#Leera is just like 'Im sorry what??'

[mr-dwight-dwicky]

[ Previously ]

@tennofficial

Dwight yells as he watches his metal arm be torn apart before his eyes. He screams, the integrated nerves feeling just as painful as when he first lost the arm in the first place. Maybe more. Its like its being burned off little by little.

He makes one last run for Vargas. He doesn't know what he means to do but he also doesnt care. He has to get Johnny back. He cant let Vargas take him!

However, finds himself running into a wall of Egan's nursery. "No," he hisses under his breath. "No, no, no!" He pounds the wall with his fist, leaving a large dent. The vibrations cause the closet door to pop open, and Dwight sees a very familiar blue foot.

"Leera," he breathes, falling to his knees, scrambling over to his partner. She's tied up with some strange material, but it's enough to keep her secure. There's a gag around her mouth, as well. "Hold on, Firefly, I'll get you out I..." He remembers that he is currently missing an arm, but he manages to take the gag away.

"Im so sorry, dearheart," she sobs, her green eye already wet with tears. "The rope it...it's made of something I...I couldnt use my flames. I didnt even see him Im so sorry."

Dwight pulls Leera to him with his remaining arm, shushing her sweetly. "Its not your fault, Firefly, its not your fault." His own voice is getting choked and his eyes burn.

He almost forgot what it felt like to truly lose...

"I got here as soon as i could I couldn't..." Addie rushes into the room, cutting off as she looks around. There's baby Egan with a baby dragon on the bed of the master bedroom, an Irken with pink eyes that Addie cant remember meeting, and there's pieces of metal scatter all over the floor. She looks over at Dwight and Leera. "Where's Uncle Johnny?"

Dwight feels everything at once. Frustration. Rage. Despair. Another person he couldnt save. Another something dear stolen from him. Another moment where he was left alone and no help came. His eyes are like blizzards, cold and deadly as he turns them on Tenn.

"You. Finish untying her," he orders Tenn, indicating Leera. "You try anything else and i will not hesitate to rip your head from your body one handed."

With one hand its hard to get up but he manages, making his way over to Adalet.

"Where. Were. You?" He demands.

"What happened to your arm?" She asks, trying to ignore his tone. "Where's Uncle Johnny?"

"You can thank Vargas for both of those things," Dwight replies, his voice like ice. "You know most people when they get a distress signal they move their ass to get to the trouble."

Addie doesnt like that tone. Something about it is making her stomach twist horribly. "I didn't...I didnt know thats what it was. It was just flashing-"

"What the hell else would it be, Adalet?!" Dwight snaps. "Did you even try to contact me? That's the first thing a supposed genius would do!"

Its hard to breathe. Is Dwight looming over her or is that her imagination? Her ears are ringing. "Dwight...I think you're scaring me." Her voice is too soft for her liking.

"Oh, am I? Am I scaring you, Adalet?" He mocks. He can barely hear Leera pleading something behind him. "Perhaps that could have been avoided if you had FUCKING BEEN HERE WHEN I CALLED FOR YOUR HELP TO STOP VARGAS FROM TAKING JOHNNY!"

There's a high pitched scream that breaks through everything, and an explosion like Dwight has never seen. The room is bathed in deep blue light, produced by the flames now shooting out of Adalet. Dwight's first instinct is to grab Egan, who makes a coo of curiosity. Another burst of navy flame sends Dwight backwards to avoid it, making him land on his backside.

Addie falls to the floor, hands almost squeezing her head and knees curling into her chest. Its like her fear is suddenly a raging animal and it has her pinned. She can't move. She cant speak. The only coming out of her mouth is loud broken sobs.

[amethystpath-writes]

A Gentle Blade Part 19

Part 18 here

I lied. The dinner will be next chapter. In the meantime, enjoy the tension pre-dinner.

@tears-and-lilies

******

"Have you thought up a new plan, Your Majesty?" Sir Guard only said it to prevent himself from acting gleefully when he saw Leera behind the queen. She was okay. She wasn't limping, wasn't groaning or moaning in pain. The assassin was okay.

Rennera ignored him, telling her walking captive, "You will walk over there, take the seat beside my future king and you will not utter a word until our feast has begun." Sir Guard watched the assassin make a confused look. He wondered what it meant, what the two discussed when the queen left him here.

As she spoke, the queen scanned the table. She bit her lip then said further to Leera, "If there should arise a time that my company speaks to you directly, you are to only say things that will be in my favour. If-"

Leera paid no attention, Sir Guard could tell. She met his eyes and they remained locked there.

Both parties of the stare felt relief. Both were a little more at ease seeing the other unharmed, or at least for the most part. The prince's hair was still wet from when Rennera dumped a tankard of water on his head. He was still adorned with the gilded rope, still uncomfortably tied to the chair he sat on.

On this note, Sir Guard broke the two's eye contact, looking at the assassin's free wrists, ankles, throat, any and everything that could be decorated with chains, rope, leather, or shackles. Leera was entirely free, so why wasn't she attacking? Only her lips had to be sore right now. Sir Guard figured maybe they tortured her while he was unconscious from the poison, but...Well, the assassin walked fine. There were no winces, no gentle touches to sensitive spotted bruises, no signs of complaint. Leera was perfectly fine, except maybe her lips. She hadn't spoken yet, and she was still at the other end of the table so Sir Guard couldn't tell if her mouth was still pained.

