#LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL
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Theres actually so many times where I'm like having thoughts about something but I just.... don't think anything of it....
#like my current bf and how i definitely didnt have any feelings towards him while dating my ex#(i 100% did i had so many thoughts about him but. i was with my ex so OF COURSE i wouldnt like anyone else)#(also by this time i dont think i actually liked my ex anymore i just thought i did because we were long time friends and had been dating#for 6 months even though i thought talking to him and seeing him was more bothersome and was happy when he was busy for extended periods)#LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL#and then i dated him for 4 MORE months and had a hard time concluding on ending it#WHICH IS ANOTHER CASE OF ME STRAIGHT UP JUST IGNORING MY ACTUAL THOUGHTS#yknow what it is? if i have any conflicted/contradictory thoughts/feelings i will just default to whatever makes my life easiest then#which totally explains all of this#its way easier to pretend like you still like your partner and maintain status quo than to actually commit to ending things#even if the relationship sucks to a degree you are STILL realizing and coming to terms with a year later :)#hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm#thats smth to think about LATER
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i have to play for an induction ceremony tomorrow but am i practicing? no.ย
#loooooooooolllllllll im gonna bomb this performance so hard see u all in therapy#me: i'm gonna fail and there's something i could do to prevent that but am i? no#txt
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