#Leadership isn't something you're entitled to

[bonefall]

inch resting... a heather destroyed tunneling and a heather brought it back...

Man like... in Clanmew, I've made it so they have two different names. Common-heather-star, and Bell-heather-star.

If I was in charge of this ship and Better Bones wasn't a rewrite/au to rework canon, I would have given them the same suffix in Clanmew, and then conflict-rename Heathertail on purpose into Bellstar

As if she got a new name on becoming a leader, breaking out of Heatherstar's legacy, and became the softer, pollinator-friendly heather. Surrounded by friends and lovers, bringing back that which was once destroyed.

[winepresswrath]

hi! i always love your MDZS/CQL takes; can i ask what are the questions you think CQL is asking, as compared to MDZS?

I haven't actually revisited either canon in ages, which is making me nervous. what questions the novel is interested in can be pretty contentious all on its own! @mikkeneko has an excellent answer in the notes here which I reccomend to everyone. My own thoughts are honestly pretty scattered- I keep on deleting things and going hm, that's not quite right.

So, for the obvious-to-me example, people reasonably zero in on the creation of innocent doctors/radish farmers who Wen Ruohan is holding hostage. In CQL it's easy to infer that Wen Qing and Wen Ning are maybe the only cultivators and almost certainly the only combatants among the Wen remnants, and their status is much more ambiguous in the novel, which I personally think is asking, essentially, "and so what? were they wrong to run, when they had a chance? Do they deserve what Jin Guangshan will do to them if they go back? Aren't they just people, actually?" Whereas the question that CQL is asking is more to the effect of "What does Wen Qing owe these people, when she is their only defence? What is she entitled to do to save them, at other people's expense? If she fucks up that moral calculus, what then? Does it matter if she's personally fond of some of the outsiders who are going to get hurt? If one of them saved her brother? Later, this question will flip to what Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, and the parallel to Jiang Cheng's situation in particular is, I think, genuinely pretty fun. You're giving up the Wen as soldiers who've laid down their arms in exchange for Wen Qing also grappling with leadership and the question of how many horrors she can stand to look the other way on to protect her own people. one reason I keep deleting so much is that a lot cql's changes were motivated at least in part by censorship, which I think we mostly share a general and justified distaste for! but I also think that within the bounds of that censorship the creative team put a lot of work into actually doing something interesting with those changes. Or, for another example- nieyao! There's a much greater emphasis on the nmj-jgy relationship, it's unambiguously very close and they are clearly extremely important to one another, and I think that's because the cql team has a lot to say about love, trust, power, and the ways those things interact, and that reflects back on all of the other relationships in play, including Wangxian. Almost every time, when CQL chooses change a relationship they make the characters in question closer- that's true for Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, for Wen Qing and the Yunmeng contingent, for Zixuan and Mianmian, and Huaisang and Meng Yao. It's even true for Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, who have a close and trusting relationship in first life! CQL puts a much greater emphasis on "all right, so you care, what next?" How do you choose someone and then choose to be good to them? What if there's a massive power disparity between you? What if you seriously disagree about your priorities and morals? How do you trust someone who's betrayed you? When is it a stupid choice to trust at all? How do you have faith that you know someone well enough for that trust to be meaningful?

for legal reasons i would like to specify that it's not that mdzs isn't interested in these problems. i do remember wangxian's literal trust fall. cql is asking these questions all the time about everyone. also for legal purposes i'm not suggesting that cql lwj and jc love each other. but! they establish a three month wartime partnership looking for wwx and then jc immediately drops him on wwx's say-so despite apparently having a positive enough opinion of him to tell wwx he thinks they should make up twice. lan wangji will later tell wwx he thinks he should loop jc in on the second flautist! these are people trying to navigate some kind of relationship/shared interest/community, as opposed to a hateful void. cql wants to say hey, how do you go about this? while I'm here and rambling cql also puts a lot of emphasis on wwx's connection to yunmeng and changes things up so instead of feeling alienated right before he leaves our last glimpse of him there is happily picking lotuses and playing with a kid! in both stories the narrative is asking who do you protect? who do you leave behind? can you ever get it back? but the angles are very different.