He glanced at her eyes again only to see hers had never left his own. It suddenly became very clear why she hadn't tried to leave already. A part of Sir Guard naturally assumed it might have been because she was out of practice, unsure if she could successfully take anyone down. This wasn't it, though, and he knew that now in her gaze. Leera wasn't going to leave him. The prince didn't deserve her- in whatever way he had her. The two weren't an item. He didn't think so anyways. Either way, Sir Guard didn't feel worthy of her friendship- or whatever it was they shared.

"Go. I told you to sit." Leera nodded at the queen before walking around the other end of the table, coming to Sir Guard's side where she eventually sat. They didn't look at each other now, and they wouldn't dare do as such until there was a distraction.

The queen tutted. "That won't do. Guard," The prince's attention snapped up to her and he shook his head.

He wasn't a guard, not anymore. He had no need to respond to that word except by Leera's mouth. Sir Guard, he thought to himself and almost laughed aloud.

"How many generals will there be?"

"Only two, Your Majesty. Then two kings and a..." The crooked guard who straddled Leera and taunted Sir Guard searched for the correct word. "An emissary, of sorts, I suppose."

"An emissary? What king is so cowardice that they'd send an emissary my way?" Rennera dug her nails into one of the decorative chairs around the table. She was still at the other end, but she was making her way to the head seat of the table now. All of the chairs were noble looking, with their brightly coloured fabricated cushions. They could almost be considered thrones. The queen's guests will sure feel welcomed, the prince thought.

"Thharewood, my queen." Crooked answered. "Their king is sick, has been for weeks now. The journey would surely kill him."

It took all of Sir Guard's might not to react. Thharewood. That was his home, his kingdom. He swallowed, listening.

Rennera took her seat with a hum. "Has he no heir to send away instead of an emissary? I feel offended."

Sir Guard swore he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. His hands were becoming moist with sweat. Despite his efforts not to, his eyes darted around the room. He looked between the empty tankard on the table in front of him, to the table itself, to the queen, and to his lap. The prince shifted in his seat, readjusting his shoulders against the chair and beneath the rope.

"The only heirs are a missing prince and two young princesses, Your Majesty."

"Missing prince, you say?" The queen admired her nails. Leera looked to Sir Guard; he felt her gaze like a soft whisper on the back of his neck. He never told her he had siblings. "I wonder what happened." Rennera hummed, letting Sir Guard know she didn't truly care. He felt relieved.

"Some think he drowned in the floods in the western valleys," Crooked explained. "Others think he killed himself after finding the lover he was meant to run away with dead in the woods."  After a long awkward pause, he finished, "That is all I know of the matter, Your Majesty "

The prince scowled for two reasons. The first was this; he didn't know there'd been floods in the valleys. The seasons must have been changing again. It seemed like a quick change, and if people believed he died in those supposed floods, that means surely enough people suffered that the rumour was believable. Sir Guard wished he could have been there to help. Was it better to help one person through misery you caused or help many through a natural disaster? The prince felt more guilty than he already did for suggesting the former. He moved on from that, giving another reason to his scowl. This was that people believed he had a lover, even more so that he would kill himself for said lover. Sir Guard never took up lovers. It was too dangerous. Loving anyone meant putting them at risk. The world was filthy and enemy kingdoms liked to hold ransoms. No, he didn't have a lover.

Who would have guessed the prince went missing to punish himself for a silly mistake he should have known not to make?

"Two generals and an emissary," the queen said. She laid her head in her hands, elbows on the table. Rennera was thinking.

Does she not have a plan? Sir Guard wondered. The queen sure as hell couldn't tell everyone they were lovers, not if she intended on keeping him tied up like this. And he knew Rennera wouldn't release him. She didn't trust her future king not to do something, anything. Maybe the queen feared he would try to kill himself again.

The prince shook his head. He hadn't meant to almost die. His liquid tipped finger had so little on it that he thought it would only hurt, and he deserved to hurt for everything he put Leera through. Of course, putting the poison on his tongue was also proof of allegiance. He was so afraid Leera would think he sided with the queen that poisoning himself was the only way he could think to show he only wanted to protect the assassin. But, he knew if Leera had been able to say she believed him, he still would have consumed the poison. Again, he deserved it.

"-should stay in that seat. He is the future king, Your Majesty."

"Hm, I suppose you are right."

Sir Guard was thinking long enough to himself that he missed what the queen had been saying.

"Bring four wooden chairs then, instead of five. Two for the generals, one for the emissary, and one for my dearest assassin."

"Yes, my queen."

Wooden chairs? Two other guards in the room were collecting the throne-like chairs and dragging them away, while Crooked left to fulfill the queen's demand.

Two for the generals and emissary. Sir Guard had been so impressed that Rennera would be treating her guests nicely, all like equal royalty. Now, though...There was no way she had a plan, unless it was to piss off the generals and non-royals. Well, Dogars won't care. The prince's friend would expect it from this kingdom. The generals, though, would be quite offended at seeing how they were thought of as servants, rather than political icons.

His mind whirled back to Dogars. He never thought about his father assigning his best friend to do political business in his absence. If he'd have thought about it, Sir Guard would have actively hoped the king of Thharewood wouldn't do that. It wasn't that Dogars couldn't handle himself; it was that politics were terrible. No matter what you did or said, you were always doing the wrong thing. And to be in a meeting with so many other kings and generals, there were bound to be more mistakes than there were against just one person.

And what would Dogars do when he saw his very own prince tied up in golden rope, in their largest enemy's palace? What would he do when the queen said they were betrothed? How would Sir Guard respond?

Double-edged blade, my ass. This was an infinitely-edged blade. It was a sphere made of needles and everyone would be tossing it to one another tonight.

