#Kurt isn’t the one who gets hurt btw

[jocelynships]

Oh I have SUCH good fucking angst planned for when my S/I gets her powers. I’m subjecting my girl to the horrors

[inthegloomglow]

It’s not either/or in regards to Harrison and Dexter

So I’ve seen a lot of thoughts in fandom that the only possible outcome is Harrison or Dexter dies, and that’s the only one that could “work.”

Now, I’m thinking Harrison probably will die, and I’m deeply frustrated about it, so this isn’t to show what I think will happen, but what I think could, and still work.

Biggest thing, we need to do something different. We’ve seen Dexter kill, we’ve seen him kill a murderous relative, we’ve seen him get people around him killed due to his actions. Dexter needs to evolve. He needs to do something selfless.

Dexter needs to sacrifice for his son, and he doesn’t have to die to do that.

Kurt is probably going after Harrison when he figures out Dexter's killed Matt. That's almost certain, the plot has been fairly straightforward. Dexter can either willingly try to let Kurt hurt or kill him, or it can be a fight, he takes a (maybe not literal) bullet for Harrison. And it could have a permanent impact. He loses a hand, damages his leg and will limp, loses an eye, has some form of brain damage that can make being him difficult. I know a lot of times there’s this sentiment that if someone is willing to die but doesn’t it doesn’t “count.” I disagree. Him being willing to do that and suffering a form of permanent consequence is progression.

Maybe he allows himself to be investigated for a crime Harrison committed, maybe he puts himself in a situation where he could be caught in general. That doesn't mean he has to be put on death row, maybe he’s convicted for 1 murder and not found out as a serial killer. There are ways to do this that requires neither of them to die. I get so frustrated seeing people hoping for Harrion’s death because it’s that OR Dex dies. It doesn’t have to be. And in my opinion, even if Harrison was a killer, it'd be growth to see Dexter choose to ignore it. Not morally right but is anyone here for morally right? For Dexter to let a killer go, to totally ignore the code because his son matters more? That’d be something too.

For the record, I don’t think Harrison is a total monster. I think he’s a confused, hurting, angry teen. That doesn’t justify what he did to Ethan, no one put words in my mouth. But it’s possible to do something wrong and not be a total monster, to not be a killer. 

I also think it’d be interesting for Harrison to live and somehow keep his relationship with Dexter. Not someone else who’s left him in one way shape or form.

I don’t want to give people hope, I don’t think what I’m suggesting will happen. I’m pretty confident Harrison is going to die, and if not he will be removed permanently in some way, Alcott’s interviews pretty clearly hinted at that. I’m just saying fandom thinks the only way is Harrison kills or outlives Dexter or Dexter kills or gets Harrison killed. It isn’t the only way and it’s just redoing things the original show did - repeatedly btw - And I’m holding this show to a higher standard. Otherwise what is the point of it at all? Just leave the original ambiguous ending.

[spaceorphan18]

What do you mean by 'it’s the writers breaking the fourth wall to comment'? The rant is Santana trash talking to hurt him. Kurt has always been one of fans favourites and I truly don't remember hatred for him, I don't see breaking a fourth wall to say awful comments from the fandom.

I’m going to be honest, I’m not 100% if I understand - so I’ll comment based on what I think you’re talking about? 

A lot of this rant is - not only sticking it to Kurt, but also breaking the fourth wall.  Let’s break it down, shall we? *collective groan* 

...maybe it didn't work out because you're a judgmental little gerontophile with a mouth like a cat's ass...

So, first of all, there are a lot of comments about Kurt’s (Chris’s) physical features.  This isn’t new - in Glee or otherwise.  Being an actor means you do have to have a thick skin about your physical traits.  And Santana is much worse, more often, to other people - specifically Finn and Rachel, who often get the bulk of it.  Still, I think across the board (including to Finn and Rachel) I think it’s low to do this, especially for comedy.  

The ‘gerontophile’ comment I believe is double-edged.  (In case you don’t know - that means having a sexual attraction to the elderly.)  This is, of course, in reference to not only Walter - who is coming in the next episode, but Kurt hanging out in the old folks’ home.  But, and I’m basing this on how Glee takes digs a its actors all the time, it’s also in reference to the fact that Chris wrote the episode in which Kurt starts hanging out with the elderly.  Chris is also known for having friends much older than him, has said on many different occasions that he enjoys elderly, and his boyfriend (same one then as now) is much older than he is.  I’m just hard pressed to believe that this isn’t a dig at Chris as well as Kurt. 

The judgmental comment is fair - that’s very much a part of Kurt’s character.  

Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing your shrill, self-aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex of the gay rights movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together or farted. 

This particular little snippet is the big one concerning the fourth wall break.  It’s a commentary about how Klaine was seen as a forefront in the gay rights movement on television (and it was, btw).  And she’s commenting on us, the fans, saying that basically the two of them are boring - and it’s particularly lame that fans latch on to every single thing they did, even if it was mundane.  And, I mean, we did, and still do.  But a farted joke? Really Glee? You’re better than that. 

Maybe Blaine didn't want to be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smile or someone who doesn't dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick's more elaborate wet dreams.

Another dig at Chris’s physical features that he can’t help.  Same comment as before.  The fashion comment is interesting - because it’s fair to attack Kurt on these points, because that is a part of his character.  But I’d argue that Blaine dresses more like Andy Dick than Kurt.  And even so, Kurt hasn’t been extravagant in his fashion for a few seasons now.  So, whatever Santana... 

Maybe Blaine grew weary of dating a breathier, more feminine Quinn Fabray.

Ngl, I did find this kind of funny. It’s not exactly wrong.  

Maybe he finally got freaked out by your strange obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes like one of those cats that can smell cancer.

While I find this whole rant pointless, and just an excuse for the writers to be mean for the sake of being mean, this isn’t any different than the gerontophile comment earlier.  You’re being redundant writers, pick another thing to talk about.  It just makes them seem stuck on a couple of points, because they don’t really have a whole lot of other places to go.   Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen to pass to entertain exactly no one with, say, some song that Judy Garland choked on her tongue in the middle of or some sassy old Broadway standard made famous by another dead alcoholic crone.

This is another line that I actually do find funny, because it’s true, and it’s related to Kurt, not to Chris or some outside thing.  It’s also ironic, cause she’s wrong, and we are all entertained by it.  

(You could argue there’s another there’s another dig about him liking old people again, though.  If it weren’t for the other references, this line would work just fine.)  Maybe Blaine woke up one day and said, You know what, I don't want to marry a sexless, self-centered baton twirler. Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves. The finger wag, the shoulder shimmy and the one where you pretend to twirl two invisible rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips.

The ‘sexless’ comment is another fourth wall break.  Many of the critics of Kurt (and they were there, just not necessarily in fandom) called him sexless for a long time.  These people didn’t watch the show, and across the board - gay couples got slighted more than the straight ones did, but that’s not Kurt, Chris, or even the writers’ fault, tbh.  Fox network did have censorship (even if I think it’s to a lesser degree than some people thing) - especially at the height of Glee’s powers around season 3.  Anyone watching the show would know that Kurt is fairly horny rather regularly. ;) 

Meanwhile, the three dance move is also kind of funny - because she mimics him perfectly, and because it’s true.  Though, Mike made this joke three seasons ago.   So, you know what, maybe that's why it didn't work out. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and Brittany. Maybe it's just that you are utterly, utterly intolerable.

Honestly, I don’t know why this particular rant went viral.  Maybe because Glee hadn’t done any so mean spirited in a long time? Maybe because there are a lot of people who didn’t like Kurt out there? I don’t know.  Other than there’s more of it, a lot of other characters got a lot worse from Santana and more so Sue.   (I do feel bad for Matthew Morrison who continually got an onslaught of it from Sue.) 

But yes - the ‘old people’ jokes and the physical attributes are digs at Chris.  The ‘being the apex of gay culture’ dig is at us.  There is some comedy in here, but it’s so bathed in mean spiritedness that it’s not funny.  It’s just mean. 

And I do feel that with all the rants Sue and Santana (and whomever) had along the way.  

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 3

3: Born This Way

Written by: Brad Falchuk Directed by: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon

Overall Thoughts: This may be the closest Glee ever came to a perfect episode. It’s funny, it’s emotional, it’s well-developed, and it deals with a variety of issues that have been building for the past two seasons. Really, the only reason that it’s ranked number 3 is because of the emotional value of top 2. It really is a wonderful, amazing episode.

What I Like:

Although I don’t like her motivation (I’ll get into that later), I did like that it was Santana, not Finn or Rachel or Will, who ultimately got Kurt to come back to McKinley.

Related to that, all the scenes between Santana and Karofsky are fucking comedy gold.

“I was just seeing what kind of jeans he was wearing” “Like that’s any less gay”

I also love the scene where Kurt and Blaine are hanging out with Santana, Mercedes, and Tina. I really like that Blaine continuous to make an effort to get to know Kurt’s friends and hang out with them. I also love how he feels so strongly about Kurt staying at Dalton as long as it isn’t safe at McKinley. It’s so sweet because it’s so clear he just cares about what’s best for Kurt, even though it’s clear that he would like to stay close to his boyfriend.

I appreciated that the Lauren and Rachel stories sort of intertwined by both of them including Quinn. You can tell how hard this lesson is for Quinn because she couldn’t accept herself the way she was, and while I don’t think that she’s trying to get others to change because she felt she had to, you can tell (especially at the end) that she’s upset that she seems to be the only person who needed to change herself in order to accept herself. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to change and improve yourself, but I also don’t think it’s right to only do so because you don’t like who you are. I think if you love yourself you want to be your best self, and that doesn’t look the same for everybody. Clearly for Rachel, Quinn, and Lauren, that looks very different. It just so happens that for Rachel and Lauren their best self is who they already were, whereas Quinn felt like her best self couldn’t be achieved without change.

I also really liked how Lauren wanted to be Prom Queen, and how she didn’t allow Quinn to bully her into withdrawing because she was fat-shaming her.

I also like how going negative backfired on Lauren.

The scene where Finn shows Quinn the picture he keeps of her in his wallet. I will talk about it a bit in the negative side, but I really do like the scene and the emotion behind it. I think it’s sweet, and something Quinn really needed in this episode.

The Barbra-vention scene is pretty cute. I love the idea that Puck contacted Kurt about staging an intervention for Rachel because he would know how to do it best.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I really like that Rachel didn’t just immediately drop her plans to get a nose job when Finn told her she was beautiful. Because honestly, she was totally convinced at this point that this was what was best for her, both for her looks and for her voice (which we all know was an excuse, but Rachel has this uncanny ability to lie to herself so much she genuinely believes what she’s saying), so why would one guys opinion change anything? Everyone else already told her not to do it, and she didn’t listen. I’m just really glad that they didn’t make it into a Finchel thing where Finn’s approval stops Rachel from getting a nose job.

When Figgins asks the Glee club to hear Karofsky out and Sam is like “how about we punch his face off” and Mercedes goes “Yeah”

The whole arc with Emma is SO AMAZING. I could write an entire essay about how much I fucking LOVE Emma in this episode and the journey she goes through. I won’t, though, because this review is already getting long as fuck. I will instead summarize with my favourite quote from her story: “Your illness is not who you were meant to be it. It’s keeping you from being who you were meant to be.”

Karofsky’s development. Even though he’s being blackmailed by Santana, you can tell that he does feel at least some regret over what he did (which builds to the climax we get in “Prom Queen”).

Fuck, I LOVE that last scene with Brittany and Santana. Not only is Santana’s deadpan “I’m Hispanic” absolutely hilarious, but I always get so fucking emotional when Santana is like “I told you that I loved you and you didn’t say you loved me back” (which btw is untrue because Brittany does in fact tell her she loves her in “Sexy”) and Brittany goes “I do love you, clearly you don’t love you as much as I do or you’d put this shirt on and you would dance with me”. Fuck, it gets me every single time.

The ending is amazing too. Rachel and Emma coming out with their shirts, everyone dancing, Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina taking the lead… So good. The perfect ending to the perfect episode.

What I Don’t Like:

Santana’s motivation for doing everything is tricking Brittany into dating her. That’s super not cool. Like, really, really, really not cool.

Also, the fact that she blackmails Karofsky to get it done, and in the process hurts Sam, who she is supposed to be dating. Like, she doesn’t even have the decency to break up with Sam before announcing she’s dating Karofsky in front of the Glee club. Shit move.

The fact that Lauren, who was literally just fat-shamed by Quinn, and who is fat-shamed all the fucking time, decided that the way she was going to beat Quinn was by fat-shaming her. Like I already said, I’m glad it backfired.

While I do really like the scene between Finn and Quinn with the picture, it always leaves me with a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, just because I am fully aware that if Quinn actually looked like that Finn would have never even looked at her.

Similarly, while I like the Barbra-vention scene, it does play into the constant theme of everyone having to drop everything because Rachel feels bad about herself and they need to prove to her that she’s better than anybody else in the entire world, and only then will she realize that they’re right and she shouldn’t do whatever she’s doing or think whatever she’s thinking. Also, they never would have done anything like that for any other member of the Glee club.

I don’t like the scene where Will shoves the unwashed fruit in Emma’s face. It makes me feel really uncomfortable.

Songs:

I Feel Pretty/Unpretty: I don’t know why Rachel and Quinn didn’t sing more duets. Their voices go together so well. And this mash-up is gorgeous. So melancholy, but still beautiful. I love it.

I’ve Gotta Be Me: I actually do like this song. It’s a fun number, and I like how he’s dancing with Mike throughout it.

Somewhere Only We Know: This song is so gorgeous. The performance is sweet. Just, so good.

As If We Never Said Goodbye: I love this song so much. I used to think it was boring, and the performance too long, but now it’s one of my favourite Kurt solos. It’s so emotional, and he sounds so good on it. Everyone’s reaction to him singing it in the choir room makes me so happy, too.

Born This Way: Love, love, love this song. A perfect way to end off an amazing episode.

Final Thoughts: If I was told I could only ever watch five episodes of Glee for the rest of my life, this would be one of them. It’s raw, and emotional, and sweet, and amazing. One of the closest Glee ever came to a perfect episode.

[meleuki]

Thanks for the tag @flowrxchild​, @satans-helper, all my love to you both x 

What was the last thing you read?

if we’re being specific, I read @satans-helper​ post completely. low-key dude, you remind me of myself. 

Favourite movie?

The Hobbit, I just watched all three the other day and my love for them was remembered. 

Favourite book?

I AM DEATH by Chris Carter. It will forever be my favourite, I’ve never read anything as good as that book. 

Dream date?

A walk through a forest, or to the beach. Anything that involves a good long drive, with good music. 

Do you have a crush?

I do, and we’ve been on a few dates recently. 

What are your hobbies?

Writing, painting, drawing, yoga, astrology, tarot, learning about everything that catches my eye - mostly butterflies, outer space, mythology of any kind. I can also never get enough of making things with my hands, sculpting, cooking, baking etc. 

What’s your favourite time of day?

My usual wake up time, that my body has gotten used to, is 4-5am. So the early morning. I wake up and make coffee and breakfast, and watch the sunrise. When it’s nice and cool in the morning is my favourite. 

If you could look like anything, what would you look like?

A flowy forest fairy type gal I guess, that’s what I’d aim for. 

Are you romantic?

Yes and no, that to me - is complicated. I wish to be, and I can be if I really feel the need to, but my demeanour around people I love is often more friendly than romantic. 

What’s your favourite type of weather?

Sunny, but with a cool breeze. I like to be able to wear things that cover my whole body, and not feel over-heated. 

What do you like talking about?

Astrology, I would talk about it all the time if I could, but the people around me aren’t so keen on hearing about it all. Also, music, like the blues and rock n roll, I love when someone can return my enthusiasm about Muddy Waters, The Kings, Jimi Hendrix or Stevie Ray Vaughan.

What are your turn ons?

Someone who will roll with my ramblings; make sense out of nonsense; try something they’ve never done; mother nature’s child; understanding and supportive; a little wild and a little crazy; considerate; a good heart. 

Turn offs?

Over-confidence, selfishness, dishonest, disloyal. Doesn’t take any advice. This is a specific thing, but if in a conversation I am the only one asking the questions.  

If you got a tattoo what would it be and where would you get it?

Oh, I want many. I want a triangle on my right shoulder, covered in flowers and vines, with my mother, grandmother, and sister’s name at each corner. I also would like to get a protection sigil tattooed on the space between my thumb and pointer finger. 

but that’s for when I have money. 

Do you have any pets?

A small dog named Wesley, I love him a lot. 

Dream job?

Designing album covers or just being an artist. An author, or a professor of Creative Writing, I would like to be a lecturer one day. 

Dream place to live?

I would like to build my own place, by a lake in the woods, with a couple of dogs, maybe some chickens. Cabin or cottage vibes throughout the whole house. 

Dream vacation?

I want to travel Canada, and go see all the lakes and forests. Portugal is also on my list. ( @livewiredroger​ )

Do you have any piercings?

Just the two in my earlobes. I wanna get my septum and line a few up my ears however.

If you had kids, what would you name them?

Ophelia and Titan are the only names I’m sure of at the moment. 

What are your best traits?

I am straightforward when I need to be. I believe I am kind, and I do my best to live up to that belief every day. I will talk about anything and everything. I think a lot. 