[mr-entj]

Hi Mr-ENTJ, sorry for the long ask. This may seem like a very small issue, but I'm an INFP and I work in the service industry. My main problem is the entitlement in my workplace. I'm working for a corporate organization and, as corporate is, it's full of entitled, rich assholes to the people "below" them. There are policies in place to ensure efficiency and independence so that my clients don't do everything through me, but with my clients expecting anything and everything, I feel like it's my job to enforce the policies and educate them to become independent of having me do everything for them.

I've brought these problems to my supervisor and manager before, informing them that these policies are not respected, the inefficiencies in what the process should be, what clients are doing instead of going back to their actual resources, and suggestions/feedback/constructive criticisms to improve all of these things. My supervisor and manager are both ISFJs and they have worked in this department for over a decade, enough to say "it is what it is; this is what it means to be in service." My coworkers are not nearly as motivated to enforce the policies either because they see no change throughout all the years they've been here, or they don't care for this job enough.

I know that my job is service-oriented and there's something called going above and beyond, but I feel like there is nothing wrong with me educating my clients and i don't want to change what I feel is correct. I feel like another INFP on the team and I are the only ones who feels this passionately about these problems and want to improve it, but this burden is so tiresome and my team thinks it's annoying for me to police everything. I know that this job is no longer for me, and I'm working on finding something else, but until then, what else can I do?

I'm probably just looking for some validation and feedback on what I can do better, but am I wrong? Do I just need to let this go and let things be as they are? Am I just not doing enough? Am I not enforcing this properly?

You can have my validation that you're not wrong, you're probably right, but that still doesn't fix any of the problems you've outlined. Culture change comes in one of two ways if leadership isn't open to change:

The 'judger way' (xxFJ + xxTJ): Become a leader yourself and cascade the change downward -> This requires an immense amount of time to stick around and climb the promotional ladder

The 'perceiver way' (xxFP + xxTP): Get enough influential people to agree with you and override leadership -> This requires an immense amount of effort and may get you fired

Both options require power. Without power, you're stuck at the mercy of other people's decisions inside and outside of work.

This conflict is also a key reason why many INFPs are miserable in corporate environments because they need to adhere to systems and processes other people in power make. Without any motivation to climb the ladder, become a person of power, and change the systems/processes themselves-- INFPs get stuck as passengers in a car that someone else is driving. This is why you see a lot of INFPs opt for freelancing careers, academia, or completely opt out of work (stay-at-home parents) to maximize freedom.

Moving forward, you're correct to find a company that's a better culture fit. Until then, I wouldn't waste another single brain cell stressing about things and people that refuse to change. Save your time, energy, and emotions for the next role so you can hit the ground running.

Related answers:

Any advice for Fi-Dom leaders? Do you think they can be successful at leading people?

Help Mr. Entj, have you ever seen an INFP leader or manager in action? What observations do you have of their leadership style? Do you have any advice for improvement?

Have you worked with an INFP before? What's it like for you as an ENTJ?

MBTI and career choice

Can you give an idea of each MBTI type's career jump patterns or reasonings?

[morlock-holmes]

In re: your recent threads about organizations caring about you as an individual, I’d like to propose that the actual phenomenon might be bilateral vs multilateral relations. An employer is free to fire you whenever your cost to them exceeds your expected benefit because no one else feels entitled to comment on your relationship. In a church, other churchgoers care about the way the church treats you, which constrains leadership. But the difference seems very much in the part of those bystanders rather the organization and its leadership

2/2

N "Same anon who asked about multilateral/vs bilateral relations. Realized that in editing for length lost the acknowledgment that this is only part of the solution. There do exist inalienable relationships, your exampl of the king e.g. or a mother perhaps. Even when a childs relationship with their mother breaks down, or another woman fills most of that role, the original mother is widely viewed to still have some rights in the relationship. But this needs a multilateral relationship to have others to recognize and enforce these rights even if the kid doesn’t want to"

Thanks for the response, I think you're getting at something.

But I want to go up even a level of abstraction beyond that.

Mother is actually a really good example, because even though your relationship to your mother can change, it is still *comprehensible as a relationship to your mother*.

Like, maybe your mother shouldn't have any rights because she's abusive; maybe you say something like, "My mother was a real piece of work, she stopped talking to me after I came out."

But it would be fairly rare, and fairly extreme to say, "That woman used to be my mother but now she isn't".

There is, in other words, still a distinction between "bad mother" and "not mother" even in cases where you don't have any real contact anymore.

