#Jon Snowdaddy

[loveniaimani]

Issa GoT season 7 recap...

I just finished season 7 of Game of Thrones & I have a lot of feelings so we are going to talk about them.

Miscellaneous

Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons....

Bitch, Dany knows how to make an entrance...

I get so wet every time Dany says, “Dracarys”. Dany coming in with Drogon & her Khalasar...

When I tell you, half the Dothraki men are fine as fuck & can as John Legend would say, have all of me...

The battle was beautiful. The men where fine. Dany was bad ass. Jaime tried but nah, bruh.

Missandei & Grey Worm

I love Missandei & Grey Worm. They are so pure. Their young love. She was teaching him to read & shit. Helping him be a better version of himself.  Grey Worm feeling all of these new feelings. Grey Worm is so pure & I want him protected. Like there is so much hidden emotional damage there. I love seeing him be vulnerable & learning all types of things from Missandei.

It totally slipped my mind that being Unsullied meant that Grey Worm had his penis & balls cut off as a child. So that scene when Missandei & Grey Worm were finally physically intimate, was just beautiful. He was scared for her to see him. That vulnerability, that fear, that acceptance, & young love....

But bitch, the goodbye head. Listen, Grey Worm is a fast learner. I can tell from the way Grey Worm was kissing on Missandei that from the moment he saw her naked he thought about all the ways he wanted to explore her body.

THIS 

IS 

SOME 

PRO 

SHIT!!!!

Grey Worm did that! Took me back to Jon Snow with the wildling girl talking about, “I just wanted to kiss you there.”

Brienne of Tarth

I am here for Brienne. I love her so much. I have been here for her since the beginning & I love how she literally has three men in love with her. Well, two & a half; Jaime, Tormund, & The Hound.

The Hound isn’t in love with Brienne but you can tell he admires the fuck out of her. Brienne beating his ass & leaving him near death humbled his ass. She brought his ass clarity & he now on the side of good. She changed that ass. The Hound will fuck anything up except fire & Brienne. I dead ass think he would face his brother before he face Brienne again.

I’m not even going to lie to you, I love Jaime & Brienne’s relationship. I shipped it. Brienne brings out the best in Jaime, Tyrion also but this isn’t about him right now. Brienne & Jaime make a good team & I still love them together & their mutual admiration of each other but bitch, I’m torn. I love Tormund & his crush on Brienne is beautiful & I ship it.

Let me paint a picture for you about Tormund’s love for Brienne...

Do you see how he looks at her? He is so smitten & adorable. It was love at first sight for Tormund.

The way Tormund talks about Brienne is everything.

From your mouth to God’s ears Tormund. I want big monster babies from you & Brienne to take over the world.

Even Jon sees it & ships it...

What is their ship name? I have seen Torienne &Brimund, & Trienne once or twice. Which one are we going with?

“You don’t need to choose. You’re a Greyjoy and you’re a Stark.”

I know he betrayed Robb Stark but I ALWAYS felt sympathy for Theon Greyjoy. He was never about that life. Even with taking Winterfell, he didn’t deserve what Rambitch did to him. I always want him to be better because he just makes me sad. His abuse was too much.

I’m so glad Jon forgave him & told him that he didn’t have to choose. He is a Greyjoy & a Stark. Theon needed that. He needed some peace.

Now I need him to get Yara back because I love her.

Sansa & Arya

Little Dick Finger trying to play the sisters against each other for the sake of being a bitter hater bitch. I don’t know his motivates. They might have mentioned them but I don’t really pay him much attention. All I know is Arya in the murder business & Sansa found a few of her faces. 

Sansa confused as fuck to why her sister got faces in her bag & Arya starts on this shit about how she could cut off Sansa’s face & wear the lady clothes & be a lady for a day. 

While she was talking that, all I could think of was that scene from The Silence of the Lambs. Actual footage of Arya dressed up as a lady...

Arya loves fucking with Sansa. I’m sure of it but of course she not gone kill her sister. So they talk in secret & the next time we see them, they holding court. It looks like Arya is going to be charged but then Sansa is like: “You stand accused of murder. You stand accused of treason. How do you answer these charges.............Lord Baelish?” 

Little Dick Finger didn’t see any of this happen & he was like

Little Dick Finger tried to plead his case but nah, bruh. Arya cut his throat, he dead now & he won’t be missed.

The 3rd Eyed Petty

I can’t stand Bran now. He just a messy bitch who lives for the drama. Him & his fox fur just sitting at the fucking tree, eyes on frosty the snowman white until it’s time to start some shit. Bitch, I can’t.