Crooked returned with the wooden chairs. Leera stood completely on her own, without the queen or the guard's instructions. Crooked had smiled at her, one side of his mouth lifting while his nostril flared. He set the chair down and the assassin took her seat as soon as possible.

Rennera commented, "Look how great my dearest assassin is behaving." She sighed. "I might actually let you eat a full meal today." Leera said nothing.

Soon after, a guard opened the dining hall doors, telling the queen that representatives from Eliaph, Harcose, and Termine had arrived and were directed to guest rooms before the dinner.

No Dogars yet.

Just as he thought it, the message delivering guard said, "The emissary from Thharewood was spotted a village away and should be here soon. Would you like for the others to be escorted to this room now, Your Majesty?"

"Not yet, but I do need you to take my assassin and have her bathed. She may choose whether she bathes herself or has a female servant do it for her." Rennera looked over to her two captives, "And Leera, dear, make it quick. We have little time, but I will not allow you to insult our guests with your stench."

"Might as well have our cell cleaned, as well. You are lucky neither she or I have become sick from the close living proximity of our own bodily waste." If he weren't restrained, Sir Guard would have taken a fake sip out of the tankard in front of him. "Not to mention I need a bath as well. You do a poor job taking care of other humans. I hope you don't intend on having any children." He heard Crooked take a step in his direction. The prince smiled as Rennera motioned for him to stand down.

"Very well. Send a servant to the assassin's cell and have it cleaned." Then, "Be sure my betrothed receives warm bathing water."

The guard who came in about the representatives began walking over to Leera, who stood as he approached.

Sir Guard didn't stand, not only because he was still tied down, but because he wouldn't have stood yet to begin with. "And for Leera?"

Laughing, the queen said, "She will get what is most easily accessible."

"I want her to have the warm water. Give her mine." He said this to the guard standing behind Leera.

"Excuse me, you are in no position to make demands," Rennera said, and her voice edged on anger.

He turned his gaze to her. "Well I know my arms and legs aren't heavily available," He wriggled beneath the rope for effect. "But my mouth still works. I think that's position enough."

It was fascinating to watch the queen's face twist in aggravation. He couldn't tell if she was acting or if she was really becoming irritated. Perhaps both.

"If you continue to be smart, I'll have you gagged again."

"Gagged?" It was the first time Leera had spoken since she came into the room. All attention went to her. Her eyes were wide, as if she were shocked and scared of her own action. Nevertheless, she continued, "You never said you gagged him, or that you would do it again." The assassin spoke slowly, and Sir Guard finally took the time to notice that her lips were still swollen, but much less than they were before. They looked more healed, but by Leera's slow speech, he could tell they were still sore.

Crooked stepped forward and this time the queen didn't stop him. His hand fell on Leera's shoulder and she stiffened.

"There's no harm in what she just said. Leave her alone." Tensions were becoming too high if Leera was getting thrown into the mix. Sir Guard decided he needed to mellow out, stop antagonizing if only for the assassin's sake. "I'll keep my mouth shut. Just don't...don't do anything to her. Please." He'd been trying to make the queen angry with him, not her.

The guard didn't release Leera until the queen nodded. "If either of you act out again, I promise that you will regret it." She hummed. "And if that isn't enough to convince you, think about each other." Rennera smiled, and Sir Guard could imagine venom dripping from her teeth.

Sir Guard opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. It was a simple question, a confirmation, but would she hurt Leera for it if he asked? Now that he thought about it, he had two questions, not one.

"Go ahead. Speak, my future king." He hated that endearment.

"You'll give her clean water?"

"Of course. It'd be exhausting if she got an infection somewhere or became sick."

He nodded, waiting for further permission to speak, so as to not harm Leera. Rennera urged him to go on. "I want to know what is allowed versus what is not ahead of time. You got upset with me for being 'smart' though you never explicitly said I couldn't. What are our limitations?"

This made Rennera think. "My dearest assassin knows her limitations already, I trust?" Sir Guard turned to see Leera nod. She took a deep breath as she did so. "So it is only you who is unsure."

The queen went on to explain that Sir Guard was only allowed to speak to 'my dearest assassin', unless Rennera specifically addressed him to speak. That meant if a guest asked him a question, he was to remain silent until prompted by the queen. He wasn't to complain about anything, even if someone asked what he disliked about his stay. Sir Guard doubted he would receive this question once they saw him wrapped in rope. They would know his stay was involuntary.

***

The assassin finished bathing and dressing quicker than the prince. This fact was mostly due to the fact that she had old and cold water. She believed it was regular temperature for some time, but they'd made her wait to get in until they found her change of clothes. The water was freezing by the time she slid in. Having said that, she slid out just as quickly. She wanted to wait, just stand in the sunset-lit room, but guards and servants ushered her out as soon as she dressed. Leera sat at the dinner table for nearly fifteen minutes alone with the queen and her new personal guard, alone, before Sir Guard finally arrived.

During her wait, Sir Guard had a very pleasant experience- physically. Otherwise he felt miserable knowing some rough handed servant was probably shoving Leera's head beneath the water to rinse it through. They were probably half-waterboarding her. All the while he got to lay in a tub, in a room, all alone. His guards waited outside...He had to shake himself of the terrible thoughts of Leera's treatment. Rennera had told the two that unless one misbehaved, the other was safe, and Sir Guard had been civil while he was escorted to his bathing room. There was no reason Leera would be in pain, only possibly cold from unwarmed water.

When Sir Guard walked into the dining room, he noticed Leera already sat in her seat. She looked at him, looked down, up, down. Was she apprehensive of him? Why? Nothing was different about him except that his brown hair- which likely looked black before- was perhaps a bit fluffy. He wore royal clothing instead of rags. Other than those two things, there was nothing even relatively shocking.

