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okamirayne · 4 months

Text

Still I Hear You Say…

Art by NYX

Really appreciate you giving me permission to go ahead and share this collab, NYX! It’s been a source of joy since 2023. You know how I feel! Thank you 😭

🥹😍💔❤️‍🩹 Kudos to NYX for turning a telepathic dialogue between these two into this gorgeous piece 😭 Respectfully (as promised) trying to contain myself 🫠🥹

Kōni means pixie / imp (and was Naoki’s nickname for Karibi)

🎶 Song inspo for these two (and Genma) Never Too Late by Three Days Grace

“Even if I say, "It'll be all right" / Still I hear you say, you want to end your life / Now and again we try to just stay alive/ Maybe we'll turn it all around, 'cause it's not too late, it's never too late.” 💔

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Full Lyrics below

This world will never be what I expected

And if I don't belong, who would have guessed it?

I will not leave alone everything that I own

To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late

Even if I say, "It'll be all right"

Still I hear you say, you want to end your life

Now and again we try to just stay alive

Maybe we'll turn it all around, 'cause it's not too late, it's never too late

No one will ever see this side reflected

And if there's something wrong, who would have guessed it?

And I have left alone everything that I own

To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late

Even if I say, "It'll be all right"

Still I hear you say, you want to end your life

Now and again we try to just stay alive

Maybe we'll turn it all around, 'cause it's not too late, it's never too late

The world we knew won't come back

The time we've lost can't get back

The life we had won't be ours again

This world will never be what I expected

And if I don't belong

Even if I say, "It'll be all right"

Still I hear you say, you want to end your life

Now and again we try to just stay alive

Maybe we'll turn it all around, 'cause it's not too late, it's never too late

Maybe we'll turn it all around 'cause it's not too late, it's never too late

It's not too late, it's never too late.

#my ocs are my children #nyx #ocs #Naoki #oc art by NYX #three days grace inspo #btb ocs #karibi #naoki karibi #btb okami rayne #angstaholic #tenka #break to breathe fanart #btb series #angst mcangst #yep still hurts #my darlings

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okamirayne · 17 days

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What inspired Genma and Shikamaru's backstories and the use of DID in your story???

Heya Anon! Thanks for your patience as I get round to answering ASKS. I'm playing catch up. 😅 Great to be able to steal some time.

Ooh! Interesting questions.

Firstly, Genma.

Genma's backstory (and self-deprecating attitude lol) was fundamentally inspired by an OC of mine. So Genma's backstory is a mish-mash of OC stories, built on his own unique organic arc and journey through BtB. He's an offshoot, in that respect. Though he's very much his own character, his backstory origins (especially in relation to Naoki and Karibi) are thanks to my OCs. That'll probably be evident when I get my original works out into the world. As a sidenote, Genma's backstory has deepened further in HHU, as he's taken me further back into childhood memories, which I did not expect when writing him and that is very much inspired by nothing other than his unique formation in the BtB-verse. Certain things aren't planned, they just play out - and I really love when that happens.

Secondly, Shikamaru

Shikamaru's backstory unfolded pretty organically, based on feeling into his character as he developed in BtB. As for the DID element, this is something I tackle in my original works, so it was an opportunity to use it, but only because it fit with Shikamaru's mind and how I write him in the BtB-verse. With a brain like his, it clicked, given his trauma.

Thanks for the questions, Anon! 💕

#btb ask #shikamaru ask #genma ask #btb shikamaru #btb genma #character asks

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okamirayne · 4 years

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Hi Rayne!! Just finished (yet another) re-read of BtB, and I don't think I've cried this hard in a long, long time - it was very cathartic. But, feels aside, I was wondering if you could tell us a bit more about Karibi? She's fascinating and I'm just dying to know more! (Sorry if this has been asked before!!)

Hi there, my lovely Anon!

Apologies for the delayed response. Aw, luv. Always so, so chuffed to learn someone has revisited the series and even more touched to know it hits you in the feels <3.

But, feels aside, I was wondering if you could tell us a bit more about Karibi? She's fascinating and I'm just dying to know more! (Sorry if this has been asked before!!)