Contrast with the situation of the company going belly-up:

While the company existed, you had a comprehensible relationship with, say, Betty in HR. She's the one who does those anti-discrimination presentations and once talked through a dispute with a co-worker.

Then the company disappears and both of you are laid off.

What's your relationship with Betty?

Well... I mean... Nothing I guess. We weren't friends so I guess we aren't anything to each other at all now.

In other words, you went from having a comprehensible, verbalizable relationship to one which can't be understood as a relationship of any sort, good or bad.

This can be confused because I'm using a slightly odd definition of the word "relationship".

You might easily say "I don't really have a relationship with my mother anymore" and we understand that to mean, "I've cut contact with my mother".

But that's a slightly different definition than what I mean. Even though you've cut contact, that she is your mother and you are her child still remains as a comprehensible statement.

Once Betty and I have both been laid off the concepts and structures that allowed us to verbalize some kind of connection or relationship are just gone. We can talk about what our relationship *used to be* but not what it *is.*

I think that this is psychologically distressing on its own terms, not just because it involves being exploited or ignored or treated as a means to an end or because something you valued has been destroyed; All of those things *are* distressing but I think that particular form of disintegration of relationships is itself stressful in ways that cannot just be reduced down to those other problems.

[sopebubbles]

Just a slight input of mine, as in my two cents.

I totally absolutely understand yoongi's and tae's pov about them feeling left out when hobi goes in heat and Jin gets all possessive, but towards the end we also see how yoongi also gets a little possessive about Y/N when hobi mentions having a room for Y/N ( as in yoongi wanting y/n for himself) so in that perspective shouldn't yoongi be a little more understanding of Jin? No? Just me?? ( This is what I feel) Jin could have had his own dreams and desires no?? While trying to do his best (from his perspective) for everyone in the pack...

and somewhere my heart goes out to Jin that maybe he wants to have a child with HIS HUSBAND with whom he's been married for so long and loves so much. And Jin isn't being selfish just that hobi is his husband first and then the omega of the pack??? Jin could have been trying his best under the pressure and with what all knowledge he has?? No??

My heart goes out to jin for trying to take care of everything and everyone without being able to express himself. Maybe I am wrong but this is just something I felt. And I do agree that buying an entire house without consulting with other members is wrong, anyone would be upset.

( also being a leader isn't easy, if the members do not say how is he going to understand, and even if everyone says something and share their input but in the end their points do not get selected that too leaves a sour taste(I hope you understand what I mean) and the leader, I don't know if they do, go about talking with everyone individually? That could be exhausting no?😔)

And I am so proud of Y/N for asking for help. good job MC. I love you for this, you fighter!!

Im glad you noticed that parallel with Yoongi's possessiveness! There will definitely come a time when Yoongi has to confront those possessive feelings when she's actually around AND others want to be around her. I think there's a bit of a difference in the fact that they're in a years long relationship and Jin is trying dictate how other people can be with Hoseok. Yoongi should try to understand Jin's feelings, no doubt, but it doesn't make Jin's actions to alienate everyone acceptable. It will be interesting to compare them as alphas down the line

And yeah, Hobi is his husband but if he wanted to be exclusive like that maybe he shouldnt have brought 3 other alphas into his pack. The most troubling thing about his behavior for them is that its a change. In his own heart Jin never did use to care about whose baby hobi would have, he would've just loved any baby of Hobi's as his own. But his mom put this idea in his head and the fact that he wouldn't talk about it just shows that deep down he knows its wrong.

I think all your thoughts make sense in a way bc those are very natural ways to feel, i just dont think those are the core issues, but im glad you're in Jin's corner! Pack alpha is a tough job and theres still an important issue that Yoongi raised which is that Jin sees pack alpha as a set of privileges (i get to decide where we live) instead of responsibilities (i must provide us with a safe place to live). I strongly believe that if Jin hadn't been first he wouldn't be pack alpha. Its strictly bc of his position as Hobi's husband that he has the role BUT his upbringing/family also makes him feel entitled to it (his mother would be extremely displeased with him if he wasn't pack alpha). The stress is honestly a bit too much for him and makes him close in on himself, not discussing with others and ultimately making bad decisions. At the end of the day, he should be at least discussing important decisions with his packmates even if he ultimately thinks that his choice is the right one. In my opinion thats the more effective form of leadership.

I know everyone wants her to rush back but im honestly very happy with yn for doing the best she can rn. Asking for help was huge even though she might not have asked for all the help we think she needs.

Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

[amurderof]

I'm frustrated for you. I'm not sure what anon was trying to accomplish by insisting any person who identifies as Mormon (or who has an affiliation with or affection for any religion, I suspect) must be brainwashed and foolish. Anon hasn't any idea which way you vote, when and where you practice kindness, or how you are raising your children, and their entitlement is giving me second-hand embarrassment.

Your reply to them was gracious and patience.

You're lovely. I do my best. ❤

I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't suck to read people lambasting something so important to me, because it does! But it's a nuanced feeling, bc I do understand why people feel the way they do. The LDS church has caused harm in people's lives. That's unequivocal, and it pisses me off that the church hasn't done anything other than milquetoast mea culpas about so many of those things (if they even have, which isn't a given, ugh).

Simultaneously, doing bad things does not a cult make. It delegitimizes people's real experiences with the damage actual cults inflict, by saying being expected to not have sex before marriage is a cultish behavior (a real implication that blog post actually made lmao).

I will never argue that members haven't done terrible things, or that our leadership is infallible. (I know people who have disowned their children for leaving the church; but they are not the norm, and I find the practice horrifying. I had no idea a well-respected family in my ward growing up had a second daughter, bc they'd kicked her out for being gay; fortunately, the daughters have reconnected and have a lovely relationship now that their parents are dead. I can't even say the parents were awful people, bc unfortunately people contain multitudes. They were lovely, spiritual people; they did an awful, hateful thing to their own daughter. I don't have a solution to this. I'm leaving it to God.)

All this rambling to say, people who leave the church bc they've been (or feel they have been) betrayed need therapy, or at least some kind of detox. Not bc I think the church is toxic, but bc it's likely their mode of thinking IS.

[the-romantic-lady]

Surprised to hear you like Henry VI and Margaret of Anjou, given that you're a fan of Richard, Duke of York. Isn't that a conflict of interest or something? Lol. What's your opinion on Elizabeth Woodville and the Woodville clan, Margaret Beaufort, Warwick and the Neville clan, and George, Duke of Clarence? (Basically what's your opinion on the rest of the players of the Wars of the Roses lol.)

Gosh, anon you are encouraging me!! I love that you care about my thoughts <3. Alright then, let's start.

I used to be very anti-Margaret of Anjou. Until I started to look at things from her perspective. York was dangerously popular with a lot of children and a formidable wife. Margaret must have felt insecure. Also, there is this theory that Margaret's mentor and confidant William de la Pole, Duke of Suffolk was murdered under the order of the Duke of York. That must have been a tipping point. But I still think that York was the better ruler and person. I will get a lot of hate for this, but women in general were not suitable rulers for the Middle Ages. They were often driven by more personal ideals (Empress Matilda vs. Stephen is a great example and Margaret was no different). Ofc there were men like that too but women seemed to always be like that. As a woman, I understand and the later periods were more suitable for female leadership. York was a much better ruler. He was driven by the stability of the realm rather than his personal issues (he put his own son-in-law in prison and Margaret wouldn't even budge on her failure advisors). And her entitlement was mind-boggling. I love how messed up she was. And Henry...I just feel sorry for him. The Middle Ages also were not a time for artistic and kind kings lol.

Elizabeth Woodville and the Woodville Clan:

As I have said, I pretty much like everyone before 1485 lol. But Elizabeth Woodville was annoying af. That made her interesting but I can't get over how incredibly greedy she was. She was the daughter of a minor gentry and widow of a Lancastrian knight. Edward makes her queen and she abuses that power so much. She has problems with everyone. Warwick, George, Richard, any noble who didn't kiss her arse and even Edward. Queens were meant to level the mind of King. Edward III's queen famously saved French clergy by going on her knees to beg the King for mercy. Ofc that was a bit dramatic but many Queens did this. It was called the Queen's mercy or something like that. But boy was she a hell of a woman. Despite being raised in a pretty privileged household, she was shrewd and survived to the end. She could have learned a thing or two from Cecily Neville about how to put that strong personality to better use but regardless. Also, I love how she was shunned fron Henry Tudor's court when Richard welcomed her to his with open arms. I mean...karma. But all in all, I like her. Its as they say "well behaved women seldom make history". She had flaws (so did the everyone else!) but her character is interesting and admirable. And despite that shaved forehead, she is a gorgeous woman. So I get where Edward was coming from XD The other social climbing members Woodville..not so much. The shameless way that they tried to push themselves in and take hold of power when they had literally fought on the losing Lancastrian side is embarrassing and oh so disgusting. Like Warwick secured the throne for Edward and they were given precedence over him. I just...yeah. John Woodville legit married a 65 year old duchess (he was 19) for money and power. They were a hungry bunch and courting them was Edward IV's biggest mistake and towards the end of his life, I think he saw that.