The prince peered behind himself, thinking maybe- just maybe- Leera had been nervous about something else. Maybe a guard was about to knock him on the head so that they could secure him to the chair again without fear of struggle. But there was no threat behind Sir Guard. Another guard, sure, but she was no danger right now. Her face was stern, but it didn't scream 'I'm going to club you in the head with the butt of my sword'. What was the assassin anxious about?

Sir Guard sat semi-cautiously, expecting every one of the queen's Guard to launch at him with shackles and chains, gilded ropes and dirty rag gags.

They didn't jump at him per say, but with the queen said simply, "Restrain him," they wasted no time in grabbing either wrist and forcing them behind the throne dining chair he sat in. He winced as the bruises from before made contact with the edges of his seat once again. Sir Guard was thankful, at least, that they didn't gag him.

Soon after, the queen called for a guard to bring in the guests. Sir Guard never found himself praying before, but he did now.

******

Part 20 here

[just-call-me-johnny-archive]

[[TW for abusive language and canon typical violence. Reader discretion is advised.]]

Johnny doesn’t know when he started walking through a crowd of people in a ballroom. It feels like he’s been doing it for a good while, but he can’t be sure. He just knows he has to find his partners. He pushes through until he finds a clearing in the middle. He looks about for fiery red hair and a tall man in a suit. There are a lot of people dressed up. Even he’s dressed up- but his clothes are torn and bloody. He recognizes them from the night Dwight was impaled.

In his distracted walking state he stumbles and trips over something large and ends up falling onto his knees. After gritting his teeth against the pain, he looks over his shoulder and his eyes widen, tears already forming.

He goes over to Dwight’s side and pulls the bleeding, beaten man’s head into his lap. “Dwight! Dwight- what happened!”

Dwight’s eyes open and lazily roll over to look at Johnny. There’s a coldness to them, like the smaller man woke him up from a good restful nap.

“You happened, Johnny.”

A shiver runs down Johnny’s back and he blinks and Dwight is gone, he’s kneeling down in a thick puddle of blood. He shakily rises to his feet and walks aimlessly. He almost doesn’t recognize how the fluid turns into solid. A blanket. Or a towel. Covering what looks to be a body.

With trembling hands, Johnny peels back the layer of cloth and screams as he scrambles backwards. There’s no way- no- this can’t be real. Leera’s not dead. She’s not. This is all a dream.

He gets back to the feet and suddenly becomes aware of the wood at his feet. He could recognize the floor of 777 with his eyes closed- every ridge embedded into memory. Every creak.

A mirror stands beside him as he fumbles around the dark room, grabbing for something- a light switch- a door. He finally grabs something until that same thing grabs onto his wrist. And pulls him roughly.

“Leera?” He says before tears are coming to his eyes. “Oh- thank fuck - I thought you-“

“Stay away from me, you monster! How could you? You should have died, not him! You!” She grabs onto the back of his hair and slams his face into the mirror repeatedly, saying the same thing over and over. He should have died. He should have died.

Johnny wakes up, panting, sweating, sobbing. He feels about his face, feeling a bandage over one of his eyes and yards of cotton-padded skin. There’s an IV in his hand and he’s laying on a hospital bed.

It was just a bad dream.

Suddenly, the light comes on in his room and Leera and Dwight are sitting by his bedside. They look- conflicted.

“We need to talk, Johnny,” Leera starts, then looks over to Dwight for support.

“About- where we should go from here- once you’re healed up. We just- need some time to really think about what being with you means for us- for our family.” Dwight holds his girlfriend’s hand and Johnny has never ached so much for the same touch, but it’s like they’re deliberately not making an effort to touch him at all. Like they’re trying to keep him away.

“We just believe that maybe we rushed into this too fast. That we were just happy you survived and- we got a little too excited. But I think we’ve had plenty of time to… mull it over.” Leera explains.

Johnny feels his throat constrict and his body tremble- he’s already starting to sob- trying not to show it. Trying to show he’s stable, that he’s a good partner and that they don’t have to leave him. That he can be good.

“Oh boy, and he’s crying- look, Johnny, this is exactly what we were talking about. We haven’t even said anything and already you’re starting to get overwhelmed. We just don’t think we can keep walking on eggshells like this around you. Certainly not for the rest of our lives.”

“I’m sorry,” his voice is wavering as more tears come out, every word feeling like a stab at his heart. “I’ll- I can be good. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me- im- im fine- I-“

“No, you’re not fine. You need help, Johnny, and frankly I’m tired of acting like your therapist. Every moment we’ve been together has been one session after another. It’s just not healthy or right- for any of us.” Dwight’s voice is stern with a finality that makes Johnny feel like his world is crashing down. Which it is. He feels like he can’t breathe and before he has time to try and settle his racing heart Dwight and Leera are already leaving his room.

“Wait! Wait please—!” He yells in pain as the IV in his hand keeps him there even as he tries to get out of the bed. He yanks it out and tries to get up before someone is pushing him deep into the mattress, keeping him there.

“Hey- hey it’s okay. Just a nightmare, Swallowtail. Just lay back for me.”

Johnny stops struggling for a moment as he hears that nickname, before looking up and finding Vargas hovering over him, a hand pushing into his shoulder, trying to get him to lie down again.

“That’s it. Stay right there. You’re okay. There- much better.”

He moves quickly to try and roll out from under the man but Vargas quickly takes both of his wrists into his fists and keeps Johnny pinned.

