#LOSING MY MARBLES K GOODBYE

[cupcakegal25]

so i beat totk

and holy fucking SHIT it was good!!!!! i actually kept a record of my thoughts as i played it, so i'm gonna be posting that now just for funsies. major major MAJOR spoilers under the cut!!!!!!

RAURU OCARINA OF TIME??!?!?!?

why do i have to do the wholeass tutorial with no shirt. completely tits out

purah :eye: :eye:

love my horsies

2 eponas [accidentally summoned epona before linking stable accounts]

damn we were right about the time travel [dragon tear 1]

TEBA THE ELDER?!??!?!?!????!

the flying ship is vah medoh idiots /hj

revali’s gale 2 electric boogaloo [tulin's tornado]

damn is this what it would be like to fight the blights with the champions because if so :sob: :sob: :sob:

if revali finds out about this his impostor syndrome will only get worse istg

SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES

SAGE OF TIME ZELDA MY FUCKGINH BELOFVED

what were the original sages named please

HOLY FUCKING BINGLE PHANTOM TULIN

ring :o

frozen lookin ass cutscene

REVALI’S LANDING (this is your fault hope)

great eagle bow……

did link just give the champion’s weapons back goddamn

VOW OF TULIN SAGE OF WIND <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

is sidon gonna have to sneak out to help me with this /hj

zelda has parents now love that for her <3 [rauru and sonia]

i was heading for gerudo town and now i’m in kakariko i do not know how this happened please send help

CHIEF PAYA???!?!?!??!??!??!?

made it to zora’s domain on accident. welp

WHERE DID MIPHA G O GET MY GIRL B A C K HERE [sidon statue]

WHO THE FUCK IS SIDON GETTING MARRIED TO WHAT

i would like to give sidon a hug please and thank you

WATER MANIPULATION SIDON GO AWOOGA

KING SIDON KING SIDON KING SIDON [dorephan and muzu]

sidon trauma arc [mipha come home :(]

ma’am i knew mipha [he doesn’t want to lose anyone else]

THERE SHE IS THERE’S MY GIRL [mipha]

sidon sage of water please? please nintendo? please sidon sage of water?

oh god oh fuck SIDON LOOK OUT [sludge like]

what the FUCK is up with the gravity here what the hell

oh god oh fuck water temple (i kinda figured this was coming but still)

CHAMPION PICTURE IN MY H O U S E THANK YOU KASS

link and zelda roommates :)

mucktorok is dancin

wtf is that a shark?

holy shit that’s like a zant looking death [mucktorok]

thank you sidon for my life [water shield]

wait that mask looks like vah ruta. wait

ma’am mipha is right there [my kin etc]

secret stone is kinda a dumb name i think

that’s LITERALLY the lightscale trident MA’AM [sage of water’s weapon]

i still love sage of time zelda. btw

dear god i NEED to know these people’s names this is becoming SUCH a problem

gonna take a detour to look for the dragon’s tears i think

sidon sage of water!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

i fucking adore him so so so much i love him SO much

another disney lookin ass cutscene but not as pronounced

KING SIDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i’m so proud of my boy

vow of sidon sage of water………

i love dorephan’s hat it looks silly

well guess i’m doing the gerudo quest last cause here i am in goron city

probably for the best given. history (thunderblight) (riju I’m sorry)

yunobo what the FUCK are you doing

i’m sorry i hate this outfit also what the hell

god daruk would be so upset :(

well this seems. bad [yunobo being mean]

oh yeah that’s really not good

CLEARLY NOT HIMSELF JHGKLASJGLKJAG [boss subtitle]

goodbye ugly mask!

did she just trap us in the cave with this stupid fucking rock [zelda and marbled rock roast]

oh it’s not just daruk's protection again that’s interesting! [yunobo’s charge]

yeah i one million percent guarantee that that isn’t zelda

what the FUCK am i looking at

moragia??? alright

god that was HARD to control what the fuck [wing]

holy shit the atmosphere in here is INCREDIBLE [death mountain crater]

damn is this dungeon going to be underground instead of in the sky? swag

woah the fire temple is the gorondia that i’ve heard about in side quests? pog

oh this is really interesting! big spirit tracks vibes [mine carts]

three whole boss fights in this section wow [yunobo, moragia, marbled gohma]

GOHMA?!?!??!???!??!?!??!

there she goes! why was the second phase easier than the first though that’s my main question

alright so the masks on the sages are definitely the divine beasts

i should wear my vah naboris mask for the last one lmao

yunobo is confused. dw bro i have played many games in this series and also seen two other cutscenes nearly identical to this

wait are the vas the same for the sages and their descendants and thus the champions. wait

well not the sage of water but that just supports my argument more i think. mipha voice actress real?

how did zelda fucking GET here how many fucking fireproof elixirs did she need to USE [fire temple]

elixir wears off as the sage is doing his little speech and zelda bursts into flames lmfao

hi it’s me, the swordsman link. nice to meet you [gorons will help swordsman named link]

daruk would be so proud of yunobo and mipha would be so proud of sidon and i guarantee urbosa would be so proud of riju (i haven’t gotten there yet) but revali would just be really jealous of tulin LMAO

yay sage of fire yunobo!!!!!!!!!! i like daruk better i’m sorry

AW FISTBUMB THAT’S SO CUTE FUCK YEAH

i know it’s just the secret stone but yunobo fucking looks like he’s on fire gkhlsakgjlagk [giving the vow]

wait this is on my thumb? that’s gonna leave a finger leftover what the hell [rings/vows]

i’m gonna like recruit riju and then all of us are going to storm hyrule castle together somehow LMAO

oh shit the rock roast was made of gloom? that makes sense actually

i love the gorons :D

BLUDO NO YOU’RE GOING TO THROW YOUR BACK OUT AGAIN [yunobo’s apology]

vow of yunobo sage of fire :D

actually fucking going to gerudo town know istg

slightly untrue actually i’m going to make a detour to activate the last three towers but two of them are on the way so it’s probably fine [forest, gerudo, wasteland]

rauru knows ganondorf is evil and is keeping him close to keep an eye on him so he’s already many many steps ahead of the oot king

also did no one notice how ganondorf was commanding the moldugas in the last cutscene. what

alright made it to kara kara bazaar! how the FUCK am i supposed to get to gerudo town though

also thank fucking god they put a shrine here i Need it

these guys think they’re gonna be liked enough to be allowed into gerudo town. They Won’t

okay thank you tulin for helping me get here i still have no idea where i’m going but i can work with it thank you

OH FUCK GIBDOS. TERRIFYING

going to avoid fighting those at all costs i think! Yikes:tm:

made it to gerudo town after many many detours! hooray!

wait hold on where IS everyone

THERE’S A GIBDO IN THE TOWN

okay made it to a. guard. this makes sense

alright so there’s people behind this wall but i cannot get in i am not allowed

where’s the dialogue option to tell this guard i’m nonbinary /hj

i have broken into the sanctuary and i think i’m gonna die

BULIARA DEFENDS ME???? AIGHT

okay heading out to find riju my beloved <3

PATRICIA!!!!!!!!!!

oh she grew up so pretty i’m so proud of her

yay she did it yay!

oh god that’s viscerally horrifying jesus christ [gibdo swarming kara kara bazaar]

oh that’s AWFUL i HATE the way they spawned

we did it yay!!!

that’s probably not actually zelda lbr

alright I’m back i was busy cooking

sage riju let’s fucking goooooo

just realized this is a new ganondorf (unless this takes place after fsa) absolutely wild we have had three of them and like ~20 links and zeldas

okay i’m as prepared as i can be i think let’s go

terrible horrible fucked up i hate it [gibdos]

oh god oh fuck oh shit she’s so COOL [riju]

alright i was terrible at that! fantastic [defending gerudo town]

whatever at least i won

ooh mural? let’s take a look

just realized i completely forgot about akkala lemme activate that tower

alright got sidetracked into doing a thing for josha. fought a frox. terrifying shit

but i made it here to the great abandoned central mine

why are there people here

oh that bitch is DEFINITELY a yiga

okay that’s an interesting new power [autobuild]

don’t wanna do this for them but here goes

alright, who’s the “master”

MASTER KOHGA??????