Worst traits?

I often get tired and irritable, which makes it easy for me to snap at people or sound uninterested in conversation. I’m in the process of learning how to still be kind no matter what mood I am in. I am unaware of how much I ramble on sometimes. 

What’s your worst fear?

Loss of my sight.

What do you want to eat right now?

Uhm, nothing really. Chicken and spinach maybe? I just ate so I have no idea what my body wants. 

What’s your best vacation you’ve ever been on?

Every year I go to Sydney for Christmas, to see my grandparents and other family. Each year seems to be better than the last, so I’m not to sure which is my favourite. 

Favourite city?

Coimbra, Portugal. 

Favourite social media platform?

Tumblr. 

Favourite article of clothing?

My long hippie skirt that I wear whenever I get the chance. It’s gorgeous and I’m in love with it. 

Do you play any sports?

I used to play Ice Hockey. I had to stop because of health issues, and I’m not sure I want to play again. Although, I do miss skating a lot. 

Favourite meal of the day?

Lunch. 

What are you excited for?

Christmas! I can’t wait to see my family, go to the beach everyday and enjoy summer once again. 

Not excited for?

I’m not really sure, there isn’t anything that makes me feel awful at the moment. 

When was the last time you cried?

Last night, my head was hurting as well as my throat and I couldn’t talk at all. 

Dream house?

One that I built myself. 

What’s something you hate about the world?

Selfish people, selfish things, selfish minds. Being the kindest you can be, no matter how awful people are to you is the key to a happy life. My grandma told me, “Kind, but stern. Just because you are kind, does not mean you are a doormat.” I hate how people take kindness for granted and see it as weakness. 

What’s something you love about the world?

Love. I love, love. The feeling, the essence, the emotion, the spark of it. I love, love. @satans-helper​ is right, it’s magic. 

What scents do you like?

Earth smells, or the smell of fire smoke. Patchouli and candles, essential oils. The smell of bread baking is my favourite. Or when you hug someone and they have an inviting smell, like their own personal relaxer. (I dunno how else to describe that lmao)

What kind of sleeper are you?

I will sleep for hours upon end, or just a few. it really depends on how I’m feeling, what mood I’m in. 

Are you a cat or dog person?

Dogs. I am slightly afraid and slightly allergic to cats. 

How long would you survive in a zombie apocalypse?

A while I think. I used to be obsessed with Zombies. When I was 10 I even made my own get away bag. I don’t have it any more, but I remember all that was in it. I also enjoy learning about herbal medicines and such, that would probably do me some good. I also have friends who are good at conflict, which would help. So an estimate of maybe 2-3 years? probably not, I don't really know lmao. 

Are you trusting?

It takes me a while to trust people fully. 

What fictional character do you identify with?

Mitch Kramer and Slater from Dazed and Confused. My sister said Young Goob from Meet The Robinsons, and Mallory from the Spiderwick Chronicles. 

This is Goob btw. 

What labels do you commonly get?

Emotional, Straightforward, “mature for my age”. 

What song would be your life anthem?

Afraid Of The Dark by The Frights 

What issues are you dealing with rn?

My Iron, mental health, and a whole bunch of other shit that I’m not gonna get into. 

How can someone win you over?

Match my level of crazy. Be awkward and stupid and wild with me. 

What’s something about you people don’t know?

I have an interest in witchy things, most people in my life don’t have a clue. 

I tag @xx-kurt-cocaine--xx​ @livewiredroger​ @solohqrry​ @guns-n-crue​ @born-to-be-my-baby​ @antheasnow​ @eru-vande​ @malibubarbievince​ xx

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Heathers- Dragon AU

This is a WoF AU and it’s really popular on the Heathers Amino so I decided to post about it on here, too

Before the school

* Despite her MudWing blood, Chandler really doesn’t like the marsh. The bog and humidity makes her scales feel weird

* She was primarily raised in the SkyWing kingdom, but hatched in the swamp as the Bigwings. Kurt and Ram were in her troop

* McNamara grew up in a tribe around the SandWing kingdom. Her father was very powerful and wealthy with all the treasure he had

* Duke lived in hiding with her tribe on the other continent. Once the HiveWings found them, she fled across the ocean until she found the SkyWing kingdom, where she met Chandler

* Veronica hatched in the rainforest, where she spent most of her life until she was kidnapped

* Veronica never met her parents. It’s assumed that her mother was a RainWing and her father was a SeaWing with animus bloodline, which is where she got that power from

* JD lived at the volcano

The school

* Mac, Chandler, Duke, and Veronica all share a cave and are in a Winglet together

* Chandler has claimed the ledge in the cave as her sleeping spot. Duke sleeps in a hammock, McNamara sleeps on a stone platform, and Veronica sleeps in a moss burrow

* There’s also a spire that they climb on when they have something important to say

* Duke and Veronica have sun time together, while Chandler doesn’t understand it and McNamara is done with sunlight from living in the desert

* Mac hates water and waits on a ledge while in the underground lake

* Veronica enjoys hanging upside down from her tail

* It’s hard to decide who would win in a fight. Chandler is immune to fire, while she’s also able to breathe it. Mac has fire breath and a scorpion tail. Duke can control plants. Veronica can spray acid and blend in with her surroundings.

* Duke is probably the easiest to take out. McNamara is skilled with her ability to sting someone, but only if she can see or catch her opponent. Veronica could easily camouflage her scales and disappear from sight. She and Chandler could probably hang up on Mac. Between those two, it’s hard to decide on who’s stronger.

* Then again Veronica is small

* But she’s also an Animus so who knows

* History class is probably the worst and they usually end up sleeping

* JD blows up the fucking mountain btw

* Also he has access to Dragonbite Vipers

* His Animus powers are making him insane

Random explorations

* Veronica and her Winglet go to the different kingdoms

* IceWings were by far the worst because it’s so cold

* Everyone huddles with Mac because her scales are always heated

* Guard: State your business.

McNamara, with Duke, Veronica, and Chandler clambered on her back: Please give us warmth

* It was literally too cold to even fly so they had to drag themselves through the snow

* In contrast, the SandWing kingdom wasn’t any better

* Veronica, being half SeaWing, suffers

* Her gills get dried up and crusty and it hurts so much

* Duke likes the sunlight for two seconds and then she feels like she’s being burned alive

* Chandler is content, really. Her scales are practically absorbing the light

* Mac is like “lol y’all are pussies”

* The sand practically burns Duke’s claws

* Flying isn’t much better

* McNamara, when they get to her tribe: Please be cool. My tribe is kinda skeptical of strangers. I want them to like you.

McNamara, to her fellow SandWings: Hello everyone! I’m home!

Veronica: W A T E R

* Veronica WOULD NOT get out of the oasis pool

* They get to meet the current SandWing queen and it’s pretty cool

* The Queen, to Veronica: what is that??

Mac: a baby

* After the desert they head to the marsh

* Chandler is slightly embarrassed but she’s secretly happy to see her troop again

* Duke strongly dislikes the bog

* Mac and Veronica are fine with it

* Veronica rolls around in puddles until mud gets in her gills and she gags so violently it’s a wonder her lungs didn’t come out of her mouth

* Kurt and Ram tackle Chandler when they see her again

* Unfortunately the trio is cut short when angry SkyWings invade

* It’s time to be prisoners oof

* Chandler isn’t in captivity, but she can’t do much to help her friends

* SkyWing Queen, about Duke and Veronica: A live LeafWing AND a hybrid? These two can stay. They’ll be perfect additions to my collection.

SkyWing Queen, about McNamara: She...is normal.

Mac: >:O

* After narrowly escaping the death arena, they flee to the rainforest to hide

* Veronica hasn’t been there in awhile and is devastated to find out RainWings are still going missing. Not much she can do, though

* Chandler would definitely have a colorful RainWing girlfriend tbh

* Duke thinks her pet human is way better than pet sloths

* Also she LOVES the rainforest

* Mac is being critical so Veronica enchants a papaya to hit her in the snout, which knocks her right of the tree

* One night, JD speaks to Veronica in her sleep with a Dreamvisitor. To say the least, it was pretty frightening

* The warning he gives her was more of a threat and NightWings and SkyWings attack the rainforest the next day, which is devastating. A complete bloodbath.

* The Winglet has to fly away again, this time searching for the SeaWing kingdom, much to McNamara’s dismay

* She does not enjoy the ocean at all

[missrandomdreamer]

Dragon Age Inquisition Ladies  -so far-

*sorry for crappy picture quality btw ><, also some parts are still in progress for some reason i have more on Aisling’s past and more on Coronach’s future than vice versa lol still work in progress. Also its a pretty long post *

Coronach

“I would rather be hated for what I am, than loved for what I’m not.”-Kurt Cobain

Name: Coronach( Scottish term for a mourning song at a funeral) Adaar

Class: Mage: lighting and fire specialty

Race: Qunari

Age: 30

Height: 7′5

Hair: Greysih black, held up in a very tight bun

Skin: ashen grey

Eyes: bright violet

Hobbies: singing, reading especially poetry, hearing Blackwall and Solas’ stories and horse back riding among the different landscapes she has visited from being in the Inquisition

Lover: Blackwall

Bffs: Solas and Sera

Enemies? People she doesn’t get along with:  Vivienne, people who believe they are right all the time and disrespect others when they are already hurting

Personality: Coronach for the most part is quiet and caring, as well as extremely observant to those around her. However, do not mistake her quietness for meekness. One nasty word towards any of her allies she will fight back with every word and physical capability as possible. In addition, if certain buttons are pressed she will snap back like a dragon. Despite all of that,  she is  very motherly to Sera and Cole, but the latter especially. She tries to the best she can but has an anxiety of wandering if she is doing the right thing despite that she will commit to said choice with the mask of confidence although she later doubts her choices. 

Coronach is a secret hopeless romantic and when she falls in love she fall hard to the point she might become blind because of it.  She also has the capacity to feel things to the extreme. She loves tremendously which can be a problem sometimes and she can become extremely depressed. She  tries to hold it all together but she can’t and does need someone to confine in at times. She is a strong qunari but she does need help and isn’t afraid to admit it when things get to rough. 

Views on her on Blackwall and her close friends: Coronach was immediately swoon by Blackwall. 

Bonus: Despite knowing what happens in Trespasser I would like to think Coronach and Blackwall would get married and have a mabari as Blackwall talked about. They would also have twins to which Solas and Sera would be the god parents of lol Despite both of the godparents not being too keen they would spoil the heck out of the twins and let them get away with so much shit. The twins would probably be named after something in nature for both her and Blackwall have a fondness of it. 

Though in regards to Trespasser, Coronach would never emotionally heal after what goes on with Solas. That would emotionally damage her,  she would be extremely depressed and never truly recover. She really looked up to Solas  for he was her first real friend in the Inquisition.  And if  Blackwall were to die she would probably die soon after: for she loved him far too much to keep on living without him.

Aisling

“These footsteps breathe fire, jump, follow, my desire. My breathing goes quiet. Wake up you woke the lion. I’m taking over the front lines, staring out  into my enemies eyes. When tomorrow is over, I can only be dead or alive. I’m a Warrior. ” -Warrior lyrics by J.O.B. Ft. Anjulie

Name: Aisling ( meaning dream or vision in Irish, also a poetic term) Trevelyan

Class:  Mage of fire and ice

Race: human

Age:  25

Height: 5′5

Hair: reddish brown shaved on one side short shoulder length

Skin: pale as heck with lots of freckles. Also wears blue tattoos on her face

Eyes: sea foam green

Hobbies:  practicing her magic alone, usually wandering by herself in thought, fighting (the one thing she doesn’t have to think about to much: it keeps her distracted from her own thoughts)

Love Interest: Cullen

Close friends: ???  

Personality : Aisling  is constantly fighting to figure out who she is, what her purpose is and what to do with her life. She feels she doesn’t belong anywhere and just roams, especially after the chaos that occurred. She also is known for frequent mood swings: one time being happy and friendly with the next being on edge and angry. Thus fire and ice suits her elemental magic perfectly,one can never tell when she will snap or smile at you.  She has a temper and can also not mean what she says half the time, followed by immediately beating herself up over it. Aisling, with the case of Cullen on the adrenaline of emotion will flirt and say something but immediately regret it and be embarrassed afterward. 

The female mage also has problems making friends. She tends to hide a lot of how she is truly feeling and doesn’t like to let anyone in. Aisling has a lot of defenses despite this she is lonely and wants to talk to people. When she does find a connection between her and another she will attempt to becomes friends but its hard for her. Communication is not her strong suit and she is very afraid of creating bonds with people and opening up to them despite she would never admit it. Many see her as childish and unstable  very few people know how to approach her. Despite all of this she is a demon on the battle field. She fights with every inch of her body and soul,  believing every day she could die and welcoming it with open arms. 

Story that is not so cannon to game: Aisling came from a abusive family life as well as the circle of mages wasn’t any better. She felt she never belonged anywhere so when things got chaotic she booked it out of there as soon as possible. However, getting swallowed in by the Inquisition was not part of her plan. She hates being in charge and cannot stand the titles or people calling her by her family name.  The only perk to being in the Inquisition is getting revenge on her family and blackmailing them after what they put her through. 

Views on Cullen and others:

Cullen: 

Bonus: As I have ranted before, how I wanted to romance Cullen in the first game but wasn’t able to I came up with a theme. My original warden in the first dragon age game was named Sonya (human mage,whose name also means dream) reddish hair  and blue tattoos. She had a crush on Cullen but of course nothing came of it because of their places in society and she would soon pass away at the fight of the blight. However, Cullen meets Aisling who is similar but also drastically different than Sonya. When Cullen sees Aisling he can’t help but remember Sonya and feels a bit drawn to her despite how unpredictable Aisling is.

[o-dasaku]

i was wondering if you could explain the descriptions on your fgc posts and how they relate to the characters? i'm v interested

oooo for sure

don’t you (forget about me) > don’t you try and pretend, it’s my feeling we’ll win in the end. 

this one’s kind of obvious, the back half of the lyric is my brot3 tag for blamtina - they’re altogether hopeful kids that go through some (a lot of) shitty times. they’ll come out on top in the end, they’re sure of it.

here comes the sun >  here comes the sun and i say, it’s all right.

it’s a metaphor!!!!!!!! dani’s the sun, you fools!!!!!!!!!!! i don’t want to say that santana spent all of s4 hung up on brittany, but santana spent all of s4 hung up on brittany. i have no doubt she hooked up with her fair share of beautiful ladies, but she definitely didn’t date - i don’t think it’s because she was waiting for brittany to dump sam (okay she was, but not so they could be together again), i think she genuinely just didn’t feel super comfortable with it - she never really dated brittany, they were best friends and then they were girlfriends too and santana doesn’t want to leap into that minefield for the first time with just anybody.

enter: daniella perea, struggling musician who picks up a job at spotlight to help pay the bills and gets along with everybody, which is fucking rare because 90% of that diner’s staff are broadway divas in waiting (and santana) so people take notice and santana doesn’t want to like her, but she does. she really does.

so moving on from britt is hard and it’s scary, but it’s alright. she has dani. they’ll figure it out.

creep > i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul.

i almost picked like twenty different lyrics here because it’s a Very Them song, but i feel like this speaks very well to their characters: this lyric is rachel in a nutshell, she doesn’t just want to the best, she wants to be perfect. it speaks to brody because it’s the antithesis to him: he doesn’t care to be perfect, he just wants to be himself (who, lucky him, happens to be very talented).

sidenote: i think brochel really work on that level, rachel challenges brody to want to be better while brody can remind rachel that being less than perfect is perfectly okay. i’m still sad about how they treated him.

never can say goodbye > though i try and try to hide my feelings, they always seem to show.

listen, i hate to draw riverdale/glee comparisons, but quinn’s veronica lodge. you want fire, cheryl bombshell? sorry, but my speciality’s ice. quinn wants to be cold, wants to be this untouchable ice queen but-

she just isn’t (just like veronica, funnily enough). quinn fabray feels so much and isn’t that just the worst? i don’t think quinn wears her heart on her sleeve the way so many characters on this show do, but she feels things very strongly, much to her own annoyance. whether or not the world sees isn’t really up to her either, as much as she wishes it was.