“I said fucking stay dammit.” He growls, tightening his grip until bruises appear on Johnny’s wrists. Johnny looks frantically around the room but nothing is visible other than Vargas. He doesn’t know where he is. How he got here. Where is his Counselor and Cornflower?

“Don’t you remember? They didn’t want you. Nobody did. Not after what they saw you do. When they saw who you really were.” Vargas says, a grin on his face as he lightens the grasp on Johnny’s hands.

Johnny’s head snaps back to stare at Vargas who just laughs and strokes the side of Johnny’s face with the backs of his knuckles. “There there- it’s alright. You’re with me now, and I already know every piece of you. I made you the way you are. I’m all you have now. So I would stop fighting back if I were you.”

“But… they said they loved me. They - they told me they wouldn’t leave me. They wanted me. They-“

“Lied- I think is the word you’re looking for. I’m sorry that you’re the last to know, Swallowtail, but unfortunately you just never could learn the easy way. Did I not warn you countless times that no matter how believable it may seem- no matter how infatuated they claim to be- nobody will ever love you?”

Johnny blinks back tears again; Vargas had told him that. But they’d been so sincere. They’d held him, kissed him, they’d even gone farther than that. Or at least he had with Dwight. They acted like they cared so much- that they would be by his side every step of the way. How could they just throw him to the side like this?

And what about his family? Was he no longer worthy of their mercy of their love? What did he do? What did he do wrong? Why does he keep fucking up like this? Why was he so broken and worthless?

“Chin up, my boy. At least you can no longer ruin their lives and make them live in fear that one day you’ll snap and kill them. They’re much happier without you around. Isn’t that what you wanted? For them to be happy? To be safe? Then why are you so upset?”

“Oh- is it because you only wanted them to be happy and safe as long as you’re around? You never truly cared about them either. Only wanted them for their love and affection and attention. It’s only natural.”

Johnny’s teary gaze shifts to the side. Was Vargas right? Did he really care? Shouldn’t he be happy he can no longer hurt them?

He only feels empty and sad and lifeless. Vargas lets go of him completely, backing off the bed. Johnny’s eyes widen as he watches him leave. He hates this man- but his mind is screaming for him not to leave. He doesn’t want to be alone right now.

“I guess in the end you were always meant to be all on your own, Nny. After all, you just push everyone away. And one day, they won’t come back.”

With those departing words, Johnny watches as Vargas fades from his sight and leaves him in the dark room. At some point the man had cuffed Johnny to the headboard or some other thing because when he tries to chase after him or even get up from the bed, he’s completely immobile. He screams for him to come back, for Dwight, for Leera or Chance or Addie or Midge or anyone to please just give him another chance. He can be good. He doesn't want to be alone. He sobs to himself, screaming until his lungs nearly give out.

Finally, he actually does awaken, screaming into the dark room. He feels around his wrists for cuffs that aren’t there. His breaths are wheezy, panicky and he feels like he’s wearing a blindfold but he’s not. There’s something on his eye that feels like cloth. His entire body comes alive with sharp pains with every movement and he skates his fingers over the bandages wrapped around him, shaking as he remembers what comes next.

But when only the beeps of his own equipment resound back to him, he settles into the bed and tries to regain control of his breathing.

Just a nightmare.

@leera-ozynite

[matazz]

entries

diary entries of roy endoza

here’s some journal entries of roy endoza that i wrote for the duration of the campaign. for the most part, i kinda wrote these in my twitter drafts just to write down roy’s thoughts. sometimes to remember events that happened, and sometimes just to vent out roy’s feelings to myself. i ended up saving these on a document for safe keeping and i’m glad i wrote these.

‪entry 47‬

‪i miss milo so much. his laugh, his eyes, his smile. i would do anything to have that back.‬ ‪i know its my fault he’s gone. its only been a few months, but i’ll fix that; all of it. no matter how long it takes, no matter what happens. i’ll find some way to do it.‬ ‪entry 53‬ ‪i’ve retrieved a letter from a dream telling me to visit latham and retrieve a key. i’m curious, so i’ll check it eventually. it was definitely odd.‬ ‪entry 55‬ ‪i met a young boy. his name is fox. he’s some sort of shapeshifter. he’s quiet, but his presence is nice company. he also received a similar letter to mine. i have a feeling we’ll be travelling for a while.‬ ‪entry 62‬ ‪we retrieved the key & met some other ppl with letters too. we’re heading to a trinket store back in origin now. i dont wish for them to know of my life so i’ve found a way to steer them as far from possible to finding out about myself. i’ll probably visit ma too.‬ ‪entry 63‬ ‪an elf woman named leera attacked us after i told her i wasnt going to give her this key. i dont like her. she seemed very cocky.‬ ‪entry 65‬ ‪delilah is kind.. i feel like i’m able to trust her. i asked her a question about my goals, vaguely, and it turns out that ayce asked a similar question. based on the message in his later i get the feeling he’s undead.‬ ‪entry 66‬ ‪i told ayce the biggest con in all of history.. but i confirmed he’s undead. i have more hope in my goals now that i know its possible. he hugged me bc he thinks we’re similar. i dont usually allow people to do that but i’m sad for him. i wish i could ask more about him. ‬‪entry 69‬ ‪i’m getting closer to ayce, unexpectedly, but good for me. i need his information.‬ ‪he talks to me a lot about his life; i think he’s become dependent on me which is easy for me. its hard for him to see i’m using him when i lie to his face.‬ ‪entry 72‬ ‪we’re travelling to copper coast now for another key. if it werent for ayce, i wouldnt see any other reason for me to come. fox is still around, but i feel like he's doing his own thing. the other two arent big presences for me to care about.‬ ‪entry 73‬ ‪atlas is a werewolf? i didnt think those were real. this group keeps getting stranger. first a shapeshifter, second an actual living zombie, third a werewolf.‬ ‪ive continued my lie to the rest of them. they all seem to have believed me, strangely enough‬ ‪entry 74‬ ‪copper coast was very pleasant. i wish to come back someday.‬ ‪entry 88‬ ‪this trip to clandesteine has been a disaster.. what the honest fuck‬ just happened ‪entry 90‬ ‪fox told everybody about himself, finally. i feel this huge sense of pride?? i’m very proud of him. i dont understand why i feel so attached to him but i adore him so much‬ ‪entry 92‬ ‪((incoherent scribbles, kinda like “vsdjfsasifwnqkosdkv”)) i think i accidentally implied to ayce that i love him romantically and i think he loves me too... i’m freaking out and i dont know how to react... i think he thinks i’m cool and romantic but i didnt mean to be. ‪entry 93‬ in all honesty, i just wanted to tell him he needs to be more cautious of me. a part of me wishes he could figure it out himself so i dont have to tell him. ‪seriously! i dont know how i did that! i do love and adore him too but i feel like shit.. i dont deserve him, especially considering who i am. on the other hand, i hope he never finds out the truth about me.‬ ‪entry 94‬ ‪oh my god. atlas killed a man and ayce and fox proceeded to tell the guards. i feel sick. i’m currently at home but if they say my name at witness testimony i’m royally fucked. i dont know. i might just run for it and live in myr’s peak. maybe no one will find me.‬ ‪entry 95‬ ‪the group managed to get bailed out using ty’s name. benefits of being friends with rich people?‬ ‪fox found my poster though, so he saved my name during eyewitness testimony. i told him the truth. its been the first time i told someone how i really felt. he wants me to tell ayce but hes the last person i can tell. ‪entry 97‬ ‪we’re in lunarden! it feels nostalgic to be back.