He hella dramatic. He was reading all of Little Dick Finger’s past crime confessions with his third eye.

Bruh & when he revealed that Jon & Dany really aunt & nephew during boat sex. I couldn’t fully enjoy the sex(like I wanted to) because Bran want to give monologue during the scene. Showing secret weddings & shit. 

The only fuck I would be willing to give is the fuck on the boat that you are ruining but telling this long ass story.

A facially challenged white haired man married a woman in secret under a tree with daffodils flowing in the wind. The End.

Bran...

He long winded than a motherfucker. Bran, we don’t go time.

Scenes from The Walking Dead

So my babies Jon Snowdaddy & Tormund(Tori) team up with Jorah, The Hound, Eye Patch kill me six times wake me up seven guy, Robert B’s bastard with the Justin Timberlake on Punk’d haircut, & about 5 extras so when someone dies, we don’t lose anyone important(I don’t know their names, sue me) to go get a snow winter is coming zombie to bring back to King’s Landing as proof that all the folks on the side of the living need to team up so they can remain alive. It was a dumb ass idea to go zombie hunting but here they are, walking, freezing...

I’m trying not to be bored with this but I am cause I know that two of my babies & two people I’m very found of, are walking into danger. I’m shivering, shook with…

So out of nowhere a dead bear come & start attacking folks to wake them up because they was having too much fun talking & walking in the snow & whatnot.

From there shit went really bad. They fight, get a snow zombie & for the blink of an eye, you think they about to go home but nah fam. It wouldn’t be a scene with Jon in it unless he had to become Ms. Sophia in the Color Purple...

There is hundreds of snow zombies walking towards them. Jon sends Robert B’s bastard with the Justin Timberlake on Punk’d haircut back to send a raven to Daenerys.

The others run towards the snow zombies and start fighting. As they are running, they hit some weak ass ice that starts to crack. What is a scene in the snow without some weak ass river ice to break?

The team stood for a moment & then was like fuck it & ran across the weak river ice. They make it to the some mini snow covered version of pride rock. The snow zombies have cracked the weak river ice & are now falling in the water.

Robert B’s bastard with the Justin Timberlake on Punk’d haircut ran his ass off. Boy just running for like 3 days in the snow & he makes it back to the gate like…

When we get back to Jon, Tori, & ‘em, The Hound(dumb ass) picks up a rock & throws it across the river. The rock hits one of the snow zombies & knocks its jawline clean off. The Hound(dumb ass) then picks up another rock & throws it. This time he misses & it hits the ice. The ice didn’t break so now the snow zombies know that they can walk across the weak river ice & get to my guys.

Me @ The Hound...

Bitch, I like you but you are so ignorant. You just had to throw a rock like you fucking 8 years old. Chill your Freddy Krueger looking head ass down, boy. This is not how we do it in-the-north.

The snow zombies run up. Jon & the guys were surrounded but they fight.

Girl, tell me why they tried to play my baby Tori? Why they come for his life? He almost got taken out twice. A bunch of snow zombies jumped on him, some tried to pull his ass into the fucking water.

Actual footage of me when the snow zombies thought they was going to take my Tori...

Jon shell shocked, everything is happening in slow motion, & in short…THEY ABOUT TO DIE.

But who comes in one second before it’s too late?

Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons….

Daenerys know how to make an entrance...

Daenerys comes in with her three dragons, they setting shit on fire. Burning the dead, saving the day & whatnot. Just doing a days work. The guys hope on a dragon with Dany, well all except Jon Snow.

Actual footage of me watching Dany save the day but Jon trying to be the extra ass hero...

Jonathan Aegon Targaryen Snow Stark, MOTHERFUCKER WHAT THE FUCK? Like bitch, get on the dragon & fly away. Have you learned nothing from Mufasa during the your Lion King style trampling in the battle of the bastards?

Me @ Mufasa...

Mufasa @ Jon Snow...

While Jon is slaying snow zombies, Dany trying to wait for her bae. The dark night ice king of the dead thing is watching from up the hill as always. This motherfucker never put no real work in

The dark night ice king of the dead thing of the dead grabs a big ass icicle & threw that shit like he was in the Olympics for Iceland or some shit.

And....

The dragon of course dies. Dany is shell shocked. Jon tells the others to go before they lose another dragon. Dany reluctantly tells Drogon to go & she looking back at her bae Jon Snowdaddy the whole time.The dark night ice king of the dead thing throws another icicle but Drogon a whole G & learned how to bob & weave so he dipped out of that shit.

The celebration is short lived though because somehow, the ice breaks & Jon is taken to the white version of the sunken place.

The next time we see Jon, he somehow pulled himself up out of the water.