oh my god he fell into a pit maybe he’s been alive this WHOLE TIME

I WAS RIGHT

i cannot fucking believe this shit i’m so happy about it

great twist actually i deadass wasn’t expecting it

oh i love that so much

man are you planning on ripping my arm off. probably yes actually

alright boss time!

done! god that was so fun

i hope there aren’t any more misunderstandings in regards to his death though that would suck *cough @ofstormsandfire's absolutely fantastic fic no one ever mentions fear cough*

HGKLSAJGLKASG JUST FLIES OFF THAT’S SO FUNNY

alright that was a great detour and i am very happy i did it

back to josha!

i. completely forgot about faron. just a minute

climbed up totori rock. mistakes were made

back to riju. that puzzle was way too fuckin annoying [red pillar riddle]

ooh temple on the ground?

lightning temple… interesting. wasn’t sure if it would be lightning temple or thunder temple (maybe like sand or desert but i didn’t think so cause that didn’t seem like it would be a fitting sage title for riju)

OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT [queen gibdo]

am i just going straight into the boss fight??? no dungeon??? what the hell

ohhhhh it retreated. so i do still have a dungeon!

finally made it into this fucking place!

five bucks says this place is the token creepy dungeon. should’ve made that bet earlier tbh

oh that voice sounds JUST like urbosa holy shit

i like how the rooms in this place have like. names and stuff

alright boss time!

OH GOD THAT DID SO MUCH DAMAGE [queen gibdo]

holy shit this is gonna be a ROUGH one

FINALLY that took me 30 goddamn minutes

just realized i forgot to put on the vah naboris mask. oh well

ooh pretty earring

so the only ring missing is my middle finger. sure wonder why that is /s

oh man am i finally gonna be allowed in gerudo town without crossdressing? swag!

vow of riju sage of lightning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alright, let’s go talk to purah. after we check in with her i’ll probably go looking for the rest of the memories

why is there a blood moon in the middle of the day. that seems really bad

okay time for dragon tears!

SONIA NO [sonia gets stabbed]

god that’s gotta be AWFUL for zelda since now she’s lost 3 separate moms :( [unnamed bio mom, urbosa, sonia]

oh god he looks damn near identical to demise [secret stone ganondorf]

oh fuck lynels look so terrifying now i hope i never ever have to fight one

thank you zelda for having braincells and leaving

rauru going to his death a better father than rhoam EVER was [zelda telling rauru about dehydrated ganondorf]

FI!!!! [fi chiming]

zelda??? zelda honey??? what are you doing?????  [dragon tear 11]

zelda??? Is that you??? [light dragon]

ZELDA NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [dragon tear 12]

god fuck I’m actually crying

heading to korok forest. i fucking hate this

oh jeez what’s up with the koroks? what’s up with the DEKU TREE?

FUCK GLOOM HANDS

i do not know how i killed them honestly

what the fuck PHANTOM GANON

okay that’s cool as fuck thank you totk for bringing back multiple great characters/enemies

alright i’ve got the master sword and i’m sobbing my eyes out thanks nintendo!

fucked around for a SUBSTANTIAL period of time i’m going to finally do the hyrule castle thing now i think

WHOEVER THAT IS SHUT YOUR SLUTTY MOUTH I KNOW BETTER YOU AREN’T MY GIRL [zelda voice]

i hate this so much i hate this soooo much stop looking like my girl and summoning monsters and let me fucking kill you please god

yknow this cutscene would probably hit different if i didn’t already do the dragon’s tears [sanctum cutscene]

alright i died to the first hit which is just excellent

FRIENDS! :D [sages showing up]

yknow if nothing else at least he didn’t make me fight a lynel

i love how tulin is just sitting on yunobo’s back after ganon’s thing. btw

oh, the champion’s tunic! thank you zelda i love you zelda

okay i love the conversation with harth and tulin. hope you were right about the polycule goddamn

i just noticed: link is BARELY taller than tulin holy fucking bingle

missing sage? :o

i bet it’s paya. i hope it is at least that would be cool i think

MINERU???? [voice]

oh god I’m in the ground MINERU WHY

MINERU!!!!

sage of spirit mineru pog!!!!!!

i was CONVINCED whoever it was would be the sage of shadow ngl but this works!

i have built a robot. this is apparently mineru now. i’m down for it tbh

she lost her secret stone? oh fuck that’s not good

I CAN RIDE AND DRIVE MINERU???? FUCK YEAH

oh what the FUCK is that [seized construct]

is there a dungeon here or just a boss fight? hold up

oh my GOD it takes NO DAMAGE i HATE that

wait fuck i slammed it into the fence that works thank fucking god

okay i stun locked it into the second phase which is excellent

done! that gives me big koloktos vibes actually i really like that

also really really helpful that i didn’t have to rely on my battery charge things during the fight i would’ve been FUCKED

MINERU WAS IN THE PURAH PAD????? THE WHOLEASS TIME???? SINCE MILLIONS OR WHATEVER YEARS AGO WHEN ZELDA SHOWED UP?????? i'm shook

actually the more i think about it the more her being the sage of spirit makes sense since she can like separate her soul from her body or whatever i'm pretty sure

there’s the last ring there’s the middle finger!

i do think that should've been riju though for. reasons

ma’am i swear to god if you tell me what i ALREADY KNOW about what happened to zelda

goddammit she is telling me that isn’t she

she’s the older sister? makes sense actually the vibes track

oh she’s explaining the murals from below the castle at the very very beginning! funky fresh

oh geez this is how he got dehydrated! or at least the start of it i guess

yeah, mineru, I KNOW WHAT SHE DID

MINERU WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN WHY DID YOU LET HER DO THAT

god like i understand that you’re dying and there was no other choice but FUCK this hurts

vow of mineru sage of spirit……. fuck

purah please i KNOW you’re smarter than this you GOTTA put the pieces together so i don’t suffer this knowledge alone i fuckin REFUSE

well there she goes but no fucking reaction makes it worse, thanks

oh god oh fuck oh no LYNEL

i am ZOOMING past that fight holy shit

OH NO I ASCENDED INTO THE LYNEL ROOM FUCK

“the power of the sages cannot reach you” thanks! i hate it!

fuck. back here again. game’s almost over huh [zonai mural room]

oh the last three murals….. fuck [sages v ganondorf, zelda and master sword, light dragon]

the fUCKING TORCH ON THE GROUND THAT’S ZELDA’S FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

alright. let’s end this

FRIENDS! SAGES!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

okay i died pretty fast there so i left, made a bunch of food, used most of my sundelions, and i’m back to try again

alright that went much better! or at least the first half did i guess there’s lizalfos now

ah fuck gibdos

aaaaand moblins. please let this be everything

alright! i did it!

ah fuck bosses. hate that a lot thanks

nevermind! hate that more! [separated from friends]

fuckin. did you really need to seal me in. bitch

eyyyyy there he is! he’s rehydrated!

HE CAN PERFECT DODGE???? GODDAMN

alright. one health bar down. no way it’s the last one

OH GOD OH FUCK SECRET STONE

WHAT THE FUCK KINDA HEALTH BAR IS THAT IT GOES OFF THE S C R E E N

SAGES :D

okay the health bar doesn’t go off the screen but still THIS FEELS EXCESSIVE

just saw tulin soar past me teba and saki are GOING to have my head

don’t fuckin crook your fingers at me like that

y’know if nothing else i’m getting really good at perfect dodges

HE CAN DODGE MY FLURRY RUSHES NOW???? bullshit. unfair

back to ganondorf, i left to get a fuckload of sundelions make a bunch of sunny dishes

first phase done. that went really well, actually

HOLY SHIT HOW DID I PULL THAT OFF I JUST BACKED HIM INTO A CORNER AND I HAD ONE HEART AND BARELY ANY SHIELD LEFT WHAT THE HELL

oh my god is he doing what i think he’s doing

VENGEANCE FOR ZELDA. FUCK YEAH

oh that’s terrible i hate the eyes

that’s literally the calamity [demon dragon]

who?? called my name??? who was that???