(on the riverglee comparisons: santana is cheryl, puck is reggie and sam is archie. i know people cast finn as archie but ehhhh. i don’t have anything super solid on anyone else, but rachel is probably betty and kurt is probably kevin (i’m not saying that because they’re both gay, more “i exist solely to prop up betty/rachel when needed”). jbi is evelyn from the farm and i will hear No Arguments on that.)

being alive > i’ll always be there as frightened as you to help us survive being alive.

i’ll be honest, there is an infinitely more kurt line in this song (someone to crowd you with love/someone to force you to care/someone to make you come through) but um, this is literally one of my top 3 musical theatre songs and that lyric is one of my absolute favorite lyrics ever, musicals or otherwise. 

but this line does relate to kurt (and blaine, i guess- this song is clearly meant to implicate him- for the first time, i really know what it means) well enough. i know there’s a fuckton of kurt and death meta but i don’t claim to know him well enough to make sense of any of it so we’ll look at this very shallowly - i think kurt experiences life quite differently to the normal person, and we can owe that to his mother’s death or the long term bullying or whatever tickles your pickle, but he does seem a little... removed, i think. i don’t think he’s afraid to be alive, but i do think he has a long list of reservations about being alive. i think that’s where blaine generally works for him, because blaine is so alive - even if he’s scared to death about it (see: sadie hawkins, the slushie incident, literal depression), sometimes. 

i’m not here to shit on any ships, but i do wish i shipped klaine more. oh well. i’ll always have s2.

i feel pretty/unpretty > i was told i was beautiful, what does that mean to you?

i know this is a quinn line (and a very good one at that), but i find it interesting when i apply it to both of the girls. quinn and rachel are both very beautiful, though in clearly different ways - and they both have trouble believing that. or more accurately, quinn finds herself beautiful but not her self. 

anyway. i wonder if quinn’s parents ever called her beautiful, before she was quinn. they seem incredibly shallow, even if judy develops away from that - i have a headcanon that lucy was very close with their pastor (not...in a creepy way jdsdlaks) and he was pretty much the only positive interaction she had with any elders until after quinn was a thing but ANYWAY he always told lucy that she was a beautiful person but only tells quinn that she looks lovely. that informs a lot of this performance (especially this line) for me. anyway. whatever.

so to rachel: her brief interactions with her fathers make me think that she grew up being told she was beautiful quite often, but then her peers are always telling her differently - i have no doubt that places more esteem in her father’s opinions, but i’m sure that being told two different things would confuse the fuck out of a kid. quinn was likely spearheading the “crazy berry is ugly” craze in their freshman year, so. i don’t know. the what does that mean to you? is an interesting question for that line of thought.

being good won’t be good enough > i’ll be the best or i’ll be nothing at all.

please, she said emphatically.

everytime > every time i try to fly, i fall; without my wings, i feel so small.

listen. what a marley mood.

it’s all coming back to me now > there were things i’d never do again, but then they’d always seemed right.

rachel Fucks Up A Lot. we been knew. i do think she learns from a lot of her fuck-ups (not all, see: leaving nd for cabaret and then leaving funny girl for that’s so rachel), but she did genuinely think she was doing the right thing a lot of the time (see: telling finn about drizzle’s true paternity and robbing puck and quinn of that opportunity) and i don’t think she’d change much, if she had another chance - she just wouldn’t go repeating the bare majority of fuck ups.

hand in my pocket/i feel the earth move > and what it comes down to, my friends, is that everything’s just fine, fine, fine.

listen, considering this is their proposal song, i would’ve hoped for something a bit more meaningful. but i do think that there is something to the simplicity of this song, - brittany and santana are happy. they have no issues this season (outside of britt’s bridezilla tendencies) and as much as they’ve always been the type to get their feelings out via song (see: landslide, songbird, mine), they’re definitely at a point where they can just. talk about their feelings.

their song is simple because they are too, finally. what it all comes down to? they’re fine, fine, fine. :P

human nature > see that girl? she knows i’m watching, she likes the way i stare.

another song i almost picked like, five different lyrics for lmao. while the others spoke nicely to characters, this lyric is quite indicative of their mid-s3 relationship (mercy is still w shane, sam’s trying to push in on that) and uh, i think this is an unpopular opinion. so. hang tight, kids.

while mercedes and sam were certainly attracted to one another, i think there’s a few more things at play here: sam likes being in a relationship, knows that he and mercedes could be good together and he’s trying to recapture being sixteen again, so dating the girl he’d been embarking on something with is a pretty great way to do that. mercedes? i think she likes the attention, likes actually being noticed. she likes the way he stares, basically. (i’m dropping lyrics into explanations now, sue me.)

crazy/u drive me crazy (you guys are all on notice for letting this flop, btw) > tell me i’m not in the blue, that i’m not wasting my feelings on you.

marley’s spent all episode being warned against jake, but i think it’s interesting that she’s basically seeking him out here and asking are they right? his response leaves something to be desired (tell me i’m the only one you’ll see) but at least it’s a conversation they’re having? it does speak well to marley for the rest of the time she’s on the show - she’s best when talking her issues/concerns out (see: her eating disorder v her wanting to stay abstinent, neither end well for her but she seems more at peace with the latter) while jake is. jake.

(i love jake always!!!!!!!!!!)

and finally, need you now > guess i’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

i changed this like, twenty times. the alternative was their ship tag (and i wonder if i ever cross your mind/for me it happens all the time), but i think this speaks a lot more strongly for their characters than that does to their relationship. puck and rachel are both very all-or-nothing characters, but 99% of the time they’re going to pick all. it fucks them over a lot of the time, but i don’t think they regret it much.

[jbuffyangel]

The Weekly Rundown (10/07/18-10/13/18)

Sorry so late! I’m getting caught up on articles. Almost there :) Time to rundown what I’m watching, loving, hating and everything in between! Spoilers ahead!

God Friended Me (”The Good Samaritan”)

Confession time: I didn’t pay very close attention to this week’s episode, but Miles and Cara continue to be adorable. Pretty sure I ship it.

Manifest (”Turbulence”)

I’m not really feeling the chemistry between Josh Dallas and Athena Karkanis. However, the chemistry between  Melissa Roxburgh and JR Ramirez is smoldering.

Josh Dallas is my blue eye baby who makes me feel all the things. He conveyed so many emotions without saying a word in the scene where Ben and Grace discussed the man in her life. WOW!    

I want to believe Grace is in love with Ben and not Danny (because it's Josh Dallas and that's all the reason she needs), but I'm not buying it... yet

The whole twins being different ages is a never ending mind bender.

Seriously though what did Ben do for a living?

The Gifted (“coMplications”)

All I want is for Marcos to hold Dawn forever and snuggle with Lorna. Why can’t I have the things that I want?

But seriously though these Marcos and baby scenes are killing me.

Marcos fighting the Frost sister’s mind control was amazing. He was ready to tear everything apart to get his Lorna and his baby. SO HOT.

Andy, buddy what are you doing? Sure, they gave you a better hair cut and cool clothes, but Reeva is crazy. Tell me you know that boy!

I’m having trouble understanding why Reed didn’t want to tell his wife and daughter his powers were coming back. He has two mutant children! They tried to equate Lauren’s fear of “coming out” to Reed’s but it’s just not the same. He was her parent and he hunted mutants. She legitimately feared her father’s rejection. Reed isn’t in the same situation at all and I see no reason to for him to be lying to everyone for months.

Kate hugs Reed once he tells her the truth, which is nice, but were we really expecting her to reject him? Did the writers forget they have two mutant children?

The Gifted blew past all the build up to Clarice and John’s relationship and now they’ve sewn the seeds for the break up - in the third episode. This whole “Clarice is a spy for the Erg and lies to John about it” storyline is only going one place. John is doing his fair share of lying and pushing Clarice away. Needless to say I am unhappy with how this relationship is being handled.

F.B.I. (“Green Birds” and  “Prey”)

Finally got caught up on F.B.I. I thought “Prey” was a much stronger episode than “Green Birds.” 

I am so glad they cast Sela Ward! I love her. Her character is much more likable as Maggie and Omar’s boss.

I’m here for Omar doing hot things because Omar is hot. I feel warm every time he talks about his military experience. 

Still a little iffy about this show, but I’ll stick with it for now.

This Is Us (Katie Girls)

The depth of my hate for Jack's father knows no bounds.

"Or you can stay and I'll kill him." Honestly, I was okay with that option too Jack.

Randall is a mess watching his brother's movie and I stan this bromance so hard.

I am really freaking glad Randall is taking Kate on because I AM SO MAD AT HER.

Well that conversation swerved quickly. Stay on point Randall.

Okay well now we're off on a whole other thing and Kate is crying. Good grief children.

Not sure how Randall & Kate's discussion became a fight about adoption. The point was to discuss Kate's insensitivity regarding her remark about being the only person able to pass on Jack's genes. How did she turn it into Randall's insensitivity about her miscarriage?

Beth, Miguel and Toby having a group text to discuss their messed up in laws is AMAZING.

Randall is terrible at apologizing but also WHY IS HE APOLOGIZING?

I'm trying to hang with my girl Kate here. I've had a miscarriage and it's devastating, but your personal pain is not an excuse to be hurtful to others. Understanding where Randall was coming from was not a long bridge to cross.

I am so relating to Kevin putting the pieces together regarding Jack's service.

Beth got fired? NOOOOOO. My Beth!  

Toby's reaction to Randall showing up was gold.

KATE AND JACK ARE DREAM SEQUENCING AND I AM NOT OKAY. Btw Jack could you advise Kate to stop being such a jackass to Randall? Thanks bro.

Awkward Rebecca and Jack is the worst. You are soul mates kids. Get it together.  

Jack wants to marry you Rebecca and have lots and lots of babies. You are his dream.

I hope Randall and Beth have 9 months of savings. Suze Orman says you need 9 months of savings.

Marriage is never 50/50. But I think Beth and Randall have been going 90/10 for awhile and it's time for that ratio to shift.

I love how the writers find commonality in their characters in ways you never thought of before. Randall and Toby sharing their struggles with depression and anxiety was such a beautiful way to bond these characters

Kate wanted to marry Mark Paul Gosselar. Same girl.

"You came across the country to say you are sorry. That's the most Dad move ever." HELLO KATE. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. You could have added that he didn't need to apologize and you are the one who is sorry but I don't want to editorialize too much. Carry on.)

Rebecca pulled a Jack Pearson on Jack Pearson. EPIC.

Marry you the man who does dishes. 

A Million Little Things (”Save The Date”)

HOLY. FREAKING. CRAP. THEY. ALL. FOUND. OUT. That was fast y’all! Wow!

If we’re blowing past the big affair secret does that mean we’ll find out the reason John killed himself? It’s an annoying mystery. Cough up the answers, show.

All the awards to Grace Park. She’s been sadly under utilized on this show until now and boy did she come out swinging. The scenes where she confronts Eddie and Delilah were amazing. 

I cheered when Grace slapped Eddie. I have no sympathy for him. He’s cheating because his wife is gone at work all the time? It’s called a mortgage jackass. Guitar lessons aren’t going to get it done. 

It irritates me when people act like they have no choice in who they sleep with. Eddie is walking around like falling in love with Delilah was an accident. Listen pal you are a grown ass man. You made choices. Own it. Cheating is such a mean thing to do.  Nobody is forcing anyone to stay in these marriages. Get a divorce before you go hopping into bed with someone else.

I’m only slightly less angry with Delilah but that’s only because her husband jumped off a building. Her scene where she screams to friends to ask if she was the reason John killed himself was gutting. Guit is a bitch.

By the way, even if Jon made his peace with the affair it doesn’t make the affair okay. Also, nobody asked for Katherine’s opinon. Pretty sure she’d tell everyone where to stick if if they’d did though.

I feel like Gary is representing the audience in this episode, i.e. me. I don’t think the writers needed to muddy the water with Gary’s issues with marriage, his parents divorce and his birthday. I understand Jon and Delilah were his shining example of marriage bliss, but we didn’t need to make this about his childhood trauma. His anger was warranted by itself. Delilah and Eddie did an awful thing.

We need to move it along with Maggie’s storyline. She’s the friends-with-benefit-rando-friend-everyone-just-met-but-pretend-like-they’ve-known-her-since-always. Her impermanence in all of these people’s lives makes the level she’s included in things... odd. Let’s get the cancer out in the open and solidify her relationships - particularly with Gary. 

Blindspot (“Hella Duplicitous”)

Jane's hair is long. That's how ya know she's evil again

Seriously how do they not know Remi is back? She's so cranky. Jane is much more cheerful. Also, I feel like her voice is three octaves lower.

Remi can fight with samurai swords. Who knew? A list of all of her skills would be great.

Do I call her Remi or Jane y'all? I'm going with Remi for now.

Remi's impression of Jane being worried about Kurt was pretty spot on. Well played evil one.

Anyone else enjoying Remi looking all murdery every time anyone mentions Roman is dead? Same girl. Except I'm sad Luke Mitchell isn't on the show anymore not murdery because that'd be weird.

Jane's dying except she's Remi so like that's a double dose of suck.

Oh score. Cure. This is like Elena being vampire. They'll fix it. I ain't worried. Imma gonna get Jeller babies. Or should I say PLEEEEEEEEEASE give me Jeller babies.

OH MY GOD SHE'S HALLUCINATING ROMAN. Luke Mitchell IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so here for Roman being the crazy voice in Jane/Remi's head.

Sorry Remi. Your super evil terrorist group is canceled. Sorry not sorry girl. Watch Season 1-Season 3 and catch up girl.

Two Sandstorm operatives is more like a club than a terrorist group, but okay Remi. Gotta start somewhere I guess.

It's weird that the cure is re-erasing Remi's memories but also let's re-erase Remi's memories. I ain't a fan.

Damn. Blake is dead? That... was unexpected. Okay so now I'm imagining that Blake and Roman are happy in heaven together. Leave me to my dream.

Kurt is scared... I love you my cupcake.

Wiping her memory and meeting Kurt Weller was the best thing that ever happened to Remi because she's not nice and Jane is awesome. Kudos to Blindspot for reinforcing their central love story while also wreaking absolute havoc on it.

Is Zapata evil now? Is everybody evil now?

Weitz is director. Ugh.

"You can't keep watching me all the time." Girl, he does that when you are totally healthy. Kurt Weller giving Jane fuzzy bunny stares is the show. Seriously, someone show Remi S1-S3.

Haha. She squeezed Kurt too hard to hurt him. What a bitch. Also awesome.

Zapata's smile when she sees Reade on TV. Girl go home.

Rich and Patterson are gonna cure Jane using Santa magic and it's gonna be friggin awesome.

Reciting the wedding video is creepy Remi.

Noooo.... don't break out Mama Shepherd. She be crazier than you Remi and at this point that's saying A LOT. 

[gleereviewpodcast]

Marie’s Lists

So I needed to leave the Rachel podcast early, and therefore I didn’t get to give you guys my lists! Therefore, I’m going to post them here for anyone interested. Under the cut. 

What are your 15 (Ranked or Unranked) Worse Songs ?

All of mine are unranked BTW

Smile (the Lily Allen one): I felt like Lea was putting on a weird accent during this one. Maybe it was just the production? Regardless, this was a weird one to me.

Next to Me: We’ve covered it before, but this song was absolutely wrong for Lea’s voice. And Idina’s. It hurts me to say, but true. Should’ve been a Naya/Amber duet. 

A Change Would Do You Good: Ok, first of all, I’m just not a fan of the song. Second, even though I’m not nearly anti-Brody’s voice as Emily, it is pretty clear on this one that he’s not nearly as good as Lea. Not her fault, but still don’t like it.

All That Jazz: Glee can’t do Chicago justice. Watch the movie, people, and you will feel my pain.

A Thousand Miles: Samchel must die. 

Time After Time: STOP RUINING SONGS I LIKE SAMCHEL!

The Way You Look Tonight/You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile: The Way You Look Tonight is a genuinely fantastic standard Frank Sinatra song I adore. If I ever get married, you can bet it’ll be at my wedding. This mash-up RUINED the song for me. I’m not a huge Annie fan, but it ruined this song too. If they had just picked one, I would’ve been good with it. 

Firework: Lea Michele is too good to sing Katy Perry.

Big Girls Don’t Cry: I have never liked this song. I think she sounded better on it than Kurt or Blaine, but this song must die. It’s so annoying.

My Man: Sorry Emily and David. I snooze through it.

Who Are You Now: Why the everloving fuck is Sue singing on this?

Break Free: You guys know, Arianna Grande annoys the crap out of me. And I don’t think this is Lea’s style. 

I’ll Never Fall in Love Again: Yup, the other Samchel song, is also awful.

Barracuda: We all agree on this one. I actually like the original, but whereas they can sometimes give Lea rock songs and I end up loving them (see Creep), this one did not work for me at all. Maybe if they were more creative with the arangement, I could’ve dug it, but this was a miss for me.

I’m the Greatest Star: I just hate this song. 

Which is the worst of them? If we’re talking Lea on it, for me it’s Next to Me. If we’re talking in general, A Thousand Miles. If I could get a Lea only version of it though, that would’ve been ok. I think a lot of my hate is also thinking of the plot around it which makes me want to gag and vomit and die. 

What are your 15 (Ranked or Unranked) Best Songs ?

Don’t Rain On My Parade:  This was Rachel’s hail-Mary moment and if Make You Feel My Love didn’t exist, this would be my favorite Rachel solo. She comes out there with great power in her voice, and makes this song her bitch. I love it. 

O Holy Night: Ok, as much as I hate her winning Winter Showcase with no competition, I have to admit, this is gorgeous. And I hate Christmas music, and the religious songs especially normally do nothing for me. In terms of showing off her vocal power, this song is one of the best for showing it. Claps for this one.

Make You Feel My Love: I sob and cry every time I hear it. It’s another one where she just sounds lovely. 

I Feel Pretty/Unpretty: I basically get a vocal orgasm when I hear them sing on this together. It’s beautiful. I still listen to this one a lot. 

This Time: The only song in Dreams Come True I liked! It’s a little cheesey, but as far as original songs go, it’s one of the few that’s pretty good. And I just think Lea sounded good on it, and as a song, it was a good one to wrap up Rachel. 