Margaret Beaufort

I will keep this short since I don't know much about her but I dislike her. I understand that she went through a lot. Her father apparently suicided when she was 1 and that is traumatic. And back then suicide was mocked and disgraced. She ofc blamed the Duke of York....cause at this point why not? She ofc went through a really young and traumatic birth at 13. Her husband was gross and that's that. And we know that Edward kept her son exiled so she couldn't see him. But despite all this, I just don't like her? I suppose its the super impressive Plantagenet women who just make me look at the sleezy and dull Margaret with disdain. And she gives me real phony vibes. Like at times, she just seemed to cosplay Cecily Neville lol. When you see women like Cecily Neville and Margaret of Anjou taking charge in the way they did, Margaret and her deceptive ways are just cringe worthy.

The Earl of Warwick

This man. Just this man. The way that England seemed to revolve around his whims is amazing. He was a real Duke of York stan and so I have to appreciate him. But he was so fearless. Henry VI, Edward IV, Margaret of Anjou, you name it. He stood against them. The Duke of York seemed to be someone he admired but other than that, he fought for himself. He helped Edward take the crown and worked hard to keep Edward's throne. He was embarrassed with the whole secret marriage saga but still stuck by. But Edward clearly forgot who he owed his success too. The man escaped an assassination by Henry VI's men and saved his father and uncle from it. He actually took charge in the first Battle of St. Albans in 1455 because his rivals the Percys were mocking him. I just love him. Ngl, sometimes when I read about him, I just blush. A man if there ever was one. There were so many attempts at disgracing him. He was the Captain of Calais and in that role fought Medieval pirates! And he was ruthless at it. People loved him and he carried that popularity well. I should stop fangirling over a dead guy. I think I made it pretty clear that I love him XD.

Neville clan

I like them too. Warwick's father was pretty much York's best friend and I love him for it. They were also social climbers like the Woodvilles but so much better at it. They didn't have the entitlement that the Woodvilles did and managed their powers well. Cecily Neville was ofc a Neville and she is one of my favorites. One of my favorite thing about them is how courageous they were. Like all of them. Unfortunately, Anne and Isabel are both obscure figures. I wish we knew more about them. They were pushed around like prizes. Good on Richard for giving Anne a position to make her own decision. I feel bad for those girls. Although the York brothers were known to be good looking so lucky them?

George, Duke of Clarence

Ah, George. I love this man. If there was one son of York who inherited his father's glamour and charm, it was George. And I love that he stood up to his brother and sister-in-law. He was sometimes too problematic but I still love that! Glamourous and problematic. How can one not love the man? Although his betrayal of Edward is kind of sad considering that Edward really tried to be like a dad to his brothers. George took Edward's love for granted for too long. His breakdown after his wife's death is really sad too. Interestingly, this seems to be a pattern with the Plantagenet men. They all have breakdowns and downfalls after the death of their wives. Their women are so much stronger emotionally.

I know this was long! I hope you enjoyed the post :D. I would love to know your thoughts too and if you agree or disagree. Seriously, thank you for letting me talk about this. Nothing makes me happier than to discuss these people!

[rokachan]

Headcanon A-Z: Q - Queen, U - Ugly, V - Visionary

Q - Queen - What kind of leader are they? Are they entitled? What have they inherited from their parents? How powerful are they? Do they act superior towards others?

W'khusai is... Chaotic. She doesn't belong in leadership positions. She does whatever she feels like on whim, to hell with the consequences, and ducks out as soon as things look like they're turning for the worst to leave other people to deal with the backlash. She left her clan young and took only the clothes on her back, inheriting nothing from her Nuhn or mother materially. She inherited her mother's spots though, birthmarks that dapple her shoulders, hips, and calves that are shaped like rosettes. Khu isn't terribly powerful, she's a streetwise idiot who has a gun and some muscle. 99% of her 'power' is sheer confidence and attitude. W'khusai lives life by faking it, people don't question you as often when you exude c confidence and act like you know what the heck is going on. People are less likely to second guess you when you act like you're supposed to be doing whatever, or be wherever, and are entirely certain that they are in the wrong for daring to assume anything otherwise.