also how the hell am i supposed to kill an immortal dragon or whatever

i am looking at the calamity right now istg [demon dragon]

okay nevermind that’s a dragon but STILL

demon dragon…. kinda slaps

oh i’m stuck in his jaws i’m DOOMED

ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK DAD WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CALL NOW FUCK YOU

oh thank GOD i have my hearts back

i see a couple big fucked up eyes that’s probably the weak points

thank you zelda love you zelda :) [she catch me]

damn this is gonna go pretty easy it feels like like i’m not gonna jinx it but this is going really well so far

i fuckin fell off

zelda sweetie i think you caught me wrong for a sec i almost fell off the side

FUCK UP THAT SECRET STONE LINK HELL YEAH

there he goes! probably hopefully idk for sure

i don’t feel so good mr. stark -ganondorf probably idk i've never watched marvel [death]

destroy ganondorf, complete……

glowy hand?

i am in the void. with the zelda

my glowy hand is goin towards her

oh! rauru and sonia! hi!

wait is this zelda and sonia’s time power. wait

are we bringing her back?!?!?!??! like i didn’t think nintendo would leave her like that forever but still please please please

ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my beloved baby girl she’s BACK

my shirt is off and my hat is off but i’m still wearing the royal guard pants. weird

bye sonia!!! bye rauru!!!

question. how are we gonna get to the ground

ZELDA NO!

dive to zelda… i love that actually

I CAUGHT HER THIS TIME!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

if that is the last gameplay in the game i would be so happy with that actually. the last thing i do is a parallel to the first thing i couldn’t

zelda :D fi :D

WAAAAAA I LOVE HER WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am going to give her a hug. where’s the hug button nintendo

nintendo that’s nice that she felt like she got a hug but i want to hug her

SHE’S HOME!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

find princess zelda complete!!!!!!!

oh! post-credits scene!

me and zelda and sages and purah! :D

oh… bye mineru…. ilu….

i can’t believe zelda lost 6 separate moms (gender-neutral) over just 2 games (sorry) [unnamed bio mom, urbosa, sonia, mineru, rauru, daruk]

oh that’s so CUTE thank you sages

the end :D

[tanadrin]

Reordberend

(part 24 of 30; first; previous; next)

“So I was looking over the maps before we left, and I think once we get down to the ice, the best route is to just head straight for the coast, then turn south. Once we get past Marble Point, we can head due east over the ice. The descent is pretty steep there, but it’s a straight shot to the mountain.”

There was a long pause. Leofe grunted. Katherine sighed.

It had been like this all morning. Katherine trying to make conversation. Leofe almost completely ignoring her. Talking about the route, the weather, what they were going to do when they got there. Katherine’s plan to just ask Leofe point blank what the problem was had faltered, because it turned out the woman was perhaps the most brilliant stone-waller she had ever seen. She had an Olympic-level “shut up and leave me alone” face. She could probably make glaciers turn around and go back up a mountain with just her glare. In short, it was impossible to talk to her. Katherine was dying inside.

“Of course, we could also just go straight from Marble Point. Or we could head for McMurdo Station--sorry, that’s Giantstone to you, I think. There might be a clearer path up the summit. Or have your people made one?”

Silence. Oh for fuck’s sake.

“Or we could--or we could--” Katherine’s voice faltered. “Or we could just spend the next five days in the world’s most awkward silence,” she said to herself quietly.

The walk down the valley was easy enough. They had passed the Lower Settlement by midmorning, and they had stopped briefly--well, Katherine had stopped briefly, Leofe kept walking--to say hello to Eadwig. He was on his way to a new fane they were building in the hills, he said, and his stonecutting expertise had been requested.

“Oh!” Katherine said. “I have something for you.” She reached into her coat, and took out the bird that Hraefn had made her. “Hraefn made this from a salvage-piece I found. Maybe you can find a place for it in your fane?”

Eadwig had smiled. “This is wonderful. You say Hraefn made it?”

Katherine nodded.

“Astonishing. I think I know just the place for it. Thank you, Katherine.”

Katherine said a hurried goodbye and jogged to catch up with Leofe. That had really been the only bright spot of the morning, and she was starting to regret agreeing to this little excursion.

Further down the valley, the path was narrower and in disrepair, and they had had to slow down a bit. Still, they would easily reach the icy ground by late afternoon--what passed for it, in the Antarctic night. Katherine had tried to engage Leofe in a conversation about whether they should stop there, or keep going, but Leofe refused to answer. Not even a syllable.

Finally, about noon, judging by the stars, Katherine was reaching her breaking point. “Should we stop for lunch soon?” Silence, of course. “Or keep walking until we die?” Silence. “Walk straight out onto the ocean, until the ice ends, and go plummeting into the sea to get eaten by some bottom-dwelling slime creature?” A gust of wind, then nothing. “I fucked your brother.”

“You’re a child.”

“Oho! So now she speaks!”

“You didn’t. Leofric would have told me.”

“But I might have, which is why you said something.”

“Childish.”

“Leofe!” Katherine stopped walking. Leofe kept going. “Leofe!” she shouted. Finally Leofe stopped, and turned around. “What?” she said flatly.

“What. Is. Your. Problem.”

Leofe’s gaze flicked, just for a moment, off to the side. “You,” she said.

Katherine pinched the bridge of her nose with two gloved fingers.

“What did I do,” she said.

“It’s not what you did. It’s what you are.”

“And what’s that?”

“Outsider. Alien. You don’t understand anything.”

“Fuck!” Katherine yelled this last word so hard it echoed off the bare stone slopes. She strode forward until she was an inch from Leofe’s face. She realized, a moment too late, that Leofe had a good three inches on her, and there was no way in hell this was going to be intimidating, but she went with it anyway. “Really?” she hissed. “That’s the problem? I would expect that from Aelfric. I might expect that from Edgar, or Hrimgar, or Hraefn’s sister, the one with the sour face. I even sort of understand it from Wulf, because he’s old, I guess, and set in his ways. But you? That’s your problem?”

“I didn’t see it at first. Now I do.”

“I don’t believe that for one second. We got along fine. You worked your butt off to make sure they’d let me stay, and when they did, you worked your butt off to make sure I felt reasonably welcome, and then you go all cold on me like I killed your cat and pissed in your penguin soup, and that’s the reason you give?”

Leofe’s mask of irritation wavered, just for a second. “Yes,” she said quietly. “That’s the reason. I don’t need to give you a reason, but that’s the one I’m giving you. Deal with it.”

“Fine. Then I’ll leave.”

“What?”

“When we get to the coast. I’ll go. You head southeast, to Ross Island. I’ll go north. I’ll go up past McMurdo Sound, then head for the coast. I’ll try to signal a passing ship using the firestarter we brought. I’ve got ten days of food, that should get me at least to Cape Hallett.”

“Don’t be stupid. It’s all bays and glacial tongues between here and there. That would take you weeks. And there won’t be any ships. It’s the middle of winter.”

“There are still icebreakers operating out of Port Alexander this time of year. And Wulf said there were lights seen off the coast.”

“Probably in the air.”

“I’ll take the chance.”

“You’d die.”

“So?”

“What do you mean, ‘so’?”

“I mean, why should you care? I’m a foreigner. An alien. You’ve fulfilled your duty of hospitality to me, but if I choose to leave, that’s on me. And it’s no skin off your nose. Best case, I get home. Worst case, you can tell your grandkids about the stupid outlander who insisted on freezing to death on the ice.”

“Argh! You idiot!” Leofe looked for a second like she was going to hit Katherine. “I’m not going to let you kill yourself.”

“So, what? You do care? What’s the real reason you’ve been avoiding me? It’s not that you think I’m some wicked invader hellbent on destroying your people’s way of life. Am I just annoying? Did I flirt with your boyfriend or something? Was it Aelfgar? Do you have a crush on Aelfgar?”

“Shut up!”

“Ooh, touched a nerve there, did I? Leofe and Aelfgar, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-”

Leofe put both hands on Katherine’s chest, and shoved her as hard as she could. Katherine was too surprised to do anything but fall ass-end backward onto the rocks, dropping her lantern-staff, her pack, and hitting her tailbone hard on something. She let out a long, guttural groan of pain. “Oh fuck” she said. “I think I broke something.” Leofe only stood there, and Katherine could see there were tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

“You really don’t understand anything,” Leofe said.