Rolling in the Deep: the arrangement and her singing with Jon Groff does things to me. 

Mama Mia: Is this an odd choice? Maybe. But if I don’t dance and sing to it loudly (let’s be real I shout to it) I’ll be damned. 

Poker Face: Because I’m a sucker for different arrangements and Idina Menzel.

Listen to Your Heart: Ok, my embarrassing backstory for this song. When I was a young high schooler, I lacked gaydar. I had a crush on a guy who was so gay. He did come out to me as bisexual, and he had a boyfriend, but I had deluded myself into thinking he’d dump his BF and fall in love with me. I’d cry to this song about how i should tell him my feelings (I did eventually and it was awkward as hell). So I like the song in general for that reason. As far as in the show, it reminds me of the giddiness I felt when she got a relationship that didn’t suck.

Hello 12, Hello 13, Hello Love: Gah, more Jon/Leagasming.

The Rose: I actually found this song beautiful. It will show up later in a bad way, but here, it’s in a good way. I think the reason it shows up later in a bad way is because it made me sad because I felt like it would’ve been a good song about her relationship with Finn and it was a shitty audition number.

Defying Gravity: Wicked is magical. 

To Love You More: So I know Emily isn’t a fan. I think it sounds pretty.

Brave: This is mostly because I needed a Pezberry number. Gosh, they sound sexy together. 

Faithfully: Now it’s sad. 

Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart: I just love the original and it’s cute. 

Yesterday: It’s a different arrangement I love. And it makes me sad too. And Yesterday is one of my favorite Beatles’s songs of all time.

What are your 5 (Ranked or Unranked) Worse Performances ?

My Man (Plus every time she’s boring on a stage): This is more of a type of song that she did. . .a lot. She would sing emotionally on a stage, maybe making some faces, but otherwise just walking around and being boring. I obviously don’t expect crazy dancing during this, but just something not boring.

A Thousand Miles: It looked tacky and green screened. It also was my worst nightmare in that it lead to one of the most utterly disgusting moments Glee has ever given me of Sam and Rachel kissing. Ugh.  

The Rose: This is actually a fantastic song, and I recommend you guys looking up the lyrics if you haven’t. This could’ve been an incredibly meaningful song for Rachel. INSTEAD, it was her auditioning for the stupid TV show (ugh) in a goofy way. Ugh.

I’m the Greatest Star: It felt underwhelming after all the build-up to Rachel on Broadway. Also, again, I’m spoiled by Tatiana Maslany. It felt like Lea being over-the-top instead of Rachel playing a character.

It’s All Coming Back to Me: 100% context on this one. Rachel shouldn’t have gotten into NYADA because of this.

What are your 5 (Ranked or Unranked) Best Performances ?

Make you feel my love: Self-explanitory

DROMP: Lea Michele commanded that stage.

Hello 12: The Jon/Lea chemistry was amazing.

Don’t You Want Me Baby: She’s wearing an absurd outfit and drunk and flirting with Blaine. It’s great.

Run Joey Run: This was just hilarious.

Worst 5 Episodes of the series ?

Props: I don’t think I need to go into this one.

Untitled Rachel Berry Project: At this point, we’re meant to be happy she goes to this awful TV show. Nope.

Frenemies: You guys know how I feel about her towards Santana here

Back-Up Plan: My dreams came true! Now I don’t care about it, one month later! Let me abandon everything, right now.

Trio: Just more of the awfulness with her and Santana. And I felt bad for Kurt and Elliot for getting dragged into it all.

Best 5 Episodes of the series ?

Quarterback: Not going to lie, this is all Lea for me. I cry.

Loser Like Me: This was basically Rachel’s redemption for me.

The Break-Up: Her break-up scene with Finn still stands out to me as one of Lea’s better dramatic acting scenes.

Pilot: This was a great set-up, for what should’ve been dealt with more in the show, about her insecurities.

Theatricality: She handles the Shelby stuff very maturely, and I do feel bad for her in this one.

[grizzlefur]

WWEm - Back Like a Recurrent UTI

In response to a comment from a reader, which is frankly one comment more than I ever thought I’d get, I’m dropping the interline punctuation. Be aware I may be switching to Comic Sans next week though.

Transmission date: Monday 5/Tuesday 6 June 2017.

Coming at you off the back of Medium-Strength Rules, this is THURSDAY AFTERNOON RAW!

so yeah, extreme rules was kind of crap like, i don't need it to be all barbed wire rope exploding table deathmatches, but that was honestly tamer than a lot of episodes of raw it's like waiting a fortnight for a jalfrezi and getting a shitty mushroom dopiaza or something (that's the subtitle of the dvd release, btw) (Extreme Rules 2017: The Shitty Mushroom Dopiaza of Wrestling) kkb took the belts, though, so that's good at least in any case, i should probably stop using this blog to bitch about ppvs that we're not watching and actually watch the show just kidding, it's my blog, i can do whatever the fuck i want NEXT UP: THE HIGHLY EFFECTIVE HABITS OF SUCCESSFUL LEAFCUTTER ANTS (2017, 7hrs 41mins) *daniel starts raw* dang ah well we'll get back to that particular gem we kick off with a dramatic slideshow of an entirely undramatic two-chilli rules main event if you haven't been keeping up with the results, joe won by stealing a pin opportunity and choking finn to death i have genuinely no clue how they're going to build a joe/brock feud without turning one of them, which would make no sense and be bullshit were the hardyz in the title sequence before? i am very unobservant, so it's possible jesus fuck, guys, you don't need to keep weaponising the pyro to see what i say we're back in the mohegan sun later, joe talks about life but now, here comes a bray to chop off your head or possibly declaim some eschatological craziness could be both who knows i'm wearing a SanItY shirt, i don't give a shit aww, apparently he's here to fight roman disappointing can he chop roman's head off? booker's still on announce, which is weird given that otunga was around to be on the pico de gallo rules preshow panel ok, bray's got a mic so at least we get some preaching before roman gets here apparently sunday was the beginning of the end, because bray will not be there to slay the beast because he was stabbed through the eye with his own sword of salvation but he's fine, because he's still a god (i'm not even paraphrasing) he's here to pass judgment on the guilty which includes basically everybody who isn't him he mentions roman, the arena roof levitates on the cloud of boos he's vowed to personally punish everyone, starting with roman now oh, and here he is personally, i would not enter a room with a man who had just levelled that particular bit of demagoguery at me but hey, i'm not roman reigns loving the guy on hardcam with the I CAME TO BOO ROMAN sign so did everyone else, it seems apocalyptic cult leader and self-proclaimed god vs big taciturn punch man which way is the heel/face divide even meant to go in this situation enormous boos, roman takes bray's mic, boos redouble apparently this kind of public hate is why roman is the guy sure, why not better than proclaiming yourself the BIG FIGHT man cannot tweet roman coldcocks bray, start the match bray nearly lands sister abigail within about six seconds that would have been fucking hilarious although it kind of feels like maybe bray should have a new finisher to fit this whole bringing judgment upon the guilty thing or maybe that's just my overly-narrative booking instincts who can say (that is definitely what it is) fuck off, daniel i'll rescind your fruit bowl privileges bray avoids a samoan drop through the incredibly advanced tactic of punching roman in the head repeatedly that's the kind of tactical nous you only get by anointing yourself with the burnt grave earth of your diabolic mistress as the saying goes did we really need to cut to that enormously wide shot where the camera's on the other side of a lighting rig several astronomical units away from the ring? like, we get that the mohegan sun's big no need to prove this at the expense of beign able to see shit if i wanted to watch insects wrestle while i shine a torch into one of my eyes, i could do that at home i'm going off on tangents a lot here because this match is slow as fuck roman is still creeped out to the point of a nearfall by bray's spiderwalk goes for a pin off an uranage, then takes roman to the top rope we could be here a while he does a few punches, roman headbutts him for longer than would seem necessary before turning it into a powerbomb roman cocks his hand, takes a couple tries to hit bray what happens if he cocks his hand and doesn't do anything with it? does he have to punch something to get rid of it before it goes off accidentally? or can he rack his forearm to eject a loaded fist? enquiring minds want to know anyway, while that muse was visiting me, bray heard roman going oooooooo and rolled out, took a driveby but punched roman's head off so it seems my earlier proposal was correct huh i can call murders better than matches bray goes for sister abigail, roman reverses into a superman punch and a really slow spear for the pin so yeah that happened meanwhile, someone in the crowd has leveraged all their crafting skills to make a sign informing us that BROCK LESNAR IS TICKLISH corey invents the adjective 'slaughterous' yeah, ok bray deserves new words end segment later on, we have joe doing a thing but next, we talk about the shitshow that was the 'extreme' women's title match "But can Bayley get EXTREEEEEME?" "No." but now, we have charly interviewing enzo and cass enzo's conscious, which is a change charly asks enzo about their match tonight with enzo and cass, he responds by creeping on charly and insulting corey's hair cass is insulted by the rumours that he was attacking his bro, promises to watch his back at all times and then they leave, and enzo returns to creep on charly alone good backwatching, colin what if charly was the mystery assailant it makes so much sense anyway, now we have a dull slideshow of the dull women's title match and photos of the one welt on bayley's back, which has made her take the night off somebody send jericho to talk to her in his curtain room/office, kurt is confused by his phone and here is alexa to present terms she wants a celebration of her entire life tonight because the this is your life segment went down so well outstanding kurt immediately comes back like fuck no that's an awful idea this is your life was dreadful and anyway you owe nia a title shot tonight alexa is none too pleased and slightly shellshocked but here's dean, aka 33% of the best bit of semi-notable rules and now, here's a very large man on a stool dressed entirely in scarves and fragments of scarves, with a song he wrote after seeing a leaf fall on the side of the highway

actual quote

it's a song about how dean sucks, basically

with a subtext about how elias deserves a title shot

dean's music interrupts it

it's an elias segment, so corey is SO ANGRY

dean does his hey dude hold on a second i just want to PUNCH thing

hits him until he goes away, and demands a title rematch but here's miz on the tron, like fuck no he's wearing a bow tie for the kickoff celebration of the ic title comeback tour and elias blindsides dean into his swinging neckbreaker and shouts at him, because sometimes you just gotta but up next, samoa joe the mohegan sun fans need something to cheer, or they're going to riot but first, dean storms backstage runs into kurt, asks for a ref in miz's dressing room kurt's like no, we've got a party planned and i'm scared of maryse, please go away no dean, don't go to miz's dressing room so kurt ejects him from the building it is just heel city so far oh hey, it's joe funny, that because the prevailing heel archetype at the moment is apparently 'large samoan man named joe' first shot of the match card graphics for great balls of fire, and it looks like shit if you're making a title graphic, maybe don't put a flashy effect around the word BALLS in the centre joe thinks brock ain't shit and wants to take everything he owns including his cushy non-wrestling schedule i think we all want brock's ability to draw a salary and have fans without doing shit joe also wants paul heyman, just for giggles oh hey, paul didn't see you there (largely because you were backstage and i don't have camera control) paul does his usual spiel, and still needs to check the definition of 'defending' does his usual thing of hi joe aren't you awesome can i come into your ring sir please don't hurt me but btw my client also thinks you yourself ain't shit does a soliloquy about worrying for a living, turns it into a jew joke sigh addresses the fact that brock/finn would have been a great story, while brock/joe is just going to be two large angry men trying to shoot kill each other paul does his usual great job of hyping both people in this match you're great, but my client's better paul shakes hands with joe, tries to leave, joe grabs him again and has an earnest face-to-face conversation he's so well-spoken he's like hey paul i understand you're just a legal representative but jsyk i'm about to choke the life out of you and this is exactly what it's going to feel like and then he does calm joe is the most intimidating joe refs get involved, but not until paul goes limp the crowd are unsure how to react to this assault joe shouts at the crowd some more, then leaves and we cut to ads on the sight of paul on the floor and we come back backstage, with kurt like THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO at joe who's like i don't know would you like me to demonstrate loooooooom but here comes seth to shout at joe and intervene also he has a new merch vest to show off kurt's like hey this sounds like a good match this booking shit is easy joe sidles off with a dark look, end thing but now we have slater and rhyno facing the kkb with the former's entrance being helpfully played under the announce team talking earnestly about joe the announcers and graphics team need to decide whether they're sheamus and cesaro or cesaro and sheamus dramatic slideshow of the cage match, making it make even less sense lovely closeup of jeff's post-dive 'holy fuck why do i still do this to myself' face bell rings, instead of getting out of the ring, cesaro creates an novel distraction by running across the ring and sliding out in the opponents' corner while sheamus commences to beating the piss out of heath slater knocks them both down, goes for a hot tag, cesaro pulls rhyno off the apron, brogue for the pin so that was a thing i'll be honest, i just love seeing them with the belts and they get mic spots awesome sheamus is like hey guys look like we know how to do this wrestling thing who knew are you all happy the hardyz came back well then you're all twats you know who isn't happy they came back? the hardyz, who basically ain't shit they reiterate their claim to be the bar, cue music and celebration but here's tjp backstage runs into neville oh so coincidentally like congrats, but where the fuck is my title shot neville does his usual patience, young one thing, tjp will no longer take this shit neville is a man of his word, and he'll give tj his shot if he takes care of mustafa next cut for ads, and here's that match tj's straight in with the slightly excessive aggression, tries to crush ali's face across the corner with his foot and then a bunch of cool spots happen faster than i can type about them but that should go without saying, really thanks for slowing things down with that really long rest headlock, tj mustafa does his lovely top rope twist torndo ddt, tries for the inverted 450, tj reverses into a detonation kick for the pin again with the really short matches mustafa deserves better tj swaggers up the ring, neville's crazy pyro hits, he basically shits himself, it's hilarious he's like i'm sorry my apprentice, i talked to kurt but we can't have a match tonight i tried tj shouts at him, storms off, so he blindsides him and beats the shit out of him on the stage and then says he can have his shot tomorrow on 205 i say 'says', more 'northernly rants' cut for ads, and we come back with another shattered dreams production goldust's like excuse you did you steal my format and my chair it is ON motherfucker promises to bring the whole movie industry into his coming golden age how this will interact with bray's prophesied apocalypse is unclear but now, in the women's locker room, mickie and dana congratulate sasha on her dance moves alexa comes in, sasha nopes out of the room and alexa's like hey girls what do you think about nia cutting in line for the title what a bitch right dana and mickie are like lol no we'll be at ringside laughing at you announce spot, and kurt appears to call corey away for urgent business involving gesturing at his phone and looking annoyed i have no clue what all this is building to if there's been foreshadowing, i've missed it cole tries to ask him what that's all about, corey's like OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT kalisto's here he's lost the aggressively sculpted dragon mask, back to more of an nxt-era lucha dragons thing back in mexican colours and everything whatever happened to el local ...okay, i totally did not know he was ricardo rodriguez i wouldn't have known who that was back when i started watching nxt, to be fair thanks, internet huh anyway, back on the show, ...mike? ambushes kurt backstage to ask what the fuck's going on with those emails or w/e he uses slightly more professional language, because he's talking to his boss while i'm screaming semi-informed obscenities into the formless void of the internet kurt's like nope, anonymous dude, this is private and walks out of the arena and dean sneaks in the door just before it closes dean ambrose: back like a recurrent uti (his disappointing third album) and as we watch him come in, the revival just happen to be in the back of the shot caught it that time i pay attention sometimes but now it's kalisto/titus or actually titus knocking kaliso down and then shouting at apollo also tozawa is watching because titus wants him on the brand kalisto gets a rollup holding titus' trunks, apollo's like welp guess you asked for that one boss does some light motivational slapping, end segment but here are miz and maryse, even more dapper than usual and pan over to big cass, collapsed under a bunch of girders and shit enzo comes running in like whoa what happened way to stay together, guys cass presents enzo with a tacky chain that he presumably took off his attacker, enzo hugs his bro as we cut to ads and we come back on enzo being like okay well this is clearly a frame job and btw we have a match so can cass wrestle or what the answer is no but now we're back in the ring, with carpet and champagne and balloons and maryse and a guy in a teddy bear suit with a sign says CONGRATULATIONS who is totally not dean ambrose no sir but seriously, miz must fucking love balloons this ring is at imminent risk of lifting off and here is the man himself and a dramatic slideshow of the actually-great match complete with the nicest ref ever but yes, miz and maryse both look fucking great tonight just saying surprising number of you deserve it chants miz is immediately like fuck off you chant that for everyone just reminding us he's still a heel and all but yes, i do deserve it and here's a speech about how i'm redeeming the ic belt a toast to me "Ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass...or, if you're in this arena, a styrofoam cup..." delivered perfectly miz thanks maryse for all this stuff, mentions the bear, she's like um i thought you ordered the bear then who's flying the plane so miz attacks the bear on principle and finales him welp, that bear's dead dramatically unmasks him, revealing...some dude he's like ...um, well at least you had a brush with celebrity, get out of here *whips him out of the ring* and now here comes a big present down the ramp miz is like well isn't this nice what could this be grabs a chair, beats the shit out of the present while maryse shouts at him to stop and it's a very dead grandfather clock and a very sad maryse tells mike he ruined the party, throws the mic at him, storms off and we are left with a very dejected miz, blaming dean for all his problems and having a paranoid breakdown at the crowd and the steadicam guy who's been following miz throughout takes his headset and hat off and hits miz with dirty deeds lovely slow realisation as the camera feed went up on the tron dean swigs some champagne, takes the bottle and leaves okay, that was really well done but now, we see enzo wandering dejectedly backstage looking for a partner and now we see the family who have good seats because of pizza including the wonderfully-named Enzo Shirtz but yes gallows and anderson are in the ring and here comes enzo all on his onesie does his intro, but it's not the same without a large man gesticulating behind him does his 4G well-connected joke again get new material, dude but he's found himself a new seven-foot man it's a biiiiiig shooooooooow although it would have been amazing if it was braun big show stands in the middle of the ring like what is this tiny rodent enzo tries to give him a pep talk with some semi-coherent jokes mixed in show has progressed from 'bemused' to 'angered' this is the most awkward thing, and i could not do it justice without rubbing a buttered weasel on the keyboard and...now show is doing a joisey-accented monologue with an extended ice age reference before spelling it out for them? what the fuck is in this drink well, the match has started, so i guess the talking can stop bell rings, anderson kicks enzo's soul out of his body standard swift hot tag to show, who...does all the normal show stuff chokeslam to anderson, into badaboomshakalaka except in the form of show military pressing enzo and then just rhowing him straight at anderson well, that was a thing that happened? lasted about 90 seconds anyway next up, women's title match but here are zo and show backstage run into cass, who's like hey funny how show disappears for weeks and then he's back when you need a partner casts suspicion about show being the culprit, enzo wants to give him a ride, but cass takes him away and now let's have a terrible blaxploitation segment full of film references yup but now mike? interviews alexa in the curtain room he asks if she regrets giving nia this shot, she's like i regret this show fuck off faceless dude and back to the arena, here's nia