Karibi! <3 Firstly, no, this hasn’t been asked before, so imagine my excitement regarding an OC ASK -- can you picture it? TREBLE IT. XD

Another dear Anon asked about Naoki in a previous ASK and I thank you for your expressed interest in Karibi! It’s a funny one because I have two Karibi OCs -- the edited version I inserted into BtB and the original, original version. Given that we’re talking about BtB Karibi...let me rewire my character brain a moment and firmly draw a line or two...or twelve....

Right! A Third War orphan, Karibi grew up in the orphanage outside of Konoha and proved to be quite a handful over the years given her feisty nature, constant escape-attempts, insistence on dressing and behaving like a boy (for which she earned consistent bullying and beatings), and her rough-housing free-for-all scraps with other kids -- as well as her routine habit of stealing food from the kitchens to give to a stray dog who constantly hung around the outskirts of the orphanage. It was easier for her to attach herself this dog than other kids who came and went, just like the voluntary care-givers. Her mischief-making, stealthy tactics, “never stay down” stubbornness and streetwise attitude soon caught the attention of a retired Konoha ANBU veteran (a patron of the orphanage) who interrupted a violent fight between Karibi and a group of local boys who’d stoned the dog to death. Observing how fiercely she fought (always getting up when knocked down) despite being outnumbered and beaten, the ANBU veteran recognized her potential, promptly adopted her, and trained her in ninjutsu, genjutsu and chakra control.

Their relationship was close, until it wasn’t.

Advancing quickly through the academy and ranks – winning zero friends along the way – she was soon put forward for ANBU by her adopted father, who immediately cut his ties to her, damaging an already tentative trust. Intended as a solo agent, she was immediately assigned to a 3-team ANBU unit named Team Yokai consisting of herself, Genma, and Naoki (Captain).

Enter in, bonding.

It was here, after a lot of boundary testing and testosterone busting, that she finally formed some hard-won emotional attachments after beating Genma and Naoki bloody in taijutsu combat – taunting them constantly to get up (“seven times down, eight times up”). While she was promptly one-upped by both in ninjutsu, her genjutsu prowess brought her right back onto an even keel with them both. Perfectly balanced, respect began to form between them – then friendship – which later led to a lover’s trine between the three of them. This was intense but short-lived; Karibi soon recognised that though she loved them both, she preferred women and also realised Genma and Naoki’s feelings for each other went a hell of a lot deeper than ‘close friends with benefits’. She knew they’d fallen for each other before either admitted it to themselves, let alone each other.

The three of them were inseparably close.

They were more than her friends or comrades – they were her family.

They kept each other going.

Karibi allowed Naoki to establish a permanent telepathic link with her whereas Genma only allowed it during missions and in the bedroom. Karibi kept her mind open to Naoki always, though he never intruded until years later after being listed as Killed In Action.

His death blew a hole in their world.

Their team was dismantled.

They would not accept another Captain.

To make matters worse, due to the unbroken telepathic link and the resulting ghost of Naoki’s presence in her head, Karibi never truly believed Naoki had died and her adamant ‘denial’ of this ‘fact’ created a heart-breaking rift between her and Genma.

This rift between them grew darker and wider as Genma turned to solo deep-cover missions and Karibi turned to drink when she wasn’t neck-deep in assassinations and a failed “could’ve been” relationship. And then one day the edge of all the smashed glass bottles in her life looked very, very tempting.

Genma found her, just in time – the first time at least.

Treated and cleared of suicide risk, Karibi was soon diagnosed as schizophrenic given the “voice” of her dead Captain in her head and this threatened her position in the ANBU – but her brokenness caught Danzō’s interest.

After a failed attempt to recover her relationship with her civilian lover and unable to mend the rift between herself and Genma, she signed on for a ROOT initiation mission – which sadly finished what she’d started with the bottle – though it was an impulsive and sudden decision rather than a deeply pre-meditated one. She disobeyed orders when sent into a child-trafficking operation being run out of an orphanage. This was a trigger for her. Rather than complete the ROOT mission of kidnapping a couple of kids for ROOT grooming, she murdered her ROOT partner and slaughtered the “nuns” who were supposed to be taking care of the children rather than indenturing them into the sex-trade to raise funds. When the ninja traffickers showed up, she lit the building on fire, and while the children escaped she made damned sure not one “piece of trash” running the trafficking ring got out alive.

She went down fighting in flames.

Her death was the final crippling blow to Genma. He went to Mizugumo immediately after that. Then he went to his own personal hell before Kakashi met him there in ANBU’s gutter and helped drag him out of it years later, saving him from the same fate as Karibi when he almost identically mirrored the blaze of glory tragedy with his suicide attempt in Tanzaku years later.