“Fine,” Katherine said quietly from the ground. “Explain it to me.”

Leofe stood there, saying nothing. Katherine leaned her head back, staring up at the stars. They really were very beautiful. She let out a long sigh.

“If there’s anything I’ve learned about you, Leofe,” she said calmly, “it’s that you don’t like to show your emotions. You like to pretend the only feelings you have are anger and possibly affectionate irritation, which you sometimes show to your brother and father, and that’s it. And maybe you have other emotions, maybe sometimes you’re sad or anxious or afraid, but those aren’t supposed to be for other people, they’re just supposed to be for you.

“But this isn’t fair. I thought I was your friend, and you’re not treating me like a friend. You’re pushing me away--literally, just there, and can I say, ow--instead of talking to me. And if I was anybody else, maybe I’d cut my losses and walk away and say fuck it, and maybe I’d actually fuck your brother, just to get under your skin, but I’m not. I’m stubborn. I don’t give up. It’s a trait that’s served me well. It’s what let me to get out of the tiny-ass corner of the world I was born in and move to Europe when I was eighteen. It’s what kept me from dying when my ship sank and I had no hope of rescue. It’s what brought me to Antarctica in the first place, hoping to do what nobody else had ever done, because I was arrogant and stubborn enough to think I could. So I’m not going to leave you alone. We’re stuck together, alone, for the next ten days at least. And after that, I’m going to be hanging around your village, and going to be in your life, for another three months--and the Dry Valleys are not that big. You can’t avoid me forever. So tell me what’s going on, and let’s deal with it.”

Leofe unslung her pack, dropped it to the ground, and sat down on it like stool. She leaned forward, staring at Katherine.

“I don’t know how to say it,” she said.

“Try. Do I have bad breath or something? I’m pretty sure it’s the diet, I don’t usually eat this much m--”

“It hurts to be around you. It didn’t at first. You were new. And interesting. And I thought you… I thought that your presence here was an opportunity. But it wasn’t. After a while it just hurt. And I don’t want to be around you.”

“Why does it hurt?”

“Because… does it matter? You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

“How could you? You’re from… out there. Over the garsecg. Over the sea. You’re an outlander, and that means things. Means things that you can’t even begin to understand, because you’re not one of us. But above all, it means you’re part of something else, that I can’t ever have for myself.”

“And what’s that?”

“What do you mean? It’s everything. It’s the whole world. A different world.”

“And you think you can’t have that? Leofe, do you want to leave Antarctica?”

Leofe was really crying now, and Katherine was sort of in shock.

“No,” she said. “I love my family. I love my people. I don’t want to lose them. But yes. I want to know what’s out there beyond the sea. I always have. But it’s one or the other. I can’t have both.”

“Leofe, you idiot! Yes, you can!”

Leofe shook her head. “No. I can’t. I said you wouldn’t understand.”

Katherine worked her way gingerly into a sitting position. The rocks were uncomfortable as hell, but she wasn’t quite up to standing.

“I told you about where I grew up, didn’t I?”

“A little.”

“It was a small community. An insular community. Not like here--nowhere is quite like here--but I know what it’s like to be, er, for lack of a better word, part of a place that’s a relic of the past. And I’ve left. And I’ve gone back, too. And I feel connected to that place. And I feel like part of the world.”

“But it’s not the same. You said so yourself. You’ve always been part of that world, even if not a full part. Do you really think I would ever be part of your world? And do you really think my people--people like Wulf, people like Aelfric--would take back someone who left theirs?”

Katherine considered this. “Maybe they would have to. Maybe they would have to learn how.”

“No. They wouldn’t. They’d turn their back on me. And I don’t know, maybe they would be right to.”

“No. I don’t believe that.”

“It doesn’t matter what you believe. It matters what we believe. And we prize our separation. We prize our independence. We have struggled for two hundred years to recover what your world has lost, and even if I sometimes dream of leaving this place, I don’t want to leave that behind.”

“And what is that? What have you recovered that we have lost?”

“It’s in the name of the place we’re going.”

“‘The Fane of Terror.’ What, terror? Dread? You think we’re not afraid of anything?”

“No. Not fǣr. Æge. The Fane of Æge.”

Katherine racked her brain for a minute. “Æge. Æge. The Fane of Awe? You think my people have lost the ability to feel awe? What gave you that impression?”

“It’s why our founders came here. Didn’t Aelfric explain all this to you?”

“He tried. I’m not sure I understood it all at the time.”

“Your world… your world was a different place two hundred years ago, I know that. Your world had lost the ability to dream in the ways it had before. And maybe you’ve recovered that. I can’t say. But in its own way, it had become small. Smaller than our world is now. And afraid--in a petty, narrow way.”

“And do your histories say why this happened?”

Leofe said a phrase in Latin that it took Katherine a little while to pull apart. “You think we lost the ability to dream because of… scientific progress?”

“No, that’s not an exact translation. There is awe in science. My people know that. And my people know of humanists, who found surpassing awe even in a world devoid of spiritual matter or metaphysics. That is not what impoverished the world. What impoverished the world was cynicism. The belief that such things were opposed to truth and the betterment of the world.”

Katherine rubbed her forehead. This conversation was getting into philosophical territory she was ill-equipped to handle even in her native language. Leofe saw her frustration, and changed tacks.

“Do you know the parable of the tower?”

“No.”

“It’s a story my people tell. There was an old man, who owned a plot of land on which stood a great stone tower. Very old. He died, and the land passed to his three sons. His sons came along, and seeing the tower, seeing that it was built from the pieces of an even older structure, set about carefully demolishing it to understand better. How beautiful is the stonework! they said, taking down the stones one by one. How well-made are the foundations! they said, pulling up the foundation stones. How wonderful! they said, on discovering there were older ruins hidden below. But in their haste to understand, they had missed one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“From the top of the tower, the old man had been able to look out upon the sea.”

“You’re saying the world stopped believing that kind of thing was possible?”

“As if no towers could ever be built high enough to see the sea. Yes.”

“And so your people came here because…?”

“Because when you stop believing in the future, you stop believing in the past. When you stop believing better things are possible, you stop believing good things exist now. You stop believing good things ever existed. You stop understanding the value of the things you have lost--if you have even noticed that you lost them. Our tongue, for instance. Our tongue is not so old. There are tongues among the outlanders--Hebrew, for instance--far older, and yet still spoken. There are books in libraries all over your world that mention our language, or describe it in detail. Yet you’d never heard it before you came here. Why is that?”

“I never studied ancient languages, I guess.”

“Did you study history at all?”

“A little, I guess.”

“How far back?”

“Uh… two or three hundred years?”

Leofe nodded.

“And if you had wanted to learn our tongue, before you came? If you had known where to look?”

Katherine thought for a moment. Old English, Old English. Well, there wasn’t a university in the British Isles that taught Old English anymore. Probably not one anywhere in Europe. North America? No, definitely not. No modules.

“I would have had to find a book. A print book, not a digital copy.”

“Where would you have gone for that?”

“I--I don’t know.” The library back at Trinity definitely had a print section. She just had never been there.

“Honestly, everyone in my world learns languages using modules. Using cybernetics.”

“Yes. Even if you had found a book, would you have known how to learn?”

“All right. I take your point.”

“‘They never reckoned that later men might become so reckless, and learning so decayed; they deliberately refrained from the work, because they knew that the more tongues we understood, the greater wisdom would be in the land.’”

“What’s that?”

“Part of the lament of an ancient king for those who have forgotten their past. I think--I think my ancestors were afraid, when they left, that the world would forget how to dream for a long, long time. That maybe even the long prosperity that had come about thanks to the dreams of former ages, the fruits of science and industry, was about to end for good. They didn’t see themselves as condemning their descendants to a hard life.”

“Why not?”

“Because even by the standards of a thousand years ago, the People are immensely wealthy, Katherine. We have tools and knowledge that the ancients never could have imagined. And yes, compared to your world, we might be poor, but we could live a long, long time like this if we had to. If a community this size were cut off from your world, how long would your great wealth persist?”

“Not long, I suppose.”

“And here, we have another advantage.”

“Oh?”