cut to ads, and...now a weird bit where every version of this i can find appears to have overwritten the entire women's match with the elias segment from earlier the fuck, internet apparently it was pretty much what you might have thought - nia stomped all over alexa, dana and mickie pointed and laughed, and then alexa went and started a fight with those two for a dq win i would have liked to watch that, but guess that's not happening back to the actual show just in time for a graphic for the cruiserweight title match thank fuck i didn't miss that and apparently brock will be here next week i repeat, the champion will be on the show he supposedly leads novel idea so yes, here's everyone's favourite towel-sporting middle-aged-man-strangler and also seth, who didn't try to murder a doughy guy in a suit today bell rings, joe just gets down to punching seth's face in before even taking off his towel seth goes for a suicide dive, joe roundhouse kicks him as he comes out of the ropes, because he is way more flexible than he really should be this match is 10% seth doing cool cruiserweighty shit and 90% joe's hundred flavours of NOPE seth does a sling blade into a suicide dive, and it actually works this time and into a blockbuster because why stop at one signature and as i type that, there goes another suicide dive and then into a falcon arrow, as seth goes fuck you i can do strength spots seth goes up to the top rope, wyatt cut because fuck you lights go back up, seth looks around for a bray who is very much not here, joe blindsides him and coquina clutch until death and we fade on seth bleeding, joe strutting, WOMP WOMPing, and an entirely unnecessary reminder that brock'll be here next week do you have to ruin everything, wwe (don't answer that) smackdown will probably follow tomorrow, after i've gone and been an instrument of democracy but in the meantime, let me tell you about these ants -------------------- And if you enjoyed that, we hope you'll be back next week for our seminar on Following Pheromone Trails In An Increasingly Odoriferous World. right, now that that's done, it's probably time for some FRIDAY AFTERNOON SMACKDOWN! (i apologise in advance for any political jokes that slip through) (it's been a tough few days) and we open on a dramatic retelling of the women's five-way last week so yeah, women's mitb is probably going to be the big story this week i've had some of this show spoiled, but i honestly can't remember what, so that's sorted itself out and we're back in the present, and here come the shaney and also the five contenders are in the ring already and one of them's brought their creeper charlotte is looking ridiculously overdressed in her black sequin robe seven words in, shane gets a cheap pop in shane starts introducing them all, calls tamina "a two-time superstar" the fuck does that even mean the crowd love charlotte, but they love becky more apparently we're having a six-woman tag match later because why not have the entire division in the ring *again* drumroll as shane reveals the case it's basically the same, except silver and with some extra detailing on the logo no pink, thank fuck shane has a monologue about how dangerous the mitb match is, like he totally does with the men claims whoever has won this in the past has become champion somewhere, damien sandow is crying ellsworth calls shane out for mansplaining the mitb match, carmella gets a monologue until charlotte shouts her down leans on the genetic superiority thing, offers the other four a chance at brushing against greatness somehow a face? nattie calls her out for ripping off her father, proceeds to do the same to her uncle becky calls her on this, promises to rip off everybody's arms should be worth watching tamina gets to say words, which is novel but here comes naomi gets to do her whole entrance, because fuck this argument i'm the champ hypes the match like dang i wish i was allowed to be in this INTERRUPTING TRASH SAX lana is actually here in person (why do i like this music what is wrong with me) struts down the ramp, everyone in the ring just standing there like um fuck the what shane's like um hi? btw i was trying to do a thing, why are you in my ring shit, she's still russian and weirdly propositioning shane while also asking for a spot in the mitb match naomi just bursts out laughing like do you even go here why do you get to be in this match when you've had like none ever lana claims she can beat naomi, i smell a match for later shane's like seriously this is not how this show works lana has a tantrum in russian, flounces off up the ramp a+ flounce the crowd are loving her shane's like RIGHT back to the actual show that i run let's have this tag match Pun Murderer, FluoroTwerk and Queen Bitch vs Wrestling Mom, Thug Girl (and Douchey), and Obligatory Samoan lots of spots happened while i was working that out, but the gist is it's pretty even so far currently becky is alligator rolling carmella around the ring with her legs there's my thing i haven't seen before for the week apparently carmella taking the briefcase would be "like moving from HD televisions back to nanotubes" i'm going to go out on a limb and say jbl doesn't understand how science works interference by nattie and ellsworth lets tamina hot tag in and grind becky to pulp nattie tags in so she can walk over becky and taunt her teammates she'd be a much more effective wrestler with more wrestling naomi and carmella both hot tag in, the champ commences to cleaning house including three short-arm leg lariats to tamina because hey, if you can manage those, why not throw a bunch in nattie and tamina both come in to interfere, and here's lana to loom on the ramp and knock naomi off the apron, letting tamina superkick her for the pin stands at ringside looking smug like yes i did do that the fuck you gonna do and we go backstage, where shane runs into the andre the giant trophy mid-phone call like the fuck is this horrible public art and here's mojo to address the fact that he won that match and then nothing else fucking ever and be like should i maybe have been in the mitb match being the only person that's beaten jinder on smackdown and all shane offhandedly mentions luke harper, the crowd go wild shane's giving mojo a match against jinder to qualify for the ladder match because as ever, shane books this shit about twenty seconds in advance later we have owens/nakamura but next, styles/ziggler again and weirdly, by 'next', we don't mean 'after someone from the last segment has an encounter backstage' for once here is aj now they still don't want none although by the sound of the crowd, rochester, NY don't not want none dolph enters, recap video of dolph going over aj last week which i had totally forgotten looking more closely at the men's briefcase, the logo detailing's the same so yeah, it's just the colour that's different bell rings, we start going old-school mat wrestling turns out dolph has amateur technical skills that aren't just assaults to the crotch and also, he can dropkick you in the face dolph goes for the most blatant dirty pin, gets caught just before 3 and then a famouser actually connects for a nearfall i tend to rag on them repeating matches, but hey, this is a good match slow superplex setup actually resolves in an interesting way dolph counters a phenomenal forearm into another dirty pin attempt, aj reverses into a styles clash with like no setup, gets the pin because we're actually respecting finishers for the moment and from that to more fashion files noir tyler has a gritty monologue about the connections between prison and the catwalk and narrates himself looking at their clue board fandango returns from taking the cologne to the boys in the lab, only to find out that there's no boys and no lab, so he just tasted it himself as you do

and then this leads into the two of them repeatedly saying a mixture of 'cologne', 'colón' and 'clone' at each other with an increasing sense of incredulity this is like a fucking two ronnies sketch and i love it tyler finally gets it or not nor does fandango, which obviously means they must be close tyler offers a hopeful "Colóse?" and we cut to the new day and their ice cream cart what is life but still with the noir saxophone soundtrack they've come to the fashion police office and are bemused by how they turn black and white as they enter the new day have a case for them, the police say they'll take it, except the new day can't hear them because they're still speaking in their shared noir internal monologue and i am falling apart here big e is uncomfortable with how they're just staring at him but he's got them both rompers carried in his singlet, obviously fandango is not impressed "Listen, Big E, if that's even your real initial..." line of the night right there fandango is offended because they don't take bribes pan over to tyler, who is already wearing his like hey they're fashionable screw you the new day want intel on the usos for mitb breezango hand them five file boxes pull out a hoodie, ask the new day what they know about day one and why it is h xavier is trying so hard not to corpse the fashion police take the case, sax sting, they freeze frame until the new day are like ummmmmmm we'll just go while their noir monologue starts a 'new case rocks' chant that was amazing and you have no idea how many times i had to pause it to type but back in normality...oh wait, it's mojo i still can't hear his music without my brain adding zack's parts and here's a video to tell us that cena's coming back on july 4th, because of course he fucking is i thought jinder's music was different to usual but it's the singhs doing ring announce for jinder in english and punjabi and there's the music i was expecting i really like the ramp graphics they do for his entrance and he remains jacked as fuck somewhere in america, heath slater is watching smackdown and nxt and developing an inferiority complex it's just occurred to me that jinder's and aj's entrances have basically the same beat and structure somebody make me that mashup maybe this entrance is just they don't want none in punjabi that would be amazing i love how they've given jinder a properly long entrance with some gravitas and just generally how seriously they're taking him as a champion mojo is getting the upper hand with the power of HYPE (always upper case) every time jinder rolls out of the ring, the singhs are like omg boss are you ok can i get you a drink and they just have long arguments in punjabi and don't even try and let the average american in on it a singh distracts mojo and lets jinder just jump on his head a bunch doesn't take, because that's never where mojo keeps his brain flurry of offence later, jinder gets an eye rake in and khalass for the pin decent match by two underrated performers jinder's veins seem to have calmed down a bit too, which is reassuring jinder has a mic, the population of rochester is not pleased oh, fuck off your usa chants promises to kill randy and crush his dreams at mitb, leans on the hometown angle again proclaims himself the antidote to randy orton, and by extension america and then does a promo in punjabi, pissing off americans because america another hype bit for owens/nakamura and a video about how cool shinsuke is and somebody painting a protrait of him this video is basically all showmanship, but that's totally appropriate he's great in the ring, but that's not why people love him but next, the new day actually fight and they keep saying it's owens/nakamura 'for the first time ever' i have gifs that disagree but now, randy is backstage renee comes in to ask what he thinks about jinder's promo apparently he's been getting calls from ric flair, harley race and his dad, telling him to let jinder talk and then fuck him up so that's what he's going to do sure, that's compelling interview work but actually now, it's the new day v the colóns they're still throwing boxes of cereal into the crowd and pouring them on fans, because fuck your health and safety it's xavier/e, because this isn't a serious match so naturally, jbl goes off on a tangent about operation overlord this is 90% the colóns taking all the new day spots you know and love xavier and e do the ab stretch/spank thing at the same time, xavier somehow gets francesca ii turbo despite having a match to wrestle in a side note, primo's gone and shaved, so now i have no clue which colón is which xavier does a huge missile dropkick on epico, double hot tag and big e proceeds to annihilate primo xavier does a casual tope con giro, primo tries for a pin from the distraction, fails because fuck you we're the new day, blind tag into midnight hour for the pin their post-match celebration is interrupted by the usos' aggressive music they're here to talk trash at the new day and do their prison thing, astonishingly and they have shitty misogynistic jokes about the new day and jimmy's paranoia monologue i do like that they're doing all this mic work, but can we maybe not be offensive to marginalised groups shot of kevin taping his wrists backstage, but here's dasha in the curtain room with sami asking how he's preparing for mitb he's been watching lots of matches, basically and he has no idea how to get a handle on shinsuke slippery bastard sami tries to do some of shinsuke's moves, it doesn't go well so he's going to be on announce for owens/nakamura for research purposes baron looms into the room, coldcocks sami then hits him with a ladder like stop thinking about shinsuke don't you love me and then pushes him into a convenient pile of ladders and says he's taking the announce spot cut to shane on the phone like i am literally watching the show what the shit was that why do i keep that enormous douchebag around man spends a lot of time in expository phone calls (says the woman narrating the entire show on the internet) but here's naomi to ask for a match with lana at mitb shane's like seriously you have no clue how busy i am right now naomi lobbies harder, puts the title on the line after saying lana doesn't deserve a title shot because she hasn't earned it? does the bald-snatching line, end segment and now main event time here's kevin good sweeping shot of the ring apron and floor, wrong steadicam guy #smackdownediting ad for talking smack, with aj, mojo, and lana and tjp telling us to watch 205 becuse he's awesome [citation needed] claims you can't stab someone in the back if they're standing in front of you tjp has clearly never heard of the concept of elbows baron's on announce great the two facts they put on shinsuke's sidebar are literally 'from kyoto' and 'former nxt superstar' fascinating but what do i care, i'm busy watching him in his studded tabard that everybody will be wearing in the future bell rings, shinsuke does his oh did you want a tieup i'm just going to kick you in the knees baron talks about his storied history of fucking sami up nobody cares, you balding twat kevin has briefly tried to take shinsuke on at the kicking game, failed, and returned to mastering headlocks shinsuke's kicked off a comeback with a lovely single leg dropkick nearfall off his knees to the corner baron acknowledges that shinsuke is dangerous, my no shit alarm is destroying my eardrums (daniel, can you please take the batteries out of that) baron's still trying to talk smack about kevin, but his particular brand of smack is just shite meanwhile, reverse exploder to kinshasa for the win a lightly underwhelming main event, tbh, but shinsuke's clearly been holding back on the in-ring stuff since moving up which makes perfect sense shinsuke does his poses, corbin runs in to end of days him so hard his stupid hat comes off crowd are not best pleased i'm mostly just concerned as to why he's dressed like the second-rate pot dealer at every college (baron, that is) (i would love it if people at my college dressed like shinsuke) and we fade on baron awkwardly posing at the top of the ramp and having no idea what do with his arms halfhearted shimmy as the show ends and now i'm off to watch talking smack and make shitty political jokes you can't stop me you're not my real dad (one of you reading this is my real dad and can stop me) (also possibly daniel's uncle, if he actually reads this) (memo to self: stop antagonising authority figures for literally no reason)

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What would you say to people who believe Blaine manipulated Kurt into getting engaged? In the season 6 breakup's deleted script, Kurt said that Blaine did that and that he felt forced to say yes. Of course, it's a deleted scene, and there's no true canonical evidence that Kurt feels that way, but I've always been torn on the subject. Kurt's face throughout the proposal was also a little confusing, he looks very overwhelmed, though I can't tell if it's in a good or bad way.

What would you say to people who believe Blaine manipulated Kurt into getting engaged?

Nonny, I think you’ve been reading too much Kurt meta done by people who don’t like Blaine.  ;)

God, this is a total flashback to 2014 when the Better Boyfriend Olympics were alive and well, lol.  Oh, Nonny <3 

Alright, let’s pull up a chair and have a discussion.  

In the season 6 breakup's deleted script, Kurt said that Blaine did that and that he felt forced to say yes. Of course, it's a deleted scene, and there's no true canonical evidence that Kurt feels that way, but I've always been torn on the subject.

Okay, first, let’s talk about this thought.  I’ve bolded the part in this comment that matters -- you’ve hit the nail on the head, Nonny.  

Talking as a writer, I need to say something about scripts, deleted scenes, and other things not done in canon -- a lot of times, in drafts, people write things that may not work or fit -- that’s why they’re drafts.  There’s a reason the scripted break up wasn’t the episode -- because it wasn’t the best way to tell the story they wanted to tell. 

In addition, a lot of that speech in the script reeks of the writers listening to what Blaine-hating Kurt fans had to say about the whole thing.  Glee had a tendency to over do it when breaking the fourth way to address commentary and criticism.  They did this with Brittana fans when Brittany and Sam get together, basically telling the lesbian bloggers to shut up and deal with it.  Doing so in the episode went too far (imo) -- and leaving Kurt’s comments in would have felt out of character and too much meta-ish commentary.  

That said -- totally wasn’t in the episode, and as you’ve said, there’s not true canonical evidence that Kurt feels that way. 

***

Addressing a few more things -- 

1. Blaine being manipulative.  

He’s not.  He does like to be in control of things, but that’s not the same thing as manipulation (and there’s a firm argument about how Kurt has far more manipulative tendencies -- see season 1).  Putting this particular incident more in context... first of all, keep in mind that from the break up to hooking up in I Do is only six months, most of which, Kurt and Blaine I wouldn’t call fully, 100% broken up -- more so just broken.  Then, he’s part of a school shooting, and while it wasn’t a real school shooting, it still has an effect -- he wants to feel security from the love he and Kurt share.  

