i even want kids. but probably like at least 2 but no more than 3

have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?  fuck yeah i dont do communication or confrontation. you have to talk to me first i dont even start conversations sjkfljdk

WOW that took about 4 years but it was worth it! anon you know me more closely that most of my friends lmao. thanks for the ask!!!