Jon Snow: “The devil thought he had me. Oh but I ruuuunnnn....”

Jon dragging himself up out of the water & more snow zombies come.

They are about to get him with out of the middle of the dead comes night shadow head ass uncle Benjen. Don’t get me wrong, I like uncle Benjen. I’m here for uncle Benjen saving Jon but...

Uncle Benjen spirit of Christmas past head ass always pop up in the middle of the dark, looking sickly/dead, saving the Stark children like a figment of hopeful imagination. Is the bitch real or not? How he know when to show up? Is his Stark kids in danger sense tingling? 

When it comes to uncle Benjen, #IAmWhitney... 

Uncle Benjen old Rasputin from Anastasia head ass confuse the fuck out of me.

Look at the nose, Maury. They got the same dead skin. They are the same person.

Just around the icy riverbend, the dark night ice king of the dead thing has his snow zombies pull the dead dragon out of the icy water & then he wakes the damn dragon up from the dead...

Bitch, I can’t. So on top of having an army of dead folks that include 3 dead giants, we got a dead dragon too.

Cersei was waiting for them at the door with her party city wig

Jon, Tyrion, The Hound, Missandei, Grey Worm, & dragon lady late Dany comes to King’s Landing with their army & dragons & a snow zombie to meet with the Lannisters to talk about how we gone come together and fight against the walking dead.

It’s a whole family reunion in that place. I didn’t know the big dude who guards Cersei was The Hound’s brother. He an evil bitch. I can’t wait for Drogon to light that ass up.

Tyrion ain’t been back in the city since he escaped execution & killed his father. Cersei hates him & is “Queen” now.

Cersei is Cersei. A snake ass bitch through & through. She ain’t shit & she ain’t never gone be shit. Her & that damn party city wig. She forever entitled & bitter. She hate Dany. She don’t want to help anyone. She thinks she knows it all, bitch you don’t.

Actual footage of Cersei seeing Dany for the first time, wig & all sitting…

If you say Cersei wig ain’t the dirty blonde short cut party city version of the hair in the above gif, you a lying as motherfucker.

Cersei asked Jon not to pick sides in the future battle between herself & Dany for the throne. Jon was like, I can’t make no promises because Dany got my heart & your wig bad…well not in those words but Jon basically was riding with his boo, Dany.

Cersei being the bitter, stale, crunchy wig wearing bitch that she is, then tells them that her army can’t help.

Me @  Cersei: 

I just want to talk to her…

Tyrion–have I mentioned how much I love Tyrion?–Tyrion decides to go talk to his sister because Jon claiming Dany at the function may have fucked everything up & all that snow zombie hunting could have been for nothing if they don’t have the help of all the living.

I honestly don’t remember what was said because that wig is distracting & I don’t like Cersei but Tyrion got her to come out & she offered to help against the snow zombies.

My people get going on their way & once Cersei is alone with Jaime, she admits that she was lying & that her army won’t be helping. She is going to let the dead kill all her enemies.

Me @ Cersei...

Jaime, like nah, bitch. You gave your word, we have to fight. Cersei talking about no one walks away from her & almost tries to get the big guard dude to kill her brotherlover.

Actual footage of Jaime when Cersei said he couldn’t leave & no one walks away from her...

Jaime asks is she really going to give the order & if she is, she better do it because he is going to go help.

Jaime @ Cersei & the big guard dude…

Jaime @ the big guard dude as he was walking out...

I feel like the whole meeting at King’s Landing was some bullshit. Cersei can’t take her own head out of her ass & she keep getting in everybody way. I just want her to die already. I hope she birth a puff of smoke. She need not bring nothing else into this world. We got enough demons.

“We sail together” a tale of a ship called Jonerys

Let me start this off by saying that I never read the GoT books. I don’t know if in the books Jon & Dany were a thing but bitch, from the moment these two entered into each others world, it was like...

I don’t know if it was because these two were my favorite characters from the beginning but I was excited when the finally met.

The sexual tension was there. The whole bend the knee foreplay. Jon being scared of his ugly ass stepdragonchildren. It was like these two people belonged together. I loved how they are a team.

And then there was boat sex. I have mixed feelings one the whole situation. The 3rd Eye Petty Bran kinda ruined it for me with that ugly dry ass wedding. Like y’all could have told me that information after they fucked. Not over top of it. Way to be a mood killer to find out they are aunt & nephew while they fucking.

It also felt rushed. Yes the sexual tension was there & you can see it but to just have him knock on the door & then next thing you know, they all both but ass naked over family tree history.