As for the proposal itself -- Blaine knows exactly how Kurt wants his proposal to be -- and is going a bit overboard on the romanticism.  It’s not motivated by manipulation though.  It’s motivated by the fact that he wants to prove to Kurt that he can meet all of Kurt’s fantasies and demands.  (Which he does btw.)  Blaine does not have a secret agenda -- his heart is most firmly on his sleeve a majority of the time.  

2. The idea that Kurt doesn’t want to be proposed to, married, etc, etc.  

This is a little more complex of an issue to get into in a single ask, but let’s see if I can boil this down to its essence: 

Kurt has stated multiple times to Finn and Rachel that he doesn’t believe in young marriages -- this belief is already embedded in his psyche before he and Blaine get engaged, and part of that stubborn belief (whether it be right or wrong) seeps into his later issues in his own relationship. 

Kurt got very, very hurt by Blaine cheating on him -- and by the time they got back together, Kurt was dipping his toe in the pool while Blaine had already gone into the deep end.  Kurt needed some time to work his way back out to the deep end of the pool, and Blaine pulling Kurt out to the deep end before he was ready didn’t mean that he didn’t want to go swimming there, just that he was going faster than he had expected, and wasn’t given enough time to adjust. 

A lot of time in media, the proposal/marriage is the end of the story.  Here - it’s the middle of the story, and plays a different role in said story.  Kurt has doubts - but not doubts about loving Blaine, or wanting to be with Blaine the rest of his life.  As said in point 2, he got very hurt, and he isn’t ready yet - that combined with his belief that people shouldn’t get married so young (along with a few other issues) is what leads to the second break up.  

That doesn’t mean that Kurt doesn’t love his proposal.  Kurt is very romantic minded -- and the proposal was everything he could have ever dreamed of.  He’s emotionally overwhelmed during the scene, because it’s more than he could have ever dreamed of.  And I’d like to reiterate that this isn’t out of nowhere -- not only have the idea that Kurt and Blaine previously talked about marriage and long term plans for their relationship, but it’s also been set up that Kurt loves surprise proposals, weddings, romantic gestures (see All or Nothing, the episode previous, for high examples.) 

The thing that always gets me about the manipulation argument though... Do people really think that Kurt would ever, ever be manipulated into something he didn’t want to do?  Kurt’s a very strong-minded character, and is not so easily swayed into (or out of) something.  If Kurt didn’t want to get married... if he didn’t want to be proposed to... if he didn’t want the thing, he wouldn’t have let it happen.  

3. The idea that relationships need to be perfect

The whole thing about the Better Boyfriend Olympics was the fact that each side of it felt the other wasn’t good enough for their favorite.  And it stems from this weird idea that in order to be good enough to be a romantic partner for said favorite -- the romantic partner must bow down at the alter of favorite and not ever do anything wrong.  The relationship, to maybe over simplify, must be perfect.  When it wasn’t -- people liked to point fingers and blame the other side.  And come up with anything they could to help prove their point that their favorite was the better one and/or deserved better. 

Man, it was the most annoying thing. 

The thing that I always liked, and appreciated about Klaine was the idea that we have two very flawed characters working through their issues.  Sometimes they sucked at it. Sometimes one of them wasn’t the greatest.  But that made them feel more fleshed out and well rounded as characters.  Relationships can be problematic, that doesn’t mean they’re wholly bad.  They have issues.  People aren’t perfect, and shouldn’t be held to such ridiculous standards.  

Look, Nonny, if you don’t feel the scene, you don’t feel it, and I don’t think anything I say or do can change your mind if it doesn’t. And that’s totally fair and fine.  But -- all I can say is keep in mind where your biases may lie and/or what kind of filters are overlaying your interpretation of the scene.  

If you’d like more reading on Love Love Love, I’d suggest my meta: Finding Kurt Hummel - Love, Love, Love

If you like podcasts, I know we go deeper into the subject on various TDB Podcasts: TDB Podcast List 

Tl;dr version - Blaine is not manipulative, the script should not be taken as canonical evidence of anything, and Kurt was emotionally overwhelmed and deeply touched by a very grand romantic gesture that was presented to him.  

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Finding Kurt Hummel: A Wedding

Masterpost

6x08: A Wedding

It’s kind of fitting that I’m writing this on the weekend that Darren and his lovely long time girlfriend/fiancee Mia are getting married.  It’s also Love, Love, Love week in the TDB rewatch, and I mean Valentine’s Day weekend (but eh I’ve never cared about that.)  

Anyway! ..  Alright guys - we’re here! The culmination of the entire Klaine arc -- right here and...  Alright, let’s be honest, this episode is, well, lacking.  Personally, I think they could have added another hour to the episode - fleshed out the reunion just a tad more, given Blaine’s mom an actual story, and maybe not tie Klaine and Brittana in a nice bow together (personally - Klaine eloping would have been an interesting route).  

But this is Glee.  And it was more interested in being propaganda for gay marriage.  And hey!! I’m totally here for all the gay marriage, and LGTB rights -- yes let’s do that!! But here... they sacrificed organic story for their message, which is mostly why I think this episode is disappointing.  It kind of forgot about the heart of the characters

High-End Barn Wedding

So - we kick off the episode with Wedding Planner!Kurt... so for all of you who wished Kurt had planned his own wedding, well -- he mostly did.  Actually, Artie is supposed to be the one who’s the wedding planner - but what has he really done?  Really? It seems fitting that Kurt would take over the job. 

While I don’t hate this episode (or even feel as disappointed by it) the way some of you do -- there are a few things I am sad we didn’t get with Klaine’s impromptu wedding shenanigans.  I would have loved to have seen some kind of bachelor party shenanigans -- complete with a return of Cooper to crash either Blaine’s or Kurt’s weddings.  I mean - how much fun would that have been?? Not to say that later, Cooper didn’t show up and throw some bachelor parties anyway after they got married. ;) 

So, here’s my first issue with the episode.  Kurt has a whole scene where he tries to calm down Brittany cause she’s freaking out and projecting her anxiety about getting married onto the little details of the barn set up.  (Huh - totally wish we could have seen pre-wedding neurotic Kurt, too.)  Kurt’s calm and collected and gets things going.  

Okay, what frustrates me is that in the script - IN THE SCRIPT - there’s a moment where Brittany lingers on more about Kurt and his called-off wedding, and Kurt gets a little dreamy about the wedding planning, etc, etc -- and honestly, this one section would have fixed, like, 90% of my issues.  See -- narratively speaking - Kurt needs a reason, a catalyst to run off and go see Blaine.  He doesn’t have one in the episode, which makes the whole reunion feel out of nowhere and jarring.  -- Likewise, in Love, Love, Love - the reunion was slightly out of nowhere, but at they at least alluded to it in a few lines and slightly set it up at the end of season 4.  

But this time around, episode 7, being totally Blaine focused doesn’t have room to give Kurt his ‘ah-ha!’ moment.  Which means there’s a link that’s not there.  It was in the script... and then they cut it out.  Why?? I don’t understand.  

So, if they didn’t want to go that dreamy over a wedding thing - they could have also give Brittany the chance to tell Kurt about Blaine and Karofsky splitting up -- which would also be a catalyst and cause Kurt to start running.  Mostly, though, this episode just isn’t well written.  **shrugs** 

Anyway - we get some awkward jokes from Brittany about Kurt’s ‘boyfriend’ being older than his dad.  Which is - ew.  But also I really don’t think Kurt is considering Walter his boyfriend, especially since Kurt just kinda doesn’t even acknowledge the comment.  Meanwhile, to prove this episode is just awkwardly written - there’s a joke in here where Brittany doesn’t know that Burt Hummel is Kurt’s dad.  But the set up is that Kurt calls his dad by his first name -- which he’s never done... ever.  Who would say their parents’ name instead of saying -- hey my dad could help?  

The details of this episode are... just not good, which is truly the unfortunate thing.  

Run, Kurt, Run

So -- without any kind of set-up this scene feels... well... a little awkward, so let’s pretend Kurt has reason to feel that he and Blaine are actually going to the wedding together (there’s nothing missing from the script that sets it up either, btw.)  

Basically - he’s doing the mature thing of telling Walter first that it’s over -- not that there was much to end, honestly.  Obviously, he’s been talking to Walter about the Brittana wedding - enough so that Walter thinks they’re getting tuxes or something, (he’s really kind of assuming here) but Kurt says straight up - no, he’s going with Blaine.  And the subtext here is --- hey it’s been fun, but I’m totally getting back together with my ex -- as if I haven’t talked about him enough, he totally kissed me, like, a week ago, and I came back here to get him, and I think we’re ready to be ‘on’ again, so you’re a nice dude, Walter - but I’m going in the direction I’m supposed to be.  

Walter doesn’t seem shocked or surprised or even hurt that this is all going down.  We get a lovely speech about young love and how Kurt should feel lucky that he gets to be in his youth to experience young (gay) love.  And, I mean.... it’s a nice speech and all, but it feels more like older gay talking to younger gay about how he wishes he could have been wiser in his youth to run towards love.  And an other example where the episode leans in to the idea of ‘gay marriage good’ rather than showing us how it can be good by organically letting these couples have their moments.  Oh show... 

The part I do like about Walter’s speech, however, is the advice he gives Kurt (which is actually similar to Brittany’s only taken in a different direction).  He tells Kurt to go live, get hurt, get back up again, hang on to love, and, well, god I’m going to say it, don’t stop believing.  And it almost feels like this is something that Kurt’s been waiting to hear for a while -- this kid has placed a protective shield around his heart for a long, long, long time now and he’s ready to be fully open with it again.  He’s ready to let Blaine in fully -- and this is the reason I’m fine with the wedding being so soon after the reunion (even if the narrative is super awkward).  

This whole journey from mid-season three to now has been about growing up, and figuring out how to be adults in love, and understanding that being in an adult relationship is different than the fairy tale their relationship started out being.  And I love that concept -- love it! Even if I think how they told it is bumpy, awkward, and lacking a few key moments.  

So -- in a mirror to the scene where Blaine and Karofsky split up (yeah - this “break up” is definitely the same kind of sentiment) Kurt starts running to go find Blaine... 

Alright - so while this little reunion scene is rushed, I do like the urgency of it.  From the moment Kurt runs in the door - he’s all, I love you, I’ve always loved you, I want and need you -- right now.  He’s anxious - because he’s completely being emotionally honest right now -- and that’s not something Kurt really ever does.  Blaine’s a little shocked at this development - but he’s been ready, too, so hey let’s just confirm we’re back together and call it good.  (And yes, they probably had sex right then and there with the door open - because TV logic, but also because they just need to be with each other right now, and the talky stuff can wait until after the physical release.) 

So.  This idea that they get back together without solving their issues... here’s what I want to say about that.  First of all -- Kurt has his one line of -- ‘I know everything was a mess before but now it’s not’.  And, yeah, that does kind of wallpaper over things nicely - but I’ll argue that it’s also true.  They had to work a lot on themselves this time around and they did that (mostly between season 5 and 6, actually).  Kurt -- who sometimes runs away from the emotionally difficult situations (he broke it off with Blaine because he feared emotionally difficult would lead to something that can’t be fixed) has now run back into Blaine’s arms, knowing well that his heart will get bruised in what will be their long relationship -- but like the advice he gave to Blaine last season, it’s about trust, and he trusts himself that it’ll be okay.  

Look - they’re always going to have issues, because every couple does.  They’re always going to have things to work on and work through -- because that’s real.  They aren’t two kids in a fairy tale relationship anymore, they’re two adults understanding what being in an adult relationship really means.  And yeah, Glee could have fleshed this moment out, could have Kurt and/or Blaine explicitly say that - but you know? They really didn’t need to.  

They fixed themselves in the early episodes of this season, the elevator gave them their friendship back, along with the ability to be with each other in an enclosed space, and Transitioning demonstrated that the spark is (as it always was) still there.  So all they had to do was ditch the plot devices boyfriends and commit to each other.  

And I do love this little moment, as Blaine just is like ‘fuck it’ and goes in for the kiss.  While Kurt relaxes into his arms, finally able to reach the goal he set out for himself in the beginning of the season.  My only “issue” with this scene is that they could have let it breath a little longer -- let the kiss be a little longer as they begin to enjoy each other again.  But because this is Glee, and five million things going on, it’s cut away from very quickly.  

American Gothic

So - according to, um, something this cute little moment was just Chris and Darren screwing around.  I’m not gonna meta Klaine and American Gothic (the name of the famous painting in case you didn’t know.)  

Instead - I’ll take a moment to talk about Blaine’s mom.  Again, in the script, more stuff about her -- the reason she’s there was to do Brittana’s make-up (and, you know, be apart of the the mom’s group number).  It’s hinted that Blaine’s dad left her and Cooper says hi.  Geez.  I also think it’s super weird that she hasn’t met Carol -- but did the writers give a shit? Nope, I just feel bad for Gina Gershon who is a lovely actress and they could have done so much with her, but instead do virtually nothing.  I mean she and Blaine don’t even get a scene together.  Ah well.  

This scene is also, well, awkwardly written.  Does Burt not know that they’re back together? (I find that hard to believe.)  The prep work for this scene just don’t make much sense.  Okay -- who was this written by? Hmm staff writer Ross Maxwell who’s been there since season three.  He wrote Dance With Somebody, but also Previously Unaired Christmas and Sweet Dreams.  This was directed by Bradley Beucker who did a lot of the big Klaine episodes, so I can’t even place fault there.  Idk - this episode’s details are just so jarringly off, and there’s enough of them that it does take me out of the story a little bit. 

Alright, so beyond my complaining about awkward set ups.  Kurt gets told for the second time in fifteen minutes that he’s got to squeeze life to the fullest.  You can’t predict what’s gonna happen next -- death, hardship, etc, etc, so live your best life, whatever that might be.  Burt (hilariously) blames his philosophizing on there being a wedding, but Glee’s season 6 meta kick is still firmly here.  

The thing I love about Kurt here though as he listens to his dad (and Carole) ramble on... he’s so happy and relaxed and reflective.  Being together with Blaine again has just put his life back on track again.  He is where he’s supposed to be and for the first time since the season started - he’s smiling and wistful and I love this kind of zen Kurt.  But he’s also paying attention to his dad, too.  This is all obvious set up for Kurt’s decision to get married on the spot, but it’s a nice sentiment, too -- that yeah, take a leap of faith - because you never know how long you’ll have the chance to do so. 

Legit Brittan-emergency

I like the first few seconds of this scene - where they’re just casually chatting about the wedding while holding hands.  They’ve been (nicely) not separated since they got back together, and I like this underlying theme that they want to have close physical contact as much as possible cause they missed quite a lot of that over the summer.  

Anyway - Sue storms in and ruins the moment - and they aren’t playing dumb again! They won’t be getting locked in an elevator in a barn in Indiana so Sue can force them to have sex.  Nope - that’s for the fic writers ;) 

She’s got something else in mind... 

Hey... at least she used the their season 6 (?) promo pics and not the creepy version she had in her hurt locker.  It’s hard to say when Brittany got involved.  I’d say the moment Sue walked in with the tuxes and the stand-ups.  But Brittany claims she had this figured out while planning the wedding - which explains her kinda weird passive-aggressive attitude towards Kurt in the first scene, but since half of it was on the cutting room floor, it’s hard to buy here.  But, you know, Santana’s gonna be okay with it and Brittany stops time with her mind, so you can figure the timeline out yourselfs on that one.  

So, let’s break this down a little, shall we?  After Brittany gets through her rambling about Klaine being role models (sure...) Sue jumps in and continues to break the fourth wall.  Yeah -- she manipulated and kidnapped them, but she is... not us in this instant, but the writers.  Because that’s what writers do -- we torture our characters so that they can have the happy ending we want to give them.  

However, the Doylist view is not a favorite among many, so I’ll say - I’m not excusing Sue for her behavior.  Don’t manipulate and kidnap people... it’s not nice and can be pretty hurtful.  So - no, I’m not condoning Sue’s actions -- just explaining how Sue’s outside the narrative completely at this point.  

I know a lot of people didn’t like this whole idea of Kurt (and Blaine) being what feels like forced to get married.  And I will say this -- no one was forced to get married.  No one was coerced.  And had the script done its job correctly (I mean it tried - within the Walter and Burt speeches respectively) Kurt (and Blaine) being thrown an impromptu wedding would have felt much more organic.  But this is Glee... in a world where real life rules don’t always apply.   

I will say... had Kurt not wanted to - he would have flat out said no.  No one has ever pushed Kurt Hummel around, least of all Sue and Brittany.  In no way, shape, or form did anyone force Kurt to get married.  And I really would like to make that clear -- there’s always a choice.  

So - here’s the thing... Kurt’s mind is spinning.  Things like this, this is crazy.  His entire life, he’s tried to plan out to be perfect, and it’s always kind of blown up in his face.  At the same time, life has always made him struggle, and now he gets the chance to have something nice -- and that’s... unexpected in the least.  

Let’s hear his arguments...  

This is crazy -- because it is.  Who shares their wedding with someone else just for the hell of it? No one - because that is ridiculous. 

He and Blaine just got back together -- but Kurt isn’t that concerned about this part of it, because he does know he and Blaine are forever.  He’s beginning to get giddy with the idea here, but no - logic still prevails. It’s not that he and Blaine just got back together that’s the issue... it’s that Santana wouldn’t let them. But, eh, no, Santana’s gonna let things go cause plot.  