i want to go back to every place i miss. i took ayce to that me and nori used to go to back in high school. i think shes currently performing in solardome? i miss her‬ entry 97.2 ‪i came up with a few different ways to complete my goal. i have a few more probing questions, but i will have to ask later. i think i’m getting closer to the answers‬ entry ‪97.3‬ ((scribbled out)) ‪i havent had sex in a while. i’ve wondered this before but realized it was an inappropriate question to ask. i wonder if ayce’s dick works? it probably doesnt. this is so sad. i dont know how i’m going to fuck him if thats true.. yikes‬ ‪entry 98‬ ‪i’m planning to get completely smashed once we get to solardome. i feel like i deserve it.. ive been pretty stressed and havent got laid. i’m crying remembering that ayce might not even be an option.‬ ‪entry 98.2 ((lost)) ‪i love ayce so much, and its confusing. am i just sexually frustrated? am i just lonely? am i just sad? i feel guilty because it tears me apart. im confused because i love milo still, too. i know i should tell him the truth, its whats right but i know he’ll hate me. i dont know what to do. (extra note inbetween the pages, torn out: to mom. i love you venhfrhdy mcuh. thank you fir everhything. yes. roy.) entry 98.3 what happens if i succeed? i hope ayce doesnt kill me. entry 100 ‪good morning. ayce & i are officially dating. were in solardome atm; i dont remember much of last night but i remember thinking he‘s beautiful. is it wrong to fall for him?‬ ‪entry 101‬ ‪good evening. i saw ms winters. she was undead, just like ayce. she died a year ago. her soul was lost though. i killed what remained of her undead corpse. i assume she was trying to remain in this world.. i’m scared that this will happen to him too. maybe ill have to do the same to him. entry 101.2 i hope ayce's soul is able to sustain in his body for longer. i cant afford to lose him. entry 101.3 ‪the blackness on my fingers has risen up more than it has before. its almost hard to write with my hands anymore. i assume its bc the gods know what i'm doing & are against it, so they're trying to give me more recoil than usual. but the last time i killed an undead corpse was in my house 6 months ago, and i promise that the last time i will use it is when i bring milo back. (torn note inbetween the pages: hi ayce. its unrealistic you'll ever find this but there's some things i want to say. back when we first met, i lied to you as a reflex when you asked me why i'm dealing with necromancy. to be honest, i could kind of gather you were undead, but i still lied anyway. my story is personal, its hard for me to be honest. i know i'm an idiot, and i'm sorry i used you. to be truthful, i still am a horrible person and for the entirety of our relationship i've already known that i was using you and i've felt so guilty about that. my feelings are complicated, but i've never lied when i said i loved you, and i still do; but i still want to bring milo back. i made a mistake and i want to fix that. the truth is that i still love him too. i know you deserve better. i'm sorry about lying to you. roy) entry 102 a dragon made us experience our dreams and nightmares. jade's scared of blindness and bugs. a valid fear, in a way. and she was dreaming of doing shows. i think it was supposed to display a feeling of happiness and joy, but it was just spooky since we all experienced her dreams with no sound. i never realized how scary it was to be deaf until i experienced it. atlas' was morbid. people were dying and there was so much gore. then there were people saying they owned him. i knew he was a bad person but it was scary to see all of that again. he dreamt of a workshop with a girl and a young boy. it seemed sweet, with a tinge of nostalgia. i would have never expected him to have dreams. he just seems like a horrible person with no sympathy to me, but i guess he has feelings. i still think he should go to jail, but i feel like he'll just try to kill me if i say anything instead. fox's was sad. we got thrown into a void