“My life has meaning. I’m connected to every part of my world. I’m connected to my past. I’m connected to my future. I can see pretty clearly, if the People keep living here, keep living like they do, how I fit into it all. And I know I will not be forgotten. Can you say the same?”

Katherine shook her head. “Maybe not. Maybe it is harder for me to find some kind of extrinsic meaning in my life. But that’s the thing.” She stood slowly, brushing the pebbles and sandy soil off her coat, and picking her things up off the ground.

“I don’t know how much longer the People can keep living like they do, Leofe. I’m really worried about it, in fact. And I’m really worried that nobody here wants to listen to me when I tell them that.”

Leofe’s brow furrowed.

“Every year, the outlanders are getting closer, Leofe. Every year, more and more of the Antarctic coast is getting claimed, either by the Authority, or by one of the big mining companies. Every year, my world grows at the expense of yours. One day, they may come to the Valleys, and they may not go away.”

“I don’t want to believe that’s possible.”

“No. And I understand why not. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t. But it also doesn’t mean that the situation is hopeless.”

“Katherine… you don’t know what you’re asking.”

“I’m starting to see that. I tried talking to Wulf about it. I was pretty sure he would understand, but I could barely bring up the subject before he got angry and shut me down.”

“You’re an outsider trying to change our ways. Wulf would never listen to you. No one would.”

“I don’t want to change your ways. Only… adjust them a little.”

“It feels like a terrible threat coming from an outlander, either way.”

“Okay, how would I present as not-an-outlander then? How would I become an insider? I’ve learned your language, I’ve lived with you all for months, I’ve learned about your laws and customs and religion.”

Leofe shook her head. “None of that matters.”

Katherine groaned. “Why not?”

“Because they’re not yours. You haven’t made them yours. I don’t know if you could. You’re not like Wulf, and he knows that.”

“But if I were like him, I wouldn’t listen to me either.”

Leofe nodded. “Yes, that’s certainly true.”

“It sounds like you’re saying the only way I could get through to him is if I didn’t want to get through to him.”

“Could be.”

“Then what’s the point of even trying?”

“There may not be one.”

“Arrgh!”

“Listen, Katherine. It’s not just about sharing his point of view. It’s about seeing the world he sees, or inhabiting the world he inhabits. About showing that you’re invested. That you share his concerns. That you understand his values.” 

“Surely there’s something else I could do to show him I care about his people as much as he does!” 

“Short of dying for them, I’m not sure there is.” 

Katherine rolled her eyes. “Well, if the opportunity comes up to martyr myself, I’ll be sure to take it.”

[pandabearlikes]

My Husband, Kim JunMeow

Table of Contents 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Chapter o1. Kim JunMeow

I hate cats.  Cats are atrocious, selfish little monsters who leave your costly business attire looking like you slaughtered a bear and your airways choking of fur balls.  

"What do they even do?  Eat, sleep, poop.  Repeat."

“Luxury life, you jelly?” my cat lover friend, Lila, clicks her pen against my temple and jeers.

“Pftt.  Of their smelly butts?  Why would I be?” I roll my eyes and collected my Chemistry textbooks from the library table.

“You’re just hating.  Cats are the cutest most cuddly creatures in this world,” she exaggerates with clasp hands against her cheeks and eyes that almost bulge out in animated hearts.

I shiver just thinking about all the entrapped saliva nestled in their fur.  My friend scoffs and begins to pack her bags as well.  It is the last semester of college and the last thing I want is to go to class but the last thing I could afford is to not go to class.  

“The world out there is your cat!” the dork leaps onto her feet and exclaims.

I smack my textbook shut in her face and amusingly correct, “You mean oyster??”  She grimaces from the intrusive breeze and pouts.  “'The world is your oyster’, it means we are all in the position to take opportunities life has to offer.”

The cherubic faced female raises her brow.

“…Because you can’t get the pearl without grinding and prying open the shell.  Some people settle for comfort and pick tiny, easy to open ones and end up with a dull rock.  Others choose to take the road less travelled, pick the biggest oyster, hammer, tear, and groove it until the mollusk reveals the flawlessly shiny one-of-a-kind pearl,” I recite with so much genuine poetic passion that I almost think I’m auditioning for a Shakespearean play.  I’d like to think Shakespeare would be proud of me.  

“No.  I did mean, ‘The world out there is your cat.’  Cats are priceless.  Pearls are not,” Lila counters.

I smack my face with my palm.  “I seriously hate cats,” I grunt under my breath.

“Well, don’t tell me I didn’t tell you, you’re gonna marry a cat one daaaay~” she singsongs.

“No, thank you, you crazy cat lady~” I play along and sing back as I skip my way through the library exit and wave goodbye to my dear friend.  

Books snuggled tightly against my chest, I slug my way to the lab to make up my Chemistry report. I had flunked it twice and it is my last chance if I didn’t want to spend my entire summer back here.

“Meow,” I hear a short purr from the bushes and skid to a stop.  “Meow~” the creature calls out to me.  Only its large circular eyes are visible from behind the shadows.  With a sharp inhale and wide-eyed with realization that said-smelly fur ball monster is right in front of me, I snap my neck to the other side and speed walk away.  

“Meow >:(,” the abandoned cat grunts and scampers back into the alley.  

~

“Ahh, I think I failed again,” I groan and blow concentrated air up at my now messy bangs.  Oh, woe, little miss damsel in distress who can’t seem to get the right amount of sulfite into the beaker or set the thermometer to beep at boiling point.

“What am I going to do with my life?” I dramatize and deflate.  “Should I start bribing the TA?” I mumble under my breath and anxiously bite my nails as I eye myself head to toe at the glass reflection of the campus building.  Hair disheveled and unwashed for three days, dark bags under my eyes, and jeans only God knows how long I haven’t washed for.  Life of a college science student~  What life.  WHAT LIFE?!?!  Even a rich geezer would steer far away, much more the young, handsome, and intelligent TA, Kim Jongdae.  Puffs of happy stars and fluttering butterfly hearts twirl in front of me at the thought of my crush's kitten smile.  

“He likes cats, you know that right?” Lila’s knowing advice replays in my mind and my shoulders slump.  

“No, not even for him, I wouldn’t—“ I start but my voice trails in projection at the sight of the twin glowing eyes reflected on the window.  Slowly, I turn around to come face to face with a white cat.  His luscious fur almost illuminates like holographic magic in the dead of the night.  

“GAHHH!” I shrill and run to hide behind a street lamp post.  

The feline’s marble-like eyes follow me with a striking intensity.  And from the bluish onyx hue, I instantly recognize it to be the same cat from before.  He approaches me, one paw at a time as I cower farther and farther behind my makeshift barricade, that really didn’t protect me much at all.  It’s a good placebo though.

“Wait, placebos are used in the context of medication, you Pabo,” I grumble to myself.  Ah, distress, pure distress of a science major who was too much of a chicken to spend eight years in Med school yet whose brain is wired in a way of a medical dictionary.  Oh woe, me.

“Meow!” the cat’s snappish call wakes me up from my own pessimistic thoughts.  

“Do-don’t get near me!” I order but the cat continues to advance, stopping right in front of me.  His fluffy paw lifts and he places it on the tip of my foot.  I hold my breath and almost lose my breath from anxiety.  Alright, alright.  I admit it, I have Ailurophobia a.k.a the irrational fear of cats.  It’s not that I hate them I just...  

“G-go…” I stutter.  The beautiful feline tilts his head and gazes up at me with a glint in his twinkling eyes.  “D-don’t make me kick you…” I make a false threat and wobble my foot that he had his palm placed on, hoping he would just let go.  

Instead, he places his other paw down too.  “Meow~”

“Stop,” I strictly say.  

“Meow :(“ his purr betrays his hurt.  Innocently, the kitty snuggles his entire body closer and settles down by using both of my feet as his cushion.  He looks up with puppy eyes…only, well…puppy eyes on a cat…yah…you know what I mean…I digress…He looks up with puppy eyes as if waiting for me to reject him but hoping I wouldn’t.

“Stop.  Don’t give me that look,” I frown, “I’m not taking you home.”  

Without letting him reply, I slide my feet backward to freedom.  The cat plops back down onto the concrete floor.  Frowning, I pull the straps of my backpack and start to walk home.  It is already past 11pm, which meant lingering any longer would be dangerous.