He then says the following... It’s romantic.  Sweet.  And a little weird.  Not -- I hate this idea.  Not, it’s not going to work.  Not, I don’t like these kind of surprises and I feel threatened.  No, he’s smiling and excited and his mind is reeling at the prospect.  He’s trying to be (semi-)logical about this, but his big, romantic heart is winning out.  

Kurt says there’s no possible way they can get married, and looks to Blaine for confirmation... 

Meanwhile, Blaine’s in the background.  He’s a little timid, because he’s the one who never stopped wanting to be married.  His only line is (lamely) about the rings, which Sue has covered.  Honestly, I would have asked about the marriage license, but I’m sure Sue has one of those already forged as well.  

But the thing is - when it comes down to it, Blaine’s ready -- he’s always been ready, and he’s just waiting for Kurt to finally, finally say yes.  We get them holding hands, as Blaine stutters his way through an awkward speech.  And then we cut to commercial....

Ug.  

No really, why did this have to be an act break cliffhanger? Again, this writing! You could have had Blaine give a nice speech about being ready, and just waiting for Kurt and being okay with whatever they choose to do... and then Kurt could say that he does, indeed want to be married to Blaine.  It’d have been a nice romantic moment here that... well, is no left to fanfic writers, I suppose.  I also think it might have helped give Kurt some agency some felt he was lacking in this scene.  

In addition, there is a nice wrap around moment - Kurt says in the series premiere during the break up scene - maybe he doesn’t want to get married.  Now he’s faced with that choice again, and it comes full circle.  Well... maybe in fact, he does... 

I will say... the end of the scene, Kurt’s not scared Blaine will say he wants to get married and he’ll be forced into it.  He wants to see if Blaine really does, because if he does -- Kurt’s given his choice.  He’s scared, but also thrilled, because he could be given a pass to indulge on this huge romantic moment. 

At Last 

The moment Kurt comes on screen, we know his choice has been made, and look how he has this happy-drunk look on his face.  As soon as Blaine said (off screen) that he wants to be married, Kurt probably snapped to and bam! let the romance happy-times begin.  He knows -- based on all his previous experiences - that marriage won’t be an easy thing.  He does.  But now is their time to have a wonderful and lovely start to their marriage (and free!!) why not take this leap? 

Anyway, I kind of love that he gets to walk with Brittany.  They’ve got an interesting history together - and are both special unicorns, and I love that they get this little aisle walking moment together.  

Meanwhile - let’s talk about the song At Last, beautifully sung by Mercedes and Artie.  Klaine’s season 6 story, again being told not in songs that they’ve sung.  This song is very them - and was originally going to be used during their car makeout session back in I Do, but I’m glad they saved it for here.  It does fit Klaine, Brittana, and the whole gay marriage thing nicely.  

Look at this bb waiting for his future husband to walk up the aisle.  Again, I love how happy Kurt is! How relaxed! He even looks younger in this scene, because, c’mon, when’s the last time he’s been /this/ happy??  (Totally, btw, not the face of someone who doesn’t really want to be up there ;)) Kurt Hummel is getting married - and he is fucking excited about every last ounce of it.  

Burt’s Speech = Gay Marriage Good and worth fighting for!!  (I’m so glad they legalized it the summer after this was out) 

I do like that in Burt’s speech, however, he does mention, again, some sentiments he did back in Love, Love, Love -- marriage is freakin’ hard.  But it’s worth it if you keep working at it.  

Oh - which probably brings me to another issue people had.  All season Kurt keeps reiterating that they’re too young to get married.  (And yeah, ngl, they are - and I really didn’t need this in my Klaine story)  But two thoughts on this  

1 - Kurt was holding on to the too young thing as an excuse for the other issues they were having... yeah, he didn’t want Finchel to get married because they were too young, but also definitely not ready.  Kurt’s been through a ton, and at this moment, knows he and Blaine are committed to each other, so why not make it official -- especially since they are gay, and now can get married, it is a big deal.  

2. I’ve talked a lot about Klaine being a fairy tale - and, while I don’t believe the story stops once you get married, and also believe Klaine was spiritually married back in Love, Love, Love, their story remains being framed as a fairy tale, and this is the happy ending, so narratively, it does all make sense. 

The vows.  Yeah, um, okay.  So - my biggest issue here is that they’re all spliced together.  This speech, kind of, doesn’t work - I mean, Santana says she’s been bullied? Really? They’re trying to tie both narratives together and tie that in with the theme of ‘gay marriage good’ and ug, c’mon.  They could have nicely had one couple go and then the other, and it could have been a little more personalized.  But whatever.  

I will say! I think Kurt has the best lines, though.  I love, love that he talks about being someone who always walked in the dark, and that Blaine did not force him into the light, but tore the stuff down that covered the sun.  It’s really a beautiful notion - and one that says just how much Kurt loves, appreciates, and wants Blaine in his life.  He’s always walked on his path on his own, but he doesn’t want to be alone anymore - Blaine is vital to him, and he always wants Blaine there to help him through.  

I also like the sentiment that they’re a work in progress.  It’s a nice nod to the fact that it isn’t the end of the story (while it is mostly for Klaine and absolutely for Brittana).  

(Also - possibly shallow side note - Chris and Darren are just way better actors than Naya and especially Heather, and putting them side by side is a little jarring, too.  Oops.) 

Because touch and holding hands has always been a part of their narrative... 

Old Marrieds... 

Happy Big-Ass Double Gay Wedding! 

Was it everything you ever wanted? Meh, no, but I’ve never been a fan of weddings in general - and nothing was gonna be able to top the proposal anyway.  This is where the whole double wedding with a theme of social progression got in the way - because I think it stripped both couples (a little) of their own personalized story.  But it was fine, and did what it needed to do.  And Klaine got their happily ever after. 

OTP

Yes, Kurt’s face is how I feel about (most of) the rest of the episode.  We could have gotten a nice moment between Blaine and his mom - instead we get a full minute of Brittany’s dad being awkward and weird and unnecessary.  

So, then Santana goes into this whole speech about OTPs.  Omg... I know some people got uncomfortable with the fourth wall breaking in The Hurt Locker (both parts) but here I get a little squicky.  Who uses otp in real life? And Santana has hats, god... 

But, that aside, Kurt’s face is loving and happy when Santana mentions that he and Blaine have found each other - and it’s sweet and nice.  And... omg, you can tell they’re back together again because to the background my lovely couple -- we’re playing by season 3 rules again! 

No, okay my biggest issue -- bigger than the whole they don’t really get a first dance thing - is that they don’t get a moment to reflect -- at all -- about getting married.  And this is kind of a trend -- they get together in Original Song, do they really get to reflect on that? Eh.. not really.  What about their first time in The First Time?? Nope - they don’t speak about sex again for a long, long time.  What about getting engaged??? Eh, not really anything on that -- so I shouldn’t expect anything.  But man - it would have been nice if they had one private moment together just so they can have that one private moment together to revel in the fact that they are married and together-together.  

(so, now we’re to two scenes this episode is missing for Klaine - shoulda been a two hour long episode...) 

Instead of anything meaningful, we’re going to have songs now because we’re contractually obligated at this point to do something in this music-related show.  (god, does this episode shoehorn in the music).  I am kinda laughing at HeYa, though, cause it’s so, so meta.  I’m also incredibly glad there was never a song Called CrissColfer.  

Why didn’t Kurt, Blaine or Santana get to dance during this song though? Boo...At least they’re in the background...?  Oh wait, they do at the end? And Blaine kinda dances with his mom, while Kurt dances with Carol? I mean, it’s kinda cute, but I’m still rolling my eyes a little. 

And then we get more songs! This time the Treble Tones bring up the Moms for - I’m So Excited. I mean, I get it - if you’re gonna have Gloria Estefan on and not have her sing, it’s a bit ridiculous.  But, ngl, I’m a little bored by this one.   And it’s essentially two in a row (though the unnecessary Tina proposes to Mike plot happens in between).  Kurt freaking out over Carole going crazy is kinda cute, but not enough to help the second half of this episode from being bogged down in musical numbers that feel obligatory. 

We close out the reception-of-no-plot with Our Day Will Come.  I like the little intro, where Kurt gets giddy about calling Blaine his ‘husband’.  And it’s a sweet thank you to Brittany and Santana for letting them do the thing.  But..  

Okay, this is where I would have wanted, maybe... a more romantic song, sung by someone else, so that Klaine could slow dance.  That was, like, the one thing I wanted in the second half of the episode, and I didn’t get it.  I am a little sad about it.  But at least they get to sing and look lovingly at each other?  

This song is... fine.  I’m surprised they hadn’t done this particular quartet before.  It’s got a nice 60′s island beach theme going on.  And it’s... again... a gay marriage = good song.  It’s not really about Klaine or Brittana, it’s about gay people getting married.  And - really, I promise, I am so happy that everyone is now able to get married here in the U.S.  I want all the gay rights (and all the rest of the letters, too).   But, c’mon, guys, you can sell that without being explicit -- these characters meant enough to enough people that just by them getting married and having a normal and organic way of things, it would have sold your message just fine without having to hit us over the head again with it.  

There is a little bit of the lyrics I’d like to pull out though... 

Kurt with Blaine: Our dreams have magic Because we'll always stay In love this way

If you’d like to know how the writers think this romance will play out... well, then, there ya go... and the show’s now over, so this is the way they’ll always be in our hearts.  :) 

The Gender Gentle AnderHummels

So, this is perhaps my favorite scene in the episode, and not just because of Kurt in that Kitten sweater.   I think it’s because it’s the only scene in the episode that breathes a little, and allows both couples not to be saddled with the weight of carrying a HUGE MESSAGE of a VERY SPECIAL EPISODE - but about these two couples being themselves.  It’s also the only time we really get to see Married Klaine interacting outside the tiny bit we get in the series finale.  

Sue’s there to give them their honeymoon packages -- (oh Sue, meddling still in their plans...) And it’s okay that you guys only get a weekend versus Britanna’s month in the Bahamas... Brittana doesn’t get any more screen time, and you guys only get your one episode off.  So, there’s that.  

But then we get this little tag at the end (complete with season 2 scoring!) where Klaine and Brittana get a moment to themselves.  I like that Blaine says that he can’t believe they got married, while Kurt is totally not fazed by that at all, and instead is amazed they survived the reception.   (I’m sure the two of them snuck out early)  

But then there’s this moment, where Kurt reaches behind him, automatically, for Blaine’s hand and they both look so, so happy.  There was a big post going around for a while with intensive meta on it about this single moment, and man, I wish I could remember what it said, because it probably summarized it much better than I can.  Beyond the whole hand holding thing -- again, the two are just so comfortable with each other - having found each other, and having made a life long commitment.  

And, here’s why I think getting married wasn’t such a bad thing for this narrative.  The ring is a symbol.  And that somewhat toxic downward cycle the two of them can get into now gets reversed.  Blaine is secure in his relationship, and of being loved, as well as being able to be out on his own, not relying on Kurt entirely, and because of that, he doesn’t get clingy or insecure, which in turn gives Kurt the breathing room he needs, and when Kurt is feeling not closed in, he becomes affectionate and open and will continue to reach for Blaine’s hand, and marriage is a reminder (to both) that they have to keep on working because they’ve made the commitment.  (This was a horribly worded paragraph, sorry)  

But my point is - they are now secure as individuals and secure in their relationship, and while, yes, I needed a few more scenes to flesh out and have the story make full sense, I’m happy to have this last scene that kind of encompasses everything together and puts the nice bow on it.  They are both so, so happy and relaxed and in love in this scene, and it’s amazing because of it.  

And yes - Brittany will probably call them on their anniversary every year (I kinda love the meta of that -- that Klaine and Brittana are always tied together now), but they’ll probably only see each other once every five-ish years or so.  Their lives will go on and they’ll grow up further and away from each other.  But, their love is all tied up together, and it’s a happy moment for both couples.  

So yeah, that’s the wedding episode! It feels... slightly anticlimactic for as big as the series long story was -- but you know, even with all the scenes I’d have wanted in it, I’m not sure if it’d ever had been fully satisfying.   And, you know, it’s true what they say about it being about the journey not just the ending.  But, you know, they still got married, and the story still is something we’re talking about, and I still love that it kind of marries the idea of the fairy tale with a real relationship.   

And, I’m a little sorry this is the end for Brittana, because it does feel, in a lot of ways, like a penultimate episode.  Brittana is now done (which is another reason I think they got the bulk of the episode) but Klaine’s story has room for a little more in the final episodes - and I’m glad they get to have their nice little coda.  

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: The Hurt Locker, Part 1

Masterpost

6x04: The Hurt Locker, Part 1

It’s weird that this is, really, the only two parter of the entire show.   I mean some episodes had drastic cliffhangers, and others aired together, but this is one of two -- which makes me wonder if this was originally all going to be one episode.  It’s hard to tell.  

We’re also getting into that cracky, cracky fourth wall breaking part of the show.  I know some of you don’t like it - that it feels like they’re putting too much of a spotlight on fandom and the audience.  I guess it doesn’t really bug me? I think they’ve always done this, even so far back as mid-season 1, it’s just a bit more concentrated now -- and I think there’s a part of them that just didn’t give a shit either.  Not many people were watching at this point anyway.  Idk...  

The Hurt Locker

So - we start this episode off with the bizarre crackiness that is Sue’s hurt locker -- where she her psychopathic tendencies and her meta commentary come to collide.  And when she’s not making voodoo dolls out of Will and Rachel (and plotting that bizarre and icky hypnotism stuff on Sam) she’s daydreaming about Klaine’s fabulous gay wedding because it’s her dream to be flower girl.  

Now - at his point, I’m not sure I can even meta this.  I mean, yeah, I can go into the whole thing where Sue’s always had a soft spot for Kurt - and she has.  And a lot of this is wanting Kurt to have a happy wedding (because apart she finds them both shrill and annoying).  But, you know what, let’s just go with it.  Sue’s mega shrine to Klaine is really a stand in for us shippers.  

Honestly, I think it’s kind of funny.  This particular episode - are the writers poking at our eccentricity? Maybe, sure.  But - it’s also celebratory in its own twisted way.  And idk, in a way - Sue’s pushing them back together because ‘we’ want them back together.  But also - because the narrative (the writers) want them back together, too.  

Would they have gotten back together if Sue hadn’t gotten intervened?  Idk - that’s not the story the writers are telling.  So, if you want to explore that, go write the fanfic about it! But the writers are telling the Klaine gets back together story -- and this is the insane way the chose to do it.  

Alright, so beyond the fact that this is utterly terrifying - I find it fascinated that she places Blaine as the bride.  Make of it as you will - but I do think it’s an interesting departure from the idea that Kurt is the ‘girl’ of the relationship.  [side note - they are two guys - there is not a girl in their relationship.]

Blouses

Alright - so Sue hauls Kurt into her office and you know what? He’s totally not having it.  He’s been done with her shit for years, and I’d like to point out that his unwilling attitude is their from the beginning of the scene.  The minute he sits down, he’s over it - and that’s before Sue goes on to declare that his life ambition is to get back together with Kurt.  

I also - kinda think the whole idea of blouses, light and airy femme-ish gays, is kinda funny.  

So, here’s my thing about this scene.  Kurt firmly tells Sue that he doesn’t want to get back together with Blaine.  And in this scene, it may be firm, but it’s not harsh.  

At the end of the series, Kurt’s going to tell Sue that he’s grateful she pushed he and Blaine back together -- because apart, and even after trying to heed to Britany’s advice and move on - Kurt’s not happy.  In fact, as he says in the series finale, he’s miserable.  So yeah - him telling Sue that he doesn’t want to get back together with Blaine is sorta like when he was declaring them friends and wanting ‘desperately’ to be over Blaine back in season 4.  He’s trying - because he doesn’t think it’ll happen.  

But beyond that - it’s good to remember that this is Sue we’re talking about.  She once tried to shoot Brittany from a canon.  She’s been an adversary since the beginning. Do you really think he’s going to trust her? Or really take any part of her shenanigans?  No - he really doesn’t want to do any of that, nor open up emotionally at all.  

The last episode was extreme on Kurt showing emotion - and in this one, he’s closed right up - because, god damn it, it freakin’ hurts when he goes there.  So why not listen to Brittany? Why not just compartmentalize and move on - because he thinks Blaine has.  

Anyway - back to Sue - case in point, at the end of the scene, she declares that she’s set up an invitational to destroy the glee club once and for all.  And she tells him that straight up (instead of voice over!!). So yeah - Kurt is not going to be open about his most vulnerable emotions to someone who is actively trying to destroy him in other ways.  I mean - that’d just be stupid.  

Bears

So... there’s an invitational.  Did you know there was an invitational during season 1? Yup - it was the episode with April Rhodes if you can believe it.  

Anyway, Rachel’s already talked to Will about going easy.  And now - Kurt and Rachel confront Blaine.  And Blaine is having none of it.  And I love it.  Because for the first time since... season 2? Blaine’s standing up for himself - being his own individual person, and not caving in to whatever Kurt wants.  That’s actually a good thing - because one of the issues they were having was that Blaine wasn’t his own person - he was kind of lost in Klaine and I’m thrilled to see him doing alright on his own.  