of empty space where we were surrounded only by dopplegangers and a vaguely humanoid figure. he seemed so lonely and upset. he's scared of being forgotten by us and that made me so sad. i adore him, and he's grown a lot since we first met. i gave him a hug when we went into his dream sequence. i hope he knows i will never forget him. his dream was sweet. he just wants to save people and hang out with us still. i think he'll go far, and i would love to be there for him still when all of this is over.c (the rest of the pages with entry 102 are torn out) when i saw milo in the old house again just being his happy lovely self i felt miserable and happy at the same time. i love him so much, and i knew i missed him already but seeing him again just made me feel so much love for him all over again. it just makes me miss him more. it's hard not to cry thinking about what i've done to him. i wish he could come back. ayce's was hard to watch. i witnessed myrkul force ayce to choose between killing me and quri. ayce cried as he couldn't make up his mind, and then i watched as i fell into a void. i felt sick and i wanted to puke. i thought ayce found out about me. i thought he knew that i was using him for necromancy, but when i asked him about it, he told me that he thought i killed him with quri. i... personally don't have any reason to ever kill him so that was a bit sickening to think of. i dont ever want to kill anyone. i dont even have anyone i hate enough to want to murder. the only person i hate enough to want to kill is me. i know based on what i said before i guess it might have seemed that bad; but haha... i would never ever want to do that. putting people down at hospital was rough. god, putting ms winters down was rough and she was already dead. i love him, but it's probably better if we end the relationship and just stay as friends? he's already witnessed me still loving milo, and he thinks i murdered him... i'll try to clear up his misunderstanding, but it'll be hard to without giving more of myself away. this relationship has so many problems. entry 103 a new discovery. the world isn't flat? the god's are using their powers to “lock off” the rest of the world. apparently sanctuary is only a small part of the world. that was a really weird discovery to find out? it's kind of hard to believe, but at the same time, not. apparently they keys we've been collecting hold the respective power of the gods, and they're used to “open” the gateway. i have no idea what that means. apparently beshaba wants to use our keys to do exactly that. and also they can kill the god's? entry 112 when we came back to lunarden we discovered that delilah and allen were kidnapped by atlas’ syndicate. i knew atlas was trouble. i hate having to associate with him. we’re going to save them yet it makes me nervous. entry 114 i feel like i almost died in there. we saved the others and no one was hurt though. we’re going to trip back to lunarden and then travel through the travel gates back to origin to try avoid people. allen mentioned something about strange readings. i have a feeling i know what it is. i’m going to ask lathandar questions. entry 115 nvm we encountered leera. this group genuinely scares me. I’m travelling with people who are down with murder. i should seperate. she uncovered my posters to them and i want to die. she also mentioned the last key at a ball. i need to bounce. lathandar also confirmed my suspicions last night. entry 116 fox left before i could. i feel bad. like maybe it was my fault. i miss him. we have to continue though. entry 117 its so hard to find a bag of holding. i just want to have this spirit stone around without having it in the open. entry 118 we’re in origin now and delilah let me rent out her bag of holding. an absolute kind soul. we bought tickets to the ball. so expensive. i wish i didnt do that. entry 123 i’ve done so much in preperation of whats to come. Soon. i hope it works. i’m going to travel to solardome and investigate those readings. entry 124 suspicions

confirmed. miss winters is alive. she captured my biological father. a strange way to meet him. i cant see him as my father. i told her about the key, and we’re going to rearrange our circle. we’ll still use the spirit stones, just as a backup. i’m scared. i’m terrified. i dont know if it will work and i dont know what will happen if it does. i know the gods will be mad but i’ll deal with the consequences when it happens. i’m sure i won’t be a champion anymore. we’re doing this on friday evening, which means i’m no longer attending the gala. they don’t need my assistance anyway.

[diaryofakasiehousewife-blog]

