#Let's have Tim Burton and Del Toro direct batman movies just to say f*ck it

[flyingbird27]

Batman Freaky Femme Fatales - A Thought

(I made a post about this on my side tumblr and then deleted it without properly copying it so I could post it here.)

But one thing I will probably never see but really like is if there was a Batman movie where the Femme Fatales are sexy but also really FREAKY.

And by FREAKY I mean the freaky awesomeness of Danny De Vito's grotesque yet memorable version of the Penguin. The makeup, the sewers, the actual penguins, the live fish, the Biting of Noses!!

Don't get me wrong, the 80s/90s Batman movies had their faults. But I will never forget Michelle Pfeiffer's Selena Kyle lying dead and twitching as cats lick and bite on her bloody, lifeless fingers.

Let's take this freaky energy and go even FARTHER.

What if Selena Kyle was always the Weird Cat Lady of the apartment complex (they think it's strange for a lady her age but at least the rats are finally gone). What if her fellow tenants don't bat an eye at 50 cats visiting her apartment window the night of her transformation? But what they don't see is Selena in an eye-less trance shoveling raw fish into her mouth a la Tom Hardy in Venom.

What if Catwoman looks like a slinky Leather Dominatrix from afar, or even up close. But her victims don't just get whiplashes and scratches, they also have jugular bites from canine teeth that would put Dracula to shame?

Imagine Batman has his first fight with her and discovers that her teeth are sharp as razors, and they glisten when she grins in the moonlight. He watches her claws grow and retract because, surprise, they are her actual Fingernails!

What if Bruce Wayne struggles to kiss his girlfriend Selena because he secretly witnessed Catwoman catch a live rat with that same mouth? What if Selena secretly hopes that Bruce Wayne sleeps upside-down and eats moths for an evening snack?

What if Poison Ivy was Literally a Cryptid? What if she is the patron saint of Gotham City's most Rejected Creatures. Rats, pigeons, ravens, flies, and cockroaches visit her in swarms when they discover this new source of sustenance. They are starving, she feeds them, she eats them.

What if she is a Venus-human-trap? She looks like a forest nymph, she lures you into a false sense of security. Then the instant you are no longer useful or friendly to her, she becomes something Different. She becomes something Else. You are shrieking and crying and begging for mercy as she feeds your flesh to her Unfathomable Self.

What if Batman and Alfred, when discussing strategies to take on Poison Ivy, have to recall their understanding of Lovecraftian themes? What if Batman has the same kind of harrowing battle as a protagonist in a Junji Ito story? What if Batman has to stop Poison Ivy not only to save Gotham but also because he knows every time she allows her Ego to die it lasts a little longer than before?

Long story short, I really would love someone to make a version of Batman femme Fatales to be just a little more off, maybe just a little more strange than they usually are.

Because I promise, they will still be quite sexy, at least to me.

(Post Script: In this scenario, Batman is NOT a creature. I think it's funny if he is just a Human-Man with Human-Man training and this surprises EVERYONE he fights.)