I take a step forward.  

“Meow~” the kitty whines, trailing my steps.  He swirls and twirls his way between my two feet and looks up with pure anticipation.  Again, I try to detach myself from this fur ball monster wearing a cute angelic face as a disguise.  He latches on with both paws around my right ankle.  I groan.

“Look kitty…there’s a bunch of cat lovers around here,” I explain with exasperation.  Pointing straight down the street, I persuade, “If you continue down this road and make two lefts and see a peach brick house, stop and meow loudly, a crazy cat lady will take you in.”

“Meow :(“ he grunts and lowers his head.  He licks his front paws and then looks up at me again.  

“Her name is Lila and she’s a little weird but she’s very caring and would adore you…” I elaborate.  “So go on your way…” I shoo and start to walk again.  Again, he follows.  I skid to a stop and try to persuade him again.  This happens for another half an hour before I give up and just head home pretending there isn’t a clingy feline tailing me.  

In front of my house, I try to distract the cat as best as possible so I could unlock the door, slip in, and slam it before he could follow me in but he holds onto my legs and begs in meows.  It is a bit chilly tonight and soft drizzles only showed potential to turn into a heavy rain storm.  Momentary hesitation equals an opportunity for the fluff ball.  He squeezes through the door gap and dashes into my apartment.  Groaning, I toss my head back in resignation.  

“It really isn’t the time for this…” I heave and head in as well.  Too tired from the day of studying and testing and failing and trying to get rid of a cat, I end up just plopping down onto the sofa.  Arms outstretched wide and head thrown back, I think about surrendering and being a cry baby for one day.  You know, the possibility of not graduating in time is quite daunting even if it does sound like #firstworldproblems.  On the other hand, unlike me, this cat curiously wanders around and makes himself at home.  

“Well, I’m tired, Kitty.  I’m calling it a night.  You be good and I’ll drop you off at the animal shelter tomorrow morning, okay?” I bargain.  

Lethargically, I drag myself to my room and toss my dead weight against the bed.  Soft whimpers fleet from my lips.  I snuggle my way into my blanket cocoon.  Flying sheep are seconds from sending me to sweet slumber when I feel a furry paw against my nose.  My eyes shot open.

“No. Stay on floor,” I discipline, lift the bad boy up, and put him onto the ground.  I roll back into my comfy bed…only seconds later, I feel a soft tug against my blanket.  My lips part and I gather up the last of my patience to scold the little monster, when I notice its choppy tugs.  He had grabbed onto the corner of my blanket with his teeth and was slowly pulling it to cover my shoulders.  My expressions soften without my permission.  When he finally deems it a good job tucking me in, the amicable creature leaps back down to the floor and tries to build his own warm bed by curling his tail around his body.  So innocent and vulnerable.  A tinge of guilt penetrates through my heart.  

“You want a blankie?” I question, my voice a little gentler than before.  

The cat surprises me by shaking his head, as if fully comprehending my question.  Chewing on my inner cheek, I spring up, grab a cushion from my chair, and place it on the floor next to him.

“You can use it as a bed.”

Again, he shakes his head.  I frown.

“The floor’s extra cold tonight because of the rain outside…” I observe but the feline tilts his head and doesn’t make the move to accept my offer.

Sighing, I inquire, “You want a towel or a soft t-shirt or a plushie to snuggle with?” I look around my room for some cat-friendly items.  That's when I squint and notice the leather band around his neck.  "Oh, hey…you have a collar.  Are you not a stray?” I kneel down and observe the pendant.  Sadly, the age and rust of the metal tampers much of the information’s legibility.  

Kim Su---

Instead of answering my question, he wraps his paws around my arm, tugs me closer, and tries to nestle on my lap.  I toss my head back and groan at this troublesome cat.  “I should just toss you out,” I grumble under my breath.

As if understanding my words, the cat instantly lets go of my arm.  His eyes glosses over and he melts against the floor as if sulking.  

“I was only joking!” I quickly back track.  "It is pouring cats and dogs outside, I’m not that heartless…” I reassure and somehow instinctively outstretch my palm to pet him on the head.  He likes it very much, much more than I had imagined.  With a long sigh, I scan my bed.  “You want to climb on the bed?”

The corners of his lips curl up and he jumps up and down with joy.  Chuckling, I surrender and hop onto the bed.  He follows suit.

“Stay at the foot of the bed,” I half-heartedly instruct with a yawn.  The white fluff obediently stays at the spot for about two minutes, before he sneaks his way toward my shoulder.  “I said, ‘Foot…of…the…bed…’” my voice slurs due to my sleepiness.  Dozing in and out, I recall him nestling comfortably at the croak of my neck.  Automatically, my body cuddles around the warm guest, who lays the final magical touch to my sweet dreams.

~

My tongue smacks against the top of my mouth palate as I half-consciously try to moistens the dryness.  Whimpering, I roll around in my sheets, hoping to stretch out my sore muscles before the alarm clock shrills anxiety back into my life.  One more satisfying stretch and I open my eyes to a good morning—

“AHHH!” I shriek at the sight of a stranger sleeping beside me.  Automatically, my body chooses flight over fight; I back away so hastily, my body crashes from the bed onto the floor.  The chaotic noise awakens the man.  

Long lashes flutter open.  His movements are fluid and graceful as he rolls out his shoulders and sits himself upright on my bed.  He stares at my astonished state with the tilt of his head and several innocent blinks.  Heaving air back into my frightened lungs, I reflexively lift the blanket from my body and look down.  Just a thin cami and PJ pants, not naked.  Not naked.  Whew.

“So nothing happe—“

The young man stands up, letting his blanket fall fluidly down his broad chest, chiseled abs, and…

My eyes widen and lips drop agape.  Heart pound against my chest.  Front row seats to Magic Mike would be an understatement.  The foreign male stands there, completely oblivious to my bewilderment.  He starts to advance toward me, inch by inch.  I almost choke myself to death by swallowing the lump in my throat.  

“Wh-wuh…who…who are you?!” I panic, scoot myself backward, and recoil against the wall.  He stops a foot from me with his exposed manly goods literally, right in front of my face.  My eyes bulge.  I swallow again, my head starts to spin.  Mouth opens wide - out of shock, I SWEAR out of shock, you dirty minded readers.    

Just then, I hear keys jiggle outside from the front door.  My name rings from the familiar voice of my mother.  Gasping, I turn to the man, who turns back to me with a blank stare.  Maniac panic ensues.  Footsteps click against my wooden living room floor.  Jerking up to my feet, I grab onto the man’s wrist, yank him, and throw him on the bed.  The sheets are tossed on top of him.

“Hey, Sweetie—“ my mother pushes open the door of my room and greets but immediately could smell the fishie fishiness.  

Nervously, I try to cover up my scandalous act and the very visible random lump on my mattress by literally sitting on top of it and pretending it’s all cushion.  Immediately, I regret such decision as I had so coincidentally place my bum right on his manhood.  It throbs through the sheets against my left back thigh and I have to bite my lower lip to keep calm.  

“Hi, Mum…heh…” I nervously ruffle my hair.

“Why do you look so guilty?” she narrows her eyes.  

“Oh-oh…N-no..not at all.”  Needless to say, I fail at my pursuit of a Degree in Deception.  My hiccup attack, thereafter, doesn’t help much either.  “Ju-just…hic-  Just sur hic- prised you came to vi hic- sit without notice…heh…”  No slick, what so ever.  

Nothing I do passes my mother’s eyes.  The sharp and observant female charges into the room, shoves me aside, and throws the cover away.  I shriek; my arms outstretch out of reflex.  Thankfully, the handsome sexy…no…focus…man gripped onto the covers before she exposed his lower region.

My full name bellows from my mother’s lips and I’m clawing my hair coming up with an excuse to cover up my possible one-night stand and not get ass-whipped by the conservative Catholic woman.  Growing up, I was taught that sex before marriage was not allowed.  