Before the marriage

Insert 3 You know you come to a point in your life where you just want to get past some things and just move on! There are those people you just wish you would never have to meet again in your life. And then boom, they just right there in your face. This is exactly what was happening to me on that perfectly planned girls night out. This ever handsome fine Kabo just appeared like ghost in front of me. Well i hope he just came to say hi and leave because tonight i just want to have a blast, i dont want hawks and old flings crowding me. I came here to get drunk and get laid. And not laid by some Tswana guy from Mabopane, tonight im looking for a good dick, a lethal weapon, a black something with muscles. Akere there is a say that Tswana guys aint gifted in the dick department. And yes i have had my share of badluck when it comes to Tswana dicks. Probably because Im Tswana and i grew up in a Tswana infested area of Brits. Home is Letlhabile by the way...surprised? Don't be. So yeah, yeah! Its rare to find an anaconda dick that side. Lol haha, anyway "My long lost Tumi, finally! We meet again." Said this Kabo guy to me "Small world hey." I added Now where are those girls now? I could use some back up "Hey, go byang?" I asked Kabo (hey how are you) with that fake smile you pull when you get pulled over by metro police o sa tshwara license. "Eh T-bos, ke ene ngwano ntse ke go chaela ka ene," (eh T-bos this is the chick i was telling you about) talking to the guy he was with "Oh, the Tumi chick? The one a go tshwarisitseng letlapa for ntwana ele ya mopedi?" (Oh, the Tumi chick, the one who stood you up for that Pedi boy) Like really? Really? Yes my Thabo was pedi but, really now! Go ne how do they even know he was Pedi. "Hahahahaaha very funny Kabo, nice seeing you again" "Anyway this is my friend T-bose, T-bose this is Tumi from Letlhabile" Kabo introduced his friend to me. "So what brings you to house 22 my love, wheres the pedi dude?" "Firstly im not alone, and secondly stop calling him pedi dude, his name is Thabo." Just then my girlfriends came back. I couldnt be more relieved to see them "Sorry sorry, coming thru." Shouted Karabo as she pushed her way through between Kabo and his friend. "This ice bucket ya imela," (this ice bucket is too heavy) she said as she put the ice bucket on the table infront of me. By the way my friends ke Karabo, the short chubby yellow bone chick also from Letlhabile. She and i been friends for almost all our lifes, we from the same kasie and we went to high school together! Shes the very energetic and noisy type. Metro police by profession. Very notorious. Shes also that kinda chick you would never want to go out with just the 2 of you! She will leave you at the table alone half way through the night, talking to this and that. Apparently she knows everyone everywhre we went. If you went to places like Midi roots, Banthala or mo boGarankuwa mo, o tla itshola (you'll regret it if you went out with her to local clubs) Once she starts getting tipsy, you would swear shes been drinking with her clit! The next thing you know shes gone, nowhere to be seen...you'd be lucky if she ever came to tell you that she is leaving. So thats why wherever we go, wherever possible, i always make sure i also invite Lerato, ah dis one is such a doll. She is also from kasi and we went to high school together but we werent always tight. She wasnt too good looking on the face but she was one of those tall girls with tall legs and some curves but no butt. Virgin boobs and a flat stomach to die for. Dark skinned. Cheese girl, and by cheese i mean cheese! Not by daddy's money, but her own money. At the age of 25 (she was a year older than Karabo and i) batho ba di Bcom. Own 2 bedroom apartment in Midrand. No cat no dog. Her only baby is the new Bmw 135m. Ke raa gore thats how we got here today akere. Always put together. Half a bottle of savana and she starts smilling uncontrollably. I wonder why these get too drunk quickly girls like murdering themselves with poisons lie savana. Why not just have fruitree. Good thing because she was our time keeper, the one that keeps our handbags and cellphones safe cos ud never see her up and dancing. The only time she would stand up is wen she goes to the ladies. You would ask urself gore this people why ba ipogisa so... cant they just order in some take away and box office their friday nights away at the comfort of their couches. Because you would swear gore they are not having fun at all. Well i guess this is the right time to also give a slight description of myself too... Well you already know that i have those bracketed legs, a size 36 booty, average height, caramel bone, big eyes, not too pretty as Karabo thou. But i definately fall under the "mapyatla" category. Law student. Sex addict lol. But very selective. Sometimes i think my friend Karabo got shagged more than i did. Or maybe it was because i get into committed relationships e be ke ikutswa and she was not the settling type. "Sorrying boabuti, ke nna Karabo...ske lare ka le phapela mara ne le eme mo tseleng" (sorry guys, im karabo. dont think im too forward, but you standing on the way) karabo said as she came to sit next to me. Lerato also came and sat on the other side, putting me in the middle. She just waved a hand towards Kabo and his friend. "No babygirl relax...nna ke t-bos" said Kabos friend. Did i mention that he was skinny? Skinny skinny skinny and wearing those pointy shoes. Kick nd boboza. 2015, a guy in a white printed shirt, tucked inside blue over sized jeans and poity shoes. S-curl and cut. Sunglasses on the forehead. Well i guess we have different tastes in life! Because right there and then, Karabo asked him to walk her to the toilets. This chick thou... "Ok ladies, lets not disturb you any further because this is clearly a girls night out." Said Kabo "Yeah, it definitely is." Wheew couldnt be more relieved. "Well you still have my number mos, o sa tsamaya ke sa go bona." "Nice to meet you..." extending his hand towards Lerato. "Lerato." Said lerato meeting him half way. "Kwl, just tell t-bos i went back to our table." Well just then Karabo was back, excited as hell! "Yoh chomi, dat skinny guy is loaded, ke motho le di tender chomi. O mo tseya kae? A re o nale range rover and a house in Harties my friend, a re eskhale nyana ke mo buzz a lo nrekela dijo ko sunnypark!." "Really Karabo, ka pela so?" Asked the jaw dropped Lerato. "Eya Leera, dont judge the book by its cover chomi. And you knw while we were back there, he actually kissed me and i touched down there..." she paused and covered her mouth with her hand. "Yoh that dude o tshwere anaconda, im wet as hell mo ke leng mo." She continued. You knw she went on and on abt the skinny guy for abt an hour or so, only interrupted by hitting the dance floor here and there. When the clock hit 12:30am haaa, the drinks were in the system now and every now and then Karabo and i would disappear, kiss potential strange guys, exchange numbers and come back again. Well this nigerian guy invited me to join him and his friends at their table for a few minutes. So i left Karabo and Lerato and went ahead. He said his name was Ashley and that he was from Centurion. Well, after some few minutes he said we should go to his car to get some privacy. Which i agreed to. He said his car was not parked far away from the entrance so i shouldnt worry about him abducting me or something. When i passed where me and the girls were sitted, Lerato was now alone and said Karabo had left with the skinny guy. I insisted on sitting with her and getting us refills but she said she was ok and dat she knew i was gonna come back. Well i went on and followed the niger guy who was already waiting for me near a red audi a4. He opened the passenger door for me to get in and just when i was about to get in someone grabbed my hand. "O ya kae...? A reye, e tswa." Really? i looked at this person and i knew that this voice belonged to Kabo. I pulled my hand and tried to protest, telling him to foetsek a se ntataka! Well i didnt finish that sentence very well, and i dont even knw wht hit me..... Blackout if not dead..... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Share with more of your friends to like the page! The larger the audience the better.