Random Trivia:

Karibi loved dogs and often kept an eye out for Inuzuka women looking for a bit of rough and tumble.

She dealt with a lot of possessive shit from Naoki. He was very possessive of his family/lovers and was only just about able to accept Karibi being intimate with others, even after he’d stopped sleeping with her. Genma always joked that Naoki only accepted her activities because her preference was for women, not men.

Karibi, like Naoki, felt strongly about the abuse of children, given certain illicit incidents she’d witnessed at the orphanage -- she and Genma understood Naoki’s childhood trauma and were the only ones who could handle him when he flew into a rare rage

Her favourite catchphrase was “seven times down, eight times up” (“Nana korobi, ya oki” which means “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” It means choosing to never give up hope, and to always strive for more.)

While her ANBU step-parent/mentor abandoned her in the end, she retained the green knit scarf he gifted her (the only gift she’d ever received from him other than her training and removal from the orphanage)

She began to fall for a civilian woman -- the scariest thing for her, other than losing her teammates.

Karibi’s top value was “resilience” and never giving up – which made her suicide attempt so painful for Genma to accept

She turned to Naoki for help retrieving memories about her parents – this enabled him to perfect his own kinjutsu to reverse memory erasure

She had a plethora of ear piercings and a tattoo Naoki inked on her hip

She loved various green teas

She had a crush on Kurenai – round about the same time Genma did, which made for an interesting competition between them….and a somewhat unfair irritation towards Asuma.

She was a bit of magpie in the ANBU and stole items on missions, donating them privately to the orphanage

She loved berry-picking and was very well-versed with poisons

Genma gave her chickenpox and she gave him hell for it

She almost managed to shove a spinning top up Genma’s ass – almost.

Genma accidentally broke her baby finger playing “thumb wars” and it never set properly on the joint, causing her to have a crooked little finger

Most of her illusion/genjutsu techniques focus around folklore creatures and light, which came in handy on missions dealing with highly suspicious village folk

Her dream goal was to one day be Goei Shotai to a female Hokage – a dream Genma later lived out for her when Tsunade came into power

Naoki was with her telepahtically when she died, as Genma was with Naoki when he died -- in that way, Karibi was not as alone in death as Genma always feared.

Wow, that was LONG. Sorry, Anon! I absolutely love character-writing and development....I get carried away even if most of their story never makes it into the actual written piece. Thank you for asking about Karibi, I hope this insight gives you some answers! <3

#OC asks #Karibi #BtB OCs #BtB series #BtB Asks #BtB Ask #Genma #Naoki #Team Yokai #break to breathe by okami rayne #btb series #break to breathe #okami rayne #okamirayne #okami-rayne

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okamirayne · 3 years

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Realized recently that Genma didnt make too much appearance in the anime. How did you actually come up with his personality and his relationships in BtB? Do you have any inspiration? or did you base it off of his few appearances? Because I feel like Genma's personality I came to know in BtB is very complex and Im glad that it's well written. How raw his emotions were and his internal dialogues are a few of the things I loved the most. Thank you for your hard work~~~

Hey there Anon!

Thanks for the ASK!

Great question. Genma’s relationships were based very loosely off an original trine of characters which manifested in the BtB series as Naoki, Karibi, and Genma himself. While Genma bears similarities to my OC (the drug issues and the past trauma with a healthy dose of smartassery), they are worlds apart in many ways. I delved into Genma’s canon trivia (what is available to source; his jutsu, the meaning of his clan name, his love of pumpkin soup/broth and his motto of ‘ no words but action’) These titbits were good fun to explore and flesh out and enabled me to add onto existing dimensions.

Another e.g. would be his senbon chewing -- which manifested as a mild masochistic tendency. Plus, his partnership with Raidou, his rank as Goei Shotai etc. If a character has a rank, habit, behaviour, or insecurity, I want to know the origin and that invariably leads me into an organic development as I write them. Same goes for other characters like Ibiki.

As with all Kishimoto’s underdeveloped or side-line characters I take the bare bones from their trivia and anime-screen time and build something original but hopefully canon-worthy from there.