“Who is he?!” the furious woman interrogates as she takes note of how scantily clad I am too.  She sniffs the room as if trying to gather evidence of the shameful act.  Automatically, my hands lift up in a pose of surrender, though I had no intention to actually admit to her suspicions.  The gorgeous man across from me gazes in my direction with an innocent stare and a sweet, honeyed smile that contradicts his sexy Devil’s bodayyy.  I spend a moment too long ogling over his features that my mother snaps at me again.    

“I-uh…I…” Beads of tears start to coat my lashes.  

“You have some explaining to do, Young Lady.  I’m calling your father!” the middle-aged woman warns and starts punching numbers on her phone.

“No-no…MUM…” I choke.  Squeezing my eyes shut, my lips automatically move on their free will, “He’s my husband!”  

The phone drops from my mother’s hand.  Internationally, I face palm.  Really?!  That was the worse possible damage control ever.  The attractive man blinks.  He gifts me another sweet smile when he catches my gaze.  Immediately, I look away because I tell myself I can’t be entranced or horny right now with my outraged tiger mom in front of me.    

With the twitch of her brows, the older female laces my name with full warning and seethes through her teeth, “We need to talk.”  I swear my butt crack began to perspire.  

Gulping hard with panic, I glance at the mysterious man as if begging for help, only not really expecting it.  You know, like, what could he really do?  I didn’t even know where he came from for God’s sake.  Was I drunk?  Is this a dream?  I didn’t like the latter thought because I’ve been so dry and thirsty that the wetness of my panties causes ecstasy in my boring life and the thought that I had to possible wake up from it is quite unfortunate.  Priorities, much?  It’s only worth it if I don’t first get strangled by my own mother.  At my stagnancy, the older woman scans my pretend husband and scoffs at the black collar-like choker around his neck.  

I squint.  Wait…I’ve seen that…somewhere—

It’s the third time my full name rips from her throat and I know I’m in the deepest trouble I’ll ever be in.  Wiping my clammy hands against my pants, I turn to my mother and begin to push her out the door.  Blundering words escape my lips, “I’m sorry mom, I’ll explain.  I’ll call you later!  I swear!”  

“You got married?!” she shrills in disbelief.  

“Yes.  I mean No.  I mean…Yes…”  What has gotten into me?  I must be out of my damn mind or otherwise possessed.  Closing my eyes shut, I continue to direct her toward the door.

“You got married and did not tell your father or me?!” the woman scolds and then heaves, “How long have you even known that man?!  Do you know his character?!  What if he’s a stripper?  What is his name?!  I’m going to have your father investigate him!”

“Uh-I…I’ll tell you later.  Mum, can you leave first?” I nervously plea.

“Give me a name or I’m not leaving!” the female adamantly states.

Ah, stress.  STRESS.  Just as I am brainstorming a list of fake names to use, the strange male walks out with a blanket tied around his hip, and answers, “My name is Kim JunMeow.”  

A/N: Yo! I’m back (≚ᄌ≚) Did you guys miss me?  Did you enjoy the first chapter of the new series?  This is probably the only “slower” paced chapter because I had to introduce the situation but chapters here on after are fast-paced and eventful ;);) Also, do you guys like my sassy tone more or my more artistic/poetic writing?  Do share your opinions!

P.S. For the record, cats are my favorite animals in this entire world, surpassing even pandas + bunnies, and you guys know I love the latter two.  

Follow, like, comment, spam my inbox to motivate me.  Daily updates; see you tmr.

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Any guesses on what happened in this chapter??

[bronovanine9]

Nina’s lyrics (others).

YouTube (2011)

Everytime

Notice me, take my hand Why are we strangers When our love is strong? Why carry on without me?

Everytime I try to fly, I fall Without my wings, I feel so small I guess I need you, baby

And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, it’s hauting me I guess I need you, baby

Like I’m Gonna Lose You

I found myself dreaming In silver and gold Like a scene from a movie That every broken heart knows

We’re walking on moonlight And you pull me close Split second and you disappear And then I was so alone

I woke up, in tears With you, by my side A breath of relief and I realized, no We’re not promised tomorrow

So, I’m gonna love you Like I’m gonna lose you I’m gonna hold Like I’m saying goodbye

Wherever we’re standing I won’t take you for granted ‘Cause we never know When will we run out of time

So, I’m gonna love you Like I’m gonna lose you I’m gonna love you Like I’m gonna lose you

YouTube (2012)

E.T

You’re so hypnotizing Could you be the devil, could you be an angel Your touch, magnetizing Feels like I’m floating, leaves my body glowing

They say: “Be afraid” You’re not like the others, futuristic lovers Different DNA, they don’t understand you

You’re from a whole other world A different dimension You open my eyes and I’m ready to go Lead me into the light

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison Take me, t-t-take me I wanna be a victim, ready for abduction Boy, you’re an alien, your touch so foreign It’s supernatural, extraterrestrial

You’re so supersonic Wanna feel your powers, stun me with your laser Your kiss is cosmic, every move is magic

You’re from a whole other world A different dimension You open my eyes and I’m ready to go Lead me into the light

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison Take me, t-t-take me I wanna be a victim, ready for abduction Boy, you’re an alien, your touch so foreign It’s supernatural, extraterrestrial

Ooh ooh ooh

This is transcendental, on another level Boy, you’re my lucky star Wanna walk on your wave length And be there when you vibrate For you I’d risk it all

Oooh kiss me, k-k-kiss me Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison Take me, take me Wanna be a victim, ready for abduction Boy, you’re an alien, your touch so foreign It’s supernatural, extraterrestrial

You’re an alien, your touch so foreign Its supernatural, extraterrestrial oh yeah

Paparazzi

We are the crowd We’re c-coming out Got my flash on, it’s true Need that picture of you It’s so magical We’d be so fantastical

Leather and jeans We’re rock glamorous Not sure what it means But this photo of us It don’t have a price Ready for those flashing lights ‘Cause you know that, baby, I

I’m your biggest fan I’ll follow you, until you love me Paparazzi Baby, there’s no other superstar You know that I’ll be Paparazzi

Promise, I’ll be kind But I won’t stop, until that boy is mine Baby, you’ll be famous Chase you down, until you love me Paparazzi

I’ll be your girl, backstage at your show Velvet ropes and guitars Yeah ‘cause you’re my Rockstar, in between the sets Eyeliner and cigarettes

Shadow is burnt Yellow dance and we turn My lashes are dry Purple teardrops, I cry, it don’t have a price Loving you is cherry pie ‘Cause you know that, baby, I

I’m your biggest fan I’ll follow you, until you love me Paparazzi Baby, there’s no other superstar You know that I’ll be Paparazzi

Promise, I’ll be kind But I won’t stop, until that boy is mine 'Cause, baby, you’ll be famous Chase you down, until you love me Paparazzi

I’m your biggest fan I’ll follow you, until you love me Paparazzi Baby, there’s no other superstar You know that I’ll be Paparazzi

Promise, I’ll be kind But I won’t stop, until that boy is mine 'Cause, baby, you’ll be famous Chase you down, until you love me Paparazzi

Lés Miserables (2016)

On My Own

On my own, pretending he’s beside me All alone, I walk with him, ‘till morning Without him, I feel his arms around me And when I lose my way, I close my eyes And he has found me

In the rain, the pavement shines, like silver All the lights are misty in the river In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight And all I see is him and me, forever and forever

And I know it’s only in my mind That I’m talking to myself and not to him And although I know that he is blind Still I say, there’s a way for us

I love him, but when the night is over He is gone, the river’s just a river Without him, the world around me changes The trees are bare and everywhere The streets are full of strangers

I love him, but everyday I’m learning All my life, I’ve only been pretending Without me, his world will go on turning A world that’s full of happiness That I have never known

I love him, I love him I love him, but only on my own

Super Bowl (2015)

Star Spangled Banner

Oh say, can you see By the dawn’s early light What, so proudly, we hailed At the twilight’s last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars Through the perilous fight O'er the ramparts we watched Were so gallantly streaming

And the rocket’s red glare The bombs bursting in air Gave proof, through the night That our flag was still there

Oh say, does that Star spangled banner, yet wave For the land of the free And the home of the brave, the brave?