Meanwhile - if you watch closely, there is a slight look of amusement among the eye-rollyness we see from him here.  Kurt never wanted Blaine to be his lapdog either.  They’re on an equal playing field now - which is actually pretty good! 

So - in the middle of all the stand-off over invitationals, Blaine gets a text that there’s an intruder in his and Karofsky’s apartment.  I kind of love that they don’t call the police or anything but all go running over there to check it out.  This show and logic, man...  

Anyway - I think it’s kind of cool that Kurt (and Rachel) both go over to help Blaine! If the first few episodes of the season were about Kurt coming to terms with his feelings and the status quo, the next few (as told by Sue in the next episode) are about Kurt and Blaine becoming friends again.  And no matter how much is going on with the competition between glee clubs.  Kurt and Blaine are still in each other’s circles, and are still there to help each other out.  

So, um, yeah, there’s a literal bear in the apartment (and I think that the Karofsky freaking out about it part of it is to a) be funny, and b) show that Karofsky isn’t the scary dude we all knew from season two).  It is bizarre that a literal bear would be in the (brightly rainbow colored) apartment.  But, you know, that’s Sue for you - and Kurt catches on pretty quickly.  

I also kind of wonder if this is the first time Kurt’s been over there.  Huh. 

Delicious Porcelain Rump Roast

So, Kurt’s second trip back to Sue’s office is less lighthearted and annoyed - and more just plain angry.  And, I used to think this was slightly over played by Chris, but now that I’m watching this within context, I think maybe it’s not... 

Sue, literally, put a live bear in someone’s apt - and even if it was a cub, it’s still incredibly dangerous - and could have hurt someone badly.  Not to mention the cost of getting it out was probably not cheap.  Sue’s meddling dangerously in his life now - so of course he’s going to be adamant that he doesn’t want her help -- because it’s supposedly the only way it’s going to get her to stop.  

He also takes the moment to tell Sue that he’s met someone online.  And I have to figure that after the Brittany conversation, he went onto the dating sites he was using before he figured out his feelings, and tried again.  And this time met a dude who seems to really like Golden Girls, too, and I’m sure they’ve been up talking a lot.  Which I’m sure is a nice thing -- because having fun talking about old TV shows vs drowning in the misery of watching the person you’re deeply in love with live with your old tormentor - I can see why Kurt’s in the mindset he’s in.  

Anyway, he tells Sue to stop - but then Sue goes on another meta rant about how he can’t date because the dude will eat him alive because, let’s face it, after six years, Kurt Hummel has become a delicious little porcelain rump roast.  Thank you, Glee, for that nice long pan up and down Kurt’s full body.  Lol.  

As funny as Sue’s whole thing is, Kurt backs away slowly because she is freakin’ crazy, and she does need to butt out cause it really isn’t any of her business.  

Prep Work

So - this little scene is about Rachel and Kurt being teachers - and dumping a lot of exposition about the invitationals.  There’s not a whole lot of meta-ish things to say (other than Kurt’s literally twitchy at Rachel’s new piano skills), but it’s a fun and comedic little scene - where they try to give a nice pep talk to the newbies, but you know, there are only four of them and there are lot of things that could go wrong.  

Btw - is it just me or is Lea Michelle extra orange in this episode? 

I suppose this is the point where I should probably mention that season 6′s actual driving plot line is the same as season 1 - to get these kids to sectionals.  And a lot of effort is placed into that, and you know, we have a tendency just to forget that because we’re so focused on the Klaine aspect of everything.  But I’m saying this now because I think when looking at it in full context, the last three-ish episodes before the end make a lot more sense when we see that the story isn’t about the personal lives of Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson (or even, really, much of Rachel Berry) but getting the glee club back on track.  And, eh.  Fine.  I would have preferred a different direction - but they’re trying hard to recapture that season 1 stuff.  And while I enjoy season six more than maybe most people - I still think they could have gone in maybe a more interesting and less rehashed direction for their last season. 

But, eh, they’re doing a full circle thing - so I get it.  

Ex-Lovebirds

So, Blaine comes in looking for Rachel for piano lessons - but she’s off sharing a pretzel with Sam because -- you know what, let’s not talk about that plot line.  Anyway, Kurt’s in the auditorium, too - and they both kinda eye-roll Figgins (who’s been reduced to janitor, btw).  Which reminds me - the scene before this is the scene where Figgins’s sister shows up as the Carmel High principal, and it is utterly one of my favorite things they’ve ever done.  

As soon as Figgins leave - we get Blaine in an upset pout.  And you know what, Kurt’s gonna go ahead and see what’s up.  Cause you know what? Kurt does care - and because they care.  And because they’re getting that friendship back.  It’s interesting to me - that even though there’s a high level of angst in this scene (and god is there) our beloved obligatory Klaine scene is the only scene in which Kurt is mostly relaxed? I mean - he’s not having to yell at Sue, or be professor to a bunch of kids, or have a super awkward date.  He’s just Kurt here - and Blaine’s just Blaine.  And I think it’s the first time in a while that they’re kind of openly just being themselves! 

The awkwardness is stems from the fact that this conversation? It’s about being romantically involved with other people.  Which - is a super weird conversation to be having with your ex.  But interestingly, pushing that awkwardness aside, they both seem to be there for each other.  Kurt’s going to reassure Blaine that Sue’s just messing with he and Karofsky - and they aren’t actually related, while Blaine’s going to wish Kurt best of luck on his upcoming date.  

Even if they didn’t get back together - I get the impression that they still benefit from being in each other’s lives.  As much as this scene is awkward - neither of them are being open to anyone else on the show right now.  It’s baby steps for them - but they were (are) also best friends - and not to diminish the friendships they have with Sam and Rachel respectively, there’s a bond that they share that’s...different than what they share with Sam and Rachel. 

There’s an interesting additional layer of complexity on this scene, though.  First of all, Kurt telling Blaine about his date -- it’s the first signifies to Blaine that he can be upset with Kurt all he wants, but he’s got to sort out his feelings.  Because if he doesn’t, maybe he and Kurt are really over.  

See - before Kurt says his little admission, they discuss Sue trying to get them back together.  And Blaine’s very adamant that as nice it was that they’re each other’s first everythings -- they’ve moved on and don’t want to get back together.  Blaine’s totally on the same page on that sentiment.  Maybe even more so than Kurt, because Kurt’s definitely more hesitant when they discuss it.  But then, bam! Kurt has a date and -- oh shit reality time for Blaine.  

Kurt says they’re being adult about it -- and they really are.  But saying you’re over your ex and actually being over your ex are two different things.  And I think this is the wake-up call Blaine needed. 

Meanwhile, Kurt is open and honest with Blaine -- and ACTUALLY TALKING TO HIM! Can we not down play that aspect? Communication has always been their hard spot, but here, despite the level of difficulty, they’re having and open and more mature conversation.  And yeah - angst flying everywhere -- but you know what? They’re growing up, too, and will be soon ready to be in that adult relationship. 

Well - maturity aside, it’s still not an easy conversation to have, and Blaine kinda gets outta there before they can get into it any more.  

There’s another awkward hug - not as weird as the Scandals one, but it’s always strange having to distance yourself from someone you’ve been very intimate with - and while they’re beginning to get comfortable with each other again, the physical intimacy boundaries are still very awkward.  

But then we have this last little moment of Kurt by himself.  Despite actually being interested in going on this date - he’s not Blaine, and that hurt and sadness and longing are still there.  He can yell at Sue all he wants, and he can tell Blaine they’re fine all he wants, but when he’s alone, he allows his misery to show through.  

Walter

Oh man - where do I even begin with this, lol

So, first of all, Walter totally was not what Kurt was expecting - and Kurt’s first reaction was to get the hell outta there.  It is creepy - this dude in his 50s purposely did not disclose the fact that he’s twice this kids’ age - and had kids, to get a date.  I’m sorry, like, creepy vibes all over.  I don’t necessarily think Walter turns out to be that way - but Kurt has every right to just jet -- which he kind of tries to do at first, honestly. 

Kurt’s face when Walter says he’s on instagram! 

So - here’s the thing to remember about this.  Despite the fact that this whole Walter thing is going to go on for a few episodes -- Glee is going out of their way to show that this is totally not a thing to last.  First of all, Walter is much older and just not on the same wave length as Kurt -- I mean, all the old people jokes from the earlier episodes in the season were totally setting this up -- but Kurt doesn’t necessarily want to date anyone his dad’s age.  

Secondly, this dude’s got a ton of baggage - he’s divorced, has kids, and is just coming to terms with the fact that he’s gay -- and which can be super awkward on a whole lot of levels.  There are a ton of red flags here, which is why, again, Kurt’s first instinct is to get the hell outta there. But it’s also a way for the writers to show that -- this isn’t a love connection or a good match.  Enjoying the Golden Girls is not a basis for a full functioning romantic relationship when there are a ton of other red flags going on.  

But to clarify a little bit - it’s obvious that Kurt and Walter are at two very different points of their lives, and that alone shows that this isn’t something that’s meant to last.  It’s here to be the last roadblock before Kurt and Blaine reconcile.  

I will say that I do find it kinda funny that Kurt got completely distracted by someone agreeing with him about Golden Girls being the best sitcom ever.  

However! Here’s the thing - Kurt’s got a ton of baggage, too, and like Adam - I’m a little sad we didn’t see these midgames explored just a tag more - because it would have been fun to see just how much Kurt goes on about Blaine unintentionally and be just as awkward and weird as Walter is when he’s talking about his ex-wife and kids.  

Why does Kurt end up sticking around? Because fundamentally - Kurt is a good person.  And he knows what it’s like to be gay, and just need someone there to know that you’re not alone.  He doesn’t owe Walter anything, but Kurt does have compassion, even if it’s for this late bloomer gay.  

Meanwhile, I know what you’re thinking -- do you think they hook up?  After this scene, no.  Walter states he’d like to start as friends, and that’s the only reason Kurt sticks around.  

Later? Well - I could make a case for either way.  The narrative is going to go out of its way to show how they’re rather platonic (really - while Blaine and Karofsky get jokes about their sex life, Kurt gets jokes about how he doesn’t have sex).   I also think that being someone’s first experience could be pressure that Kurt may not want to take on.   

At the same time, I think Kurt enjoys sex - and kind of the way Blaine’s not letting his relationship with Karofsky be intense, I think Kurt could be fine with some casual sex.  I think he has gotten to that point in his life where sex and love/romance don’t need to be so tangled with one another.  He’s still in love with Blaine, his heart won’t change.  But enjoying the physical side of things - I think he’s grown up enough to feel okay with doing that.  

And like Adam - it’s your choice.  I’m kind of indifferent on it, and like I said, could easily make a case for either one. 

That all said - do I think Walter was a necessity? No - I think there are other ways you can show someone moving on from a relationship that don’t involve dating another person.  But this is a) Glee - where they don’t know how else to tell these kinds of stories and b) mainstream society in which it’s routine to tell stories like this.  So I get it.  

Invitationals (Part 1)

Meanwhile, back in the overarching plot of the season - invitationals happen.  And Will decides to not do as Rachel asks and actually preps his group and not throw it.  To be fair, she should have never asked.  Still - he’s kind of a dick about it.  

And we’re forced to sit through two unnecessary vocal adrenaline songs because the episode was running a little light on music.  

I’m with ya Kurt.  Because while VA is flashy, there is almost no vocal showmanship when your lyrics consist solely of ‘rock lobster’ and ‘whip it’.  How can these even be songs for a glee club? Ug, this show.  

The only meaningful thing is that Kurt shares a ‘wtf’ look with Blaine.  They may have opposite groups, but they both can agree that Will and VA and this whole ending five minutes is just stupid.  

Get back to the more interesting plot, show, no one cares... 

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: What The World Needs Now

Masterpost

6x06: What The World Needs Now

So - after what’s been a really strong Kurt (Klaine) story - we’re going to pause a second and talk about Brittana (and Rachel).  And - it’s fine.  I think this episode is underrated a little because of the lack of Kurt and Blaine in it.  And this is really Brittana’s last big episode, and they don’t get many, so I won’t begrudge them that.  Plus - it makes my job easier for an episode - even if the Klaine story does feel like it’s coming to a grinding halt for an episode.  (I suppose when you watch these all together though, it doesn’t feel like such a road bump).  

Exposition

Kurt’s back and here to remind you that a minor win is a good thing and introduce the theme of the week -- Burt Bacharach.  Cause y’all know who that is, lol.  Well - you’ve probably heard a billion of his songs, but didn’t really know that he wrote them.  It’s a little weird for a final tribute episode, but it feels like Ryan Murphy wants to get out all his guilty pleasures before the show ends.  

Kurt’s also there to welcome back Mercedes.  Who - btw, is there to be okay with Rachel dating Sam, and help Rachel out emotionally.  Basically - she now has Kurt’s old job, and thank god.  I mean - I’m sorry Mercedes is relegated to this role, but it does free up Kurt from the shackles that is normal Hummelberry.  

Though honestly - Hummelberry has been... fine.  They’ve kinda been in their own little worlds when they aren’t teaching.  It’s almost... Healthy.  

And anyway - it’s actually nice to see Rachel and Mercedes be supportive friends.  There just isn’t enough positive f/f friendships on the show. 

Project Rachel

Mercedes has it in her head that while it’s nice the glee club is going again - Rachel needs to be back in New York again cause that’s where she’s supposed to be.  And while I don’t think she’s wrong, I am rolling my eyes at the one last time the show is going to coddle Rachel.  

I should note - there’s a quick mention that Kurt’s working on his ‘thesis’ for NYADA.  It’s an afterthought - sure, but at least the show remembers the other reason why he’s there.  But it’s also a reminder that coaching is only a temporary thing for Kurt, too.  I kind of wish the show didn’t gloss over it so easily.  But the point is - one of the reasons the show isn’t (unfortunately) focusing on Kurt’s career is that he’s not needing the push to go back to New York.  Returning really isn’t a question in his book.  His push is back towards Blaine - his version of home.  

See - way back in Loser Like Me, Kurt, Rachel, and Blaine are back in Lima because they needed to have a reset (like the glee club itself) and the point of season 6 is to get that reset.  Rachel’s eventually gonna get back on her path towards a performance career, while Kurt and Blaine get back on their path - wherever it might lead, together.  And the glee club will continue on and forward like it always should have.  It’s a whole full circle thing the writers were going for in this last season, while (questionably) tying up all the loose ends. 

Whether you find it satisfying or not I suppose is up to you. 

Anyway - Mercedes mentions she has a plan for Rachel to fall back in love with New York, and she apologizes (not really) to Kurt for bringing Blaine in.  Kurt kinda reacts - like - oh, so we’re gonna do that.  But I mean, nothing really comes of it.  I do like how flippant Mercedes is about it.  Just get your shit together, boys, there are other things to worry about.  Like the main character of the series. 

I kind of love that they call New York ‘endgame’ for Rachel, lol.  Also love that the only time Kurt’s on screen during this number is when he’s next to Blaine at the piano.  Nice touch! Unfortunately, he doesn’t sing at all - so boo! 

Alfie

So, um, Kurt I suppose is technically in this scene - faux singing backup in the background.  I don’t really like this song, nor do I really want to get into the Brittana of it all (do you guys care about my thoughts on Brittana? No? Didn’t think so).  So - this is here for completion purposes. 

Oh - I suppose though cause I’m feeling it - the one thing about Brittana that I want to say is -- Brittany’s speech to Santana’s grandmother is perfect, and I kinda wish they had let the story go at that instead of go the happily ever after route with the grandma in the wedding episode.  But ah well, it’s glee.  Happily Ever After is what they do. 

Family

Kurt: Family embraces you with open arms no matter what.   Blaine: They can see the pain in your eyes even when you’re fooling everyone else. 

So, long story short - we get a full Glee speech about the real meaning of family, The context is about Brittana - but I like to think it means more than just them supporting the girls and their wedding.  

Kurt says that family embraces you - and I like to think he’s talking from experience.  I mean look what Burt and Kurt have gone through throughout the series.  And how supportive they’ve been through everything that’s been thrown at him.  Santana, clearly, hasn’t had the same kind of upbringing - so this whole unconditional love thing seems almost a foreign concept. 

Meanwhile - Blaine mentions that family can see you for what you really are - and he looks to Kurt as he does so.  And I’ve always taken that to mean that despite their relationship issues, Kurt and Blaine can tell when the other one is hurting. (I mean - look at the previous episode - and despite their BS’ing words - their looks told another story - and they both knew it.) 

And... then we get a chorus of What The World Needs Now.  It’s love, btw, in case you didn’t catch on.  There’s also a bunch of commentary about gay rights in here, too - but I’ll probably save that for the wedding episode. 

We end with a party at Will’s house - where everyone is relaxing and having a good time, as the song goes on about the world needing more love in it.  

Kurt gets the door to invite Blaine in - and he’s delighted to see Blaine.  They hug - and it’s sweet, now super awkward like Loser Like Me, or finding their way again like in Hurt Locker Part 1.  They’re two people who are now comfortable again, and while not quite back to what they were - they’re in a good place with each other.  

And as Blaine comes in, Kurt’s noticing something else -- the distinct lack of someone accompanying Blaine, and he’s absolutely delighted about it.  Progress indeed.