Sometimes I had no idea what was going to come out of Genma’s mouth until I was writing the scene -- but then again, it’s like that with most scenes insofar as dialogue, even if I have a general idea of where the scene is heading action-wise/plot-wise.

Because I feel like Genma's personality I came to know in BtB is very complex and Im glad that it's well written. How raw his emotions were and his internal dialogues are a few of the things I loved the most. Thank you for your hard work

How awesome to learn this. That means a great deal to me, Anon. I adore when readers connect with the characters. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know what you enjoyed and why. <3 I’m so happy to know you engaged with his portrayal! <3

#btb ask #genma shiranui #btb genma #break to breathe ask #genma btb #shiranui genma btb #genma shiranui btb #okamirayne

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okamirayne · 3 years

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Hii Rayne! Sorry for popping up, buuut this Q&A thingy got to me too. By any chance, could you do that as Naoki as well? I'm dying to know, my love for him will be the death of me. xDD

Of course, It's totally okay if you don't want to do a chain of characters after Genma, I'll totally understand. (=^･ω･^=)

I'm still so happy you answered my Naoki & Shuken life+trivia asks before. I screeched from happiness like a madwoman. xD

As always, I enjoy the hell out of the yearly BtB series rereads. I can just play burrito with a blanket and squirm and scream in it my overwhelming feelings for the whole series. It gets better and better every time, and I absolutely feeling Naoki like holy hell, whyyyy? ╥﹏╥ He deserved the world with Genma. They never fail to make me cry.

Have a good night and I hope your burnout will get better soon. ♥ I love you and your mind. ♥ Take care for both. (*^ω^*)

And sorry for my english, I'm not a native speaker. (=^･ω･^=)

Hey there, sweetie!

Aw, @serawinterra it’s so wonderful to hear from you again!! And my gods, hitting me right in the mushy centre by asking about Naoki’s responses. 😭💜

I don’t have words for how much your words mean to me as well as your love and support for the series — especially your interest in the OCs. Bless you 🙏🏼💜 You’ve made my sad writer’s heart sing!!! Thank you for revisiting the series and for being so phenomenally kind. Love and hugs coming at you — and huge respect and gratitude for bridging the language barrier for my limitations🙏🏼 Thank you!

Ah, now onto Naoki’s responses!

1 - thunderstorms or rainbows?: Thunderstorms. They resonate.

2 - books or movies? Books…mainly because they don’t come with the smartass running commentaries Genma hands out when watching movies.

3 - hoodies or denim jackets? Hoodies.

4 - city or countryside? Countryside. Less people. Quieter.

5 - achieve world peace or end world hunger? Peace…? I’m starting to think we weren’t built for that. Feeding the hungry sounds more plausible.

6 - pop or rock?: whatever Genma or Karibi inflict. I’m easy with music.

7 - many acquaintances or a few close friends? My people, always.

8 - cats or dogs? Dogs. Loyal.

9 - antiheroes or sympathetic villains? Antiheroes…they live in the grey…our world is never black or white.

10 - catchy beat or deep lyrics?: deep lyrics, unless I’m “Tenka”.

11 - bright colours or pastels?: in what? In art? Depends on the piece. Same holds true for most things…

12 - greek or roman mythology? Genma already ran head-first into this fourth wall. (Genma: paving the way like a god damn hero)

13 - coffee or tea?: both. Tea is rarer.

14 - sweet or savoury? Sweet

15 - reading or writing? Reading. I’m not good with words.

16 - summer or winter? Winter

17 - autumn or spring? Autumn

18 - strawberry or mango? Mango

19 - friendship or romance? …I had both with my team. Two sides of a coin. I can’t separate that.

20 - headphones or earbuds? Headphones. Better noise-cancelling.

21 - rom-coms or horror? Historical (Genma: that’s not an option) It is now.

22 - morning person or night owl? Night owl. Though ANBU knows no standard hours.

23 - dark or brightly coloured clothes? Dark. Easier. Better. Safer.

24 - easter or halloween? Halloween… always.

25 - metal or rap? Whatever mood takes me. No preference.

Voilà! There we have it. Thank you again for your interest in Naoki! I too weep for him and Genma’s painful sorry💔. But Thank you for allowing Naoki to live again through this Q&A! 😘 💜 Stay safe, sweetie.

#btb naoki #naoki yamanaka #naoki ask #Naoki q&a #yamanaka naoki #naoki #genma #Naoki asks #Gemma asks

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