American Music Awards (2016)

Got To Be Real

What you find, now What you feel, now What you know, now To be real CHERYL LYNN

What you find, now CHERYL LYNN

I think I love you, babe NINA

What you feel, now CHERYL LYNN

I think I need you, babe NINA

What you know, now CHERYL LYNN

Ooh ooh ooh NINA

To be real CHERYL LYNN/NINA

Ooh your love’s for real, now You know that your love is my love My love is your love Our love is here to stay CHERYL LYNN/NINA

What you find, now NINA

I think I love you, babe CHERYL LYNN

What you feel, now NINA

I think I need you, babe CHERYL LYNN

What you know, now NINA

Ooh ooh ooh CHERYL LYNN

To be real NINA

Ooh your love’s for real, now You know that your love is my love My love is your love Our love is here to stay CHERYL LYNN/NINA

What you find, now CHERYL LYNN

I think I love you, babe NINA

What you feel, now CHERYL LYNN

I think I need you NINA

What you know, now CHERYL LYNN

Ooh ooh ooh NINA

To be real CHERYL LYNN/NINA

What you find, now NINA

I think I love you, babe CHERYL LYNN

What you feel, now NINA

I think I need you, babe CHERYL LYNN

What you know, now NINA

To be real CHERYL LYNN/NINA

It’s got to be real NINA

To be real CHERYL LYNN

It’s got to be real NINA

To be real CHERYL LYNN/NINA

No, no, no CHERYL LYNN

I’ve got to have it, baby (8x) CHERYL LYNN/NINA

What you find, now CHERYL LYNN

I think I love you, babe NINA

What you feel, now CHERYL LYNN

I think I need you, babe NINA

What you know, now CHERYL LYNN

Ooh ooh ooh NINA

To be real CHERYL LYNN

It’s got to to be real (2x) CHERYL LYNN/NINA

To be real CHERYL LYNN

It’s got to to be real (2x) CHERYL LYNN/NINA

To be real CHERYL LYNN

It’s got to to be real (2x) CHERYL LYNN/NINA

To be real CHERYL LYNN/NINA

Real, real, real, real CHERYL LYNN

BBC Radio 1 (2017)

Hands To Myself

Can’t keep my hands to myself No matter how hard I’m trying to I want you all to myself You’re metaphorical gin and juice

So, come on, give me a taste Of what it’s like to be next to you Won’t let one drop go to waste You’re metaphorical gin and juice

Oh oh oh all of the doubts and the outbursts Keep making love to each other And I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying

'Cause all of the doubts and the outbursts Keep making love to each other And I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying, but I

Can’t keep my hands to myself My hands to myself (2x)

My doctor says you’re no good But people say what they wanna say And you should know, if I could I’d breathe you in, every single day

Ooh ooh ooh ‘cause all of the doubts and the outbursts Keep making love to each other And I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying

All of the doubts and the outbursts Keep making love to each other And I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying, but I

Can’t keep my hands to myself My hands to myself (2x)

I can’t keep my hands to myself I want it all, no, nothing else Can’t keep my hands to myself Give me your all or nothing else

I can’t keep my hands to myself I want it all, I want it all Can’t keep my hands to myself I mean, I could, but why would I want to?

My hands to myself Can’t keep my hands to myself (2x)

I can’t keep my hands to myself I want it all, no, nothing else Can’t keep my hands to myself Give me your all or nothing else

I can’t keep my hands to myself

Grammy Awards (2018)

Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen (with Pentatonix)

I’ve heard there was a secret chord That David played and it pleased the Lord But you don’t really care for music, do you? Well, it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth The minor fall, the major lift The baffled king composing hallelujah SCOTT HOYING

Hallelujah (4x) NINA/PENTATONIX

Well, your faith was strong, but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty in the moonlight, overthrew ya She tied you to the kitchen chair She broke your throne and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the hallelujah AVI KAPLAN

Hallelujah (4x) NINA/PENTATONIX

Baby, I’ve been here before I’ve seen this room and I’ve walked this floor I used to live alone, before I knew ya And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch And love is not a victory march It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah MITCH GRASSI

Hallelujah (4x) NINA/PENTATONIX

Maybe, there’s a God above But all I’ve ever learned from love Was how to shoot somebody, who outdrew ya And it’s not a cry that you hear, at night It’s not somebody who’s seen the light It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah NINA

Hallelujah (15x) NINA/PENTATONIX

BBC Radio 1 (2024)

Bad Romance

Oh oh oh woah oh Caught in a bad romance (2x)

I want your love, I want your disease I want you opened mouth and your knees I want your love, love, love, love I want your love

I want your drama, the touch of your hand I want you leather chocked and cuffed to my bed I want your love, love, love, love I want your love

I want your love and I want your revenge You and me, could write a bad romance I want your love and all your lovers’ revenge You and me, could write a bad romance

Oh oh oh woah oh Caught in a bad romance (2x)

I want your horror, I want your design They can bare, as long as you’re mine I want your love, love, love, love I want your love

I want your psycho, your vertigo, kiss I want you in my bed, I’ll make you sick I want your love, love, love, love

I want your love and I want your revenge You and me, could write a bad romance I want your love and all your lovers’ revenge You and me, could write a bad romance

Oh oh oh woah oh Caught in a bad romance (2x)

I want your love And I want your revenge I want your love I don’t wanna be friends

Je veux ton amour Et je veux ta revanche J'veux ton amour

I don’t wanna be friends (4x)

I want your love and I want your revenge You and me, could write a bad romance I want your love and all your lovers’ revenge You and me, could write a bad romance

Oh oh oh woah oh Caught in a bad romance (2x)

NBA All-Star (2032)

Star Spangled Banner

Oh say, can you see By the dawn’s early light What, so proudly, we hailed At the twilight’s last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars Through the perilous fight O'er the ramparts we watched Were so gallantly streaming

And the rocket’s red glare The bombs bursting in air Gave proof, through the night That our flag was still there

Oh say, does that Star spangled banner, yet wave For the land of the free And the home of the brave?

BBC Radio 1 (2035)

Hold It Against Me

Hey, over there, please, forgive me If I’m coming on too strong Hate to stare, but you’re winning And they’re playing my favorite song

So, come here, little closer Wanna whisper in your ear Make it clear, little question Wanna know just how you feel

If I said my heart was beating loud If we could escape the crowd, somehow If I said I want your body, now Would you hold it against me?

'Cause you feel like paradise And I need a vacation, tonight So, if I said I want your body, now Would you hold it against me?

Hey, you might think that I’m crazy But you know I’m just your type I might be a little hazy But you just cannot deny

There’s a spark in between us When we’re dancing on the floor Gimme, gimme more, gimme more, gimme I wanna see it, so, I’m asking you, tonight

If I said my heart was beating loud If we could escape the crowd, somehow If I said I want your body, now Would you hold it against me?

'Cause you feel like paradise And I need a vacation, tonight So, if I said I want your body, now Would you hold it against me?

If I said my heart was beating loud If we could escape the crowd, somehow If I said I want your body, now Would you hold it against me?

'Cause you feel like paradise And I need a vacation, tonight So, if I said I want your body, now Would you hold it against me?

Uhm uhm would you hold it against me?

Grammy Awards (2039)

My Heart Will Go On

Love can touch us, one time And last for a lifetime And never let go, ‘till we’re gone

Every night, in my dreams I see you, I feel you That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance And spaces between us You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on Once more, you open the door And you’re here in my heart And my heart will go on and on, on, on

Love can touch us, one time And last for a lifetime And never let go, ‘till we’re gone

Love was when I loved you One true time, I hold to In my life, we’ll always go on And on and on and on

Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on Once more, you open the door And you’re here in my heart And my heart will go on and on, on

You’re here, there’s nothing I fear And I know that the heart will go on We’ll stay forever this way You are safe in my heart And my heart will go on and

On and on and on and on And on and on and on yeah On and on and on and on And on ooh

Super Bowl (2042)

Star Spangled Banner

Oh say, can you see By the dawn’s early light What, so proudly, we hailed At the twilight’s last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars Through the perilous fight O'er the ramparts we watched Were so gallantly streaming

And the rocket’s red glare The bombs bursting in air Gave proof, through the night That our flag was still there

Oh say, does that Star spangled banner, yet wave For the land of the free And the home of the brave?