Speaking of family tree history, why Lyanna Stark so damn petty? How she gone name her son Aegon Targaryen when the man she was married to ALREADY had a son named Aegon Targaryen from his first marriage? Was the Aegon Targaryen dead when Lyanna was pregnant with/having Jon? Help me understand. Cause there is no reason for this type childish. Like you got the man & title, you gone try to replace the man kid by naming your son after his older brother?

Lyanna Stark bleeding out on her death bed after telling her brother Ned that her son’s name is  Aegon Targaryen....

Things I loved about boat sex: Jon licking Dany & Jon’s ass.

*in Yogurt’s voice* YOU KNOW EVERYTHING, JON SNOW!

My man knows what to do with that tongue. When he licked her, that shit was hot as fuck. It was beautiful. It was like he was licking me.

And then that ass...

It’s so perfect. Buns for days. I don’t know what Kit workout routine looking like but he need to leak that shit. I have never seen an ass like that. The muscle, crafted from God’s hands. He got one of those little football booties. Is it squats? Cornbread? collard greens? What got that ass sitting fat like that? I’m asking for a friend.

@corinnestark, @screengeniuz, @loveistheessenceoflife, @babycakesbriauna, @belindapendragon, @redrubied

[loveniaimani]

Battle of the Bastards...

I have no words. I’m still a mess but bitch, the BATTLE OF THE BASTARDS was epic!

Rickon...I didn’t know you. I could never remember your name. I just called you the other little brother that’s not Bran.

For anyone like me who don’t know who Rickon was, here you go...

So Rambitch old sadistic ass tells Rickon to run. He makes it to his brother, Rickon can live.

Jon Snowdaddy trying to make it to his baby brother...

But it’s too late...

I’m not shocked that Rickon ‘Not Bran’ Stark died but I was sad for my hubby Jon Snowdaddy...

If you look at the gif below, you will see the exact moment that I became a ho for Jon Snow...

So after Rickon dies, Jon like fuck everybody. Let’s go to war.

It was at this moment that I got wet & fully ready to pop puss for Jon Snowdaddy

Jon Snow is daddy bae. He is everything. He is the king of the north. So brave, so fine, so smart, so strong.

So all hell is breaking loose & somewhere in the mist of all the fighting, I fell for Tormund...

When I tell you, Tori(my nickname for my boo) was so brave, strong, & down to ride for my man Jon Snowdaddy. Like Tori was in that shit. Killing motherfuckers, left, right, front, back, he was slaying & he even saved Jon’s life a time or two. It was beautiful man. 

Jon & Tormund can hit this at the same damn time! Tormund hit it from the back, Jon got me in the front.

So Jon & the team losing because they are outnumbered, out man’d(Hamilton reference..don’t judge me, that soundtrack is still everything). They surrounded & Jon, my wee little Jon gets stepped on & trampled by everyone. Like he almost died of suffocation. 

I’m going to need the powers that be to...

Jon died already. Stop playing with me right now. He was dead for two episodes & a week later he had risen like Game of Thrones version of Jesus. No need to try to kill him again. That’s already been done. Try again.

I’m still bitter about Mufasa’s death by trampling.

So what Game of Thrones is not about to do is play with another one of our great Kings like that.

It was all bad & then in comes the cavalry. Sansa & Little Dick Finger brought some folks. I believe they were from Sansa’s crazy aunt Lysa’s house. I don’t really care where they came from, I just know they came to ride so I’m here for it.

Rambitch retreats once all of his men are dead...

Bitch, what a door gone do when we got a giant on our side?

Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun(I googled giant on GoT & that is the name I was given) broke down that door but my OGG(Original Gangsta Giant) took a lot of arrows & came through the wall like...

Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun...

Jon Snowdaddy & Tormund run up beside my OGG & Jon is concerned but Rambitch shoots Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun & he dies.

Rambitch, being the punk ass motherfucker that he is then tells Jon they about to do some one on one combat because he think Jon wounded. Jon Snowdaddy has had enough of Rambitch’s shit & drops his sword, grabs a shield & runs up.

BITCH, YOU THOUGHT.

Jon Snowdaddy got in that ass(he can get in mine any day) & Rambitch didn’t even get one hit off.

Me looking at Jon’s form, every hit connecting with Rambitch’s face...

Jon beat Rambitch’s ass but he didn’t kill him. The next time we see Rambitch, he is in the doghouse, all bloody, tied to a chair. Sansa saying something to him & long, beautiful story short, Rambitch gets eaten by his own dogs who he abused by not feeding for 7 days. 

The Battle of the Bastards was lit.

@screengeniuz, @loveistheessenceoflife, @belindapendragon, @babycakesbriauna, @corinnestark