#Knows she should avoid Sam > He's Hot. Could kill Azazel and stop Lilith from getting freed > Harvelle Harem. Could stop Lilith > Ruby. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

19catsncounting · 6 months ago

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Jessifer breaks her collarbone in the car crash at the end of the first season and gets dumped at Bobby's for two months, but when Sam and Dean come back another month after that, Bobby Does Not have Sam's girlfriend on the premises. Jessifer has run away to the Harvelle Roadhouse to have a Hot Girl Summer with the Special Kids she's collecting like pokemon, plus Jo, plus Ash, and Ellen isn't sure if Jessifer's being nice or fruity to her. And Sam gets so mad when he and Jessifer are arguing and Jake 'Lifted An SUV in Afghanistan' Talley asks if he wants to step outside, and in the end Jessifer and Sam agree to a break until Azazel's dealt with.

But at Azazel's Sleepaway Camp, all the Special Kids except for Andy want to kill Sam just because he Fumbled Jessica so hard they think it's a mercy. (Andy is the only one who didn't go to the Roadhouse so he only has a crush on Jessifer but all the others Will Do Anything For Lucifussy.)

#Lucifer Did Not Know that a side effect of being Azazel's creator is the Special Kids worshipping her like a goddess but like...#It's not an *Unwanted* side effect at all.#She's immune to their powers and runs a positivity and acceptance cult for them. She just wanted Azazel's attention.#But now she's got 2 blonde lesbians a bi queen a taller boyfriend the unquantifiable entity that is Ash and she's trying to get a MILF.#Ellen it is So Fruity that Jessifer combs her fingers through your hair almost cradling your face saying 'you should really let it loose'#Is Jessifer seducing the other hunters? Well they want to fuck her on sight. But she doesn't have any use for them. They're just Deans #Sam's gonna wonder if he was just under Jessifer's spell this whole time. No You're Different Sam. <3 #(At least Sam's insecurity helping to drive the breakup can be referenced as handy evidence for Lucifer to say he's immune. He Buys That.)#It's a recurring theme for Jessifer that when she considers stopping the apocalypse she gets distracted by a new situationship.#Knows she should avoid Sam > He's Hot. Could kill Azazel and stop Lilith from getting freed > Harvelle Harem. Could stop Lilith > Ruby.

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