U - Ugly - What traits do they find unattractive in others? Do they have any of those traits themselves?

Roka despises liars. Despite what she is, Roka is surprisingly honest. She may leave out details as she sees fit, but it is genuinely a rare thing for her to intentionally tell an outright lie, and she expects the same from others. She is not a material creature or one who bases value on appearances, though she will frown upon people who are exceedingly vain or who diminish others based on appearances. You cannot judge a person by what you see at a glance, she knows that far b better than most people. She can proudly say that her dislike of people is of people as a whole, regardless of if they are pretty or wealthy or ugly or famous.

V - Visionary - Do they have a plan for their future? How imaginative or creative are they? Do they have vivid dreams?

Muunokhoi lives life one day at a time. He'd like to find something grand to build towards, but he's a complacent, lazy lizard who is perfectly happy with life as it is. He's happy to paint a vivid picture with his words and song, recalling days past and sharing stories from his own youth on the Steppe. Sharing stories he has picked up or heard along the way, giving old songs a new life with his own melodies. Barring him stumbling across something inspiring that speaks to him, he is likely to live out his days being relatively adrift but entirely content in it. He adapted to life in Eorzea well enough, and if all he accomplishes is surviving in the land he took refuge in and making it into a home for himself that's honestly enough for him.

[cancerfairy]

hello! for the ask game!

initials : S.K

your blog gives off very cute plus boss b vibes TBH

i got your emoji in the other ask :) and thank you <3

☁︎︎ your best qualities:

hmm so i feel like you might have a childlike energy to you? you're someone who's able to move on from the past relatively easy and you're also able to offer others peace and understanding when they need it. you're someone who spreads positive energy wherever you go and you also bring an air of fun and freshness too. you're a very sweet and genuine person and you can be pretty sensitive as well as creative and i'm pretty sure you're someone that trusts their intuition. yeah, you have a powerful intuition and imagination. because of this, i think you're able to decipher when negative energy comes towards you. i feel like you're also someone who can be the life of the party and you might be really fun to hang out with. you can be shy at times too tho. either that or you like to hang out with your friends. you just work with others really well or like to be around others. you're somewhat of a "team player" and if you're feeling good you want others to feel good as well. you might really like experiencing new things so you tend to get bored if you're not doing much. you're passionate, lively, free thinking and willing to take risks in order to feel satisfaction. you're probably really talkative to and you like when other people talk to you. i also feel like you might be really good at manifesting? either that or you might just be considered a very lucky person. are you a sag?? you give me sagittarius energy hmm.

☁︎︎ your worst qualities:

because of your childlike nature you might struggle with gaining leadership qualities. you tend to act very rude and boorish when things don't go your way and you lack a sense of maturity at times. you have a lot of emotions bubbling underneath the surface. because of your sometimes entitled behavior, sometimes people don't want to be around you or don't want to work with you. your inflated ego can cause fights with others as well as unnecessary struggles. you can be quite self absorbed so the advice here is to seek to feel what others are feeling. express empathy to others to overcome these challenges. you and others peoples egos are constantly clashing leading to irritation and frustration. you might also be really insecure which is why you act this way.. maybe it's because you despise authority figures. maybe you wanna be your own boss but this isn't the way to go about it. i feel like you're also someone who wants to take risks because you feel very bored in life. your everyday routine is just not cutting it and you'd rather be doing something, going somewhere. you're generally unsatisfied so you lack patience in waiting for good things to come to you. this leads you to terrible decisions that often make you sad. on top of that, you might have a fragile ego so you get offended quite easily and hurt. you might also try so hard to get others to like you and to make opportunities work but this just causes you to suffer and you're left being burdened and exhausted. that or you're just exhausted from doing the same old things all the time. you tend to feel very restless and you lack energy so your advice is to really ground yourself and your ambitions. become someone who is practical, down-to-earth and really think things through thoroughly. also be more ambitious! if you're tired of doing the same things over and over, create new goals so you can get out of that state of mind! pay attention to your inner thoughts and self talk! your words are powerful so use them for good!